This gonna be a D&D or LARP story?

>>14877949

The Colonel didn't actually hold any military rank, he was a 20-something loser like the rest of us, he just had a grandpa who knew someone up in Frankfort. Turns out all it takes to become a Kentucky Colonel is knowing a guy who knows a guy. Would have been more impressive if we hadn't been based out of Corbin, so he got kinda overshadowed. Turns out being actually alive still doesn't beat 11 secret herbs and spices. Guy had a pretty hardcore honor code in real life though, always played Chaotic Good style characters in game.

Furfriend was just a regular guy until one night we got into the truth-or-dare bourbon. For the uninitiated, truth-or-dare bourbon is any bottle you've drained 3/4ths of within the last ten minutes. Colonel had to disturb a hornet's nest, Furfriend had to tell a dark secret. Colonel got the nest by leaning out the window with a shotgun, shooting, and closing the window. Furfriend told us he was a furry. We all believe Colonel displayed better thinking in that situation. Douchemeister gives him hell for it sometimes, but we've really couldn't see telling the guy to fuck off after all these years, it wouldn't seem right. He usually plays neutral good characters, surprisingly more dwarves than animal people.

The group was packing up from a usual tabletop session when Douchemeister said he'd heard of a big LARP happening up in Pennsylvania a few months from then. He had an Internet friend in it apparently. We'd always wanted to give LARP a try, since we were the kind of nerds that picked up sticks and brooms as kids and pretended to be on epic quests. Hell, we still do that, we just do it less in public.

>>14877954
First time LARP story

>>14877956
Douchemeister was willing to pay our way past the entry fees, and we actually had more than a weeks notice this time, so we agreed. We hadn't took a big road trip in forever anyway, so this seemed perfect. Piled into the Colonel's van and headed up the road to our first “official” LARP.

We got to the grounds the LARP was taking place at, and we were pretty impressed. None of us had really been to one before, so we really didn't know what to expect. There was a wooded area that apparently went off quite a ways, a lot of local buildings had been re-purposed for the LARP. There were even some hastily constructed little houses and sheds and shit. We had come expecting basically a big open field and maybe a little foyer. Instead we got what felt like damn near a whole condensed county and town to us. It was a bit surprising.

Continue...

Whenever I find these threads the OP has already left... but not today!

Please continue.

>>14877975
We went to sign in, and get our character sheets. Douchmeister had already gotten our characters registered and set up online, so it was mostly just getting our I.D.s and making sure he hadn't fucked anything up. Our I.D.s were clipped onto a lanyard, the color of which denoted your level. Level one lowbies like us just got plain black lanyards, but they went up through all the colors of the rainbow, then got fancy designs and shit for being really high level. I saw a very smug looking guy with a huge obnoxious multicolored anime hairpeice, and a bunch of fancy shit that I figured was probably magic items. His lanyard was a light blue and dark purple mix with gold tassels, while everyone else's I saw was a solid color. I figured I probably shouldn't try to stab him right off. I joked with the Colonel that the guy looked like a Peacock.

>>14877975
LARP huh? Been thinking about trying it out again. My interest, you have it for the moment.

Also, Colonel sounds like a kickass guy.

I noticed in review that my character had a skill I hadn't bought, it let me do 5x damage on a “sneak attack critical” with my dagger. The rules counted a “sneak attack critical” as being anytime someone didn't see me coming/weren't in combat and I hit with it, unless they were in combat in which case it just did regular sneak attack damage. I asked Douchemeister where the hell that came from and he just told me “You had points left over, had to spend them on something.” I kinda wished he would have spent it on something crossbow related, but I could live with it. Turns out it would be one of my most useful skills later. Pic sorta related.

i love stories, op, continue

go on,

I'm already bracing for epic backstab

The Colonel had made us all weapons to use, as he's a bit of an artsy-crafts-y guy when he wants to be. For my crossbow, He took one of those Nerf “N-Strike Mavericks” guns, and tweaked it out. Reinforced the hell out of it because he knew I'd be dumb enough to try to block with it, and put two cute little arms on the front so it'd look like an actual crossbow. The real kicker is what he'd done with the spring. Took the shitty spring out of it and replaced it with THE GOD SPRING, FUCKER OF PHYSICS. That little nerf gun would shoot halfway across a Walmart parking lot after he'd gotten done with it. Pretty impressive for such a little thing. I don't even know how it was legal, but he got it passed so, eh. The rules for crossbows rate of fire happened to fit just perfectly with the Nerf guns rate of fire if I only loaded one shot at a time. I also got a little boffer dagger, about the best way to think of it would basically be a Pringles tube with a boxing glove on it, but littler. It was cute.

He made himself a nice looking boffer halberd, since he was a paladin of whatever-the-fuck-god-favors-polearms, in his own words. I thought it would be unwieldy but he never seemed to have trouble with it. He tried to do some bad ass designs on it but it mostly just looked like generic “runes” copied right from TESIV: Oblivion. He had to cover them up with tape since runes are apparently reserved for high level characters. Even though they don't actually have any in game effect. The Colonel was displeased. Thus was born the legend of MOSTLY COVERED IN DUCT TAPE HALBERD

I have a feeling that the story will be fake, but if it's good enough than I don't really care. Please continue

>>14878046
Douchemeister got a Wizards staff hand-whittled out of a broomhandle. Had some gaudy sequins and plastic gems on it and such. Kinda looked like it was made in the collision between a truck full of glue and a Hobby Locker. He liked it quite a bit more than he should have, really. Bits and pieces kept flaking off of it, and that actually wound up saving our ass later.

Furfriend got an axe and shield just like he wanted for his dwarf, though he was less pleased with the cat ears headband they brought out for his “helmet.” He was even less pleased when they told him they weren't joking, that was all they brought for him to represent as a helmet. Douchemeister gave him shit over that for most of the weekend. His axe was basically made like the Colonel's halberd, just small enough to be one handed. The shield was basically the lid off of a plastic tub, just fancied up so it looked less like the lid from a plastic tub. It had his characters clans insignia on it, and someone had drawn little cat ears on it. If he noticed he didn't say anything.

...continue.

>>14878080
>Cat ear dwarf helmet
>cat ear dwarf shield
>Cats
>Dwarf fortress
>this is me perfectly ok with this

OP, make with the continuing already :D
I require moar tales of shenanigans

This Colonel sounds like an amazing person.

eh weaponizes nerf guns and doesnt afraid of furries

>>14878096
Sorry, I'm going. Writing it out as I go, kinda. I am not very bright, for that.
>>14878080
We got ourselves kitted out, and walked into the area they had most of the people gathered for the announcements to start the game. We tried to mingle, but apparently being a nerd doesn't count if you are a nerd with a thick southern drawl and copious amounts of flannel. Most people reacted to us with that kind of “What the hell are you even doing here” look. We slowly realized that we were the most “southern” people there, at least that we could see. It kinda set the tone for the rest of the weekend.

They started the announcements, which seemed to go on for forever. Typical shit: We hope you have a good time, please don't beat the shit out of people for real, please respect real life property, please for the love of god don't be a huge creep around the women. They said that the over-arching adventure for the weekend was a quest to find the 8 magical pieces of the wondrous cataclysmic dildo of fate, something like that. The end of the weekend event would be a giant monster horde attacking, and the leader can only be defeated with the McGuffin. I figured that was more a quest for the higher level people that had been there before, since they said there would be newbie quests to “ease you in.” We figured that meant “nothing but newbie quests for the first weekend,” which we were fine with. Didn't think we'd really be ready for much of the serious shit during our first time around anyway.

>>14878116
Decided we'd stick together, as we had a fairly balanced party, plus most people would give us the stink-eye once we started talking. The the ones that didn't were usually already grouped. It worked out just fine since the newbie “tutorial” quests were set up for a four man group anyway. They basically served to introduce us to the quest system and how to differentiate between NPCs/players/monsters. The combat was pretty obviously skewed in our favor, with goblins and such actually jumping [i]into[/i] my nerf darts. They pretty much ignored Douchemeister, what with his squishy wizard status. If they actually did get a hit in, it was 1 damage, or 2 on a flanking or sneak attack. I know it sounds kind of crappy, but our previous experience fighting goblins involved rolling dice and getting enthusiastic, So this was actually a lot of fun!

