*greater basilisks

So I roll my fort save, and pass (only just make the mark to do so; a greater basilisk gaze is a DC21 to escape), when I get an idea.

"Hey, since I'm a cat, I want to know if I can use the Tapetum in my eyes to reflect its gaze back on it."
"...yeah, that makes sense. It needs to fail a DC14 check though, and that won't hap-"
*ROLLS A 6*
"...you were saying?"

So the second basilisk self-petrifies, and now we need to use our only scroll of stone to flesh in order to bring our cleric back... which isn't too big a deal, since this is what we carry it for. He's a fleshy creature once more, albeit at 1 HP. We rest for another hours with the Monk on watch this time around, and get a full 8 hours without interruption.

The party travels for another 5 or so hours, and we reach the keep. As expected of ancient ruins containing a long-forgotten secret, they're... well, they're in ruins. The only buildings left standing are the ivory tower in the center, and the guard's barracks. We decide to start with the barracks.

Upon entry, we're immediately attacked by two clay golems. It wasn't too difficult, but the Paladin had no magical blunt weaponry, so it went a bit more slowly than we would have liked. We search through the building, and suddenly I was reminded why we had a rogue.

The cleric (slowly becoming the bitch of the campaign) sets off a fireball trap. Everyone but the Monk makes their saves, and I take no damage because of Evasion.

So I spend a few minutes searching for traps, and reveal another fireball trap and a trap which, if activated, would bombard the target with 40+ magic missiles. Using my amulet of mage hand with my disable device skill, I was able to disarm both.

After some more searching, we obtain a key and a journal.

Oh gosh its good to hear from you, but once again the grief of a writer and the time it takes to write. Though, for something like this, I suppose I am going to be sitting here for a couple hours nevertheless- Go on with your bully story, good chap.

The journal was written in a language that most of us didn't know. The Paladin, however, did. She recognized it as some odd blend of Abyssal and Infernal. Before we could ask how she knew those languages, she said "We need to get the fuck out of here. NOW."

Without another word, she left the building, and refused to say another word regarding the journal or the barracks. What the hell ever, we're here for the tower.

The tower is locked, as expected. The key we found only partially unlocked it; it revealed text scribbled all over it. Written on the door in that same strange language as the journal is a series of instructions. The Paladin translates it to 'spill the blood of the freshly dead on this thing to open it'.

The mage casts monster summoning I, and we splatter the resulting Dire Rat all over the thing. It swings open, and... nothing comes out. I check the entrance for traps; nothing. In fact, the interior looks well-kept and clean.

The whole party goes in, and we find exactly what we came for within minutes. But no, it's never that simple; what fun would the adventure be if it was?

A huge figure comes down the spiral staircase in the middle of the tower. Everyone except the Paladin is giving it a raised eyebrow. She, however, falls to the floor in pain.

"The thing extends a finger in the general direction of your group. It's obviously not of this world; it's all bony, and covered in decaying black skin."

So this creature starts ranting to us, while the cleric tries to diagnose and help the Paladin. She isn't hurt; just near-catatonic.

>>15260507
>>catatonic

I see what you did there

Oh lawds, I made a pun at the end of that last post.

Anyways, I slink off, hoping to see if I can find anything of interest around here, and the party keeps going back and forth with this thing. I make a few good move silently and hide checks, so I'm able to get behind it, and get my ass up the spiral staircase.

The second floor isn't quite as tidy as the first. The floor is littered with tomes and scrolls, and when I check for traps, I find that it's COVERED in them.

You remember that one scene from the movie Mouse Hunt, right? Where they place hundreds of mouse traps all over, hoping to get the mouse through the sheer volume of traps? Yeah, it was like that.

Being VERY careful, I manage to cross the room with some good Balance and Jump checks, and get up te stairs to the next floor. HERE is where shit starts getting cool.

In my last thread, you'll remember that some guy suggested that I build a golem that I can fit into and control. I mentioned that in passing to my group, and apparently, the DM thought it was real fuckin' neato.

The floor is devoid of everything save for a table, a furnace, a huge chunk of metal, some tools... and a nigh-perfect set of golem legs, attached to a lower torso. Inside, there's magical straps that adjust to the size and shape of the wearer's legs.

