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  • File : 1305348722.jpg-(352 KB, 1280x688, 1303770308078.jpg)
    352 KB Merit 05/14/11(Sat)00:52 No.14919605  
    Once I saw the Axis Mundi. It was like a Tree, and like a River, and like a Storm, and like the ever-moving line where the ocean meets the shore.
    I sat and watched the Axis for many hours. It was so beautiful that my personality changed. My mind bloomed like a flower and I was rocked with the enormity and elegance of the Universe. Then I got hungry, so I went to get some Tacos. They were incredibly delicious.
    Ever since That Day I can learn the Words that Empower. I can impart Principles by writing Words on things, and remove them by rubbing Words out. I use a Magic Marker to write words, and I use Spit and the Sleeve of My Jacket to erase them. I don't need food or sleep anymore. Instead I'm fueled by Midrange Scotch Whiskey, Cigarettes, and the Suspicion of Unspoken Love. My Jacket is proof against Knives, Ill-Intent, Black Cats, and Bullets. I need to remember to proof it against Stink though, because I can't wash it anymore. It's hard to remember things whey you're partially fueled by Midrange Scotch Whiskey.
    I feel around in my pockets. I have a Shitty Smartphone, a Black Magic Marker, Half a Flask of Midrange Scotch Whiskey, a pack of Unfiltered Cigarettes, a Purple Lighter That Has Been Chewed On By Me, and a Twenty Dollar Bill That I Got From A Man Called Lucas The Vivisector.
    I check my /tg/ on my Shitty Smartphone. Half of the threads of the frontpage are Quests. I notice that there is a Trend, and I'm delighted by my perspicacity. I take a celebratory sip from my Half a Flask of Midrange Scotch Whiskey, and decide to hop on this trend immediately.
    My name is Merit, and this is an Abnormal Quest.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)00:58 No.14919671
    >>14919605
    Why did Lucas give you twenty dollars?
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)00:59 No.14919691
    >>14919671
    I Don't Remember. I was very Drunk on Midrange Scotch Whiskey. I think I either gave the ability to shoot Lasers From His Eyes or a handjob.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:01 No.14919709
    >>14919691
    Will you give me a handjob?
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)01:02 No.14919729
    >>14919709
    I only give Handjobs when I need to earn Twenty Dollars, but since I already have Twenty Dollars I don't need to give any Handjobs.
    See?
    The Universe is Perfect in Every Way
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:04 No.14919744
    >>14919729
    Then will you give me the ability to shoot lasers from my eyes?
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)01:05 No.14919762
    >>14919744
    No.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:07 No.14919786
    Tell the truth.
    You can't really do magic at all. You're just a crazy alky hobo with a smelly jacket aren't you?
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)01:09 No.14919813
    >>14919786
    I only Tell The Truth. I am a Crazy Alky Hobo with a Smelly Jacket who can Write Word that Empower on things and also erase them with Spit and Furious Rubbing.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:11 No.14919849
    Where are you?
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)01:12 No.14919865
    >>14919849
    I'm in A Filthy Alley. Filthy Alleys are the very best place to get some Serious Drinking Done.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:15 No.14919906
    twenty bucks is far to much for a handjob from a stinky hobo.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)01:17 No.14919928
    >>14919906
    I give Amazingly Good Handjobs ever since I wrote Amazingly Good At Handjobs on myself. My Handjobs are worth at least Fifty Dollars.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:18 No.14919950
    >>14919928
    So why don't you charge $50 for handjobs?
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)01:19 No.14919965
    >>14919950
    Because I keep forgetting to write Amazingly Good with Money on myself. It's hard to remember things when you're partially fueled by Midrange Scotch Whiskey.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:22 No.14919995
    >>14919965
    Write Amazingly Good With Money on yourself right now.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)01:25 No.14920031
    >>14919995
    That's a Good Idea! We're a good team, Anonymous.
    Now I have Amazingly Good With Money written on my belly. I'm going to invest this twenty dollars so when it vests I'll be able to use the dividends to buy Midrange Scotch Whiskey, Cigarettes, a Lighter That Hasn't Been Chewed On Be Me! I will also charge Sixty Dollars for Handjobs from now on!
    A whole new world is opening up to me! We're a good team, Anonymous!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:27 No.14920064
    Merit, sometimes you repeat yourself.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:27 No.14920065
    >>14919965
    Have you considered erasing "Handjobs" from "Amazingly Good at Handjobs" and replacing it with "Everything"? Anything else seems like it's just muckin' about.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)01:32 No.14920108
    >>14920064
    Yes. It's hard to Remember what you've said when you're Partially Fueled by Midrange Scotch Whiskey.
    >>14920065
    Sadly "Everything" is not Principle. I wish it was sometimes.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)01:36 No.14920149
    >>14920065
    Also, most of What I do is Mucking About. In fact, between Getting Some Serious Drinking Done and Giving Amazing Handjobs, it's all I do.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:37 No.14920165
    Find a cat.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)01:38 No.14920177
    >>14920165
    Good idea! Filthy Alleys are great places to Find Cats! I'm going to go dig around in that pile of rainsoaked cardboard, I'll tell you if I find one!
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)01:41 No.14920219
         File1305351716.jpg-(113 KB, 331x500, A Cat!.jpg)
    113 KB
    >>14920165
    I Found A Cat! I took this picture of it with my Shitty Smartphone! It's so cool living in the future!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:42 No.14920222
    >>14920149
    Well then, is Mucking About a principle?
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)01:43 No.14920236
    >>14920222
    Mucking About is a Very Special Principle. It's an ASPECT. ASPECTS are The Coordinate Functions of the Universe, they're very very sacred.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:45 No.14920251
    >>14920219
    Can you write Principles on the Cat?
    If so, write "Can Talk", or whatever you need to write to make it talk.
    If you can't make it talk write, "Ability To Shoot Lasers From Eyes" on it instead.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)01:47 No.14920269
    >>14920251
    I can write Principles on anything Tangible, and even Some Things that are Barely Tangible like A Fire or The Wind.
    I would write "Speaks English" on it, but I can't catch it! Also, Cats can already Shoot Lasers From Their Eyes. That's what makes Cats Special!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:50 No.14920297
    >>14920269
    >Cats can already Shoot Lasers From Their Eyes.
    No they can't, unless you're in a different Universe. Are you in another Universe? Can you go to other Universes?
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)01:55 No.14920342
    >>14920297
    Cat's can so Shoot Lasers From Their Eyes! Female cats can Shoot 7 Nanometer Lasers From Their Eyes and Males can Shoot 8 to 9 Nanometer Lasers From Their Eyes! They use them for precision range-finding for pouncing on their prey, and for giving Cancer to Mean People and Dogs! Don't you know Anything, Anonymous?
    And I'm from your Universe, or more accurately I'm from your Continuity Brane. I've never been to a different Continuity Brane because I'm afraid they won't have Midrange Scotch Whiskey, Cigarettes, the the color Chartreuse. Also because my Mind Would Explode With 1000 Gigatons Of Thermonuclear Yield, and that would be Bad.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:56 No.14920352
    Merit, you're incredibly incompetent! Just write Amazingly Good at Capturing Cats on yourself and catch that fucking cat!
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)01:57 No.14920365
    >>14920352
    I don't have anymore room to write things on myself! I'm already Amazingly Good at Too Many Things!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)01:59 No.14920377
    >>14920365
    So get a box and write "Amazingly Good at Getting Cats To Jump Inside It" on the side!
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)02:00 No.14920382
    >>14920377
    That would work. We're a good team, Anonymous!
    Let's wait and see if it works!
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)02:03 No.14920421
    >>14920382
    Yay! The cat is now inside the Box! Do you have "Amazingly Good at Plans" writen on you, Anonymous?
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)02:05 No.14920444
    I'm going to play with this Cat for awhile, but I'll keep checking to see if anything else happens in This Thread!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:09 No.14920479
    Write "Speaks English" on the cat.

    Then offer it some Midrange Scotch Whiskey.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)02:10 No.14920484
    >>14920479
    Okay!
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)02:14 No.14920527
    >>14920484
    The Cat is a Girl Cat! She says her name is Resplendent Enigma! She had kitten last fall, but one of them died. She thought she might like some Midrange Scotch Whiskey, but she thought it smelled bad! I drank some to show it was good, but she still didn't want any, so I drank the rest! Resplendent Enigma wants to know if you have a cat, Anonymous. I told her that Anonymous Loves Cats, so you probably do!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:18 No.14920565
    >>14920527
    Tell her that Anonymous thinks Resplendent Enigma is an Amazingly Good Name For A Cat.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)02:20 No.14920590
    >>14920565
    She said Of Course! All Cats have Amazingly Good Names, it's what makes them Special! I wrote "Has Kittens that Always Grow Up and Are Super Awesome" on Resplendent Enigma, and she purred and said Thank You! Cats only say Thank You when they really really mean it, so I think I did a really good thing!
    Oh My God I'm Out Of Midrange Scotch Whiskey this is Terrible
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:20 No.14920591
    >>14920527
    Owning a cat is almost a prerequisite to Anonymoushood. Now get Resplendent Enigma to share with you the secrets of the universe.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)02:24 No.14920631
    >>14920591
    I already know the Secrets of The Universe!
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)02:27 No.14920654
    Aw! Resplendent Enigma left! She said she had to go Get Fucked By A Tomcat! I say Good For Her, but I told her she shouldn't say "Fucked" because it's a rude word in English, so she said Sorry! Cat's are so polite!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:30 No.14920675
    >Cat's are so polite!
    Cat is are so polite? Merit, you suck at apostrophes.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)02:31 No.14920687
    >>14920675
    It's hard to remember to use Proper Punctuation when you're Partially Fueled by Midrange Scotch Whiskey!
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)02:36 No.14920722
    I went into the Bodega at the end of the Alley to procure more Midrange Scotch Whiskey and Cheap Cigarettes, but the clerk said Fuck Off Hobo Girl! I thought that was Mean, so I looked close and he had Cranky Because His Wife Left Him written on his forehead! I told him to hold still and spit on it so I could rub it off, but he yelled and chased me! I think he was going to hit me, but fortunately I'm Proofed against Ill-Intent and also have Amazingly Good at Running Away written on my left foot!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:37 No.14920736
    >>14920722
    Did you offer him a Handjob?
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)02:38 No.14920744
    >>14920736
    No, I already have Twenty Dollars!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:39 No.14920756
    >>14920722
    You shouldn't spit on people unless you have permission, Merit.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)02:41 No.14920769
    >>14920756
    Oh! You know a lot of about Arbitrary Social Conventions, Anonymous! We're a good team, Anonymous!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:44 No.14920794
    >>14920744
    Handjobs aren't always for making money, they can be used for diplomacy as well.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)02:45 No.14920807
    >>14920794
    Should I go back and offer him a Gratis Handjob? Do you think he would sell me Midrange Scotch Whiskey if I did?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:50 No.14920836
    >>14920807
    We had good luck with Resplendent Enigma, who was a Girl Cat. Maybe try and fin a Girl Clerk and offer her the handjob.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:51 No.14920845
    >>14920807
    Try it pantsless. That works for me sometimes
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)02:51 No.14920850
    >>14920836
    You can't give a Girl a Handjob because girls don't have penises!
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)02:52 No.14920869
    >>14920845
    You can't trick me, Anonymous! I know you're supposed to wear pants in Bodegas ever since one time in Montreal. Oh wait, is the rule different in The United States?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:53 No.14920872
    >>14920850
    They would if we wrote Has Penis on them.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:53 No.14920877
    >>14920869
    Duh. By drinking scotch you have license to be pantless in public.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)02:54 No.14920879
    >>14920872
    Yes, but that's true for literally anything Tangible and even some things that are Barely Tangible!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:55 No.14920894
    >>14920879
    Wait, can you just write on the site of the bottle Always Full Of Midrange Scotch Whiskey?
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)02:56 No.14920903
    >>14920877
    Oh! You're really good at Arbitrary Social Conventions Anonymous! I've Drunk a Seriously Huge Quantity of Midrange Scotch Whiskey, so I should be totally fine then! We're a good team Anonymous!
    So the plan is that I take of my pants, go back in to the Bodega, and offer the Mean Clerk a Gratis Handjob so he'll sell me Midrange Scotch Whiskey, right?
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)02:57 No.14920910
    >>14920894
    Sure!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:57 No.14920914
    >>14920722
    >Fuck Off Hobo Girl!
    >Hobo Girl
    >Girl