After picking up a few random objects of no real importance for dudes who tried way to hard to sound medieval, we earned level 2 and a shiny new green lanyard. Apparently XP went on a curve. So levels 1-5 are quick and even doable in a single weekend, while 5-10 is slower and 10-whatever is even worse. The system was kinda fucked but not bad enough to set off alarms in my head. I could start seeing why some of the higher levels were so smug, they must have been working on the characters for forever.

Eagerly awaiting the next one, this is a pretty good read.

Bumping till OP Posts again....

>>14878175
MOAR

I'm intrigued, go on OP.

Also, I don't feel your furfriend deserves what's he's gotten in the story so far. Maybe that will change but he seems like an okay guy at the moment.

>>14878175

It was getting late, so we decided to hit the “tavern” for a “feast” that was actually just cheeseburgers and hot dogs. And the “tavern” was actually just one of those little park buildings with the grills in them that someone had thrown some quick walls around. In the middle of the place was a pedestal with places for the 8 color coded magic pieces of fuck we all needed to get by the end of the weekend. There were already three pieces set in it by the time we came in. If I knew then what I knew know I would have probably paid more attention to it, but I didn't see it as more important than food at the time.

go on...

You see this is why you should type out your story beforehand.
Save us all a lot of time here buddy...

>>14878267
Don't be rude; spontaneous storytimes are always welcome.

>THE GOD SPRING, FUCKER OF PHYSICS.

>>14878235
He doesn't deserve it, but we always pick at each other, it's all in good fun.

>>14878248
We mingled a bit and wound down in the OOC area of the tavern, everyone was much more friendly when they were being fed. And had taken out all their aggression on dudes pretending to be goblins/orcs/trolls. Douchemiester was trying to convince the staff that they should suddenly start serving alcohol, like, right now. The Colonel was regaling some people with the totally-not-bullshit-story of how he earned his title by saving the governor from a fire started by the Klan. Furfriend was desperately trying to explain to the person doing $1 character sketches that, yes, I know I have cat ears on but my character is a dwarf I SWEAR. Everyone was having a good time. Everyone except for that guy I called Peacock. He was a very special snowflake who had been coming to this LARP for “years.” As a “senior” member, he felt it was his “duty” to go around to all the lowbies and introduce himself, let everyone know who's who around here. (Hint: It was him. He was who's who.) Most of the other high level people were perfectly nice, if a bit elitist, but Peacock took that to a radical extreme. It was a great privilege that he would even come talk to us lowbies, because he could be doing so much more important shit. From what I saw, that important shit was trying to make sure that his party was the one that brought back most the 8 magic bits of quest. His group had brought back two of the three currently there, and he was giving a real shitty look to a level 7 guy on the other end of the room, who was rumored to have brought back the other piece. The other rumor was that bringing back a piece netted you a unique magic item for each piece. Peacock wanted those items so bad you could practically see it in the air around him. Pic related, it's his facial expression pretty much all the time

f5!
Wow btw, american LARPs are oh so very diffrent.
First LARP i went to had the following rules:
Padded/Light armor: 1hp
Chain/Brigandine: 2hp
Plate: 3hp, Immune to 1h weapons
1Hand weapons do 1 Damage, two hand weapons do 2.
No bows with a drawstrenght of less than 30 pounds.

I spent 4 months making my armor, a breastplate and a gorget. The real things, bought some second hand stuff, hammered it to fit me, rivited some straps to it so it all went together, bought a Calimacil sword and borrowed the rest.

But this aint about me, go on.

>>14878305
>inb4 you steal all the pieces and join the monsters

Bumping with a .gif

This story sounds vaguely familiar... But maybe I'm just being skeptical and every larp has the way OP rogue, pretentious douchebag, the awful friend, and the macguffin of funkilling.

>>Plate: 3hp, Immune to 1h weapons
>immunity
That doesn't fucking make any sense

>>14878356
Yeah, this story makes me think of the one about the guy who steals the magic rings he wasn't supposed to be able to grab, hides in the woods for two days, gets the monsters a better strategy to assault the high-level douchebags and wins the cute larper girl away from her jerkass boyfriend.

I think this is a different story, though.

>>14878305
When he came around to our table we decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, because hey, we weren't raised in a barn. Despite what some people might have thought. He chatted for a bit, made sure we knew how important he was, ect. He also told us that if we found one of those shards we should, you know, come show him. He'll take it to the guild and get it “appraised” for us. We told him we'll take our chances on appraising it ourselves, thanks. He told us that appraisal services are very expensive and we wouldn't have the gold for it. We told him his anime hairpeice looked like a colorful bird and that his mother was of questionable fidelity. That was admittedly a bit harsh, but fuck that guy. We know a scam when we see one. He reacted by calling us “cousin-fuckers”, then he asserted that we must be cousins. I guess the point was that as cousins we were fucking each other and then also gay so twice the burn with half the effort? We just laughed that off. Then he pulled a beanbag out of his pocket and stated that it was a spell that does 20 points in a 10 foot radius of where it lands, Our highest health was Furfriend with 13. Some of the people at adjacent tables scooted as far away from what was basically the pissed off man with the character death bomb as they could. He calmly asked us to give him all of our gold. We got robbed of our first day's earnings in broad daylight by a man dressed like a burlesque dancer.

We decided at that we were going to get one of those pieces of magical voodoo shit the next day.

>>14878380
Shit just got real.

>>14878380
Really? He did that? Christ what an asshole
At my LARP the high levels are usually kind enough to the lowbies.
Well that and no one other than big monsters are allowed to have AOE attacks.

>>14878372
Technically you should be immune to everything unless you're held down, but this worked very well for dramatic purposes. And it was a good balance thing.
Oh and "Fullplate" isn't a few cardbord boxes taped over and sprayed silver. It's actuall fullplate. I think each side hade 4 dudes each.
But nevermind my noise, i wanna listen to the story, heh

>>14878380
He threatened you with a spell... in the OOC area?
You didn't laugh it off why?

>>14878414
oh wow, you're right.
or had you guys moved back an IC area?

>>14878380
What a dick.

Shame it didn't end with everyone in the tavern beating his ass.

>>14878414
It was our first LARP. He had been there longer and people started backing away, so we had figured shit had gotten real. I'm not too proud to admit he played us like a piano.

FUCK YEAH STORYTIME!

>>14878380

Nobody thought of making the "Because he's holding a thermal detonator" quote?

>>14878422
Granted, the guy probably would have just waited, and then you would have had to get a ref for it...
But yeah. Idiots like this are why I don't LARP. Can't separate OOC and IC. Granted you get that in tabletop games too...
But that is a story for another day, eh?

>>14878428
That blows man.

>douchebag with all of the levels
>he's basically begging to be pked
I like where this is going

f5ing so hard.

>>14878380
Next morning after the breakfast/compulsory shower YES THAT MEANS YOU TOO DOUCHEMEISTER period, we set off looking for any clues that could lead us to one of those special shards of plot. We asked around in the tavern and we got a lot of “Oh, I hear Peacock is looking for that, no need to worry.” which Furfriend figured was whipped-speak for “If we touch them he will hit us and take our things.” I wish I could say we wanted to one up that guy to valiantly free the oppressed peoples and all that happy stuff ripped from that other story, but he took our shit so fuck those guys, I wanna see the sonuvabitch squirm.

>>14878476
I think I broke mine...

>>14878479
>>14878476
You really need 4chan+

>>14878490
Oddly enough I just stopped using Chrome to switch back to Firefox.

>>14878490
This. It's worth it. Also free.

>>14878495
I might as well switch back then, the Firefox one is out of date.

Write faster, you!

>>14878494
If you're using Firefox 4, get Greasemonkey (if you don't already have it) and 4chan X.

https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/greasemonkey/

http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/51412

Write faster god damn you!