"I get in the golem-suit thing."
"Alright, cool. Roll a UMD check."

And I fucking fail. Not crit-fail, but still, I fail... and this thing goes batshit BONKERS. It tears down the stairs, and starts RUNNING AROUND IN THE ROOM FULL OF HUNDREDS OF TRAPS. WITH EM IN IT. Arrows and fireballs and fingers of death and OH LAWDS BE THAT A MONSTER SUMMONING III begin raining down upon me and this half-complete golem.

*with me in it

I pass the next UMD, and manage to get down to the first floor where everyone but the Paladin is fighting the creature... thing. She's just kind of standing by, looking shell-shocked.

Now, imagine this scene. An armored cat, half-hanging-out of the lower half of a metallic humanoid torso, is running around the first floor of a large tower, being pursued by a trio of dretches and a fiendish wolverine.

So this abomination is casting spells left and right, somehow casting 2 per round, and I'm dashing around the room at 50" in this thing. This gives me an idea.

"I do a flying kick towards the creature."
"That's a -4 to hit, since you're not proficient with this tech you're using."

Roll a 17 to hit, that's good enough. I ask how much damage a kick from this thing does... it's D12 + STR mod x3. FUCK YES. Rolled a 7, got 16. That didn't kill it, but I interrupted its next spell.

Out of the blue, the Paladin snaps, and rapes the thing in the face with her sword. Alright, cool. One down, four to go. I run around the room, firing bolts occasionally, and do enough damage to make this easy for the rest of the party.

http://www.4shared.com/get/k31z-e3o/Bastion_Press_-_Arms__Armor.html

near the end of this is stats for a suit of golem armor. i posted this last time but i'm pretty sure you had left at that point

As it turns out, the Paladin isn't actually an Elf; she's a half-demon, attempting to prove that she can be more than some conniving asshole. That thing was her brother, who she didn't think she'd ever meet. It's exactly what she'd turn into, if she let her demonic side get the better of her.

After the session was over, I found out that the DM and the player had this put together from the start, as not to come off as 'OMG SPESHUL SNOWFLAEK'. She certainly doesn't play that way, so we don't mind.

I take everyone up to the second floor, where I set off almost every single trap...and destroyed many of the texts. Shit. After some more searching, we found a few undamaged books that detailed golem-crafting, dated to four-hundred years ago; approximately when golem-crafting was lost.

We exit the tower, hoping to learn more as we travel back to the region's capital (which had the current magi association's tower in it) and get the book copied. As soon as we leave, though, we realize that this won't happen anytime soon.

There's a group of Fire Giants waiting for us. SIX OF THEM. ALL WIELDING FIRE-GIANT-SIZED GREATSWORDS.

Fuck that shit, we're not ready for that. We scramble back into the tower, and lock the door. This could end as a TPK, if we fuck up.

>you'll remember that some guy suggested that I build a golem that I can fit into and control
awwww yea

Pic related.

i think i found a video of op

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAbmSZ3ewnc

>>15260650
>RUNNING AROUND IN THE ROOM FULL OF HUNDREDS OF TRAPS

>>15260713
>An armored cat, half-hanging-out of the lower half of a metallic humanoid torso, is running around the first floor of a large tower, being pursued by a trio of dretches and a fiendish wolverine.

I admit, that made me laugh.

rolled 43 = 43

lulzy.

Keep going.

i dunno much about dnd, but those are some nice grafics op

Now, I'm still wearing that half-golem, which I had decided to keep. It was handy... but not nearly as handy as the completed golem would be.

We hear a moan, and behind us, the Paladin's brother is still alive... if only barely (hurr DM fiat). We consider killing him right there and then, though he offers us a way out of this mess.

He'll finish the suit, and we let him go.

The banging on the door is all it takes to convince us all that probably-going-to-be-betrayed is better than a slow, roasty death at the hands of fire giants. We agree, and he sets to work on the upper portion of this thing.

After a few hours, we're called up to the third floor. The suit is finished, and instead of a demon, there's a male elf lying on the ground, dying. Turns out that he's only doing this to save his sister, and his final act of good was enough to redeem him. Kinda cheesy, but I can deal with it.