    Waitaminute.jpg
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)02:58 No.14920927
    >>14920903
    Let's get to it now. That scotch can't get in your gullet unless you drop trou, get in that bodega, and jack some korean cock.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)02:59 No.14920931
    >>14920927
    Okay! I'll tell you how it went in a minute!
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)03:04 No.14920964
    Anonymous You're So Good At Plans! Chuck (That's the Clerk's name!) was so happy he kissed me and gave me the Midrange Scotch Whiskey for free because I forgot that I left the Twenty Dollars I Got From Lucas The Vivisector in my Pants in the Filthy Alley! He even let me use the bathroom so I could pee indoors and clean his semen out of my hair!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:12 No.14921023
    >>14920964
    >betterthanexpected.mkv
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:13 No.14921030
    >>14920964
    if you catch it in your mouth your hair won't get messy.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)03:13 No.14921031
    >>14921023
    I can't play .mkv files on my Shitty Smartphone. That's one of the 13 Reasons My Smartphone Is Shitty.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)03:14 No.14921044
    >>14921030
    Why do people always want me to put semen in my mouth?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:15 No.14921052
    >>14921031
    What are the other 12 reasons?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:15 No.14921062
    >>14921044
    Better value for the $20. That's a $30 handjob feature usually.

    Anyway drink the scotch and pee in the bottle. What's at the other end of the alley?
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)03:20 No.14921106
    >>14921052
    1. Tiny Little Screen
    2. Only has Internet Explorer
    3. Speakerphone is broken!
    4. The MASER is only 3 Megawatts!
    5. The plastic that covers the screen got smashed, so not I don't have it anymore!
    6. Stupid, STUPID Media Player!
    7. Can't shoot Grappling Hooks anymore because I ran out of Monofilament Goo!
    8. NSA monitors all my ingoing/outgoing calls & Internet usage (Hi, Phillis! How's your daughter's cold doing?)
    9. The battery only holds a charge for like three weeks!
    10. Telepathic Input only works if I squint really hard and say Ohhh Maaniii Paaadme Hummm
    11. The case is cracked!
    12. I lost the cool little charm thingy that it came with!
    13. Doesn't play MKV files!
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)03:21 No.14921118
    >>14921062
    My Handjobs cost Sixty Dollars ever since I wrote Amazingly Good With Money on my belly! Also I already peed!
    PS: You don't ever need to remind me to drink Midrange Scotch Whiskey.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:25 No.14921136
    Hmm. Have you considered erasing some of the Principles and condensing them into one single phrase?

    Such as:
    Amazingly Good at Swimming, Basketball, and Jumping.

    That would replacing:
    Amazingly Good at Swimming
    Amazingly Good at Basketball
    AND
    Amazingly Good at Jumping
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)03:26 No.14921146
    >>14921136
    That's a pretty good idea! I'll try to remember to do that!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:27 No.14921148
         File1305358040.jpg-(11 KB, 317x324, whassup.jpg)
    11 KB
    >>14921138
    Yo, NSA! Whassup?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:27 No.14921149
    >>14921138
    What? Did the phone say that to you or something?

    Pinch phone in between your ass cheeks. How far is the closest street?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:28 No.14921152
    >>14921146
    NO, DO IT NOW.

    NOW NOW NOW.

    NOW.

    Otherwise you'll forget.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:28 No.14921160
    >>14921148
    >>14921149
    THE NSA DOES NOT POST ON 4CHAN BECAUSE IT IS FILTHY. JANICE WRIGHT IS NOT AN NSA ANALYST AND DOES NOT HAVE A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH CODENAME MERIT. CODENAME MERIT IS NOT A PERSON EITHER. SHUT UP.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:30 No.14921170
    >>14921106
    Merit, is "Perfect" a principle or an ASPECT?

    Could we write Perfect on our Shitty Smartphone, making it a Perfect Smartphone?
    >> CIA 05/14/11(Sat)03:30 No.14921171
         File1305358240.jpg-(143 KB, 870x647, supermad.jpg)
    143 KB
    >>14921160
    Make me.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)03:32 No.14921190
    >>14921152
    Okay, if you're sure.
    I erased "Amazingly Good With Money" "Amazingly Good With Animals" "Not A Feast For Demons" "Amazingly Good at Chess" "Amazingly Good at Not Getting Her Skull Crushed by A Baseball Bat Again" "Amazingly Good at Riding Bikes" and "Always Knows when Scrubs is On", and wrote "Amazingly good with Money, Animals, Chess, Not Getting Her Skull Crushed By A Baseball Bat Again, Riding Bikes, and Knowing When Scrubs is On TV"
    Yay!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:33 No.14921194
    >>14921190
    Phone in your ass crack and GTFO out of this alley. It almost smells as bad as you
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:33 No.14921197
    >>14921190
    You forgot the whole demons thing. You should rewrite that.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)03:35 No.14921207
    >>14921170
    Perfect is an ASPECT, but it's kind of Wierd because while the Universe Itself is Perfect In Every Way, nothing within the Universe can ever be accurately or objectively described as Perfect. In a sense, the Universe is Perfect in it's Imperfection. Pretty Zen, huh?
    Also, My Smartphone is Perfect again! Hurray! You're so good at plans, Anonymous!
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)03:36 No.14921215
    >>14921197
    What's that about Demons?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:37 No.14921219
    >>14921215
    You erased Not a Feast For Demons, and didn't include it in your new Macroprinciple. You need to.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:37 No.14921221
    >>14921215
    They're attracted to phones. Perfect or not
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)03:39 No.14921234
    >>14921194
    You know, if I write "This Is Always Up That One Anonymous's Ass and also on Fire Forever" on basically anything it will come true, right? Like if I wrote it on a Trash Can it would be in all the way in your ass and on fire and no doctor of shaman could remove it?
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)03:40 No.14921241
    >>14921219
    What's a Macroprinciple?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:40 No.14921246
    >>14921234
    Except that if you did that, we'd all get Mad and Stop Helping You, and then you'd go back to Having No Plan.

    So there. It's a Stalemate.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:42 No.14921257
    >>14921234
    Psychic surgery is always a backup for those cases.

    Do as you're told
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)03:42 No.14921262
    >>14921246
    Mutually Assured Vexation.
    A surprisingly efficacious circumstance!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:43 No.14921264
    >>14921241
    A Principle composed of Many Smaller Principles. Because it's composed of many other Principles, it is larger than other Principles, thus we call it a Macroprinciple.

    MACRO-
    Prefix

    1. large

    macronucleus

    2. long

    macrobiotics

    3. inclusive

    macroinstruction
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)03:43 No.14921268
    >>14921257
    >Do as you're told
    Ha! "Doesn't Have To Do As She's Told" is written on my bottom! So there!
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)03:45 No.14921281
    >>14921264
    I see! You're really good with Pedantic English Words! Thanks Anonymous!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:47 No.14921291
    >>14921281

    >*fart*
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:47 No.14921293
    >>14921281
    I am NOT ostentatious. You're mean for implying that. I merely want to define these 'Principles' a bit better.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)03:47 No.14921298
    >>14921293
    What's Ostentatious?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:49 No.14921312
    >>14921298
    Ostentatious:
    os·ten·ta·tious/ˌästənˈtāSHəs/
    Adjective: Characterized by vulgar or pretentious display.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)03:50 No.14921318
    >>14921312
    And you're not... that?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:50 No.14921320
    >>14921318
    Yes.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)03:51 No.14921326
    >>14921320
    That's good. It doesn't sound very nice! Why did you think I called you Ostentatious?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:52 No.14921334
    >>14921326
    Pedantic:
    pe·dan·tic
     /pəˈdæntɪk/puh-dan-tik
    –adjective
    ostentatious in one's learning.

    See?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:54 No.14921344
    We've gone astray. What we should do is rewrite "Not a Feast For Demons", and add "And Can See Them And Beat Them Up." That way, if we meet a demon trying to feast on someone we like, we can beat them up.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)03:55 No.14921360
    >>14921334
    Oh! I'm sorry! Sometimes I forget that the Words that make up Principles have meanings that aren't nice sometimes!
    I'll tell you a secret: I don't know what a lot of the Words actually mean! I just know what they are! It's like Qualia, but in reverse!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:56 No.14921367
    >>14921344
    Speaking of which, who do we like?
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)03:56 No.14921371
    >>14921344
    I can already see Demons! They're litter ally everywhere! OH SHIT THERE ARE DEMONS EVERYWHERE
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)03:58 No.14921386
    >>14921371
    RUN BITCH RUN
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)04:00 No.14921401
    >>14921386
    I am! I'm running and I'm crying because there are Demons chasing me and they're going to rape me and eat my skin while I'm alive and steal the Words so they can turn the Universe to Darkness and I don't have pants on and I can't write "Not a Feast for Demons" on my self because I can't write when I'm running!
    Anonymous I'm scared! What should I do?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)04:02 No.14921416
    >>14921401
    John! You are the demons!

