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    60 KB Dark Overlord Quest Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/16/11(Mon)19:04 No.14949512  
    Long ago, in a land of ancient secrets and powerful magic, there was a mortal man. This man, this singular will, would become the Dark One, the greatest evil of all time. His rise to power, and his glorious victories over the pathetic forces of GOOD, have become mythical in their own right. His name, uttered as a terrible and horrifying curse, is used only by the most cruel and sadistic of mortals. Those who by some miracle lived through his reign of terror fear his return above all else, for he alone do they consider "About as evil as the taxman. Maybe."

    That hasn't changed? I would think that torturing elves would count for something. Maybe it's the fact that Drow are evil too. But wouldn't the fact that you tortured someone LESS evil than yourself do something? Maybe I'm over thinking this whole thing.

    Now, we left off with you and the witch-mayor in the dungeon, torturing the Drow winner of the Mooncrown Arena's opening games. She has just received a fist to the face, I believe, courtesy of your favorite female magic user. How nice of her.

    It reminds me of your birthday last year, do you remember? Oh how the terrified nobles begged for mercy as they slowly burned to death.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/16/11(Mon)19:08 No.14949558
    Your witch smiles as the Drow coughs out blood through her broken jaw. Leaning forward to speak to the Drow, you begin with a word, and for your troubles, receive a wad of blood soaked spit to the face. The Drow laughs, and coughs up more blood.
    "Hahaha. Is this really the best you can do? Pathetic."

    That... She... What... How dare she!?

    >Previous Threads, for your consideration:
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:11 No.14949608
    Laugh and skip the entire physical torture thing with PIE. Then get to indoctrinating, should be hilarious.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:13 No.14949621
         File1305587614.png-(18 KB, 248x207, tumblr_lfjli0GW3K1qb4ipc.png)
    18 KB
    Calmly light her on fire with your mind.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:16 No.14949660
    Order our beautiful spider children down here.

    Its time they tested their new molten dragon blood spitters.

    Non-lethally though. Just to see the effetc it has on mortal flesh.
    >> Taffer 05/16/11(Mon)19:18 No.14949684
    rolled 90 = 90

    I'd like to begin with a few words.

    "You know something, dear Dricree, this could all have been avoided if you had been polite towards me. Or indifferent. That would have been fine. But now you have forced my hand. You have made me ...impolite. I do ever so hate being impolite. Ah well, but now is not the time for me to regret. It is your time. My lovely Lliara will now teach you some manners. Please begin, Lliara. I wish to watch."

    After she's done, we have some pie.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:19 No.14949687
         File1305587954.jpg-(76 KB, 700x394, spider.jpg)
    76 KB
    Unrelated to topic at hand, as soon as we get the materials, we need to make this.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:20 No.14949707
    Have we decided on the robo-drider issue yet?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:22 No.14949733
    >I would think that torturing elves would count for something. Maybe it's the fact that Drow are evil too.
    Fuck torturing elves, we had an entire crowd of people screaming their approval as adventurers messily died by the hundreds for their amusement! How is THAT not evil?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:25 No.14949758
    Maybe some of the blame gets taken off us because the crowd cheered when half of them drowned.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:27 No.14949782
    We should if anything get bonus points for inspiring others to also delight in evil.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:28 No.14949799

    More people were leaning toward Pie and Pact as the best way to deal with this Drow. Spending a soul on her is economical if we use her for the long game.

    Plus, with her stuck in a Pact with us we can safely publically humiliate her.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:29 No.14949810
    I am for it.

    The filthy Drow does not deserve anything else.

    This is a great time to test some SCIENCE!

    1. burn her legs off with the dragon blood

    2. have our spider weave some steel cables, painfully graft them to her leg muscles

    3. Hook her up to the spider legs

    4. Have our witch use her magic to keep her concious during this whole ordeal.

    5. ??????

    6. PROFIT
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:29 No.14949818
    But we /can/ put her in a robotic drider body, right? We can even get our new dragon-blood spitters to melt her legs off!
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:30 No.14949834
    Nope. Lots just said torture her until she breaks.
    I agree. Mind control is too good for her. She INSULTED US TO OUR FACE IN FRONT OF A LACKEY.
    Completely break her mind, Miniluv style.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:33 No.14949862
    Seconding these.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:33 No.14949867
    Torture her over the next few months, or if it takes that long, years.
    Hire professional torturers for this.
    She must be broken and brought to heel. Everything else is secondary.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:33 No.14949870

    >> Taffer 05/16/11(Mon)19:34 No.14949874
    I am for Mecha-drider-ing her, but we should mind control and dark pact her using one of the other prisoners here. Then we cut her legs off, of course with no painkillers, and tell her that she needs to be punished for her actions and that we are punishing her for her own good.

    Lastly, we'll use the same contract we used on the witch on the drow.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:36 No.14949898
    Can we break her mind, but then get her to willingly accept a pact? Insult to injury, and all that.

    On a side note, have we talked to our Orc Samurai yet?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:36 No.14949899

    How are we going to explain her disappearing?

    Robo-drider has a bunch of problems:

    1) She's a talented swordswoman, and by turning her into a drider thing you're going to force her to have to re-learn how to fight with a blade (since so much of sword fighting is foot work).

    2) You lose the ability to use her, and whatever political contacts she has in the underdark, to soften the underdark up for eventual invasion (and we will need to invade and hold it eventually, since it will represent a hiding place and highway for insurgents when we start our world takeover bid). You're trading a long-term piece for a short term experiment.

    3) It's experimental, we could lose her entirely if we fuck it up.

    4) It's probably reversible. If she has allies they can restore her if they get wind of what happened.

    5) If anyone is expecting her out in the world, how are you going to explain her disappearance? It will seem suspicious as fuck and bring a lot of heat we don't need from unknown quarters.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:36 No.14949900
    No. Mind control is too easy.
    We'll make her agree to anything we ask the old-fashioned way.
    That is, in the way of the Soviet Union.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:37 No.14949913
    Of course. With sufficient time invested into torture and brainwashing, we could make her agree to anything we set in front of her.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:39 No.14949923
    Just pie and pact, instant bodyguard and arena champion, and we can move on to hunting that other dragon we've just heard about. For petty revenge, order her to obey the Witch.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:41 No.14949946
    I vote for torture.
    We vowed to do things to her that would go down in infamy. Mind controlling her into a pact is not that.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:42 No.14949948
    As far as swordsmanship goes, I assume she'll still be able to pull some fancy footwork with, y'know, eight legs and all. As for drow, there was also talk of making her a second pair of humanoid legs, for negotiations with her species.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:42 No.14949959
    But why bother? We were planning to pie and pact the winner from the beginning, all of her resistance amounts to nothing and we have no vested interest in her beyond her skills.

    Save the crazy torture-plots for someone worth the time and effort.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:43 No.14949962
    Pretty sure he's still waiting for us in the throne room. Probably for a while now.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:44 No.14949973
    That was before she DISMISSED us and called the witch our MISTRESS.
    Besides, it's more of an evil thing to do.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:45 No.14949979
    Look, why can't we just have her say that she modified her legs on purpose, and have her maintain a presence in the town?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:45 No.14949981
    Look I have no problem with using the drider thing on a nobody, but this particular drow is valuable, and has skills that are worth keeping intact.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:45 No.14949982

    >1) She's a talented swordswoman, and by turning her into a drider thing you're going to force her to have to re-learn how to fight with a blade (since so much of sword fighting is foot work).

    She can relearn that and her new abilities where our spidermen train

    >2) You lose the ability to use her, and whatever political contacts she has in the underdark, to soften the underdark up for eventual invasion (and we will need to invade and hold it eventually, since it will represent a hiding place and highway for insurgents when we start our world takeover bid). You're trading a long-term piece for a short term experiment.

    Surface drow. Plus we can just pump all the info we want out of her after, and find a better canidate for that when the time comes, lets just focus on the country we are in right now.

    And this isnt just short team, we can a new minion to control.

    Were is your sense of SCIENCE?

    >3) It's experimental, we could lose her entirely if we fuck it up.

    >4) It's probably reversible. If she has allies they can restore her if they get wind of what happened.

    Thats fine then, we learned alot and then we can just use her how you want, after we capture her friends

    >5) If anyone is expecting her out in the world, how are you going to explain her disappearance? It will seem suspicious as fuck and bring a lot of heat we don't need from unknown quarters.

    Shes an adventurer, them dissapearing with no trace is a common thing.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:47 No.14950001
    Perhaps we ought to go check up on him. Courteous host and whatnot. Leave the drow to Lils, but give her instructions that she is not to be killed.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:48 No.14950015
    I don't care whether we do the drider or not. But I say we torture the living piss out of her and brand her our slave. On the face. I said that last night and I still stand by it.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:51 No.14950047

    She's a drow, they're as famous for their paranoia as for their love of spiders and general evil perverted behavior. I'm just guessing here, but she's probably smart enough to have let someone know where she was going before she came to the tower. You know, after her very public success in the arena.

    She's a surface drow who still acts like she's in the matriarchy. We don't know why she came to the surface, she could have been sent specifically to display how much better drow are than surface dwellers. She could be exiled, which means she was important enough to not kill down there (which means extremely fucking important), she could be a run-away (less useful, but still worth keeping), she could be up here of her own free will specifically for hunting demons.

    In short, we don't know and your crazy scheme throws away whatever benefit we could wring out of her form.

    >Look, why can't we just have her say that she modified her legs on purpose, and have her maintain a presence in the town?

    Drow don't do mechnical body modification, and a perversion as great as this would be (turning into a mechano-drider instead of letting their goddess bestow it on the afflicted as a divine punishment) would be seen as pure blasphemy by drow and anyone familiar with drow.

    This is a giant red flag for no good reason.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:52 No.14950056
    >"About as evil as the taxman. Maybe"

    The taxman would just pie someone and then contract them

    Sure its kind of evil, but look at the witch, she is much happier because of it, its just too kind and nice.

    Do you want to just be a taxman? Or do you want to be an evil overlord?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:53 No.14950062
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:55 No.14950092
    I say we torture her to the point where we can record her broken sobs and play it in our throne room.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:56 No.14950096

    This isn't about the fucking drow's personal feelings, it's about being able to use her as a political animal in the Underdark at a later date. You give all of that up if you make her into a walking blasphemy.

