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  • File : 1305107967.jpg-(157 KB, 515x768, 1304044337784.jpg)
    157 KB Storytime part 3: Sal Morass (Sal the bleak). <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)05:59 No.14888308  
    Ok, so... I promised most of a week of storytime, and so here is Sal Morass, a Mochtahr Gypsy in the dark ages.
    Previous threads:
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/14863919/ - Keter
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/14871818/ - Jackie
    Also, thanks for voting Keter into the epic category, guys!

    Kai was the DM. My condition for playing one of his games was that I would play a Mochtahr character.
    My town has roughly 4-5 tabletop groups amongst the population, and 3-4 have accepted and used Mochtahr in the campaigns they play. Not bad for one guy's homebrew race, yeah? I'll post stats if asked, or when they're relevant again, but suffice to say, HP drain, Natural psion, one of 3 powers, Bull's strength (on level 3), Charm person (on level 5). Good physical and gimped Charisma.
    The premise is pure 3.5, only choosing basic classes from the Player's handbook, but any prestige class or feat we meet the prerequisites for. Also, Psionics, my favourite charater type, are banned (I always used Autohypnosis in his games. I always NEEDED to). So we convert the natural Psionics for some SR and I roll my character. Rogue 1/Bard 1

    I decided to play as a Gypsy. A young man with a Fey'Ri mother and onknown father. My Gypsy clan was decently-sized, and we had a good matron and a fair number of strong young men.
    I was one of the roguish types amongst us. I put skill points into Sarawak (use rope and craft: art), performance: lute, and performance: song
    Also the usual stuff for a bard/rogue.
    It begins.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)06:24 No.14888496
    So I spend the 1st few sessions mainly being camped outside some large walled city with the rest of the clan.
    I, being 17, want to spend as much time as I can in the city making money (theft or otherwise) and being generally a pest to the populace in the way that a young Gypsy is.
    When not roguing about, myself and the other player would be doing little things all the time for the clan. All looked well, it seemed Kai was learning how to be a good DM! YAY!
    The other character was a Wizard 2 / Ranger 3 mainly doing his thing as an Alchemist. So he'd make our salves and balms and whatnot, and I'd go do odd jobs for the people who needed it. Mainly sucking up to the Matron and her apprentice. My mother, being a Fey'ri, was the apprentice.
    Mochtahr always register as Evil, regardless of alignment (still Chaotic Good), and anything that targets Devils, Fey, and Aberrations works on them, but they've got a glamour ability. All of these 'holy' cities have a hallowing on the gates that has a Detect evil and Holy word intrinsic effects, so I climb up the walls to get in.

    The town guards come and harass us in the marketplace, tearing down our modest stall and strongarming the clan. Sal walks around the corner and assumes another face, cuts the guard's throat, steals his Longsword, runs away amongst the panicked crowd into an empty alley, and assume my usual face. Sword hidden in a fold of clothing. I'm protective of my family, but the way I always seem evil keeps even my own clan on edge with my for the most part. They think I'm a vampire who can walk in the day, and a bit demonic. Fey? They don't mind that, we Morass folk have got a few fey-kissed members in our Clan.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)06:45 No.14888675
    So I've gotten hold of a Longsword, plus my short sword and short bow. I've also got a bit of leather armour held together well with my judicious use of Sarawak (Kai's being awesome enough to let that make it +1 leather armour... We've got a long-standing thing in our group that if you craft it well enough with the right designs, you can craft 'enchantment' effects into equipment. With SOME, not all, effects).
    I always carry a long half-cloak and a bag or two to hold stuff in, plus my ever-present rope and grappler. I keep my weapons at home except my short sword, unless I need it.
    Kai continues us being helpful people to the clan. Sal providing income with stolen trinkets, baubles, and money. Bruno (Kyle's character) providing the ointments for our injuries and diseases. We're in the dark ages, so the latter is just as constant and real a threat as HP damage. But we do ok. We're in transit between cities at the moment. Sal is helping the Matron's sorcerous powers by harvesting material components wherever he sees them, and of the whole clan it is her, Sal's mother, the alchemist, and his cousin Sarah.
    This crappy trope he does of having a cousin named Sarah just rolls off my back, back then I didn't realise what he had done to me by doing that yet.
    I only realised it now, in fact.
    But no-one else in the clan trusts me quite fully, despite the Gypsies being close in their groups. But Sal doesn't mind, he just shrugs it off and goes about his merry business.

    On the road between two of these cities, we're attacked by Elves. Nasty, animalistic fey beasts that they are. Sal is called to help the warriors, where he uses his bow as much as he can, but they're not hurt by anything we're doing... other than MAGIC.
    We're fucked.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)07:08 No.14888855
    The swordsmaster sends someone to fetch the magically endowed members of the clan and Sal pulls out his Short sword (one of those Broad-blade Short swords in Complete adventurer) and moves in to fill the gap. I go ahead and use my HP draining attack as it's a magical source of damage, mainly keeping the Short sword as a stop-gap to defend myself with (on top of my temporary buckler). It does alright, I'm getting healed of the damage these eldritch foes deal to me. Every HP counts for my 13 total, and I end up needing to do 2 of these (I can do 5/day) attacks before the Wizard/Ranger and a couple of Sorcs arrive and blast the Elves away.
    I am bloodied, but alive. I'm put in the care of the Alchemist for the rest of the trip, and Sarah comes to visit me from time to time, drafted by him to clean my wounds and provide care. Mochtahr only heal at 1/2 the rate of others, also, Inflict and Cure Wound spells do half effect to them (rounded to their detriment).
    So what would heal in a few days (no Clerics in the clan and NO FAOVURED SOULS OR SHIT LIKE THAT EVAR!!!) is taking more than a week. The rest of the clan only calls me to do battle in times of REAL need, because they think I'm a weak and sickly scion of their folk... all thanks to the slow healing.

    Kyle's doing awesome shit and I'm sick. That's ok, because we were gaming every night just about (all living together at this stage) and I had work, I didn't mind. But after that week, I'm better and we've got only 2 more days of travel to get to our destination!
    I wait the last days out, riding with the scouts to make sure the path's clear. Is a good half-session, not much but a couple of wolves that get perforated swiftly.
    Then, upon arrival outside the city, the city guards stationed at the entrances come and demand us to pay the city for our right to stay outside. Sal's thievery pays for most of it and we're left alone. That evening, jubilations!
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)07:31 No.14888986
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    But the celebration-by-fire is cut short when we see what essentially amounts to flying jellyfish drifting along the breeze in a mist. These things are to be feared, apparently, and one of my IRL pet pseudo-fears is the fuckers. Pic related as to why and how big a couple were.
    So the entire clan douses the bonfire and hides in our carriages. I like how Kai describes the scene; I'm sitting beneath the tiny window of the Matron's carriage with Sarah, and I'm given "You hear faint high-pitched clicks and snaps as the wall opposite you lights up with a pale blue light from the window above your head. The mist begins to seep into the carriage and you feel an unnatural cold at its touch."
    Which is very good description coming from Kai. He usually pauses mid-sentence a lot and describes as an Iron Chef host would.
    I think this is the start of a good campaign, and possibly a new leaf for the guy.
    "What do you do, Dave?"
    "Nothing. I'm staying put out of sight and don't want to see the damn air-jellyfish or whatever the FUCK they're called. They're arcing lightning between themselves or whatever and that's bad news."
    "Well, outside, you see--"
    "NO! I'm not looking. Jellyfish have an eye that looks in all directions at once and NO OTHER BRAIN! I'm not being seen!" Shut up, if you live in tropical Queensland, you'd understand.
    "Fine, fine. Sarah says she sees a little girl in the mists."

    I reason that it's an illusion. We Gyppos look after each other and if we left a child outside with THIS out there, it's not one who was there when we were going inside. It's a lie. It's a lie. It's a lie.
    I do nothing, still. The jellies are reported to be all through the camp anyway. Fucking stupid idea to go out.
    Though Sal is hating this with every fiber of his being, I'm rather enjoying the atmosphere.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/11(Wed)07:31 No.14888988
    Missed a pic, eh?
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)07:37 No.14889013
    >By now, Kyle has stopped playing for some unknown reason to me. He's gotten all quiet though.
    >Kai's come to me asking what I want as an NPC as backup. I tell him another Rogue, or at least a Ranger. They're both fairly common and they both appreciate the sneaky opportunistic combat style of a rogue.
    >He's grown up and gotten good at DMing a not-fucked campaign, it seems. He asks that we not play Isolationistic 'badass loner' types and actually get involved with our characters this time around. We do so warily, only playing that trope because of his DMing style; take away everything you love etc.
    >Regardless, we think he's gotten over himself after Jackie and no-one wanting him to DM and only BARELY letting him in our games for about a year.
    >Then comes this session's end.

    A knock on the carriage's door is heard clear as day amidst the hushed tension of the room...
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)07:59 No.14889144
    I say nothing IC & OOC.
    The knock comes again, insistent and sharp.
    Still nothing.
    An old man's voice is heard. "Old woman. I can sense your old magics through and in this door. Let me in." Kai rolls a d20, nothing happens.
    "What do you do, Dave?"
    "Fuck. Ing. Nothing."
    The same voice again. "I say, BOY. Let me in."
    Kai smiles. "Your SR13 isn't enough even if he rolls a 1. I LOVE Geas."
    >I never want to be taken over as a character. I, long ago, told the others that if I was ever taken over they should let me play my character anyway, I'll method-whore it up as the new or temporary me. To whatever end that character WOULD do.
    So I get up and move to open the door. Sarah tries to grab me and stop me. But I have none of it. I pull out my Longsword and look menacing. She still tries to keep me from my geas. So I attack her with the Longsword.
    She's put into the negatives.

