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    51 KB I had to destroy them all / General Derail Storytime Peg-Leg Dave 07/04/11(Mon)21:58 No.15476554  
    In the end, it was all my fault.

    Let me back up a minute and tell you my story, the story of this nonsense I found myself involved in. Two years ago, roughly, I arrived in town fresh as spring, turning a new page in my life. In my brief time on this planet, I have seen war, death, love, lust, destruction, chaos, a half a dozen good games of poker (in my favor), depression, being stoned, and enough rollercoaster highs and lows to make me feel old. I know, here he is, Internet tough guy complaining about that hand life gave him. This isn't one of those stories, nor is it an attempt for me to buy my forgiveness in your eyes. I just had to introduce myself.

    Me, the Asshole.

    Two years ago I was invited to join a creative writing group at the local university, mainly I had tried my hand at jotting down a few war stories and shared them in a creative writing class. The stories were hum-drum as they were a ninety five percent description of boredom with five percent chaos thrown in. Then again, people do pay more attention to a war story, even fictional, when you're missing your left leg from the knee mid-thigh down. It tends to stand out. So, I was invited to this creative writing group and they were friendly enough for a time. After a while they invited me to help on their 'collaborative project'.
    >> Peg-Leg Dave 07/04/11(Mon)21:58 No.15476559
    Their 'collaborative project' was a science fiction world that more or less was people all trying to bodge together a setting with very different ideas. Naturally they sorted things out by each person writing a faction. Fine enough, right? Well, I ask where I would come in handy. They said I could be their 'gun guy', and I admit, I knew a thing or two about the tools of the job as it were, but I'm not encyclopedia aspergers. I don't know jack about guns I didn't use, I don't read gun magazines and periodicals, I don't really know too terribly much other than being able to point and say "that's a Garand, it shoots 30-06". Call me uncultured, but these people thought I was the solution to their problem, right?

    "Design us a military" was the task. I really don't know a lot about military history so I ask my friend, a guy who worked the other side of the fence for a time, concerning military history (something he has a degree in). He helped me, but asked about the project. I told him. He asked why, if it's a science fiction setting, there aren't rail-guns, lasers or what-have you. He explained that, in the case of it being a closer-to-now setting, there would probably still be guns that went bang, though with 'caseless ammunition perhaps'. I looked a few things up, I borrowed a few books, I set in to dig on the subject.
    >> Peg-Leg Dave 07/04/11(Mon)22:00 No.15476574
    When I showed up with my books I was told that I was a "real go getter" and I was invited, without them even glancing at my work, to their 'weekly RP session'. I thought 'jackpot' because damned if I wasn't missing the good old days. Shadowrun was my thing, as was Traveler, and sure, I love 40k and other universes. I missed sitting around once a week, drinking a beer, eating pizza, having a good time. This would help me adjust back to my happy place. Right?

    Well, I show up to the place I'm told, an apartment just off campus. The group greets me rather coldly, as though somewhat off-put by my showing up. They ask "Where's your computer?" I don't quite get it. The leader, this chick built like Grimace from Mcdonalds then says "nevermind, nevermind, I think we can use this week to catch you up on the story." Alright, I can do that. Still, I'm thinking of why I'd need to bring a computer.

    So here's the story, as far as I remember. There's a shitload to it. I'll gist it down to bare bones so you call can make comments or pick it apart for what it is:

    Setting: 'HARD' science fiction. (The comment was made that it was rock-hard, hard-core, and that FANTASY was bullshit, belonging to 'bearded old fucks who wrote about wizards' )

    Year: 3701
    >> Peg-Leg Dave 07/04/11(Mon)22:01 No.15476580
    Mankind has inhabited the solar system, or 'SOL' and that's it. There are no jump drives, no FTL, nothing. The colonies are all at the Lagrange points, or in the 'belt' and each player had their own faction, which they take turns standing up and lecturing me on. I am encouraged to "sit comfortably" while they eye my stump. In their defense, I was wearing shorts and the fucker doesn't look exactly mickey mouse.

    Faction A - Lady stands up, lady is about four foot nine, lady was once, I believe, a guy. Adams apple or the remains thereof is present. If not, ugly woman. She's wearing a tank top and welder's gloves and had dreadlocks. She is wearing long camo pants with flecktarn-pattern camouflage. She has boots several sizes too big and looks like she took a rivet gun to her face. "Sup" she says by way of introduction. She tells me about the belt. The belt is a big, huge confederacy of awesome people the best and the brightest, who all work together in a 'post scarcity society', in which there is no need, or hunger, no disease they can't cure, and people live to about 200, there are plenty of cybernetics that are wonderful and life-like and there is no money. The phrase "Post Scarcity society" is thrown around plenty, but I don't get it. I ask how they achieved that and what it means. She scowls and says that I wouldn't understand, she's a poli-sci major. Fine enough, grunt knows when to be quiet. So, she keeps talking about cybernetics in a way that might make me want to 'join her faction', though she says things like "if you join them you'd get free healthcare, to include access to full limb replacement". Like I'm going to make a character that's a gimp.

