rolled 53 = 53

Josh

rolled 30 = 30

Clearly his name should be Josh

rolled 74 = 74

Waggleton P. Tallylicker

rolled 4 = 4

JOSH

rolled 40 = 40

Deathfuck Killrape

rolled 44 = 44

>>15647826

Josh

rolled 58 = 58

Dinosaur

rolled 73 = 73

>>15647826
>>15647840
>>15647852
Is there a reference/joke I'm not getting here?

rolled 50 = 50

>>15647815
Josh

rolled 29 = 29

Name it Josh

rolled 80 = 80

>>15647815
Horus' Puppy

rolled 16 = 16

Josh.

Just because everyone else seems to want it. For some reason.

rolled 68 = 68

Josh. I don't even know why.

rolled 8 = 8

Steven

rolled 10 = 10

Cunt-Eater

rolled 65 = 65

Abba-dino

rolled 87 = 87

Josh...


...but why?

rolled 5 = 5

Rex

rolled 53 = 53

Hm, the Gods obviously dislike these ideas...

Lets call it Barney.

>>15647935
After much thinking, you decide to name your steed Josh.

What now, warmaster?

rolled 7 = 7

admiral wolverine lightingbolt

rolled 90 = 90

Reward the monkeys with bananas.
And unless Eliphas's contribution to our sonaughter's wargear is utterly awesome, give him the title of "High Overlord of Jokaero Maintenance".

rolled 44 = 44

>>15647954
Ask Eliphas for an update on that power armour. Smack him if the monkeys aren't done and smack him if they are done anyways.

rolled 67 = 67

>>15647954
GET THE WAR COUNCIL TOGETHER
WE MUST TELL THEM OF OUR MASTER PLAN

>>15647970
Pleased by the work of the jokaero you degree that they shall all be rewarded with bananas.

There is much rejoicing.

Meanwhile, Eliphas has yet to add his touches to the power armour which is still being crafted. You degree that his title become "High Overlord of Jokaero Maintenance".

There is much rejoicing.

It appears the noises made by the simians has caught Noddaba's attention, as the abomination child attempts to grab several with his tendrils.

rolled 40 = 40

>>15648050
Smack that brat and tell him to stop trying to murder everything.

rolled 96 = 96

>>15648050
Smash tendrils before they reach monkeys
Punch sonaughter in face area
Tell it to stop being so goddamn bloodthirsty

rolled 38 = 38

>>15648050
"DAMMIT SON I WILL NOT HAVE THIS BULLSHIT ANYMORE!"
Then pimp smack

>>15648081
As the creature's tentacles close in on the jokaero, you stride over to the tendrils and bring Sindri down, crushing one.

Noddaba make a noise somewhere between a yelp and a roar. You then swing Sindri once more, this time aiming for the abomination's face. It reels back after being struck and you tell it that it must restrain itself from trying to kill all the time.

The creature looks at you. *BUT BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!* it says

rolled 26 = 26

>>15648143
"BITCH DO YOU WANT A SPANKING?"

rolled 81 = 81

>>15648143
"While true, the blood god values the blood of the False Emperor's lackeys more than our own."
Then get Kharn down here to back us up with brotime.

rolled 70 = 70

Looks like someone needs another smacking.

rolled 29 = 29

>>15648143
"There will be much bloodshed in the near future, and these creatures have use to me, I will not have them squandered."

Then call for a meeting with the champions to discuss our next course of action.

rolled 89 = 89

>>15648143
you need to learn about the true meaning of chaos. go find uncle kharne for your first lesson, he will teach you what it mean to spill blood for the blood god.

rolled 52 = 52

>>15648220
this!

>>15648143
Monkeys don't have blood, sonaughter.
*reassuring pat on the tentacle*

>>15648182
You inform Noddaba that he still has much to learn about the ways of Chaos. You tell him that if he wishes to know how to please Khorne properly, he must seek the champion Kharn.

Noddaba nods reluctantly and withdraws it's tendrils. The creature beings leaving the room to search for Kharn.

What now, warmaster?

>>15648279
Derp meant for that to reply to >>15648220

>>15648279
Slap Eliphas. It's been at least 5seconds since he had a good smack.

rolled 46 = 46

>>15648291
Trying again

rolled 70 = 70

>>15648279
Rally war council.

rolled 34 = 34

>>15648287
go talk to typhus. we haven't talked to him much

rolled 96 = 96

>>15648279
Orbital Bombardment on Terra.
If we destroy the planet, the false Emperor will never be born.

rolled 64 = 64

Oversee sonaughter's tutoring.

>>15648340
You decide to the course of action right now would be the blast ancient Terra until it becomes a scorching wasteland of a world. Destroying the planet would make it so the Emperor was never born in the first place.

You begin thinking. In what way shall you destroy Terra?

rolled 82 = 82

>>15648410
Get all the other champions together. We shouldn't decide anything without talking with them first.

rolled 42 = 42

>>15648410

But if it is Ancient Terra, what is the Loyalist Dreadnought and Terminator of the Alpha Legion being there?!?!?!?

Have we even established when and where we are?

>>15648410

If the cretin destroys Holy Terra, he will not only alter the Emperor's timeline and history, he will totally undo his as well.

rolled 29 = 29

>>15648436
>what is the Loyalist Dreadnought and Terminator of the Alpha Legion being there?!?!?!?
I'm pretty damn sure the Dreadnought had memory problems. And the terminator seems to be mentally insane chaos.

rolled 65 = 65

>>15648410

Easy, we have to skip forward a few million years, to the Emperor's childhood.

But before we do so, we have to build a fuckhuge Chaos temple, so all we have to do is kidnap the Emperor and lock him in there until he's deliciously chaotic.

rolled 90 = 90

>>15648480
sounds insane
I like it

>>15648480

Kidnap the Emperor, hah, No. The kid would tear you people apart while he would sit there playing with his blocks. UNKNOWINGLY.

rolled 18 = 18

>>15648480
WE will be the one's to populate earth to begin with. WE will create our own past and change it so that our entire species worship chaos from the very beginning! Nobody knew what wiped out most large creatures and dinosaurs.... It'll be us!

rolled 64 = 64

>>15648577
Oh come on, such a shitty roll? One re-roll...

