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  • File : 1303589160.jpg-(25 KB, 400x300, Bread.jpg)
    25 KB Entombed Vercingetorix !1oouMBUPsc 04/23/11(Sat)16:06 No.14694276  
    That's right, arrogan/tg/uardsmen, it's time for Part III of the exciting Entombed saga!

    The story so far:


    For those of you who are new to the Entombed story, don't worry! There have only been two segments so far, and it's never too late to play catchup. As usual, I welcome comments, crit, and of course, your glowing praise.

    That said, here it goes:
    >> Entombed Vercingetorix !1oouMBUPsc 04/23/11(Sat)16:08 No.14694294
    As soon as he was clear of the drop pod, Vercingetorix unleashed the energy stored in his plasma guns. Four miniature sunbursts erupted from beneath his fists. Three of the plasma bursts hit squarely on target, reducing fire warriors to bubbling piles of molten flesh and cracked bone. The fourth burst collided with a drone and dissipated harmlessly on its shield. Behind him, Vercingetorix could hear the storm bolter mounted on his drop pod firing rapidly. The distinctive boom-whoosh of the bolts' two-stage ignition was punctuated by dull crack of their explosive warheads detonating. More drop pods roared in overhead, crashing into the ground or being detonated in midair by the Tau anti-air defenses, which were now targeting the incoming pods.

    "Spirit, we must silence those anti-air batteries. Relay their locations to the Spear of Luciefer and order a bombardment."
    It shall be so, my companion.
    Mere seconds after the first wave of drop pods, a second salvo from the strike cruiser's bombardment cannon pummeled the Tau lines. Explosive shockwaves knocked fire warriors off their feet and sent the light skimmers of the Tau force spinning out of control. Vercingetorix advanced on the nearest knot of Tau infantry, plasma guns blazing.
    My companion, a transmission is inbound from a Commander Rogan of Pacem PDF.
    "Open a channel, Spirit." The Tau had begun to rally to one of their Shas'O. The squad was huddled for cover behind a Hammerhead. They fired at Vercingetorix's hull, their shots glancing harmlessly off of his armour. He retaliated with gouts of plasma, vaporising several of their number and melting a hole in the hull of the crashed craft.
    >> Entombed Vercingetorix !1oouMBUPsc 04/23/11(Sat)16:09 No.14694301
    [Ignore the page break]

    A timid tenor spoke over the Imperialto vox network. "Space Marine forces, I am Defense Commander Irwin Mogue." Vercingetorix picked up speed, bearing down on the fire warriors. To their credit, they faced him without flinching. "Our situation is dire. Tau sappers infiltrated and destroyed several ammo dumps early in the invasion. Our ammunition reserves are nearly empty. They have driven us back on all fronts."
    Vercingetorix interrupted the commander. "I have heard enough, Commander. You will muster all available forces. When Crusade-Captain Aleksos makes landfall, he will dispense further orders. I trust we can rely on your cooperation?" Without awaiting a reply, he closed the vox link. The Fire Warriors began hurling their photon grenades at him. The tiny globes burst with intense phosphorescent light. His visual inputs struggled to filter the sudden brightness, but the world had become a blur. His massive metal form blundered forward, but he was nearly blinded by the grenades. "Spirit! Guide my aim!" He surrendered control of his body to the Machine Spirit, trusting it to safeguard him, and turned his attention to the Astartes Tactical Grid map. "Battlegroup Vercingetorix, report."
    >> Entombed Vercingetorix !1oouMBUPsc 04/23/11(Sat)16:10 No.14694310

