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  • File : 1302411180.jpg-(261 KB, 898x999, 1297699982772.jpg)
    261 KB TG RAP Complete Samurai 04/10/11(Sun)00:53 No.14540230  
    Lich, I'm calling you out,
    Get your bony ass ready.
    I'm reppin my Ki Shout,
    And the flow is steady.
    Yet you think I'm low tier,
    As you lay on the smack.
    While this verbal puppeteer,
    Is gettin poised to attack.
    You talk shit bout your cock,
    When we all know that its gone.
    Rhyming ad hoc,
    Yet you're nothing but my pawn.
    There you go, I'm finished, I made one for the team,
    Now go ahead and look at my rhyme scheme.
    >> Monk 04/10/11(Sun)00:57 No.14540271
         File1302411422.gif-(895 KB, 307x174, 1302145139253.gif)
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    Monk is far greater than Samurai
    It's the truth baby so don't cry
    Bitches gonna bitch and say I lie
    But all those fuckers are shit and can go die.
    >> Anonymous de Bergerac-Fleur !RZND91lf7s 04/10/11(Sun)00:58 No.14540283
    Ninja doesn't use
    Western rhyming poetry
    Haiku for the win.
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)01:00 No.14540308
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    >MFW your form is all off and you're missing a kigo and solid kireji anyways.
    >> Gunslinger 04/10/11(Sun)01:07 No.14540379

    You fight with your fist,
    And talk like you're black.
    Its pointless to resist,
    That your rhymes are just whack.
    I sit far away, and bust a cap in your ass,
    Call me a bitch, but I'm packin' brass.
    Yeah, I hear ya, you like being prepared,
    But hey, I'm not the one whose sexually impaired.
    You know, maybe once you catch up with the times, you'll be okay.
    Instead chasing down windmills like Don Quixote.
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)01:17 No.14540474
         File1302412621.jpg-(64 KB, 600x750, 1287113071328.jpg)
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    MC OGM here.
    That's right, Original Game Master.
    You fuckers don't even stand a chance.
    Best get a party to step to my shit.

    So you PC rappers think you can start shit.
    I'm MC OGM and I'm rollin up in this bitch.
    The tomb of horrors ain't got shit on what I do.
    I only play for TPK so you know you're all screwed.

    Now sit back as I spin tales of your cavern invasion,
    droping traps on you of the rock falling persuasion,
    Now I don't give a fuck if you roll with evasion,
    When I say that you're dead there is no fucking debatin.

    To me, you bitches weebo shit don't fly,
    Gun's fist or steal won't be preventin your demise.
    With the snap of my fingers the ground splits and everybody dies.
    Now shut the fuck up gunslinger, monk, ninja and samurai.
    >> Monk 04/10/11(Sun)01:19 No.14540491
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    Guns are cool and I'll give you that bro
    But fists just rule; thought you should know.
    I see your hand cannons, all made brass metallic
    But if you ask me they appear suggestive and phallic.
    Nothing against dicks, cause I'm sure you like those
    But I don't turn tricks, at least not for bros.

    Now without your guns you're naked and disarmed
    But I'll never be without being seriously harmed.
    Cause these fists are steel or adamantite
    'Search your feelings Luke' you know I'm right.
    >> Complete Samurai 04/10/11(Sun)01:23 No.14540531

    You're spreading your slander, much like a coward.
    Stealthing about, never deflowered.
    Bitch, you couldn't even grasp a sword in your hand.
    So why don't you bend right over, you're about to get manned.
    Call weaboo, you can't phase me.
    My cock's 4 miles long, like the Yangtze.
    Dude I hope you're ready to spread,
    Cause I'm not gonna be done without fucking your head.
    I'll draw my blade, but you're gonna get shaken.
    Dude, your luck is already godforsaken.
    I see that you've bit off more then you can chew,
    So I'll be fair and end this with weapon fighting, two.
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)01:33 No.14540627
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    You make your move I dodge like breeze
    I see your attempt, how sad, oh geeze...
    Your rhymes are week your insults feeble
    No pain to me; even fags are people.
    You like fucking men, I understand - that's cool
    But please try again; if you want to get this fool.
    So I say you want to hit me? try harder than that
    Better be fast; only 3 swings at bat.
    >> Priest (Cleric) 04/10/11(Sun)01:33 No.14540644