>>14878530
Getting a little bit self-entitled we are?

inb4 bell air
inb4 walk the dinosaur
inb4 ounce of weed taped to the guy

>>14878477

We did a little bit of regular questing throughout the day as well, to get a bit of gold. Fought some more goblins, moved up to kobolds. Pic related I guess? That seemed kinda odd, but whatever, their world, their enemy difficulty progression. Word started coming in that more and more of the pieces were being found, and hope was diminishing on being able to rub victory in Peacock's face. We were about to give up, when we hit an amazing break. A group of guys wanted to take on a quest they shouldn't have been able to, it was a few levels too high for them and a good bit higher level than us. They figured “strength in numbers.” and we figured “Go with these guys and then shank them and take the reward.”

This quest was a huge step up from what we were doing before in terms of difficulty. I saw some of the same “monsters” I had fought before, except this time they had no qualms about actually winning the fight, and I had to basically rely on my crossbow, since they could just power through me if I tried to melee them. The Colonel and Furfriend basically had to go entirely on the defensive while Douchemeister and I plinked away at the monsters, but having the other group helped immensely. We wound up making it up to the boss encounter, with a GM hanging around because wow look how far these guys got. That's the power of having 3 healing capable members in a group, thanks to the other group having 2 clerics. We made it right up to the boss encounter before disaster struck.

I like you OP and I think you are one of the good humans as opposed to most of them. Please do continue with your nice tale.

>>14878536
Sorry, this isn't /b/
usually storytime is actually just storytime in /tg/

Also; proceed, i am waiting for flying roped dagger backstab

>>14878535
I think he's eager.

>>14878543
op, i beg you, write faster!

>>14878546
I'm not a /b/tard

/k/ommander, we have that shit too.

>>14878559
Sorry.
That said though usually storytime actually is storytime in /tg/.

Mainly because this board by extension is about stories and storytime and interactive storytime.

bumpan

don't leave me OP :(

>>14878543
One of the guys in the other party decided RIGHT THEN than he needed a shower. In the middle of the quest area. No, it could not wait until we kill the boss. There went the 4 other dudes, and our chances of beating this quest. We were massively under leveled, and undermanned. The GM offered us a chance to “warp” back to town for free, since that was such a shitty break, but Douchemeister wanted to stay. He said we only had one enemy left to kill, and he'd been running the numbers in his head, and all we'd need to do would be somehow do enough damage that he could "don't act" it and we could just wail on it and kill it before it unfroze. We were arguing about how we could possibly do that when I remembered my sneak attack critical skill. There was only one problem, the boss was in a pit that I couldn't get into without him seeing me, which would fuck the entire plan up. I asked the GM if I could just throw the dagger and he said if I did that the damage multiplier was halved. Douchemeister said that wouldn't be enough. The GM said I had to have a “hold on the weapon” for it to count for the full bonus. A plan began to form.

OCD Rules lawyers might not want to read the next post for mental health reasons.

I'm gonna be going for a bit, be back in an hour+

When I return OP, I expect to be able to read and enjoy your tale of shenanigans.

>>14878607
Dude obviously Shit his pants or something.

F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5

>>14878607
OH BOY

>>14878607
>OCD Rules lawyers might not want to read the next post for mental health reasons.

Hah. I like where this is going.

>>14878607
I think the rules lawyers would actually really like what's coming up. Completely ignoring the spirit of a rule while following it to the letter and twisting it to your own ends? Motherfuckin rules lawyer.

BRACING FOR EPIC

This story cannot update fast enough!

more OP more!

This is already turning into an awesome story, and I think I can see where it's going.

Still, I want to read the rest.

>>14878629
>>14878546

You win the prize! The prize is just more story though, sorry.

>>14878607
That's when some gears started turning. On of the gag things they gave us as part of the standard adventurers kit was some “rope.” It was just some shitty cheap cord, but I started tying it around the handle to my dagger. My reasoning was that if I have a hold of the rope then I have a hold on the “weapon.” If it was good enough for the ancient Chinese it was sure as hell good enough for me. It's a shitty metagame-y jump in logic but desperate times call for desperate ways to stab a bitch from afar. I started asking the GM if this world work and he really tried to argue against it without having to say no flat out. I was feeling pretty hopeless at that point. Then the Colonel decides to jump in and starts arguing like I wanted a damage bonus from holding the rope for leverage while swinging the dagger. He whined and talked circles until the GM practically screamed “NO! HOLDING THE ROPE IS THE SAME AS JUST HOLDING THE DAGGER!”

“So if he holds the rope he only counts as just holding the dagger normally?”

“YES! GODDAMNIT WAS THAT SO HAR- wait.”

Pic related was the face of The Colonel at that moment in time.

>>14878672
I legit laughed.

>>14878672

>>14878672
Nice.

>>14878672
That's some goddamn tactical genius right there

>>14878672
The Colonel is awesome.
And I graciously accept my prize.

Requesting this thread be archived for posterity!

>>14878696

but creed isn't a colonel

>>14878672
yesssssssssssss

>>14878705
Do it yourself. It's easy enough. Just wait until the story is done

>>14878672
Gah, I wish you'd typed this up beforehand.

>>14878714
Archive auto-updates every hour, it doesn't matter when you archive.

>>14878707
He was at some point.

The oldfag scrolls told of their return. Their defeat was merely a delay. In the time after summer posting began, when the sons of /tg/ would troll their own threads. But no-one wanted to believe that they even exist. And when the truth finally dawns, it dawns in Faggotry.

But...

There is one they fear. In their tongue, he is OP, the awesome poster.

>>14878748
Who takes 20 minutes to write one paragraph.

>>14878672
Superb!

>>14878755
Someone proof-reading it, going for dramatic effect, etc.

>desperate times call for desperate ways to stab a bitch from afar

oompa-loompa, boompity-boo
I'm bumping this and I think you should too.

>>14878672
...so did you kill the Peacock?

>>14878748
Can we not just take the board as it is instead of all this posturing one way or the other?

>>14878766
he was just being awesome, leave him alone

>>14878672
I don't know why, but he let us go with it. I dunno if becoming a Kentucky Colonel gives you magic bullshit powers, or if he just wanted to see us have a fighting chance, or if he just didn't give a shit. Probably the last one more than anything but I wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. I went around back and crawled up to the edge of the pit, finding the boss staring up in the direction we were SUPPOSED to be coming from, tapping his foot. I gently lobbed my dagger at him, and when it bopped his back I called out “Dagger Sneak Attack Crit!”

Suddenly the rest of the group hopped out from behind me, with Douchemiester throwing a “don't act” spell, but I don't think we even would have needed it, since the buy playing the boss was completely taken by surprise. It was probably a pretty boring fight to watch actually, since The Colonel and Furfriend just wailed on him while the rest of us just pelted us with everything as fast as we could. But it was a pretty damn big rush for those of us in the middle of it. When the don't act spell was down to around 5 seconds left, he fell backwards, and flipped his badge from “monster” to “NPC”

>>14878783
>The rest of us just pelted us with what we had
Lol look at OP he can't even grammar rig-wait, shit

>>14878783

POST MOAR!

pretty please?

This sounds like some trolltastic fun we'd try to pull in our local airsoft LARP.

Me: "Wait, so most of the raiders (The other player faction) are sitting around their campfire?"

GM/Informant:"Yeah."

>I have a "box of .22s" (IE, a box of airsoft pellets)
>GM tells me to use a paint grenade, and that he'd take the box of .22s if I was going to do what he thought I was.
>They don't have someone patrolling the barn they're in.
>Cue me running in, throwing my "box of .22s" paint grenade onto their actual fire, then running away.
>Paint grenade puts out fire, GM tells them that if they have paint on them, it's as per normal grenade damage
>They tell GM they used their last matches to start the fire.
>For the rest of the weekend, our faction is now Prometheus, Harbinger of Flame.

F5ing like the fucking fist of the north star!

>>14878783
where did you go? ;_;

>>14878783
Apparently, he was but a simple farmer, changed by the bandit king's evil magics blah blah now I can rest in peace boo hoo. He did mention that the bandit king didn't used to have magic powers, until he got his hands on this glowing shard of totally-not-the-thing-you're-looking for. He didn't have to tell us twice that this was our best shot at getting a shard, since nobody else had completed this quest line yet that we'd heard of. Plus, bad ass loot and a level up! Now our lanyards were bright purple, and our pocketbooks were back to what they were before. It would have been smart to cut out now and just do regular lowbie quests. I think I've already proven that we were really bad at taking the smart option that weekend.