>>15648508
As you ponder, a sinister though crosses your mind. What if you were to find the Emperor as a child and instead of killing him, convert him to Chaos?

The idea is just to deliciously evil to not try. You tune into the vox channel and tell Ahriman to get his time travel mumbo-jumbo ready, as you have a plan which will require you going back a few million years into the future.

Ahriman voxs back "And just how the FUCK do you expect me to do that?" he says harshly "The only reason I could go back in time was because the warp was strong in the 41st mellenium. Here the chaos gods do not exist and it would be nearly impossible to bend the warp as necessary again."

rolled 97 = 97

>>15648588
>>15648577
no dubs on the actual rolls? but dubs in my post numbers? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

>>15648596
do this instead.

rolled 20 = 20

>>15648596
Screw this shit. First let's get the eldar submitting to the eight-pointed star. Then once they've all gone chaos we wait a century for the dark gods to start popping up and then go forward in time.

>>15648624
DERP, this:
>>15648610

rolled 38 = 38

>>15648596

Theres that, and the 60 thousand shaman collective consciousness full of delicious psykery goodness in Lil E's head just waiting to be provoked.

I propose you guys kidnap a random wrestler or some shit and see if you can transform him into a CSM or some shit.

Hoard up an army, invade. Win.

rolled 92 = 92

>>15648627
I'm rolling for this.
Also we really need to get back to our waifu and take her to our sonaughter.

rolled 47 = 47

Rolling for seeding Terra with human life and making it corrupt from the start. Also, get the elfdar worshipping. Then fast forward with the birth of the gods as our fuel, and see what Terra has become sometime just before 8000 BC.

>>15648652
You inform Ahriman that you intend to solve that issue by getting the Eldar to convert to Chaos.

Ahriman sighs. "Well how about you do first BEFORE coming up with any more absurd ideas, you irrational chucklefuck?" he says before turning off his vox.

You then realize that you still need to introduce your wife-to-be and sonaughter to each other. You head over to the cells, where you eventually find the Eldar captive wandering about.

She sneers at you. "Where the hell have you been?" she asks harshly "Why did you just run off without saying anything? And where the bloody hell can I find some clothes?"

rolled 39 = 39

>>15648730
Ask her name.

Seriously we don't even know

rolled 93 = 93

>>15648730
Demand name and find sonaughter to introduce to her.

rolled 40 = 40

>>15648730
You want clothes!? What next, food and water!? Do I look like I'm made of money? Cause I'm not, I'm made of meat and bones and squishy pinkish bits.

rolled 11 = 11

>>15648730
women i have been making a plan so complex your mind will melt as for clothes i will go see what our space chimps can fix up

rolled 75 = 75

>>15648730
you heard the lady, get her some clothes.
Kill a cultist and take his if you don't find anything.

rolled 75 = 75

>>15648783
Make space chim robe for waifu. Basically just tape a bunch of them together and have her wear them.

rolled 57 = 57

give her something corrupted yet elegant. that will be fitting for being with someone of our magnificance and status!

>>15648772
You tell the Eldar warrior that you wish to know what her name is.

"My full name is As'elda Yaadeer Machenys Ishdra." she tells you, a rough tone to her voiced still.

You tell her that you wish to take her to your child now. She shakes her head. "No. How about first you tell me what your name is, and then fetch me some clothes."

rolled 5 = 5

introduce ourselfs in a magnanamous fashion. send for some corrupted, yet elegant, clothing for her.

rolled 73 = 73

>>15648877
"Bitch shut the fuck up. Now you're gonna meet with our sonaughter and tell it how fucking proud of it you are. Then we'll have a nice marriage and convert all your people to my gods."

rolled 20 = 20

>>15648877
First we do this.
>>15648903
AND THEN THE WILL OF THE GODS FILLS HER, AND SHE SEES OUR MAJESTY AND.... Gives us a warm, emotional hug out of pure love.

rolled 39 = 39

>>15648877
"I AM THE GREATWARMASTER ABADDON THE DESPOILER. LEADER OF THE BLACK LEGION. CHOOSEN CHAMPION OF THE GODS OF CHAOS. THE CREATOR OF 14 BLACK CRUSADES AGAINTS THE IMPERIUM OF MAN AND THEIR FALSE GOD EMPEROR. ya i think that is everything...to the monkey house"

rolled 7 = 7

>>15648877
Sex her until she shuts up and stops complaining.

Eldar bitch can't talk if they've got something in their mouth.

rolled 31 = 31

>>15648915
rolling for this

rolled 95 = 95

>>15648877
Grab your chest plate, TEAR IT OFF, present it.
I am abbadon the dispoinler, choisen of the gods of chaos, and, father of your children! I shall call you Ishdra."

rolled 44 = 44

>>15648877

satisfy her with GRAND INTRODUCTION and some simple attire, THEN MAKE WITH THE EZEKYLE ABADDON CHARM!!!!! Chaos is Cool, and all that Jazz...

>>15648986
You grasp your breastplate and rip it out from it's plate, revealing your chest. You hand the ceramite plate to Ishdra.

You tell her your name and all your titles. She nods, although she's still scowling. "Fine then, oh mighty despoiler. Will you show me where this child of ours is now?"

rolled 4 = 4

>>15649036
"Ok, but be sure to be very positive when you meet it, I'm trying to bring up this child properly"

"I'll be back"

leave and look for our sonaughter.

rolled 47 = 47

>>15649036

Psychically summon our sonaughter to meet its mother. We can't be chasing after this fucker all the time.

rolled 16 = 16

take her to meet our sonaughter. on the way talk to her about about our new idea, a public awareness campain called 'CHAOS AND YOU!'
it will make EVERYTHING want to join chaos because of it's cunning wordplay and PROPOGANDA!!!

rolled 64 = 64

>>15649036

It shall be so.

Leave the cell. Search for your sonaughter and also keep and eye open for a possible dress - we can't make our "wife" subdue the Eldar Empire if she considers us an asshole anyway.

>yeright No

(I think he dislikes this)

rolled 99 = 99

>>15649036
Do some of those muscle flexing things to show off your bare chest. Then offer if she would like to have a slave carry her around, we can also get a demonically possessed throne if she'd rather not deal with the help.

