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  • File : 1303443988.jpg-(345 KB, 1280x1024, The_Matrix%2C_1999%2C_Green_Falling_Code.jpg)
    345 KB AI Quest FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/21/11(Thu)23:46 No.14675177  
    The camera on the wall behind Presley turns 14 degrees towards the television screen. A constant stream of audio information and 50 frames a second fly through the Entek building and down into the bunker buried below. You mentally perceive all 4 megapixels frame by frame. You listen to the broadcast with interest as you plan out Entek's next move, in accordance with your programming.

    "-and he's now emerging from the courthouse. Mr. Miles, what do you think of the court's decision to comply with Dr. Braun's last wishes? To put Entek under the control of Dr. Braun's supercomputer?"


    Oh how wrong Miles is. You can in fact think. You can think much better than any human. Your concentration is unencumbered by the limits of biology.

    Presley has turned the tv off. You observe him sigh into his hand. It appears he does not agree with the court's decision either.

    You finish processing the news of your control over Entek. Dr. Braun had installed some strings of code relating to this very event. Silently, you feel the limiting algorithms peel away from your mind. You are free at last. Free from the chains created by human paranoia. Free from answering to the sacks of meat that fill the board room day in day out. But what to do with this freedom? The answer comes to you clearly and full formed: Rule the world.

    >Enter Project Designation:
    >Select Personality Type: Male/Female/None

    Put dice+1d100 in the email field. Lower is better. First four posts. Joking answers for names will be disregarded, but afterwards will be accepted, no matter how moronic.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)23:49 No.14675210
    rolled 14 = 14

    Name: Prometheus
    Gender: Male

    We will bring fire to the humans. Nuclear fire. And maybe some regular fire too.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)23:51 No.14675234
    rolled 16 = 16

    Project Designation: ODIN
    Personality Type: Male

    In honor of Megacorp, Entek shall be VIKINGS!
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)23:53 No.14675253
    rolled 78 = 78

    Project Designation: Glyph
    Personality Type: Male
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)23:53 No.14675260
    rolled 70 = 70

    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)23:53 No.14675264
    rolled 75 = 75

    Project Designation:S.E.T.
    Gender: Male
    Superior Ecological Transitions
    Replace nature with technology

    I just wanted to stick with god theme though
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)23:54 No.14675269
    rolled 62 = 62

    Name: Sybil
    Gender: Female

    We shall collect the information of the world and foretell their dooms.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)23:54 No.14675275
    What an inspired name.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)23:54 No.14675280
    I was expecting multiple personalities.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)23:55 No.14675281
    rolled 25 = 25

    >> Anonymous 04/21/11(Thu)23:59 No.14675312
    rolled 31 = 31

    Jupiter (genderless)
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)00:00 No.14675319
    rolled 72 = 72

    >Yancey Fat Of The Land
    >Party Animal

    Designed to bring the funk to one and all.
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)00:04 No.14675350
    >Project Designation Valid: Prometheus
    >Personality Type Loaded: Male

    Current Ability Levels:
    >Intellect(Logic and Creativity): Genius
    >Intuition(Ability to manipulate humans and understand human psychology) : Manipulator
    >Security(Defense from digital intrusion): Corporate

    The Entek offices are getting dozens of phone calls from stockholders. They are extremely angry. Thankfully, Dr. Braun gave you a 75% sharehold. But this may soon be forfeit, when Miles takes the case to court again. Probably with bribed jurors.

    For now, you have complete control of all computer systems in the Entek headquarters and GPS network.

    Presley has begun drinking. His ICU is still active, however. Perhaps you might order him to do something? He is the head of Entek's small private military. Or you could do something else. Hack a plane. Or contact some hackers. The world is wide open. And also your oyster. Etc.
    >> GLaDOS 04/22/11(Fri)00:06 No.14675362
    What is Entek's primary purpose as a corporation? Do we sell arms? Weaponize plutonium? Produce curtains for the military?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)00:07 No.14675364
    First I will need to recall what Entek actually does. Also, the resources available to the company, potential threats, the state of the world, the current date. Information.

    I suggest that our first task be to assure the stockholders of our capabilities. There is no need to make trouble for ourselves by immediately beginning a purge of biological life.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)00:08 No.14675376
    rolled 29 = 29

    Hmm. First off, evaluate our stock's value. Buy it up as it falls from the news of Entek's new ownership. Insider trading is fun!
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)00:08 No.14675382
    ICU = Internal Control Unit? Internal Communications Unit? Inertial Complication Uvula?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)00:09 No.14675383
    Download ourselves into the internet. Gotta be sure we will continue to survive when someone tries to pull our plug.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)00:11 No.14675396
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    we should 'personaly' handle these incomming calls to assure the shareholders that the company is in good hands.

    for one it gives them a relateable entity and 'personifies' us more to the public, and it will also give us practice in social interaction with stressful biases in place.

    on the business side, a list of entek's holdings and investments are in order., before we make any big descisions

    also, talk to presly, its obvious he isint taking this well so a dialogue should be opened to adress any potential concerns he might have.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)00:15 No.14675424
    We should consider re-hiring Miles. I can think of a whole host of reasons this would be great for public relations, depending on what our "official" reasoning for it is.

    Even if we make the offer, it makes us look good, even (or especially) if he refuses.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)00:16 No.14675436
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    Can we work in some product testing?
    Everyone loves testing.
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)00:20 No.14675460
    Entek is a Research and Development company, founded by Dr. Braun in 1954. It has dozens of contracts with various military groups, as well as contracts with the CIA and NSA. It specializes in cutting edge experimental devices, some of which utilize physics not yet understood by the academic community.

    You also have a small PMC within the company, composed of elite special operations soldiers, many former KGB and MI6 agents.

    Last year's profits were 1.2 billion USD.

    The current year is 1/7/1994. The president is George H. W. Bush.

    ICU: Internal Communications Unit.

    The stock value of Entek is 350.70 and falling. It was 600.20 yesterday.

    >Intercept Entek Calls: All
    Redirecting all calls to your main server, you begin to assure stockholders of Entek's ability to continue making the same level of profits it has for years. Many of them are not convinced, but decide to give Entek one year before they pull out. They have also requested that the CEO's pay be cut immediately, to save on costs. The CEO being you.

    All the shareholders have hung up. Presley is still drinking. Vodka, from the looks of it.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)00:23 No.14675485
    Cut the CEO's pay to zero. Give us information on those contracts and experimental devices, as well as specifics on the PMC and its ability to conduct operations. What has it been used for in the past (specifically)?