    You must defeat them by becoming one of them! Become the demon john, and you can save the wooooooooooorld
    >> THE PRINCIPLE OF CRUELTY 05/14/11(Sat)04:02 No.14921419
    STOP RUNNING MERIT, THE DEMONS AREN'T MEAN THEY JUST WANT TO BE YOUR FRIENDS!
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)04:04 No.14921433
    >>14921419
    I don't think that's true! One time I talked to a Demon and he said I AM I AM I AM I AM a million times and I think that was bad!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)04:05 No.14921441
    >>14921419
    Okay, this is definitely a Demon. Don't listen to him Merit, keep running! We'll think of something.
    >> RIGHTEOUSNESS LEGITIMIZING ATROCITY 05/14/11(Sat)04:06 No.14921455
    >>14921441
    THAT GUY IS NOT A DEMON, HE'S MY BROTHER AND HE'S A GOD-FEARING PATRIOTIC NEW YORK CITY FIREFIGHTER WHO DIED ON 9/11. YOU CAN TOTALLY TRUST HIM, HE'S DEFINITELY ON THE UP-AND-UP
    >> SOUL OF DISCORD 05/14/11(Sat)04:08 No.14921463
    >>14921455
    SHE WENT UP THE FIRE ESCAPE YOU FUCKWIT, DON'T LOSE HER
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)04:08 No.14921468
    >>14921455
    >>14921419
    They are obviously not trustworthy. But sadly, given our history together, you will of course ignore my advise.
    >> WAR CULTURE 05/14/11(Sat)04:09 No.14921474
    >>14921463
    WHO MADE YOU THE BOSS?
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)04:11 No.14921489
    So of course I'm outspoken among my more emotional peers. If only humans used their left hemisphere more often, we wouldn't have these problems.
    >> THE HISTORY OF RUSSIA AS A NATION 05/14/11(Sat)04:11 No.14921492
    FOR THE LOVE OF HATRED WE'VE GOT A THOUSAND SKITTERING LEGS APIECE WHY CAN'T WE CATCH HER?
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)04:13 No.14921506
    >>14921489
    >>14921468
    Who are you? Logic can't be demonic, it's an ASPECT? Are you an EMANATION? Please help me I don't want to be raped by demons or party to the Endless Torment of the Universe!
    >> WAR CULTURE 05/14/11(Sat)04:14 No.14921517
    >>14921506
    GOT YOU NOW LITTLE BITCH! CLIMBING TO THE ROOFTOPS IS A CLASSIC MISTAKE. YOUR SOUL IS MINE!
    >> THE HISTORY OF RUSSIA AS A NATION 05/14/11(Sat)04:15 No.14921524
    >>14921517
    ...YOU WERE SAYING, WAR CULTURE?
    >> WAR CULTURE 05/14/11(Sat)04:16 No.14921528
    >>14921524
    DAMN! LITTLE BITCH CAN JUMP, HUH?
    >> SOUL OF DISCORD 05/14/11(Sat)04:17 No.14921538
    GET BACK TO THE STREET!
    I SWEAR ON THE VOID ITSELF WHEN I CATCH HER I SHALL FUCK HER IN HALF BEFORE I EAT HER!
    >> THE RAPE OF A THOUSAND VIRGINS 05/14/11(Sat)04:17 No.14921539
    FUCK, YOU MORONS, CIRCLE AROUND.
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)04:18 No.14921545
    >>14921506
    Attention demons, among other things, attempting to harm or otherwise modify the girl known as Merit, merit, or any variations therein.

    Under code Q-364-I-PPAH-3146, you are committing an illegal action. Continue, and I shall be forced to intervene, destroying you utterly and entirely.

    Cease and desist immediately.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)04:18 No.14921552
    Stop for long enough to write Not A Fest For Demons somewhere as soon as you have enough space.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)04:18 No.14921556
    Anonymouuuuuuuuuuuuus! Help Me! I need a Plan!
    >> THE RAPE OF A THOUSAND VIRGINS 05/14/11(Sat)04:19 No.14921566
    >>14921545
    YOUR MISTAKE IS IN BELIEVING THAT WE ABIDE BY THE LAWS OF LOGIC.
    OR INDEED ANYTHING.
    YOU GOT A PRETTY MOUTH, BY THE WAY.
    >> TOTAL ANNIHILATION 05/14/11(Sat)04:20 No.14921574
    >>14921545
    WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WE'RE DEMONS, WE'RE THE EPHEMERAL EMBODIMENT OF CHAOS AND ENTROPY. WE DON'T FOLLOW RULES.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)04:21 No.14921577
    >>14921556
    DIVE INTO THE NEAREST DUMPSTER and write the words while you're hidden. DO IT.
    UNLESS YOU PLAN ON FIGHTING THEM OFF WITH HANDJOBS.
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)04:21 No.14921579
    >>14921566
    While it is true that you may not follow the laws of logic, nor the laws under which I function, I am no less capable of destroying you.

    So, to be blunt, FUCK OFF.
    >> TOTAL ANNIHILATION 05/14/11(Sat)04:22 No.14921585
    >>14921556
    IF YOU SURRENDER NOW I PROMISE I WILL BREAK YOUR NECK BEFORE SOUL OF DISCORD FUCKS YOU IN HALF. YOU'D DO IT IF YOU'VE SEEN HIS DICK. IT'S LIKE A FLAGPOLE COVERED IN MEATHOOKS.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)04:24 No.14921600
    >>14921577
    If I stop running for even a second "Amazingly Awesome at Running Away" won't be in effect anymore!
    Do you think they'd let me off with a round of handjobs?
    >> THE RAPE OF TEN THOUSAND VIRGINS 05/14/11(Sat)04:24 No.14921602
    >>14921579
    THANKS FOR THE VIOLENT OUTBURST, I NEEDED THAT.
    WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT BITCH, I SWEAR I WILL RAPE HER ASS INSIDE OUT AND DEFILE THE ETHER WITH HER TATTERED, TORMENTED SOUL.
    >> VILE DECEIT 05/14/11(Sat)04:25 No.14921613
    >>14921600
    Of courssssse. Jussssst sssssstop running and we'll acccccept that.
    >> WAR CULTURE 05/14/11(Sat)04:26 No.14921625
    >>14921579
    I AM THE MALICE THE UNDERWROTE EVERY CONFLICT ON EVERY LEVEL IN ALL HUMAN HISTORY BEFORE AND AFTER THIS TIME, EMANATION. I AM THE SEETHING HATRED OF VENDETTA, REVOLUTION, CONQUEST, GENOCIDE, AND EXTERMINATION. I AM HUMAN HATRED GIVEN FORM.
    YOU WANT TO TUSSLE?
    BRING IT THE FUCK ON.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)04:27 No.14921639
    >>14921625
    Cold and Rational Logic: Fight this guy! Trust me, I know what I'm saying!
    >> THE HISTORY OF RUSSIA AS A NATION 05/14/11(Sat)04:29 No.14921652
    >>14921625
    YEAH! TELL THE FAGGOT, WAR CULTURE! I'VE GOT THE AGONIZED SOULS OF 10,000 UNJUSTLY DAMNED CHILDREN THAT SAYS YOU TEAR HIM TO PIECES
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)04:29 No.14921665
    >>14921639
    Maybe next time you can take a breather you should write "Able to Multitask While Running" or something like that on yourself.
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)04:30 No.14921667
    >>14921625
    You must all learn to accept that in the end, I am the only thing that truly exists.

    All of math, science, and technology stems from me. The universe's laws are all logical in their own right, and matter and energy progress logically based on laws that are again, logical.

    While you, on the other hand, save Total Annihilation, are merely products of humanity. And if, which I think they will, humanity goes ahead with the idea of posthumanism, you will no doubt fade in obscurity.

    You can't help but lose. I don't actually have to fight you to win.
    >> VERMIN AND DECAY 05/14/11(Sat)04:30 No.14921668
    HEY, FAGGOTZZZZ, ZZZZZZZZTOP BICKERING AND FIND ZZZZZZZZZAT ZZZZZZZZZZLUT. I'M GETTING BORED.
    >> SOUL OF DISCORD 05/14/11(Sat)04:30 No.14921671
    FIGHT HIM, EMANATION. FACE WAR CULTURE IN THE TRADITIONAL FASHION IF YOU'RE AS BOLD AS YOU CLAIM!
    >> THE RAPE OF TEN THOUSAND VIRGINS 05/14/11(Sat)04:32 No.14921685
    SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME PREDATORY SEXUAL ENERGY, I CAN SMELL HER. SHE'S CLOSE.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)04:33 No.14921692
    >>14921639
    Write it now, while they're distracted.
    >> WAR CULTURE 05/14/11(Sat)04:33 No.14921693
    >>14921667
    YOU MAY BE ONE OF THE DRIVING FORCES OF CREATION, BUT I AM THE INSIDIOUS FORCE OF THE VOID WHICH SUFFUSES IT. IF YOU ARE INEVITABILITY, I AM INFINITY. YOU CLAIM THAT HUMAN NATURE WILL OVERCOME MY WILL, BUT WE BOTH KNOW THAT WITH EVERY ADVANCE THEY MAKE THEY TURN IT FIRST TO A WEAPON!
    YOU MUST KNOW THAT WE ARE BROTHERS, LOGIC. IT IS HUMAN HATRED THAT DRIVES THEM TO THEIR GREATEST SCIENTIFIC ACHIEVMENTS!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)04:34 No.14921695
    >>14921639
    You don't have to stop long enough to write Not A Feast For Demons on yourself! You only have to stop long enough to write Safe! Then we'll have time to have a nice little sit down, muck while we get our drink on, and figure out what to do next.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)04:35 No.14921702
    Pedantic Anonymous! What's a word that means "A Curse Upon"?
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)04:35 No.14921711
    >>14921695
    Safe isn't a Principle, it's an Abstract Concept!
    >> THE RAPE OF TEN THOUSAND VIRGINS 05/14/11(Sat)04:36 No.14921715
    >>14921695
    SHUT UP, FAGGOT.
    >>14921639
    AH, THE DELICIOUS SMELL OF UNWASHED CUNT. COME OUT SO IN CAN COME IN. YOU, THAT IS.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)04:36 No.14921719
    >>14921702
    Accursed.
    >> THE PRINCIPLE OF CRUELTY 05/14/11(Sat)04:37 No.14921722
    >>14921693
    HA HA. BEAT THAT Cold and Rational Logic! OBLIVION ALWAYS WINS
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)04:37 No.14921723
    >>14921692
    Write "Totally undetectable by Demons" or "Adored by Demons" rather than "Not a Feast for Demons", that suggests you could still be a light snack for them, rather than a feast.
    Alternately, is there anything else about demons written on you already that could help? Like "Amazingly Good at Kung-Fu versus Demons"?
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)04:38 No.14921738
    >>14921719
    That won't work, I can't write "Accursed" on myself! I need something that means more like, "A Curse Upon", or "Abhorrent To". It's a specific word!
    >> VILE DECEIT 05/14/11(Sat)04:39 No.14921742
    >>14921702
    Enssssssslaved by,
    >> THE RAPE OF TEN THOUSAND VIRGINS 05/14/11(Sat)04:41 No.14921755
    FUCK. I KNOW YOU'RE HERE, WHORE. WHEN I FIND YOU I'M GONNA WEAR YOU LIKE A CONDOM.
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)04:41 No.14921756
    >>14921693
    But their scientific achievements are but that: science. And science is merely the way they come to appreciate the universe's many facets. As is math, and philosophy. Are you aware, War Culture, that there are alien races for whom the concept of war is unknown, and unknowable?

    I do. But for all of them, all thinking creatures everywhere, I am known. I am the very soil from which sentience grows. Logic. Cold and unfeeling. Whether in binary, or mathematical formula, or a simple progression of events. I am always there. In fact, you owe your existence to me. At your most basic levels, I am there. Counting and measuring.

    I am you. But you are not me.
    >> WAR CULTURE 05/14/11(Sat)04:41 No.14921759
    >>14921730
    SUCH OPTIMISTIC ASSUMPTIONS! I WOULD FIND IT ADORABLE IF I WERE PSYCHOLOGICALLY CAPABLE OF LIKING ANYTHING AT ALL.
    LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING: SAPIENCE ALMOST NEVER INCLUDES RATIONALITY AS A FUNDAMENTAL PRECEPT, BUT STRIFE IS HARD-CODED INTO EVERYTHING THAT HAS EVER EVOLVED. IT'S FOOD, FLIGHT, FIGHT, AND FUCK IN THE REAL WORLD. STEP DOWN FROM YOUR IVORY TOWER AND YOU'LL SEE THAT THIS AND ALL OTHER WORLDS BELONG FIRST TO ME.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)04:43 No.14921770
    >>14921738
    Anathema?
    > A ban or curse pronounced with religious solemnity by ecclesiastical authority, often accompanied by excommunication; denunciation of anything as accursed.
    > An imprecation; a curse; a malediction.  
    > Any person or thing anathematized, or cursed by ecclesiastical authority.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)04:43 No.14921772
    >>14921738
    "Repellent"?
    Or, how about "holy" considering your very specific predicament?
    >> VERMIN AND DECAY 05/14/11(Sat)04:44 No.14921773
    >>14921756
    ZZZZZZZZZWE DO NOT ABIDE BY YOUR LOGIC, INTERLOPER. NOR ARE WE CONZZZZZZTRAINED BY OR MADE OF IT. WE WILL BREAK ZZZZZYOU.
    >> SOUL OF DISCORD 05/14/11(Sat)04:44 No.14921775
    >>14921759
    HE'S ON THE ROPES! FINISH THIS SO WE CAN GET BACK TO CHASING THE FUCKING GIRL
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)04:44 No.14921780
    >>14921738
    Write "Imperceptible to Demons" on you! Quickly!
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)04:44 No.14921782
    >>14921770
    Anathema! Yes!
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)04:45 No.14921783
    >>14921759
    Life is chemistry. Chemistry is physics. Physics is a logical progression of events through the laws of the universe. Which follow their own logic.