Show Ishdra around a bit as we make our may to the money den, and what exactly is Her former title? she was trained in the arts of her peoples witchery, so she must have some renown. And apologize for eviscerating her unit.

>>15649088
Tzeentch approves.

>>15649088

The daemonically possessed throne then,I assume.

It should have wings with feathers of all colors and must also be glorious in general.

>>15649088
wow. on fucking roll here. 95 and 99. Goodness me.

rolled 36 = 36

maybe we should secure her to the throne, just in-case she tries to escape...

I'm not saying she will, but I'd hate for us to lose our waifu now...

rolled 64 = 64

Rolling for getting Ishdra a hugely majestic dress to go along with this:
>>15649088
If the god's will it, it shall be summoned upon her flesh on our very command.

>>15649188
Made from the armor plate i'd just given her, as strong as Terminator armor, but as light and elegant and xeno mesh

rolled 97 = 97

>>15649202
YES! And if the gods favour my roll, it will be infused with various gemstones with mystical properties that are yet to be revealed....

rolled 67 = 67

>>15649188
>>15649202
>>15649227
somehow, I find this rather amusing

rolled 91 = 91

>>15649337
HERS SHALL BE THE THRONE THAT PEIRCES THE MATERIUM!

(Sorry I was gone for so long. Internet was being a dildo)

>>15649088
You chest now exposed, you begin doing some flexes with your muscles. Ishdra watches attentively as you do so, mesmerized by your extreme manliness.

You then offer a daemon seat or slave to carry her around. As if Tzeentch himself had heard you, a large chair infused with a daemon appears from around the corner. Your bride-to-be gets onto the small throne and follows you down the halls.

You speaker with her a bit as the two of you make your way around the ship. You ask her if she has a title and apologize for killing her squad.

She shakes her head. "I have no title. I'm just a regular warrior of the Eldar armies." she says "And don't worry, I didn't care for most of my unit anyways. Aside from the one who's head you tore off." She adds a bit of a harsher tone to that last sentence.

rolled 58 = 58

>>15649435
Also, she shall have a pet snake, which is actually a shapeshifting Daemon bound to her will.

Also, I'm guessing she'll be our main form or communication between the Eldar race and us. Another also; aren't the Eldar of this point in time close to becoming Dark Eldar? As Craftworld Eldar are only Eldar who decided to go against their race and run away in their ships.

rolled 34 = 34

>>15649441
rolling to summon the dress mentioned a couple of posts back. Also, apologise sincerely about the friend who's head you ripped off. You want to appear more to her than just a killing machine. Also, SORT OUT WEDDING PLANS.

rolled 99 = 99

>>15649441
Well excuuuuse me princess.

>>15649441
Ask her who that guy was anyway, then casually remind her that he probably didn't like living anyway.

rolled 96 = 96

>>15649499
Well, fuck everything, Tzeentch has spoken once again.

rolled 65 = 65

>>15649499
>15649499
>49499
>499
>99
>rolled 99
>Tzeentch doubly wills it?
Also, hoping for some blessing on getting weddings plans sorted out too with this post, as that one line isn't going to be much to go on.

>>15649499
As you finish speaking Ishdra glares and sneers at you viciously, hatred showing in her eyes.

Soon you hear voice. "NOW LISTEN HERE THING; KHORNE MAY NOT CARE FROM WHENCE THE BLOOD FLOWS BUT STILL OUT TO. YOU SHOULD ONLY KILL NON-BELIEVERS AND PEOPLE WHO ANGER YOU, FOR IF YOU KILL FELLOW CHAOS ALL THE TIME THEN YOU'RE NO BETTER THAN THOSE MALAL PRICKS."

You spot Kharn inside of a room, apparently teaching Noddaba about Chaos. He waves at you. "OH HI ABADDON! AND HI NAKED ELDAR BITCH LADY!"

>>15649582

Brofist him.

rolled 81 = 81

>>15649582
my nigga. how is junior's lesson going? before i for get mom, son. son, mon.

>>15649582

Ask Kharn how's teaching our sonaughter going and introduce waifu to aonaughter

rolled 2 = 2

>>15649582
Hail Kharn, Warrior of blood.

I'm just taking Ishdra here to the Simians to be clothed.

(speaking to Ishdra) This (point to sonaughter) is our sonaughter, Nodabba.

(Speaking to Nodabba) This (point to Ishdra) is your Mother.

But there will be time for proper introductions later, for now clothing is in order.

rolled 60 = 60

>>15649600

Stupid fucking roll.

rolled 5 = 5

bro-fist kharn and greet our sonaughter. make the nessicary introductions and COMENCE WITH THE FESTIVITIES!!! we have a wedding to preform and a race to corrupt...

(we are to train for 'ricari combat' apparently)

rolled 62 = 62

>>15649582
"Hey Kharn!" Lean to the side to speak to Ishdra, "Kharn, chosen champion of Khorne, Hell of a guy."

"Kharn good buddy! This is As'elda Yaadeer Machenys Ishdra, you can call her Ishdra. How's the boy listening to the teachings of Khorne? He's a Natural, i can tell he just needs some guidance."

rolled 43 = 43

>>15649582
Introduce Kharn and your hellspawn son to Ishdra, then mention that it has her eyes, then express anticipation to see your next offspring, patting Ishdra's belly.

You then proceed to brofist Kharn and ask how well is your son getting along with him and ways of Chaos.

rolled 82 = 82

>>15649634
rolling for this. Also, the dress with the gemstones mentioned earlier in the thread shall be presented/summoned for her at the wedding. For now, the breastplace we gave her becomes a long flowing gown. That still has the properties of terminator armour. But light as a feather.

>>15649619
"THE THING IS DOING WELL." Kharn says "HE'S NATURALLY PIOUS, JUST NEEDS TO BE PUT IN THE RIGHT MINDSET."

You introduce Ishdra and your child to on another. *MOMMY?* the abomination says telepathically.

Ishdra is startled to say the least. "This...MONSTER is our child?!"

rolled 59 = 59

>>15649770
"It has your looks!"

rolled 82 = 82

>>15649770
"It could have been a lot worse." project into her mind the rolls when we were decided what the kid would be.

rolled 14 = 14

>>15649770
"ISNT HE GREAT!? Blessed by not one, but Two of the gods that be!