    That's not to mention the added attention her new form would bring down on us. A merchant known for being able to kill a dragon, who uses mechanical spiders all the goddamn time, does major surgery to a high-profile arena winner. That alone would bring a lot of attention, never mind that she'd be a mechano-drider.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:57 No.14950112
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)19:59 No.14950132

    We're GONNA kill them, but it's easier if you set them up for failure from within. We use the drow champion we have here to manipulate the drow houses into ripping themselves apart, and once we think the houses are weakened enough, THEN we attack openly and present ourselves as a big target for all the drow to re-focus their attentions on. They're vicious and horrible to each other, but they'll cooperate if there is an invader that threatens them all. We want them to be weak before they start cooperating.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:00 No.14950141
    We don't actually know why she's up here, we should interrogate her and find out. If she's just a runaway, turn her into mecha-drider. If she's more important, keep her as she is.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:01 No.14950149
    Look, to be honest I'm fine with not making her a drider.
    But not torturing her for at least a few months is out of the question.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:01 No.14950150
    >turning into a mechano-drider instead of letting their goddess bestow it on the afflicted as a divine punishment would be seen as pure blasphemy by drow and anyone familiar with drow

    So its the most evil and insulting thing we can possible do to a drow...

    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:03 No.14950164
    Oh wait, Lolth looks a bit like a drider, doesn't she?

    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:03 No.14950173

    Can we do it AFTER we've gotten all the use out of her politically that we can? She needs to be intact if we're going to use her to make the Underdark our bitch.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:03 No.14950176
    Blasphemy to an EVIL society of EVIL doesn't really count. Besides, our spiders are sentient anyway, why would we attach a drow to one?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:04 No.14950184
    >Besides, our spiders are sentient anyway, why would we attach a drow to one?
    ...are you implying that we should give her legs that are smarter than she is, and just leave her strapped to the top and not in control as a form of torture?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:05 No.14950187
    For the love of god, just have us walk away and continue the torture offscreen. This argument is ridiculous at this point solely because of FEMALE WHAT DO.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:05 No.14950190
    We will get a lot more drows to turn into spiders. And, if we like, we can make her a spider later, so lets just bind her, without pie, just torture her untill she is so broke that she will say yes to everything to make the pain stop. We will do the spider-thing later, if we please.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:05 No.14950193

    Yes, Lloth makes driders as a punishment to drow that get too uppity or too powerful. Openly mocking that would probably get that goddess pissed at us too.

    Maybe we have defenses adequate against a goddess, maybe not. But either way it would be a big pain in the ass at this early juncture. Let's take over a couple of countries before we start mocking the gods, ok?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:05 No.14950194
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:07 No.14950210
    I dont know if you guys are just trolling, whiteknigting or derping.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:07 No.14950212
    >talking about taking over the Underdark when we have not even taken over the country we reside in yet


    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:08 No.14950222
    There is a fine, fine line.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:09 No.14950238
    All three. At once.
    >> dice+1d20 Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:09 No.14950240
    rolled 6 = 6

    Lets just roll a d20. The smaller one decides. We have 5 minutes to roll.

    Torture her, bind her without pie, and dont do the spider thing.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:11 No.14950254
    We should be looking to increase our evil rating as we increase our holdings. The higher our evil rating is, the more attention we will attract.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:11 No.14950259
    Where did Minion go? We require stalemate resolution.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:12 No.14950268

    He's probably writing.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:14 No.14950305
    rolled 7 = 7

    Use the operation of turning her into a mechadrider as her punishment, bind her with no pie after when she is begging for a sweet release form this torture.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/16/11(Mon)20:16 No.14950329
    Slapping her across the face, her shattered mouth shifts under the force of the blow. Spitting what blood got in your mouth on the ground, you angrily wipe your face and turn away from the Drow. Washing your face in a nearby bowl of water, you hear the Drow laugh and mock you as the witch lands more blows.

    "You really have NO idea who I am do you? Really? I'm sure your friend the lord would just love to see what you've got going on in this little dungeon. He'll probably help me kill you if I asked him to."

    Clenching your fist around a small piece of metal, you spin and stab the Drow's left ear into the table. She winces and laughs as you kick open the door, ordering the witch to keep torturing her until her eyes bleed with tears. Storming up and out of the dungeon, you take a moment to calm yourself, breathing in and out deeply. Shaking your head, you continue upwards, towards the throne room. A spider, not mechanical, skitters across the wall, down towards the Drow, only to find itself ripped apart by one of your larger metal spiders. The spider seeming to be examining the spider, you leave it be and turn the corner into the throne room. Sighing with frustration, you sit on your throne and act bothered. The Orc and the assassin bow as you enter, and you nod your head in their direction. The Orc appears to be wearing some kind of decorative armor. How quaint. Waving them towards you, you address the assassin and Orc in turn. The Orc speaks up as you finish, in some language you don't understand. Shaiara nudges him a bit, and he looks around, and continues in Common.

    "It's an honor to be in your service, my lord. Shaiara has told me much of you, including your slaying of the mighty dragon. I was not aware of this feat, and if I were, I would have welcomed you as a fellow warrior previously."

    Looking at Shaiara, she grins.

    "He's impressed with your skill, and wants to become a vassal in your service."
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:16 No.14950332
    rolled 20 = 20

    Interrogate her, then after we know why she's here, work out what we do to her.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:18 No.14950363
    rolled 13 = 13

    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:18 No.14950364
    Oh yeah. Orc samurai. I can work with this.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:19 No.14950377
    "I am glad to accept your service, orc."
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:20 No.14950390
    rolled 17 = 17

    Lets find out who sent that fucking spider, then use its skin to cloth one of our mecha-spiders, and send that skin-spider to spy on the bastard (or bitch).
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:22 No.14950412
    >I'm sure your friend the lord would just love to see what you've got going on in this little dungeon
    >He'll probably help me kill you if I asked him to

    But of course, Orc samurai are more important, right?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:22 No.14950421
    rolled 12 = 12

    Also, we should probe the Drow's mind for what she fears the most, then use it against her, ala 1984 Room 101.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:23 No.14950427
    rolled 57 = 57

    Just stick a pie into her and soulbind her her and be over with it!
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:23 No.14950429
    Right then, lets get our new friend set up.

    I am guessing he is staying at the local inn? we shall pay his fee untill we have completed a house for him.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:23 No.14950431
    As if he's actually our friend.
    When we're done with her, she won't remember her own name.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:23 No.14950438
    >"You really have NO idea who I am do you?"

    Ha ha, I fucking knew it, she's an ambassador or something.

    >"It's an honor to be in your service, my lord. Shaiara has told me much of you, including your slaying of the mighty dragon. I was not aware of this feat, and if I were, I would have welcomed you as a fellow warrior previously."

    "I didn't do it alone, and it was expensive in lives. Boasting of it in that light seems gauche."

    "I don't have formal holdings. I'm not even a noble yet. I'll be the first to say that the country could be run much better, but without a title it's just opinions and whatever influence I can buy. Can you live with a master who has a long way to go before he can live up to being the sort of lord that deserves your vassalship?"
    >> Taffer 05/16/11(Mon)20:25 No.14950465
    Accept his service. Set him up with a house near Shaiara's place. (Always good to have someone familiar in an unfamiliar surroundings.)
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:25 No.14950467
    >I was not aware of this feat, and if I were, I would have welcomed you as a fellow warrior previously.
    Play it off as nothing. Praise the actions of your guards and the adventurers who died, mention that your spellcraft would never have had time to succeed without their noble efforts, etc. And that that's why you're so glad to have someone like the orc around.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:25 No.14950470
    No. You're like the only guy repeatedly asking for that.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:26 No.14950485

    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:26 No.14950489

    I'm arguing for it as well. It's the best way to turn her into a political pawn.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:29 No.14950515
    rolled 20 = 20

    >A spider, not mechanical, skitters across the wall, down towards the Drow
    >not mechanical

    We need to find out who the hell sent it.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:29 No.14950521
    It's full fucking retarded, you mean.
    That's evil on the level of Dire Badger again.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:29 No.14950522
    Actually why didn't we do that? Make an orb for the drow and just read her thoughts and see what we can do to really screw with her mentally.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:29 No.14950525

    Probably the drow's back-up. She's not an idiot.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:30 No.14950533
    Two guys, then. My apologies.
    You're outvoted.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:30 No.14950539
    It was just a normal spider, they are freaking everywhere!

    Stop being so paranoid.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:31 No.14950545

    I think the drider thing is dumb. Can't we just read her mind with the hair orb and find out who she really is first?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:31 No.14950549
    Drow spy detected
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:32 No.14950563
    rolled 8 = 8

    The discussion was about turn her into a drier(spider thing) or not, not about binding her, that is not a problem. With or without pie, we will bind her. I preffer without pie, its more evil, and she deserves it.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:32 No.14950564
    >Stop being so paranoid.
    Still worth exchanging a few words of concern with our mechanical guard-spiders, though, I think. See if there's been a sudden wave of spiders moving towards our dungeon...
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:33 No.14950573
    rolled 7 = 7

    She's a Drow. Around them, you need to be more paranoid than in CoC.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:33 No.14950582
    rolled 14 = 14

    We are never enough paranoid. Nobody is.
    >> Heer Vaaghaar 05/16/11(Mon)20:36 No.14950611
    Well, we have an orc samurai, our favorite assassin, or witch, a dungeon filled with miscellaneous prisoners, and a female drow spellsword, which we hate.
    Well, obviously, once our orc is in our service, and out of sight, violate the drow, initiate plan pie, and use a prisoner for the soul binding contract.
    Because no matter how much we hate someone, to not abuse them to their fullest is a waste, if anything, we could force her to participate next year, and loose to the orc.
    Oh, and we should teach our spiders to construct spiders, so we can yo dawg.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:37 No.14950626
    rolled 7 = 7

    I think this guy had a good idea. We should disguise one of our spiders as biological, or get a zombie spider, and send it to counterspy.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:38 No.14950633
    We can make her agree to it without pie.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:39 No.14950641
    rolled 18 = 18

    Don't use pie. Make her do it voluntarily.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:42 No.14950678
    Why would we risk this? With the pie, we can make her agree to absolutely anything with virtually no risk of her somehow being capable enough to make something go wrong. We can also do it immediately, get accurate information on any dangers to us she knows about and who she really is, and then continue torturing her afterward for fun without fear that she'll somehow escape or turn on us.