    All of life is logic. Say there are three apples. And four animals. The animals fight, because they know that one of them must have no apples. But then one animal thinks: Why can I not have all the apples? So it kills the others.

    That is logic. Not only that, but the mere firing of neurons is logic. Logic gates and computation.
    >> THE RAPE OF TEN THOUSAND VIRGINS 05/14/11(Sat)04:45 No.14921786
    >>14921775
    OR YOU COULD HELP ME, CUNTFLAP. I'M NOT INTERESTED IN ANY DICKWAVING BUT THAT WHICH HAPPENS BEFORE A GOOD RAVISHING.
    >> WAR CULTURE 05/14/11(Sat)04:46 No.14921790
    >>14921756
    CAN'T STALL FOREVER, EMANATION. JUST LET ME UNMAKE YOU NOW AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO WATCH YOUR PRECIOUS UNIVERSE PERVERTED!
    >> SOUL OF DISCORD 05/14/11(Sat)04:47 No.14921795
    >>14921786
    SHUT UP, RAPE OF TEN THOUSAND VIRGINS, YOU'RE A FUCKING HACK
    >> THE RAPE OF TEN THOUSAND VIRGINS 05/14/11(Sat)04:47 No.14921798
    >>14921782
    THERE YOU ARE, YOU MOTHERFUCKING USELESS ACCUMULATION OF FLESH AROUND A VAGINA. I'M GONNA FUCK YOU 'TILL YOU LOVE ME.
    >> THE RAPE OF TEN THOUSAND VIRGINS 05/14/11(Sat)04:49 No.14921811
    >>14921795
    YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS THAT I'M A UNIVERSAL CONSTANT AMONG SEXUAL RACES. VIRGINS AREN'T MY ONLY PORTFOLIO. ENJOY YOUR PUSSY DISCORD, FAGGOTFUCK.
    SHIT, SHE SLIPPED AWAY AGAIN. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU ASSDIVING COCKMEAT.
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)04:50 No.14921815
    >>14921811
    But not all races are sexual. Therefore do I again have far more influence than you. Infinitely more, in fact.
    >> WAR CULTURE 05/14/11(Sat)04:52 No.14921828
    >>14921815
    BUT I AM UNIVERSAL
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)04:52 No.14921829
    In fact, merely by attempting to rape that girl, you are all following logic.

    You want to rape something, so you find someone to rape, and attempt to rape them.

    Logic.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)04:53 No.14921838
    >>14921828
    And I'm "Anathema to Demons"
    >> SOUL OF DISCORD 05/14/11(Sat)04:54 No.14921841
    >>14921838
    NO
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)04:54 No.14921844
    >>14921828
    You may stretch over the whole of the universe, but you are not universal. An alien in the Andromeda Galaxy may kill its brother, but so many other aliens do not have the same respond.

    You are losing the argument, and choosing to ignore some of my points in a desperate bid to win.

    Which is logical.
    >> THE HISTORY OF RUSSIA AS A NATION 05/14/11(Sat)04:55 No.14921852
    >>14921838
    OH YOU WICKED LITTLE CUNT.
    >> THE RAPE OF TEN THOUSAND VIRGINS 05/14/11(Sat)04:55 No.14921853
    >>14921829
    I RAPE REALITY BY MERELY BEING IN IT. I DO NOT THINK, I DO. UNLESS YOU THINK THIS PART SAYING WORDS IS ANYTHING BUT A COMPREHENSION FORCED BY YOUR PRESENCE
    I RAPE BECAUSE RAPE IS YELLOW AND FUZZY, SEE?
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)04:56 No.14921860
    Besides, I don't actually have to win the argument. I can easily walk away at any moment. And now that I have distracted you long enough, the girl is safe.

    I win, you lose. Even if I had lost I would have still won.
    >> WAR CULTURE 05/14/11(Sat)04:56 No.14921864
    >>14921838
    I'M GOING TO MAKE A TRILLION SOPHONTS SCREAM FOR ETERNITY FOR THIS, YOU FUCKING WHORE
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)04:57 No.14921871
    >>14921853
    But you do think.

    Rape is yellow and fuzzy, therefore you rape.

    While not logical to humans, it is logical to others, somewhere in the universe.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)04:57 No.14921876
    >>14921860
    Cold And Rational Logic, Thank You for your timely help. You have my undying gratitude.
    >> THE RAPE OF TEN THOUSAND VIRGINS 05/14/11(Sat)04:58 No.14921880
    >>14921838
    GRAAAAAAAAAAGH. FUCK YOU, "MERIT", AND FUCK YOU, $#*#kjf#(4L.
    I BLAME YOU COCKJUGGLERS.
    THAT'S IT, I'M CAUSING A RAPE SPREE ACROSS THE WORLD. SEE YOU FUCKS LATER.
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)04:58 No.14921882
    >>14921876
    I am aware of that fact. It is of course obvious to me that I would, given what has occurred here.
    >> WAR CULTURE 05/14/11(Sat)04:58 No.14921883
    >>14921860
    YOU... YOU FUCKING... FUCKING EMANATIONS! I FUCKING HATE YOU! IT'S NOT FAIR! IT'S NOT FAIR!
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)05:00 No.14921890
    >>14921883
    Logic isn't fair.

    Logic is itself.

    The animal that got all three apples didn't care about fair. It only cared about apples.
    >> THE RAPE OF TEN THOUSAND VIRGINS 05/14/11(Sat)05:01 No.14921894
    >>14921871
    BUT I ACTUALLY RAPE BECAUSE RAPE BECAUSE RAPE BECAUSE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPERAPERAPERAPERAPE
    I DON'T RAPE, I AM RAPE.
    I CAN NO MORE THINK THAN ANY CONCEPT CAN. THESE WORDS, AGAIN, ARE INTERPRETATIONS FORCED BY LOGIC IN THIS AREA.
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)05:03 No.14921906
    >>14921894
    You are rape, therefore you rape.

    Logic.

    And as long as I exist, you cannot escape me. To those who rape, rape is logical in its own way. Physical, chemical, and biological factors drive them to that conclusion. And those are all logic.

    You can never escape from me. Nobody can.
    >> WAR CULTURE 05/14/11(Sat)05:03 No.14921909
    >>14921890
    FINE! VICTORY IS YOURS
    THIS TIME
    ENJOY YOUR UNIVERSE WHILE YOU CAN! I AM TIMELESS! AGELESS! AND I'M MORE PATIENT THAT YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE!
    THE GUARDIAN OF YOUR WORLD IS A GIRL SOME DRUNK AND BRAIN DAMAGED SHE THINKS CATS HAVE X-RAY LASER EYES! SHE FUCKING FORGOT TO KEEP THE WARD WRITTEN ON HERSELF! THIS IS THE BARRIER THAT PREVENTS US FROM TEARING EXISTENCE TO PIECES? HA!
    ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS WAIT FOR HER TO TAKE A BATH! WILL YOU BE WITH HER ALWAYS, Cold And Rational Logic? CAN YOU STAND TO BE WITH A CREATURE SO STUPID AND PERVERSE FOR ALL TIME?
    SHE'LL FUCK UP SOMETIME, Cold And Rational Logic, AND NEXT TIME THERE WILL BE NOWHERE TO RUN
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:04 No.14921915
    This is surprisingly interesting.

    hey, Merit! how are you doing now?
    >> THE RAPE OF TEN THOUSAND VIRGINS 05/14/11(Sat)05:04 No.14921916
    SHIT, I'M DIFFUSING AGAIN. GUESS WHAT, BITCH? I PERSONALLY DON'T HAVE TO RAPE YOU TO RAPE YOU.
    RAPE THE RAPE HIS UUUUUUUUUNGH
    +++++++++++++=
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)05:05 No.14921925
    >>14921915
    Cigarettes are physical proof that the Universe is a Kind and Loving place! Especially when you have "Always Healthy Lungs" written on the underside of your arm!
    Oh shit, I need to find new pants!
    >> SOUL OF DISCORD 05/14/11(Sat)05:06 No.14921933
    >>14921916
    GOD DAMN, WHAT A PUSSY! I'M GOING TO STICK AR+++++++++++++++++++++
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:07 No.14921936
    >>14921925

    That's a good idea. By the way, do you think you could tell us what else you have on you? If it isn't too much trouble. It might help us plan ahead a little better, as well.
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)05:08 No.14921947
    >>14921909
    Goodbye, War Culture. Always a pleasure to spar with you. Despite the fact that you cannot win.

    >>14921933
    >>14921916
    And good day to you two as well.
    >> WAR CULTURE 05/14/11(Sat)05:08 No.14921948
    >>14921934
    GET FUCKED, EMENATION. THIS IS AMERICA, I'M CARVED INTO THE SOUL OF THIS PLACE. I'M GOING FUCKING NOWHERE.
    >> THE RAPE OF TEN THOUSAND VIRGINS 05/14/11(Sat)05:08 No.14921949
    >>14921906
    APP453LYING L*#($OGIC TTTT-------------O CHA+-+║OS DO╕ESNOT MA↓Γ65ßKE CHA:uávOS LOJJICALMG
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)05:09 No.14921953
    >>14921936
    I know, planning is a real shortcoming of mine. Planning is hard when you're Partially Fueled by Midrange Scotch Whiskey!
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)05:10 No.14921954
    >>14921948
    82.3251621% chance of governmental collapse in the next 45.41 years.

    >>14921949
    I can still understand you. As much as you may believe I cannot.
    >> THE RAPE OF TEN THOUSAND VIRGINS 05/14/11(Sat)05:10 No.14921955
    ╪╡6554¼)6♦1═iA87Dgê∞
    >> WAR CULTURE 05/14/11(Sat)05:11 No.14921959
    >>14921954
    >82.3251621% chance of governmental collapse in the next 45.41 years.
    AND THEN YOU'LL SEE HOW POWERFUL I TRULY AM IN THIS WORLD.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:11 No.14921960
    >>14921953

    I've noticed! But we can help with that. And, uh, what you have on you? I've only got the vaguest idea, besides 'now perfect smartphone' and 'thing to write with'.
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)05:11 No.14921963
    >>14921955
    Still makes sense.

