God is a giant ass that shits out mountains.

donkeys are the ruling class

>>14957608
>>14957610

So...how about we make it so that God is a giant ass as in a DONKEY, and this donkey shits out mountaints, and this is why donkeys are the ruling class?

>>14957623
Perhaps ruling class could mean "holy animals" like cows in Hinduism
I approve

The rivers are sweet nurturing lemonade.

People wear onions on their belts because it's in style.

>>14957623
>>14957623
>>14957623
donkey approves you may kiss the royal hoof

Clouds are made of vaporized Marmite.

There are six different schools of magic

>>14957643
The currency always has a picture of a bumble bee on it, and is referred to as a 'bee'

>>14957664
100 bees coins is called a hive

>>14957663

Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry, Cream, Straciatello and Lemon

This had the potential to be a cool thread and you cunts fucked it up.
Well done, /tg/

>>14957684
Why lemon of all things? It's so different that the other ones.

I suggest we make Lemon school the necromancy of that world.

the 6 types of magic are funk, hate, love, punch kick and techno.

There are rumors of the 1000 year Branston Pickle Pirates.

>>14957669

High-value paper currency is available. Smallest bill is 5 hives, or hive-five.

>>14957669
Coins are Hexagonal like a honeycomb.

>>14957698

Funkenmasters are the only one's allowed to touch donkeys

>>14957690
All it took was one post.
>>14957608

Can't win all of them.

>>14957684
>>14957698
The flavors are Divine Schools. The genres are Arcane.

>>14957716
>>14957716
>>14957716
>>14957716

but even they must do so whilst wearing a dress

>>14957705
>>14957669
>>14957664
>>14957643

I fucking love you guys.

>>14957664
>>14957669
>>14957702
>>14957705
Bankers are called beekeepers

Surema is an alien continent from a planet far away and under the lemon shaped sun, has generic superpowers.

The super-continent has a giant "s"-shaped crevice carved in the middle of it, and flies around the universe on a regular basis, defending weaker planets from their enemies.

>>14957733

The donkeys were brought there long ago from another world, by Don-Karr, the Mountain Shitter.

>>14957702
The largest bill is a 1000 hives, commonly called a Swarm.

>>14957716

Hatelocks, kickpunchers, Technomancers.

Love wizards are just called whores.

>>14957623

Mountains are numerous and carry a divine stench. Like serious. You can't walk 5 feet without there being another mountain.

>>14957643
>>14957759

The demand for onions has caused nonstop strife for the precious non mountain land

That'll be six hives please

>>14957776
But the fashion for onions occurred as a means to overpower the stench from the mountains

Temples of Don-Karr ban the use of onions to mask the smell of the divine, they instead recommended showers in the lemonade rivers.

>>14957749
Technomancers need elaborate devices to cast their spells. Some epic level technomancers need huge ox driven platforms to carry their spellcasting sets.

Oxen are heretics of the Donkey master caste!

>>14957822

Technonaughts lead the technomancers in mass rituals in the secluded forests, drawing the ire of the Kickpunchers

Kickpunchers possess the power of divine muscle flexing, are restricted to only wearing speedoes and can cast Fist. Kickpunching is forbidden in most major cities because of damage it can cause.

>>14957684

The Divine Order of Lemon enjoy having parties. Everyone attends but no one stays.

Because of all the fertilizer plants in this world grow to gigantic size. Onse a year Donkey master descends from heaven to graze on best bits of vegetation. Those kickpunchers who grew the best forest are rewarded greatly.

>>14957970
Once*

>>14957864
Cool.

Cool cool cool.

The most common trees are coned trees- and can only release seeds to great heat such as forest fires. Kickpunchers learn how to create great friction by rubbing their hands together in order to create heat, and use it to harvest cones in the high trees- incidentally, Kickpunchers may also use this as an attack.

Amongst the most fearsome beasts Surema are the Valedrak; large amphibious land-whales

NO NO NO

Not an ass as in the animal! I meant a GIANT HUMANOID ASS

.>>14958045
The asses have humanoid asses? I see. This should lead to butt worship, in which others may praise eachother's rumps for the resemblance to the god and upper class. Incidentally, the phrase "Dat Ass" is often used as a compliment of fashion, and those that receive it often are commonly priests or funk wizards.

>>14958045
Like this? I'm okay with a humanoid donkey

(btw I know what you mean but you're a prick)

Hatelocks are lonely socially reclusive mages who spend their days in deep mountain caves harboring grudges. They are harmless until provoked.Sometimes a young hatelock steps into already occupied cave by mistake, never to be seen again.

Hatelocks are often reclusive for the reason that it gives them power- having time to ponder the hate they bare gives them more security in it, and thus they become stronger- though more socially indept. Being confronted will end in being Hated to death.