    She then sits down.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)22:01 No.15476583
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    >> Peg-Leg Dave 07/04/11(Mon)22:02 No.15476589
    Faction B - Grimace stands up, she's part of the Martian Faction. Her character is described as a 'wise and ruthless dictator of the martian armies', and is 'presidente for life' and 'took total control of Mars by being the smartest person of mars'. She spent twenty minutes describing her character's features. Beautiful, long, violet hair, full, voluptious figure, IQ off the charts. Basically, everything grimace didn't have. I mean, the lady was a washing-ton spending her spare time creating a boring dictatorship. Fine. She describes her people as living in lush, tropical jungles now that Mars is terraformed, and that their lifespan is easily five or six times ours due to advanced medicine. I nodded, I pretended to take notes.

    Faction C - The Moon. I was fucking stoked, I am a huge fan of Heinlein's 'The moon is a harsh Mistress' and I figure this guy has the free-market no holds barred lunar paradise, right? Nope. The 'Moon people' are governed by a 'wise council of philosophers' who are attempting to build a giant telescope to eavesdrop on mars. For espionage reasons. That's it.

    Okay, so I'm sitting here wondering where I come in, they said I could 'have earth' because it is a 'backwater in need of some love'. So I begin to ask my questions.
    >> Peg-Leg Dave 07/04/11(Mon)22:02 No.15476594
    1 - What is the political situation
    Answer - They're all strictly isolationist with zero contact with each other as constant commerce via rockets would be 'HIGHLY UNLIKELY"

    2 - Why haven't any of the factions made moves to develop FTL, or unify the factions, or develop 'laser guns' or 'phasers' or whatever have you in order to move the setting along?
    Answer - "ALL OF THOSE THINGS ARE IMPOSSIBLE. This is a HARD CORE setting."

    3 - How has humanity survived for as long as it has with limited technology. I mean, the Martian lady said Mars was Terraformed, and that her people lived 'virtually forever', what stopped progress?


    Okay, so you get where these people are going, right? I start to feel out of place and rather awkward. I can't leg it because I'm missing most of one so I end up sitting around and listening to them talk about future plans, which include "building more satellites" and their characters which are all beautiful, intelligent, and invincible. At this point, I take the time to ask them why Earth is a backwater? Grimace smirks and says "It's all tapped out, mined out, polluted to shit." I said "Well, uh, if this setting is hard-core then nature would gladly take over once humanity stopped dicking around with the biosphere, right? Might take a century or two but . . things should equalize, shouldn't they?" They didn't know so they assumed that No, after everyone left in the 22nd century's "Space Race" and that 95 percent of the people on the planet died from . . disease or somesuch, the rest of earth is made up of microstates trying to eke out survival.

    So I get earth. Great. Nice. Fine. If I'm inheriting a destroyed, industrial wasteland I'm going Baron Harkonnen on their asses.
    >> Peg-Leg Dave 07/04/11(Mon)22:03 No.15476597
    I ask them what setting we use for our ruleset.

    They scoff and say "that's why you need to bring a computer".

    So I do next time, my cheap ass netbook. I assemble what firearms and military info I can from my PMC buddy, I tell him about the group and he laughs. It's a decent enough week and soon enough I'm before them all ready to go.

    "So, uh, what now" I ask.

    They all tell me how to get on their wireless and then proceed to log into an online RP chat room. I log in as well. And damn if there aren't more of them. We all log in and grimace, apparently, has this picture that's well, pure sex. Lot of guys fawning over her online and immediately she's fending off a wave of private messages. So, she as the rule-master says "okay, play" and begins the frantic typing.

    They wasted my time and were less than pleasant. Alright, I can play this game. Time to shine. I begin by trying my best in narrative format to describe the rise of a new religion growing out of the industrial decay in what was once the American Midwest. These rust-belt preachers speak in a fiery oratory concerning the fate of humanity, that the reason the machines no longer function is due to their spirits having been offended. They say that while the machines turn idle, humanity withers, and that those who stole the machines to 'escape to space' are truly the worst of the blasphemers, abusing the machine for their own personal gain. This cult begins to spread, slowly, as desperate people have nothing to hang on to. The last of the brain-trusts on earth get on board with this new cult, giving themselves titles like "Arch-Magos" and similar. Soon, earth has renewed focus, and a drive, which scares the rules-lady but she says "well, welcome to the group I guess."
    >> Peg-Leg Dave 07/04/11(Mon)22:04 No.15476601
    See, she made this whole group to basically be the center of attention, sit in a chat room, idle, all day, and be OOC, out of character, just chatting, making the same old tired "cake is a lie" jokes, 'glomping' and going 'squee' at people when they came on. She never played. There were a lot of people that wanted to play in an established sci-fi group so I invited them to join my faction, Deus-ex-Machina. Original? No, but it was enough for me to have some fun at least. A bunch of people started joining though, two or three a day, and soon the other factions of 'idealistic space communities' were empty save for what NPCs the group could wrangle. The cult of the machine was preparing for war, and we had many technologies on our side. I explained that we made fuel by harnessing biomass into diesel, and that we got what metal we needed from recycling existing structures, grabbing crap from near-earth-orbit and trading with a few nearby colonies.