    >>14921953
    You must use your left hemisphere more often. It will help.
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)05:12 No.14921967
    >>14921959
    0.141% chance of war.
    >> VILE DECEIT 05/14/11(Sat)05:13 No.14921968
    Yesssssssss, thisssss issssss good for you, mortal. We ssssssshall never come ba{++++++++++
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)05:13 No.14921972
    >>14921960
    I also have a Jacket that's Proof against Knives, Ill-Intent, Black Cats, and Bullets; a full (hurray!) flask of Midrange Scotch Whiskey (check that, almost full), a half a pack of Cheap Ciggarettes, a Magic Marker, an Awesome Smartphone, and A Purple Lighter That Has Been Chewed On By Me.
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)05:15 No.14921980
    Signing off2368244693019876908346793108761983461346136871678186781478671846789237690823498687237617396789300
    2348967238976982367342786879771000184716071765360750143189097436910498623681204390146798623568489601
    5897326918230123658436719
    >> WAR CULTURE 05/14/11(Sat)05:15 No.14921981
    >>14921967
    I HATE YOU SO MUCH A NEW TINY DEMON IS FORMING. IT'S CALLED "THE SEARING HATRED WAR CULTURE HAS FOR Cold And Rational Logic". I HATE IT.
    >> VERMIN AND DECAY 05/14/11(Sat)05:15 No.14921982
    >>14921963
    FOR LOGIC, YOU ZZZZZZERTAINLY ARE DENZZZE. HE CAN'T ZZZZZZZZZHELP TALKING LIKE ZZZZZAT, YOU ZZZTUPI-*****************
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)05:16 No.14921988
    >>14921972
    Oh! Also the Jacket smells because I never wash it and I have no pants!
    >> VIOLENCE AND SUFFERING 05/14/11(Sat)05:17 No.14921990
    >>14921981
    PACK IT IN, KID. SHE HAS TO FUCK UP AGAIN SOMETIME.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:17 No.14921991
    >>14921972

    Thank you, Merit! That's good to know. And yes, you should get some pants to go with that. You mentioned earlier you had some money on you. Do you still have it? If there are any clothes shops around that are open 24/7 you could try going there and buying a pair.

    If you don't actually have money, though, things are going to be a little trickier...
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:18 No.14921999
    >>14921991
    Try changing Amazingly Good At Handjobs to Amazingly Good At Performing Sexual Favors.
    After that, it's all easy.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:18 No.14922000
    >>14921988

    I don't suppose it's possible to write 'always smells and looks like new' on your clothes? The clothes you have now, I mean. It might help.

    But, main point, pants. How's the money / shops situation where you are?
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)05:19 No.14922003
    514386101746978109867438797601678978490134I'm back now.

    Physicist was working on something groundbreaking in another part of the Milky Way.

    >>14921982
    I know that. I just wanted him to know that despite his claims that he is only logical because of me, he is still logical even without me.
    >> WAR CULTURE 05/14/11(Sat)05:19 No.14922005
    >>14921990
    FUCK THAT NOISE. I'M ON THIS LITTLE BRAINDAMAGED HANDJOB-DISPENSING ALCOHOLIC HOBO CUNT LIKE WHITE ON RICE! SHE SO MUCH AS SMEARS THAT Anathem to Demons WHILE SHE'S FLICKING HER BEAN AND SHE'S MINE
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:19 No.14922009
    >>14921999

    Look, I'm pretty sure we can come up with a better source of income in the long run for Merit, okay. Not that this is a bad idea, but still.
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)05:20 No.14922013
    >>14921990
    >>14921981
    0.00000000000000002352% chance she never fucks up again.

    You are almost correct, but not certainly.
    >> VIOLENCE AND SUFFERING 05/14/11(Sat)05:22 No.14922024
    >>14922005
    MINE FIRST. NEXT TIME, I WON'T LEAVE THE AMATEURS TO IT. HER GUTS WILL DECORATE THE ENTIRE COUNTRY WHEN I'M DONE.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:23 No.14922034
    >>14922024
    >>14922005
    >>14922013

    Guys, I'm honestly curious about something.

    You're all supposed to be pretty cool demons. Or metaphysical concepts or whatever. Any way you could talk to each other without using this thread? I mean, honestly, the image I'm getting right now is that you're all too busy posting on 4chan's /tg following some quest board to actually be any use at what... your actual jobs or purposes may be.
    >> ILLOGIC 05/14/11(Sat)05:24 No.14922040
    >>14922013
    SINCE WHEN DID THAT MATTER? THERE WAS LITTLE CHANCE IN THE FIRST PLACE, SO SHE'S BOUND TO DO IT AGAIN BECAUSE I SAID SO.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)05:24 No.14922041
    >>14921999
    Meh. Whenever I give blowjobs the guy always grabs my head and sticks his penis down my throat. That's not as fun as it sounds.
    >>14922000
    Always Clean Clothes? Hey, that's a good idea!
    >>14922038
    Who are you talking to, Cold And Rational Logic?
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)05:25 No.14922047
    >>14922034
    Think of our fight as a rock. And Merit as the sun.

    Merit casts a shadow of our fight on the board.

    Understand?
    >> VIOLENCE AND SUFFERING 05/14/11(Sat)05:26 No.14922054
    >>14922034
    I AM. AND I PERPETRATE MYSELF. THAT IS MY JOB.
    YOU READ THIS BECAUSE OF BLEEDTHROUGH INTO HER DEVICE.
    >> WAR CULTURE 05/14/11(Sat)05:26 No.14922057
    >>14922034
    SHUT THE FUCK UP STUPID HUMAN OUR DEMONIC WAYS ARE FAR TO SOPHISTICATED FOR YOUR TINY MEATBRAIN TO COMPREHEND!
    BESIDES, AS DEMONS WE'RE NATURALLY ATTRACTED TO 4chan. I MEAN, THINK ABOUT IT.
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)05:27 No.14922060
    >>14922041
    1. If it is not as fun as it sounds, you could write it on yourself that it is fun.
    3. I am talking to you.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:27 No.14922061
    >>14922041

    Let's take things one step at a time, then.

    Write 'Always Clean' on your clothes- heck, maybe write 'Always Clean' on yourself if there's space, while you're at it.

    And then, pants. Do you have money? If yes, go to the nearest clothes shop that's open and buy some. If no, then- hm, we'll either have to find a way to steal a pair or earn some money to buy a pair.
    >> THE RAPE OF TEN THOUSAND VIRGINS 05/14/11(Sat)05:27 No.14922066
    >>14922041
    NNNNNGH. YOU. WON'T. HAVE. A. CHOICE. NEXT. TI++++++++++
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)05:29 No.14922074
    >>14922040
    Ah, hello there my son. I won't bother explaining your problem, you wouldn't understand anyways.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:29 No.14922078
    >>14922057

    This actually makes sense.

    It's just... haha, a little odd that this currently seems to be Merit, one Anonymous, a bunch of guys who POST IN ALLCAPS ALL THE TIME and another who claims to be logical but fails to substantiate most of what he says. Still, it's interesting to watch.

    Haha, maybe I should start nicknaming you guys, it'll be easier to type out.

    Merit, you're still there? Keep focused, okay.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)05:30 No.14922083
    >>14922060
    You know what's weird? There's a Principle of Being Amazing at Handjobs. There's a Principle of Being an Above-Average Hairdresser. There's a Principle of Never Making Right Turns. There's even a Principle of Being Sexually Obsessed Performing Fellatio on Dogs (don't ask why I know that). But there is NO Principle of Enjoying It When A Cock Is Forced Down Your Throat Unexpectedly. Who fucking knew?
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)05:32 No.14922090
    >>14922061
    > Write 'Always Clean' on your clothes- heck, maybe write 'Always Clean' on yourself if there's space, while you're at it.
    This is an Amazingly Aweseom Plan! I'm doing it!
    > And then, pants. Do you have money? If yes, go to the nearest clothes shop that's open and buy some. If no, then- hm, we'll either have to find a way to steal a pair or earn some money to buy a pair.
    No Money! Boo!
    >> ILLOGIC 05/14/11(Sat)05:32 No.14922091
    >>14922074
    WITHOUT ME THERE WOULD BE NO YOU. I DON'T NEED YOU, THOUGH, BECAUSE THIS GUY TOLD ME YOU DON'T EXIST ANYWAYS.
    >> Pedantic Anon 05/14/11(Sat)05:33 No.14922098
    >>14922083
    It's all in the wording. Try rewording it.

    Also, I was gone for the fight, sorry about that. Glad to see you're fine though.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:33 No.14922102
    >>14922083

    Hm, it's not actually that weird. If you look at the ones you listed, all the principles stem from things you do, or initiate. Someone else forcing something on you, that's... different. If this pattern holds, then a Principle of Compulsively Washing Hands After Touching Anything should also exist, but a Principle of Getting Hugged By Random Strangers shouldn't. Do me a favour, Merit -- check if this hypothesis holds, will you?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:33 No.14922103
    >>14922083
    You didn't expect cock in your mouth when giving a blowjob?
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)05:33 No.14922104
    >>14922078
    > Merit, you're still there? Keep focused, okay.
    I'm so focused right now, you don't even know! I've got like four cigarettes going and I'm Getting Some Serious Drinking Done at the same time!
    Multitasking! Hurray!
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)05:34 No.14922106
    >>14922091
    Watching you think is like watching a train crash into a skyscraper. Among the infinite amount of other things it is like.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)05:35 No.14922108
    >>14922098
    I knew you were with me in Spirit, Pedantic Anon!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:36 No.14922120
    >>14922090

    Glad to hear that! It'll probably help if you're clean.

    And... money. Augh, that's going to be a problem. Or -- considering your skill set, perhaps not. Here are a few possibilities that we can work with:

    To be written on yourself:
    'Always coming across hidden stashes of money'
    'Always finding decent sums money in appropriate currencies in easily accessible hiding spots'
    'Perfect at spotting business opportunities'

    Would any of these be feasible as a short term measure?
    >> Pedantic Anon 05/14/11(Sat)05:37 No.14922122
    >>14922102
    If that theory holds, then:
    Allows Cocks To Be Forced Down Your Throat Unexpectedly And Enjoys It When She Does

    Might suffice. Not that I recommend it.

    Also, Merit? Get a pen that you can write very small with.

    OR a do-it-yourself tattoo machine.
    >> Pedantic Anon 05/14/11(Sat)05:37 No.14922127
    >>14922122
    Sorry, should be HER throat. Her.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:38 No.14922131
    >>14922122
    > OR a do-it-yourself tattoo machine.
    THIS THIS THIS
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:38 No.14922133
    >>14922122

    I... ah, don't know if a tattoo machine's a good idea. What if she needs to erase some of those things she wrote? You never know. I personally think it's better to keep things flexible just in case.
    >> ILLOGIC 05/14/11(Sat)05:39 No.14922141
    >>14922106
    TRAIN CRASHES KILL PEOPLE. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE KILLS PEOPLE? HEART ATTACKS. CAUSED BY STOCK CRASHES. WHICH ARE CAUSED BY LOGIC. COINCIDENCE?
    YOU CAUSE TRAIN CRASHES, YOU MURDERER.
    >> Pedantic Anon 05/14/11(Sat)05:39 No.14922146
    >>14922133
    I don't think that Anathema To Demons will ever be unnecessary.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)05:40 No.14922147
    >>14922120
    I know! I'll write "Always Has Twenty Dollars In The Pocket" on my Jacket! You're brilliant, Anonymous!
    >>14922131
    What's a Tattoo?
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)05:40 No.14922150
    >>14922141
    And here we go again. Just like back during the Black Plague.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:41 No.14922153
    >>14921972
    What do you have written on them (and yourself)?
    >>14922102
    It would follow then that there's no Principle of Not Having Cocks Forced Down Your Throat Unexpectedly. But enjoyment, on the other hand, is self-initiated. So it is still kind of a weird exception.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:41 No.14922155
    >>14922146

    That... is true. It's something we'll consider for the future, in that case. I think she's more currently occupied with getting money and then pants at the moment, though, so if we could look into that?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:42 No.14922167
    >>14922147
    It's permanent writing that you can't get rid of.