    Brother-Sergeant Filos was the first to respond. "Saint's Hill is ours, Lord Revenant. Minor resistance encountered. Brother Meten has a wound that should be tended by the Apothecaries, but we are all fit to fight." Vercingetorix heard his plasma guns firing blast after blast as the Machine Spirit guided his body.
    Brother-Lieutenant Gamedes spoke next. "Squads Gamedes and Androi have regrouped at the designated bunker. Brother Kurtin is dead and Sergeant Androi removed his helmet and was blinded by a photon grenade. The Tau have been driven back. We inflicted twenty-four confirmed casualties. We have forty-three survivors of the PDF with us. They have no ammunition, and have not eaten for days. I question their battle-readiness, Lord Vercingetorix." His body had waded into the midst of the Tau cadre and was now laying waste to the Fire Warriors around him.
    Revenant Diocles delivered his report in a ponderous baritone. "Lord Revenant, the Hammerhead is destroyed. We also accounted for seven Pirahna-class and two Devilfish-class skimmers. Revenant Horovus has suffered damage to his primary motive systems and is immobile and my assault cannon's ammunition is depleted. Crusade-Captain Aleksos will be here in two minutes thirty, and the Steel Priests will see to Horovus when they touch down. Until then, requesting permission to protect watch over him."
    While Diocles delivered his report, the Machine Spirit picked up two Tau soldiers and began to squeeze. Vercingetorix felt, with a sense of detachment, the armor of the Tau soldiers as it warped beneath the power fields in his hands. There was a moment of tension, a crack, and their armor caved in. Their flesh put up little resistance as fibre-bundle muscles crushed the life from their bodies.
    >> Entombed Vercingetorix !1oouMBUPsc 04/23/11(Sat)16:11 No.14694316
    "So be it, Diocles. I will alert you if I have need of you."
    My companion, I have filtered the aliens' light frequencies from We's ocular senses. You should be able to see once more, if you wish to take control of the body of We.
    Vercingetorix felt sensation rushing through his limbs as he reassumed command over his body. He dropped the corpses of the fire warriors the Machine Spirit had crushed and spoke through his external vox-unit. "Come, alien scum! Hurl yourselves at me. Show me your strength!" The remaining firewarriors lost their nerve, broke, and ran. Vercingetorix paused to watch as seven beams lanced down from the sky. He counted the explosions from the ground - all anti-air batteries accounted for. "Strike Cruiser, targets confirmed destroyed. Landing zone is cleared for Thunderhawk insertion."
    Caution, my companion! Behind We! The Machine Spirit's warning was urgent. It was also too late.

    Something slammed into the Dreadnought's back, and it stumbled forward. Vercingetorix fought to control his body. Behind him, he felt another impact. His remains were jostled about inside his sarcophagus. Servomotors strained against the momentum of the Dreadnought's own mass. He managed to turn his unarmoured rear away from the attacker. A third blow slammed into his left shoulder. The power field in his left hand crackled and died. The Machine Spirit's pain tore through the warrior's mortal form, which shuddered in sympathetic agony. Around him, the amniofluid of Vercingetorix's sarcophagus churned violently.
    >> Entombed Vercingetorix !1oouMBUPsc 04/23/11(Sat)16:11 No.14694324
    With cry of effort, Vercingetorix finally regained control of the Dreadnought and spun to face his enemy. A Tau Crisis Suit launched another salvo of missiles and then blasted into the sky away from the Dreadnought. Unlike the first set of missiles, the second barrage was rushed, and the pilot's aim was poor. Two flew harmlessly by, and the final shot detonated without effect on Vercingetorix's powerful frontal armour. Vercingetorix returned fire, but by then his foe was out of range. Four Thunderhawks flew through the shredded remnants of the clouds and landed in the open field behind the newly-captured bunker.
    "Damage diagnostic."








    I am sorry, my companion. I am sorry. I failed We. I was not vigilant.
    No apologies are needed, Spirit. I, too, allowed my awareness to lapse. It shall not happen again. A priest will see to our arm. And then we will take bloody vengeance."
    Crusade-Captain Aleksos's voice interrupted the conversation between man and machine spirit. "Lord Revenant, I seek your wisdom. Please meet me in my Thunderhawk. We have a planet to liberate."
    "I will be there presently, Captain," said Vercingetorix. "There is much to discuss."
    >> Anonymous 04/23/11(Sat)16:12 No.14694330
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    about bloody time, I say!
    >> Vercingetorix !1oouMBUPsc 04/23/11(Sat)16:15 No.14694354
    The text of this installment is much denser, because it's a combat scene rather than an internal dialogue scene as the previous two have been. I've always felt I do dialogue a lot better than action, so if something seems wonky, let me know.