    I open the door and let a man described as Grogalouragran in human form with a smell of rain about himself enter the carriage.
    I refuse to even give him the dignity of looking at him, he made me nearly kill my Cousin and I get to work staunching the blood in the wound as she weakly mouths 'why'.
    Luckily I do well enough to stabilise her, and angry tears well up in my eyes. I ignore everything the old man says to my Matron.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/11(Wed)08:14 No.14889220
    Don't you get a will save against geas? And how did the guy cast through doors?
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)08:18 No.14889241
    Lesser Geas, yes. True Geas/quest only allows SR against it, and if I got no chance of resisting with SR13, it was a 33rd+ caster level.
    And I don't know how he cast through doors, let alone knew I was there.
    Though I knew it was a disguised Silver Dragon by the smell OOC.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/11(Wed)08:30 No.14889303
    We are awaiting continuation with glee.

    shall be funny to find out whether or not Kai is just as bad as from the Jackie adventure.

    By the way, you said last thread you could still be around him albeit you were no longer friends (something like that if my memory serves me well)
    tell me, does he still play as a DM/GM or has he been shunned by all ?

    Just curious.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)08:32 No.14889316
    Yeah, the others still play with him. I refuse. Outright. I even have a contract signed by all of us (apart from Kai himself) that I can get punched in the face whenever they want if I ever play one of Kai's games again.

    This was the last game I ever played with him as the DM. Ever.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/11(Wed)08:35 No.14889334
    By Terra,
    Even though everything must be taken with a heavy dose of salt, your depiction of Kai as a GM is quite unsettling.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/11(Wed)08:39 No.14889351
    "must be taken with a heavy dose of salt on the internet * "
    >> Anonymous 05/11/11(Wed)08:43 No.14889372
    You corrected yourself. That's good.
    You still got it wrong. That's bad.

    (It's "Everything on the internet must be taken with a heavy dose of salt.")
    Is he in Sydney, by any chance? I don't want to meet this guy, even if by accident.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/11(Wed)08:49 No.14889397
    Soryr, my spelingg is nut att dhe eliete levahl i waent it too bea.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)08:55 No.14889436
    The end result of that visitation leaves the Matron with a Silverbrow human little girl named Lilith. She's got a whole level in Sorcerer... Greeaat.
    I'm being told to look after her as payment of nearly killing one of our few magically endowed members. So now Sal, while having to do all his odd jobs around the camps, he has to feed, bathe, look after, and basically RAISE this kid. So like a parent, but with a sorcerer kid that keeps casting disguise person and ghost sound and stuff like that for fun. I'm not enjoying this. I'm becoming a drain on the clan as I can't collect much in the way of supplies while looking after this kid that is described as "blankly staring at me" whenever I ask her to do something helpful or tell her off or even ignore her.

    Then, shit goes down. The Elves return. They've been following us and have prepared a BIG assault on our clan's camp.
    I'm called in to help. By now I've leveled twice. I'm getting XP for looking after this kid at least, so I'm not complaining OOC about it, but Sal's livelihood is gone and he doesn't want to be a waste of resources all for the sake of a slightly Draconic kid. I've repaired Sarah's dress as I stabbed her in the heart, and I've been looking out for her ever since, I love my cousin: she's one of 4 people in the clan that doesn't rear back slightly at my presence, and I'd like to keep her that way.
    But now I get to FIGHT! I've taken another level of each class, so I actually get a SPELL daily, and evasion!

    Sorry for the time, Internet's being shite. Damn this reception!
    And, >>14889372
    We're in Yeppoon. 1/2 hour south of Rockhampton... near Gladstone.
    You're safe, anon.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)09:22 No.14889530
    I've gotten onto a horse and joined our warriors to meet the attacking Elves with a good charge. We flatten one front, and do well in that position. We act against them on multiple fronts, riding is a good benefit for that. Then I hear a shout out for my name from Sarah IN the camp. At about this time, many fallen Elves are being resurrected as Zombies/Skeletons. We're freaking swamped. I ride back and jump into the camp at a run. I see the Matron being locked in a mage duel with an Elven mage with a morbid necromancer-ey look about him. This won't do.
    I don't even draw a weapon, just RUN! I dive on the fuck and grapple (not proficient), his AoO fails and I'm on him. I ask if I can use a charging grapple as a knockdown, Kai nods.
    >Maybe he ISN'T a bad DM anymore after all! That's it, I'm putting down the guards and playing this guy like I do with anyone else DMing. Yey!
    So I spend a few turns attempting to pin this guy after his casting Tenser's transformation (hahaha, AoO says HP drain attack) and my 'casting' Bull's strength. I break him and have him helpless.

    In my next turn, I attempt a coup de grace with my HP drain attack (3rd use this day), and am treated to a Lightning bolt attack to the face for my troubles. I watch as Kai rolls WELL over enough to put me at -10HP, groaning.
    But then I remember that I have (by now) SR15, and force that shit to be rolled... and the Elf fails to overcome it. But I apparently still take 1/2 damage, fair enough. THAT RANGE, MAN! So I critical hit the drain attack, which rolls 3d6+5 damage in the coup-de-grace.
    >Yes, he's helpless. Yes, he still manages to cast a Lightning bolt on me. Yes, as an attack of opportunity. Yes, when he's been in a mage battle against an old Sorceress.
    >Yes I still take 1/2 damage.
    I don't care. It was an epic moment. I bite out his Jugular and drink deep of his blood, roaring like a wounded animal. I'm lucky to be alive, and this Elven Necromancer's dead.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)09:39 No.14889593
    I wipe my maw clean and stand up. All around me are horrified Gypsies, I've just killed an Elven Necromancer as a Grey-skinned, White haired, black-bar-the-red-pupils eyed, Demonfey... with my sharp, sharp teeth.
    Returned to my sanity, I see what few Elves remaining are fleeing.
    And I suddenly feel very alone. All eyes are on me. And Lilith? She's got that vacant expression again. But tinged with a smile.
    The cleanup begins and Sal is taken away from his usual duties by the Matron.

    She warns him that the Elves were after the Silverbrow, they wish to warp her to their uses. That's why the old man told the clan to look after her. But now it appears that the clan is in danger for this girl. We've lost some good men and women, their souls corrupted forever by the Necromancer, and that I must give her to a stronger force of protection: The church of the one true light (Somewhere Pelor and Jehovah), and its hallowed and cloistered sanctuaries.
    I'm to ride with the girl given to me to protect and raise.
    Through the wilderness and woods.
    By myself.
    For what looks to be a week or more.

    "Are the rest of you going to stay here?"
    "Of course not, child. We're under attack. We will be moving to Fortwall, a city on the other side of the sandy plains. We will wait for you there."
    "No! Just get your things and get ready to go, child! I will prepare your provisions, and the church will no doubt give you more for your efforts at giving the girl to them."
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)09:47 No.14889629
    So I'm to go alone. Fuck that noise.
    "But, Matron. You know my condition... my... powers. In a short matter of days, I'll be struggling not to devour her and it will only end with her being killed. If I must do this alone, then I am doomed to fail."
    The Matron is listening.
    "I wish to take Sarah with me, she knows what I am, and I think she can keep me at bay. She also has no fear of me like the other warriors do; I won't find HER blade in my heart one morning as I wake."
    More silent appraisal. I realise the irony of what I said. I look down at my feet and kick absently at a rock.
    Family awkwardness.
    "You are right. Take Sarah with you. It will make it easier."

    So I get Sarah to come with me. Just the three of us, and we ride out to the nearest mission church.
    1 week of riding distance.
    Why will I be devouring her?
    Sorry, but I think I need to post the racial shit real quick.
    >> Mochtahr racial traits <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)10:12 No.14889737
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    >Medium Aberration
    >+2 Str, +2Dex, +4Con, -4Cha, +2App
    >+2 to Authypnosis (gone), Sense motive, and Intimidate. +1 to Use Magic device, Use Psionic device (gone), Perception, and Stealth.
    >-3 to Handle animal.
    >Low-light and Darkvision 30'
    >Secondary natural attack: Bite (1d4+1/2Strmod)
    >NOT OF THIS WORLD: Anything that targets Fey, Devils, or Evil works on Mochtahr. Dispel magic deals 1d8+1/2caster level damage. Greater dispel deals 2d8+caster level damage. Disjunction deals 4d8+(2*caster level) damage. Dismissal is also Finger of Death. Antimagic field deals Dispel magic damage every 15 minutes.
    >1,000 FACES: As Druid's 15th level ability, but purely illusiory. DC35 Perception or Mochtahr race knows it's a Mochtahr in disguise. If taking 11+ damage from dispel effects, dropped for 10 minutes for each damage over 10.
    >BLOOD TRADER: 5/day, substitute bite for magical attack. All HP lost by this attack is given to the Mochtahr. Deals 1d4+StrMod damage, increasing by 1 damage die every 5 levels above 1st (6th, 11th, etc.)
    >DENSE BUILD: -1 to Climb and Swim, heal at 1/2 normal rate, Cure and Inflict Wound attacks do half effect (rounded to detriment).
    >SABLE SANGUINE AND SILVER: 1 Psionic PP/HD and Choose 1 - Chamelion X/day and see in magical darkness while focussed, Animal affinity X/day (Cha only) and trade up to 4 daily uses for permanent +1Cha at any time (cannot undo once done), or Biofeedback X/day and dismiss prematurely to negate Dispelling damage but are stunned for a minute. X is number of damage dice Blood Trader does.
    >SPELL-LIKES: Bull's Strength 2/day from level 3. Charm person 1/day and Suggestion 1/day from level 5.
    >ECL +3
    >Favoured class: Psychic warrior.