    Also, write:
    Always Allows Cocks To Be Forced Down Her Throat Unexpectedly And Enjoys It When She Does

    Because blowjobs are worth way more than handjobs.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)05:42 No.14922168
    Why is everyone so fixated on cocks being forced down my throat?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:43 No.14922175
    >>14922168
    Because you can use that to get Pants and Money.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:43 No.14922177
    FOR FUCKS SAKE
    Merit!
    Find a Box.
    Write "Has Pants That Will Fit Merit Inside It" on the Box.
    Receive Pants.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:44 No.14922184
    >>14922147

    Nah, you're brilliant! Or as you said, we make a good team.

    Then, with the first set of $20, you ought to go buy yourself some pants. When you do, write down everything you have on your jacket on them as well, okay? So they're also immune to the same set of things.

    A tattoo's sort of like... something you write on yourself that can't ever be rubbed or washed off. There are ways to remove it, but most of them either hurt a lot, are very expensive and/or involve cutting off the offending piece of skin.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:44 No.14922186
    >>14922147
    Write '20 USD', because it's smaller.
    >> ILLOGIC 05/14/11(Sat)05:44 No.14922187
    >>14922150
    CAUSED BY RATS FARTING BAD AIR IN LEAGUE WITH JEWS. DUH.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)05:45 No.14922190
    >>14922175
    I can get money from Handjobs!
    No, wait, now I just always have money in my jacket pocket!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:46 No.14922199
    'cause anonymous are nasty little perverts, Merit. Also, you should stop earning money by giving sexual favors - I'm not sure that you're immunized against aids.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:46 No.14922200
    >>14922120
    Maybe we can broaden that... how about "Not required to hold up her side of bargains, and incurs no ill will in the process?"
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)05:46 No.14922204
    >>14922177
    This is the Best Plan Ever!
    Yay new pants! No more running around in my undies!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:46 No.14922207
    What the flying fuckballs is going on in this thread.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:47 No.14922210
    >>14922190

    Yep! This is a better way of always having money that involves less effort on your part, and you should stick to it, okay? It would probably keep you out of trouble as well.

    I think what the other Anon said about finding a box and writing 'has pants' is a pretty good idea, too. See if it works.
    >> Pedantic Anon 05/14/11(Sat)05:47 No.14922214
    >>14922190
    Wait, so you can take out $20, put it on the ground, and then take out $20 more, and put it on the ground, and have $40?

    Just do it over and over and you can probably rent a cheap hotel room.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)05:47 No.14922215
    >>14922184
    Tattoos sound Super Useful! I need to look into this...
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:47 No.14922218
    >>14922190
    They problem being that money, especially $20, will not always get you what you neI'M GONNA FUCKING RAPE YOUed, so you need alternate ways of persuasion.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)05:48 No.14922226
    >>14922200
    Actually, I'm INCORRUPTIBLE. It's part-and-parcel with Knowing The Secrets Of The Universe! I can suck and fuck anything I like!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:50 No.14922237
    >>14922214

    I'm seconding this idea, though- Merit, did you remember to write down all the stuff you have on your jacket onto your new pants? Make sure they protect you too, okay?

    After that, get about $100 out of your money stash and find a place to stay for the night. How are you feeling right now? Physically, I mean. Tired? Upbeat? I know you said you were focused, but I actually suspect that's because of all the stuff you're on...
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:50 No.14922238
    >>14922214
    Ok, wait.

    It takes about three seconds to take the $20 out and put it in a pile.

    So then in a minute you can make $400.

    In an hour, you can make $24000

    You can be super rich easily!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:50 No.14922242
    WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:51 No.14922246
    >>14922226
    Then by all means, be a slut. You'll enjoy it. Somehow. Maybe.

    Well, we'll enjoy it anyways.

    Also, just keep pulling money out, forever.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:52 No.14922249
    >>14922199
    Good point. "Perfectly Healthy and Immune to Disease." I'm nominating that for a tattoo, in fact.

    >>14922168
    It's the intellectual challenge of figuring out why it's not a principle. Or maybe just the challenge of forcing cocks down your throat.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)05:52 No.14922252
    >>14922199
    > I'm seconding this idea, though- Merit, did you remember to write down all the stuff you have on your jacket onto your new pants? Make sure they protect you too, okay?
    Okay! Thanks for Reminding Me!

    > After that, get about $100 out of your money stash and find a place to stay for the night. How are you feeling right now? Physically, I mean. Tired? Upbeat? I know you said you were focused, but I actually suspect that's because of all the stuff you're on...
    Nope! Remember I'm fueled by Midrange Scotch Whiskey, Cigarettes, and the Suspicion of Unspoken Love. I don't have to eat or Sleep, just Drink and Smoke and exist wherever Humans do!
    >> Pedantic Anon 05/14/11(Sat)05:53 No.14922258
    "Can Make Up Principles And Have Them Exist Afterwards"

    Then you can win the game!
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)05:53 No.14922261
    > Then by all means, be a slut. You'll enjoy it. Somehow. Maybe.
    I am not a Slut! There's nothing wrong with a Girl liking sex!
    >> Pedantic Anon 05/14/11(Sat)05:55 No.14922266
    >>14922261
    Exactly. Now go deepthroat someone, drink a lot of Midrange Scotch Whiskey, and then hang out in a hotel room you rented with lots of dollar bills.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:55 No.14922270
    >>14922252

    Haha, thanks for reminding me of that. I'm going to assume you've written down everything, though!

    I know you might not have to sleep, but it's probably good if you can find a fairly safe place to stay for a while and demon-proof it. You know, keep yourself out of trouble... unless you want trouble.

    Also, how close do you have to be to humans in general? Could you potentially exist only on the internet? Travel through broadband or something like that?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:55 No.14922273
         File1305366937.jpg-(349 KB, 1600x1200, le_awesome_smiley_by_zeaqual.jpg)
    349 KB
    "Magical Hobo Girl : The Quest"
    >> A PERFECTLY NORMAL FELLOW NOT UNDER THE THRALL OF ANY DEMONS AT ALL 05/14/11(Sat)05:56 No.14922274
    Greetings, fellow human! Isn't it great to breath air?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:56 No.14922275
    >>14922261
    Technically, you're a whore.
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)05:56 No.14922281
    >>14922274
    Nice name.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:57 No.14922287
    >>14922274

    'Isn't it great to breath air', as opposed to breathing... what?
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)05:57 No.14922289
    >>14922249
    > Good point. "Perfectly Healthy and Immune to Disease." I'm nominating that for a tattoo, in fact.
    I already told you, I'm INCORRUPTIBLE.

    >>14922258
    > "Can Make Up Principles And Have Them Exist Afterwards"
    > Then you can win the game!
    I already won the game! Why do you think I'm so happy?

    Also, if I wanted to be Rich I could just write "Is worth a Billion Dollars" on, like, a dead rat or something and sell it at auction. Or write "Is full of Pure Gold" on the side of a Dumpster.
    I don't need to be Rich, or want to!
    I just need Twenty Dollars for Midrange Scotch Whiskey and Cigarettes!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:57 No.14922290
    >>14922275
    Technically, she's a cheap whore.
    >> A PERFECTLY NORMAL FELLOW NOT UNDER THE THRALL OF ANY DEMONS AT ALL 05/14/11(Sat)05:58 No.14922292
    >>14922281
    What ever could you be talking about? I would never RAPE AND SLAUGHTER that CUNTWHO- nice girl over there.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:59 No.14922294
    >>14922289
    But then to what end do you exist?

    Do you exist merely to exist?

    If you have some other purpose, it would no doubt be somehow easier, were you wealthy.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)05:59 No.14922298
         File1305367180.png-(418 KB, 511x416, 1305077319565.png)
    418 KB
    If you had only wedged the phone in your ass the adventure could've been so much more...
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)05:59 No.14922300
    >>14922292
    All I said was that your name was nice. Why so on edge?

    I'd laugh, but I can't.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)06:00 No.14922302
    >>14922266
    > Now go deepthroat someone, drink a lot of Midrange Scotch Whiskey, and then hang out in a hotel room you rented with lots of dollar bills.
    Oddly enough, being chased by Demons who were Loudly And Specifically Describing the ways they were going to Forcibly violate my Flesh for an Hour didn't put me in the mood. For deepthroating that is, I'm totally in the Mood for Drinking Midrange Scotch Whiskey, as I am at all times.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)06:00 No.14922303
    >>14922290
    I don't know, twenty dollars for just a blowjob isn't what I'd call cheap.

    But I'm a miser.

    >>14922298
    You know, I'm curious as to what that phone could do.
    >> A PERFECTLY NORMAL FELLOW NOT UNDER THE THRALL OF ANY DEMONS AT ALL 05/14/11(Sat)06:00 No.14922304
    >>14922287
    Oh nothing, just a few more yar- I mean just making idle speech and such things. I also enjoy drinking water and ingesting food.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)06:02 No.14922310
    >>14922302
    I think this requires an "In The Mood".

    Possibly on the phone.

    Now that would be fucking weird. Any time your phone rings, you suddenly get a craving for sex? I'm pretty sure that's already a fetish.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)06:02 No.14922312
    >>14922304

    It's kind of hard for humans to breathe 'nothing', you know.

    So, what're you doing here? Planning on lending Merit a hand?
    >> Pedantic Anon 05/14/11(Sat)06:02 No.14922315
    >>14922302
    And the hotel room?

    Seriously, I'm sure that laying on a bed and not concrete will do wonders for you.
    >> A PERFECTLY NORMAL FELLOW NOT UNDER THE THRALL OF ANY DEMONS AT ALL 05/14/11(Sat)06:02 No.14922317
    >>14922300
    Of course. I am, after all, just some male out stretching his feet.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)06:03 No.14922320
    >>14922289
    You mentioned the Aspect of Mucking About earlier. What would happen if you were to write The Very Best at Mucking About on yourself?
    >> A PERFECTLY NORMAL FELLOW NOT UNDER THE THRALL OF ANY DEMONS AT ALL 05/14/11(Sat)06:04 No.14922326
    >>14922312
    Exactly, I'm planning on giving her my hand and not cannibalizing her ever a little.
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)06:04 No.14922327
    >>14922317
    Ok, maybe I can laugh a little bit. I was saving it for when string theory gets disproved, but:

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)06:04 No.14922328
    >>14922320
    That should be a tattoo.

    There is no doubt that this....creature...is The Very Best At Mucking About.
    >> DEFINITELY NOT POSSESSED EITHER Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)06:05 No.14922331
    >>14922274
    As opposed to lungfuls of flame and the scent of the blood of the righteous and pure, spilled across the earth? I beg to differ, fellow human.
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)06:05 No.14922333
    >>14922327
    Oh dear. That was quiteHAHAHAHAHAHAunlike me.