    Vercingetorix is both a front-line fighter and a force commander, as most Space Marine commanders are, and therefore he has to juggle the duties of kicking ass and telling his subordinates whose asses to kick. If the back-and-forth between action and strategic bits confuses you, it's supposed to. It ain't easy being a leader.

    Aside from that, read up, enjoy, and as always, feel free to inflate my ego to legendary size.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/11(Sat)16:24 No.14694453
    >> Anonymous 04/23/11(Sat)16:28 No.14694481
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    Fuck yeach!
    >> Anonymous 04/23/11(Sat)16:30 No.14694514
    Oh! And I still don't like that name, but already said that in previous parts. Also.. about parts- where does the second one starts? I was like "Part 3?! How? When? How could I miss it, I have no life and lurk /tg/ all the time!"
    >> Vercingetorix !1oouMBUPsc 04/23/11(Sat)16:33 No.14694547
    Well, part 1 and part 2 were both in the starting thread. Part 1 technically ends with the line "and then he was falling."
    >> Anonymous 04/23/11(Sat)16:35 No.14694576
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    OP, you bring 40k universe into life better than most BL authors.Good amount of detail. Well told atmosphere. Very good character handling.

    You just earned a gold start!
    >> Vercingetorix !1oouMBUPsc 04/23/11(Sat)16:38 No.14694610
    I'm thinking of changing the name just because it's such a pain in the ass to type.
    I suppose I should start taking suggestions.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/11(Sat)16:39 No.14694619

    Alrighty then.. Little confusing, but more important MOAR!!! If you will post only such small parts I will find you and.. and.. I don't know.. I'll show you my tan! Ha!
    >> Anonymous 04/23/11(Sat)16:40 No.14694640
    > Come, alien scum! Hurl yourselves at me.
    > Come... hurl yourselves at me.
    > Come at me.

    >Sergeant Androi removed his helmet and was blinded by a photon grenade.
    Suck it, hatless marines!
    >> Anonymous 04/23/11(Sat)16:41 No.14694659
    I post em as I write em. I'm also working on a 15-page paper about criminals in literature in renaissance London and trying hard not to phail physics.
    >> Vercingetorix !1oouMBUPsc 04/23/11(Sat)16:42 No.14694671
    oops. been posting in other threads and forgot mah trip.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/11(Sat)16:43 No.14694681

    >> Anonymous 04/23/11(Sat)16:47 No.14694711
    Go for names of Byzantine Emperors. Justinian. Artabasdos.




    Or old Roman ones. Diocletian is a fave.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/11(Sat)16:47 No.14694721
    >> Vercingetorix !1oouMBUPsc 04/23/11(Sat)16:49 No.14694738
    > Fargoroth
    > Fargoth
    I have a feeling you and I are about to become very close

    Sorry, had to.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/11(Sat)16:55 No.14694790

    Well that's my old characters name. But probably I pronounce it differently becouse I'm a Polfag.

    Also (Homer's voice):
    'Stupid OP write faster!'
    >> Anonymous 04/23/11(Sat)16:56 No.14694794
    > Imperialto
    I'm assuming this was a typographical error?
    >> Vercingetorix !1oouMBUPsc 04/23/11(Sat)16:59 No.14694835
    I've got some old writefaggotry I can share with you if you're impatient...

    It's a bit of a wank, but I wrote it to go alongside with a custom model I made, so it's supposed to be wankish. And it's not about a dreadnought. Is that okay?
    >> Anonymous 04/23/11(Sat)17:02 No.14694860
    If it's cool - post it, but I really want moar of Entombed.

    I don't want to be rude, just love that stuff so much.
    >> Death from Above Vercingetorix !1oouMBUPsc 04/23/11(Sat)17:09 No.14694923
    Rain poured down upon the encamped men on Ptolomea. Small, sad-looking campfires sputtered among the tents, and the sounds of talk were muffled by heavy canvas and the occasional rumble of thunder. Pitiful spotlights centered on an assembly of chimeras and sentinels and picked out men working diligently on their airborne support craft. This was the night of the assault on the capital, when the planetary governor was to be deposed, and tensions were high. So far, resistance on the agri-world had been next to nil. The invading forces had suffered more casualties from accidents and wildlife than from the scattered and ineffectual resistance of the planetary defense forces. Though the city was fortified, the population had grown soft and complacent, and the hard men in the camp were confident that their coup would go as planned.