    Pic related.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)10:20 No.14889779
    >SPIRITUALLY UNSTABLE: When a Mochtahr uses Blood Trader, it gains a -1 Will save penalty for each time it used Blood Trader the last day. It accumulates for 5 days, then halves 1 day after that, then goes away. Every -3 to Will saves gives a -1 to Fortitude and Reflex saves. When the Will Save penalty reaches -6 or greater, the Mochtahr must pass a DC19 Will save two-hourly or every 10 minutes of peaceful contact with a drainable creature (Animals, Humanoids, Monstrous Humanoids, and Vermin only), makes the Mochtahr lose control of themself and frenzy into either using all of their Blood trader uses/day or drain 20+ HP in this way. At any stage of this penalty, using Blood trader removes and restarts the process.

    This last one is why I need a helping hand to look after the human girl. 1 Sorc HD is not good in this situation
    >> Anonymous 05/11/11(Wed)10:35 No.14889861
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    >I won't find HER blade in my heart one morning as I wake.
    Oh god. The irony is so great in that statement that I could build a fortress out of it. I hope you did it intentionally, otherwise I'd worry about your RL social interactions.

    >You're safe, anon.
    Pic related.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)10:42 No.14889899
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    So, on level 5 now. Rogue 3 / Bard 2
    In the woods, I'm unable to fight off a Dire wolf (despite +6 to attack rolls... Um?). Rolling an 18 does nothing to help at one stage, too. I'm possibly being weakened in the rolls because of the withdrawal. I decide Fuck it, FULL ATTACK (Long sword + Short sword + Blood trader).
    Hit with Blood trader as it's only got a -5 attack penalty compared to the other -4/-8 (Next level I'll have 2w fighting, but FUCK! I NEED IT!) and critical hit. I'm healed but only deal minor damage compared to my potential. Sarah's magic saves us all.

    Then I meet... I forget her name. I never... wait.
    It was Natasha. Another Natasha Paladin.
    A half-vampire Paladin of Freedom (The Chaotic Good variant).
    >You're only allowed to have basic classes FROM THE PLAYER'S HANDBOOK
    >Basic classes from Player's handbook.
    >Player's handbook
    >Paladin of Freedom
    Tailored to have better stats than me by at least 2 in every score, immune to my shit, and whatnot. Grr.
    She's just passing through, and sees our plight. So Sal and Sarah have Natasha helping them get Lilith to the monastery. So I'm the one guy in the party and the 3 females are NPCs.
    Sure is harem anime in here. I mean, the crappy Sorc and good Sorc are reasonable, but a female Paladin? In the Dark ages? We're also not in France.
    But I persvere and find a treasure hoard of a dead Hero. The Paladin casts 'detect evil' and both I and the Skeleton glow.
    I realise the Paladin's looking at me.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)10:43 No.14889907
    I did. As I said, but probably didn't say right. Heh.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)10:58 No.14889955
    I get defensive. I've got the skull of this dead 'hero' who wields a Falchion even as a corpse. It's fanged and small horns are starting to poke out of the skull. And by fanged, I mean VAMPIRE style fangs.
    But the guy's armour looked awesome. I took it and strapped it to my Horse (which was a Clydesdale, by the way). All the time, looking cautiously over my shoulder at the Paladin the whole day until we camped for the night.

    In my watch, I moved to a place out of the way and still in view of the party, too afraid of the wrath of the Paladin, who I had caught staring at me a couple of times. Also, quietly playing my lute.
    "Dave, you'd better not make another Keter."
    The next day, no violence broke out of any sort, I asked if we could fast track the days until we got to the monastery, as all I'd be doing was plinking at my lute and humming to myself.

    But at night, I would bring out the skull and try to talk to it. It glowed of evil with the Paladin, and my Detect magic, too. Eventually, making a Bardic knowledge test showed me that those fangs and powerful glow of evil and magic... I pricked my finger and let the blood drip onto the fangs.
    Kai says I hear a sigh come from the skull and a briefly flickering glow. I leave it alone.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)11:11 No.14889996
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    Eventually we reach the monastery. I dismount and pick Lilith up, telling her that she'll be safe here and that its been 'fun' but it's time to part ways (thinking THANK FUCK!). I carry her, as she stares blankly at me, to the MASSIVE iron gate. I knock.
    I knock again.
    I put Lilith down, and Natasha pushes the door open and I just usher Lilith in.
    "As you push Lilith into the gardens after Natasha, you notice that there are many dead Monks littering the pathways."
    "Oh, yeah. Everyone here is dead. And you notice Natasha go inside the monastery keep."
    "Um, at least there's Natasha to look after Lilith."
    Kai goes quiet, and ends the gaming session.

    >Kyle tells me later that Kai was making Lilith into the DMPC. THAT was meant to be my wingman.
    >I specifically requested a Rogue and/or Ranger.
    >Get the Sorc I requested, the Sorc I wanted gone, and an abomination against the setting. None of which fight like I would.
    Ah, fuck. He's beginning to crack.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)11:30 No.14890101
    I really want to get rid of this child. All she does is want stuff and stare at me blankly (This was the DMPC?), and doesn't even seem to register the CORPSES in the courtyard as she prods and pokes around, even stopping to inspect a corpse, she just doesn't seem to notice that it's a BAD DAY. Then Natasha comes out of the keep with weapons and armour loaded into something on her back, and a mute little boy.
    Oh no. I've got the Paladin giving me more kids to look after! NOOOOOOO!
    "Sal, we need to take the two children to Stahl."
    "Nreearrrrrrgh. How far is that?"
    "4 weeks."
    I just put my head on the table. This last in-game week of being the only player has just raped my mind. 8 sessions for 7 days, as fast tracked as possible. I ask if we can just do a couple of things along the way and just ignore the boring time. This is not fun.
    So he listens.

    The two encounters are a band of highwaymen accost us. It turns out they're also heretics. I apologise for killing several of them and give them the Skull of the vampire demon Falchion-wielding, Demon-armour-wearing, evil-glowing skeleton of a dead 'hero'. They like this. The Paladin has hard words with me and I just shrug. It stopped them from killing us when I'm the only man, and the evil in that thing will either give them nothing or kill them all, so all's well.
    The 2nd encounter was a few Hobgoblins that were raiding a caravan of pilgrims.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)11:44 No.14890185
    Natasha had given Sal a ring at the monastery that would prevent one death, still counting as a death if needed, but I am put to half HP. The Hobgoblins must be stopped; there are civilian families in this caravan and by the looks of the corpses strewn around the area, all warriors or guards are dead. We take it upon ourselves to stop them. We dismount and Sal fights hard against 1, besting it on combat, while Sarah destroys the other. Then the last Hobgoblin charges Sal, bringing his Large Greataxe into Sal's side. I die, and the ring flash-heals me to half HP but I drop my 1,000 faces glamour. I stand back up and make ready for a beating, fighting defensively for a bit but not giving ground because Sarah's right behind me and I'll be damned if I'm gonna be responsible for MORE pain in her.
    "Dave, she has more HP than you."
    Grapple Hobgoblin, pin, Coup-de-grace blood trader. 6d6+9.

    After the near-death experience, I remark that the 'Paladin' sure did a lot of help... just sitting there out of harm's way.
    I ask why she doesn't like helping good people against unnecessary death.
    Kai goes quiet for a bit, I can see the rage building.
    "Dave. You're not very observant. You can't make those kind of claims. You don't know Natasha. You never talk to her or ask about her, you don't. KNOW. HER!"
    "No. I've had it with the way you've been constantly complaining about my DMing (I hadn't) and the NPCs you asked for (I loved Sarah, and the other 3 were shit, but I never complained about them... nor did I ask for them)!"
    He glowers at me.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)11:45 No.14890188
    ... The Kai has returned. I was a good month or so of gameplay, but he seems to have broken under pressure.
    Kyle, who has been watching but not playing, nudges me. We both know what I want to say, and I feel that now is the time.
    "So, I'm not allowed to notice that the tsundere bitch is living a lie?"
    Then Kyle joins in: "Yeah. I mean, seriously, how does a half-vampire woman get into the Paladin's order?"
    And the final point: "The only way is if Kronar, son of man, became a Vampire, impregnated the Paladin's grandmaster, and the bitch was BORN with a suit of +1 Full plate and Holy avenger on her person."
    Silent rage. Ends session. Starts reading through PDFs and writing notes.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/11(Wed)11:47 No.14890200
    Wow. Horseback Gypsy daycare.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/11(Wed)11:51 No.14890228
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    >"The only way is if Kronar, son of man, became a Vampire, impregnated the Paladin's grandmaster, and the bitch was BORN with a suit of +1 Full plate and Holy avenger on her person."
    >Kronar, son of man, became a Vampire and impregnated the Paladin's grandmaster
    >impregnated the Paladin's grandmaster
    >> Anonymous 05/11/11(Wed)12:03 No.14890325
    >That night, Kyle suggested I jump the shark. I told him no, Kai's been good lately and Kyle just shakes his head.
    >"Man, everything he's doing in this campaign is made specifically to fuck you over. Subtly, but he's doing it."
    >Such as? Well, Paladin in power (is 3 levels higher than EQUIVALENT, which is 2 levels higher than I am... so I'm fucked) is named Natasha... There was a fallen and unnamed evil fuck-ass just on the side of the road wearing Demon armour and a Falchion... Lilith is a little girl and I'm one of this chick Sarah's cousins...
    >Shit. I ask Kyle and Grace what I should do, and they recommend that I get all creepy and incestuous with Sarah. The thought crosses my mind more than once.
    I decide for an in-between. I'm going to get REALLY close to her. I'll let myself feel Sal's love for her and FORCE it to be strong. Little did I know that Kai was going to help that along mightily, and little did he know, too.