    It all was going fine, we started a few expeditions into the belt, we harvested asteroids, we were expanding and spreading our message. Then one day, I found out I was banned. Reason given, "Subversive behavior." My 'people' though acted as though I had died as a leader, and launched a crusade in my honor. She banned 99% of the group in a few days before shutting it down, calling us all 'mindless fascists' and sulking somewhere else.

    Not a great ending, but that's the story I wanted to share.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)22:04 No.15476605
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    >"if you join them you'd get free healthcare, to include access to full limb replacement".

    The fuck?
    >> Icarael !!Nj0pUHsEHGI 07/04/11(Mon)22:08 No.15476642

    Nice tale, Anon. Reminds me a bit of Alphonse Kapown and his steampunk magnificence.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)22:09 No.15476652
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    >My 'people' though acted as though I had died as a leader, and launched a crusade in my honor.

    You did something beautiful here, Dave.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)22:10 No.15476660
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    >She banned 99% of the group in a few days before shutting it down, calling us all 'mindless fascists' and sulking somewhere else.

    So as soon as someone usurps her rightful place as the center of fawning attention, she throws a hissyfit and shuts down the entire game.

    Jesus christ, that's terrible.
    >> Captain Baha 07/04/11(Mon)22:11 No.15476673
    Well done Dave.
    I don't typically agree with people who derail, but this story makes me believe you're a good RPer.
    Congratulations on pissing off a hard sci-fi group.
    >> Peg-Leg Dave 07/04/11(Mon)22:13 No.15476689
    Thanks. I laughed myself stupid at the outcome. I just figured I'd wonder off someplace else and nothing would happen, but when you get people angry and get them unified, shit man. Feels good though. I realize at this juncture I did leave some bits out. There were . . other people that were awkward as well.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)22:14 No.15476702
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    >If I'm inheriting a destroyed, industrial wasteland I'm going Baron Harkonnen on their asses.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)22:17 No.15476719
    I'd buy you a drink, pal, but I dunno where your nearest bar is.
    >> Peg-Leg Dave 07/04/11(Mon)22:17 No.15476728
    I don't drink, but thanks for the offer. I live a very, very boring life.
    >> Peg-Leg Dave 07/04/11(Mon)22:20 No.15476751
    Not sure if it's beautiful, but it sure as fuck is gratifying. It really spoiled the whole thing for the group. I've since gotten a few sternly worded emails from the people in charge of the various factions, saying that I shat on something beautiful. I told them to mature a bit more before calling something like that truly beautiful.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)22:22 No.15476767
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    >Machine spirits up in this motherfucker!
    >> Icarael !!Nj0pUHsEHGI 07/04/11(Mon)22:22 No.15476769
    So, sir, where is this RP? I think it's time we took up the torch of the Machine God ourselves.

    Or, you know, we could find an RP where we can propagate the Cult of the Machine.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)22:23 No.15476778
    I think if we did that we'd get kicked out super-fast.
    >> Peg-Leg Dave 07/04/11(Mon)22:23 No.15476783
    'Twas on a chat-board basically. And there, well, it's not worth our time anymore I don't think. Those people got the message, all that's left are furries and 'futanari', whatever the hell those are.

    Not keen on finding out.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)22:24 No.15476785
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    > I can't leg it because I'm missing most of one

    I have no pictures of fistbumps, so here's a picture of a kitten.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)22:25 No.15476791
    Can we create a fictitious religion based on the 40k universe that worships Machine Spirits and "convert" the university? It sounds like a fun weekend project. I also want a photograph of that girl's reaction.
    >> Enginseer Kirk 07/04/11(Mon)22:27 No.15476803
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    First off, I want to thank you for the story Dave, you did something with the potential to be incredibly awesome.
    Second, I'd like to throw the ol' /tg/ an interrogant.

    What the hell kind of circumstances during the development period can, could or are responsible for the creation of beings such as tha fat fucking whore that ruined what was going to be awesome?

    Hell, even simpler
    how are THAT __ (guys, dm's, players, girlfriends, boyfrients) EVEN FORMED?

    And also Dave, and I'm sorry if this has been answered or if I come off as a dick, but how did you lose that part of your leg?
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)22:28 No.15476808
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    >not keen
    Dick girls.

    Also, way to go. You're awesome.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)22:30 No.15476822


    You should have shoved her out the window then and there.
    >> Peg-Leg Dave 07/04/11(Mon)22:32 No.15476843
    To be honest, upon re-reading my yarn here it appears I gave you all the half-dime version of what possible could have been a full dimer. Let's see, this is all errata and out of context but hey, it's more of that failed group.