    Not using the pie might be vaguely more satisfying, but it's also simply not as effective, fast, or reliable.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:42 No.14950682
    but pie is delicious, so your argument is refuted
    >> Heer Vaaghaar 05/16/11(Mon)20:45 No.14950720
    Well, we could just make another mind orb, and fish in her thoughts for a while, you know, since even your most loyal subjects are bound to lie once at some point.
    Oh, and shave her completely, since she has long hair. People with long hair hate it when people do stuff with it.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:45 No.14950722
    We are evil. We will make her suffer. Pie's too easy, too painless for her.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:45 No.14950731
    So the argument on the drow boils down to if we want to be smart and a little evil, or very evil and a little silly.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:46 No.14950740
    rolled 69 = 69

    If you are referrong to this thread, then no. That was my first post in this thread.
    And WHO THE FUCK CARES if it is not very evil? Do we have some fucking quota to fullfill? Do we need to pay debts in to demons in the form of screams and pain?
    Fuck, why dont we go around torturing little children just for evil sake then?

    Doing the same thing we did with the witch saves us so fucking much trouble I am dumbstruck why people would suggest "breaking" her for months when we can achieve the same in 5 minutes. This is really dwelving into Evil Stupid realm. Up till now we have been pragmatic in our approaches but Nooo, this is a drow, a female drow. SHE deserves special attention, doesnt she?
    Special enougj that we need to halt the quest for 6 hours (previous thread included).
    Honestly, I dont care. I couldnt be happier if we executed her here and now. The Pie is the most hassle-free approach and will get us EVERYTHING we want from her.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:46 No.14950745
    >teaching our spiders to self replicate

    Because that is a great idea and in no way can back fire on us.

    >inb4 spider skynet ((spiderweb) hur hur pun)
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:48 No.14950759

    I am starting to think it's a sockpuppeteer out to derail the game with this drider nonsense
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:48 No.14950760
    Referring to the lead up to this situation, stupid evil seems to be how we roll.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/16/11(Mon)20:50 No.14950788
    The Orc bows his head at your words. Explaining your lack of proper lordship, he seems to change his stance. The assassin stares at him, seemingly amused.

    "You humility is humbling, my lord. As are your accomplishments. To go from having nothing, to having everything, in only three fourths of a year is... more than any other person can say for themselves. I know how far you will rise, my lord, and to refuse to join you now would be the greatest mistake of my life."

    Sighing, you accept his compliments, still attempting to 'praise' those who fell to the dragon. Standing from your throne, you step towards him, and he falls to his knee. Accepting his offer of servitude, you pull a Magewater sword from the wall with a wave of your hand, and putting it to each of his shoulders in the normal Ferdnia fashion, hear his vows and accept them. Speaking in his native language once more, he continues, as you place the sword before him. Seating yourself back in your throne, you watch him grasp the sword with his left hand, and rise, finishing his vows in Common.

    "-and to serve you, forevermore."

    Standing proudly, he holds the sword with newfound vigor, and slowly moves his fingers across its blade. Looking up, he snaps to attention, as you inform him of his new holdings. The house to the left of Shaiara's, which you own, is now his. Discussing his other rights as your vassal, he bows as you dismiss him, leaving without a word. Shaiara winks at you and follows him out.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/16/11(Mon)20:51 No.14950799
    Rubbing your temple, you leave your seat in the hall and turn to the laboratory. Hearing strange noises from within, you enter slowly to a bizarre scene. Your mechanical spiders, clicking in their own language, are speaking with a tied down biological spider, slowly cutting into its abdomen as it screeches at them. The torturing spider, distracted by your sudden entrance, accidentally stabs all the way through the spider, cutting downward and slicing it in half. Backing in front of the now dead spider, as if to hide it, the spiders in the room pull a cage of other spiders into the corner.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:52 No.14950814
    Using a mind-control device on her and enslaving her permanently does not stop us from making her suffer! If anything, it makes us MORE able to inflict suffering upon her, forever. It's not like her being bound into our service somehow makes us unable to torture her indefinitely. In fact, if anything it opens up whole new realms of possible forms of torture and new extremes that we can take existing ones to.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:53 No.14950823

    "I like initiative, but I'd also like to know what you're doing. What /are/ you doing? Vivisections?"
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:53 No.14950828
    Only because we CHOSE TO.

    We can become Pragmatic Evil easily. People just don't want to.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:55 No.14950856
    >Your mechanical spiders, clicking in their own language, are speaking with a tied down biological spider, slowly cutting into its abdomen as it screeches at them. ... Backing in front of the now dead spider, as if to hide it, the spiders in the room pull a cage of other spiders into the corner.
    That's fucking adorable. Let's get some answers and make it clear that we approve of their initiative.

    "Oh, don't let me interrupt you. Have those been coming after the drow, or are you rounding them up on principle?"
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:55 No.14950863

    The arena wasn't even that stupid. It was a great spectacle and brought Blackmoore closer to us. He's the sort of debauched noble we'll be able to use, he's usually preoccupied with bloodlust and sex.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:55 No.14950866
    We can be pragmatic, and give her the pie, or we can be EVIL. I choose evil.
    >> Taffer 05/16/11(Mon)20:58 No.14950892
    I love this.

    Its got that "Daddy's interested in what the kids are doing" vibe.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:58 No.14950900
    >biological spider, slowly cutting into its abdomen as it screeches at them
    >biological spider

    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)20:58 No.14950903
    why cant we be both? i hereby propose our alignment is pragmatic evil
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:00 No.14950916
    No. Look at the witch. Does she seem unhappy to be our slave? No.
    Torture the bitch until she breaks.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:00 No.14950926
    This is not an "or" situation. We're fucking evil either way, and can be flagrantly so in how we treat her whether we give her the pie or not.

    I mean, personally I was thinking that after we bound her we'd whore her our to the noble that she was threatening us with and force her to pretend to have an incredibly strong submissive streak. That seems like it's far more knife-twistingly evil than mere torture for fun, given that it spits upon her nature and forces her to do something she desperately doesn't want against her will.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:00 No.14950927
    We've been pragmatic so far, and I don't disagree with pragmatism. But sometimes, you just gotta kick back, relax, and torture some bitchy Drow into submission.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:01 No.14950932
    Give them our consent, and inquire if they've seen them near the dungeons.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:02 No.14950940
    And who says we can't do that AFTER we torture her into agreeing?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:02 No.14950944
    we could always feed her the pie, and then torture her anyway! everybody wins!
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:02 No.14950950
    Can't you just put it to a vote like a civilized quest thread?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:04 No.14950967
    One way or another, we need to make an orb for her.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:05 No.14950976
    Oh, but of course. Shave her and orb her, find out what she fears.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:05 No.14950978


    Also, for the Drow:

    Soul binding - as suggested earlier, we grab some other prisoner of no importance and soul-bind her ass, with the use of pie administered in a most painful fashion.

    Although this spider thing gives me an idea:

    Let's show our multi-legged children how it's done, no? Using the Drow. We go in there, all surgical-like, and proceed to do some rather faux scientific procedures on her. You know, testing our ability to regenerate limbs, reattach body parts (both using magic, of course), and our ability to implant/replace bones with superior mechanical/metal ones.

    All while we ignore her screams of forgiveness as we narrate our procedure to Lliara for notekeeping. Dictation of our actions, if you will.

    And of course, we need to document the effects of Magewater and the dragon blood mixture on Drow flesh.

    Later, once we mind-probe her (because we will), we can, under our soul-binding orders, set her up so that she will be publicly humiliated and labeled a criminal (thus justifying any later treatment of her). Hell, we can even allow our Orc to catch (beat) her.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:06 No.14950997
    We're not wasting perfectly good apple pie on her.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:07 No.14951006
    >most painful fashion
    Through her nose.

    Also, I agree with everything in this post.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:07 No.14951009

    Oh right. First, we should start with breaking fingers and toes, then regenerating/fixing them, then breaking and fixing again. We can chop off the very extremities of her ears for the purpose of reattaching them. As we get better we can hack into her arms and legs and whatnot. Maybe even poke around in her abdomen.

    In any case, we need to create an orb for her, and determine who she is, so we can besmirch her name in a most satisfying manner.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:08 No.14951021

    Yes we are, because most of us aren't trying to derail the game.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:09 No.14951040
    Derail it how? By actually being evil instead of "sort of a dick I guess"?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:10 No.14951044
    i like this idea
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:11 No.14951058
    fine, we give her a lemon pie, problem solved
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:13 No.14951072

    Oh yeah. Please tell me that we somehow soul-bound the Orc when he said that.

    Or by swearing on the Magewater sword, he did something that makes him our perma-servant.

    Because GODDAMN we need to use that in some manner so we don't need to act all good whenever he's around all the time.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:16 No.14951100

    He's bound by his honor to us now. He was stupid enough and honorable enough to stick with a lord who openly abused him and Shaiara, he will keep his oath to us. Plus, he knows Shaiara, she's his friend. Between his honor and his friend I do not see him defecting any time soon.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:18 No.14951122
    rolled 65 = 65

    If by lex up you mean the tournament, which we had set up as a way to deal with the pesky adventurer problem. The plan which worked so excellently and was filled through and through with evil but somehow stayed legimated in the eyes of people... Then I must say that it was the most pragmatic evil I have seen and left me grinning like a maniac.
    No, we went full retard as soon as a drow, a Female, entered the scene. And believe me, I know how tg goes fullretard as soon as females are involved.

    Soon we are going to start giving speeches to heroes, outlining our plans and then sending them off to slow-working death-room.

    I just want to stay smart evil.
    By taking the quick and easy way, we get all information, all reliable immediately. We dont have to work to break her for weeks or months, when her information could be ouydated.
    Not to speak that we risk her escaping.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:21 No.14951152
    If a man spoke to us like that, we would do the same.
    It's about revenge, not pragmatism.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:27 No.14951229
         File1305595662.jpg-(82 KB, 750x600, full_retard.jpg)
    82 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:30 No.14951269
    Nice argument you got there, fuckwit.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:31 No.14951282
    What argument? I felt that that picture was needed.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:35 No.14951325
    >there's no real reason not to torture her other than impatience
    >lol ur a retard
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:36 No.14951342
    >No, we went full retard as soon as a drow, a Female, entered the scene. And believe me, I know how tg goes fullretard as soon as females are involved.