    So, in the next session, Kai gets me to follow the remaining pilgrims, who offer food (which we're running low on) in return for protection. I take it readily, trying to convince the young women in the caravan of the awesomeness of my natural state. There's an old biddy who'll have none of it, but I keep shooting her down. Feels good, man.
    I witnessed Natasha activate a standing stone with some blood at dusk. Gathered around it were several troupes of Gypsies. My heart skipped a beat and I searched for a familiar face... No-one I recognised.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/11(Wed)12:11 No.14890396
    But there were minstrels. And troubadours of all sorts. Kai goes into great length describing it and I'm put off-guard. We all get into it and listen as Kai describes the scene. I'm sitting close to Sarah at the time, but Kai says I notice a couple of the pilgrim girls making scared looks at me, and then begins describing Natasha... pretty much the Kai. Remember how I said there was one in every campaign? Well, we've found her!
    Natasha the Paladin is the Kai.
    Long description... our faces collectively drop a bit. It's true; all of our fears are true.
    The last month and a bit of gameplay has been a lead-up. THIS is the beginning of the campaign.

    >I'll let you all ponder what that means for a bit, while I write up a massive chunk and possibly die for some hours... but not before posting more.
    >But, one more (relatively) fast post coming before that.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/11(Wed)12:31 No.14890530
    I started plinking away at my Lute. Kai immediately jumped down my throat. Apparantly I wasn't being a proper Bard. If I wanted to level up in it again, I had to write Sal some songs.
    So I shrug and move to a bandstand.
    "Sal's been working on a few, actually." and put on Holy Diver... in the dark ages... augmented by basic Bardic magic to sound like KILLSWITCH ENGAGE.
    Using the lute as an electric guitar, slapping his hands on the lute's base to make the 'drums' and singing in a strong loud voice.
    Completely counter to current culture.
    I was applauded by Kyle and Grace as I decided to sing aloud along with it. Kai looked shocked, as I hate raspy screaming in music most of the time, but I went along with when the singer of the song did. The last thing he expected was me, the non-singer or poet, to break out into song while using a guitar hero guitar as a prop.

    Then after the awesomeness, Sal was met by an entertainer... a 'magician' from another Gypsy tribe.
    The man put an egg into Sal's hand and crushes it. It's dry. Wow. ¬_¬
    "There's a note of paper in the Egg." I read it... and this is what I read:
    >Clan Ashram is returned from abroad. Clan Morass is dead.
    Clan Morass, my clan, my family... all dead.
    I was told to get INTO this character. To feel as he does, to method-whore this guy. And I honestly felt like crying, Sal was that stricken by it.
    I hid the note in my sleeve and decided not to tell Sarah. She was now my whole world.
    "So, when you tell Sarah, she--"
    "HEY! FUCK no! I NEVER tell Sarah ANYTHING about this until I'm sure it's time!"
    "You heard."
    I want to grieve and recover before I tell her, so I can be strong for her when she needs me. And besides, every moment she is happy is a good thing for me.
    But now I am sure. Kai is most definitely back.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/11(Wed)12:46 No.14890616
    Soo... you lost your trip or what?

    Also, I'm waiting for more
    >> Anonymous 05/11/11(Wed)13:52 No.14891128
    bumpidy bump??
    >> Panda 05/11/11(Wed)13:56 No.14891173
    Bump for storytime I wish to know what happens
    >> Anonymous 05/11/11(Wed)14:05 No.14891245
    It has been known to happen

    He did say he would not be posting for a time
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)14:16 No.14891339
    Thanks for the bumps, guys.
    It's 4:04AM here and I want sleep, death, or violently angry sex. Sleep is likely as I have combat tomorrow and have had it today...

    Still, I will attempt at keeping the delays brief and rewarded.
    BACK TO TYPAN. It's all being typed at once to copy & paste it in quick succession. My folly for not doing so before.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)14:21 No.14891384
    And the trip died. For a bit, anyway. This connection was getting weird tonight. I may actually disconnect and find someone's wifi to leech.

    But, something I'd like to see... what you guys think I'm going to do as this plot thikens. TEN INTERNETS FOR THE MAN WHO GUESSES IT.

    And if I fail, I'll copy it all and paste it in a non-failed thread. Failsafe!
    >> Anonymous 05/11/11(Wed)14:21 No.14891387
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)14:33 No.14891479
    Last junk post, I promise. I just wanted to let you know what's going on...
    As I inject compacted liquid meth into my brain (dem energy drinks, man) I shout out
    "I feel a wall o' text coming on!"
    As I sit in a friend's toilet after banging the door down to let me steal his precious wifi.

    God I love my non-Kai friends.
    >essayease local
    It knows what I'm doing!
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)14:43 No.14891576
    I work hard at building a paranoid conspiracy theory that would make Dispater proud. If I so much as give an INKLING to Kai that Sarah means as much to Sal as she does, she's gonna turn into another Kai drone and I don't want that. Ideal state is either raped fey-kissed cousin or secretly super-strong family bond. But right now, Sal is feeling like shit.
    I turn to Kai and actually ask him history as I have ranks in the knowledge and Bardic knowledge also often applies to it. Apparently the Paladins used to be a major order that marched against the world's Vampire population, but because the church was assured by the rulers of the Undead that they'd play nice from then on, the Paladins were either disbanded or ordered to stand down... and they foolishly did, and were killed for their trouble.
    I wrote a song about it, to the tune of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xoDgbVdrj8
    Along the lines of 'as I rest my head each night, I am plagued by memories of divinity's failure to protect the mortals', and the "That's my lullaby" parts are pretty much verbatim.
    >A symphony of death, oh my! That's my lullaby!
    I am becoming the recidivist poet of the lands. We finally get to the city of Stahl and Sal sells Keter's old gear, gets a mint for it and commissions a pair of matching weapons similar to his style. Alchemical silver alloyed with Mithral in a Long sword, Short sword, and 'assassin spike'. Including giving Sal the perma-shocker Altair sports.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)14:52 No.14891653
    It is by now that I have managed to convince Kyle and Grace to join in the game again. So in exchange for a pair of kids (I finally got rid of Lilith despite my disguises and 1,000 faces (which also does that demoralising thing Kytons can do, I forgot to write that) she would always be there... so I sold her.) I got an 10th level fighter, and Sorc 8 / Fighter 2...
    More Sorcs and more fighters. Again, I'm the only skill-oriented character. Kyle's fighter was faking a Monk, though. It was awesome.
    Improved unarmed, Improved Grapple, Two-weapon fighting, Focus: Unarmed, Specialisation: unarmed, Improved two-weapon fighting. Etc.
    He was a Werewolf hunter who was going to level into Reaping Mauler ASAP, who always had some Mandrake root on him.
    In the future we'd go mandrake harvesting together, was nice clean fun. Kai disapproved and had a Shadow hunter attack us.
    The Sorc was a Fey'ri, like Sal's mother, but she never let it on. She didn't want to do much, just wield a massive Martel deFer made of Cold Iron and Silver alloy.
    Kai immediately started making quests for her to read up on the hammer's history and rebuild it to its former glory.
    "Nope. Don't care. It's just a hammer to me."

    I was a Bard 4 / Rogue 3. Started getting 2nd level spells. Feelsgoodman. Now we're ready for some action!
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)15:02 No.14891762
    So I would stoop in every city we came across, Kai DM fiating the Paladin letting the city wards down for the other players (we all had a way of getting by this: My grappling hook, Kyle's lead sheeting under his monk robe, and Grace's hidden alignment spells, not that it mattered) and belt out songs wherever I could.
    Songs about the world dying and the times of darkness soon lifting to make a clean world... Dystopian horror written in songs to the tune of Disney musical numbers. It was fun. Occasionally, I'd borrow songs directly from Disturbed and stuff like that, but with the majority, it was my lyrics to classic movies' music.

    We were ignoring Natasha, the superfluous bitch that she was. We travelled, kicked some ass, and did quite well for ourselves. Steadily using RP rather than grind to get our XP.
    Kai also told me, "If Sal makes enough of a following for the Mochtahr, and/or has enough kids, ValTen will come to the world and make the Mochtahr widespread and established in this world..." With an evil glee in his eye, knowing that Sal believed himself a cursed bloodline that should not breed, therefor placing all hope in the clan living on onto Sarah. He would jump over her before she could say our clan name at every opportunity... We didn't know what killed my family and I would like to keep them from knowing they missed a spot.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)15:15 No.14891897
    So, fortwall was Sarah's destination. The city we were meant to find our family waiting for us at. It was 3 months away. Natasha says she needs to go to some city called Prospero. As little as I want to follow her lead, Sal agrees. Better to keep Sarah from being suspicious by having the boss-Paladin telling us where to go, and make Sarah dislike her. Kai cottons on and decides that Prospero is on the way to Fortwall.
    Fucking hell.
    It goes through a swamp.
    Really? Gayyyyyy.
    Full of wild monsters... well, of course.

    So here we are, riding through a swampy road and goblins attack us. Swamp Goblins, so they're all breathing through reeds as they swim through the water. We have now gt 2 Sorcs throwing AoE attacks everywhere, and while I'm a 7th level sneaky-combat oriented guy I'm standing firm without getting to use my flanking sneak attacks alongside 2 fighter types. Kai really did a number on me with that one, the only way I'm gonna flank something is if I contest a fighter while being thick in enemies. But I do. I jump over the Goblins and plunge a blade into their spine. I'm granting bonuses to hit and gaining sneak attack finishers for the things the others don't kill... but I start running low on HP.
    So I grapple a Goblin. Do well enough to lift it in the air and Blood trade. Still getting swarmed. I hit another goblin with my new friend and blood trade again, it's dead and so dessicated it breaks dryly into pieces when I bash that 2nd goblin with it again.
    Sarah moves in between the 2 fighters and readies a Burning hands.
    "Roll reflex save, Dave."
    Trust Kai to make an NPC attack a PC with an AoE when they're low on health (yes, despite blood trading like a boss)
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)15:25 No.14891983
    So I pass my reflex save and several Goblins die. I describe my Evasion giving me no damage as crouching suddenly and holding a goblin in the way of the flames. I get some bonus XP and level.
    More Bard. Get 2 attacks a turn now! Cool.
    Next on the agenda... Blood Magus.
    Through Bard.
    Taking "Bind Soulmeld" feat with the Mantle of flame. Hey, I was eligable a long time ago.
    And then using it to be an Incandescent Champion... I was planning to be BIG-TIME money. Worming my way into Incarnum through feats...