    See, there was this other girl in high regard. She always made 'awesome' characters with 'deep, fully developed plot' and by that I mean "thirty to fifty pages' of just boring bullshit wherein she was ace-this and combat-master that and brightest-this and married that dude, stole that treasure, whichever. The best, at everything, center of attention, flawless, master progreammer, hacker, gunsmith, gunslinger, swordsmith, swordmaster, you name it the lady has a degree in it. And she backs it all up with a PH.D in wikipedia.

    Now, that's all fine and such but she then starts telling these stories about how she had a 'tough time' 'over there'. Now, she's a 'female marine' or as she calls it, a "Woman Marine" as is the appropriate term. We called WM's "walking Mattresses" because, well, they fuck pretty much anything they can. All the time. And most of them are so ugly that you'd rather jam your dick into a hole in the ground than spend five minutes in their personal space. Pardon' the language, but they are some skanky ass women.

    Now, she starts going on and on about how she's a combat-killer with a tour of duty and all of these confirmed battles and has these medals and somesuch, so I get curious and ask her MoS, only to find she's a commo geek. Now, I don't know if you all are aware, but Commo personnel are the last people they generally send out into the field, at least the female ones. If she spent any time, it was patting down the local brown people we're at war with, so we don't affront the menfolk any further.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)22:33 No.15476850
    I'd say that you are not in the wrong, if you continued the RP with those people you got onboard. But if you did it only to fuck with the others, then what is the point?

    People liked you and wanted to involve you in something they had made. And you fucked it up because it didn't meet your standards.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)22:34 No.15476857
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    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)22:34 No.15476866
    Heh. This reminds me of a short lived play-by-post game I was in. Not as good of a story as OP's but I'll tell it anyway.

    We were playing in some game where we were space aliens negotiating over whether or not to blow up the planet. The planet being earth. I decide, going in that I'm going to play a race of evolved machines dedicated to science, and the doing of it.

    I also decide, before going in that I want the earth to stick around so I can get samples. I won't bore you with who I was debating with, because apart from the race that could only reproduce with wisps that live on an asteroid, I don't remember them.

    That race'll come up in a second. See everyone other than me decides humanity is right now too big of a threat and they need to blow it up.

    Moving on apparently some space empire's captured the asteroid with the stupid wisps on it.

    Then some other guy's race blows up the guard ship on the wisps in a way that the space empire doesn't notice it, no don't ask me how that works.

    At that point I end the thread by explaining that it's a poor idea to announce something like that to a race with a built in quantum network, a diplomat with the empire. The last line, if I recall correctly was.
    "Now. About those samples."
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)22:35 No.15476876
    I don't see what he did wrong. He put his own spin on something they invited him to. Instead of going with what was expected, he did something creative and innovative only to be shut down by an attention craving cock slut.
    >> Peg-Leg Dave 07/04/11(Mon)22:37 No.15476887
    Now, I basically mind my own business for most of the time and the internet being the internet, there are a lot of people who claim to be X, Y and Z to do what they can to get internet sex. That's sad in my book, but hey, to each their own. I try not to judge.

    However, trying to act billy badass because you were a commo geek in the marines, spent a few weeks in a green-zone before going back to being a desk-mounted baby maker, that makes me mad. See, my fellow denizens of /tg/, my story isn't special. I drove a truck, and when they didn't have a truck for me to drive, I was given a rifle and told to go march around with some other dudes for a while, dig through people's houses and belongings and such to find bad crap, and then take it from them. It was boring, it was hot and boring and then there was an IED and I got myself a discharge. Shit happens, but I won't act like I was infantry or a killing machine.

    She was letting on she was all sorts of a war hero. Now, I had enough plainly and told her that people like my friend, the PMC, are the nasty folks that make the world go round. The world is their playground, they have the best equipment, they hurt people for money, and they do a damn fine job of it. In fact, if we did our jobs better they would probably be out of business, but the military is so inept these days that we hire out for specialists. I kind of let this lady have both barrels in front of everyone because hey, nothing like having an internet argument in full force, right? My life is sad as can be.

    So she then starts trying to come on to me. She had some nudes but believe me, they weren't worth sharing. She was a nasty ass lady playing on the internet and trying to get the pissed-as-hell trucker off her case for being a lying sack of shit. God, these people. Sorry, I rambled a bit didn't I?
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)22:37 No.15476890
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    Unfortunately, my dear fellow, for as long as there have been human minds there have been diseases afflicting those minds. Personality disorders of the Cluster B variety, when combined with the poor social skills that come with the autism spectrum, can kill the most promising of games.