    Maybe you should actually read posts.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:37 No.14951357
    But that's wrong. How exactly does her being female factor into her insulting an evil overlord to his face in front of others?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:38 No.14951374

    While I do think that our initial handling of the Drow wasn't that great (I prefer to act when popular opinion would be supporting us), I do believe there is some merit in torturing the Drow.

    Mainly in coupling it with magical/science research (is it MAGIC! or SCIENCE! or MAGIENCE! ?), along with fostering our own personal torturing abilities.

    As well as experiencing first hand the psychological limits of a Drow.

    Speaking of elves, can we go get that male elf over here? Maybe let him watch just to scare the shit out of his pansy ass?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:41 No.14951407
    I don't know, I don't care. My point is that the use of the phrase "full retard" justifies >>14951229
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:43 No.14951428
    It was not asked for nor needed.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:44 No.14951434
    Neither were you.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:44 No.14951435

    Seconding these.

    Seriously, we really need to sit down and evaluate the limits of our spiders' intelligence eventually.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:47 No.14951480
    It's a stupid picture. Deal.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/16/11(Mon)21:49 No.14951507
    Chuckling, you step into the room and carefully shut the door. Smiling at your spiders, you ask them what their working on, like any caring parent would. The spiders try to hide their work, but you reassure them that you aren't mad. In fact, you're proud of them for taking the initiative. The apparent leader of the little gang speaks up, squeaking and chatting with its odd form of speech. Listening intently, you pat the spider on the head and have a look at the victim. It shows promise, actually, and could with time become far more potent an interrogation process. Plucking the dead spider from the board, you place it in a preservative jar and compliment the spiders on their good work. Asking what they know, they express their feelings that these spiders have been sent for the Drow, and from what they have managed to squeeze out of them, the intruders are slightly intelligent. Nodding, you smile and tell the spiders to abandon their current victims. You are going to teach them how to do it right.

    Leaving the room, flanked by several dozen spiders, you once again drop further and further into your tower, down into the dungeon. Your spiders crawling over walls and chairs, they are careful to avoid the prison cells, following you with curiosity. As the Drow's screams become audible, you turn the corner and enter her room. The witch winks at you as she continues to torture the Drow, and at your word, ceases her efforts. Ordering your spiders up the wall, they obey, and their eyes shift to watch you work. Preparing slowly, you make sure to bind the Drow's mouth to prevent unwanted projectile spit, and begin. Demonstrating to the spiders the many ways to snap fingers and toes, you heal them repeatedly as the witch helps the spiders to take notes. Breaking and re-healing them over and over, you soon move on to her arms and legs. Snapping joints, resetting the pieces, and doing it again, you spiders seem to watch with intense interest.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/16/11(Mon)21:50 No.14951523
    Finally beginning to cut into her body, you sever fingers, and using your powers, bind them back on. Over and over again, so as the allow the spiders to understand completely. Taking the severed finger, you show it to the class, passing it around like some kind of souvenir. The spiders Ooo and Aaa at the finger, and hand it back to you for reattachment. Moving on to burns and other such things, you use a variety of instruments to demonstrate over the next two hours.

    Smiling as you finish the waterboarding, you address your spiders and quiz them on what they have learned. The spiders clamor to be the first to answer the questions, and with yourself satisfied with their responses, you dismiss the class for the moment, and leave the witch to the half-asleep Drow.

    An extraordinary lesson, sire. You are an excellent tutor.

    Returning to your library with your spiders, you take a bit of the Drow's hair from your pocket. With the help of the spiders, you craft an orb for the Drow, and as it cools, watch them get to work on their captives. Seeming to have taken your lessons to heart, they carefully and slowly inflict the most excruciating tortures on the spiders, drowning them while burning them and other such healthy evil activities. Leaving the spiders with your new orb in hand, you little to them speak to each other as a father, feeling pride for your tiny evil children.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/16/11(Mon)21:51 No.14951530
    Activating the orb with a thought, you sift through the Drow's mind like one might sift through sand. Pulling thoughts like seashells from her brain, you examine them closely. The Drow, it soon becomes apparent, is not who she seems. Indeed, it becomes clear that she accompanied Blackmoor to the city in a political move, being granted permission by her mother to venture forth and fight in the arena.

    Her mother, the leader of a Drow clan, and Ferdnia's one and only ally in the Underdark.

    Oh dear.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:52 No.14951549
    Get more in-depth. They were cutting, no? Show them more useful ways of doing so.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:54 No.14951579
    I love them so much, they are like tiny sadistic tachikomas.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:54 No.14951584
    Not a single fuck was given that day. When we torture her into agreeing to the Pact, it's not like she'll be able to tell anyone.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:54 No.14951586
    >Her mother, the leader of a Drow clan, and Ferdnia's one and only ally in the Underdark.

    Great. Good work, guys. Good work.

    Blackmoor's probably looking for her right now.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:54 No.14951587
    Our stupid evil is magnificent, use the Pie+Bind, heal her up and order her to ignore the events of the night, she spends the night, leaves the next morning a sleeper agent.

    Or we can full stupid evil and do something else.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:55 No.14951598

    I agree with this. Mind-control her like we did the witch, heal her up, and use her as a sleeper agent.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:55 No.14951601
    So... bind her to our will, and we get the potential heir of a drow clan as our bitch? Why is this "oh dear"? No one knows what we've done to her yet!
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:58 No.14951629
    >ignore the events of the night
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)21:59 No.14951634
    Is she broken yet?
    Make her agree to a Pact if so.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:00 No.14951642
    well given the turn of the events we better just pie and bind.

    Such a shame, but there will be others we can break the traditional way.

    (also once we bind her and make the right conncections we can then import as many drow as we want for machadriders!)
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:00 No.14951644

    Seconded, seconded, seconded.

    We need to soul bind her ass, in the form of a devil's contract. Of course we'll pie her just in case, so as to keep up the illusion that she's in control. Or something.

    Either way, it might be necessary to initiate a complete memory wipe of the Drow. That, or a soul-binding with orders to never recount what has happened here today.

    And if anyone asks about the bruises, we can simply set it up so that Blackmoor walks in on us (Lliara included) engaging in some S&M play with the Drow.

    Obviously something she'd want to keep secret, since female Drow are supposed to be the dominant ones, right?

    In any case, SLEEPER AGENT, HO!
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:02 No.14951663
    Why do people want her to forget what we did?
    "Gee, some bitch called me a servant in front of everyone, but she's important so she gets to leave completely untouched."
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:04 No.14951688
    This. We can save mechano-driders for the takeover of the Underdark. As for now, bind that bitch. But give her the pie in a horrible, horrible way. We /are/ evil, after all.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:06 No.14951714
    Here's the most important part: does she fear us yet? If so, bind her.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:07 No.14951719
    so she doesnt have her memory read (we can easily do it, whats stopping others from it as well?) and our whole plot is exposed.

    I was the biggest proponent of experimenting on her, breaking her, and turning her into a mechadrider.

    But now that the situation is clear we need to play smart and subtle, and cover our tracks.

    We can always do stuff for the evuls later.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:08 No.14951737

    Good point. She's much more useful as a double-agent working with Lord Blackmoor. We can get other drow and other adventurers to experiment with later.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:09 No.14951749
    Just have her tell her mother that she's decided to stay here a while. It burns my ass to let her get away with that.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:10 No.14951769
    That's not my point. I don't give a fuck what we do to the other drow. I give a fuck what we do to her. The drow in general didn't do what she did.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:11 No.14951778

    It frustrates me a bit too, but we're just revising our plans for greater gain in the future. Inflexibility in the face of new developments is not a trait that will help us on our path towards greatness.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:11 No.14951783

    We are being spied on, and the longer we drag this out the greater the risk the drow will send more than spiders after their missing daughter. Satisfying your bizarre emotional needs will not do us any good in the short or long run. In fact it'll risk making things way worse.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:13 No.14951806
    As long as we can punish her with interest in future, I'm fine with that. I am not in any way fine with her just getting away with it with no consequences whatsoever.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:15 No.14951838

    And no one's saying we CAN'T do that. We will, ooooooh boy, believe me, we will.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:18 No.14951858
    Then I am sated for now.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:18 No.14951866
    rolled 97 = 97

    ambassador? perfect. pie the bitch, if the pie doesnt work, fuck with her mind using the orb, and then contract the whore.

    we can get our sweet revenge later, maybe some creative rope tying.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:18 No.14951870
    Allrighty then, have we come to the conclusion that we're going to bind her, make her forget, and use as a sleeper agent/pointy-eared stress ball?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:20 No.14951896

    Sounds good to me. Any other objections, gentlemen?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:20 No.14951901
    Yep. After we take down the drow race, then we can do horrid things to her.
    Just call her one day, say "I haven't forgotten your little... transgression, you know." Then do so.
    Everybody wins.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:21 No.14951904
    rolled 8 = 8

    forget? no. we're gonna make this bitch forge our glorious drider army with all her little underground friends.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:22 No.14951923
    no to the drider thing, its just too retarded, yes to the glorious army thing
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:22 No.14951931
    rolled 10 = 10

    Fuck this, we need her to forget!

    My Paranoid-Sense is tingling.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:23 No.14951938
    We are not just having an army of fucking drow.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:23 No.14951940

    We can do that AFTER we've manipulated her as a sleeper agent to take over the Underdark.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:23 No.14951947
    rolled 29 = 29

    what? drows are immune to shadow contracts? whats the chances of that!?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:25 No.14951968
         File1305599127.jpg-(14 KB, 300x225, simon-hecubus.jpg)
    14 KB
    Whenever I glance over the opening post's pictures, all I can picture is...
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:26 No.14951988
    Actually, by the time we launch the Underdark Uprising, we should turn her into Mecha-Drider. For fun, and stuff.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:27 No.14951997
    >178 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.
    Holy crap.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:28 No.14952010
    Yeah, you would think there would be more images than that. Huh.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:28 No.14952013
    After the torture. Mere body horror and vivisection is not enough.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:29 No.14952028
    rolled 10 = 10

    I was talking about mind-readers.