    Come here, little boy, why don't you sit on my lap.
    I'll tell you a story then give you the clap.
    You think you're hot shit, without using a weapon,
    But when I'm done with you, you're gonna have trouble stepping.
    Fuck with me? And you're battling a god.
    Cast a spell, and you're a portable lighting rod.
    See y'all know your messin with some deity's might.
    It don't even matter how much you think your punk ass is right.
    Cause this is my domain, I'm owning this battlefield.
    I think its best you children just fucking yield.
    >> Level Negative 13 Bard 04/10/11(Sun)01:38 No.14540694
    rolled 20 = 20

    Seven a.m., waking up in the morning
    Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
    Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
    Seein' everything, the time is goin'
    Tickin' on and on, everybody's rushin'
    Gotta get down to the bus stop
    Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)

    Kickin' in the front seat
    Sittin' in the back seat
    Gotta make my mind up
    Which seat can I take?

    It's Friday, Friday
    Gotta get down on Friday
    Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
    Friday, Friday
    Gettin' down on Friday
    Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)01:39 No.14540704

    FAIL demotivational. At least get one with the correct quote:

    "When people told themselves their past with stories, explained their present with stories, foretold the future with stories, the best place by the fire was kept for... The Storyteller"
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)01:41 No.14540740
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    You all think you're dope
    But hidden where you can't see
    Are the tripwires I laid
    And twenty pounds of TNT

    You'll never see my face
    Go ahead and say your prayers
    There are 60 shotgun shells
    Built into the exit stairs

    The basement's filling fast
    My timers running down
    A cloud of natural gas
    To spread you around town
    >> Monk 04/10/11(Sun)01:43 No.14540767
         File1302414229.jpg-(170 KB, 1026x770, 1300751805296.jpg)
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    I'm surrounded by gays? I ain't even mad.
    You've got your god? Good for you I'm glad.
    Cause when I take the field you better pray
    Cause I'll fuck your ass hard and I'm not even gay.
    You like little boys? Well good for you!
    Your god may support you but I'm a Jew
    With theses fists of fury I'm hell-a moxie
    So awesome as is don't need a god for proxy.
    >> Monk 04/10/11(Sun)01:58 No.14540899
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    On a side note, since my DM challenged me not to be a weaboo monk I play a beat-boxing, freestyle dancing monk who goes into combat rhyming. I do the windmill as a whirlwind attack and am a total jolly African American, eating 'fired' chicken and watermelons, with a weak spot for dem elf women.
    >> Wasp Clan Represent 04/10/11(Sun)02:01 No.14540938
    Y'all motherfuckers arguin' about the d20
    Y'all suckin' cocks, why argue how many?
    Rollin' 20s is shit for Rank One PCs
    My dice are exploding, Tsuruchi MC

    Swords are nice if you like dying in fear
    But it's bows and arrows that I hold most dear
    Difficult terrain is a friend, not a foe
    Keeps me making pincushions out of you boring-ass trolls
    >> Monk 04/10/11(Sun)02:15 No.14541084
    You've got a complex, you think you're god?
    Say that again? Sounds a little odd...
    Without a playa what then would you do?
    Sit around day sniffing your poo?