    But while Dave's story both grieves and enrages me, it has enkindled in me an interest in text-based online roleplaying science fiction games. A /tg/-related game would certainly provide many hours of hilarity and wonder, if it were properly cleansed and balanced, of course.
    >> Peg-Leg Dave 07/04/11(Mon)22:39 No.15476897
    TL:DR, some guy grabbed one of our munitions that didn't go off, a Mortar they think, and wired it to blow up. Then It blew up.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)22:40 No.15476910

    If I had the scratch available, and if I actually -knew- you Dave, I would purchase you a bionic leg, if only for having that shit-happens ideology.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)22:41 No.15476917
    It's pretty obvious he didn't like these people. And went and hung out anyway. He just mad his leg got blown off.
    >> Captain Baha 07/04/11(Mon)22:42 No.15476923
    I'll be honest, I feel kinda bad for you. What with the whole putting up with a group that bad.
    But at least you had fun.
    >> Peg-Leg Dave 07/04/11(Mon)22:43 No.15476930
    Well thanks, but I've adjusted. I get the best parking there is, matter of fact.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)22:47 No.15476963

    It's pretty obvious that you should fuck right off. Dave did these people a favor by driving a stake through their shitty "hard sci-fi" circlejerk.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)22:54 No.15477003
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    I like this
    >> Peg-Leg Dave 07/04/11(Mon)22:55 No.15477009
    let's see, there were a few others that were remarkably bad in their own ways.

    Oh, there was one group that claimed Europa and were fighting a submarine campaign against monsters of the briny deep, which sounded completely badass. I mean, U-boats vs alien monsters in deep space. However, that person later had a change of heart and scrapped the submarine concept for:

    'The Outbound Moon Magistrates" who had terraformed all of the moons of Jupiter into western deserts and on them were famous gunslingers and bounty hunters. His avatar was 'vash the stampede' and he used "Dual .454 Casull Revolvers with speedloaders going about them in wide circles so you can keep shooting for practically forever". Apparently he was the boss of this . . outlander thing.

    Oh, and there was a lady who claimed pluto, hollowed it out ( which was pointed out, to be "EASIER THAN LASERS"), a mining feat accomplished in only 20 years. I suppose I should have said it was a 'he/she' because it was a timid, thin, feminine dude that turned into a woman when aroused. That's what his profile said right below political information concerning the hollow pluto.

    Man, I am surprised I am not a drinking man every time I think of this group.
    >> Peg-Leg Dave 07/04/11(Mon)22:57 No.15477029
    There was one part of Earth I couldn't have. This kid claimed Japan, which apparently had all of this rare sword-making material which was then used to make one, repeat, one Katana that could "Cut the moon in half" and was 20 feet long. He was the leader of the rp's main beaux for the time I was involved. He auto-killed quite a few of my war-machines by using ancient 'sword-kata' or somesuch. Not sure how you can knock over a 200 ton quadruped that's basically guns and crazy religious folk but hey, it was his thing. Robots were bad, he reasoned. Because guns were 'dishonorable'
    >> Icarael !!Nj0pUHsEHGI 07/04/11(Mon)22:59 No.15477044
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    >Oh, there was one group that claimed Europa and were fighting a submarine campaign against monsters of the briny deep

    >However, that person later had a change of heart and scrapped the submarine concept for: 'The Outbound Moon Magistrates" who had terraformed all of the moons of Jupiter into western deserts and on them were famous gunslingers and bounty hunters.
    Okay, not as awesome, but still pretty cool, a la Firefly/Sere-

    >His avatar was 'vash the stampede' and he used "Dual .454 Casull Revolvers with speedloaders going about them in wide circles so you can keep shooting for practically forever". Apparently he was the boss of this . . outlander thing.
    Okay, fuck him.

    That sucks. I was hoping /tg/'d build a universe together.

    And then tear it apart in a series of senseless wars.

    Pic related, this is my idea of how OP's machine cult looked like.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)23:00 No.15477048

    Bro, you should have left as soon as you saw the first chat. I'm serious. No amount of alcohol - literally, no amount - could possibly make that sort of society tolerable.
    >> Enginseer Kirk 07/04/11(Mon)23:00 No.15477051
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    To be perfectly honest, I can't abide that kind of people, and I don't blame him for leaving OR trying to insert a little bit of GAME into their egofaps.
    Personality disorder or no, when you're 6 feet tall, have a blackbeard and blackbrows to make edward teach green with envy, wear a leather jacket and ragged, old jeans, +one very hard to cultivate "walk softly and carry a big fuckyou" attitudes (only a facade, I'm actually too much of a niceguy), them type B's get put right in their place in my games. That is, right out.