    In fact, in being very paranoid right now about mind-readers. We are in danger! We need to train or give to anyone who nows anything related to our evilness or our evil plans a way to avoid being mind readed. Meaby some partial protection, and, if they get captured, a way to erase all their memories, like some venon which we can hide in their mouth(they will know it, of course).

    We can later figure out a way to recover their memories, but that aint important.

    Oh, and make it somehow that we can still read their mind. And fucking read the unbounded but loyal minions everytime we can, and taunt them to thinks things that we want, so we can figure out any kind of doubt or betrayal thought.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:32 No.14952055
    We need to soul bind her and do a bit of memory re-writing.

    I think we should go with what was stated here >>14951644 and fashion it so her reluctance to recount why she took so long to return could be explained by her sexual deviancy (according to Drow society, I think).

    Plus re-writing her to be a masochist sounds kind of fun. Mom would probably look into her mind, only to find that her little girl prefers to be spanked.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/16/11(Mon)22:33 No.14952063
    As it dawns on you exactly how bad the situation may become, you take off running for the kitchen. Shoving past the tower spiders within, you pull open the icebox and remove one of the special apple pies you have stored. Running down into the dungeon, pie in hand, you shout for the tower spiders to get out of your way as they stand in the doorway. Squeezing past them, you enter the cell, and pull your witch off the Drow. Grabbing a needle from the nearby table, you inject apple pie into the Drow's nose, and place the rest on a stool. The Drow laughs and spits in your face once more.

    "So, figured it out did you?"

    Ordering the Drow to shut the fuck up, you call for another prisoner. The tower spiders obey, and drag the one your electrocuted earlier into the room. The man screams at the sight of the Drow, and she grins at you. Punching her in the gut, you check in your bag for the contract you prepared as the witch forces the pie into the other prisoner's mouth. Ordering the man to sit on the ground, you quickly recite the contract's incantation from memory, and it begins to pulse with energy. The room as always goes dark, the fire seeming to freeze in mid air, turning grey and black. A shadow, wearing a blood red tie on its black suit, peels itself off the wall, and shakes your hand happily.
    Handing the Shadow the contract, he unrolls it and examines it closely.
    Tapping the prisoner with the side of your foot, the Shadow nods.
    You point to the Drow.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/16/11(Mon)22:34 No.14952070
    As you move to ask the Shadow who it's bringing in, the room seems to brighten for a moment. The Shadow, reaching through the wall, looks to be feeling around for something, and with a tug, pulls another Drow through. The Drow seems to become furious at this, yelling at the Shadow and waving her exquisitely dressed arms around.
    "How dare you! Why have you brought me here, Shadow? Go back to your realm, you have no pull in the Underdark."
    The Shadow laughs and pats her on the back, turning to Dricree.
    The new Drow rushes forward to the table, and examining Dricree closely, shouts out at you.
    "You there, Man! Who has done to do my daughter, I command you to speak!"
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:35 No.14952078
    rolled 4 = 4

    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:36 No.14952087
         File1305599772.png-(210 KB, 480x502, 1299179742494.png)
    210 KB
    Oh dear.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:36 No.14952094

    We've got the element of surprise here, we need to shock this bitch and get her pied and under contract. Then we get her daughter. Then we take the whole damn Underdark.

    And we need to amend the contract so that all contract negotiations are done remotely. Jesus Christ, what a security hole.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:37 No.14952108

    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:38 No.14952125
    rolled 13 = 13

    I knew the contracts will backfire us, but no so quickly.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:38 No.14952131
         File1305599936.jpg-(55 KB, 343x576, penfang.jpg)
    55 KB
    Single drow, likely not much of a threat. Signal mechanical spiders to circle her, but don't attack. Calmly sigh, pinch the bridge of our nose in exhasperation, and say "...first calm down. second look around. third (and look at the shadow) what happens now?"
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:40 No.14952153

    Well SHIT.

    Hey, I got an idea. Let's offer the mother some pie. If she refuses, then we inject it into her.

    Maybe it should be followed by a paralysis spell.

    Contract them BOTH.

    And in that case, we grab another prisoner.

    We can also blame that one elf dude from earlier. Just say that we found her beaten half to death by a crazed male elf and his lackeys, who were more than likely enchanted, highly trained operatives from the opposing side. It was only by good fortune that we came across her, and were able to reconstruct her body to this degree. Sadly, the procedure to do so required that she be awake the whole time, so it is highly likely that she is somewhat delirious from the whole ordeal.

    Then we nonchalantly offer her some of the pie at hand (it's good for you, hence the reason why we fed some to her daughter).

    And if she asks who that other dude is, we say he's one of the lackeys that we managed to capture and control. Lobotomized, sadly.

    Anyone feel like turning this into a speech?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:40 No.14952155
    >Single Drow Matriarch
    >Has the power to Bind people herself
    >Not much of a threat
    You see, people? This is why shit like this happens!
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:40 No.14952162
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:41 No.14952169
    Do not hesitate. Blast the fuck out of this woman. Incapacitate her utterly.

    When she's incapacitated, tell the shadow that you have a new subject for your contract. Actually, you're just going to write two contracts, if that's not a problem.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:41 No.14952177
    Ah, the hilarious consequences of our actions, were but we less stupid evil perhaps such exigencies would not have come to pass.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:42 No.14952189
    Sorry then. Didn't remember the whole
    part of it.
    This shi't serious now.
    PIE AND BIND, AND CALL THE ORC. First get shit under control! Don't stand around discusin'
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:42 No.14952191
    rolled 10 = 10

    electrocute her. "I have, you stupid whore, now shut your mouth. Witch, fetch another pie, and my pets, tie her up."
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:43 No.14952214

    Why are we calling the orc? We can deal with this with delicious pie.

    And one pie is several servings, remember the witch and the old mayor?

    We have our magic, we have our pie, we have our helpers here, and we have a confused enemy. We can do this right now.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:44 No.14952221
         File1305600283.jpg-(1.4 MB, 2893x1875, facepalm.jpg)
    1.4 MB
    God dammit /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:45 No.14952227
    rolled 10 = 10

    Lie to her, if we can. Tell her that we were, as she can see, binding her daughter, because she was strong enough to be our servant, and you tortured her as she deserved it because of rudeness. We will now need to seek another way to work, seeing that she is interested too in conquer the surface, and that she is aware of our intentions, it will be silly to fight each other when we have a common goal.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:45 No.14952233
    Never hurts to have a safety in place doesn't it?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:45 No.14952235

    Not quite sure that would work at the moment. And if I'm not mistaken, isn't a Drow matriarch something to be wary of?

    Plus, aren't they allies of the one nation that's currently not trying to kill us?

    In any case, we need to act quickly, and strike when her guard is down. Or something. Fuck, I don't know, don't we know of some high level charm spells?

    We could just tell her that this was some sort of weird fetish game that the girl kept insisting we play...
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:48 No.14952282
         File1305600530.png-(958 KB, 2132x2263, 1294217875657.png)
    958 KB
    Because saying the kind of stuff that pisses off a Drow Matriarch BEFORE we piepact'er is totally a smart and sensible thing to do
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:51 No.14952311
    rolled 20 = 20

    First, we have being using magic for no reason today, we could be weaker than her. Second, she can be inmune to our pie, due to mind-control inmunity, due to higher strenght, due to already ate one(as we did). Meaby not so clever to act so straight for now. Meaby we can measure his power for a bit(with a talk, or something), and then we will act, trying to destroy her, trying to be her allie in the surface. Also, try to notice if our patners are moving, if we can act freely with the shadow here, and ask the shadow what kind of thinks we can do in that status, or tell us, op, if we already know it.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:52 No.14952328
    That's utterly ridiculous.
    Immune to mind control my ass.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:55 No.14952350
    rolled 15 = 15

    Well, she can be pissed off about a logical and clever move(like binding an strong minion to serves us), one she will actually consider in our situation. Also, a logical move that she will want from an allie(to an enemy, of course). But this should be said after we find out if we can destroy her. If we can bind her, we do, if not, we destroy her, if not, we try to convince her and make her our allie. And anyother thing we say will be a clear lie, and she will be more pissed off.

    Sometimes the truth is a very powerfull weapon.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:56 No.14952360

    Dude, I have NO idea what you're saying here.

    I get the part that we might be weaker than her, so a direct confrontation is something we should avoid (regardless, anyway).

    We don't know if she's immune to the pie; thus we casually offer her some to calm her down a bit. Either way, we need to diffuse the situation to a point where we have control, or are in a better position.

    And the Shadow is probably not on our side, but neither is he explicitly against us.

    Any bright ideas, aside from "pie her right now"?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:57 No.14952375
    Or at least stronger than us. The idea of our magical pie being always effective is a more ridicule one.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:59 No.14952394
    I meant the weaker part, and the pie-inmune part. We can offer her a pie, but it will be a bit suspicious "Oh, you found me trying to bind your daugther. What about a piece of pie? Just to chill a bit"
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:59 No.14952401
    chill out*
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:03 No.14952442

    In all honestly, it is pretty fucking weak.

    Hell, we can throw it in her face in anger. Which would probably get a lighting bolt in our face immediately if she's immune.

    If she's not, then great; we handle this the same way we handled the witch. If not, then magic battle up in this shit.

    Or a political one of lying, deceit, and maybe some asskissing.

    What would Drow society dictate to be a proper response in this situation anyway?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:06 No.14952469
    rolled 86 = 86

    Call all your spiders and spidermen from the tower.
    Ready your powers for an epic battle
    but first try to stuff her with pie
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:16 No.14952586
    >but first try to stuff her with pie
    and other things too... if you catch my drift.
    I mean we might die here, might as well go out hittin on the ladies. Figuratively and Literally!
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:26 No.14952706

    Apply pie to face.

    I can't see apple pie being very popular in the Underdark.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:28 No.14952737
    Instead of PIE OF CONTROL-ing everyone we meet, why not just knife her while she's freaking out?

    Pretend that the torturer is out at the moment, and that you're next and hoping for an escape. When she turns to free her daughter, knife between the 3rd and 4th ribs.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/16/11(Mon)23:28 No.14952739
    You respond instantly, picking up the pie from the stool. Passing your arm over it quickly, you turn and throw it at the Drow. The pie explodes in mid air, the pieces evaporating into nothing.