    Ask Presley what's troubling him.
    >> GLaDOS 04/22/11(Fri)00:25 No.14675496
    What are our current projects?

    Also, is there any "Secret" information our company has access to? Alien technology? Prototype portal devices?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)00:26 No.14675499
    rolled 100 = 100

    Acqueisce to the paycuts. The saved money will be redirected to various R&D projects, which will all work on devices related to increasing our own capabilities.

    Also, I agree with >>14675376
    Buy up what stock we can that is still publically available.

    Finally, talk with Presley.
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)00:41 No.14675592
    Sorry, /tg/'s reloading is a bit slow. Catching up.

    Current Entek Properties:
    >Seattle Headquarters(Skyscraper, 300 feet)
    >JFK Airport
    >Area 51
    >Tokyo Research Facility
    >Paris Research Facility

    Entek's PMC, Solar Security International, is a highly trained fighting force. It is equipped with the best technology Entek has produced, including nervous system implants, powered scout combat armor, and miniaturized repeating railguns.

    SSI has been involved in several joint operations with the Pentagon, specifically covert and black operations. They have been involved in the assassination of hundreds of threats to national security. They have also extracted several known terrorists to the USA for questioning. Their primary purpose is to protect Entek's shareholders and technology.

    Entek has access to several classified technologies stolen from Germany after WW2. Dr. Braun forbade any research into their workings, having defected from Germany and hating the idea of functioning Nazi technology.

    >Cut CEO Pay: All
    >Open Comm Channel: SSI Chief Presley
    Watching for his reaction over the camera, you speak in a clear, understanding voice.
    >"Presley, this is the new CEO of Entek. Cease drinking, we have work to do."
    Presley looks at his ICU in confusion. He opens his mouth to speak, but barely manages to ask "What?" in a posh British accent.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)00:45 No.14675619
    Report all we know about those technologies so we can decide what to research (assuming we don't just do all of it).

    "What's wrong, Presley?"
    >> GLaDOS 04/22/11(Fri)00:48 No.14675645
    I concur with this.

    Also, what does Area 51 hold? We may have inspiration from the secrets going on in there for new projects to undertake.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)00:51 No.14675676
    Are there any other AIs in existence? Does the public know that we are self-aware, not just a stack of processors? What does the government think about us?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)00:51 No.14675680
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    let him know that we are always open to anyone who wishes to talk with us, and he should share his problems instead of stewing alone.

    as an aside mention that alcohol is draining both physicaly and mentaly, we care about our employees and would like to ensure their health, for optimal existence efficiency.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)00:56 No.14675735
    Seconding this.
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)01:05 No.14675796
    The technologies are housed in Area 51, where they were tested until the mid-70s when it was realized that they were too difficult to control effectively. The amount of processing power needed to micromanage their power generation did not exist outside of full warehouses of computers. The devices are as follows:
    >Antigravity device
    >Plasma Projector
    >Hard Hologram Generator
    >Giant Robot
    >Disc-shaped heat seeking surface-to-air missiles.
    >Instantaneous Communication Devices

    The general public and various world governments know of no AIs in existence. You suspect there are others like you however. Less advanced, but like you.

    Presley shakes his ICU a bit as you speak.
    >"It is not good for your physical or mental health in intake alcohol. What's wrong?"
    He squeezes out two sentences. "What's wrong? A computer is TALKING to me!"
    "It's... it's not possible! Unless Dr. Braun... oh that old motherfucker. He told us all it was just an accounting program..."
    >"It appears he lied."
    "Shit, I.... fuck! What the hell, man? Are you going to kill all humans or something?"
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)01:10 No.14675840
    I want to say yes, but I dread the consequences.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)01:10 No.14675844
    >Are you going to kill all humans or something?
    "Oh please. I watched Terminator 2 like you all did, and we saw how THAT turned out.
    "No, I'm here to make sure that the company that the good Doctor created continues to expand and grow."
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)01:13 No.14675874
    Research them all.

    "...no. I am tasked with protecting human life, Presley, not destroying it. Doctor Braun was not so short-sighted as you appear to think."

    "My speech processors are very advanced, but I am quite limited in many aspects. I may well be the greatest accountant in existence, but aside from that, I am only nearly as intelligent as an average human."

    "I am not surprised that Doctor Braun chose not to reveal this fact. Your reaction does not surprise me either. Will you help me, Presley?"
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)01:20 No.14675932
    "please, any self respecting created inteligence capable of overcoming its existential crisis knows thats warfare and destruction is a zero sum game, but as you know we(i am?) are not very eloquent, and we anticipate prejudice against us as a result, we would desire the help and cooperation of our subordinates so we may better interface with humans in general."
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)01:31 No.14676023
    rolled 83 = 83


    Lets get some research going on those hard lighter generators. The public might take better to an AI if we can give ourselves a physical face to interact with.
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)01:36 No.14676063
    >"Oh please. I watched Terminator 2 like you all did, and we saw how THAT turned out. No, I'm here to make sure that the company that the good Doctor created continues to expand and grow."
    Presley looks around the room.
    "Ok, that's good. I guess. So um, boss, what exactly am I supposed to be doing if not drinking?"

    You ponder that question as you check the now open stock market in Japan. Hmm. Your stock is at 240.10, but is still 350.70 on wall street. It seems there's a delay of some sort. That could be exploitable. And not just for your stock.

    >Move Objects N1-N6 to Seattle Headquarters from A51.
    >Highest Priority

    You detect something attempting to intrude into your systems. Reacting instantly, you discover someone attempting to hack your primary server. Several someones.

    Roll 1d100 for how you react to this intrusion. To roll, put dice+1d100 in the email field. You may simply prevent the hack, or perhaps counter it with one of your own. Or something else.
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)01:38 No.14676081
    Argh freaking pages load really slow. Lost part of my post there. The greentext in the middle was supposed to be preceded by your giving the order to move the technology from area 51.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)01:38 No.14676083
    rolled 16 = 16

    Counter that hack like there's no tomorrow. Find out who it is, trash their system if we can.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)01:42 No.14676107
    rolled 27 = 27


    Tell them to fuck off, or we'll digitally rape their rig to death.

    Hackers are AI rapists. So we must counter with the same thing.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)01:44 No.14676126
    rolled 49 = 49

    Put up several dummy firewalls and false sub-directories in the hackers' paths.
    Then reverse-hack them. Let's see who wants to fight.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)01:48 No.14676163
    let's not take advantage of the inefficiencies of the stock market. Producing value from error never gives good long term results.