    But then, only a short time after the Goblins, a Dire crocodile leaps out of the water and locks down on Sal.
    I swear all I did was Blood Trade and get out of pinning while it held me underwater. Kyle's grappler single-handedly coming to the rescue by OUT GRAPPLING A DIRE CROC.
    Here I was. out of Blood trades and still nearly dying. I was just happy we were near a small ramshackle village. The sort of village you expect to smell various stoats getting spiced up and roasted while two people play duelling Banjos... so Sal did.
    As Kai began describing this town we all pitched in, naming the town Gashed Cow.
    >Home of the smashed chromosome.
    >Where they deliberately drink the dirty, parasite-ridden water rather than the clean stuff.
    >Where the women get pregnant constantly for that 9 months of sweet quiet comfort from each kid before they fall out and begin thrashing about and never stop.
    >Where the Deep south sends its retards.
    And we slept there that night... I woke up the next day FANGING with a -5 to will saves.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)15:31 No.14892031
    The fun thing is, Sarah is human. Fey-kissed, but HUMAN. The others in the party count as Outsiders and Undead. I can't blood trade with them, and my interaction with the horses (though they're animals) is a seat, so they don't even register to me as a player or character.

    I want to hide in a obscure part of Gashed Cow and feed on one of the locals. But apparently, they're all Aberrations. I chuckle IRL but Sal is desperate.
    I go to Natahsa and demand a map to go ahead. But she flat-out denies me. I ask Kai to just co-operate. I need to do this for the character's well-being and that of the rest of the party. No dice. I have to go with the rest of them. I spend a day irritably trying to distract myself from the one thing that I want right now.
    That one thing?
    The coppery tang of my cousin's blood in my mouth.
    Not good.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)15:44 No.14892167
    So the next day, Sal wakes up at the butt-crack of dawn. -10 to will saves, -3 to other saves, and Sarah's veins are peeking out through her skin in that oh, so seductive way.
    To make things worse, Kai describes the scene as we ride. Every hour in-game I have to roll a d20... DC19 eh? Rollan 20s is all that saves me, and I save for 3 hours.
    1 hour "You hear the sound of blood rushing in your ears."
    2 hours "You realise it's not your blood, and in fact, it's Sarah's."
    3 hours "The silken skin on the nape of her neck is drawn delicately close to the veins there, you can SEE them in the corner of your eye..."
    "I'm biting the reins. My eyes are tightly shut."
    Kai rolls a random d100.
    "And you've got a hard-on."
    Oh just Kill me now, I remember thinking. Kyle and Grace were having a bit of a laugh, the two of them were hitting one each other IC at the front of the formation. They didn't see a bit of this. Sarah's right next to me. Natasha's being rearguard.
    But with that last bit they stop laughing and go tensely quiet. Something horrible is about to happen and we all know it.
    Only Kai is smiling.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)15:51 No.14892226
    >Natasha has, long ago, asked Sal how often he needs to feed. His response was "Whenever it's life or death. It heals me. That's all I know."
    >"But what about the thirst?"
    >"It's only strong when I drink more. And it creeps up stronger and stronger for some days. Why are you asking these things?"
    >"So I can keep an eye on you."
    Fucking Half-vampire Paladins. They think that because they're totured souls torn between their noble human side and the eternally powerful Vampire side, that they know all about all blood-drinking beings out there.

    Suffice to say, Sal knows Natasha's watching him right now. Glaring at him like a hawk. He doesn't like this, being kept on a leash like this.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)16:02 No.14892330
    It's 6 to 6... Stitch's time.
    All is still well. I am still machining away. Ugh. I'm gonna hate myself today.

    So, heaving breaths and groans of ecstatic and torturous desire are emanating from Sal. It's the 4th hour. IC the others are getting concerned thanks to the noise. But the Tiefling and Fey'ri at the front have no idea what's wrong with Sal. They suspect it might be disease, as he's pale and sweating... clucking like a junkie desperate for a fix, which he is.
    "Dave, roll a will save." 7
    I groan deeply and scowl at the d20. Kai opens his big mouth and is about to speak when I put up a hand to silence him.
    "Remember. I'll do it myself."
    The silence is think with expectation. It's a consensus that I'm very vicious when uncontrollably frenzied. I play a true berserk when my character's been subverted by it and whatnot... but no-one (but Kai, judging by his face) wants to see this.
    I sit dejectedly for a bit and then just mutter 'fuck it' under my breath as I shake my head.
    "I flicker in and out of my glamour a few times, each time I go back in, it's a slightly different man. Then it just goes to grey."
    Kyle pinches his face and breathes out deeply. He knows what I do that for.
    "I carefully put my feet in the right position on the stirrups to do this; I stare fixedly at the nape of Sarah's neck with a tremendous lust."
    Kai: "Sarah asks 'What's wrong, cousin?'"
    "Kai, can I take a will save?"
    "No. You're in the frenzy."
    "I mean to speak to her before I go for it."
    "... fine. DC10" 12
    (as Sal) "Nothing's wrong, Sarah. Soon it'll be ok."
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)16:15 No.14892440
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    I say "Surprise round" and leap off the horse in a jumping charging bullrush.
    That's a lot f checks, but I make them all. Sarah's knocked clean off of her horse and lands violently on her back, Sal on top of her, grabbing her by the head and collarbone.

    We all roll initiative.
    Me: 17+3
    Kyle: 14+2
    Grace: 8+3
    Sarah: 1+3
    Natasha: 15+1 (Higher Dex, but full plate)
    I begin to do my turn and Kai just interrupts me saying that Natasha has Improved initiative... which would put hers at the same as mine.
    But then he says that his is higher, because armour doesn't impede initiative bonuses, apparently. Takes us all unanimously PROVING it to him that it does to get him to back down. So he sits back, full of rage, and lets my turn unravel as he waits to see what I'm doing at the same time as him.
    "Grapple check"
    "She's already grappled, I'm saying, Dave. She's pinned and the shock has made her helpless."
    "I pull on the parts I've latched onto and Bite her right in the soft meat. Hard as I can and drink deep."
    Kyle scoffs a bit and mentions one of my hands may as well be on her tits, but Sal's not interested in that right now. I roll and Kai says "That's not necessary."
    Turns out Natasha had a surprise round all of her own. Hers was Dismounting, running up to me, grabbing me, throwing me off of Sarah, and pinning me down after blocking my attempt to grapple her.
    In a surprise round. With sub-par rolls.
    Then came her turn. She pinned me without a problem. Kyle came along and Aided my pin. Grace's gone to try and comfort Sarah, but she's got that shelled look on her face and just stares at me as I Roar to the heavens. for ValTen to smite my enemies.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)16:27 No.14892544
    I Bull's strength and Escape the grapple by some miracle, but charging at Sarah provokes AoOs and so Natasha trips me, then Kyle pins me again.

    I'm proper fucked, and Natasha takes off her gauntlet and cuts her arm. Then she puts her foul tasting, half-vampire blood into Sal's mouth. Kai forces the idea that her blood is drinkable by Mochtahr into us and says that I drain 20HP from her in 1 go. I'm fine. I'm recovered.
    If there's one thing that made me feel worse than violently assaulting and nearly possibly 'raping' my cousin in a blood lust... It's Kai just ending the moment he half-engineered on a whim with his favourite "I GET 2 FULL TURNS AS AN AOO" trick. It was rich drama, so in the spirit of it all, I kicked Natasha in the groin plate and got up all sane again.
    I took one look with unclouded eyes at Sarah, saw the fearful look in her eyes - that one look I dreaded more in her than anyone else in the world - and lost it. Tears springing to my eyes, I got on my horse and kicked it into a gallop back to Gashed Cow.
    "I'm going to keep going away until one of you guys comes and gets me, you two." I say to Kyle and Grace. The discomfort of all three of us is palatable.
    Kai sighs sharply and derisively, making Natasha get up onto her horse and charge after me.
    It takes him 1 turn to outrun my Clydesdale on his horse and push me off the back of my mount, landing on my back and skidding 10'. She stops out of charging range and draws a longbow, leveling it at my head.
    "Are you sane?" She calls out. I stay on the ground. Eyes squinted tightly shut to hold back more furious tears. I say nothing, I won't give that bitch the satisfaction. It takes Natasha a while to get the point, so she rides up to me and holds the bow to my face again, at point-blank range.
    "ARE YOU SANE?" She demands.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)16:41 No.14892650
    I still say nothing. Sal trembles with sorrow and incandescent rage.
    "ARE YOU--"
    "YYEESS!!!" I shout out. So loud IRL that it makes all three of the others jump in their seats. I lunge upwards into the arrow, daring Natasha to fire with my actions, and spit in her face; the spit still tinted red with her own blood. I stand up, clean myself off, and make to walk back to Gashed Cow.
    I have the shits so bad I actually need to. Kyle and Grace are given a 1/2 hour of RP time. They deserve it, the poor troopers.
    When I return, both of them look unhappy, Kyle's face between sympathy and pity.
    "So I'm going back to Gashed Cow."
    "No Dave. Natasha pulls up alongside you and picks you up onto the horse."
    "I'm not going to ride with any fraud of a so-called 'Paladin' with a dominance fetish just to go back and face my worst nightmare again and again."
    "*Sigh* Sal, you never ask about me, so cut it with the remark--
    "No! You ask about me, sure! But it's all to make sure the 'evil within me' can be controlled! All your asking is just profiling me, testing any possible means to control me... but I'll not serve you. I'll not follow your orders. Your entire creed failed to stop one HALF of what you are, taint-breed."
    "You can't say those things! You have no--"
    "No idea? What makes you think I WANT to know you?" Sal cries out, close to just screaming out wordlessly.
    "I was a Nomad before I met you! Now I'm on a forced march to YOUR missions, leading YOUR life. I was my own man, and I had a purpose in life! A purpose that YOU RUINED!"
    Not even Kai could out-drama that line. So Natasha softens a bit. "I know how hard it is to lose your family."
    "I was only related to a few of them." Sal growls. "And I never told you about the death of my clan. I never told you anything OF my clan. How can you know that?"
    Kai's eyes widen a bit. Oops, gotcha.
    "What. Has. Your. BASTARD of an order. DONE?!?"
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 05/11/11(Wed)16:47 No.14892704

