I'll give this here story a bump, all quickly like.

Walk around the town and see how everyone acts now that they know just how badly they're off without you around to save their asses everytime some desperado criminal rolls in. Hopefully they've learned their lesson.

>>14951679
You think to yourself that it's probably a good idea to see how the people are doing. Hopefully they'll know now that you're needed 'round these parts. And Hell, you got yerself one of them fancy Guns now. No idea what it does, but hey, it's got three barrels. Looks like one of them perrymids 'cross the sea and yonder. Must be somethin'.

You get up from your chair, open the door to your office, go outside in the nice warm Summer air, and close the door behind you.

Oh look, a riot.

Wait, what?

Wouldn't you know it, there's a whole riot of half-nekkid coalminers and a bunch of other men in sleepytime getups with the feet in the perjamas and with flaps on the butts. It'd be funny iffen they didn't have torches and pitchforks and cussin' 'bout how they're gonna ring your neck and make yeh eat yer innertestines (whatever the spit THOSE are).

What do you do?

>>14951760

Fire your shiny new gun into the air to get them to calm down.

"If'n y'all be wanting this lawlessness to continue and havin to worry yer purdy little heads about bein' robbed e'ry time you walk outta your homes, then by all means, go ahead 'n hand me.

Or you can quit this foolish business and let me get back to doin' my job now. Your decision."

>>14951819
>hand me

Whoops, that should be "hang me"

>>14951819
(Which one? Your brother's Smythe, or the Three of Clubs?)

>>14951834

Hmm, well, I was originally intending the Three of Clubs, but using the Smythe will let the people know that we killed the one responsible for robbing all of them, and we can display the bag of stolen goods we took back, and let everyone reclaim what was taken.

Best to keep our Three of Clubs as our trump card for now, and play it close to our chest.

>>14951865
(Good choice.)

You make a smart choice (weird how all a sudden yer makin' all these good idears in yer noggin) and choose to fire your brother's Smythe in the air. You take it from your left-hand holster and fire it once in the air.

BANG!!

Good lord, that's one loud sonofagun. Almost felt like the ground moved. All the people shut their yaps though, so I reckon that's mighty nice.

You decide to speak up, since they decided so nicely to close their pie-holes. "If'n y'all be wanting this lawlessness to continue and havin to worry yer purdy little heads about bein' robbed e'ry time you walk outta your homes, then by all means, go ahead 'n hang me."

You pause for that there dramatic 'ffect. Seems to work pretty good. "Or you can quit this foolish business and let me get back to doin' my job now. Your decision."

(Persuasion: SVY vs. SVY. Result: Success!)

The people look at each other once more. You hear an almost collective gulp. One 'ticularly meek voice squeaks, "Fine, Sheriff, but this is your last chance!" And with that, they mutter to themselves and bugger off.

Nicely done, brain o' mine. Now what?

whats in the bag of stolen goodies and do we know who they belong to?

>>14952037
('memberin' somethin' 'portant check: fail)

Once all the people disperse, you sigh and slump against the door of your building. That's when you remember that's a giant sack o' people's shit hangin' on your back.

Oh goddammit, you fergot to tell 'em 'bout their missin' shit! They're all already gone an' on their business...

Should I just keep it in the buildin' fer tomorrow, search it like a nosy kid on Christmas, spend all night climbin' down chimneys and givin' the shit back, or just drop it off at the Inn and let them deal with it?

whats in the bag man???!

>>14952081

If there are specific things we know belong to people, we can return it ourselves, the ones that we don't know about, we can keep locked up somewhere in our office/house/whatever and let the populace know they can drop on by in an orderly fashion to reclaim their goods.

>>14952081
Keep it for tomorrow and figure out who some of it belongs to. They're still kinda pissed at us anyway, and probably won't want to see us again tonight

>>14952123
>>14952122
>>14952099
You reckon you can look at what's in the bag, see iffen you re-cognerize what belongs to who, and put the rest in the mailhouse and have THEM deal with it. Them assholes barely do anything anyway.

You go back inside your office, and decide to dump everything on the table. Dear god, what a mess. Pocket watches, money clips, jewelry, monnercles, a smooshed-down top hat (guessin' it's mora bottom hat now, heh), some dirty clothes, a fancy lookin' dairy, and a doll.