    You look at me, I look at you
    What would Ash be without Pikachu?
    You think you're controlling, you think you're all that?
    You think you're so cool cause you wear the DM hat?
    Well you're just a tool for my enjoyment
    I don't DM cause I have employment
    I fulfill your desire to have meaning in life
    In this relationship I'm husband and you're wife.
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)02:17 No.14541102
    You say you're a wasp?
    nah more like a fly.
    I pack DDT so you know your gonna die.
    I'd so go back home, but it was probably destroyed by a tsunami.
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)02:18 No.14541111

    Bows and Arrows? What are you a bitch?
    It only takes one polearm to wreck your shit.
    Fuck even those Unicorn women can rape you.
    Worst part is you know that it's true.
    Spinning Defense and a Halberd is all that I need.
    Or maybe some Deflect Arrows and I'll eat your ammo feed.
    And once I get up there, we all know its over.
    Your entire clan will be more rare then a fourth leaf clover.
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)02:19 No.14541117
    Dude, too soon.
    >> Monk 04/10/11(Sun)02:25 No.14541180
    I liked the four leaf clover bit, then the quadriple-get made it just delicious.
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)02:26 No.14541183
    If this were pokemon I would be packin heat
    Winning matches with bullets would be pretty sweet.

    I don't wear some hat, I'm a boss, it's a crown
    without me all you would ever do is sigh and frown.
    Lets be honest if I weren't running shit all you would have is your work week.
    You have no relationships you fuckin aspie.
    >> Wasp Clan Represent 04/10/11(Sun)02:27 No.14541200
    You're funny, pal, acting tough with a spear
    But the difference in power could not be more clear
    One Void Point for a shot that cannot go wrong
    Called shot to the face and that's it, so long

    Making jokes about a tsunami is all kinds of wrong
    And I'm pretty sure the Mantis are more like Hong Kong
    Or maybe Korea, I'm never quite sure which
    But wherever they're from they'll make you their bitch
    >> Gary Oak 04/10/11(Sun)02:38 No.14541293
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    I've humored you enough; your point is invalid.
    Just like you; your brain's like salad.
    You're going meta, when this battle is in game
    I expected bet'a, but you're all lame.
    I'm not even arguing as a monk but as a playa,
    I'm done with you Ash, Smell ya lata~
    >> MC OGM 04/10/11(Sun)02:39 No.14541295
    Well monk, you're shit was honestly pretty funny, some good laughs. But I'm tired and I gotta get up early tomorrow, so I'm calling it a night. And the whole thing about actually playing a beat boxing monk, thats awesome. Sounds like it would be a fun campaign.
    >> MC OGM 04/10/11(Sun)02:40 No.14541313
    Shit I didn't see that when I posted about being done, either way, I'm out, congrats.
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)02:44 No.14541345
    Warriors, torchbearers, come redeem our dreams
    Shine a light upon this night of otherworldly fiends
    Odin's might be your guide, divorce you from the sane
    Hammer's way will have its say, rise up in their name

    Oh, Memory and Thought
    Jet black and clawed

    Children of the Elder God
    Scourge of light upon the dark

    Scratching hag, you can rake your claws and gnash your crooked teeth
    You've taken slaves like ocean waves, now feel the ocean seethe
    Father Thor, bless this war, between the dark and light
    In their songs let their wrongs bring dissolution's night

    Oh, Memory and Thought
    Jet black and clawed

    Children of the Elder God
    Scourge of light upon the dark
    >> Li'l Tricksta 04/10/11(Sun)02:48 No.14541378
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    Hey /tg/, it's time to blow your mind,
    i'm the arcane trickster with the wicked magic rhymes.
    i'm gonna use my arcane tricks and my plus ten to linguistics;
    we're goin' on a journey, come with me across the Styx.

    down into Hell where I'm castin' a spell,
    a bullet through your mind when I fire my shell.
    somatic components- they ain't got shit on me
    cause I can use Still Spell and it's mothafuckin' free.
    >> Monk 04/10/11(Sun)02:49 No.14541384
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    I'm glad you enjoyed it.
    I too had a good time
    You did well yourself
    Against my onslaught of rhyme.