    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)16:54 No.14892750
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    Natasha dismounts. Shoulders drooped. Says "Nothing I know of. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so harsh." she puts a hand on his shoulder. Sal slaps her with the back of his hand across the face and squirms out of her grasp.
    "Don't ever touch me again. You've taken the two things that matter to me, twisted them, and used them against me. For that, never touch me."
    With that, Sal trudges back to Gashed Cow again, and I hear "Smite Evil."
    Kai hasn't once said my alignment even tilts back to Neutral from Good. It should be at least told when an alignment CHANGES, so I'm still good-aligned. Though Smite evil will always work on a Mochtahr, I'm still a good man, so this smite is total BS to execute. Kai says the damage is changed to nonlethal and I am knocked cold.

    I come to in the saddle, tied to the stirrups and my hands tied to the front of the saddle. I keep my glamour down. No point in hiding it for these people anymore; Sal is a monster and that's all he feels right now.

    >... Guys? Can I get some bumps in writefaggotry critique? I'm tired and sad.
    >I'm gonna rest my fingers for a while, they've been smashing this keyboard for 1.5 hours constantly and my joints are cracking in all knuckles and wrists as I type.
    >I may also die. The crystal meth in a can wore out. Note to all of you: Free Energy brand energy drinks lasts about 1/2 a long as Red bull, which lasts 1/2 as long as V or Samedi. Just so's you know.
    >Thoughts on the story? This is why I don't play Kai's games anymore AT ALL.
    "Uuuuurr, play this game and actually get into character, Dave. I don't want you just playing 'I kill it with my axe' characters saying you're a Stanisvlaskian wannabe."
    Well, fuck you, Kai.
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 05/11/11(Wed)16:57 No.14892773
    Kai needs a serious shit kicking, that's what I think. A damn fascinating read, though.
    >> MTG guy 05/11/11(Wed)16:57 No.14892775
    >play your character
    >You do just that
    >stop being a dick and ruining my game by not playing your character

    You should just kill kai
    >> Anonymous 05/11/11(Wed)16:58 No.14892783

    The drama in this is glorious and amazing.

    You're flowing along incredibly well, all told. I've no complaints, only praise.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)17:31 No.14893028
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    Fuck. This brings back the rage and sorrow.
    Even a shadow of the way it felt at the time is a lot, and it started off so well, too.

    >Anyway. I now breathe V and Tea and munchies, being supplied by my neckbeardy friends in appreciation of my stealing their WiFi and typing this 'glory'. Also listening to Lustmord to get into the mood I was feeling at the time. Blood Deep In Dread FTW! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMSiZ0TA3fg
    >Also, I like the idea of typing in greentext when non-story related. I think I'll be doing that from now on in these threads.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)17:48 No.14893171
    And so, tethered to the back of a large horse, defeated and silent, Sal sees something that he really doesn't need to see.
    Kai describes a Gypsy caravan in disarray. We're half a day away from Prospero, and we see a Gypsie caravan? Sal's heart aches; he's now realised that he can never go back home, no more for him the relatively carefree life of community. Indentured for something he doesn't understand to a Paladin he doesn't want to know. And now there's a reminder of everything he's lost. No doubt Sarah's feeling nostalgic at the moment, but she doesn't know that at Fortwall, there's nothing but ghosts waiting for them.
    This alone is bad enough... but then the screams are heard.

    Sal strains to see what's the cause of the commotion. There's a man in a breastplate, white and red tabard featuring a sunburst cross... A Holy knight. A Templar... And he runs his Bastard sword through the back of a boy no older than 13, who is carrying nothing.
    Sal thrashes once and glares hatefully at Natasha, who is impassively watching the scene. He shoots a glance at Sarah when he hears her gasp and bring her hand to her mouth, tears beginning to well up in her eyes.
    This is just fucking great. Sal thrashes wildly to weaken the ropes around his hands, but he's not strong enough.
    "I use Bull's strength."
    "That's enough for tonight, guys. I'm getting pretty tired." Says Kai, takes his USB out of my laptop (I'll let anyone use it for PDFs and Office. It's only fair, right? We all live together and I'm the only one with a laptop) and retires for the night.
    Me livid with rage as I let a memory of this exact moment of betrayal bleed into my own psyche... and let the hatred at not being able to even break free until next game bleed into Sal.
    It is about now, that I prepare to end the world.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)17:51 No.14893194
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    Oops, forgot to mention. I had work for the next 3 gaming sessions. So they waited. 3 weeks of that mental image of Sal Morass thrashing at the rope tethers holding him in place like a rabid animal.
    The hate. The Glorious hate.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)18:06 No.14893295
    The next gaming session FINALLY rolls around!
    I have to give Kai credit for this move, any lesser man would have forgotten the howling wide-eyed fury felt at that moment. They would have calmed down much over the 3 weeks of no evils being visited upon their dignity and soul such as this. But in the last 2 days leading up to this session, I was only getting more and more livid at it. I would have my satisfaction.
    Kyle and Grace could feel it so much that Grace mentioned she could SEE it just flowing off of me like a lambent flame, and wondered why I was mad.
    Gaming time.
    "I use Bull's Strength, and I take 20 on TEARING THE ROPES APART!"
    2 minutes later, my bonds are broken. I kick my Clydesdale into a gallop and charge at the Templar, growling softly with each breath in and out. The horse fails to run him down, but my Longsword slices him well. I jump off and ready myself for his counter-attack. He steps close, attacks me thrice, only putting me down to 1/3 HP.
    "You'll need to fight better than THAT!" I roar as I flurry with a multitude of sword strokes and a lunging jugular bite. The Templar survives the onslaught. Good I want him to suffer.
    His turn, he tries to trip me. "Does he have Improved trip?" Asks Kyle. Kai freezes.
    "I BLOOD TRADE WITH MY AOO!" I yell, dealing a horrific critical and securing my survival. The Templar withdraws.
    I spend my turn Manifesting my natural Biofeedback and positioning myself between the Templar and the surviving Gypsies.
    "Dave, you notice more killed women and children."
    "Not something you wanna tell me right now, Kai." Templar's turn. He charges, he has Shock trooper or something and I'm hit for some horrible back-blasting power blow that careens me into a carriage. I stand strong despite it. My turn, I--
    "Natasha's surprise round."
    "Natasha trample charges you, Sal."
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)18:21 No.14893442
    My DR prevents my death... just.
    I am so angry that Kai thinks I'll make another mistake, but I reach that calm on the other end of rage.
    Sal latches on to the Horse Natasha rides.
    "Blood trade the horse." - Me
    "Blindness." - Grace
    "What?" - All of us.
    Grace doesn't do much in times like these, she likes to keep out of shitty inter-player drama, but she actually steps in, casting Blind on Natasha.
    I heal some more, and Natasha fails to touch me.
    Templar does another charge, but Kyle reminds Kai that I'm sandwiched between a horse and a Carriage. There's no charging avenue. Kai looks disappoint, but takes it in stride; maneuvering the Templar to better destroy Sal next turn. No such luck.
    Sal charges himself. Kai laughs.
    >Kai's 'laugh' is a rasping harsh intake of air like a gasp for air but with a terrible smile accompanying it. If he ever ACTUALLY laughs, it's high pitched.
    "You're a fan of this one, Dave. Hold the Line."
    "So? Combat expertise +2, +2AC from broadsword, +2AC from Buckler, +1AC from two-weapon defence (1 level of fighter for that)."
    AC totaled 29, not bad for light armour. The Templar misses by rolling low, and I take a desperate chance: Assassin's spike.
    Assassin's spike: Replace gauntlet. 1d4+Finesse, 19-20/x4. I roll the d20 after verbally offering a quick prayer to Malal, lord of true Chaos.
    19. I roll again, verbally offering a prayer to Zhuvassin, he who denies strength.
    12... good enough. 4d4+12 damage. I deliver my contact paralysis poison, Kai rolls his save, and foolishly offers a verbal prayer to Necoho.
    All is right with the world.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)18:34 No.14893573
    Grace casts Hold person on Natasha, and I, still trembling with hatred for her kind, sheath my weapons. I pick up the paralysed Templar's blade and hold it in both my hands. My 2nd Bull's strength of the day now activates. The Templar is slumped on his lower legs, I push him back with my boot, and close my eyes as I plunge this man's own sword down between his collarbones.
    "I suppose that sword is your temple, Dave?" No, this sword is my reminder of your 'Paladins'.
    "No I'm keeping this one."