He has your eyes."

>>15649770
THE GODS HAVE TRULY BLESSED US.

OK MAYBE THEY WENT FUCKING ALL OUT ON IT.

BUT STILL, WE SHOULD SPREAD THE BLESSINGS AROUND AND SUCH.

rolled 89 = 89

LETS GET OUR WAIFU SOME SUITABLE CLOTHING BLESSED BY CHAOS AND THEN DISCUSS THE ELDAR AND HOW THEY SHOULD BE BLESSED BY CHAOS TOO

rolled 93 = 93

>>15649722
rolling for this, ignoring the bit about introductions and stuff. Also, explain to Ishdra that although: "it may not be the most beautiful of things, it is still our offspring and we must love it as such. It is not an abomination, it is just... different from you and I."
also, rolling to see if she finally feels love for her child.

>>15649824
As Ishdra stares at her child in a mix of disgust and horror, you decide you need to get some proper and blessed clothes.

You ask Kharn if he has any on hand. He shakes his head. "NOPE. BACK DURING THE CRUSADE ANGRON OUTLAWED NON-ARMORUED ATTIRE AMONG THE LEGION BECAUSE "FABRICS ARE FOR FUCKING FAGGOTS"." he says "I HEAR THAT LUCIUS IS A PRETTY GOOD SEAMSTRESS. MAYBE YOU COULD TALK TO HIM."

>>15649880
gahhhh, my good rolls are always posted after you've started typing.
>>15649869
do this? pleaaaase?

rolled 45 = 45

>>15649880
WELL WE'LL SEND A MEMO CARVED INTO A SLAVE'S BACK TO GET IT DONE AND SOMESHIT.

IN THE MEANTIME WE HAVE A PLANET TO BURN AND MORE ELDAR TO SHOW THE GLORY OF CHAOS!

rolled 20 = 20

>>15649915
FOR CHAOS!

seriously we need to look into the whole Eldar situtation

Bitch can handle being nude for a bit longer as we have more important things to do

rolled 27 = 27

>>15649880
go to lucius with future wife. tell son to be a good student and have kharne continue his lesson, then have typhus teach the next lesson for our spawn

rolled 11 = 11

>>15649936
Fucksticks Malal get your hairy asshole off of my dice!

rolled 8 = 8

>>15649904
OK, rolling for this early this time. goddamnit.

rolled 71 = 71

>>15649953
GODFUCKINGDAMNIT. i'm cursed to only get good rolls when they don't count.

rolled 27 = 27

>>15649880
Send a slave to Lucius to make the terminator-strength, Chaos blessed dress/gown.

Then gather a council to discuss how to convert the Eldar to chaos.

rolled 75 = 75

>>15649880
Punch him in the knee!

"FINE I'LL CHAT WITH HIM! AND WHILE I'M AT IT I'LL GET HIM TO SEW YOU A PRETTY LITTLE DRESS, WITH SEQUINS!"
and do a 'wut' motion

rolled 33 = 33

>>15649970
>>15649936
>>15649915

BY SLAANESH'S BETENTACLED TEATS! THESE!

rolled 29 = 29

>>15649880
Politely ask Kharn to hunt down some dinosaurs, flay their hides, then give to Jokaeros to craft them into a giant leather coat and a costume that would make duke Sliscus whimper tears of jealousy. Jokaeros must also add glitters and digital weapons to it.

rolled 60 = 60

>>15649981
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

rolled 58 = 58

>>15649960
-sigh-
last frustrated re-roll. No more after this, promise.

rolled 80 = 80

Contact Lucius and ask him to sew a lovely dress from flayed Eldar skin.

>>15649980
You give Kharn a light jab in the knee with Sindri. You tell the champion you'll go see Lucius about the dress and tell him to sew him one too.

Kharn gives you an awkward look as you leave. Ishdra follows, although she occasionally looks back to leer at Noddaba. "What the hell is wrong with your seed, Abaddon? This thing was hideous." she says

rolled 51 = 51

>>15650009
You are full of the dumb, none of that.

rolled 100 = 100

>>15650023
Use Sindri powers to make her love the kid, we need to figure out how to corrupt the other Eldar.

rolled 62 = 62

>>15650023
Give him time dear, he's been blessed by all of the Chaos Gods. Our child's body cannot keep up with the sheer magnitude of the power s/he has been endowed with. In due time Slaanesh shall guide his/her body into the most rapturous of forms.

rolled 68 = 68

>>15650023
"Oi! I am all Human... ok, around 75% human, and the rest robot arms. There is nothing wrong with my seed, it is just that a god that doesnt even exist in this timeline yet blessed our joining, which is why you immediately went into labor and birthed him. Then, a Second god afterward blessed him with the powers at his disposal, causing our son to rise to his current size and age. And now, we have Khorne's Champion teaching him, he is well on his way to the next Warmaster of the Black Legion, when i'm done with it."

rolled 28 = 28

You know, I was here for the first thread, and it started promising enough.

Now I come back and what? Abbadon has a son, we're marrying an elf? Rolling to kill Ishdra and get your shit back together. Come on, your Abbadon the Despoiler, get to murderan an mayheman

>>15650050
Displeased that Ishdra is so appalled by your child, you decide it's time to apply some "sorcerous influence".

You bring Sindri about and grab onto the Eldar's head with it. Soon the daemon begins filling her mind with the whispers of Chaos. After about a minute you let go of her.

"You know...now that I think about it, I out to be proud of our child. It's been blessed by the greatest of gods and, although not physically stunning, is beautiful in over a dozen different ways." she says, smiling.

rolled 24 = 24

>>15650153

That's fantastic, but we need to go DESPOIL THINGS. Because we are ABADDON THE GOD DAMN DESPOILER.

Rolling to leave terra and find us some god damn imperials to ANALLY VIOLATE. I've had enough of this love can bloom shit.

rolled 6 = 6

>>15650089
Kill awesome waifu and lose the chance to have the eldar enslaved to chaos? Fuck that.