    So peace out my brotha.
    >> Li'l Tricksta 04/10/11(Sun)02:54 No.14541415
    well dammit,
    are you kiddin me?
    am i just too late?
    I was cookin up more rhymes
    and damn, son, they're great

    I wanna use my rhythm
    and my unmatchable wit
    so please just be trollin
    when you're callin' it quits

    Let's keep this shit goin'
    slap some lyrics on this thread
    cause if you don't then i'll be pissed
    cause this can't end up dead.
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)02:54 No.14541420
    monk fucking won
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)02:55 No.14541435

    Obviously 3.5 and Pathfinder had it all wrong. Monk had Bardic Music.
    >> Li'l Tricksta 04/10/11(Sun)02:56 No.14541443
    hey man now don't disrespect
    we got lots of rappers here
    if you wanna pick the best
    enjoy 10d6 straight through your ear

    cause I got sneak damage dice bonus
    all up on my spells
    and if you causin a ruckus,
    then i'll be sure to feed you hell.
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)02:59 No.14541468
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    Fuck man, can't you see I'm all tired and shit?
    I've been at it all night and it's time to call 'quit'.
    I've been bashing the best, now I need some rest
    So look to another for your rhyming battle quest.

    >> Li'l Tricksta 04/10/11(Sun)03:01 No.14541481
    well damn, i guess that's it
    i guess the rhymes are really done.
    damn, now I'm straight upset
    cause I missed out on all the fun.

    the monk's fists are all sore,
    and the slinger's broken his gun
    the samurai's blade is broken,
    my spot check for rhythm: rolled a natural one.
    >> MC OGM 04/10/11(Sun)03:07 No.14541538
    Monk, I lied, I'm back for one more,
    But this time I'm not here to even up the score.

    It's to tell these bitches that monk won you can't dispute it.
    Hell he gained a follower without even taking leadership.
    He's a level one bard who can just barely spit,
    but he knows following Monk he'll learn some sick shit.
    He used to think he was the boss, orchestrating from behind his DM screen,
    Now he's gonna rep the d20 rap scene.
    Enough of this high and mighty talk.
    He's gonna try to make it as a player, learn to walk the walk.

    This battle has inspired me. I'm gonna play a battle rapping bard.
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)03:08 No.14541549
    Archive thread?
    Archive thread.
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)03:09 No.14541558
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    There's a saying out west
    where we straight deal with guns
    "Spare no man your best
    and give no donkeys to nuns"
    I highball and quickdraw and lay raw on all ya'll
    so stop and take count, keep your eye on the ball
    Did he fire five rhymes or six,
    And did he take any risks
    to put fifty men down or to play any tricks?
    Fuck that, Blat Blat
    We only know the true way
    When two men get pissy in the middle of day
    High noon, half past, in the street, dead last
    One man's a winner and the other is grass.
    Light a stogie for the law and take in all that funk
    because "AAAaaAAAaaAAHH", feeling lucky punk?
    >> MC OGM 04/10/11(Sun)03:10 No.14541565
    Indeed this should be archived
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)03:20 No.14541671
    I really want to play a badass monk now next game.
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)03:22 No.14541695
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    thread was fun while it lasted guys.
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)03:39 No.14541856
    noone wants to fight you man

    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)03:46 No.14541918
    Just go to bed
    you won
    thread's dead
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)04:02 No.14542014
    Where's the thread is archieved? I can't find it on suptg.
    >> MC Necro 04/10/11(Sun)04:13 No.14542084
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    Want someone to fight
    Well, my rhymes are tight
    So will you keep on rapping tonight
    Or give up in fright
    I'm a sight to behold
    Don't call me old
    My passion be burning cold
    And my soul long sold

    You'll soon find I'm a lyrical mastermind
    Years ahead of my time
    So I hung around a little longer
    Magic got a little stonger
    year after year
    Until I was here
    No mere necromancer, but a necromaster
    The ultimate caster
    I'm a fireball blaster
    An unnatural disaster
    You might be fast, but with timestop I'm faster
    You use kung-fu, to my etheral laughter
    I'll reach out and touch you, force an save or die
    You try to reply, but bitch, this lich can fly
    And rain negitive levels from 40ft in the sky
    Or maximised fireballs, just to watch you fry
    . . . As in small fry