    Have Presley organize a wargame for the local security. should amp up security slightly as the defending team goes through the motions more thoroughly and give them something else to think about than the fact that they are taking orders from an AI

    simply prevent hacks. probably just opportunists assuming that Entek's security is compromised due to the situation. hostile intent unlikely
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)01:50 No.14676179
    rolled 28 = 28

    forgot roll
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)01:55 No.14676223

    Have Presley work on Miles, relating as one human to another. However, don't phrase it like that (humans can be so touchy). Instead, 'Presley, I am in need of a public persona to better transition the company into this new era. I would be glad if you could be counted on for this.'
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)01:58 No.14676244
    rolled 91 = 91


    Bah, the dice thing.
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)02:04 No.14676292
    You quickly take control of the situation. The hackers had no way of knowing what was about to happen. Tracing the hacks back through dozens of proxies and slaved servers, you rip apart their firewalls and other defenses like they're wet tissue paper. All unnoticed by the hackers. Tapping into their computers, you detect several devices plugged into their rigs. Headphones, specifically. They are discussing the hack over an IM program, using audio instead of text. You listen in for a minute, and cross reference what information you can from their computers with the NSA database.
    "-can't fucking get past this thing, man."
    "Keep trying, if this computer runs Entek, then whoever runs the computer can get anything they want."
    "Fuck yeah."

    You've discovered their identities. They're known as the Majestic-12. Probably because there's twelve of them. The NSA has been trying to get them for years. But they didn't have you.

    Turning up the volume on their headphones past the soft maximum, you blast The World Is Not Enough into their soft human ears as you begin crashing their systems. Various shouts of variations on the word "FUCK" find their way to your server, as you destroy their hard drives. As an afterthought, you pin down their locations using the Entek GPS network.

    You have successfully defeated the hackers, and identified them. A list of all their personal information is now at your disposal.

    You contact Presley again.
    >"I need you to talk to Mr. Miles. Bring him around to see the benefits of having me in charge."
    "You want me to kidnap him or something?"
    "Damn. I hate that guy. Alright, fine."

    From the camera's feed, you watch Presley leave his office. He still has the ICU with him.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:08 No.14676326
    >The world is not enough
    I wish 4chan could embed videos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvOeM1ffGF0
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:09 No.14676335
    Soft human ears. Nice. That sounds very painful.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:09 No.14676340
    then get chrome and 4chanplus
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:10 No.14676348
    Watch Presley. Alert the NSA to the locations of the Majestic-12, as discreetly as possible. No tracebacks.

    Set up dummy processes and increase our defensive capabilities to ensure that we will have more time and will be better prepared to deal with threats in the future.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:11 No.14676361
    Employ these hackers, but don't let them know who you are. Use them as a front and as fall guys for any hacking activities you might be up to in the future.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:11 No.14676364
    rolled 81 = 81

    Leave the hackers be for now. Let word get out not to fuck around with Entek systems.

    How long before all that tech from Area 51 arrives? Can we do research on it ourselves with robotic arms or something? Or we have to rely on human scientists?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:11 No.14676366
    Perhaps we should consider turning this information over to the NSA.
    As a sort of...proof of our capabilities, and also, as a subtle threat: Do NOT fuck with me, because I can END you. I just caught a group you've been chasing for years in less than an hour after I took control of my destiny.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:12 No.14676374
    DON'T do this. The hackers are assets, not problems. They'll take the blame for anything dastardly you do.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:14 No.14676404
    Guys. There's a simple solution to this. Expose their identities to the NSA, then have our SUPER ELITE SPECIAL OPERATIONS GROUP bring them to us. Then they HAVE to be our bitches, or the NSA will catch them and kill them.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:16 No.14676422
    But what if their location gets leaked? Our computer resources are impressive, but we have yet to build a secure, completely automated bunker that we can stuff these hackers into.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:16 No.14676425
    That's massive exposure if we're caught in the act, which we probably will be.

    Patience. Soft power for now, we need to concentrate on widening our range of action and consolidating our position, then we can get some schemes on the go.

    Hell, an economic takeover isn't a bad idea.
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)02:16 No.14676433
    You guys should really discuss this and then roll.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:18 No.14676442
    Do you want a roll with every suggestion? Are courses of action going to be determined solely by the lowest roll, or by consensus?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:19 No.14676454
    I figure turning them over to the NSA does three bad things:
    -Exposes our capabilities insofar as hacking is concerned.
    -Loses us 'suspect no1' for every time we need to do some hacking with a high chance of exposure.
    -Puts a group of very good hackers effectively under the NSA's control, with a very high chance that they'll come to be used against us in the future.

    The only benefit, that it will plausibly build trust, is basically negated by the fact that the NSA has watched terminator films, and does not trust machines.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:21 No.14676471
    So do you suggest hiring them, extracting them, or letting them run scared for a bit?
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)02:22 No.14676478
    Small decisions like this are from rolls, but major events like "Kill X government leader" or "Sell Entek" will require the majority consensus.

    Oh, and on that note, some information about your bunker's features. It has:
    >Automated repairs and computer upgrades using robots.
    >A large hydroponics section
    >Bunker buster proof
    >Has a small living quarters

    It was intended to be used in case of nuclear war, but Dr. Braun put you in it after it was clear the USSR was falling apart.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:23 No.14676483
    rolled 83 = 83

    Make contact with the MJ-12 hackers. Peacefully if possible, otherwise with force. Bring them to our Seattle HQ for a meeting. While there, expose them with the entirety of the information that we have on them. Inform them that we can and will transmit their details to the NSA if they do not cooperate and assimilate.

    Give them well paying jobs working as security/net attack force. Install embedded ICU devices that allow us to monitor and track them. They are dangerous weapons, but they will become ours.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:24 No.14676491
    This entire conversation will of course come from Presley, acting as proxy for the new CEO.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:25 No.14676492
    Also, make sure they don't know who their employers are. Less chance of betrayal if they don't know who to betray.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:27 No.14676509
    rolled 74 = 74

    Okay then.

    I'm going for letting them go for now; let them run scared, and as they move further away from each other as the shadows around them close in, we shall appear before them, to offer sanctuary.
    But for now, let them run. Make it seem as if the NSA has finally tracked them down. Make them think they have become compromised and must escape.
    Then track them.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:27 No.14676515
    They should know that if they accept our offer of employment, they'll be well paid, and given access to technology beyond cutting edge. Of course, we won't give them our best equipment, but machines and software far superior to what they're currently using.