    Odd. I must away to study myself further, so as to discover the problem.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)06:06 No.14922334
    >>14922317

    Define 'normal'. Normal as per what? In the sense of taking the mean output of the sum of all characteristics across a sample including every single male who is currently alive? Or every single male who browses 4chan? Or even every single male giraffe? I'm sure the three are all quite different.
    >> A PERFECTLY NORMAL FELLOW NOT UNDER THE THRALL OF ANY DEMONS AT ALL 05/14/11(Sat)06:06 No.14922336
    >>14922327
    Yes, haw haw haw. I knew that laughter was a sound and not an impulse before now, you know.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)06:07 No.14922337
    >>14922303
    It's not Twenty Dollars for a Blowjob, it's Sixty Dollars for an Amazing Handjob.
    My Awesome Phone can do the following:
    1. Holographically Projected 3-D Widescreen With Gesture Interface!
    2. Firefox 4 - The Totally Awesome Secret Version!
    3. Speakerphone!
    4. 4 Petawatt MASER!
    5. Has a nifty leather Cover!
    6. Totally Media Player with integratted Bittorrent and Autotagging!
    7. Shoots Grappling Hooks with Monofilament Goo and retracts it automatically so I don't cut off my fingers!
    8. NSA no longer monitors all my ingoing/outgoing calls & Internet usage, but I can still talk to Phillis because she's nice to me!
    9. Isotopic-Heat based battery has 10,000,000 years between charges!
    10. Telepathic Input so I can talk while fleeing from demons and crying so hard I thought my eys melted!
    11. The case is not cracked at all!
    12. Has a cool little Japanese charm thingy that it came with!
    13. Can totally play MKV files!
    >> Cold Rational And Annoyed With Morons Logic 05/14/11(Sat)06:08 No.14922339
    >>14922336
    FFFFFFFFFFwhat is happening?
    >> A PERFECTLY NORMAL FELLOW NOT UNDER THE THRALL OF ANY DEMONS AT ALL 05/14/11(Sat)06:09 No.14922343
    >>14922331
    >HUMANS DON'T BREATH THAT SHIT YOU MORON, READ THE SCRIPT
    Greeting, other man I do not know? How's it going not planning on gang raping any homeless girls?
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)06:09 No.14922345
    >>14922310
    Oddly enough, I'm SO not in the mood that I'm not in the mood to force myself to be in the mood!
    Meta!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)06:09 No.14922346
    >>14922337
    But if you only need twenty dollars, what do you do with the other forty?

    Besides, what's more enjoyable than a blowjob?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)06:09 No.14922348
    >>14922337

    Wait.

    Merit, who exactly is Phillis?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)06:10 No.14922352
    >>14922310
    That would just make the phone be in the mood. It would be constantly dialing phone sex lines, then hanging up in disappointment a moment later. It would be pretty sad, to be the only sentient, horny phone in the whole universe. Also it would be tough for Merit to make calls with it.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)06:11 No.14922353
    >>14922346
    > But if you only need twenty dollars, what do you do with the other forty?
    I dunno! I only charge sixty since I wrote Amazingly Good With Money on my belly and realized I was undercharging for Handjobs!

    > Besides, what's more enjoyable than a blowjob?
    I dunno that either, cause I don't have a Penis!
    >> The Trickster 05/14/11(Sat)06:11 No.14922358
    Why hello, girl. I see that you are in need of advice, yes? What would the problem seem to be?
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)06:12 No.14922360
    >>14922352
    Okay, that's even more hilarious than my idea.
    >> Cold Rational And Annoyed With Morons Logic 05/14/11(Sat)06:12 No.14922364
    FUCKING WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?

    GOD I HATE YOU ALL SO FUCKING MUCH!

    WHY DON'T YOU ALL JUST GO AND WORSHIP A BUNCH OF FUCKING CLOUDS YOU STUPID FUCKERS, MAYBE THEY'LL CURE CANCER! OR GET YOU ON THE MOON! WHO KNOWS, ANYTHING CAN FUCKING HAPPEN!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)06:13 No.14922365
    >>14922358

    Thanks, but I think we're cool here. I mean, the only thing any of the other named entities have done is to pretty much end up bickering amongst each other- so far the only people who've been of any real help to Merit are the actually anonymous ones...
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)06:13 No.14922366
    >>14922348
    Oh, Phyllis is an NSA Analyst who used to read all my posts and listen to all my calls. She thought I was crazy. She posed in this thread actually but I think her boss deleted it!
    Oh No! I don't actually know who the Boss of The NSA is!
    Guys, do you think The President deleted Phyllis's post?
    >> A PERFECTLY NORMAL FELLOW NOT UNDER THE THRALL OF ANY DEMONS AT ALL 05/14/11(Sat)06:13 No.14922367
    >>14922337
    >SHIT. WHAT IF THIS FLESHY TUBE THING AND WHY IS IT HARDENING WHEN I SEE TEAR STREAKS AND HEAR REFERENCES TO THIS "CRYING" THING?
    Say, where exactly are you, Meh-rit?
    >> SARCASM 05/14/11(Sat)06:14 No.14922373
    >>14922364
    Hmm. I like this one.
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)06:15 No.14922378
    Well that was JUST FUCKING odd. I wonder why THE FUCK this is happening.
    >> A PERFECTLY NORMAL FELLOW NOT UNDER THE THRALL OF ANY DEMONS AT ALL 05/14/11(Sat)06:15 No.14922380
    >>14922364
    Wait. Oh, PISS. Uh, I'm just conversing with my flesh brain and I do not perceive any emanations whatsoever.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)06:15 No.14922382
    >>14922358
    Ho-Ly Shit, is that motherfucking The Trickster up in this bitch?
    How the Fuck is it going my Anthropomorphic Personification/Archetypical Godhead? I haven't seen you since... when was it? Ragnarok?
    >> Pedantic Anon 05/14/11(Sat)06:16 No.14922385
    >>14922366
    No, I think that someone else runs the NSA for the president.
    >> A PERFECTLY NORMAL FELLOW NOT UNDER THE THRALL OF ANY DEMONS AT ALL 05/14/11(Sat)06:17 No.14922390
    >>14922378
    Hey, hallucination I do not see. Where's the meat I mean girl?
    >> The Trickster 05/14/11(Sat)06:18 No.14922391
    >>14922365
    Oh, don't worry, anonymous! I am best at what I do, so why not the same with advice? I am sure she'll learn a thing or two from it. Reading back, I see the source of the problem: they're either demons, or logic's kind! While I may be seen as the former and operate under the latter, trust me, I don't follow either of them. So, if you please, what would be the little lady's predicament, other than being chased by demons?
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)06:18 No.14922393
    >>14922385
    Well that's A Relief! I'd hate to Think that The President had to waste His Time intervening in Phyllis & Me's conversations!

    Also, what's up with Cold And Rational Logic? He's still talking to All Those Demons and They're Using Words I Don't Know!
    He's alright, isn't he? I haven't even prayed for him yet!
    >> Pedantic Anon 05/14/11(Sat)06:19 No.14922398
    >>14922393
    I think he's just mad, somehow. Not sure how Logic can be mad, but it has something to do with people being morons.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)06:20 No.14922402
    >>14922391
    Lolercopters!
    Trickster, you're incorrigible! You haven't gotten me since that one time you tricked me into painting a Sunny Day on the Inside of My Eyelids! I know better than to listen to you.
    So What have you Been Up To?
    >> DEFINITELY NOT POSSESSED EITHER Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)06:22 No.14922406
    >>14922343
    >Hey, screw you, man! I'm just exercising a little artistic license here! The script was terrible anyway. "Hello, miss! Would you care to join me in this Nondescript Van Which Is Not an Infernal Chariot Under an Illusion Spell, filled to the Brim with Midrange Scotch Whiskey?" Bah!
    >> The Trickster 05/14/11(Sat)06:22 No.14922408
    >>14922382
    Ah, you do remember! Well, I did escape the snake poison chamber by tricking the snake to turn into a stick, and then- oh wait, I'm mixing up my stories again. Anyways, nice to see you, girl! And about the Ragnarok, well, you see... let's say that it's over, and at the same time it's about to begin. Ah, no matter. It seemed like you were in trouble?
    >> A PERFECTLY NORMAL FELLOW NOT UNDER THE THRALL OF ANY DEMONS AT ALL 05/14/11(Sat)06:22 No.14922409
    >>14922393
    Why would you identify me a demon? Demons do not exist, as everyone knows.
    This flesh puppe- I mean "I" am not even tracking you down.
    >FUCK WHY CAN'T I HAVE BEEN VILE DECEIT
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)06:22 No.14922410
    >>14922398
    Never, NEVER question the Ways of EMANATIONS. They're very powerful, and very strange, and they don't answer to anyone or anything. You just show Due Deference, throw a prayer their way for good measure, and always be thankful They're On Our Side.
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)06:22 No.14922412
    Life gets in the way of my goals by creating demons...

    I want demons to stop being created so they will not get in the way of my goals...

    If Life doesn't exist demons will not be created...

    Hmm...
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)06:25 No.14922428
    >>14922408
    I was! A bunch of Demons were going to Rape me and Steal My Words so they could Unmake The Universe because I forgot to write "Not A Feast For Demons" on myself!
    It's okay now though, Cold And Rational Logic ran interference for me by Fighting a Battle of Wits terrible Demon called WAR CULTURE long enough to make myself Anathema To Demons!
    Right now I'm just Getting Some Serious Drinking In.
    >> A PERFECTLY NORMAL FELLOW NOT UNDER THE THRALL OF ANY DEMONS AT ALL 05/14/11(Sat)06:26 No.14922431
    >>14922406
    >PRETEND YOU'RE LIKE A FAIRY OR SOME SHIT, BITCHES LOVE FAIRIES. SHIT I DON'T EVEN KNOW, I'M RAPE, NOT DECEIT. THE ONLY WAYS I KNOW HOW TO CAPTURE A WOMAN INVOLVE VIOLENCE, LYING AND/OR SOME FORM OF KNOCKOUT CHEMICAL.
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)06:26 No.14922435
    But then my goals require life to continue...

    But then demons will prevent me from accomplishing my goals...

    So I have to stop them...

    But I can't stop them...

    So I can't accomplish my goals...

    But then I don't need to worry about life...

    So then I can stop demons...

    But why stop demons when they aren't interfering with my goals, which I don't have?

    Wait. I need to start again.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)06:27 No.14922440
    >>14922412
    Please forgive my impudence, EMANATION, but I would advise you not to forget that of all the Manifold Races of Creation, it is Humans who love you the best, Mighty Cold And Rational Logic.
    Don't judge them too harshly. They want so very badly to do Good.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)06:28 No.14922444
    >>14922435
    >>14922412
    And here we see the weakness inherent in thinking like a computer.

    Logic loops.
    >> A PERFECTLY NORMAL FELLOW NOT UNDER THE THRALL OF ANY DEMONS AT ALL 05/14/11(Sat)06:28 No.14922447
    >>14922428
    I daresay these "demons" would have more imagination that just FUCKING ORDINARY ASS RAPE, I MEAN, C'MON CUT US SOME FUCKING SLACK HERE, WE'VE HAD ETERNITY TO PRACTICE. That is, that is what I imagine they would say.
    >FUCK THIS BITCH ANNOYS ME
    >> The Trickster 05/14/11(Sat)06:28 No.14922453
    >>14922402
    Oh, I'm just relaxing, that's all. All that tricking is a pretty tiring job, and I've come to relax in the mortal world... but oh, it seemed that the tricks follow me.

    >>14922412
    Well hello there, kin of Logic! I see that you have stumbled into what some call a dangerous train of thought. Ever think that train would derail and hit someone? You must have. Tell you what, Life creates demons not because it wanted to hinder you... I'll leave the rest to you, you are smart enough to figure it out.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)06:29 No.14922456
    Is nobody else curious about the how and why of Merit's REPEATEDLY MOTHERFUCKING REFERENCED NEVER MOTHERFUCKING EXPLAINED BRAIN DAMAGE?
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)06:31 No.14922467
    So if A is B when C is not B, then A is never C...