    Because you're outclassed, caster classes be better
    You can punch real fast? Well, I can do that better.
    Baleful polimorph you, into whatever shape I find fitting
    You'd make a better throne, you're only good for sitting
    Or make you my minion, but forget dominate
    I'd much rather resurrect your ass, to serve what you hate.
    >> MC Necro 04/10/11(Sun)04:28 No.14542215
    MC Necro
    Once again, too slow
    Was coming on next, yo
    But everyone had to go.
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)04:32 No.14542262
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    Well hello there good fellows!
    I'm a Kobold and I...
    I've got...

    No, wait, let me start again.

    Hey there dudes I'm here to rock!
    I'm a Kobold and... I've got a cock?

    Wait wait wait, one more try, one more try.

    I'm an awesome Kobold, yo yo yo
    I kick ass yo yo yo
    Rhyming's easy bitch, yo yo yo
    You gettin' fucking TOLD, yo yo yo.

    This ain't too hard.
    >> Monk 04/10/11(Sun)04:35 No.14542306
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    Cool you can fly but I can jump,
    You think you're all cool but just a chump
    You bring back the dead? That's cool a'ight.
    Try ta bring back yourself after we fight.

    Just try to hit me, beat my saving throw
    But they're damn high; I told ya so bro.
    Improved evasion; I'll halve your shit
    Look at your face as you throw a fit
    My soul is a diamond so just watch out
    Add anti-magic field and you start to pout
    My body purely timeless my blows unarmed
    You better move quick to go unharmed
    Now I'd say I'd kill ya, but you're already dead
    So I'll beat you senseless till you give me head.
    >> MC Necro 04/10/11(Sun)05:14 No.14542635
    Nothing you can do will keep this lich down
    I'll be back sooner or later, to terrorise your home town
    Just try to keep up with me you weaponless clown

    I just need to keep casting til you roll a one
    I can do this all day son, so I'll have some fun
    This face be emotionless, I must confess
    Even when I do miss, I'm not any ness
    My pokerface is stuck in a permanent grin
    I don't need anything else, coz I *always* win

    Your soul is a diamond? I used to keep mine in one too.
    But your purity and will won't help when I'm coming for you.
    Lock your soul in a box, so I can hear it's agonized screams
    As your body dances to my beats and my dreams
    And your mind, seperated, comes apart at the seams
    Coz this is what I do with Lawful adventuring teams

    Anti-magic field, you think that will stop me
    I've taken levels in four martial classes
    Did lessons from Weaboo Fightan' Magic, got 4 flawless passes
    Because I love a good book, and I love to show up you cattle
    So this multi-class pro has levels from the tomb of battle
    I'm the undead who'll leave suckas rhymeless
    Because I'm the one who is truely timeless
    And remember that when you're fighting old age
    Forget fighting with your hands, when you can be a sword sage
    I'm crusading for a new world, one without life
    Took a dip in warblade, to get better with a knife
    But I can rock any weapon, from nun-chuk to scythe
    Coz i've been practicing long and hard, in my living afterlife.

    Once again you're getting all homo-erotic
    I thought life wanted to procreate, makes me sick
    Only head you're getting is your own, removed from your neck
    Coz my wit be sharp like my skills, you better check
    But why should I go and fight you alone?
    Flanking bonuses from Weights, holding you prone
    And as you struggle I'll give you the bone
    Through your pure heart, as I wait for the tone.