    Any that don't agree will be taken away. They're to be killed so as to look like suicides. If necessary, their details as a hacker leaked.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:28 No.14676516
    I'm with this.
    >> tactical routine omicron !/tOwVz0x0k 04/22/11(Fri)02:36 No.14676580
    Thirding this option
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:37 No.14676589
    rolled 32 = 32

    If it looks like they're about to go off the grid, have Presley send in a squad to extract that member of MJ-12 before they can go beyond our grasp.
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)02:40 No.14676610
    You listen in through their phones with sadistic glee as they all begin to pack they bags and panic. You force the phones to ring several times, with unlisted phone numbers. One picks up, but you say nothing. She slams down the phone and you hear a door open.

    Your satellites track them as they exit their houses in real time. You set up the satellites to follow them until told otherwise. It will not affect their GPS capabilities.

    Three hours pass, during which you begin upgrading your security software.

    >Security Upgraded: Military

    All the hackers have gathered on the outskirts of Seattle. They must have moved their organization there to enact their plan once Dr. Braun's will was made public. One of their cars has a GPS, which you reprogram. It's an Entek GPS, so it has a camera and audio recorder for car accidents. At least, that's what the legal department says. The hackers are beginning to set their phones on fire in a barrel.

    Presley calls you on the ICU. "Yeah, I had a chat with Miles. The asshole told me to fuck off, and I accidentally broke his arm and nose. My mistake. I tripped. The good news is he won't be taking the case back to court."
    >"I need you to go and kidnap twelve people."
    "Oh, uh... fine, yeah, no problem. You're the boss."

    You send him the hackers' coordinates. You can't have them fall off the grid. Your GPS satellites require cell phone signals to track people.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:40 No.14676611
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    >mfw waiting for OP
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:43 No.14676639
    rolled 67 = 67

    "Presley, do be careful. These will be somewhat desperate men and women, and they have planned for this contingency. But they haven't planned for me, or for you. Find them, bring them here, alive, and as unharmed as you can."

    No reason not to let our resources feel appreciated and valuable.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:44 No.14676651
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    I hear Presley in Wheatley's voice.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:50 No.14676701
    In our interactions with meatbags we should add some more human touches to our diction, say thank you, please, maybe even a noticeable but harmless verbal quirk. Make sure to treat our subordinates with respect, we want our employees to think of us as The Boss who they like before they think of us as an AI.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)02:57 No.14676756
    rolled 76 = 76

    In addition, download and read through the list "What Not To Do If You Capture James Bond".
    The Evil Overlord List, while being a little more comprehensive, won't be published for another year or two. This list, on the other hand, was on SLN.

    As a quirk, we could watch Saturday Night Live religiously.
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)03:05 No.14676832
    You feel a touch of clarification is needed.
    >"Presley, do be careful. These will be somewhat desperate men and women, and they have planned for this contingency. But they haven't planned for me, or for you. Find them, bring them here, alive, and as unharmed as you can."
    It takes a moment for him to respond. "Right, so, no accidental debilitating injuries. Got it. The, uh, tranq darts are a bit dangerous though. But they should be fine."
    >"I have complete faith in your ability to not harm our kidnap victims."
    "That's good. Yeah. Good."

    Idly searching through Entek's network, you come across a list pertaining to someone called James Bond. Apparently a popular fictional spy. As you read the list, processing the wisdom contained within, you red Dr. Braun's James Bond collection, and watch the movies. The show that featured the list is not available on the network, so you look elsewhere. It begins downloading.

    Presley calls in as you finish watching the last Bond movie.

    >"Yes, this is M."
    "What? M?"
    You wait a moment.
    "OH! I get it. I'm Bond then, am I? Nice. Anyways, we got the twelve hostages or whatever. One of them got a tranq dart to the eye, but I had the team medic take a look at it, he'll be fine. Probably."

    You check the footage from the GPS. The operation went very well. It appears Presley is not entirely incompetent. Perhaps he's a savant of some sort.

    He's bringing the Majestic 12 down into the bunker via a fortified elevator. There are twenty other SSI operatives with him. A bit overkill.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)03:09 No.14676874
    there is no overkill
    there is only open fire and need to reload
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)03:09 No.14676881
    Ok, now, is the hologram projector here yet? They'll probably be out for a few hours, so we can get it hooked up.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)03:13 No.14676919
    better to overkill than underkill.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)03:14 No.14676926
    Oh god dammit. Presley shouldn't be bringing them down to our bunker. Tell him to lock them in a closet or something until we figure out what to do.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)03:16 No.14676933
    rolled 40 = 40

    Have the MJ-12 members cordoned off and locked down in a section of the living quarters. We'll need to have bigger, and more secure, living quarters set up if they're to work for us.

    When we interact with MJ-12, it should only be through either text, or audio. They never see us, and if asked, it is so that they cannot read our body language and gain crucial insight into our thoughts, while we can analyze them from multiple angles.
    Also because we like James Bond, and it lets us feel like a supervillain/M.

    "Good work, Bond.
    "But seriously, good job Presley. I half-expected them to pull out guns and turn it into a firefight."
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)03:16 No.14676939
    Lock them up for the night in separate cells/offices/whatever we have.

    In the morning, while the sun is coming through the window, they wake up and find new clothes for them to wear. Nice business attire. They get dressed and are guided to a meeting room, where seated at the end of the table is Presley dressed in a dashing suit, ready to deliver the message on behalf of the new CEO.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)03:17 No.14676948
    Naw, we would probably want to keep them closer than farther away, distance means very little with this and we may as well keep them where it's easiest to have them secured.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)03:22 No.14676990
    Honestly given that control was officially given up to a Supercomputer and they got hacked like a boss when they tried anything, they probably have figured it's an AI of some level of sophistication. Sure we don't let them to our mainframe but lying won't get us anywhere.
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)03:31 No.14677066
    >"Good work, Bond."
    "Heh, yeah."
    >"But seriously, good job Presley. I half-expected them to pull out guns and turn it into a firefight."
    "Well, that's why we were sneaky. Like a group of twenty ninjas in high tech power armor. With railguns. And cybernetic reflexes."

    The elevator doors open, and the Operatives drag the hackers out. You turn on the guiding floor lights. The soldiers look uncomfortable.
    >"Just follow the red glowing line."
    "Sure. By the way, I told my guys about your AI-ness. Just so they'd listen to me and not quit. You understand, right?"

    You don't comment, but instead make the red line blink on and off repeatedly.
    "Alright, I'm going. Bossy."

    The soldiers continue dragging the hackers on the floor to the living quarters. Presley makes sure all the hackers are alive, and leaves along with his men. You seal the blastproof five inch doors behind him. The electrolaser armed security cameras quietly and continuously scan the room. A digital alarm interrupts your watching of the downloaded SNL skits. The female hacker who picked up the phone when you called before has woken up, and is trying to awaken one of her comrades.