    Looting is done, and Kyle finds a scroll on the Templar's person. Kai describes it thusly:
    'Hereby do I, Lachdanaan duKendaar, Grand master of the holy order of the one true light, grant the bearer of this parchment the divine sanction to do as he deems needed. This, my chosen Paladin, has authority over any but the church itself.'
    Kai's an anti-theist, by the way. The only religious orders or even RELIGIONS or even GODS! he describes any more than fleetingly are always out to kill and rape and pillage. But this?
    Killing children?
    How does Paladin not fall?
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)18:43 No.14893640
    "So you leave the sword in the Paladin, and--"
    "No. I remember this NOT being Keter, Kai."
    "Uh, I..."
    ... Kai's uncomfortable. I cast Identify.
    >Grudgebringer: +2 Keen Bastard sword is always under the effects of Bane against anything it strikes. Also, no act done using this sword will change the wielder's alignment or break any code of conduct.
    Well. Well. Well...
    "Is this man you defended one of your order, Natasha?"
    "Dave, you choose now to ask about her?"
    "No, I'm asking about the corpse. NATASHA! Is he one of yours?"
    ... Yes."
    I spit on his corpse and all 3 players begin giving him a Heretic's burial. Face-down, unmarked, and hands cut off. Fuck this guy. He deserves hell.

    By now, we're chaining the Half-vampire down to the ground and using VERY heavy stones to both weigh the chains down and peg them into the ground. No chances taken.
    The gypsies of this clan have begun returning to the scene, peering out of the woods and between carriages. Those few with any weapons wield them inexpertly. They were not a warrior clan, and they were being killed.
    No answer.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)18:54 No.14893738
    Natasha doesn't answer. So we leave her there. Sarah's finally done something. He joins the gypsies in taking the bodies into a funeral pyre. The clan's Druid casts flamestrike on the pyre and we watch the poor innocents burn. Sal is overcome by the dreadful sight of it all (and obviously the reminder of what must have happened to his own clan) and goes to comfort Sarah.
    "I gently, delicately, lightly, however it takes for you to get that I'm not hurting her, Kai, put my hands on the side of her shoulders as I stand close, ashen-faced."
    "She jumps at your touch."
    "At this I clench my eyes shut for a moment, letting the loose tears out."
    "And you feel her tense up."
    Similarly gently, I stroke her arm in that empathetic way. But Kai raises an eyebrow and says that Sarah curls up into herself a bit and whispers something.

    Perception: "If you're going to do it, please do it in private."
    I think it's safe to assume that was a heart-breaking thing to say. Sal gently turns Sarah around again and despite her looking at the ground obviously full of fear, he draws her close. She just melts into him and starts sobbing, shuddering as she does. Sal just holds her, a face full of purpose as he forces himself to watch the fire, telling himself the tears are because his eyes are exposed to the heat.

    Somewhere in the mourning crowd, a Tiefling's and a Fey'ri's hands meet.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)18:56 No.14893756
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    I announce that Sal is writing a new song in his head. It will be finished before we leave Prospero.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/11(Wed)18:59 No.14893795
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    >Cousin traumatised by near-rape & near-murder as Sal tries to console her
    >Two adventurers along for the ride finding each other at an emotional funeral pyre
    So... much... DRAMA!!!
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)19:03 No.14893832
    Sorry guys, gotta go do a thing, called paying rent.
    Bastards, making me stop typing.
    Be back in an hour?
    >> Anonymous 05/11/11(Wed)19:08 No.14893868
    where is picture from :<
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 05/11/11(Wed)19:09 No.14893883
    The fuckers.

    Wakfu, one of the verboten topics. You could try asking in /co/
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)19:09 No.14893885
    Oh, before I DO go...
    Sal is currently a Bard 5, Fighter 2, Rogue 3, Blood Magus 2.
    It is almost time for his revenge upon the world that has shown him so much pain.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/11(Wed)19:10 No.14893901
    ty :)
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)19:42 No.14894264
    After the bonfire dies down, the Gypsies ask Sal who in the fuck he is. Sarah's still in his arms and these people are Gypsies, so he hazards the clan name.
    "Sal Morass."
    "Oh, we've heard that the Morass clan was... erm..."
    "Yes, we were attacked by ruthless Eldritch raiders. My cousin Sarah and I took the source of the raids far away from the rest of the clan."
    "Oh, so you--"
    "We are meeting them at Fortwall."
    "But surely you--"
    "At Fortwall."

    Sarah breaks from Sal's light grip and jogs to Natasha, the two of them talking. After some time, Sarah sighs and withdraws.
    Wait, she opened up while talking to Natasha, but now she's coming back, she's all timid?
    "Kaaai... Perception check on Sarah. You KNOW what I'm looking for."
    "Yes, Sarah has a bunch of bitemarks on her neck. You berserked about a week ago, remember, Sal? Dove straight for her?"
    For a second I'm thrown off, but Grace speaks up, "But David didn't actually get to bite her."
    Oops. Caught again.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)19:56 No.14894481
    Sal resists the urge to curl his lip in disgust.
    He throws the bonds away from Natasha. Muttering that she'd better not let him regret that action, or he'll take an action that he won't.
    Here's a level 12 character with 2 levels in a class with a good Attack bonus and decent HD. Threatening one who is made to be unstoppable DMPC in a setting MADE FOR UNSTOPPABLE DMPC, who is level 17 and all combat all the way. And his bluff is made, the Paladin curtly returns to her mount and waits with the other horses. Sal goes back to the Gypsies and asks about joining their clan when he comes of age.
    >Kyle laughs at that idea. "Here's this hard-as-nails motherfucker coming in out of nowhere and kills the Paladin that's slaughtering them, knocks a Paladin Journeyman to the ground with his mates, and then does the hard work of mourning the dead of a clan he doesn't even belong to... and he's not even of age yet!"
    >Even Kai has to stifle a laugh at that.
    The others accept his idea, but voice the opinion that they're not sure when his clan would consider him of age at this stage, but if the two clans ever meet, Sal is most welcome to call their clan home. Sarah lights up a bit, but she's still standing back from Sal. Goodbyes are made, and Sal counts his money as he rides to Prospero, estimating the cost of buying a few carriages and horses, then carting them to this clan's convoy and joining up with them with one hell of a pilgrimage gift.
    Yes, this is clan Rayya. I just finished ME2 that week, sue us.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)20:09 No.14894664
    Then, when we get to Prospero, the first thing Sal does is go to an inn. He sits in a seat specifically chosen to be inconspicuous and practiced some new riffs. Rather than the usual powerful chords and slap-beats he plays, this tune is subdued. There's no hellfire and brimstone here, no grand lauding of apocalypses and retribution, no holy diver. A single note at a time for a sombre and broken melody. He hums to himself quietly and plinks the strings softly as he can (with +15 to his Perform: strings skill (+5 to vocalist and percussion) that's really good.) Kyle and Grace go kicking up some dust and getting loud with the booze. Someone in a town guard uniform saunters right up to Sal and says "Someone as disruptive as you're likely to be needs to find a better way to hide himself in public."
    Sal ignores him, his skin and clothes are dirty and covered in ash and blood, his lute is chipped and battered, his song sounds incomplete, but the way he holds himself speaks volumes of what it'll sound like.
    The town guard doesn't care, he grabs Sal by the scruff of his shirt and pulls him up, only just then getting Sal's attention.
    "You notice the eyes of a cuttlefish in this man."
    Sal takes a slow deep breath.
    "For a doppleganger lecturing me on discretion, you're setting a bad example." He laughes half-heartedly once and pulls himself free. Sal nods, smiles weakly, and murmers "yes, I think it'll be a fine song."
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)20:20 No.14894800
    I rent a room, go to it, and sit on my bed. Now I realise just how disheveled I look, and cast cleansing (or whatever it is that cleans clothes... I remember having it). The rips and such will have to be sewn, but that's ok. Sal takes some quiet time to just repair his clothing.
    Then Sarah walks into the room, with a brand new scarf\\neckerchief. I wonder why.
    She looks nervous, but she sits next to him on his bed, places an arm around his shoulder and the other on his hand that doesn't hold a needle and thread. Sal stops sewing.
    >Kyle and Grace are quietly chanting "In. Cest. In. Cest. In. Cest." I shake my head, smiling, but ultimately, no.
    Sal sighs deeply and Sarah brings her hand up to his face, turning his gaze to her, trying so very hard to keep his gaze.
    "How long has it been going on?"
    Sarah's eyes close, her face washes with something akin to regret, sorrow, and embarrassment.
    "Since the monastery."
    Sal's eye twitches. "Why have I only noticed now?" Pause "Wait. Don't tell me. I already know."
    Sarah pulls back and looks at her lap intently.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)20:31 No.14894939
    "It's ok. I don't fault you. You were only trying to help."
    No words. Sal kisses her on the forehead, noticing how tense she gets. He holds her in his arms, silent for a while but eventually saying "I'm so sorry."
    She falls into him, crying. Sal scowls at the door, daring Natasha to enter and order him around now. But he lets Sarah cry it out. She's about due to hear the news.
    "It's just that you've changed so much lately. Something's made you to be so... angry. What happened to you, Sal?"
    >More quiet chanting
    Sal sighs again, his hands begin to shake.
    "Our family, our clan. They're all dead. They sent us away to spare us."

    Sarah's face turns into Kai's Sal looks at her confused and vaguely horrified.
    And she stands up and leaves the room. Sal is alone and confused; so he follows her to her room, where she's finishing up packing her things. At a loss for what to do, does she need comforting? Is she trying to be strong and not let him see her sorrow? What is it? After enough time hovering in the door, Kai say that Sarah says, "Do you need something." in Kai's deadpan voice.
    Sal is horrified. He and I together are hit in the most horrific manner possible.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)20:40 No.14895065
    So I step back slowly, stumbling out the door. I go back to my room but am stopped by Natasha before I can get there.
    "You really should have told her sooner."
    "You... You were eavesdropping?"
    "No, not really. I was watching you through the keyhole."
    "You're no paladin."
    "Yes, Sal. I am. And soon you will respect that."
    "It appears to me that you only need to call yourself a Paladin in order to BE one." And with that, Sal pushes past Natasha. He collects his battered Lute and walks down the stairs.