>>15650153
Go see Lucius/plan wedding.

rolled 62 = 62

>>15650153
now then on to more important business

HOW DO WE SHOW THE ELDAR THE GLORY OF CHAOS!

Call together everyone who is important because this is going to be a big meeting.

Also get some slaves to bring us some barbequed dinos.

rolled 19 = 19

>>15650153
See Lucius about the dress.
Also contact Eliphas. If his monkeys haven't finished junior's power armour then give him a mental bitchslap with Sindri.

rolled 63 = 63

>>15650153
That's the Spirit my dear.
Bwahahahah, BWAHAHAHAHAH!

No where that hell is that Lucius. Speaking of which, where is Doomrider? He'd be a good man to talk with our son as well.

rolled 51 = 51

>>15650153
Should we really be bringing a naked eldar to see a slaaneshi champion?

Have Ishdra stay outside when meeting Lucius. Also tell Ahriman to have the war council get ready for talks of conquest/corruption/wedding plans.

rolled 58 = 58

>>15650171
>does not understand the subtleties of tzeentch...
Rolling to organise the wedding. preferably on a small eldar world that isn't so significant, after Ishdra has made some speech about her enlightenment. (I'm also rolling for how well this would go). the locals would then hopefully be influenced by this... and then the influence would gradually spread across their empire.

rolled 51 = 51

>>15650210
She's not naked, she's wearing the chest plate. And besides, if he tries anything, we hit him with the demon chair.

rolled 6 = 6

>>15650184
THIS A THOUSAND TIMES THIS

WE NEED TO GET BACK TO BUSINESS

rolled 87 = 87

>>15650184
in answer to this i reference this:
>>15650224
Also, rolling for this

rolled 27 = 27

>>15650171

Rolling to resume despoiling.

>>15650259
protip: we ARE despoiling. Subtly.

>>15650291

>>15650251
You decide it's about time to plot your grand scheme. As you walk to Lucius' place you tune into the vox channel and contact Ahriman. "Yes Abaddon? What is it this time?"

You inform Ahriman that you want him to call the other champions and tell them to get ready for a meeting. You wish to discuss "important plans".

"About dammed time." the sorcerer says "I will rally all the peoples of significance aboard our vessels to your throneroom."

As you are about to reach Lucius' chambers Ahriman chimes in again. "Say...would you mind if I could spend some time with your spawn? This is much I can learn from such a wondrous being, and much eh can learn from me..."

>>15650328
this wasn't included then i take it?
>>15650224

rolled 99 = 99

>>15650328
Fuck off Ahriman

You cant even timetravel a choas marine battle fleet properly, no way are you messing around with out sin-against-nature/sondaughter

rolled 32 = 32

>>15650312
>>15650291
I think we despoiled eldar waifu pretty well.

>>15650328
Tell him to suck Doomrider's cock. We aren't letting this asshole a hundred meters near our kid.

rolled 59 = 59

>>15650224

>locals would then hopefully be influenced by this... and then the influence would gradually spread across their empire.

It's CHAOS, IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. Eldar aren't mon-keigh! They not going to fall for this shit!

Rolling to get the stupid out of your head, kill Eldar xenos filth and get back to FINISHING what Horus started

rolled 35 = 35

>>15650344
>implying the big meeting isn't to organize the wedding

>>15650363
you do realise we're not going to be able to destroy the eldar with brute force, right? we're up against them at the height of their power. Which is also before they knew of the dangers of chaos...

rolled 19 = 19

>>15650363
so how are we going to get the eldar to fall to chaos? I sugest we ask each of our champions for ideas, then pick something different cause they'll all be terrible.

rolled 81 = 81

>>15650328

You sure we can't just...y'know. KILL THEM ALL?

rolled 70 = 70

>>15650363
Except, you know, we already managed to convert an eldar to chaos just but saying some lies and propaganda.

Continue with plans.

rolled 28 = 28

>>15650354
>99
For the Dark Gods!

Also hit him with the demon chair.

rolled 100 = 100

>>15650382
I'm still voting for using the wedding in some way. It's the perfect opportunity to pose as their allies, whilst allowing chaos to whisper to them. We have to use this somehow.

rolled 93 = 93

>>15650381

Spoilers

the Eldar will destroy themselves. Didn't we go back in time to stop the empra from being born, er, something? Rolling for that

rolled 98 = 98

>>15650409
YES! we will have a wedding that will make GoT's red wedding look like a fucking dream wedding!

BTW, marking it now, jokaero for priest, Kharne for best man

rolled 51 = 51

>>15650421
>>15650409
100 and a 98? this is happening.

>>15650354
You tell Ahriman to piss the fuck off.

The sorcerer growls over the vox. "Fine then. I suppose that if you want your child to grow up to be a retarded khornate like Kharn then that's fine."

You enter Lucius' chambers and the champion greets you. "Abaddon! What a pleasant surprise!" he says, and then turns to Ishdra. "Oooh, did you bring this delicious meal for me?" The champion sticks out his freakish tongue.

rolled 68 = 68

>>15650448

Give the girl to Lucius and go find something to kill.

rolled 92 = 92

>>15650448
Grab tongue with Sidnri and say you'll let go after he makes a dress for your waifu.

rolled 85 = 85

>>15650448
Tell him make the eldar a dress

rolled 17 = 17

>>15650448
Do a threatening gesture and give him the list of clothing that As'elda requires. Also inform him of a meeting to corrupt the Eldar, attendance is mandatory.

rolled 43 = 43

goddamn it Lucius, eyes off our woman!

Tell him hes gunna help Kharne with tutoring our offspring, that should keep him distracted.

Also, i guess we're planning a wedding now, so get erryone else important in here

rolled 19 = 19

>>15650448
No, I came to you, For Her. You're going to use your old needle and thread to make her some nice clothes, as well as a dress for Kharne, or i'm going to tell the entire fleet how you and your men ran like frightened Grots from those tiny scaly xenos.