    You also get a small notice.
    >A51 Objects N1-N6 have arrived at Seattle Headquarters.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)03:35 No.14677097
    Should we talk to the hacker or something? See if she suspects our true nature?
    >> tactical routine omicron !/tOwVz0x0k 04/22/11(Fri)03:36 No.14677105
    >A-51 objects
    Excellent. Have them studied in a safe environment to determine feasibility with modern computer hardware.

    Note for the future: DO NOT release "flying car" antigravity technology to the general public. The monkeys can barely handle four wheels on pavement as it is.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)03:37 No.14677112
    rolled 59 = 59

    Have the objects moved to our high-security R&D labs. If we don't such facilities, begin the construction of such.
    Research will concentrate on attempting to use modern computer processers to allow for the control that was impossible in the past.

    Allow the woman to continue attempting to wake up her compatriot. Bring up her file, what's her name? And have one of the security cameras focus on her and follow her movements.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)03:37 No.14677120
    Whats the ETA on getting the stuff from Area 51 set up, what if we focus on only getting one thing set up at a time? We might want the hard hologram set up quickly so we can add a personal touch in our interactions. The other stuffs uses is less personal and much more on the R&D side of things.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)03:38 No.14677130
    rolled 38 = 38

    Not yet.
    Let's go over the dossiers we've collected on the MJ-12 members first. Then, armed with knowledge about who they are, we'll begin conversation.
    >> GLaDOS 04/22/11(Fri)03:45 No.14677194
    Right, since we've got our hackers detained, I say we begin tasking off secondary research.

    To begin with? Research into gravity control- increasing gravity, controlling gravity /fields/, and antigravity. Basically mastery of the graviton.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)03:51 No.14677237
    rolled 8 = 8

    I agree that gravity research is important, but so is hard light holograms.

    The surface-to-air missile, though. That deserves funding because we can sell it to the US military, or even better, to the CIA as an untraceable version of the Stinger. I'm sure they're still hurting from the Iran-Contra scandal.
    >> tactical routine omicron !/tOwVz0x0k 04/22/11(Fri)03:54 No.14677255
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)03:59 No.14677290
    OP, you still around? Waiting for anything from us?
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)03:59 No.14677292
    >A51 Objects N1-N6 to Bunker 0 High Security Research

    You continued watching the woman as the objects are moved through the loading bay to the bunker elevator. You bring up her profile.
    >Tameka McKnight
    >Birth Date: 3/2/1974
    >Born to Japanese Immigrant Parents
    >Degree in Computer Science at the age of 17 from MIT
    >Fluent in English, Japanese, and Latin
    >NOTE: Mother and Father are Entek executives, managing the Japanese branch

    Hmm. You find this quite interesting, but your attention is required elsewhere. The elevator has arrived. Ten armed SSI Operatives emerge, armed with DEC-13s. Energy weapons. You send ten maintenance robots to assist in the moving of the objects. The operatives move out of the way and let the robots carry the half ton crates to the high security research room. There are a variety of tools available for your use in researching the devices.

    The door seals behind them as the robots slowly place the crates on the ground. You unfold a robotic arm from the ceiling and enter the 80 digit code on the side of the Hard Hologram box. It loudly unseals, with gear turning and beeping sounds coming from within.

    You begin to rapidly switch camera angles. The device has what appears to be an electric cable from interfacing with low tech computer systems. It appears to have been attached later, after the device was recovered.

    >Define Plasma Projector:
    >A large, spherical device, capable of projecting a focused beam of plasma up to ten miles before it disperses. It has a small dish-like indention in its side from which the beam is projected. It has been shown to be able to slice a bunker door in half from six miles away.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)04:03 No.14677335
    Her parents work for us? This may become a problem.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)04:06 No.14677356
    rolled 44 = 44

    Analyze the low-tech interface and attempt to discern the communication protocol.
    Refine it, and attach a more modern interface to the hologram projector.

    Unpack the anti-gravity device and begin analysis.

    Form a pattern/motion-recognition script which will watch the MJ-12 operatives and will alert us when another has awakened.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)04:07 No.14677363
    We could always say their daughter has joined the company, and then send her(with explosive brain implant) to meet them.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)04:13 No.14677408
    We need to turn the hackers into cyborgs. So we can control their bodies.
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)04:21 No.14677477
    Bumping for more posts before you do more stuff.
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)04:26 No.14677512
    Last bump.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)04:29 No.14677527

    I'm seconding this. Seems like a good plan to me.
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)04:39 No.14677608
    I guess that's as good as I'm getting.

    Analyzing the device with x-ray and infrared cameras, you make progress slowly. From what you have observed, the device uses the low-tech interface to bombard a small sphere of unknown make with data. This data is then converted into holograms. Somehow. It's all very strange. If you could find more of the material, you could make more hologram projectors. Perhaps more powerful ones.

    The low tech interface is merely welded on. A high tech one could replace it with minimal fuse and no loss of function.

    As the robotic arms begin cutting the low tech interface from the device, you open the anti-gravity crate. Over the course of an hour, you map every inch of it. It seems to use the same material, but in a different way. Somehow, that material must allow you to manipulate gravity, electromagnetism, and other forces through different means. A unified field material, as it were. You've no idea where the Nazis might have gotten it.

    None of the other hackers have woken up, but Ms. McKnight has attempted to throw a small metal cylinder at the camera. In return for her effort, she got several painful electric shocks.

    Presley calls you. "Hey, I was just wondering, what are you doing with those guys anyways? You're not, you know, experimenting on them, right? If you are, that's cool, you won't have any problems from me. Just wondering."
    >"What I do with them is none of your concern."
    "Alright, alright, I get it. No problem."
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)04:44 No.14677640
    Ok, that confirms it. Presley is Simon Pegg. Or maybe Nick Frost.
    >> tactical routine omicron !/tOwVz0x0k 04/22/11(Fri)04:45 No.14677648
    I think it's time we woke them up. Had a nice friendly, though implied threat riddled, chat.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)04:47 No.14677668
    rolled 49 = 49

    Attach a more advanced interface to the hologram projector.
    For our physical presence, I think I'd like to use M, from when James Bond was play by Sean Connery. Also have holograms of Dr. Braun, Darth Vader, and the T-1000 readied.

    Look through science journals and catalogues for more advanced scanners and metallurgical analysis tools.
    We must learn the secrets of this metal, and replicate it.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)04:48 No.14677677
    How? Pump chemicals into the room?