    The Imperial commissioner had been bribed to turn a blind eye to the change of government. How could he know the usurpers had been suborned by the ruinous powers? Soon, though, he would find out, and his precious world would burn. Despite the nervousness preceding the battle, the atmosphere in the camp was one of supreme confidence. Back in the command tent, the renegade commanders discussed the assault.
    >> Death From Above Vercingetorix !1oouMBUPsc 04/23/11(Sat)17:11 No.14694948
    “Damn this storm!” Commander Darik slammed his fist on the table, spilling glasses and shaking silverware, and at the same time, lightning and thunder crashed outside. His power sword, which had been leaning on the table, slid down to the floor with a clatter, its energy field dormant. The assembled commanders of Darik’s renegade regiments jumped back in alarm. “The skimmers will be flying blind in this weather and our Sentinels will be drowned in mud. We need clear skies. Greem, please favor us with an explanation. If this is a task set us by Tzeentch, why is every aspect of fate conspiring against us?”

    “Calm yourself, Commander, and mind your tongue. The Dark Gods do not take well to mockery. The skies will clear.” Seer Greem tugged at the chain linking the obsidian ring in his ear to the barbed hook in his nose. His whole body was covered in grotesque piercings and tattoos of dark runes, and his eyes glowed an unnatural pink. “I assure you, everything is just as planned. The servants of the False Emperor see this as nothing but a power play by a greedy noble. They know not the tide of blood we will unleash!” He cackled and pulled at the sparse white hairs on his wrinkled, leathery scalp. The rest of the assembled commanders eyed one another across the table. They had been lured by promises of dark power, but every glance at Seer Greem reminded them the perils of that power.

    “I’m not interested in your assurances, seer. I am interested in results.” He turned to another of the men sitting at the low table. “Captain Tallassi. Is the armoured column in order? Are your Promethium reserves secure?”
    >> Death From Above Vercingetorix !1oouMBUPsc 04/23/11(Sat)17:12 No.14694954
    “Everything stands ready, Commander. Our pilots are conducting last-minute checks on the gunships. The 3rd Light Armor is but a few hours behind us. As soon as they arrive, we can begin the attack.” Eerie blue light flashed again, followed by another sonorous rumble. The light, which Commander Darik at first mistook for lightning, continued to glow an unnatural cobalt, and then the sound of screams began to filter through the walls of the command tent. The Commander leapt to his feet, grabbed his bolt pistol, and ran out of the room, the rest of his officers on his heels.

    From the hill overlooking the encampment, Darik saw the source of the commotion. One of the munitions tents had exploded and men were frantically scrambling to put out the fires. Many of the nearby tents were burning. “DAMN THIS STORM!” Darik screamed it this time. “The lightning must have set off our Promethium tanks! Lieutenant Boltin, put out that fire! Captain Radcliffe, rally the men. We’ll never take the city with an army of corpses.” As his officers scurried to carry out his orders, a high whine penetrated the shrieks, explosions, and the roaring thunder.

    The noise grew to a sustained, steady roar as two dozen points of light leapt into the night. In the glare from the munitions fire, Darik could see the outlined forms of power-armoured angels of death streaking through the sky over his camp. As their jetpacks bore them through the air, their bolt pistols spat fire and death upon his gathered forces. He could see shots streaking from bolters and explosions blossoming from his plasma generators, and then the lights about the camp went dark.
    >> Death from Above Vercingetorix !1oouMBUPsc 04/23/11(Sat)17:14 No.14694974
    The soldiers on the ground finally began to return fire. One of the assaulting marines split off from the rest and dove directly at the command post. From behind a pile of sandbags on the hill, lasguns spewed bolts of energy at the marine. Most glanced harmlessly from the toughened power armour, but one bolt lanced through his jump pack, sending the marine careening to the ground. He plummeted toward the fortification, using his remaining jet to soften his impact, but thudded into the earth with a crash and a fountain of displaced mud.