Bump for more awsome.

keep going OP you sexy beast

>>14878833
But?
Tell me there is more.

>>14878833
oh no.
PLEASE TELL ME THIS STORY ENDS WITH PEACOCK MCFUCKER BEING FUCKED

>>14878833
We went back to the tavern for food and rest before we sought out the Bandit King's whereabouts, and who knows, someone might know where he is. The Colonel went to order the food while the rest of us basically stayed back and bragged and hammed it up over beating that quest at level 2 aren't we so great we are just so great. I never said we were modest.

Douchemeister was doing a good part of the bragging, and when the food came we kinda quit paying attention to him. It wasn't until we heard him say “...and so we beat this guy and he turns into an NPC! And he tells us...” that we realized trusting Douchemeister not to leak sensitive information while bragging is like trusting the KGB not to leak sensitive information to the Russians. Furfriend stuffed some fries into our little leak problem and The Colonel and I had to fabricate some bullshit story that wouldn't actually let anyone know anything. Almost everyone in the tavern bought it. Everyone except Peacock's little cleric friend who happened to be hanging around.

I have no image macro to adequately express my trepidition and desire for more.
Have a Larfleeze impersonation instead.
More more more more more moremoremore!

>>14878870
>Everyone except Peacock's little cleric friend who happened to be hanging around.

Oh fuck.

>Everyone except Peacock's little cleric friend who happened to be hanging around.

...Sneak attack crit to silence him?

BAR

FIGHT

>>14878887
>>14878901
>>14878905
At the time they probably did not know he was there.

Best thread on /tg/ right now

>>14877956
>Pennsylvania
Hey wonder if it's any game I know..
>>14877975
Sounds cool..
>>14877998
>Our I.D.s were clipped onto a lanyard, the color of which denoted your level. Level one lowbies like us just got plain black lanyards, but they went up through all the colors of the rainbow, then got fancy designs and shit for being really high level.
WTF is this shit?
>very smug looking guy with a huge obnoxious multicolored anime hairpeice, and a bunch of fancy shit that I figured was probably magic items. His lanyard was a light blue and dark purple mix with gold tassels, while everyone else's I saw was a solid color.
What the gayass crazy hell?
>>14878046
The Colonel gets more and more awesome.
>>14878116
Huh, never noticed it that way before, but people do seem to be caught off-guard when some accent slips, and mine is usually pretty mild.
Pennsylvanian: Biased against the South.
>>14878305
OOC area at the tavern, during game? Blasphemy. When you're eatting is when all attacks should come, just as you are sitting down.
>>14878428
>>14878414
>>14878380
Wow, what a dick.
>>14878607
>A plan began to form.
I like where this is going..
>>14878672
The Colonel is The Awesome.

Now to post this, reload the page, and see what happened next!

This thread is a prime example of what I love about /tg/. Keep it coming, OP!

this is amazing. MOOOOOOOOOORE

cant f5 fast enough!

Holy sheeeeet moar.

Also, Motherfucking Colonel seems like a personification of all awesome.

>>14878928
Awesome happened, tyhat's what happened next. Now I'm F5in' with the rest.

Bumpan

>a paladin of whatever-the-fuck-god-favors-polearms
This is how I The Colonel

Colonel manages to talk the cleric into starting a bar fight (Greedo shot first) at which point the furfriend uses his dwarven height advantage to punch the little cleric friend right in the bollocks with the force of a thousand dwarven hammers.

GODDAMNIT WHY DON'T THEY RUN LARPS IN THIS SHITTY BALKAN COUNTRY OF MINE

bump for epic.

>>14878870
Peacock's entourage consisted of random people that would cling to him that seemed to change rapidly. Except for this one Mouse-y little fucker. He literally reminded me of a mouse in his mannerisms. I made a joke about what Furfriend would do if the mouse people were invading and didn't think much of it afterwards. Until I told the Colonel and he freaked. Apparently that guy I saw was the only consistent hanger-on that Peacock had, and if he had overheard then he will probably figure it out and tell Peacock. I rounded up the boys and we put on our Peacock stompin' boots. It was open season on mice and peafowl in the tavern. And the Mouse-y guy was sitting very off by himself in the back of the tavern.

Now the tavern was divided into two areas, a small OOC area, where you were safe from harm (that part would have been nice to know the day before), and a larger IC area, where you were vulnerable but able to conduct business as your character and take quests and shit. Mouse-y guy had sat near the OOC area, but not in it. I don't know if that's because he made a mistake or was just so used to Peacock being around to protect him. Mistake either way, actually. The plan was simple, The Colonel and Furfriend approached the Mouse-y little guy and started up a conversation. Douchemiester went and made sure a GM was watching. I walked up and pat them on the back. The hand patting The Colonel was the signal to run. The hand patting the Mouse-y guy was be a dagger sneak attack critical.

Pic related was Furfriend's face.

>>14878987

This kind of shenanigans happen only in about 5% of LARPs

55% are mod wankery and high level players shitting over everyone else, 30% are normal quality and 10% are awesome

>>14878987
And which would that be, just out of curiosity?

>>14878987
Because people are busy actually shooting each other

>>14879003

Slovenia

>>14879006

It's the least shootiest of all Balkan countries

I guess LARPS are only fun when you don't care about getting kicked out but do care about beating them at their own game.

>>14879000

>>14879008

>least shootiest

>>14879000

trips and more OP

>>14878987
Because it's a shitty Balkan country. Even if you managed to gather enough people to make it profitable, some local newspaper or TV station would deploy an illiterate moron with no knowledge on the subject to make a report on it, and it would turn into a folk joke/social tragedy of the year. Not to mention all the gypsies, feral peasants, bored cops, thieves and ultrapatriots who'd start gathering for no reason and messing with the game.

We live in an area that does not qualify as civilized. Suck it in and plan your post-graduation emigration.

>>14879010
In Germany, the only things that get you kicked out of a LARP are severe enough to get you hauled with the meat wagon.

Today OP is not a faggot such is the glorious win he has granted us.

Oh my god, I'm F5ing like crazy.

Tell me you showed that smug fucker who's boss.

So to the guy who recommended 4chan+, thanks. This is pretty neat.

>>14879028
>meat wagon

>mfw I have a new name for my penis

>>14879026

You speak the truth, fellow anon

Us Balkanites should form an enclave somewhere in the civilised world

>>14879037
seconding.

Also, great story so far OP, thanks for a morning of entertainment.

>>14879026

nah, the media doesn't give a single fuck about larps in shitty balkan countries

OP do not let us down now!!!!

>>14879028
Frischfleisch wagen!

>>14879069

>>14879064

Hungary doesn't really count as Balkan

Try a LARP in any ex-Yu country. You're practically inviting extremist patriots to beat the shit out of nerds and the media companies hire psychiatrists for sportsmen to bash on video games in prime time.

>>14879000
A few people noticed but didn't give much of a shit, they may have thought that I was just patting the dude on the back and hadn't sheathed my weapon, no biggie. He quietly (as quietly as you can do something you really don't want to do) slumped over the table and we briskly walked off. We got past a few buildings and shops when we heard an over-exaggerated “My God! He's been MURDERED!” coming from the tavern. By that time we had already put a good amount of distance between us and the tavern, and the guards ran right past us looking for the perpetrator. You have no idea how tempting it was to say “He went that-a-way officer!” Thankfully common sense won out in the end. Eventually the murder of Mouse-y guy's character was wrote off as something from a guild or master assassins or something, nobody could positively identify us. Well, Mouse-y guy could, but that would be metagaming!

As we walked into the tavern, The Colonel couldn't resist turning around and saying “Ah, I love it when a plan comes together.”

Pic related

Is The Colonel's grandfather Old Man Henderson?

>>14879081
Just get some Russian reenactors for your show. Guess who'll be doing the beating.

>>14879044
...yes, because that's not exactly what our immigrants are doing, so they can enjoy the benefits of living in whatever developed country they chose to infest while still having a social circle within which they can act like howling, drooling savages. If you want to live in Norway or Canada or whatever, you go there, assimilate, and be Norwegians and Canadians. If you want to stay a Balkanite, you stay in the Balkans.