    I don't know Dave personally, hell I don't even know if that's his name, but for dudes that go through shit while remaining sane and not getting bitter at the world for it, I'd be happy to stand up and bite the bullet.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)23:01 No.15477058
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    >I rambled a bit didn't I?
    buddy, this shit deserves to be archived.

    pic related, though that goes for the whole setting.
    >> Peg-Leg Dave 07/04/11(Mon)23:01 No.15477060
    Come to think of it, the fellow made this mech thing later on called a "knightmare" that zipped about on rollerskates to fight me. Not sure where he got the idea, but I tried to inform him that industrial wastelands were pretty poor fighting ground for inline skates. He just somewhat ignored that. When my people developed thermonuclear weaponry we cleaned that continent of its backward people, blasphemers against the Machine. This was about when the 'troubles' began really. See, I made the suggestion to nuke the place as a joke, my twenty or so odd followers thought that 'suggestion' meant 'divine order from the Arch-Magos'. Then all hell broke loose. Bans and nukes flying everywhere. I think at one point one crazy fuck did the math to crack the moon apart using a mass driver located in our holdings in the asteroid belt, throwing asteroids repeatedly at the same point. Fun, but chaos near the end.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)23:04 No.15477086
    >Not sure where he got the idea

    Stolen directly from Code Geass, a mecha anime.
    >> Enginseer Kirk 07/04/11(Mon)23:08 No.15477098
    Oh, and the other dude, with the revolvers with speedloaders around? That's from a vidyagame.
    A very silly vidyagame smart enough to not take itself seriously.
    unlike some people
    >> Icarael !!Nj0pUHsEHGI 07/04/11(Mon)23:08 No.15477099
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    >the fellow made this mech thing later on called a "knightmare" that zipped about on rollerskates to fight me.
    Oh great, now he's ripping off Code Geass too.

    >I think at one point one crazy fuck did the math to crack the moon apart using a mass driver located in our holdings in the asteroid belt, throwing asteroids repeatedly at the same point.
    >> Peg-Leg Dave 07/04/11(Mon)23:10 No.15477109
    So somebody thought that was a good idea? Well, fuck that. And surely somebody else has a good story or two? I need to jet for a half hour or so.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)23:11 No.15477117
    How the fuck is that HARD Sci-Fi?
    >> Peg-Leg Dave 07/04/11(Mon)23:13 No.15477146
    Hard to take, basically. Hence, the simplest answer is Nuclear Fire. Gotta be certain you get all the weird fucks that think like that, right? Can't have any affronts to the machine got now can we?
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)23:15 No.15477162
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    This is a Knightmare. The way it's built, it shouldn't be able to use the wheels in any useful capacity, but realism is not very important to its design. It is, after all, a mech.
    >> Icarael !!Nj0pUHsEHGI 07/04/11(Mon)23:16 No.15477166
    I've never derailed an RP I was in.

    Then again, I'm too chicken to try to get banned or shit.

    But now that this is here, I feel... rebellious. I just need to find a place to put that rebellion to good use.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)23:18 No.15477193
    I'm glad I've never had to deal with this sort of crap in my games, but damn if it doesn't make great stories.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)23:19 No.15477198
    Try Gaia.
    >> Enginseer Kirk 07/04/11(Mon)23:19 No.15477202
    Afraid the only story I can think off right now is that one time where at a party my english teacher who is like 5'2, vanilla white, lawful good, crooked teeth and an evil-lookin pair of eyebrows disfigured 8 dudes in self defense using steven-seagal-FU (aikido) in the space of a minute, but without booze and my tone of voice is not nearly as fun.

    BUT, I just gave you a cool random encounter so that's that.

    Good night Dave. I'm beat.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)23:23 No.15477242
    I could give you guys all a heroic story of one lone RP'r fighting for his sanity against a group of furries, weeaboos, aspies, and a raging feminazi GM. It involves sacrifice, character development, loss and redemption.

    But it's all bullshit I made up in my mind using what I've learned from similar threads. I've never played a P&P game in my life.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)23:27 No.15477280

    Even if Dave made all this shit up for our amusement it's still better than half the threads on /tg/ at any given time.
    >> Icarael !!Nj0pUHsEHGI 07/04/11(Mon)23:37 No.15477357
    I've never seen Gaia's RP section. Is it that bad?

    Anyway, I've got some experience with this stuff, and I can empathize with the guys who get shit luck with RPs. I've played in two PBP places before (and still do now): one on Gendou.com and one on TVTropes.

    TVTropes' PBP section is... actually pretty good. There's a conspicuous lack of weeaboos and copycat sues. A lot of crossover RPs, though (and I'm guilty of being in two).

    Case in point: I tried to join a game where we were all mages in an alternate 18th century, and one guy made a thaumaturge (basically, divine magic user) who was themed around locks, keys and gates while another made a surgeon-witch. Too bad applications closed before I could complete my profile: my character's shtick was centered around using the right hand to call on God's Mercy, and the left to wield God's Judgment. So he'd shield others with a gesture of his right hand, and smash the bad guys with THE FIST OF AN ANGRY GOD on the left.

    Gendou's RP section is... okay. There are a few crap players (like one who insists on using existing character's names from animu for ALL his characters) but there are also total bros (like the guy who once ran a Valkyria Chronicles RP and was pretty good at it).
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)23:38 No.15477366
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    I'd like to say, Peg-Leg Dave, that your story is awesome. You sound like an awesome guy who has had shit happen to him, and is still an awesome guy.

    You sound like you stumbled upon a den of depraved iniquity, and decided that instead of turning your back upon it, like a normal, sane person might, you decided you would make it AWESOME. You then proceeded to do exactly that.