    MC Necro and DJ Bones up in this Lich.
    >> Travelling Wordsmith 04/10/11(Sun)05:26 No.14542712
    >this thread

    A picture won't do so I'll spit out a rhyme, a line
    I gotta say my /tg/ bros are blowin' my mind
    Some people might get jelly 'bout the plays you create
    But you've stuck it to 'em dudes, we know haters gonna hate
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)05:40 No.14542808
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    You don't know your classes, a monk is Timeless
    Read with some glasses, Mr. Lich rhyme-less
    I'm no mortal, nor longer a human
    Just a fucking monk with my fists a zoomin'
    Take all your training, through an infinity of death
    But don't be complaining when you run out of breath
    A jack of all trades, maybe master of some
    You take what you need, I only need one.
    Your magic gone, we can fight by arms
    Hope you don't mine my +10 to disarms.
    My unarmed strikes, adamant, lawful, ki
    When I pwn your face don't look at me.
    You took all these classes but them all for naught
    In dying you realized against a monk you fought.
    No sword is faster, nor magic more potent
    I break your body like a cheese lured rodent

    You can run but I'm much faster
    You can fight by arms, but I am master
    Your magic gone you're set for disaster
    I'll grind your bones up into plaster
    >> MC Necro 04/10/11(Sun)06:37 No.14543076
    You're no monk, but a rouge, stealing my rhymes
    Don't worry, I'm flattered, it happens sometimes
    What was that troll back in the days of 3E
    That's right, it was that monks are OP
    It's funny coz your class can't do anything as well as me
    You turn up, I've prepared a contingency
    The floor is now lava, as far as you can see
    I can fly, so it's ok for me
    But jumps need to land,
    And into death's hand
    You fall
    Like a paladin
    And then I win

    Now you say you're bringing anti-magic orbs
    And that all my magic, it just absorbs
    But if you get within range I'll be surprised
    Because I have a plan: It's simply surmised:
    Raise Family, it's a brand new spell
    I think you'll like it, it's rather swell
    It's effect, if you couldn't tell
    Is bring back your family, and their family as well.
    After a healthy dose of repeating recursion
    We find the effects, of my little excursion
    To your mother's cemetery
    Now you see
    We find that we're all inter-related
    There's the cousins you loved, and the ones you hated
    But all of them are walking again,
    Along with flesh golems, the size of big ben.
    It's a bonafide omnicide, take a side, step inside
    Kick back, relax, and eventually, enjoy the ride
    Coz I'm illin' and chillin' like the villin' I am
    Hero Killin' and blood spillin' coz I don't give a damn
    You think you have it all in the physical arena
    But I've got minions who are by far much meaner
    Sure, your moves might be picturesque
    Meet my mount, a re-animated tarresque
    >> Monk 04/10/11(Sun)07:06 No.14543189
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    Oh I'm the rogue, but you need tricks to endure?
    With flying, lava, and animation of family obscure?


    Sorry for the godmod (I wanted it to be something of a bang), I have to stop now, it's too late/early man. Good job though, pretty sick rhymes bro.
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)07:08 No.14543196
    DJ Phylactery
    Where could he be?
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)07:13 No.14543223
    All brothars in the house, let me tell ya, let me tell ya what happened in teegee in days that go by.
    First they came for the Wakfu,
    and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Wakfu fan.
    Then they came for the Touhou, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Touhou.
    Then they came for the X-Com, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a X-Com player.
    Then they came for Grey Knights and there was no one left to speak out for me.
    Yo, motherfucka!
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)07:21 No.14543263
         File1302434512.jpg-(123 KB, 1036x1500, 1301504526848.jpg)
    123 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)07:29 No.14543299
    I ain't no MC, but it seems to me,
    The monk beats the lich quite easily.

    He's got no fear and in lava he skips,
    Whilst on the microphone you have no grip.

    Now I ain't no MC, this rap is foreign to me,
    But even a white dude can see a fatality!

    You are done, you quit, you done checked out,
    Clearing the field for the monk's victory shout!
    >> Anonymous 04/10/11(Sun)07:44 No.14543376
         File1302435889.jpg-(105 KB, 809x988, Kobold_Kommando_2_by_Commissar(...).jpg)
    105 KB

    Get the fuck outta here, you're a disgrace to my race
    move your bitch ass over, here's a true rappin' ace
    Hatin' on the bugbears, they're suckin' on my mace
    Bitches know my name from prime to interplanar space

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