It is notable that seclusion can be dangerous to a Hatelock themselves- as some turn the loneliness into a hate as well- and realize it was their own fault for running off. This often ends in death. Hatelocks in civilized society are often drugged out of their minds until used, in which they are more or less implanted like a bomb in an enemy territory

There is a species of 8 foot tall Yeti in this world, who reside in the land of Yetrik. They are scary barbarians with tribal culture and a feared army.

>>14957864
What's this from? It's almost perfect character art for a campaign I'm dm'ing

Also, the king has a large bee farm, and is the continent's largest producer of honey.

Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry, Cream, Straciatello and Lemon are not only schools of magic, they are natural elements of Surema.

>>14958198
Cho aniki. Google at your own risk.

Despite their reclusive nature unwise nobles often attempt to court the attentions of Hatelocks. They leave offerings outside caves suspected of housing a Hatelock. It is believed that most of these offerings are simply snatched by adventurers, which is fortunate for the nobles as a Hatelock presented with a bribe is likely to fly into a murderous rage.

>>14958174
They wage a bloody centuries-spanning war with northern elves.

High temples in the tops of very old mountains are surrounded by clouds. Half the population can't travel through clouds for any length of time due to the hives and disgusting taste- Those that cannot stand clouds tend towards a Genre alignment, while those who can tend towards a Flavor alignment.

It is notable that Horses are held nearly as high regard as Asses, however the Mule is an Abomination, both a perfect being of horse like stamina and ass like strength, but bearing the rear of a horse, which is unworthy of the donkey's presence. They are often given to the underclassmen as orphans.

There are stories of Mules rising in power as adventurers, and usurping their Ass brethren, but these reigns are often short lived- as Mules are unable to claim kin, or make heirs.

>>14958214
Deargod.jpg

Ah well. Hopefully they'll never know.

It is said that the Amber from honey is a great magical conduit- but it is disproved repeatedly.

Another way to test alignment in the realm is to mix Lime juice and Coconut juice, two very rare finds, and offering it to someone. This often leaves the subject with a bellyache which may need treated by a doctor, but the result is them stating their opinion of which it tastes of more- lime or coconut. There are myths of mixing lime, coconut, and Honey, to summon twin driads that would sing to the world, though would argue of which flavor the mix leans to, leading to the alignment telling in the first place.

>>14958286
>>14958342
Those who say Coconut are towards the Flavor end of the spectrum, and those who say Lime are towards the Genre end.

The oceans are clear blue- but there are noticeable patches of purple in spots. These sections are stable enough to stand on, but often are very slick and jiggly. These are called Gel Bars, they sometimes cause problems for ships as they are hard to spot from long distances, or underestimatable- but those casters of the Flavor genre prize these growths, as they can be dried, mixed with the flavor of their choosing, and used for an magical fuel source.

There is a strange race of goblins that live in the mountainous regions. They are, however, peaceful and said to be master engineers.

>>14958493
These goblins are the cultivators of the Limes and Coconuts, and use them because they are so far into the mountains, they can no longer test their magical type in the traditional sense.

It is said that the goblins worship the Oxes rather than the Asses- and though this may cause discrepancies, the goblins are still more valuable allies than enemies.

Funkenmeisters live in a huge tower city. It becomes more distorted and reality-warping near the top. Senior funkenmeisters possess the ability to walk on walls and ceilings of said tower. However they must memorize the overly complicated Book Of Traffic Laws to get permission.

>>14958514

They also use awakened monkeys to help rig and build their tremendous machines.

>>14958547
There is a special Funkienmeister, known simply as "Hammer", who wears shiny, baggy pants that are said to have the golden hue of honey. He is most known for mastering the Funkienmeister technique for evading touch, as well as inventing an area warping spell known as "Hammer Time". His most common depiction is him shown on an giant ass' ass.

The greatest abominations to the Donkeys are the Zebras, dark mirrors of their glory. Their power over both Hate and Vanilla results in unparalleled battle prowess.
They are, thankfully, rare.

>>14958064
Experts on the subject of identifying asses often wear special tinted glasses.

>>14958601

Though their are rumours of a coming battle force of zebras from he East. Led by a pegasus Zebra, who was granted wings by the evil Zebra god, Stripanor.

You know that system "Don't Rest Your Head" ? There should be a system called "Keep A Straight Face" just to run this setting..

Lemon is essence of life in the world of Surema. Those, who have power over said essence are both revered and feared; they can even bring back the dead and control mindsof weaker individuals.

>>14958768
Chocolate is the essence of defense.
Chocolatiers can summon massive amounts of the stuff from some unknown place, creating barriers, armor, weapons, and with a hint of lemon, animate creatures.
The chocolate comes in grades, with white being the lowest and dark being the highest.