Anything in 'ticular I should give a good lookin' to?

>>14952250
Jewelry, watches, and that diary should have initials or names we can match up with.

Some poor girl's probably missin' her dolly something terrible now. Hope we can find her soon and return it to her....wait why would a theif want to steal a doll in the first place? Was he really that much of a bastard?

Is there a lock on the dairy? or can we go rifling through it?

>>14952299
That's right, talkin' voice! Should be some letters somewhere on the stuff. That way it's all easier for those lazy-ass mailhouse jerks to throw everything back to the dogs, errr, "kind townspeople."

A couple of the rings got engravings in 'em. "To my lovin' wife, Gloria"; "Yer always in our hearts 'n' such" etcetery etcetery. Same with the watches, couple of initials an' the like. The black diary, it's made out of somethin' nice, like leather but better. Feels smooth an' supple, like a soft behind. You try to open it, but goddammit, it's got a lock. You turn it around and see somethin' carved in the back of the smooth material: "C. W. M."

The doll.... The hell? The doll, with its short black hair, deep green eyes, rugged facial hair, slightly crooked nose, dark brown duster with a dirty white button-up shirt... Looks awfully like, well, you.

"Jesus Christ," you manage to mutter. "How horrifying."

Now what do you do?

>>14952425

A doll that looks like us?

That's...weird. Seems a lot of weird things 've been happening around here.

Set out a notice or something around the townsfolk letting them know that they can come and reclaim their stuff here.

>>14952425
Did we finish our beans? If not, finish them. If so, sit on the porch and watch the town.

>>14952476
(Here as in the station, or did you mean back at the mailhouse like James originally intended? Whichever you want, really.)

>>14952532

Mailhouse.

>>14952545
>>14952488
(Right on.)

Creepy shit aside, you might as well put everything back in the bag and bring it to the mailhouse. You got the key for it anyway, so you can just drop it off there. Before that, you decide to write up a quick notice:

"Deer habitats of New Johnstown,

I found yer stolen propriety. Come on down to the mailhouse to git it.

From, Sheriff McClellan.

P.S. whoever made a doll in my samblence is weird an' y'all should feel weird"

Proud of your handiwork, you put your pen down and nod. You leave with the stuff, go down to the mailhouse, and unlock the white door. You go inside, not able to see much, and drop the bag. The diary just so happens to pop out from the top.

Do you leave it, or take it as a sign to keep it?

>>14952617
Oh, shit, and you ate all yer beans already. Sorry, Tex.

>>14952617

From the initials, I bet it belonged to our brother.

Seein' as we're next-of-kin, I think we should keep it for now.

>>14952617
Leave it. We don't need another riot over a damned book.

>>14952617
We shouldn't plan on permanently keeping it but taking a closer look at it seems to be a plan as it wants to be read and given that we just got a Gun life is going to end up pretty freaky from now on so we might as well go with the flow in this case.

>>14952658
(Sorry, chief. You got beat 2 to 1. Would've been interesting, though... And you make a good point.)
>>14952652
>>14952687
You sigh. You got a funny feelin' that things are gonna start to git perdy strange and all enegmatic-like now that you got this here Gun. 'gardless, you shuffle on over to the bag an' pick up the diary. You turn it over once more, feelin' the carved letters with your fingertips all so gentle an' slow-like, as if you were pettin' a pussy cat of some innerendoed form o' speakin'.

"Shit," you whisper, everything makin' sense as if you had one of them Tiffanies.... err... epuddies... god damn it, what's the fuckin' wo-

Epiphany! "C. W. M.... Charles William McClellan!" You yell, clutching the book in excitement. Jesus Spit-shinin' Christ, how could you have been so stupid!? It's your brother's, of course. Hot damn.

...Too bad you ain't got a way o' openin' it. Sigh.

Now what?

>>14952812
Well it wouldn't be that hard to open it by just cutting the lock off of the diary but I'd rather not destroy it, do a quick search through the bag for a key and if it's not there we can force it open pretty easily.

>>14952977
(I actually have to get going... got a lot of shit on my plate for tomorrow. I'll post an archive link in a second. Your suggestion will be the first one tomorrow.)

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=wild+cards

very bottom, vote it up if you would, please. Thank you, all, have a good night!