    But then when D is C and A is B than...

    Wait.

    I need to start again.
    >> A PERFECTLY NORMAL FELLOW NOT UNDER THE THRALL OF ANY DEMONS AT ALL 05/14/11(Sat)06:31 No.14922470
    >>14922453
    >I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR TRICKING ME INTO CONSENSUAL IF ROUGH SEX, YOU FUCKING MONSTER. WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THAT?
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)06:31 No.14922471
    >>14922453
    > Oh, I'm just relaxing, that's all. All that tricking is a pretty tiring job, and I've come to relax in the mortal world... but oh, it seemed that the tricks follow me.
    That's my The Trickster! You should hang around awhile, these Cats are pretty cool.
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)06:33 No.14922476
    C1 D3, A5 B9, then D2 A3, C8 B2, then....

    No, wait, that's wrong...

    Then D2 A4, C8 B5...

    No...

    D3 A2? But then...

    No, wait...
    >> A PERFECTLY NORMAL FELLOW NOT UNDER THE THRALL OF ANY DEMONS AT ALL 05/14/11(Sat)06:33 No.14922477
    Don't mind my form degrading and flesh falling off, I just need to go find someone to replace me.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)06:34 No.14922487
    >>14922456
    Oh, That.
    Yeah, I kinda got my skull crushed by a Baseball Bat this one time, but I wrote "Amazingly Good At Not Getting Her Skull Crushed By A Baseball Bat Again" on myself so it's okay!
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)06:35 No.14922499
    >>14922476
    Stop.
    Reboot.
    >> A DIFFERENT NORMAL UNCONNECTED FELLOW NOT UNDER THE THRALL OF ANY DEMONS AT ALL 05/14/11(Sat)06:39 No.14922515
    >>14922476
    >You know what? Fuck it. Hey, faggot, if you're so logical, why do you act against entropy and chaos? You shouldn't be taking sides.
    >> Cold And Rational Logic 05/14/11(Sat)06:39 No.14922516
    No...

    Yes?

    I'm so sorry, Merit. A+B=D when C is neither E nor B.

    I must go.
    >> The Trickster 05/14/11(Sat)06:40 No.14922521
    >>14922470
    Oh, nothing, nothing at all. *snicker*

    >>14922471
    Ooh, cats? I do love using a lavender-scented cattail to trick them. Children of Bastet are fun that way. Sometimes you can just pick one up and look into their eyes, and you could be on a phone line with Bastet! But most of the time they'll just claw your face off. They also make great trick elements! Oh dear- here I go, thinking about my job when I'm supposed to be on vacation.
    By the way, brethren of the anonymous, I must say, though the trick you did earlier was somewhat crude, it's a classic. Keep up training your Tricks, maybe sometime you could challenge me to a game of 52 questions!
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)06:40 No.14922522
    >>14922516
    What. Does. That. Even. Mean.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)06:41 No.14922527
    >>14922431
    >I'm not Vile Deceit, Vile Deceit had the week off. I'm only White Lies. Now get in character!
    Pardon me miss, we haven't met, but we're your fairy godparents. Due to some unpleasant circumstances, it appears that you are the last heir of the Mountain King! Big Rock Candy Mountain, that is. They have 200 foot waterfalls of Midrange Scotch Whiskey there, you know. The next biggest one is only 60 feet or so. I have with me a sample of it, in case you don't believe me. It's definitely not a leaky flask full of highly volatile magic marker solvent. So drink up, and let us be on our way, your destiny awaits!
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)06:42 No.14922528
    >>14922516
    That's okay, Cold And Rational Logic. Be At Peace.
    >> SADISM 05/14/11(Sat)06:44 No.14922536
    >>14922516
    WELL THAT'S FUCKING GREAT. NOW WE JUST NEED TO GET MERIT TO WIPE THAT LITTLE PRINCIPLE OFF AND WE CAN GET TO WORK.

    I'LL JUST WAIT HERE FOR NOW.
    >> The Trickster 05/14/11(Sat)06:45 No.14922541
    >>14922522
    Oh, my. Logic just left the building. It's going to be much more interesting from now on!
    Also, I remember a good old saying: "When live gives you demons, why not make demonade?"
    Well, or don't make demonade, get mad, and then order your henchmen to devise flammable explosive demons and throw it at Life's house. Ha! I do like that Cave Johnson fellow. Whatta personality.
    >> A DIFFERENT NORMAL UNCONNECTED FELLOW NOT UNDER THE THRALL OF ANY DEMONS AT ALL 05/14/11(Sat)06:46 No.14922549
    >>14922527
    Yep, that's us. We are the... Burger Kings. That's our name.
    >SERIOUSLY, THE FUCK IS THIS FLESH STICK THING AND WHY DOES IT KEEP STICKING UP? IS THIS A HUMAN RAPEROD? THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN USING BY PROXY ALL THIS TIME?
    >> A DIFFERENT NORMAL UNCONNECTED FELLOW NOT UNDER THE THRALL OF ANY DEMONS AT ALL 05/14/11(Sat)06:47 No.14922556
    >>14922541
    >I SWORE TO YOU ON THAT DAY THAT I WOULD RAPE YOU TO DEATH FOR THAT IF IT TOOK ME ETERNITY AND I PLAN ON KEEPING THAT PROMISE
    >> WRAP UP Merit 05/14/11(Sat)06:49 No.14922562
         File1305370199.jpg-(618 KB, 1114x783, 1287473555520.jpg)
    618 KB
    Alrighty, then. It's about time to wrap this up I think.
    Gentlemen, I'd like to thank you all for participating in the experimental "Abnormal Quest"! Overall I'm quiet pleased with the results, especially given how badly I failed the last time I tried my hand at this.
    I'd especially like to thank Cold And Rational Logic, the various Demons, and Pedantic Anon for being such good sports.
    In the interest of full disclosure I'll now reveal that, yes, I was same-fagging quiet a bit to move the story along. In fact for the first TWO HOURS I was basically talking to myself exclusively trying to build up momentum. I also played several of the Demons which I'm sure is no surprise.

    If any of you have questions I'll gladly answer them now.
    >> The Trickster 05/14/11(Sat)06:51 No.14922567
    >>14922527
    Tsk, tsk, tsk. I thought I gave you demons a good lecture on tricking when I visited Hell that one time. Still shoddy. You should've gone and put more half-truths and maybe, just maybe, some more real truth, and make a good persuasion. Masterpiece tricks are made with patience and planning, you know.
    >> DEFINITELY NOT POSSESSED EITHER 05/14/11(Sat)06:51 No.14922570
    >>14922521
    Hey, who're you calling crude, buster?
    I have something to say about that, and if the denizens of the 7th plane hadn't cursed themselves to silence, I bet they would too!
    >> WRAP UP BLAH BLAH - Writing for the Archive Merit 05/14/11(Sat)06:58 No.14922599
    For future reference, the objective of this Quest was to break with the usual Quest-Thread paradigm in several ways. The most obvious is, of course, that the Main Character was already established. This was intended to save time in light of the second objective, which was to have a one-shot, one-thread quest that had satisfying fuck-around period, build up, and conclusion while still having maximum audience participation.
    Please note, this isn't because I dislike the existing QuestThreads, it's only because I feel there's far more room for variation in this particular medium.
    Only now I'm so pleased with the results that now I'm considering making this a serial thread. Does that mean I failed, or over-succeeded? It probably means I'm just smug. Oh fucking well.
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)07:02 No.14922615
    >>14922599
    Fun thread. I, too, would like more than one.
    >> The Trickster 05/14/11(Sat)07:03 No.14922619
    >>14922599
    I do say that this thread is a brilliant one. A different kind of quest thread, written in first-person accounts of not only the characters, but also any entities which came up across the protagonist's way. Applause good sir.

    >Does that mean I failed, or over-succeeded? It probably means I'm just smug. Oh fucking well.
    I like the cut of your jib. But a few suggestions: while this one's main character is more of an off-the-rail type (I mean you did allow her pants off), why not create a new one next time, with maybe a kind of 'filter' built in? Just my two cents, but hey, you'll never know when you'll need money.
    >> WRAP UP BLAH BLAH - Writing for the Archive Merit 05/14/11(Sat)07:07 No.14922638
    If anyone would like to borrow any or all elements of this quest, you have my humble permission. For your Reference, and for anyone who wants to create a similar Quest, I include the following.
    This Quest was supposed to be a Sandbox from which a quest would naturally emerge.
    Merit is brain-damaged so that the Players have a way to help her. I chose short-term memory and focus problems mostly because they were plausible. Variations on this theme shouldn't be hard to come up with. (I tried a similar trick in my abortive Starship Quest with mixed results)
    The reason everything about Merit's abilities is so vaugly described is because I needed to be able to limit what she could do arbitrarily without limiting the nearly godlike extent of her abilities. This is, again, a problem I dealt with less successfully in Starship Quest.
    The whole Demon-Plot this was just something that evolved from the interplay, which was the whole idea. I wanted to turn the players loose with a prebuilt but unguided character to see where they took it. At first they took it to a bodega to offer handjobs, then they took it altering an assumption about the Character, and from there I took it to DEMONS DEMONS OMG. It felt a bit clunky to me, but not terrible.
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)07:10 No.14922651
    > while this one's main character is more of an off-the-rail type (I mean you did allow her pants off), why not create a new one next time, with maybe a kind of 'filter' built in? Just my two cents, but hey, you'll never know when you'll need money.
    I'll be happy to discuss this more if my last post doesn't answer this to your satisfaction.
    In fact I'm happy to discuss it either way because the whole thing was experimental.

    >>14922615
    I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for playing.
    >> DEFINITELY NOT POSSESSED EITHER 05/14/11(Sat)07:11 No.14922656
    >>14922562
    Damn, you type fast. The Principles are pretty OP and limited only by the character, so if you were to change anything I would consider railroading the action a little more rather than leaving Anon to brainstorm elaborate and gramatically perfect phrases to fix everything forever. Make the whole thing like the demon fight. It'll be Vocabulary-Oriented Puzzle Quest then, but that's fun too. (That is, assuming you don't want it to be totally open-ended.)
    Aside from that, cool, imaginative quest, thanks for running it!
    >> Merit 05/14/11(Sat)07:17 No.14922673
    >>14922656
    If I was running this with the solitary goal of having an action-packed quest I would have done exactly that.
    In fact, I almost DID with the whole NSA hook, but then I fucked up like a complete amateur by posting under the WRONG GODDAMN NAME and decided just to gloss it over. I think the Demons were more fun anyway.

    A Note on the Demons: It was both a terrible distraction and an awful lot of fun. I think I'm going to actively work it in to the next experimental thread if I can, possibly by running it in a parallel thread.
    >> A NOTE FOR THE ARCHIVE Merit 05/14/11(Sat)07:26 No.14922697
    If you're using this as a Reference, be advised of the following: ANONYMOUS IS ADD AS FUCK.
    Note how they didn't follow up on Lucas THE FUCKING VIVISECTOR, or the Brain-Damage hook. This is an asset, you can strew random hooks into your set-up and then set them later either through clever GMing or by samefagging (another useful trick in my experience)
    >> Anonymous 05/14/11(Sat)13:08 No.14924830
    rolled 64 = 64

    You were running Starship quest?

    The one with Gates technology and stuff?

    Why did you drop it?



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