    Tentatively, Commander Darik stalked down the hill, bolt pistol held at the ready. He motioned to Seer Greem, who had been watching the carnage alongside Commander Darik. The seer nodded and followed the commander down the hill. As they neared the crater, they saw steam and heard the sputtering whir of the jetpack as its fire finally died. Greem drew a wicked-looking hammer from beneath his robes. An unholy pinkish glow wrapped itself around the weapon, and even from a distance Darik could feel the malice radiating off the head of the hammer. Greem approached the crater and raised his weapon.

    A spray of bolter fire erupted from the pit. The left side of Greem’s head exploded and gaping holes burst from his chest. His hammer dropped from his lifeless hand, the glow disappearing as swiftly as it had come. With the whine of taxed servomotors, the marine raised himself to his feet and leveled his bolt pistol at Darik. Half of the marine's jetpack was blown away and his helmet was cracked, the eyes no longer glowing red. He removed the ruined helm, exposing his scarred face to the elements.
    >> Death From Above Vercingetorix !1oouMBUPsc 04/23/11(Sat)17:16 No.14694997
    “Surrender or die, heretic!” The marine’s voice cut through the sounds of battle and death. He strode toward Darik, casually exchanging the magazine in his pistol. Rain cascaded down his slick black armour and mud squelched beneath his heavy boots.

    As he stalked forward, he shouted at Darik in a voice that resounded like the tolling of a funeral bell, “I am Commander Altus of the Steel Revenants. You, heretic, have chosen the wrong world to defile with your tainted steps. This planet is ours, and its tithes nourish the bodies of the faithful as The Emperor nourishes our spirit. You are a betrayer and a servant of the ruinous powers. Your very life is a smear upon the glory of the Golden Throne." Altus was close enough now that his shouts hurt Darik's ears. "I am death incarnate. I am His will made flesh. Surrender or die.”

    From beyond the hill, A Thunderhawk shrieked overhead, spilling more flying marines as it spat death upon the camp below. More explosions sounded as munitions and vehicles were destroyed by the vengeful Steel Revenants. Men pleaded for mercy and died without it. The traitor commander knew his cause was lost, that his gods had failed him.
    >> Death from Above Vercingetorix !1oouMBUPsc 04/23/11(Sat)17:16 No.14695006
    Darik reached for his sword, and his hand came up empty. He could see the sword in his mind's eye, still laying on the floor of the command tent. He backed away, hoping to retrieve the blade, to strike down this slave of the emperor.

    “Lackey of the false god!” He spat at Altus to distract him, to buy time.

    “Surrender or die!” Altus called back.

    Darik lifted his bolt pistol and leveled it at the marine. Quicker than thought, Altus’s bolt pistol spat fire again, blowing Darik’s arm off at the elbow. The commander pulled a knife from his belt with his remaining hand, a bestial glow in his eyes and an unnatural scream on his lips, and charged the Space Marine. Altus fired four rounds faster than Darik's unaugmented eyes could possibly follow. There was a crack of shattering bones and bits of skull and brain splattered Altus’s armour. Darik’s limp body fell to the mud. As he surveyed the burning wreckage of the traitors’ camp, Altus smiled. He could feel in his hearts that he had pleased the Emperor.

    “His will be done.”
    >> Anonymous 04/23/11(Sat)17:21 No.14695058
    I like it
    >> Vercingetorix !1oouMBUPsc 04/23/11(Sat)17:48 No.14695330
    Bumpity thump hump slump.
    >> Vercingetorix !1oouMBUPsc 04/23/11(Sat)18:01 No.14695442
    Can somebody please upload this latest segment into 1d4chan? I don't know how because I am dumb. Article is linked invthe OP post. Death from Above doesn't need to be uploaded, because there's not nearly as much demand.
    >> Vercingetorix !1oouMBUPsc 04/23/11(Sat)18:27 No.14695716
    Final bamp
    >> Anonymous 04/23/11(Sat)20:17 No.14696891

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