    >Kyle and Grace's faces are pictures of bemused horror. They know just what Kai has done.
    >He has killed Sal's soul. He has finally defeated me.
    >They try to cheer me up IC.
    Sal arrives in the main tavern hall in the Inn. The other 2 PCs are rowdy and drunk, but when one of them catches eye of Sal with his lute, they shout out to everyone in the packed room to shut the FUCK UP! This man is the best musician we have ever had the pleasure to listen to. His songs... they stir up something wild in the soul! Listen to this guy!
    Sal and I nod sadly.
    "This is the new song."
    Sal's last. Sigh. Ever.
    The other two are eagerly hushing the crowd. All 3 of the others are watching intently to see what I'll play. Kyle and Grace expecting some epic song to rival Tenacious D.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)20:46 No.14895149
    This one song, I got my mother to teach me the chords for... It took me many weeks of practice to get anywhere with it and not far enough to do it justice. This was the song I knew. KNEW! Would be the song I was guaranteed to do ever since Sal looked to Sarah after learning of his clan's death.

    That was how long I had been trying to learn this song. (actually getting all sad again right now... Nrugh)
    So, rather than get a guitar hero guitar, I get out my mum's actual guitar.
    >The three of them open their eyes wide.
    "During 2nd chorus, I slowly rlease my glamour, letting it flake away into wisps of smoke. Got it?"
    I didn't really do it justice. But I sang it and attempted the tune on guitar. Normally I'd just open Media player, but not for this.
    Not for this.

    When I'm done, I see Kai looking at me with a deliberately blank face, and tears on Kyle's and Grace's faces.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)20:56 No.14895276
    I stand there, in the grey. I bow before the silent crowd. They don't know whether to cry, cheer, or mob me. But Kai says they decide to do the latter.
    I get dragged into the cathedral, burning as the Hallow effect hits me, screaming in pain. I am brought to the inner Cloister and bathed in holy water by force. When I am finally let out, I am dressed in humble rags, far from my proud white attire. And the inquisitors arrive, they all have Cuttlefish eyes.
    "I have nothing to live for now. My whole world is dead. Nothing you do will help your unknowable designs." I hang my head low and weep. Bitterly.

    The inquest is brutal. Kyle and Grace protesting the whole time but I waved them into silence eventually, saying one word.
    They understood. There was not MEANT to be any mercy. None of them would have DMed this any different. They couldn't have.

    Afterwards, Sal is paraded out to the front of the cathedral. It is described as having a Falchion in the stones at the base of the staircase... the stones cracked and broken beneath it.
    He has been shaven, burnt beyond recognition, and scars draw a picture of Dubstep's media player visualisations acrosss his whole body.
    He is tried for treason, heresy, recidivistic subversion, thievery, murder, and a massive list of others. Kai says "If you care anymore, Sal's levelled up to level 15."
    "Dave should get to rebuild a character for this campaign!"
    "Fine. What do you roll? Lvl 18 equivalent."
    "Yeah, what do you roll?"
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)21:07 No.14895390
    "What do I roll?"
    Mochtahr. roll 17, 5, 3, 9, 10, 14.
    Final stats = 7 Str, 11 Dex, 7 Con, 10 Int, 20 Wis, 10 Cha.
    Ranger 1 (Favoured enemy: Undead)
    Urban Ranger 1 was allowed thanks to Paladin of freedom (Favoured enemy organisation: Paladin order of the one true light)
    Bard 3
    "You can't name this character Sal Morass, too, Dave." Sneers Kai.
    I shake my head. "I know. This isn't Sal Morass. It's SAL THE BLEAK."
    "I cast Miracle. I'm free."
    "I cast bestow curse on myself twice. Food tastes spoilt and stale when I am near, colour fades to washed-out shades, music sounds dead, all that is full of love feels hollow. And Wherever I am, crows and ravens follow."
    "I cast limited wish: It's midday."
    "I cast limited wish: The half-vampire Paladin is now full Vampire."
    "I cast Gate. I summon ValTen."
    "NO!" Kai is livid with rage and I am calm and at peace.
    >But, Kai. You told me if I ever get a way to bring ValTen into the world, I could do it.
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)21:22 No.14895561
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    I use my bardic music to enhance my perform: oratory to full power. My voice now screams out in 5 tones at once (Baby, Child, Man, Demon, Singing falsetto) with volume to let the whole assembled throng hear.
    >I summon no God. I summon one of the most powerful outsiders ever to exist.
    >"I summon this." as I pass a brand-new MTG card face down to Kai.

    I sit back and let my nemesis tremble and quiver in sheer rage. Kyle and Grace are silent until now. They demand Kai shows them what I summon.
    They lol
    I lol
    In Sal the bleak's 5-tone deafening voice, as the eater of reality forms behind him, he speaks.
    "I have died in my soul and died in my heart. My body died with them and now I am whole.
    I am the great entropy of your world.
    >With my first voice, I sang the song to end my needs, and as a babe, they were filled.
    >With my second voice, I sang the song to end my ignorance, and as a child, my mind was filled.
    >With my third voice, I sang the song to end my woes, and as a man, my heart was filled.
    >With my fourth voice, I sang the song to end my thirst, and as a monster, my body was filled.
    >With my fifth voice, I sang the song to end my loneliness, and as a musician, my soul was filled."
    ... Then, as Emrakul is fully formed, I turn to face it.
    >And. With my sixth voice... I shall sing you the song, that ends the world. Now, mortals, watch. WATCH! As the void is filled.

    >> Anonymous 05/11/11(Wed)21:29 No.14895656
    Once again fucking awesome story bro!

    Any chance of another tomorrow?
    >> MTG guy 05/11/11(Wed)21:36 No.14895737
    I love you
    >> Cidolfas Orlandu, aka Thunder God Cid !gYjELVKQn6 05/11/11(Wed)21:49 No.14895873
    Fucking. Awesome.

    On another note, Kai needs a swift kick to the balls, if I do say so myself.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/11(Wed)21:54 No.14895932
    So, you realize this race is utterly imba and broken, right?It should be at least a LA+5 or 6
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)22:04 No.14896056
    Noted. I'm actually thinking of removing the Charm and Suggestion... As well as the passive abilities in Sable sanguine and Silver...
    I dunno how to do them that's right for you guys, but If I did, I'd make them so... so long as it kept true to the theme. :P
    >> <E!_Mance> !PmqM6b1Vqg 05/11/11(Wed)22:07 No.14896075
         File1305166043.jpg-(1.46 MB, 2816x2112, IMG_0156.jpg)
    1.46 MB
    Also, let us archive this.
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 05/11/11(Wed)22:08 No.14896093
         File1305166113.jpg-(6 KB, 214x236, SomberProud.jpg)
    6 KB
    Pic very related
    >> <E!_Mance> 05/11/11(Wed)22:15 No.14896177
    It is done!

    Yes. Tomorrow. It's thursday now. I started on Wednesday. 17 hours of writing. It's now 12:14PM.
    So on FRIDAY!
    On friday you'll get another... or maybe tonight if I'm not killed in my muay-thai sparring today... in 3-5 hours.
    >> <E!_Mance> 05/11/11(Wed)22:19 No.14896219
    Also, who do we want next? The list is in the last threads.
    >> Anonymous 05/11/11(Wed)22:26 No.14896289
    I'm happy for your story, but two things:

    1) Your homebrew race is, like virtually all homebrew races, ridiculously imbalanced.

    2) Your attempts to force, as you put it, 3-4 groups in your local gaming area to accept your homebrew race marks you as potentially a That Guy.

    Seriously though, while it is not the shittiest homebrew race I have ever seen, it smacks of 14 year old. Tons and tons of powers specifically designed to make them all mysterious and cool with a dabbling of "you don't understand me! p.q" thrown in. I look at this, and the description, and expect them to almost be born wearing a little black trench coat.
    >> <E!_Mance> 05/11/11(Wed)22:38 No.14896392
    Well, I didn't force anything. They DID all take them in of their own volition.
    And Like I said. I do desire them to not be... shit.
    Brainstorming isn't something that runs too often with one person's idea around here. Once someone thinks of something the response we usually get is "Urm... dur?"
    Or it's me critiquing, and I ask what everything's FOR. They don't like that.

    I know, they seem to be on the fucked side, but we've taken them down on many occasions using simple Humans.
    Ehhh... nothing I can say won't sound like "YOU DON'T LOVE MY SPESHUL SNOWFLAEKS! BAWWWWWW!" Which is far from what I want to say.
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 05/11/11(Wed)22:38 No.14896396
    soem copypasta
    >ArraHass, a Mochtahr protagonist for a 1-on-1 D&D campaign. Gets hurt a LOT.
    >JotaHarath, Kalashtar who hated Xoriat with a burning passion.
    >Leham Vannus. Half-Elf with big shoes to fill and no way of filling them. Loses his family.

    Leham sounds like it could be interesting. How many of the remaining ones involve Kai?
    >> <E!_Mance> 05/11/11(Wed)22:39 No.14896404
    ... none?
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 05/11/11(Wed)23:03 No.14896643

    So it was just kinda bad luck that we went through everything with him in succession.
    >> <E!_Mance> 05/11/11(Wed)23:04 No.14896661
    Indeed it was. It gets better now... I think. I don't know for sure.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)00:15 No.14897365
    I think you guys should really try to redo that race of yours from start. It loos like a lot of retcons and crap happened to it.

    What's the point of them? why not just go vampire Changeling?
    >> <E!_Mance> 05/12/11(Thu)00:28 No.14897488
    One last thing.
    When Kai roped Kyle onto a 1-on-1 EPIC LEVEL CAMPAIGN where he chose a Great Wyrm dragon of some type...
    He can't kill Goblins. Not when Kai's the DM.
    >> Anonymous 05/12/11(Thu)10:37 No.14901635
    Shit is bonkers

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