>>14958493
These goblins are notorious for squandering the delicacy of this world; slugs. The slugs in this universe are the size of a chihuahua dog.

>>14958804
Vanilla is essence of nature untouched by humans, donkeys or other sentient species. It is very hard to control, as slightest change made non-carefully corrupts this essence into Straciatello.

>>14958847

And preserves are the essence of magic. Different preserves hold different magical properties.

>>14958847
Strawberry is the essence of destruction.
The simplest cantrips shoot thousands of tiny, exploding seeds, while greater workings can offend the Great Behind by destroying an entire mountain. Such spells are kept under tight control, however.

It is forbidden to even mention jam. Nobody will ever want to talk about it and will quickly run away if you do. If you stay in a town and ask about jam for a couple days you'll notice that tavern owners and vendors you've talked to have disappeared. This happens all over the world.

Straciatello is the essence of rulership. What man sees, and what he can do with it- this is the purview of this magic.
The least user can divine the most efficient way to organise their affairs, attack, or defend; greater users may rightfully claim ownership of small countries for the greater rules of Fate, which is disallowed only if the user attempts to remain in power. This is enforced by the Anarchists, an elite core of Inverse Straciatello/Funkenmasters that bring freedom to the oppressed.

There is a race of pitch black-skinned dwarves that ride rhinos. They are nomadic in nature and are said to hail from an arid desert South of Surema.

Cream is the essence of Hipsterism. The least user can channel it to divine the action of the greatest number of people, to find hidden things, and to call down curses and imprecations. Greater users can ignore otherwise common maladies (Such as being knifed in the head), remove themselves temporarily from existence, and heap such scathing scorn on a foe as to cause them to expire from embarrassment.

>>14959120
by South of Surema I guess you mean Southern Sumera? It's a supercontinent afterall

>>14959120
These dwarves have been known to have had clashes with the mammophant riding tribe of Ts'abaa - a race of gnomes with great skill in rope-warfare

>>14959213
However the Creammancy taught in magic schools is just a mockery of True Creammancy. The reason it is kept in secret is simple: Yhe ppower of each True creammancer is inversely proportional to number of them. And there are rumors that one rogue creammancer wants to seize all this power. Now the secret society of creammancers is horribly elitistic and paranoid, not knowing whom to trust. And two creammancers were found dead already...

So, this thread has turned from >I really would run this into >I AM GOING TO RUN THIS, FUCK EVERYBODY WHO SAYS OTHERWISE!

>>14960153
I rather enjoyed it.

Something about how hungry we all obviously are made it really worthwhile.

>>14959447
The gnomes, or Umpha Lumphaa, as they call themselves, are people of the hills, taking the highest points to build cities. These gnomes are known for their prestige for flavor casting- and their ropes are no different. They use something they call 'liquorish', a great, firm substance that is as edible as it is long- but is often tainted. Pure liquorish is often a dark rope, many think it to be an unbearable, inedible horror, the gnomes and some others find it to be a delightful candy. It seems to be an melting pot for magic, making the usually impossible possible- there have been contemplation for mixing Gel and Liquorish, but it has been avoided for safety of those involved. It is noted that the ropes are often covered in spots of yellow- Lemon. Living, obedient snake like rope that attacks others on command, and it might as well be wrapped in true rope for defense- but that is certainly not the extent. The gnomes harbor one last, vile, corrupt creation- Red Liquorish. It is much like it's black counterpart- but it bears destructive powers. It is often seen only as a weapon of war wielded by professionals and mages, but those with experience can slaughter many, with spiny seeds shot from a small hole in the 'mouth'. Gnomes are often regarded with fear and suspicion- and a Gnome Rope trader is either avoided completely, or sought out in hopes of buying such a weapon. The gnomes are often also skilled with Chocolate, creating feirce weapons of Liquorish and Chocolate that are usually impossible by the laws of nature.

>>14960187
>>14960153
BRB, rollan up strawberry/chocolate Donkeyblood warpriest.
Considered chocolate/straciatello for better buffing, but decided I wanted to blast things more.

>>14960273
The gnomes seem not to have interest in the animals of the other races, they seem to create vehicles and work forces of their Liquorish. They are seen in battle in great suits of armor- enchanted wafer layers coated in chocolate, a large breast piece that they can sit inside, and control throughout with a bastard mix of these wafers and their liquorish technology, proclaiming themselves Malt Marines. Though they are relatively a kind race, they are also xenophobic, sometimes attacking other races that stray too close to their lands. Dwarves seem to be able to outrun their Malt Marines and great Breadnaughts on the Rinos, but they still fight to evict the "Swangdoodle" from their land.