    You sir, are awesome. Please, remember this. You. Are. Pretty. Fuckin'. Awesome.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)23:39 No.15477368
    >Gaia's RP section

    Imagine the general maturity and intelligence of your average Gaia user. Now imagine that, given free reign to create whatever fantastical worlds or creatures and avatars they want. And there's never going to be any moderation because they think that guiding people away from a billion colored sword is fascism.
    >> Icarael !!Nj0pUHsEHGI 07/04/11(Mon)23:43 No.15477400
    As bad as that. I thought as much.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)23:48 No.15477433
    See... here's the odd thing. I hung out on Gaia for a while, as well as on WoW's RP servers. Sure, there was lots of shitty RP all around, but I never had to look for more than maybe half an hour before I could find something on Gaia, and never more than a few hours on WoW (which I spent questing, etc. GOD, that game is addictive).
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)23:49 No.15477444
    I was actually spoiled pretty much by the first freeform RP I participated in. It was a superhero-themed game, and while there were quite a few Mary-Sues at first, they quickly got weeded out by the mods and the rest of the regular players, who were all pretty chill and didn't mind their characters getting their asses kicked as long as it was a cool-looking fight.

    Sadly, it only lasted for about a month or two before everyone went in different directions and the game just died.
    >> Anonymous 07/04/11(Mon)23:54 No.15477485
    Very cool story, but a bit disappointing at the end: I was excepted them to be really and truly trolled, but it was just "I got banned". Oh well, they still got annoyed in the end.

    I wouldn't say you derailed the setting: you just played with what you were given, and they weren't prepared for that. That stupidity, and their reaction to the issue, makes them deserve it imo.

    Got any more stories about specific people in the group? Could you say a bit more about what happened after you left?
    >> Peg-Leg Dave 07/05/11(Tue)00:17 No.15477625

    I'm really not much of a storyteller. I just wrote up what I remembered then copy-pasted so if anyone found it interesting they could catch on as they wanted.

    Let's see...

    I remember that the group kind of fell apart. Seems like they all had some sort of idea that they were going to publish this setting as an RPG book on this one lady's website (grimace shaped lady). She kept saying that in her line of study, something like 'getting published' as more or less old hat compared to her 'real work'. There was, a serious to god legal attempt between a few of the folks concerning who had rights to what. Someone paid some ambulance chaser to run off a boilerplate copy of a 'cease and desist' against another person, who in turn got a paralegal friend to threaten the lawyer. It was all pathetic really. The "miss combat GI-hoe" lady followed me for a bit but I refused to play a feminine man who turned into a woman, which was apparently what she liked. I told her that was called 'being a lesbian', to which she responded I was a cruel and subhuman bastard for even calling her such awful things.

    Guess I am ignorant in the way the world turns, but heck, it was some fun shenanigans.
    >> Peg-Leg Dave 07/05/11(Tue)00:20 No.15477656
    If you all are inclined, I might return tomorrow with another story or two. I've had misadventures since but never with a group quite that bad. You see, I am an absolutely terrible judge of character than I really do not know when to quit.
    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)00:22 No.15477667
    Please do so.
    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)00:26 No.15477698
    We will await. I said it before, but you are seriously pretty damn awesome, and pretty damn awesome with words too. Fun to read. If you've got more like this, we'd love to hear it.
    >> Peg-Leg Dave 07/05/11(Tue)00:26 No.15477699
    Then I shall attempt to do so sometime tomorrow around the same time I suppose. I got involved in a rather bad D&D game once, which just continued to get more obtuse as it went on. Then there was a Dark heresy game that got out of hand, and my friend I told you about was there for both. It was a very, very interesting series of adventures that went on for far, far too long.
    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)00:34 No.15477758
    Could you by any chance archive that potential thread or 1d4chan it or what not. You got at least me interested, but European time zones is a bitch, and I wouldn't want to miss it. You have a way with words and awesomeness.
    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)00:39 No.15477798

    By either method, it should be tagged or named as "Peg-Leg Dave ____" for easy reference.
    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)00:40 No.15477802
    How would one achieve this?
    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)00:46 No.15477838
    Head over to the wonderful place known as sup/tg/. Go to archives, find the button that says 'request interface'.

    Copy the thread number from the url (the one that identifies this thread from all the rest on /tg/.) Add description, tags, and title where requested. And that's about it.
    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)00:49 No.15477848
    have already done so, bro
    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)00:51 No.15477866

    I am glad we finally have someone to replace Wasteland Warrior, I haven't seen him in a while. Maybe he died of alcohol poisoning?
    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)00:52 No.15477879
    What you've described there my good sir is not ruination, it's salvation.

    You freed those who would otherwise remain trapped there and showed them a better existence, allowing them to spread their wings and fly far afield to spread these teachings well.

    You also gave a litorical bitchslap to someone who needed it.