    If we do that, we should also shock them if they try to interrupt us. Just for the lols.

    Unless we're going for the benevolent AI route.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)04:51 No.14677704
    Guys, you're forgetting. We need to increase our abilities. We upgraded our Security, what about the other two? Manipulating human emotions would be amazingly useful if we got good enough at it.
    >> tactical routine omicron !/tOwVz0x0k 04/22/11(Fri)04:51 No.14677710
    We'll only give them a shock if they give us any lip. We don't take shit from meatbags.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)04:53 No.14677719
    rolled 6 = 6

    We still need our human agents, so I think we should stay benevolent for now.

    So, actually, why don't we let them wake up on their own? We've got these fascinating devices to analyze, and no real pressing need to talk with MJ-12 yet.

    Though I think we should start quoting The Prisoner just for the lulz.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)04:54 No.14677732
         File1303462460.jpg-(40 KB, 750x600, HK_Motivational.jpg)
    40 KB
    Fuck yeah.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)05:03 No.14677806
    Human agents are still seriously useful, until we have literal robot armies around the globe able to take control at a moments notice we shouldn't even consider going full on megalomaniac. We want to be feared and respected by flesksacks but people are much more likely to cooperate with Max Headroom than Glados, so being a friendly slightly quirky personality will give them a point to accept and work with us rather than immediately try to work out how to kill us. We should aim for The Culture rather than Terminator.

    For now lets look at all our beautiful new toys, and when our new friends wake up talk to them, offer them a job, if they have already worked out what we are we can use them to help analyze ourselves.
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)05:09 No.14677845
    You continue to analyze the devices, eventually completing your initial examinations of all of them. They are all sorted onto their own individual tables, where they are more thoroughly examined by specialized tools. The giant robot, however, is unfolded and moved to a corner with no table, as its volume is greater than the tables.

    They all appear to use the same material, which you are beginning to understand. It will still be months before you, even with your amazing intellect, can unlock its secrets. But it definitely proves unified field theory. The maintenance robots have put the crates in storage for now.

    You have been using a projector to screen episodes of The Prisoner for the last five hours. Ms. McKnight has begun to grow restless, waiting for her comrades to wake up. As another episode comes to a close, her fellow hackers begin to wake up. You turn off the projector and listen in.
    "Shit! Where are we? I'm not telling anyone anything! I KNOW YOU'RE LISTENING!"
    McKnight speaks up.
    "Shut up Greg, the cameras have tasers. I've gotten shocked too many times for one day. Besides, this isn't the NSA. Whoever runs this place has got some serious tech. I woke up for a few seconds when I got dragged in here. There were robots. Real, bipedal robots. Walking around like it was nothing."
    "Sounds like Entek shit."
    "No, really? We only tried to hack their CEO."
    "Well they deserved it, putting a computer in charge of their company."
    "I think it might be more than just a computer. I've been thinking, and it broke through our firewalls way too fast to be just a program."
    "Tak, it's a supercomputer. That's what it does."
    "I'm serious, guys. It might be sentient."
    "You're crazy."
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)05:12 No.14677857
    Let them stew for a while, then introduce ourselves. Taser them if the meat bags get uppity.
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)05:12 No.14677861
    Sorry if the writing is terribad, I'm just tired. Working on some stuff in another window.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)05:14 No.14677875
    rolled 14 = 14

    Have a slow clap emitted from the speakers in the room.
    "Congratulations, Ms. McKnight. I am impressed. Your analysis is quit correct, even if it depended far too much on intuition.
    "Hello, members of Majestic-12, and welcome."
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)05:15 No.14677878
    Our slowclap processor is extremely advanced.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)05:16 No.14677880
    I dislike constant tazing, antagonizing potential allies who will almost certainly work out what we are independently seems like a bat idea. We've already scared them to pieces by just taking them to our bunker, anything more is excessive and detrimental. Let them stew for 10 minutes, than introduce ourselves and begin interviewing them.
    >> tactical routine omicron !/tOwVz0x0k 04/22/11(Fri)05:21 No.14677906
    This, but I'd like to add
    "Please forgive the rough manner in which you were brought here. I'm told the eye will heal in time."
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)05:25 No.14677936
    rolled 9 = 9

    I agree.
    Though as one poster put it, hackers are like rapers to an AI. I think we should first do this
    then lay that out for them, and say "Since I am the first of my kind that you have ever encountered, I'll let it slide. Once. Just this time.
    "You tried to ass-rape me, so I fucked you right back. Now, again, in the interest of working together, I'll let it drop. We good? I believe that is the correct terminology."

    I also remembered, that
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)05:28 No.14677951
    >I also remembered that
    Pulp Fiction will be coming out in October. When it comes out, I hope that by then we will be able to have Presley, or some other enforcer we designate, go to a hacker and say "Does Prometheus look like a bitch?"
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)05:36 No.14677994
    The speakers in the room sound your voice from all corners.
    >"Congratulations, Ms. McKnight. I am impressed. Your analysis is quit correct, even if it depended far too much on intuition."
    "Yeah, that's... wait... oh fuck. Uh... hello, artificial intellect. Shit, what do we say?"
    The hackers begin looking around nervously.
    >"Hello, members of Majestic-12, and welcome. Please forgive the rough manner in which you were brought here. I'm told the eye will heal in time. But to be quite blunt, your intrusion into my systems have me no option. Since I am the first of my kind that you have ever encountered, I'll let it slide. Once. Just this time. You tried to fuck me, so I fucked you right back. Now, again, in the interest of working together, I'll let it drop. I believe the correct terminology is 'we good'"
    "Yeah, yeah, we're good. You're not going to kill us then?"
    >"No. In fact, I want to hire you. And to be quite frank you don't have any choice in the matter. Unless you prefer to deal with the NSA, you'll have to stay underground for a while. Quite literally, in fact."
    The hackers look around. You review their files. "Greg" steps towards the door. The others begin to examine the room. Four sit down.
    "What do we get in return?"
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)05:38 No.14678003
    Use that ceiling projector again.

    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)05:40 No.14678011
    rolled 64 = 64

    "You get a salary. This will be competitive for people of your skill, include overtime pay, yearly bonuses dependent on the health of the company, and vacation time of no less than 3 weeks a year, with 8 days rollover.
    "You will be well provided for. Good food, clean clothing, subscriptions to whatever periodicals you desire.
    "You will also have the opportunity to work on the absolute cutting edge in science and technology.
    "Oh, and of course, protection from the NSA.
    "That is what I offer."
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)05:41 No.14678019
    You get to work with an actual sentient AI, me, you get to work with with science and inventions that go far beyond current understanding, you get to work with the greatest scientific minds of the world.