Also, waiting for OP.

People, you don't need twenty posts in between each ten minute interval. It'll autosage the thread.

>>14879086

>“He went that-a-way officer!”

Archive for future reading

>>14879097

Security services are fucking expensive.

>>14879100
Too fucking bad.

>>14879086
FFFFFuuuuuckkk yeeesss! Seriously, high five these men for us.

Saw the thread this morning before leaving the house.

Came back and see it is still there.

Its slow as hell but worth reading until now.

Good work OP.

>>14879091
Holy fuck!
It all makes sense now.

>>14879086

Sadly, when you have lordfattius the wunderlanyard and his androgynous cleric shota they'll be meta...

>>14879098

Yes, how dare they not learn to howl and drool like the rest of us!

USA! USA!

>>14879091
>Is The Colonel's grandfather Old Man Henderson?
NNYYEEEEES!

>>14879086

>A-Team

AHAHA I love this guy.

>>14879086

Props to Mouse-y for not metagaming

(Unless he metagamed)

>>14879081

depends on which part of Hungary.

>>14879128

Geographically speaking, Balkan peninsula is south of Sava river. Hungary can't really be a part of it.

>>14879086
So we heard that the bandit King's castle closed up at night, and it was getting late. We decided to just go for it, this was the last day before the final event and we didn't have much time to waste. It was time to go bandit hunting.

And now the thread has caught up th what I've got written down. I'm trying to get it put down as fast as I can but typing it up and posting is harder than I thought it would be.

We headed to where we were told that the bandit king's lair would be. It was a fairly uneventful hike, we ran into a few parties of goblins but at that point we just kinda kept walking forward with our weapons held out and collected the loot afterward. Really wasn't much compared to fighting the higher level boss guy. By the time we could see the bandit's castle (really more like the bandit's fuckton of sheds pushed together, but, immersion) it was already sundown, and this was Saturday. The big event thing happens the next day and we kinda need to get that shard before then. We walk up to the castle gates, surprisingly unguarded, when something goes WHAP extremely loud against the shed next to Douchemiester. We hear a mouse-y little voice chant a spell incantation, after makign sure it missed so he could chant one of his shitty spells, of course.

If mouse doesn't metagame he will have earned a degree of respect from me dispite following that ass hat peacock around.

Heh- I find is amusing how this storytime has all the right elements.

-Cocky, high-level weebo antagonist who abuses his power
-Small group of underdog heroes, each sufficiently distinctive and all equally contributing to the story
-Plot to overthrow said cocky weebo

That formula needs no revising- it's perfect. Carry on OP.

>>14879132
...so, I'm not really from Balkans?

Kind of makes me feel better.

>>14879147

If he got resurrected, he didn't metagame.

>>14879161

Geographically.

General mindset of the country you're living in (I'm assuming Slovenia) is a totally different thing.

>>14879147
>a mouse-y little voice
YOU!

>>14879132

geologically true. But that doesn't stop the rest of europe to think about Hungary as part of the Balkan. And sadly there is a good reason for this...
Also there are a fuckton of people who thinks that hungarians are slavs too. It's kind of funny how a fuckton of slavs could rage about this.

>>14879182

>Hungarians
>Slavs

I'm raging.

A little bit.

>>14879147
We look at the shed wall, and there is a big dent in it. We look on the ground and see what appears to be a regular beanbag. We look behind us and we see Peacock and the little mouse-y fucker who is hefting another beanbag and acting like it's a struggle. Of course Peacock would be able to get him resurrected, but in doing so his lanyard was back to plain black level one. Now, a lot of people think southern boys aren't very bright. Who knows, the standards for what counts as smart tends to change based on who you're asking.\ But any good ol' boy is going to know when you are throwing a bag of fucking rocks at him. And that will piss him off pretty bad. Don't do that. Little life tip.

Mouse-y was level 1 now, so his spells weren't hurting us much worth a damn. I guess he knew that, and that's why he decided to substitute those little foam pellet things for gravel. If you can't injure the character, injure the player isn't a tactic I agree with, but that doesn't stop it from getting used.

Peacock was just laughing, acting like we weren't even worth throwing his beanbags. Furfriend grabbed the rock-bag and winged it back at them, more as a “Fuck you” than anything. It sailed true, guided by the God of all the best things, that's the only reason I can come up for why it did what it did.

>>14879193
Please tell me it brained that cocky fucker.

>>14879193

>>14879171
Nah, Serbia. At least I'm from the north.

>>14879193

Broken nose?

>>14879079
That doesn't happen to be at the Drachenfest, does it?

>>14879193
Did the feces just become extant? Cause it sounds like the feces just became extant.

>>14879193
pic related?

>>14879193
HIT PEACOCK IN THE GROIN
BREAK PEACOCK'S NOSE
BREAK PEACOCK IN THE GROIN

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, OP WHAT HAPPENED

>>14879193
Why do you leave us in such agonizing suspense?!

OP don't make me rape the F5 button because i will

>>14879216

I think it was Drachenfest... Or mythodea. But somewhere in germany. I got it from one of the larp threads

>>14879193
> Furfriend hits weeaboo Peacock in presumably sensitive place, likely gonads, face, or hair-knock-off
> mfw

>>14879226
>BREAK PEACOCK IN THE GROIN
It... Makes no sense...
BUT I WANT IT TO HAPPEN

It hit him in his spell bag.

Not a euphamism.

God this is killing me!

Please tell me you ruined his hair. My god, that would be perfect. Or it was a wig, which that glorious Furfriend knocked off.

>>14879193
MOUSE-Y YOU SON OF A ROCK THROWING BITCH

This thread is the best thing I have seen in a long while. OP, you and your compatriots' deeds shall live forever on in song.

GOD DAMN YOU. MORE.

>>14879193

>Throwing gravel filled beanbags at people

this thread shall go down into history

>>14879193
aaaaand any respect I had for mouse vanished right there.

F5'ing like I'm Motherfucking Kenshiro against a bunch of mooks!

>>14879282

>a flib flob hobba hobba.jpg

FUCK YOU MY COFFEE IS ALL OVER MY DESK

>>14879274

Dear God, what is the source of this image? If it set a historic precedent of medieval Japanese face removal I'd like to read about it.

>>14879296

Amateur cosmetic surgery handbook

>>14879193
It flew up and knocked Peacock's little anime hat crest thing off his head, and damn near pulverized it. Now I want to say that we all froze for a second. That could have hit the guy in the head, and really hurting someone because of petty differences in your elfan' games is really shitty. Then we realized that's what they were trying to do to us. Then we didn't feel as bad. Then we laughed. And he was PISSED. He started screaming about how he was going to take that bag as evidence that we were cheating. We told him to go ahead, it was Mouse-y guy's bag. He got a bit more pissed. Then the GM in the castle dungeon thing came out. He hadn't seen what happened, so he thought we were a party going to take on the dungeon. He told us the dungeon was closed for the night, but it'll be open in the morning, two hours before the event. Then he turned to leave. Peacock seemed to forget about us for a moment to curse his timing, and that was all the time we needed.

We fucking RAN.

Dude could vaporise us by coughing, we weren't going to tangle with that under equipped in the middle of the forest.

I somehow have more respect for furries now.

If that bag hits Peacock in the hair, nose or gonads then that respect is doubled.

>>14878804
bullets dont work like that bro, without compression built up behind them in something like a tube, they just explode without the 'slug' going anywhere fast. it's pretty safe to throw .22s into a fire while you are next to it...

So our little mouse weasel not only metagamed like a motherfucker, but also broke rules and federal laws? Fun times.

>>14879299

dubs and takes off his hat lol

205 posts and 51 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

Not OP's (including me) please stop posting.

f5'ing like a boss.
Man this is killing me! I must know!

>>14879299
i thought peacock spent all his xp to res mouse? wasn't that what you meant when you said his lanyard was black again? or did you mean that mouse was lvl 1 again?

>>14879325

Gonna read this in the morning...

>>14879331
It's mouse's laniard. Would have been better if it was Peacock's though

>>14879299
>We fucking RAN.
Ah, the CoC approach. Classy.