I crawl into the thing again, and the DM tells us that since it's all shiny and new, it gets a 2 hour 'overcharge', meaning that it has 400" movement, 1,000 HP, a +30 BAB, and +40 damage. Shit's going down.

Roll my UMD, succeed. I race down to the first floor, and kick open the door. In fact, it was kicked so hard that they fly off their hinges and brain one of the fire giants, bisecting his skull.

What happens next can only be described as 'abject slaughter on a scale never seen before, and will never be seen again'. The only things left of the giants were some red stains on the ground, and a crumpled (but appropriately giant-sized) piece of parchment.

'They're going to the old wizard's encampment. You know what to do.'

So now it's clear that we won't find peace in this region til the Fire Giant general is dead... and there's no damn way that this is going to be resolved while we're level 7.

FUCK YEAH ADVENTURES OF CAT-ROGUE!

Currently working to archive the thread

So we decide that right then, it would be best to make a beeline for the regional capital, a city named B'rden. We gather up all the remaining materials inthe tower, including a shiny new Helm of Mental Security for the cleric (immunity to domination, charm, the like), and I decide that I want to make the best of my 400" movement.

I pick up the party, and run straight towards B'rden. As soon as we reach that 2 hour mark, though, the suit disappears. Completely. It just fucking vanishes, and we all drop to the ground, taking 2 damage in the process.

"It can be summoned once per week, for 12 hours at a time. This time, it was only 2, since it was new."

The ring that lets me do that appeared on my tail. Once per week, huh? I can make that work.

Now, at 400" move, we got about a day and a half of traveling done in just about an hour, which is awesome. The capital is under three days north of us.

What isn't awesome is that the most direct route runs directly through a tundra that, for all intensive purposes, should not exist. It's about a thousand square miles of PAIN. (not 1,000 miles through; just 1,000 square miles in all. It's about 30 miles to actually trek through it).

That'll be for next time, /tg/.

>>15261086

>30 miles to trek through

That's like a day of solid walking. You guys have got that.

Alright, thread has been archived.

I love you cat rogue.

>>15261127

With this DM, it's never as simple as 'GO THROUGH 30 MILES OF HAZARDOUS TERRAIN AND FIGHT SOMETHING ON THE WAY HURR DURR'.

There's going to be a TWEEST.

>>15261157
Clearly your DM is into twists, he turned you into a fucking housecat.

So you are a super stealthy House Cat with the skills of a top notch assassin and the ability to summon and pilot a golem? Truly you are the greatest cat.

drawfags need to get in on this shit

>>15261190

He's pretty boss for a housecat.

And the DM thought he'd just reroll. Ha!

>mfw this thread

What do you look like OP? I mean... what breed of cat are you? I keep imagining you as the cat in your opening post.

>>15261288

Keep imagining it like that. That's how *I* imagine I look in-game.

>>15261304

>>15261086
>intensive purposes
It's like I'm really on /v/.

I think I'm in love.

What kind of cute cat armor do you have OP?

>>15261343

We just call it cat-mail. It's made of leather and chainmail, and acts as a +2 chain shirt for protective purposes. It also has a Freedom of Movement enchantment on it.

So OP, I'm assuming you figured out some way around the communication problem; did you get the DM to just let you speak or what?

>>15261406

I can speak, though not too much. I was never a wordy person, so this isn't really an issue.

>>15261422

What're you doing for weapons, then? Claws n' teeth, or the back crossbow?

>>15261503

He uses the back crossbow with his tail or the amulet of mage hand

>http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html

Vote it up people!

>>15261503

Repeating Light Crossbow on my back, reloaded by an Amulet of Mage Hand.

I also get bitchin' sneak attack rolls.

Cats can fall from any height and survive because the terminal velocity they achieve is usually not enough for a fatal impact. Now since you are wearing all that gear I don't think that would apply anymore. But you could get an item with +to jump and feather fall and become the skydiving roguecat of doom. I think "flat footed" definitely includes having a cat silently drop on you from hundreds of feet up

Also, how exactly are you wearing those rings? If you don't keep your tail puffed up like a bottle brush they would simply fall off. But at the same time I'm imagining this weird sausage link look where the rings mat the fur down and give your tail a sectioned look.

And weren't there rules about wearing too many rings at once? you might be able to wear one as a bracelet/anklet.