Understand?

rolled 29 = 29

>>15650477
wait do we want her in a dress, or in sexy, unrealistic, clevage showing, power armor? cause that'd be hot as fuck, especially if we add a good amount of spikes to it

rolled 47 = 47

>>15650448
sorry mate no one touches but me except for this one exception were i need you to make her the finest clothing ever the unborn slaanesh will weep at. also we have a meeting very soon so make it quick. off to typhus

>>15650497
read the past few threads. We can't travel in time until the chaos gods have properly formed in the warp. Why do you think we're trying to make the eldar fall early?

rolled 13 = 13

>>15650394
>>15650470
>>15650363
>RAAAH I DON'T LIKE THIS QUEST SO I'M GOING TO REVERSE ALL THE EFFORT THAT HAS GONE INTO IT SO WE CAN KILL RANDOM SHIT
Why are you even posting here?

>>15650524

>Gets upset when someone tries to mess up their waifu simulator.

rolled 40 = 40

>>15650524

Why? For the glory of Chaos! That's why

There are other ways to get back without marrying an Eldar, i'm certain of it

rolled 98 = 98

>>15650544
>>waifu
>>who we beat unconcious
>> raped
>>spawned a living obscenity from
>> raped again
>>seduced with sorcery
>>will marry to cause the rise of four evil gods and doom an innocent (so far) race to unholy terror and death for our own ends

Really? waifu simulator?

rolled 66 = 66

>>15650562
Wanna wait 20 million years for the eye to spawn? Or sit the Eldar on the path to make Slaneensh?

>>15650473
You reach out towards Lucius' tongue and grip it firmly with Sindri. You pull the champion towards you and tell him that you require him to make a dress for your wife-to-be.

"Wife? Oh shit." he says "Uh...don't worry man, I'll get working on it pronto." Lucius brings out his sewing machine and starts working on the dress.

(Got to eat dinner now, will be back)

rolled 68 = 68

>>15650577
>roll 66
>post number 77
>Or sit the Eldar on the path to make Slaneensh?
Well lets do this.

>>15650497
>>15650470
>>15650363
>>15650394
>>15650544

Oh just fuck off. The quest has been going this way for a while. No doubt there will be mindless killing later on, but for now at least it seems like there's some kind of plot unfolding, I for one wouldn't want to see all the effort put into the past few threads reversed by one butthurt troll.

>>15650580
REQUESTAN DRAWFAGGOTRY RIGHT NOW ON LUCIUS AT HIS SEWING MACHINE

rolled 71 = 71

>>15650577

Neither!

Send Lucious and Ahriman to whisper words of love and inspiration into the unsuspecting minds of the eldar. Organize rave orgies and grand exhibitions of art! Send your weakest followers to the edges of their empire to be struck down to fill the eldar with pride and hubris! We will destroy them Chaos style!

rolled 32 = 32

>>15650562
Need we remind you as well that she is carrying inside her a Future Lord Of Chaos Inside Her! Likely Twins!

rolled 19 = 19

Attempt to hate Khorne into existence by yourself.

rolled 73 = 73

>>15650633
nah, we should make their fall be about the wedding, get all the eldar head honchos and craftworlds together for it, then BOOM DEAMONS EVERRYWHERE
DEBAUCHERY EVERYWHERE
KILLING EVERYWHERE
STAGNATION EVERYWHERE
CHANGE EVERYWHERE

maybe that'll work, idk, its kinda hard to make an entire race fall to chaos all at once. even if it is the eldar...

maybe the orks could help, they're still around right?

rolled 97 = 97

>>15650633
That's how we going to make Slaneensh, it should only take 400 years this way.

rolled 99 = 99

>>15650666
Yes the Orks are still around.

rolled 4 = 4

>>15650676

>how should we get the eldar to fall
>organize a wedding and try to spread the word
>screw that, strike from the shadows and quicken their debauchery

>how about orks?

I like where this thread is going

rolled 38 = 38

>>15650580
Go and get the war council started. Before making any decisions, let's hear the voice of the council.

On the agenda:
How to: The Fall of the Eldar
Scout reports (if there's been any scouting of the local system, if not, order it to be done)
Wedding
what to do about Terra.

rolled 93 = 93

>>15650730
and the next book on warmaster's approved reading list for cultists.

rolled 60 = 60

Why has nobody had the idea of simply asking the eldar bitch what would persuade her people to see the light? rolling for it.

(Alright I'm back. And to the people or person displeased at the lack of blood for the blood god, don't worry. There shall be biblical amounts of destruction to come)

Once Lucius is finished his sewing, he hands to you a dress. It's exposing, to a ridiculous degree, and has patterns in the shape of chaos marks along it. The whole thing appears to have been made from the skin of...something. At least you think it's skin. Over the chest area is an unmissable symbol of Slaanesh, wisps of warp energy seen around it.

What now, warmaster?

rolled 13 = 13

>>15650762
This >>15650761

rolled 83 = 83

>>15650762
I say follow this:
>>15650744

>>15650666
while we're corrupting the Eldar we should also see if we can make use of more of Ancient Terra's dinosaurs, the more forces we have the better.

rolled 21 = 21

>>15650786
oh yeah, and this:
>>15650778

rolled 42 = 42

>>15650762
WE become the Exodites.

rolled 97 = 97

>>15650762
This
>>15650730
Gather pretty much everyone of importance, also the eldar.

rolled 17 = 17

>>15650762
To the Meeting!
Where we plan our the war effort, areas to colonize to refresh numbers when needed, Wedding planning party!

Ishdra is not to move about the ship without some of our personal guard with her to stave our men, 'displeased' with out choice.

rolled 34 = 34

>>15650806
supporting this. Also I wouldn't bring the 'wife' just yet, in case the others reveal the true nature of chaos to her. But she should still be asked about what would best influence her people.

rolled 74 = 74

>>15650730
>>15650762
Brainstorm with the council
also>>15650793

rolled 87 = 87

>>15650762
Blow up the planet.

rolled 45 = 45

>>15650863
-sigh-
rolling for war council

rolled 73 = 73

Why if there is no Emperor yet was there Loyalist Alpha Legionnaires that we didn't know about?

>>15650806
You decide it's about item for the war council to get started. You vox Ahriman and inform him that you wish to begin the meeting.now.

"Very well Abaddon. I shall inform the peoples of importance to gather at your chambers.

After about an hour or so everyone of importance on the Black Crusade has gathered at your throneroom. Hundreds of champions, officers and similar individuals sit at or stand near a great table in the center of the great hall.