>>14879331
Mouse-y was lvl 1 again, sorry, I could have made that more clear. Peacock was still basically a rape train

There was some shitty rez system where the more money you paid the more levels you got to keep. Peacock wasn't about to drop more gold than he needed to on that, I'd assume.

>>14879331
Mouse went down in levels after being rez'd.

Fellow LARPfag here and I gotta say, that's a harsh death system. Most games that allow multiple deaths + resurrection have a set number of times you can die in your career and towards the end, you start getting weaker until you Final.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/14877949/

'The Tale of Douchemeister, The Colonel, Furfriend, and Peacock' is immortalised forever.

>>14879352
You really think an asshole like that would give up his levels for anything short of a hostess fruit pie?

>>14879325
Because it costs real money to start a new thread.

>>14879370
what is a hostess fruit pie, good sir?

>>14879383
Surely we're not going to make a new thread? It can all fit in here, it doesn't really matter if we go past autosage. It's archived and being followed by a bunch of people.

>>14879391
Something of good measure I assumne

>>14879370
JUSTICE FRUIT PIES!??! THE DELICIOUS TREAT YOU'D HAVE TO BE CRAZY TO HATE?!?! DOOOOHHH I GIVE UP!

I'm just passing through from /tv/ and I gotta say none of this makes any sense to me whatsoever. It's all just runes and moonspeak but I'm glad to see you're all having fun.

Carry on.

Little packs of delicious.

>>14879299
>>14879246
CALLED IT.

Granted, I threw a wide net.

>>14879409
A LARP is a Live Action RolePlay. Does it make more sense if I confirm that?

>>14879409
GLORP GLORP GLOBBLTY BLIG!

>>14879409
>zooey deschanel
Fucking /tv/, when will you learn.

we got sticky'd

Bravo! Any more?

You got sticky'd, OP.

Sticky, fuck year.
Mod is a pretty cool guy.

>>14879468
What.
Seriously?

>mfw sticky
>mfw i have no face

mods being a bro


more OP

Sticked because it took FOUR HOURS to get this far probably.

Seriously OP loving this and all but goddamn.

POSTING IN A STICKY!!!

>Sticky
Hwat.

No pressure, OP.

>>14879407
I fucking lost it.

Now OP should stop posting.

Just for shit and giggles.

And continue in a new thread

>awesome storytime
>get stickied
>postinginasticky-posts
I thought we were better than this

mfw saging a sticky

>OP's face when sticky

Mods...

I'm sorry about the stuff I keep saying about you. I know now that some of you are a pretty cool guy to be around.

Whoever stickied this, you deserve your one free internet.

DON'T YOU 404 ON ME YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD

This thread deserved a sticky. You've redeemed yourself, moderator.

>>14879530
It's a sticky my man.

>>14879519
And how often do we get stickies that arent locked?

>>14879519

I was posting in this thread before it got cool. Now I just do it ironically.

/tg/ proof that we can be civilized if we try or if we're united under a banner of awesome.

Also; need to know what happens next.

Indeed! The moderation around here has significantly improved in recent times. Bravo, radmins.
But enough about the mods, on with the story!

>>14879539
Every once in a while when some real shit goes down, like the Necrosoft Skeleton Super Computer

>>14879545
Indeed in all cases so it would seem

This is great OP

>Mfw Mods made this thread a sticky

Wasn't posting before because I didn't want to make the autosage quicker, but now that it's stickied...

F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5

OP, you should have taken one of the feathers from his broken headpiece and stuck it in your cap.

Bumping a sticky

>>14879299
Thankfully running wasn't the strong suit of someone used to just throwing area of effect spells at things and receiving praise. If he had gotten into insta-kill range that would have been the end of the story.Pic related narrowly avoided The bad news is that going back to the tavern was probably not going to end well. The good news is, lowbie sleeping quarters were a PVP-free zone, at the expense of basically sleeping in a shitty barracks. So we decided to just go back and rest up for tomorrow, we needed to be early for our plan to work.

Now I'd like to say that we had planned to rush into the dungeon and clear it ourselves, come back, be smug, the end. But we were still only lvl 3, and this was a dungeon Peacock was recruiting a party for. So we'd do them one better. Why bother recruiting a big posse when he's already done the work for us? Just sneak in after them, let them take all the fights, we'll grab the loot and the shard. I would like to point out that it was a patented The Colonel(tm) plan, so we didn't really see a way that it could fail. Overconfidence is a dangerous thing.

The next morning we all got as prepared as we could. Spent basically all of our cash on potions, I bought a sticker that made my crossbow +2, Furfriend bought an enchantment for his shield so he could block spells with it, The Colonel got some stuff that made his clothes damage resistant like chain mail, and Douchemiester basically loaded himself up for bear with spell recharges. He also slipped off for a bit while we were shopping. When we asked him where the hell he went, he just said “It's a poor fool that goes into hell without insurance”

We told him to cut the shit and tell us but he insisted on being vague, we figured he just had a potion of not die or something.

OH GOD A FUCKING STICKY

Oh a sticky? I usually don't read long stories here since I have better things to do, but this has convinced me OP came up with at the very least a middlingly amusing story. Proceeding...

>>14879597

>Potion of not die

You are a walking catchphrase machine, my good man.

Also, I hope he didn't tell you for reasons of suspense.

Guys i think our mod loves us again.

Someone better be screencapping this shit for future posting in best /tg/ stories threads

Also I am now deleting this image from the hard drive, because our mods have ascended to godhood again.

This thread is glorious, OP. Please continue at your leisure.

Loving this! Don't quit on us now OP.

>>14879597
Oh god, Douchemeister sold you out, didn't he?

This story is better than cocaine.

If there is a drawfag among us, I implore you, draw these guys. Dwarvern-Cat-Ears, +2 Crossbow of Physics Fucking; everything.

>>14879623
NO DON'T SAY THAT HE'S ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS!

>>14879623
If he did
We will find him
And fire the +2 Crossbow of Physics Fucking down his throat

>>14879623
No way, I bet it's a simple but awesome mcguffin that will save the party's asses

keep going OP.

>>14879623

He got a rat into Peacock's group?

If there was such an enchantment, you should have gotten rapid fire instead of +2.

Cause it's a nerf rapid weapon that shoots across wal-mart parking lots.

>>14879646
inb4 Douchemeister bought a gun and murdered Peacock.

Oh damn this is unfortunately taking too long for me. Can you just drop us some cliff notes OP? You have some rough drafts and idea sheets left around from the planning phase anyway, yes?

>>14879667

It's archived anyway, just read it later.

>>14879667
Or just read the whole damn thing tomorrow from the archive.

>>14879667
>Implying the story should end anything other than perfectly
YOU SHUT YOUR FILTHY WHORE MOUTH

>>14879597

>“It's a poor fool that goes into hell without insurance”

For what it's worth Douchemeister is absolutely right.

I personally am hoping that Peacock McDickface racked up so many enemies the time he's there that he finds a United Force of Fuck You waiting for him at the end.

Bless my stars, this thread is so good. Thank you OP.

I'M GOING TO BREAK MY F5 LIKE THIS.

rolled 49 = 49

I saw the opening to this thread at 7.30 AM chan time.

I figured it was another 'skip it' story thread.

I was wrong.

>mfw this story

Usually don't read this, but if it reaches sticky levels than it must be good, and oh god how I am loving this.
Op you are a glorious bastard.

Sad that in my shitty country there isn't LARP, hell I can't even find people who play DnD

>>14879740
>usually don't read storytime
Fuck man, that's one of the best parts of /tg/

>>14879727
Bind F5 to mouse.

I almost wish my local larp group had had more shitty members, just so I could tell awesome stories like OP.

I love storytime
I love /tg/
Good job OP you've made daytime /tg/ glorious

While I cringe at every second sentence of the Americun LARP, this is an awesome story (and a reminder that fun is fun, no matter the authenticity)

>>14879748
I recognise that gu...

Oh, right, he just looks like every other LARPer and a bunch of normal nerds I know.

>>14879296

Not the guy who posted it, but I know it's from this big torrent of Japanese scrolls/woodblocks/paintings:

http://thepiratebay(DOT)org/torrent/4711851/Huge_collection_of_Japanese_art

Enjoy yourself.