The gnomes seem not to harvest any interest in the great asses, or Oxen gods, instead seeming to look to a man- A human man who they credit with freeing them from some odd torment. They seem not to refer to him as anything other than Wanko. They rumour that he is still alive, sitting on a wafer throne. In reality, he was a true expert in taking the most Basic magic seed, and using it- Sugar. He would mix sugar with lemon and create swarms of 'Nirds' that was said that he could keep up for hours, mixing them with Liquorish to create a great serpent that would make him unmatchable. It is notable that he was also insane, though the Nird summoning is still a valid spell to this day, at a lower extent. Either his insanity, or something special in him made him so able to keep up such things. The gnomes also seem to seek Wanko Artifacts, such as the GubStupper, a mythical gem that apparently could be used as a source of infinite power

Archive this? I don't know how to

The arcane arts need work.
Whore spells come in two main divisions. The first are large, ornate affairs that invoke the power of the emotion in everyone present, and produce swirling pink shapes as 'runoff'. These are granted power the more people are in the area, and the general 'happiness' of the people. Common invocations include a general increase in speed, strength, and defense, accompanied by a change to skimpier clothing: lust works just as well as happiness.
The second are more subtle affairs that invoke the emotions in others, causing bursts of rage, lust, hatred, or even love. Several notable members of the nobility are whores as a side skillset, as the subtle uses are quite useful in politics.

The most fearsome creatures of this land are Strawberry Dragons, whose diet consists solely of strawberries. Magical energies hidden in this berry allow them to grow to a gigantic size and fire blasts of strawberry energy, obliterating everything in their path. Dragons of other flavor do exist, although they are much smaller. Vanilla dragons are thought to be extinct, and the fact that with beginning of rapid human expansion Straciatello Dragons are seen much more frequently may suggest that dragons gain their color and abilities not only genetically, but also from food they eat. However, dragons'mating and nesting habits are still unknown.

>>14960594
Genre specialists have long been attempting to capture untainted dragon eggs to infuse them with their signature energies in an attempt to make love/hate/funk/punch/kick/techno dragons.

There's a Lemon/Straciatello aspected order of holy bankers, called the Hivesmen. They animate the money of their foes and themselves, subduing the overdrawn, competitors, and those failing to make interest payments into hives and swarms of coins, making hundreds of well-aimed attacks at a distance. They wear distinctive yellow and black uniforms and large funny hats, the more ornate the higher the rank.

there is an island that moves around the super continent of Surema. On this island, there is some ancient ruins, sot of like stone henge, but about half a mile in diameter, and the rocks faintly glow when the moon totally eclipses the sun. The stone pillars, however, do not glow at that time, but if one were to lick it, they would taste oranges.

no one knows where it came from, but it makes a full circle around the continent every five years.

While not an element, salt reacts with them - acting as magic destabilizer when Flavor energy collides with them. Salt bombs are very effective against rogue Flavor mages, as they cover wide area with salty dust -casting any spell in this area is suicide. Needlessly flashy and horrifyingly painful way of suicide.

>>14961027
>orange
That's some heretical shit, yo.

Flavor magic can be gathered from natural locales, especially new mountains. Genre magic can only be gathered from the activity of sentients.
Cream energy can be found in hidden or abandoned areas, lemon in rivers or places with lots of life, Vanilla in undisturbed areas, straciatello in the same places shortly after, strawberry in the sites of disasters and the like, and chocolate in massive amounts on new mountains and large natural formations.
This energy manifests as quick-growing plants of the type, which are harvested to take the energy.

>straciatello
What?

Experienced Technomancers gain abilities akin to lemon wizards - they can call upon living and even the dead to assist them in their eternal piligrimages. Some are so skilled, that they can bind their soul to very small and simple casting devices and send their followers equipped with those devices, continuing their piligrimages even after death.

all power is generated by constant lighning storms over the oceans, floaring fields of lighning rods conduct power to Surema for the inhabitants

>>14961219
ok, so let me go in more detail

this island, which i am having a hard time thinking up a name for, is very old. ALL the historians of surema cannot determin where it came from, how old it is exactly, who built the orange-tasting ruins, how it moves, and so on and so forth. Even the earliest records of civilization say that it has always been there.
no magics can be gathered here, but any magic that you bring onto the island increases in strength tenfold.

Funk is the magic of space and time. The strange steps needed to use these spells bend the expectations of viewers, but users commonly wear concealing clothing to hide their exact movements- the Castle of Funk is a cutthroat business where more tricks than a rival may spell life or death.

>>14961491
Zie Troos?

Separately, Whores can bind magic into jewelry and use it to focus power through. Cream users tend to channel their power through large, ornate glasses and their deliberately clunky shoes.