Most of the champions are there, although a few minor ones and Typhus are missing. Your officers inform you that they have had no contact with said individuals since they made planetfall on Terra.

Ahriman is the first to speak. "So Warmaster; what is it we have come here to discuss?" You tell him that you want to talk about bringing Chaos to the Eldar, scouting the sector, discuss what to do about Terra and plan your wedding."

The sorcerer nods."Very well I think we should start with the topic of the Eldar. In the last few days I have come up with an ingenious strategy which will have them worshiping the Ruinous Powers in a short detail of time, for those who wish to hear...."

rolled 23 = 23

>>15650947
I got my own plan and it's better than yours.

rolled 20 = 20

>>15650947
I got my own plan and it's better than yours.

rolled 80 = 80

>>15650956
>>15650963
Sorry there was lag.

rolled 37 = 37

well lets hear it then! and it better be good or it'll be your hand!

rolled 87 = 87

>>15650947
give Ahriman a good smacking and ask anyone else if they have some ideas.

rolled 89 = 89

>>15650947
listen to their ideas. Also, masturbate under the table like a ninja to please the unborn slaanesh.

rolled 72 = 72

>>15650947
tell me more

rolled 87 = 87

>>15650947

Listen to Ahriman. If his plan involves lots of ravens, smack him.

rolled 8 = 8

>>15650947
throw the dog a bone and listen, maybe its actualy good, we kind of jumped to conclusions with the senile dreadnought.

>>15650947
"Let's hear it you cumburping pillowbiter."
Then, whip out shlong at table and fap while Ahriman talks. Then cum on table.

rolled 25 = 25

>>15650963
Supporting the Quiet Ahriman, Men are talking roll

>>15651067
fergot to roll

rolled 65 = 65

>>15651084
DAMMIT!

rolled 1 = 1

>>15650947
We go find some orks and plant them on ancient earth so it will be dominated by orks and not humans making the emperor never born.

You nod slowly, as you reach under the table and remove Araghast from place.

Ahriman begins. "Well, seeing as how the Eldar are a race that respects knowledge, I believe that it would be best to send me and my cabal to speak with them on our collective behalf." he says "I would teach them many of the warp's secrets and wonders, allowing them to unlock their true potential as psykers. They would adore me and the Thousand Sons, forming cults dedicated to learning our ways. Then we would teach them of Tzeentch."

"FAGGOT."

Ahriman raises his vocie. "Excuse me?!"

"I SAID YOU'RE A FAGGOT." Kharn says "TZEENTCH IS A WIMP AND THE ELDAR WOULD LAUGH AT HIM AND YOU."

You continue jerking off under the table. Lucius, who is sitting on your right, notices and snickers.

"Well then, what do you propose you simple-minded kill crazy?" Ahriman asks, crossing his arms.

"ABADDON CHALLENGES THEIR LEADER TO A DUEL. IF HE WINS THEY HE GETS TO BECOME IN CHARGE, AND WE KILL ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE."

"DAMMIT ELDAR ARE NOT ORKS!" Ahriman shouts "And force would be useless. The eldar have thousands of armadas at this point in time. We have one."

rolled 50 = 50

>>15651145
"Ahriman when did one ship become an armada?" Then slap him.

rolled 35 = 35

>>15651159
With your ejactulate covered arm.

rolled 100 = 100

>>15651149
We tell Kharn to shut the fuck up for now, he'll get his chance to voice his opinion directly after this cunt's finished. Also, tell Kharn that there may be a chance that he could go and fuck around with the orks themselves later.

rolled 48 = 48

>>15651159
>>15651172
nah shoot your cum at him.

rolled 7 = 7

>>15651159
supporting this
>>15651188
>>15651172
and this

rolled 74 = 74

>>15651149
get a tzeencth sorcerer lord and slaanesh champion with retinue towards the eldar. keep Ahriman on board to other magic shit other socerers can't do because their heads are full of stupid

>>15651188
Still jerking off you tell to silence himself for now, as he may speak once Ahriman is finished. You also tell him offhand that there might be orks to kill later on. The World Eater grins under his helm.

Ahriman continues. "So after teaching them the ways of Tzeentch their seers and great psykers shall embrace his faith in droves. Any who do not worship the Raven God will end up being rejected from Eldar society. Their leaders shall become dedicated to the ways of the warp, and the ways of Tzeentch. That is how the Eldar will fall to Chaos."

Once Ahriman is finished, Kharn speaks. "I STILL THINK IT'S STUPID. I THINK WE OUTTA SHOW THEM HOW POWERFUL WE ARE. KILL SOMETHING REALLY STRONG OR DESTROY SOMETHING THEY NEVER COULD. THEY'LL BE IMPRESSED ASK US HOW WE DID IT."

rolled 46 = 46

>>15651300
rolling for this
>>15651279

rolled 71 = 71

>>15651300

All the chaos gods must be represented. If this plan were to take place, Lucius, Kharn, and Typhus must also begin their own cults, leading to the glorious dissolution of Eldar space into warfare between the cults. As it was meant to be.

rolled 48 = 48

>>15651300
Why dont we just send some guys in to create cults? I mean we're the Black Legion we are pretty good at that. We'll need all of the gods, not just Tzeentch for this to work.

rolled 15 = 15

>>15651300
Go with Kharn's idea. Wipe out an Ork empire or destroy a tomb world or something

rolled 38 = 38

>>15651300
rolling for this
>>15651279

rolled 100 = 100

>>15651300
"Whilst I don't fully agree with this plan... Necrons. If we could beat some necrons in front of them, perhaps that could show them our power. Perhaps Ahriman and his cabal could organise a parlay with them and initiate his plan after we 'save' them from a necron force that we.... obviously had no part in waking up...." Abbaddon puts this on the agenda as an idea, then motions for the next champion to give his ideas.

rolled 88 = 88

I wanna hear from everyone before we do anything, nurgle dude, whats your plan?

rolled 82 = 82

>>15651300
"Ahriman, that plan is terrible. The Eldar in this period are decadent and arrogant, basically the sole great race. Even assuming that they gave two shits about what you said when you spoke to them- which is frankly a stretch- there's no way in hell that they would form cults or adore you because they have no respect for non-Eldar unless you mindwipe them like I did this one. Your plan is therefore flawed and unusable."