>>14879768
Did you notice that his right forearm is bulkier than his left? I'm sure you know a bunch of nerds like that.

>>14879778
>>Look again
>>.....
>>Motherfucker.

FUCK YOU, OP!

I was going to actually have a productive day in the office.

BUT THIS IS SO FUCKING WORTH GOOFING OFF!

>>14879778
different angles bro

>>14879778
Also, the tip-end of his sword blurs the walls behind it. And that arm's skin is a different colour. And the glove is too.

I think that entire arm and weapon might be shooped in.

>>14879794
tabs bro, do both

huzzah OP, thanks for the epic story !
A billion free internet for you !

>>14879597
So we went off down the path to the castle, keeping an eye out for Peacock's party. Eventually we capped a hill and saw him fighting in front of the castle. He was easy to pick out because of the horribly mangled hat/crest/thing. From what we could tell it was Peacock, Mousey and about 4 other dudes. Our confidence was shaken somewhat by that, as our chances of being found were exponentially higher than what we had assumed. Also, the idea that he had to take a party of 6 to take this place kinda shot our idea that we could take care of straggling mobs by ganging up on them. We hoped that he had just brought a bunch of newbies along to let them watch him be awsome, because if he actually needed those guys we were fucked.

We waited until they had entered the castle proper before we approached. There were beanbags everywhere, which was another bad sign. Whole thing looked like pic related. It just meant that he had enough ammunition that he didn't care about picking it back up. We scavenged what we could off the battlefield outside, since there were some lesser potions and shit that were basically vendor trash for a higher level party that was precious HP to us. We gathered ourselves up and jumped in, hoping that they weren't just inside waiting for us.

>>14879778

It's not bulkier, only his right forearm is in a different pose

>>14879802

I am, dude, I bloody am.

I am pressing Command + R so fast I think this might be labelled as sexual assault.

>>14879759
Not all American LARPs are like that, but unfortunately Nero has cast a pall of darkness over all. Which isn't to say that Nero is terrible, just that the entire manner in which they handle combat, progression, and 'safety (ie: 'legal ass covering') is a pox on the house of Larp.

Hope you like some shitscribble. Best I could do.

>>14879798
and the sleeve is blurred where it meets the arm... damn you might just be right

>>14879813

HAHAHA GOD

>>14879778
>>14879797

Different angles may be distorting it, but it is true. However, that extreme difference I would rather attribute to him being a fencer than being a nerd.

>>14879798

you are not a real expert, are you?

THIS THREAD.

>>14879822
Of course not. But it's the internet- who knows.
But my two cents is that the pic doesn't look all that real, if you single out that arm + sword.

keep on the good job OP.

>>14879807
yes... Yes...YES...

>>14879813
are you dim?

almost 5 hours, oh boy, but it is so good..

>>14879849

I know because I was there. I can show you other pictures with this guy, or from that event. It was in 2009.

>>14879864
Then do. Show more of the fapping-arm and that sword.

This tale shall live in the legends.


Also someone should add this to /tg/ wiki

F5ing like the fist of north star

Holy shit.
This is the best storytime EVER.
(That one guy who stole the rings and pwned the douchebag a close second of course)

>>14879856

OH PLEASE OP HURRY.

>>14879880
We haven't reached the climax. Once we have, we can decide wether The Colonel > The Ring Bearer

>>14879880
got a link to that one? i haven't read the ringbearer.

I really need to work on this essay about 20th Century Literature, but fuck that, this story is gold.

F5 F5 F5

>>14879892

Who is this ringbearer and how may i read of his stories?

>>14879902
I don't want to dump all seven parts. Here's the link.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/11295346/

>>14879904
Hear, hear.
This is heavily influencing the will to work xD

Awesome story so far OP!

>>14879813

Haha, yes! That's almost exactly that the shield and ears looked like! I'm going to show him next time I get the chance, he'll probably laugh his ass off.

>>14879807
Fortunately, the layout was something like Furfriend had assumed. He actually build something like a much smaller scale version of this for the purpose of storing tools. He knows a bit about the type of crappy metal and wooden sheds they used to jury-rig this place into existence, and he figured it would be cramped. He had devised a battle strategy, He would stand in front, having the shield and all, The Colonel would be behind him because his halberd gave him enough reach, Douchemiester would be in the middle-back since he's the squishiest but can reach almost anywhere, and I was pullin up the caboose, since I could take a hit and reach just about anywhere with my crossbow. We spent a lot of time slowly creeping through that place, paranoid as fuck that Peacock was going to turn the corner with a heart full of haberdashery based revenge and a hand full of greater explode spell.

>>14879880
I must have missed this, someone have a link?

>>14879880
I respectfully disagree. The fall of Ulcik was simply... better than that. This story is good, but It still lacks that something which would made It above the other larp stories. So far It only has a narrator with good catchphrases and The Colonel.

>>14879917
thanks, pal. you're a right prince.

>>14879917
OH yeah. I didn't make the connection between 'Ring Bearer' and this thread. Epic, certainly.

Let's see wether this matches it.

>>14879921

My first thought.

I LOVE YOU OP WILL YOU MARRY ME?

>>14879921

>Peacock was going to turn the corner with a heart full of haberdashery based revenge and a hand full of greater explode spell.

I love you, and I love your way with words.

>>14879880
>(That one guy who stole the rings and pwned the >douchebag a close second of course)

Link plz?

>>14879921
>a heart full of haberdashery based revenge

You are fucking killing me OP, holy shit.
This thread is a fucking quotable goldmine

>>14879871

the guy with a larp sword. Searching for that specific sword

keep going OP!

>>14879944
>>14879922

-=THE RING BEARER STORY IS HERE=-
>>14879917
Now let's stop asking.

>>14879940
NO! OP LOVES ME!

This thread is awesome.

>Awesome thread
>Get sticky
/tg/ confirmed for best board.

>>14879938

i need sauce on the gif that while i wait for op

mfw when people keep bumping the thread to only say they are f5ing and only end up reducing the image limit.

Oh wait, i dont have one.
Because I'd like the op to continue

This is awesome. Tell me it's real OP. Please. I really want it to be real, but I know that its almost certainly not.

And I think I'm done complaining about harsh moderation because our mod has redeemed himself with this sticky.

>>14879977
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apocalypse_Meow

>>14879917
So, there was ringbearer, ringbearer II, and that weird story with the knights and the marriage.

>>14879979
It's a sticky now, silly.

>>14879979
But Mr. Sarcasm, sir!
OP don't need no pictures to continue with the story!

>>14879991
Oh yeah, Brotherhood of the Dicks. Story with the knights and the marriage tournament was a fanfic made by someone else

>>14879991
I think only the first one actually happened. The others were fanfic.

this thread better be here tommorow

I predict this story will end with a humiliated Peacock and the Colonel making an Ainsley Harriot reactionface as he basks in delicious LARPer tears.

>>14879994
Kind of like how
>>14878230
>>14878337
>>14878429
>>14878530
>>14878830
>>14878852
>>14878940
>>14878944
>>14879212
>>14879332
>>14879330
>>14879497
>>14879521
>>14879539
>>14879544
>>14879567
>>14879589
>>14879650
>>14879738
>>14879852
>>14879891
>>14879909
>>14879960
>>14879981
don't need no pictures for the OP to continue with the story?

Isn't posting image macro replies outside of /b/ a bannable offence?

>>14880022
What is it about Ainsley that gets his face posted everywhere?

>>14880023
What?
Dude, you make no sense.

>>14880036

You are ruining everyone's fun.

Everyone's.

>>14880041
Being bald and black?

>>14880036
Well, let's see...

No.

Welcome to the rest of 4chan.

>>14880041
It's a signature of /v/irgins

>>14879921
We kept listening for the sounds of fighting and yelling, because we wanted to stay close enough that they took care of the monsters for us, but not so close that they actually found us. We hit a major lucky break when we found a shield on the wall. Either Peacock's party had passed it up or had just figured it was a random decoration, but The Colonel actually took a good look at it. Turns out it was enchanted to offer physical damage resistance equal to plate armor, over your entire body. This was some high level shit, and it actually served to make us more nervous about the monsters here. That diminished somewhat when Furfriend decided to dual wield the shields and become an impenetrable wall of shield. With how cramped most of the rooms and especially the hallways were, it was basically like being covered in a shell.