    Well done.
    >> Peg-Leg Dave Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)01:07 No.15477971
    Well, I thank you all for your very, very kind words. Tomorrow I think I shall tell of how my friend Tex and I ruined a kingdom, on purpose, because the game was at best a disappointment, and at worst some sort of awful fetish fuel.

    It'll be a long one, but I must sleep. A full day tomorrow. All of you gentlemen have a pleasant evening, sleep well, keep your friends safe, and don't drink too much. It'll hurt all the more tomorrow.

    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)01:08 No.15477980
    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)03:14 No.15478843
    >this setting

    Am I the only one who finds this to have some awesome fucking potential?

    Granted, it has flaws (the other factions mostly), but just taking those and continuing the universe sounds great.

    Basically taking the planets and making them livable (through whatever means) and going from there.

    I'm picturing life on Mercury that only lives in the twilight zone (between the freezing dark half, and scalding light half) by either having mobile cities that follow the rotation of the planet to keep safe, or by using nukes (lolscience) to halt the rotation so the twilight is stationary.
    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)03:19 No.15478873
    Isn't Mercury already tidally locked?
    >> Captain Baha 07/05/11(Tue)03:22 No.15478893
    I think the hollowed out planets might have some great potential.
    That and the U-Boats fighting underwater monsters. Now THAT would be something worth doing.
    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)03:22 No.15478902

    Not sure honestly.


    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)03:23 No.15478907
    A deep sea monster fighting game would be amazing, although the game mechanics would probably be hell.
    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)03:28 No.15478939
    This is why Atomic Rocket is a bad page.
    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)04:22 No.15479252

    >All that's left are furries and 'futanari', whatever the hell those are.

    Worth Prey for our Titans Holy guns!
    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)05:18 No.15479540
    I have to confess I don't really believe this.
    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)07:30 No.15480090
    I miss his stories, the alt star wars saga being nightmare fuel
    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)08:06 No.15480157
    What, the one where the guy had gay sex with his twilek wingman who he had for years thought was a girl, and then ended up beating boba fett to death with an entrenching tool in a confused and frustrated rage?

    I thought that was a pretty good story.
    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)08:08 No.15480167
    He's still around, posting occasionally.
    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)08:11 No.15480179
    that's the very one. Also, while this dave guy isn't quite Wasteland, he's not bad. I wonder if he'll post again soon.
    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)08:16 No.15480200
    It's strange, but true. There are people out there shaped like grimace.
    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)08:26 No.15480238
    I find that its stories like this here that people can't really make up. Reality is just too fucking weird. If it was a manufactured story, he'd have done something epic in terms of revenge like made them all cry or off themselves or something along those lines, right? It's the same sort of shit that makes Wasteland's shit awesome, just weird stories from weird settings, things going 'not as planned'.
    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)08:27 No.15480245
    The descriptions of the people and their supposed mannerisms just don't really hold up as believable for me, nor does the OP and his construction. I didn't say 'This isn't true' I said 'I confess I dont believe this'. Just my 2c, sorry.
    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)08:50 No.15480327
    Dear /tg/, if we were to start adapting to this as a setting, should we simply abandon any pretenses at hard science fiction?

    I'm currently finding it a little hard to justify a human presence on Mercury. I'm pretty sure that, at the equator, the temperature of the planet is changes from over 800 degress fahrenheit during the day to -300 at night.

    I kindly did look at a previous anon's suggestion of some sort of orbiting station that kept pace with the planet's rotation, but it would seem to me that the point of colonizing a planet is to actually manage to take advantage of its terrestrial surface. I mean, let me put it this way: Mercury is a planet mostly composed of ferrous metals; why would you even bother going to that barren hell-hole unless you could actually harness the resources present?
    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)09:18 No.15480462
    Mercury is tidally-locked brah.
    >> Anonymous 07/05/11(Tue)09:37 No.15480547
    "For many years it was thought that Mercury was synchronously tidally locked with the Sun, rotating once for each orbit and always keeping the same face directed towards the Sun, in the same way that the same side of the Moon always faces the Earth. However, radar observations in 1965 proved that the planet has a 3:2 spin–orbit resonance, rotating three times for every two revolutions around the Sun; the eccentricity of Mercury’s orbit makes this resonance stable—at perihelion, when the solar tide is strongest, the Sun is nearly still in Mercury’s sky.

    The original reason astronomers thought it was synchronously locked was that, whenever Mercury was best placed for observation, it was always nearly at the same point in its 3:2 resonance, hence showing the same face. This is because, coincidentally, Mercury's rotation period is almost exactly half of its synodic period with respect to Earth. Due to Mercury’s 3:2 spin–orbit resonance, a solar day (the length between two meridian transits of the Sun) lasts about 176 Earth days."

    >> Dantalaeon !!2TQS185pmIh 07/05/11(Tue)09:39 No.15480564

    Firm Serve Science Fiction, then. That way we can have psychics, humanoid aliens and FTL travel.

    I've actually already created a setting for it. It's based on Cold War-era South America.

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