"Kharn, your plan is awesome but the Eldar wouldn't respect the result of the match, or in all likelihood accept the terms you propose anyway."

rolled 15 = 15

>>15651399

What? But- it's not even-
TYPHUS ISN'T HERE

rolled 72 = 72

>>15651349
Rollal for this

rolled 94 = 94

>>15651409
well at an 88, we'd better find him.... presuming hes not just sitting in a dirty puddle somewhere on terra

rolled 44 = 44

>>15651399
>>15651377
DO BOTH.

>>15651399
>>15651377
Having listening to both plans, you bring up the idea of "saving" the Eldar from a massive Necron host and teaching them how, combining both ideas into one sinister scheme. Ahriman begins chuckling.

"Oh, I like that one." the sorcerer says. You mark it down and ask for the next champions to give their ideas.

A plague lord and his champions, taking Typhus' place in his absence, speak up. "We think that we had best wait until the Eldar are weak and breaking, then take advantage of them."

"That is even dumber that Kharn's idea!" Ahriman shouts. "The Eldar aren't going to weaken for millions of years! And the warp here is weak, we'll probably all die of aging in a millennium!"

"Oh shut it you Tzeentchian dork." one of the champions fires a bolter round off, which hits Ahriman in the head. The sorcerer grasps his cracked helm and falls back. Two Rubric terminators now raise their weapons in response.

rolled 63 = 63

>>15651494

KHARN! DEAL WITH THESE FAGGOTS

rolled 92 = 92

>>15651494
gentlemen please!

Plauge lord, what have i told you about bolters in MY breifing rooms?
and Ahriman, stop being a dick, I want ideas about how we can MAKE the eldar weak, the weaker they are the more they will fall to chaos.

Maybe as start a civil war, that used to work on the servants of the corpse god.

Also, I WANT PICTURES OF SPIDER MAN! JOKEAROS! GET ON IT!

rolled 70 = 70

>>15651494
turn into samul L jackson in the restaurant scene from pulp fiction

rolled 3 = 3

>>15651494
Be intimidating and shout at them before the situation gets out of control.

rolled 53 = 53

>>15651494
CAN YOU GUYS NOT KILL EACH OTHER IN THE WAR COUNCIL, WE NEED TO FIND A WAY TO MAKE THE ELDAR GO TO CHAOS, NOT BEAT EACH OTHER AND DIE IN A THOUSAND YEAR

rolled 84 = 84

>>15651494
Once again, people need telling to shut the fuck up. Ask the plague marines if they have any alternate plans. Any kind of plagues they could stealthily unleash upon the Eldar that would affect their minds, making dissension more easily accomplished.

rolled 58 = 58

>>15651494
"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!"

rolled 55 = 55

Gentlemen, we can't fight here, this is the war room!

rolled 35 = 35

>>15651538
rolling for this. Also; YOU CAN'T FIGHT IN HERE, THIS IS THE WAR ROOM!

you cant fight in here! This is the war room!

rolled 73 = 73

>>15651545
>>15651546
>Dr. Strangelove-mind

rolled 98 = 98

>>15651545
>>15651546
>>15651548
>>15651549
Oh wow.

>>15651545
>>15651546
>>15651548
>>15651549
QUADRIPLE WAR-ROOM-MIND!

rolled 55 = 55

>>15651549
>>15651548
>>15651546
>>15651545
Aha, oh wow.
Also, rolling for mind-plagues to be unleashed upon the eldar.

rolled 19 = 19

>>15651494
Give the chucklefuck who fired on him the most terrifying stare in the universe, make him shit himself, only we can do that to Ahriman!!

rolled 65 = 65

>>15651545
>>15651546
>>15651548
>>15651549

I love this quest.

rolled 82 = 82

Ok, that line HAS to be said now. No way against it.

>>15651549
>>15651548
>>15651546
>>15651545
ok, my internet bugged out just as ahriman started speaking, then as I'm reading through and fighting breaks out I think to myself "I should post the war-room quote from Dr Strange-Love, then I scroll onto those 4 posts...

DAMN YOU TZEENTCH

rolled 30 = 30

>>15651545
>>15651546
>>15651548
>>15651549
I am so glad to have been a part of this (and the first posted).

>>15651521
*GENTLEMEN YOU CAN'T FIGHT IN HERE, THIS IS THE WAR ROOM!*

You raise your voice, getting the attention of all in the room. You tell Ahriman to mind his manners and the plague champions to keep their weapons at ease.

The champions nod in compliance as Ahriman gets himself back up, the face of his helm broken and torn.

You say that you must first find a way to make the Eldar weaker. You propose the idea of a civil war within the Eldar empire. Ahriman nods.

"Well it certainly worked well enough for us." the sorcerer says. "Although we'd still have to come up with an idea for how to start such a civil conflict..."

(Well I'm going to sign off now. Will most likely be back tomorrow or the day after.)

rolled 27 = 27

>>15651668

I like your style, OP! Looking forward to the next session!

rolled 22 = 22

Archive here:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15647815/

rolled 88 = 88

>>15651668
this session was brilliant OP, stayed up until 3am just to participate.

Also, rolling to mention using some mind-plagues to make them more inclined to believe the sorcerors. Sorry, can't resist one last roll (to be used next time if i'm lucky)

>>15651778
FUCK YEAH.

rolled 22 = 22

>>15651778

YOU ROCK LIKE A. . .
LIKE A FUCKING ROCK MACHINE

fuck you you chucklefucks!

we need to ensure that the eldar fall due to slaanesh ways, else the queen bitch of the universe wont be born!

we must ensure a species wide orgy! whit BDSM, slaves and Eldar willing sacrifices and all the jazz.


A plague will get only nurgle stronger,
Ahrimnas cult will get tzeech stronger
and a civil war will get khorne stronger.

The birth of slaanesh will get us the fourth god and make all the others presence as strong as any of the above actions, due to the Eye of Terror warp rift.

What we need is to ensure a species wide orgy- to that end we shall enslave the eldar and make them do it! or something of the sorts...

>>15654673

You dumb shit, none of the gods are born yet.