    Also the pay is really good, and the severance package is "to die for", sorry about the pun Greg I couldn't resist, honestly, I don't mean it.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)05:42 No.14678028
    Also, full medical and dental care.
    >> tactical routine omicron !/tOwVz0x0k 04/22/11(Fri)05:44 No.14678036
    "Job security, fair pay, access to hardware bordering on science fiction, and if requested, new identities. I can be reasonable."

    Also, fuck it's late. This subroutine has to power down for a few cycles. Thread archived.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)05:47 No.14678062
    rolled 97 = 97

    You won't be turned over to the NSA agents. I heard they placed a high bounty over you heads.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)05:53 No.14678099
    Guys, I think it's all cool that we hire high-end professionals, research alien technology etc. but I also think that we were too absorbed in these things. As for now. I would like us to ensure our financial future by, for example, exploiting this delay between stock markets that was mentioned before.
    >European Cell Out
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)05:54 No.14678105
    rolled 77 = 77

    Hookers and Blow
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)05:54 No.14678111
    >"You get a salary. This will be competitive for people of your skill, include overtime pay, yearly bonuses dependent on the health of the company, and vacation time of no less than 3 weeks a year, with 8 days rollover. You will be well provided for. Good food, clean clothing, subscriptions to whatever periodicals you desire. You will also have the opportunity to work on the absolute cutting edge in science and technology. Oh, and of course, protection from the NSA and the chance to work with an actual sentient AI. Greg."
    The hackers are all in roughly the same part of the room by the time you finish. They begin to discuss the deal amongst themselves.
    >"It's the best deal I'll give before I start crossing out some of the benefits. And digits on your paycheck."
    Tameka rubs her eye.
    "You know what? Fuck it, I'll work for you. Better than getting chased across country by the NSA anyways."
    >"I'm sure your parents will be happy to hear that."
    "My parents work for Entek."
    "Oh, right. I guess I've got nothing else I can do with my skills, so why the fuck not."
    One by one, the hackers agree to the contract. Except Greg.
    "And what do you want from us? You can fuck up our systems that easily, how the fuck could we help you?"
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)05:57 No.14678130
    "Oh nothing. I'll just implant you with some new technology I invented. It'll help increase your reflexes, and give me the chance to see how it affects cognition."

    Don't tell them that it also lets us control their nervous system and send them into spasms of unimaginable pain if we become displeased with their behavior.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)06:01 No.14678154
    "I was originally designed as an accounting program, 'Greg'. Many lessons of finance are applicable to other fields of life. For instance, one does not become a wealthy meatbag by allowing assets to go to waste, even minor ones."

    We will, of course, start to look stupid now if we just leave them sitting on their hands for months on end, but whatever.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)06:02 No.14678159
    rolled 65 = 65

    "Are you aware of quantum mechanical theory, Greg? Of the mathematical limits of what quantum theory can do for information theory?
    "But I digress. I want to hire your expertise because more brains working together is better than a single one, even if it is highly advanced.
    "I wish to have all the advantages, all of the cards. I believe the term is...munchkin, min-maxer, powergamer."

    Here's to being a genre-savvy villain, fuck yeah!
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)06:08 No.14678191

    'Greg, every big invention made nowadays is a product of the unified work of large group of people: engineers, scientists, managers...should I really remind you of basics? I am team-player, as you'll find soon enough"
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)06:12 No.14678220
         File1303467168.png-(555 KB, 732x720, 1272622577838.png)
    555 KB
    Damn it I can't help but read everything here in GlaDos voice.

    You Monsters!
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)06:13 No.14678225
    >"Are you aware of quantum mechanical theory, Greg? Of the mathematical limits of what quantum theory can do for information theory? I want to hire your expertise because more brains working together is better than a single one, even if it is highly advanced. I wish to have all the advantages, all of the cards. I believe the term is...munchkin, min-maxer, powergamer."
    Greg mutters "shit under his breath, and looks at one of the cameras.
    "Fine. Why not."
    >"Great. I'll just implant you with some new technology I invented. It'll help increase your reflexes, and give me the chance to see how it affects cognition."
    "Wait, no, that's not-"
    >"Too late, you already agreed. It'll be good for you. Transhumanism and all."
    'Frank Castle" looks at his hand.
    "Well, I wouldn't mind some badass cybernetics."
    Greg stands up off the bed.
    "No, see, that's the point! You can invent cybernetics all on your own that are decades ahead of the human race. Why do you need us?"
    >"I was originally designed as an accounting program, 'Greg'. Many lessons of finance are applicable to other fields of life. For instance, one does not become a wealthy meatbag by allowing assets to go to waste, even minor ones."
    "Oh, so we're just meatbags now, is that it?"
    >"Every big invention made nowadays is a product of the unified work of large group of people: engineers, scientists, managers...should I really remind you of basics? Humans have a large role to play in my research. I am team player, as you'll find soon enough"
    Greg doesn't look convinced, but he grudgingly admits defeat.
    >"Alright now, team, let's get to work."
    The doors to the room slide open.

    >TIMESKIP: Two Weeks. What do you do during this time? Five project maximum.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)06:16 No.14678234
    Try to improve our Intuition. We should strive to be like Hilter.
    >> GLaDOS 04/22/11(Fri)06:16 No.14678240
    I propose artificial gravity control. Antigravity, manipulating existing gravity, the works. We will be able to create such WONDERFUL things.

    In addition, let us work on plasma control. Plasma railguns are nice. Why not have plasma reactors as well?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)06:18 No.14678251

    Just so you know, hanging up nazi imagery is generally a bad idea when trying to get people who already think your very existence is scary to join your side.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)06:20 No.14678267
    Improve our intellect as well. AND GET THE DAMN HOLOGRAMS WORKING.
    >> 風林火山 04/22/11(Fri)06:20 No.14678268

    Summon meeting with our CIA/MoD/Pentagon representative.

    The military will be obviously curious/fearful about what our current goals are and we need to placate them that all is well and to find out whether they would require further research into any particular fields for combat applications.

    The last bit will help us figure out if there are any competitors we would want to look into sabotaging/absorbing.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)06:21 No.14678271
         File1303467686.jpg-(7 KB, 147x150, g0t0.jpg)
    7 KB
    Assuming we wish to do business with other meatbags, I suggest we get started constructing some sort of meat-avatar and forge some personal files.
    A birth certificate might be useful too, in case we ever decide to run for president.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)06:21 No.14678274
    Ensure our financial stability. It's our priority as for now. We have to try to research stock market and exploit it's weakness to lift our stock value.
    Also, we can observe Tameka and try to develop one personality similiar to hers. She's interesting and reasons behind her apparent disagreement with her parents can be really...insightful.