    Calling forth your magic as fast as you can, you fire of a bolt of energy just as one exits the Drow's hands. Her spell countered, she moves to attack again, but you are faster on the draw than she. Yelling for your spiders to grab the Drow, they sit perfectly still, unmoving, as your lighting bolt throws the matriarch out the door and into the hall. The witch runs forward to assist you, and throws what magic she has at the Drow, pounding her into the far wall with dozens of spheres of force. The matriarch recovers quickly, throwing her own magic at you, which you manage to deflect with a well timed ice beam. The spell slams into the wall nearby, knocking the door of its hinges, but as it falls it slows, eventually stopping in mid air. Your witch running forth, you and she continue attacking the Drow, even as she moves upwards, out of your dungeon. Passing cells and prisoners frozen in time, you and the witch seem to be making progress in fighting the Drow, until the witch reacts too slowly. A bolt of lightning hits her square in the chest, knocking her backwards and onto the floor. She breathes raggedly, not getting up, as you angrily continue to fight the matriarch. Throwing everything you've got into it, you knock rock from the walls, and block the Drow's attacks on your person over and over.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/16/11(Mon)23:29 No.14952748
    You and the Drow climb the stairs together, locked in deadly combat. With the fires that illuminate the darkness still grey and cold, you and she aim your attacks based merely on the flashes of each other's magic. And slowly, you begin to feel the invocational energy leave you. But the Drow seems to be as invigorated as ever. She easily blocks your attacks, as you and she reach your throne room. Diving behind your throne to dodge a fireball, you feel its heat as the fire wraps around the throne, yourself only barely protected. Jumping out of cover, you and the Drow trade fire, and ice as well. Blasting open the window behind the Drow, you use the throne room's pillars for cover, moving from one to the other. And pushing the Drow back. Feeling yourself tire, you force what remaining invocations you have into one final push. The magical energy warping space and time around you, you feel the stone of the room ripple as you use the last of your energy. The Drow, though managing to block the energy, is sent out the window, to her apparent doom.

    Or so you think, if only for a moment. Hearing cruel and sadistic laughter coming from outside, you watch from your knees as the matriarch rises from outside the tower. Floating through the shattered window, she raises her hand, and you feel an icy hand grasp your neck, pulling you into the air. Approaching, she pulls a small knife from her dress, and spins it in her hand.

    "I'm going to take my time with... with..."
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:30 No.14952760

    You know, I think I kind of like her. Feisty- We should totally seduce her. Assuming we survive this, of course.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/16/11(Mon)23:31 No.14952780
    You cough, laughing through the strangulation, as you pull the needle from her arm. Struggling to breath, you gasp for air as you order her to drop you. Falling to the ground, you tell her to stand still, while you try to catch your breath. Wheezing, your throat numb with cold, you slowly begin to breath normally again. Pulling yourself off the ground with the pillar to your left, you look over to the Drow. She glares at you, and through gritted teeth, hatefully seethes at you.

    "LET. ME. GO."

    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:33 No.14952798

    Wait. We're in the throne room, right?

    Right where the Orc, the assassin, our spider bots, and our spidermen typically hang out, right?

    Grin maniacally, followed by a bit of laughter. Make enough noise to alert the guards.

    Or politely ask her to bow down. Hopefully, she had a taste of a bit of our pie.

    In any case, STALL FOR TIME.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:34 No.14952809

    "Tell me the terms you bound your daughter under, and if you are bound to anyone yourself, and finally what contingencies you have in place for suddenly disappearing."
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:34 No.14952810
    Ok. That was WAY too fucking close.

    We have got to plan for this kind of shit. Seriously. Imagine if we had missed when we tried to jam the needle in her arm! We'd be -fucked-.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:34 No.14952813
    Excellent. Bind her. Bind her now.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:36 No.14952831
    Too goddamn close.

    Anyways, bring her back to the dungeon. The witch is probably bleeding to death or something.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:37 No.14952855
    First two questions for now. Then we Bind her if we can, followed by Binding her daughter after we force her to consent.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:38 No.14952860
    Order her to take no hostile action of any kind towards anyone. And to tell you if she is bound by contract to anyone, and the exact terms of the contract her daughter is under.

    If she's not under contract, contract her with the she-is-now-our-total-bitch contract. If she is under contract, find the details- we'll need to either breaker it (without dueling anyone again) or kill her to cover our tracks here.

    Either way, subsequently contract her daughter.

    Heal the witch as soon as we get enough energy back, and find out why our spiders weren't helping us out.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:38 No.14952861
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:38 No.14952866

    Call for the Shadow. And ask him if contracting her will result in us inheriting the daughter's contract.

    Of course, we're gonna have to ask her what the terms of that contract was.

    Meanwhile, call the spidermen to go recover Lliara. Need to protect our assets, no?

    If Lliara is dead... well then, we have ourselves a martyr, and a veritable reason for us to claim lordship over this worthless city, proper.
    >> Taffer 05/16/11(Mon)23:39 No.14952876
    We can't stall for time since we're stuck in time for this battle.

    OK. She wants us to let her go. Oooh, poor choice of words. We will let her go...into the arms of death. Use her knife against her. Slit her throat. Sever all her large arteries. Bleed her like a cow.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:39 No.14952881

    If we hadn't been all "herp derp torture her! herp derp turn her into a drider! herp derp let's stick to the normal plan!" we could have interrogated her under the influence of pie, or read her mind sooner, or have gotten a briefing from the witch before we barged into the dining hall.

    Instead we acted like idiots and it bit us. This could have been much worse.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:39 No.14952888
    Ok. Bind the matriarch instead of the daughter. Fantastic turn of events here. We'll have a slave in the top-tiers of Drow hierarchy, assuming that they can't undo contracts. If they can, then we should just order her to behave as normal, except subtly assisting us with stuff like materials and raiding enemies.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:40 No.14952892
    Tell her to strip. That'll sting. Then tell the shadow we'll be making another contract.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:41 No.14952908
    This. Seriously.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:41 No.14952910

    Alright, you guys are acting like your brains are working again! Good.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:44 No.14952932
    Fuck off, you pompous ass.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:44 No.14952936
    New Rule, no torture before knowing who the hell it is.
    Also, ask Matriarch for her name and contracts that exist both for her and her daughter, then go heal Witch.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:45 No.14952941
    Shit guys, she's got more magic than a dragon and a witch combined, and by a lot it seems. We need that magic.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:46 No.14952966

    No. Oh fuck, I had a great idea.

    We bring the mother back, grab another prisoner, feed him bits of the pie. Make sure Lliara is all healed up.

    Then we kindly threaten them with the death of the other to get them both into a rather humiliating and sucks-for-you contract. Sure, the pie will do it's work, but we need to illustrate to them our displeasure.

    I'm sure threatening the mother with the imminent rape of the daughter would work fairly well, I suppose.

    We're evil, and we're angry. A breaking is in order.

    Also, we need to imprison them in that hole the assassin was thrown into a while back. Flood it with our mechanical spiders. Or maybe light. Not sure which would be worse for Drow.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:48 No.14952980
    Was thinking that as well, but dragons have different magic and we've never tried the absorbing with people. Also, we know a giant dragon we can go hunting for a powerup, so it might be better to keep her as a minion if we can. Long term benefit of a Drow house against possible magic.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:48 No.14952982
    >I'm sure threatening the mother with the imminent rape of the daughter would work fairly well, I suppose.

    These are drow, rape is like a "yo momma" joke to them.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:50 No.14953004

    Yes, but it's a mother. And judging from her reaction, she is rather protective of her daughter.

    So seeing her sullied by some filthy, surface dwelling human, a MALE at that?

    Unacceptable on her terms, me thinks.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:52 No.14953018
    If we can pie and contract the mother, we can keep the daughter around to torture/screw about with for kicks. First lets see what contracts exist and how the witch is. Also lots of other stuff before we jump on the TORTURE train again.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:52 No.14953020

    She bound her daughter with a dark pact, I'm thinking she's not going to fall into your normal definition of "model caring mother."
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:53 No.14953032
    Steal powers, slit throat, go back to torturing the daughter. Clean and simple, while still logical and increasing our powers.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:53 No.14953041
    After they are both bound. She may be able to fight off the pie faster than normal.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:54 No.14953047
    rolled 68 = 68

    Tell her to shut her mouth and follow you
    go back to thr cell.

    Make a shadow bond with her then with her daughter.

    Also see how Witch is doing. Heal her
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:55 No.14953057
    Rape by a man?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:58 No.14953086
    We, a "filthy human" male, are going to pump her "perfect" drow daughter full of our disgusting human seed.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:58 No.14953095

    This. Either way, from what everyone has been saying, this needs to be done.

    We should just cut out the crap - have her tell us the terms of the contract with her daughter, then what would happen to said contract if we were to contract with the mother (employer).

    Perhaps we can write the contract in such a way that as the person contracting her, we can also claim all contracts she has made to others, as well as the right to re-write said subordinate contracts?

    That way, we don't really HAVE to know what those contracts are. We can re-write them on the fly and it would be as if we contracted them ourselves.

    >Essentially we sort of inherit any of her contracts, in the sense that "I'm the boss of your boss, making me your boss too."
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:58 No.14953096
    Honestly, with the mother, we need no contract on the daughter. Steal powers, enslave her, do whatever the fuck we like with the girl.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:58 No.14953098
    i couldn't imagine anything more insulting to a drow
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:58 No.14953099
    rolled 59 = 59

    Aw fuck

    Make sure that matriarch is not bound to anyone else. We cant have another duel. Order her to tell you that
    IF she is, go to the shadow and order the matriarch to undo her pact with her daughter, then go back to normal timestream and order you spiders to craft the magic draining hex so that we can drain the matriarch
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:00 No.14953112
    Petty and shortsighted, if we have the matriarch we should squeeze for information first and see what we could do with her, keeping the daughter for torture is fine.