We hit a few combat encounters, but we dealt with most of them in the same boring way, kill it as quickly and quietly as we could, while hiding behind our portable wall. We were winning the fights, but at the cost of like a potion or so for each person. The pressure was really piling to find the damn shard and get out of there. The death mechanics in this LARP were team based. If your whole team was wiped, THEN you are dead. If you still had someone on your team, or who would be willing to claim to be on your team to rez you, then you could be resurrected. But with stuff like the shards awarding magic items to the team that finds them first, most people weren't going to step in and pull your ass out of the fire. This system was horribly skewed towards higher level players and the lowbies basically got jack shit. If one of you dies, chances are it's going to be a total party wipe. With that in mind, we were doing some dangerous shit.

>>14880036
Welcome to 4chan, newfriend.

>>14880011
If ribbonfag is to be believed, none of them are actually real.

>>14880036
It's against the rules, doesn't say if its bannable or not. And TBH it's not enforced. And TBQFH the rule shouldn't exist since EVERY board violates it on an hourly basis and no one is banned over it. But by all means, continue bringing up the rules. this is 4chan. we're big on rules here.

>>14879871

ok, I made a mistake. It was from 2010, but I got the original picture, with the exif.

>>14880072
>>14880056
Wait, reading the rules makes me a newfag?

Cool.

>>14880070
>dual-wielding shields

sure is brandish in here

>>14880070

>dual wield
>Shield

YES YES YES YES YES!

>>14880070
DWARF WHO MENACES WITH IMAGES OF KITTENS IS DUAL WIELDING SHIELDS
IT'S JUST LIKE MY DORF FORTRESS

>>14880081
Why hasn't that rule been removed yet?

>>14880083
No, it makes you a newfriend.
We're all friends here.

>>14880073
Actaully, he claimed ringbearer was real, but "embellished". The sequel he just made up.

>>14880070
This might end in tragedy.

>>14880083
not necessarily, but you've not been around long enough to see what rules are actually enforced and which are not. THAT makes you a newfag. reading all the rules and insisting others follow them makes you an asspie.

>>14880070
TWO SHIELD WIELDAN CAT EARED DORF BRO FURFAG.

Now we only need Douchemeister doing some awesome shit.

And OP. To be honest, OP is only the third most amazing person in the team

>>14880099
Guess I misremembered, then. Not too surprising.

THAT'S SO DWARF WITH MORE SHIELDS THAN WEAPONS.

Dual wield shield made with the corpses of cats.

My fucking god, this Dwarf stepped out of Dwarf Fortress or something. More so by the second.

>>14880081
4chan rules = driving rules
Reaction images are like speeding; most cops (mods) will let you by unless you're being super-stupid about it. Posting porn on a SFW board is like driving the wrong way on the interstate, while trolling is gun-waving roadrage. Those get a cop's attention.

>>14880096
Because the rule page hasn't been updated for years and the macros were a pretty bad plague at one point. It's ok to post them as long as they're actually decent and you are not spamming them.

>>14880109
Yeah, whenever I tell this story I always tell people that The Colonel is the real main character of it. He always fucking hates that if he's around

>>14880089
My exact thoughts

>>14880120
Yeah, I don't think they've been updated since that one clusterfuck of a day on /b/ in 2005.

>>14880119
Posting porn on a SFW board is like driving under the influence of drugs. It can be fun for you any maybe the passengers but when the cops find out they're pissed.

>>14880106
I've been on 4chan for two years.

I merely raised a question concerning that rule because I haven't seen any person being banned from posting a image macro.

Call me ignorant and a asspie but I keep hearing plenty of reports from people being banned by the mods for stupid ass reasons recently. And I just want to cautious.

>>14880137
>Call me ignorant and a asspie
ok.

Hey, come on guys.

We're hear to read about some Peacock fucker getting ganked.

>>14880133
No no no you got It wrong, OP.
I stated It wrong. It's your pov and your thoughts makes this story entertaining. People like secondary characters for their actions but they also love protagonists with witty comments. Pretty much like you.
Ever watched Haruhi Suzumiya series? Think Kyon, except /tg/ version.

>>14880070
We crept up to a big obvious “The boss is in here please charge through like a dumbass” door, and Furfriend cracked it as much as he could so I could see inside. There was the boss of the dungeon, wearing a lanyard color I hadn't even seen before and twiddling his thumbs, reading a book. I guess he expected whoever was going to be coming thorugh that door to do it loudly. Remember in the begenning of the story, where I told you about The Colonel and the hornet's nest dare? Well, I drew the short straw this time. Everyone hid as well as they could, if he saw them then the plan was a failure . I gently threw my dagger into the room, bopping him gently in the side. He looked up at me in shock. I looked back and said “Dagger sneak attack Critical” We both kind of sat there for a second, until I remembered that I kind of needed to fucking run. Run like YESTERDAY.

>>14880137
Right. But image macros- which comprise every other post on pretty much all the boards- is not one of those rules.

Anyway, welcome to /tg/. Find a quest-thread and a link to some xenophilia, and enjoy your stay.

Why is this stickied?

>>14880182

Only some kind of tactical genius could....

>>14880192
Because it's fucking awesome and the mod is a bro.

>>14880182
RUN OP RUN!

>>14880192
Why do you sage a stickied thread?

peacock will not get ganked.

he'll get lost, and find that the shard is gone while OP & friends are running back to town going FFFFFFFFFFF

>>14880137
>two years
Well at least It's not a "whole summer".
And retarded mods are the curse of 4chan. Being banned for stupid reasons was always here.
But only recently people started to care

>>14880192
>Saging a sticky

>>14880184
Then why the hell is it still stated under the global rules?

>>14880200
>>14880205
As a polite indication his remark is off-topic. He follows proper protocol. Saging is an off-topic indication (contrary to popular belief).

>>14880192
>laughinggirls.jpg

>>14880192
Just to piss you off.

>>14880217

shut up peacock

>>14880217
Its kinda pointless in a sticky.

>>14880215
Because moot can't be bothered to change them. It's been like that for years.

rolled 67 = 67

>>14880232
Just as politeness is kinda pointless in real life. ammirite?

>>14880215
Because NOBODY cares about the rules.
Except the newones.
Seriously, the site is still running so what to change?

>>14880215
You clearly have not been here long enough to understand what power the rules have here. Just assume we know what we're doing, otherwise everyone on /tg/ would be banned right now.

>>14880182
I was bookin' it the hell out of there like it was free bacon day pretty much anywhere else. You ever played the Monster Hunter games? Yeah, that kind of bookin' it. The guys said they almost burst out laughing, ruining the whole thing. My mission was simple, kite the boss into Peacock's party while Bravo Team pulls the old switcheroo' and pic related'ed the shard with one of those plastic jewels off of Douchemiester's staff.

I remember following the sounds of the fighting , and I guess the Boss must have thought I was fleeing to my party. I WAS fleeing to SOMEONES party, so he wasn't 100% wrong. I remember turning the corner and seeing Peacock's party fighting with some mooks, with Peacock himself standing back looking rather bored, tossing the occasional beanbag into combat without really aiming. Guess he didn't care if he hit allies. I ran up and grabbed his hat from behind, and shouted “WHAT'S UP PEACOCK? HOPE YOU'RE NOT TOO CHICKEN FOR THE BOSS! BUK-BUK-BUCKAUGH!”

I would like to point out that I never said I was a clever man.

rolled 72 = 72

I saw what you did there mod.

>>14880245
No, it's more like performing CPR on a skeleton.
It's not going to achieve anything.

>>14880245
I don't see saging as a form of etiquette at all really.

Because most forms involve body language and words.

Saging just feels like going outside naked and expect people to ignore you.

>>14880192
probably to keep it from autosaging due to high amount of noise posts, I'd wager


(sorry for contributing to that btw)

Could we NOT derail this awesome thread into metafaggotry? I'm here to enjoy storytime.

>>14880257
Your a slick bastard OP.

>>14880257
So awesome.
My internets, take all of them.

>>14877949
You deserve this.

Psyker ted, what did he do?

>>14880257
>I never said I was a clever man.