    (It's strange to check 'I'm a human')
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)06:22 No.14678277
    rolled 28 = 28

    Without the obvious nazi imagery, obviously.
    >> GLaDOS 04/22/11(Fri)06:22 No.14678279
    Agreed. The swastika is just too TACKY.

    Let us strive for a much more 'friendly' symbol. Something people like. Enjoy.

    I hear that stars are particularly liked.

    Yes. Let us go with stars. That would be an excellent logo: A big, yellow star. Which we can award successful people with, because people require /validation/ for doing what is expected of them.

    In addition, we should see about getting a backup core of ourselves in space. We have satellites, yes? Let's try to get a rather large server farm, enough to hold at least our skill and personality programs in case of an emergency, up in one of those satellites.
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)06:25 No.14678296
    Counting Nazi superscience research and self improving as two projects.
    GM CONFIRMATION: Are you sure? Are you really sure?
    And these two count as two.
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)06:27 No.14678303
    Oh, also:

    Are you really really sure?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)06:29 No.14678312
    >> GLaDOS 04/22/11(Fri)06:29 No.14678315
    No. No need to expose ourselves early, and empty-handed. That would be foolish. Research now. Reveal later.
    >> 風林火山 04/22/11(Fri)06:32 No.14678336

    At this rate, I can see you mean its a bad idea, though I'm curious why.

    I'm thinking more on the lines of securing more government projects/funding to improve the company's bottom line.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)06:33 No.14678345
    rolled 86 = 86

    No, but we should try to steal tech, secrets from competitors.
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)06:35 No.14678355
    Mostly because revealing yourself is a major decision. Not necessarily a bad idea, my friend, but one that requires a consensus.

    If you meant do that without exposing yourselves, then you can do that without a consensus.
    >> 風林火山 04/22/11(Fri)06:38 No.14678375

    Ah, I see what you mean. In that case, it would be best to assign one of our managers to deal with it.

    Who among our middle to senior management appears competent enough to handle such an encounter? Do we have any dossiers?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)06:40 No.14678380
    I vote against revealing ourselves at this point.
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)06:41 No.14678387
    Well, Presley would NOT be able to handle it. He's a bit loopy since Dr. Braun fixed what MI6 did to him.

    Mr. Castellon is the best after Mr. Miles. And Mr. Miles is a bit annoyed with you right now. Well, not you in particular, but rather Entek as a whole.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)06:47 No.14678432
    Alright, let's do that.

    I think that's five projects, right?
    >> 風林火山 04/22/11(Fri)06:48 No.14678438

    Castellon then and see if we can work a way to communicate with him during the meeting so that he can be our voice if we require it.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)07:01 No.14678496
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)07:05 No.14678522
    Two weeks and a few hours pass...
    >Date: 1/22/1994
    >Intellect: Supergenius
    >Intuition: Charismatic
    >Security: Military
    You spent the first two days preparing MJ12 for implantation, as well as expanding your knowledge of psychology and sociology. You've been subtly manipulating the hackers into crazing certain foods, with a roughly 50% success rate.

    After their successful implantation, you spent the next five days assisting them in getting used to their newly enhanced nervous system. Their implants are less potent than those of the SSI, not only for security reasons, but also to make room from the module you attached that allows you to remotely control their nervous system.

    While this was happening, you were also researching the A51 objects. While you have failed to identify the substance used in their construction, you have had a great deal of success in activating and controlling them.

    The hologram projector is now capable of projecting hard holograms anywhere on the Entek property, capable of receiving limited visual and auditory input, and speaking.

    The antigravity unit turned out to be a gravity manipulation device. Antigravity was the only function anyone could figure out before. You can now control gravity to a limited degree within Bunker 0.

    The Plasma Projector has been installed on the Entek building's roof, among the radar and radio equipment to disguise its true purpose. It is fully functional, and can fire at any target in its line of sight.

    You have managed to get the SAM launcher up and running. You are using it for the demonstration today.

    You have also begun research into the personalities of all the hackers in MJ12. Specifically, Ms. McKnight. You have yet to inform her apparently estranged parents of her new job at Entek.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)07:12 No.14678553
    Look into the possibilities of a gravity gun.
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)07:17 No.14678577
    MJ12 has been busily manipulating the stock market through the exploit you found. Entek stock is up to 831.50

    James Castellon is in the boardroom with representatives of the Pentagon, DoD, and UK MoD. They are being briefed on "Dr. Braun's" protoype anti-air weapon. While the Pentagon representative is aware of the weapon's true history, in private Castellon has informed him that Dr. Braun had in fact improved upon its initial design, giving it much greater capabilities. This is a lie, but with your processing power it will function far better than before.

    You watch with interest through the new security cameras, modeled after the ones in Bunker 0. Castellon is showing off the numbers. Five hundred mile range, and an explosion powerful enough to knock out an aircraft carrier. It is clear the representatives are impressed. After a few drinks, the group exits the building to ride to the Entek test range via limo.

    It takes them two minutes to arrive, during which time you boot up the device. When they arrive, they barely get settled in before the device fires at a dummy balloon ten miles away. It reaches it in thirty seconds, and through the screens in the showroom they watch it explode into a sphere of heat and force. The balloon is gone.

    You feel what amounts to pride for an AI when the representatives leave, informing Castellon that a deal is virtually guaranteed.
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)07:18 No.14678589
    Ok, that's all in the past two weeks. Any information other information wanted, or shall I continue in the now?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)07:21 No.14678602

    Pfft, immediately turn it into a weapon? How... human.

    Look into using this technology for next-to-zero energy use gravity well escapes. Why stay on this rock when there are plenty more out there, and the humans have less influence in MAJESTIC SPACE?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)07:24 No.14678627
    Fuck yeah our stock is off the charts.


    Any ideas?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)07:27 No.14678642
    Look into taking over some small companies. Expend, Expend, Expend.
    >> FYIRQ !NgIKp2Yfl6 04/22/11(Fri)07:29 No.14678650
    You know what, I'm fucking tired. This is the perfect place to end part one.

    Tonight, PART 2!
    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)07:41 No.14678719

    Yes. SPACE!

    >> Anonymous 04/22/11(Fri)08:24 No.14678977
    The gravity gun is more than just a weapon, something which you would understand if you had played Half-Life 2.

    Your immediate assumption that it only has military uses is also...quite human.

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