    I point out again we haven't absorbed magic from people, just items and dragons with dragons having been described in a much different manner from magic users.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/17/11(Tue)00:20 No.14953316
    Indulging in some hideously evil laughter, you put your hand on her shoulder and push her to her knees. Crouching down, your raspy voice commands her to be silent, and follow you back to the dungeon. She seems to struggle against the pie's power, her knife shaking with her rage as she tries to move her arm to your neck. Repeating your orders impatiently, she rises to her feet. Standing up, you swing round and walk through the rubble of your throne room, stepping over your broken throne. The Drow follows, and as you and she go downwards through the bits of stone, most of which seem to float in mid air, you question her on her contracts. She tries to fight speaking with you, but after repeating yourself has no choice but to admit that she is not bound to anyone above her. However, she does possess many contracts of her own, though only with her immediate subordinates. You have a chuckle at her expense, and pushing a piece of broken rock from your way, enter the dungeon. Spotting the witch, you rush forth to her side. Her breath ragged and forced, you hold her in your arms and begin to use your own reserves of Divine magic. Laying your hands on her chest, you heal the area where the lightning bolt hit, and pick her up off the ground. Healing her further, you jog down into the other Drow's cell, pushing the prisoner from before off his bench. Placing Lliara on the wooden plank, you continue to heal her, and as her breath returns to normal, let her rest.

    Turning the the Shadow, it puts the contract on the table once more. Smiling, you inform the Shadow that you would like to change the contract slightly. Explaining what changes you wish to make, it sighs and cracks its knuckles.

    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:21 No.14953320
    rolled 1265 = 1265

    >Make sure that matriarch is not bound to anyone else. We cant have another duel. Order her to tell you that IF she is
    This, then:
    >Steal powers, enslave her, do whatever the fuck we like with the girl.
    If we can't steal her magic AND she's bound, then order her and the daughter to forget about the events here and go back home.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/17/11(Tue)00:21 No.14953328
    The Shadow grasps the contract in its clawed hand and opens it once more. The room shifts, ever so slightly, as the contract's writing glows and shifts. The Shadow cracks its neck and hands the papers back to you, speaking once more.
    You hand it to the Shadow, as before.
    You once again tap the prisoner with the side of your foot.
    Pushing the Drow matriarch forward by the neck, you look towards the witch as the Shadow places the contract in the matriarch's hands.
    The matriarch tries to speak, but you pull her by the hair and tell her to say no. The Drow refuses for a moment, so you repeat yourself again. Clenching her fist, the Drow crushes her hand around the contract and speaks.
    The contract glowing with pale yellow light, the Shadow laughs.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:21 No.14953329
    I still say we should give it a shot. I doubt that any repercussions to draining from a humanoid would be permanent or damaging based on the fact that the magic draining spell would otherwise be retardedly specialized and useless for the most part, and the risk would be worth it this time, since it would probably more than double our own strength.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:21 No.14953330
    okiedokie then, call the spiders to make sure the witch is unharrmed, as per our contract, and ask the matriarch if shes under any contracts, (tell her to tell the truth,obviously) and then force her to hand the contract over to us. And then we can make a contract with her.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/17/11(Tue)00:22 No.14953339
    The familiar flash of light blinds you for a moment, as the room returns to normal. The Drow matriarch stands before you, with her knife at your neck. Grinding her teeth in pain, she tries to push forward, as you sigh. Pushing down on her arm, you lower the knife to her side, and jam it into her leg. The matriarch falls backwards, ripping the knife from her thigh and attempting to raise it against you. Laughing, you turn your back to her and crouch by the witch. Her eyes lock with yours, and she faintly smiles before falling back into her slumber.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:24 No.14953359

    "Haeliira, order your daughter to treat me as if her contract with you were also with me. Don't undo this order or undermine it."
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:25 No.14953369
    awesome. lets call the assassin, we got tourturey fun times, followed by sex to have.

    oh yeah, and the usual orb thing for the matriarch.

    also, what are the terms of our contract with her?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:25 No.14953371
    I assumed we did that already with the change in terms of the contract. That is, everyone that was contracted under the matriarch is now contracted to us.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:26 No.14953382

    Oh if that's the case then it's time to pump them for information.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:27 No.14953395

    "Additionally, you are to beat your daughter with your own hands. For your and her insolence. And you stop when I say you're done."

    Call in the spiders to help clean up this mess.

    Also, re-write the daughter's contract so she can't harm us. Essentially the same as the witch's contract.

    Now lets go see if our first creation has gotten better at making sandwiches yet.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/17/11(Tue)00:28 No.14953399
    They are the same as the witch's, though sadly sire, you had to replace the 'love the Dark One' portions in order to gain control of those contracted under the matriarch. It seems that they were somehow contradictory.

    So she'll continue to hate your guts for all time.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:28 No.14953404
    We should have the spiders make repairs to the throne room too. If anyone asks, it was an experiment that went a little awry, nothing to be overly alarmed about.
    >> Taffer 05/17/11(Tue)00:29 No.14953416
    Nice one. Can we add this?

    When we are in private or with only those who know of this, you are to address me as 'Exalted Master' and yourself as "slave'. Your daughter has the same orders.

    Should we follow it up with drow rape, or help Lliara recover? Hmm, I say recover, its been a long day, and we can do the rape tomorrow. Who knows, Lliara may even help us in debasing the drow. She certainly enjoyed delivering the torture to the daughter.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:29 No.14953422
    Pump for information, will other drow be able to tell she's been contracted? Current position in Drowland?

    Also, mock the daughter that she caused this. More mental, less physical.

    I kinda wanna make mechanical spider that can masquerade as normal drow spiders since we'll want to maintain our newest "partners" position.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:30 No.14953427
    Guys, I just realized something.

    How are we going to explain the sudden presence of a Drow matriarch in our home, on the surface?

    I think we should... uhhh try to get her back to her home. With explicit orders not to stab us in the back, physically and metaphorically.

    Don't want to accidentally trigger a war here.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:31 No.14953445
    So that's why the witch loves us. I thought it was pretty weird. So if we were ever to break the contract with her, would she continue loving us I wonder?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:35 No.14953472
    We can just order her to do that; it doesn't have to be written into the contract.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:35 No.14953473
    rolled 5620 = 5620

    Given the BATTLE ROAR OF THE TIGER MOTHER teaching style that Chinese and Drow mothers alike share, I think she would enjoy that. Better yet, order her to dance the happy dance with her girl! Or make her perform something from Gilbert&Sullivan, like this:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXWkIZUPmDY&feature=related The spiders can do the chorus! Absolute Evil! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
    Ask her if she has any contact with whatever the drow god is in this setting, ask her to transfer ALL the magic books in her inventory and Doom Fortress to enrich the shelves of our library, make Orb(do these have a name? I'm gonna call them PALantirs) for her and the Girl, etc.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:36 No.14953479
    She's like a franchise filled with hate and darkness! The Best Kind! After asking questions to make sure it would work, I think our next goal should be killing that Dragon we've heard about since we almost got our ass kicked just now.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:36 No.14953481
    love wasnt in the contract..we nixed that idea because we could have simply ordered her to love us..plus, we didnt really care whether she did or not.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:43 No.14953536
    Great. Now, seeing as a bunch of shit probably fell down when time resumed its flow, we should probably go and reassure our guards everything is fine.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:44 No.14953544
         File1305607458.jpg-(151 KB, 500x376, 1304133596386.jpg)
    151 KB
    rolled 3413 = 3413

    Whoops, parenting style would be more appropriate. Ask her for a complete inventory of her magical artifacts and doohickeys, request the transfer of the shiny ones.
    Pic related.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:50 No.14953594
         File1305607848.jpg-(18 KB, 482x689, repin42.jpg)
    18 KB
    rolled 918 = 918

    Finally, ask the spiders why they didn't help us. Put out our son, I'm disappoint face.
    Aeditted for grammer mistakes.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:51 No.14953598
    We are very the model of a model major-general. Brilliant.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:53 No.14953614

    Time froze, I believe.

    Still worth asking, I suppose.

    Evil minion, did time freeze during that whole magic battle of apocalyptic proportions?
    >> Taffer 05/17/11(Tue)00:58 No.14953656
    Hmm, I was wondering why would a drow matriarch willingly enter an alliance with a human kingdom, or at least Lord Blackmoore?

    If the drow matriarch initiated it, means that her clan must the a very weak clan, needing help from those aboveground as their arrogance won't let us help them unless in the most dire situations.

    If Lord Blackmoore (or the country) started it, then it must be weaker than we thought. Losing territory to Picardwall, the influx of refugees to the one so-thought safe place in the country.

    Either way, opportunites and risks abound.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:00 No.14953672
    rolled 6399 = 6399

    Probably for whores&profit. The Drow queen provides fine soldiers and intel, Lord Dicksonfireretarded gives some of the booty and the occasional POWs. Of course we should ask the Drow.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:01 No.14953677

    Indeed, we need to ask her that.

    Perhaps after our mess is cleaned up, and we've managed to rest up a bit.

    On a side note, we should have the Drow called into our room... and do nothing to her. Let the mother know, HEAVILY imply what would naturally follow, but never actually DO anything.

    Thus, when we order the daughter to "truthfully inform her mother what I did to you during the night," she will honestly say that we didn't touch her or anything.

    We could spend all our time tending to Lliara (we'll probably let her sleep next to us, so we can monitor her condition). Brownie points, wooo!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:22 No.14953853
    rolled 8604 = 8604

    Maybe we can suck some of the magic off the magical artifacts we're not going to use? Give some to Lliara too, that was WAY too close for our waifu.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/17/11(Tue)01:32 No.14953940
    Sitting next to the witch on the bench, you lie back against the wall and watch the matriarch struggle against the contract. Thinking of the many ways you could punish her, you decide upon forcing her to beat her daughter. First laying down the ground rules by which your relationship shall function, you wave your tower spiders away as they go to seize the matriarch. Explaining the situation to them, they leave watching the Drow suspiciously, moving down the hallway so as to begin repairs on your tower. With the matter of titles addressed, you order the matriarch to begin the beating as you pull Lliara, now partially conscious, to her feet. Walking with her down the hall as the Drow mother begins to pummel her daughter, you pass the witch off to a spider picking up bits of stone, ordering that she be brought to your quarters to recover. Pausing to ask why the tower spiders did not help you fight the Drow, they respond that they did not see you do so. In fact, they only saw you pull out the contract, and then the matriarch appeared. Acknowledging their helplessness in that situation, you leave the dungeon, followed by the tower spiders, as the sounds of fists hitting flesh still come from behind you.

    As you climb the staircase to the upper levels of the tower, you find yourself shoved aside by an assassin and an Orc. They don't pay you any mind at first, but quickly double back as you call out their names. The assassin asks what happened in a concerned tone, with the Orc apologizing for shoving you aside. Informing them of your little scuffle with a Drow matriarch, you assure them that it is nothing to concern themselves with, and continue onwards up the tower. The pair lag behind for a moment, before running to catch up to you as you exit the staircase on the throne room level.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/17/11(Tue)01:33 No.14953953
    Your spidermen looking around for you frantically, they run at you with swords draw as they spot your round the corner. Reassuring them as you did the Orc and the assassin, you pass them by and enter your laboratory. The spiders are gone, it seems, along with the ones they had captured. Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you pull a bit of the matriarch's hair from your robes and begin to craft an orb. With the Orc standing guard in the laboratory, you craft the sphere alone, melting the ingredients down and mixing in the hair. With a pair of thick gloves you mix the chemicals with a metal rod, watching it boil and burn. Pausing to check the time, you find it to be several hours past midnight. The sun rising outside, you yawn and continue your work. Your arms heavy with exhaustion, you pour the compound into the mould, and sit back against the wall as it cools. Watching it cool, you struggle to stay awake, until you finally pass into slumber.

    Opening your eyes, you stretch out your tense limbs and look around. You're in your quarters, with your witch sitting in a chair beside you. It's night outside, the moon high in the sky. Looking down at your torso, you find yourself wrapped in bandages. Blood begins to seep through them, as the witch melts away into darkness. Your bed begins to fall down, down into the darkness of your tower, as you pass hundreds of staring eyes, shadows flickering across the walls. They grin with evil intent, their teeth mouthing the words they speak.

    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/17/11(Tue)01:34 No.14953957
    Awaking with a shout, you gaze around your laboratory. Throwing the blanket off your body, you check for bleeding, and find none. The sphere's mould sits on the table beside you, cold as the rest of the room. Looking outside the window, you see the sun beginning to rise. Again, it seems. Pulling the mould towards you, your body aching from your long sleep, you break open the mould, and remove the sphere. Remembering the Drow, you leave for the dungeon as the orb slowly flickers to life. Glowing at your touch, you feel your way into the matriarch's mind. It feels far larger than the others you have made orbs for. With so many more thoughts. Passing the apparently rebuilt walls, you rotate your shoulder for a moment, your muscles too tight for comfort. Hearing the sound of blows being landed as you near the Drow's cell, you peer inside. The matriarch seems to be on the verge of dying from exhaustion, and her daughter a bruised mess of pain. A small spider sits atop the daughter's head, its arms seeming to move through the air unnaturally. It dawns on you that it is healing the daughter.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:36 No.14953975
         File1305610598.jpg-(119 KB, 1024x768, flash.jpg)
    119 KB
    rolled 4170 = 4170

    >They don't pay you any mind at first,
    >The pair lag behind for a moment
    SHIT WE ARE PROBABLY RUNNING ON A DIFFERENT TIMERATE! Or they are in love and are spaced out. But I'd rather believe we have permanent haste cast on us, think of ALL THE MAYEM WE COULD CAUSE!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:38 No.14953990

    Snort at them and then say, "Nice to know she's so durable. Stop beating her."

    Heal them both, and then have them strip. Conduct the interrogation with them nude, just to highlight how utterly helpless they are. Maybe have them molest each other while they speak.

    We need to find out about resources, who is expecting them where, what the pre-arranged response to the matriarch disappearing is, long term plans, spy networks, the works.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:39 No.14953998
    >You are ours

    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:41 No.14954014
    rolled 1847 = 1847

    This but without the molesting. we aren't turning this shit into your personal rapefic. Get their magical doohickeys and CONSUME THEM ALL. Also, we need to take some time off man, them dreams.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:44 No.14954052

    But it's hella evil and there's no reason not to.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:44 No.14954059
    O fuck we are so screwed. Gather all the trusted servants, spiders, spidermen and the like and tell them to be on high alert of a possible impending attack on the tower by fugly elves.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:44 No.14954061
    Right. So, creepy dreams? Check. Possible time-flow changes? Check. Powers that occasionally do stuff without us telling them to? Check.

    Shit's about to get real interesting.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:46 No.14954066

    I don't think that is the case, brah.


    I suppose it's time that we ask the loving mother and daughter if they've had enough, no?

    And of course, we won't immediately order them to cease.

    In fact, it might be more amusing to address our spider construct first. You know, the whole "hello little one, what are you up to? Healing the prisoner? How thoughtful of you." After conversing with our construct (which has probably stopped healing the Drow by now), we THEN address the two.

    We want to hear them beg for forgiveness, pledges of loyalty borne out of exhaustion and a fracturing mind.

    After which, we can go with the whole nice guy routine again, and make some suggestions for a plausible explanation for their presence up here on the surface.

    We can go: "Perhaps the ever-loving mother, and ally of this nation, decided to pay a visit to the festivities being held, in part to celebrate her daughter's victory, as well as to take care of business with the surface dwellers. And of course, the two of them would present themselves to high society... and with the daughter having befriended the good Mayor Mooncraft, it would be no surprise that I, an entrepreneur, would see this as an opportunity to showcase my new line of silk clothing..."

    At which point, we make some fuss about their current state, and whisk them away for healing and sizing. We need their measurements if we are to present them properly in our silk!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:47 No.14954073
         File1305611269.jpg-(118 KB, 471x600, castlevania_sotn_conceptart_La(...).jpg)
    118 KB
    rolled 8837 = 8837

    How about HERP *fap* DERP *fap* GIRL WAT DO? /tg/ is chokefull of neckbeard hormones, I would not see this quest fail and die because of that. HAVE AT YOU!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:50 No.14954090

    Note for the future:

    Keep a cabinet stocked with wine glasses and wine at the side of our throne for when we eventually get some adventurers challenging us.

    On that note, we need more spider-themed stuff.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:52 No.14954106
    how is giving the drow bitches our armor in any way a good idea?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:53 No.14954112

    They're OUR drow bitches is how.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:54 No.14954128
    rolled 5816 = 5816

    More Durable henchmen = More time they can buy us? Not sure if trolling or just... haven't really thought about it. Man, it's obvious. Or perhaps you are seeing an angle hidden to me?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:54 No.14954131
    you saw the
    >"YOU ARE OURS."

    I vote we not give them anything that could be detrimental untill we have the majority of the drow bitches under our controll at the least.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)02:00 No.14954170

    Yes, and we are going to use them to increase our wealth.

    We need to grab all the (other) women in the tower and have them help us design something for the Drow. And the Mayor, I guess. A new design; luxurious robes that choose not to compromise form or function! Like velvet milk flowing beneath the midnight moon, all women would look stunning in our gowns, while simultaneously be offered perfect protection!

    And, of course, we can design something for the men too, something that we and the orc will showcase. We will highlight the "civilian" model, whilst the one our Orc wears will be geared more towards the military. Think a perfectly functional military dress uniform.

    Perhaps we can cast some simple illusion spells into it, so (for the military model) it would, upon command (or something like that, maybe rune-activation) it would camoflage or something to that effect.

    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)02:01 No.14954181
         File1305612103.png-(107 KB, 480x715, XMAStarrasque.png)
    107 KB
    rolled 7069 = 7069

    Nah, it's probably just a nightmare born from extreme stress and our handshake with the bony faced, an amber warning so we are less HERP DERP CAEKBIND! in the future. Besides, IT'S PARTY TIME! Pic unrelated. OR IS IT!?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)02:04 No.14954206
    well i admit, i'm always slightly paranoid.

    But i feel that these contracts arent as permanent as we think them to be, and when that happens were screwed.

    Its probably just me being paranoid.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)02:06 No.14954221

    We can, and should when we have a little more time, research these contracts more.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)02:07 No.14954232

    Well, we DID just override one.

    So yeah, you're right. We need to find a way to make them bend to us of their own volition.

    So how about we lay off the soul-binding contracts for a bit? Do things the old fashioned way?

    Also, we so need to start up that Dark Academy for our Dark Apostle following.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)02:09 No.14954252
    rolled 4552 = 4552

    Yeah, paranoid is good. We could always ask that Drow hag or our personal YODAWG attorney if there's anything about these contracts(hidden clauses, exceptions, time duration bound to the devil's permanency in office) that could potentially bite us in the ass.

    Also get her magical tomes and items, keep the shiny ones, absorb the useless gimmicks and LABELED-FOR-HERO ones. inb4alignmentshift
    >> Perverted (and Paranoid) White knight 05/17/11(Tue)02:09 No.14954253
    I think those are the Shadows instead of the drows.

    Thing is, do we revolt, embrace, or steamroll over them as their lord?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)02:11 No.14954275
    The Shadow Lawyer from before seemed to think we'd make a good shadow. Fore*shadow*ing, perhaps?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)02:11 No.14954278
    With so many more people under us via dark contract (Haeliira, Haeliira's other underlings, Dricree, Lliara) we've greatly increased our risk of being called on to fight for them in a contract dispute.

    Better be ready for a fight all the time.

    Also, how many people did we inherit from Haeliira's contracts? Who are they, what can they do, where are they, and how do we get in contact with them?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)02:19 No.14954350
    have we made sweet love to the witch yet?

    I think shes earned it.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)02:19 No.14954351
    That was terrible and you should feel terrible.
    >> Beginner's Guide to Evil !y15cQl1vv6 05/17/11(Tue)02:21 No.14954372
    Sire, while I enjoy your jokes as much as the next minion, I feel I speak for all of us when I insist that you never use that one again.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)02:22 No.14954383
    Is this thread autosaging?

    Maybe time for a new one?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)02:34 No.14954514

    New thread~
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)02:36 No.14954525
    rolled 351 = 351

    (not OP, in case that wasn't obvious)
    >> Perverted (and Paranoid) White knight 05/17/11(Tue)02:37 No.14954540
    Have it been confirmed if the contracts of the Drow Matron (what's her name) is inherited or not, or if her contracts only honors us through her orders?

    Also, since not all Shadow contracts is not all one-sided as ours, we need to get some time to check through the contracts that she have.

    There might be some 'SAVE ME FROM MY ENEMIES' clause from one of the contractees.

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