rolled 94 = 94

>>15823037
Continue council meeting like nothing happened

rolled 7 = 7

>>15822966
Supporting the previous winrar

rolled 10 = 10

>>15823037
tell ahriman to blow it out his ass

rolled 47 = 47

>>15822966
DO THIS ONE OP.

rolled 76 = 76

>>15823037
This
>>15822966
also was the last thread archived

rolled 63 = 63

Tell Ahriman to calm down, everything is going just as planned.

rolled 99 = 99

>>15823083
>>15823068
Come on guys, it winrar'd once we can get it done! -seconding-

rolled 55 = 55

>>15823047
this

rolled 32 = 32

>>15823090
Well, winrar'd it did.

rolled 22 = 22

>>15823092
it is decreed

rolled 79 = 79

>>15823090
Tzeentch has spoken!

rolled 100 = 100

Where is OP

>>15823090
You grin madly and get off your seat. You ask the gathered champions if they all remember how one falls to Khorne.

The champions start smiling and laughing even more as they slowly understand your intent. You climb onto the table and walk over to the wrestling couple. You bring Sidnri down, smacking the High Seer across the face and knocking her out.

Kharn wastes no time dominated the Seer. You slowly turn your head to Ahriman, still smiling, and tell him that if he has something to say he can say it here. You also inform him that Kharn is showing the Seer his love.

Ahriman gets off his seat. He climbs onto the table. He walks up next to you.

The sorcerer removes his helmet. A smiling, pleasant face is revealing. Blood trickles down from his nose. He still smiles brightly as he brings his arm up.

Ahriman slaps you right across the face.

rolled 42 = 42

rolled 97 = 97

>>15823178
Probably busy writing the next post. We just blessed the combining of three actions, all which are in the old thread.

It's understandable that it takes a while.

rolled 34 = 34

>>15823193
its on now.

rolled 60 = 60

>>15823193
RIP HIS HEAD OFF AND STUFF HIS SOUL IN YOUR ASS PLATE.

rolled 89 = 89

>>15823193
slap back.

Get ale, sart drinking.

Initiate: Operation barFight/Crawl

rolled 3 = 3

>>15823211
THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

WE SHALL HAVE THE BEST BAR FIGHT IN THE HISTORY OF THE GALAXY

rolled 2 = 2

>>15823193
Pick him up under the arms, like a puppet, and slowly walk back to his seat, and place him there. Tell the others to make sure he remains seated until he calms down.

rolled 78 = 78

>>15823193
KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER, TURN HIM INTO A SOULPOSSESED FLAMETHROWER THEN HAND IT TO KHARN

rolled 1 = 1

>>15823211
well, I think we know what to do here.

rolled 10 = 10

>>15823193
All right... guess he really has snapped... let's go back to our seat and to tell him what the meeting is about.

This post has a pretty good list of things to discuss. >>15822782

rolled 78 = 78

>>15823193

Listen to the guy. if you got him so pissed he did something that most of your minions wouldn't do if ordered, he has right to speak

rolled 13 = 13

>>15823211
DOOOOOOO EEEEEEEET

rolled 33 = 33

>>15823193
Might have deserved that one, look Kharns doing with love and hate, what you couldn't with sorcery.

rolled 9 = 9

>>15823193
ask politely that ahriman calm down, try not to cry in front of the war council

rolled 39 = 39

>>15823226
seconding this

rolled 23 = 23

>>15823193
"All right I will come listen but just so you know, I'm returning that slap after we are done talking."

rolled 8 = 8

>>15823232
lol this is ahrimans face right now.

rolled 92 = 92

>>15823226
Seconding. We have kinda driven him too far with these things.

rolled 34 = 34

BAR FIGHT

rolled 93 = 93

>>15823230
re-roll

rolled 74 = 74

>>15823226
Do this, but also inform him that kharn did tis of his own volition and that it had nothing todo with you

rolled 1 = 1

>>15823226
yeah let's listen to him, all calm like.

then once we've finished the meeting we turn around and punch him so hard with Sindri that warp energy accumulates and hits him with a force so powerful that his helmet cracks off and he goes flying across the room finally coming to rest half embedded in a wall.

then we tell him that if he ever fucks with us again we will not only beat his arse in the physical world but we'll fuck his mind over using the warp as well.

rolled 2 = 2

>>15823211
Start operation barfight and then pull Ahriman out of the war room so you can speak.

rolled 48 = 48

>>15823256
What exactly are you rolling for? Listening to him? (i'm rolling for this btw)

>>15823269
well... fuck.

rolled 84 = 84

>>15823272
He is rolling for those words up there, and they are good ones.

rolled 44 = 44

>>15823211

REROLL

rolled 29 = 29

>>15823250
>>15823288
rolling for these then i guess

rolled 31 = 31

So it comes down to this, the barfight faction and the reasonable faction. Rolling for the favour of the gods, well may the gods bless my die, because I'm feeling reasonable today.

Rolling for saying this >>15823230 followed by listening to Ahriman.

rolled 31 = 31

>>15823230
rolling for this. Reason must prevail for once!

>>15823256
You realize you might have had that coming.

You crane your head back and tell Ahriman that Kharn is managing to convert the High Seer to chaos with just emotion, while he failed with sorcery.

Ahriman, still smiling, laughs. "Oh you mean the sorcery I never got to use because I was waiting for you to have a say beforehand? How silly of me!" he says, cheerfully "Well I suppose your decision of letting Kharn shove his dick into one of the most powerful and majestic mental beings in the galaxy is much better than anything I could have thought up if you had asked me."

Ahriman slaps you again. Hard.

"FUCK YOU FAILBADDON!"

rolled 11 = 11

>>15823374
Once Again: RIP. HIS. HEAD. OFF. CONSUME HIS SOUL AND IMBUNE IT IN YOUR ASS PLATE.

rolled 16 = 16

>>15823374
Next time he attempts to slap you, grab his arm with Sindri.

rolled 45 = 45

>>15823374
>FUCK YOU FAILBADDON!"
Someone is going to die today.

rolled 82 = 82

>>15823396
Okay.. Rerolling.

rolled 91 = 91

>>15823374
"CALM YOUR PUSSY ASS DOWN ITS THE HEIGHT OF THE ELDAR EMPIRE, THERE ARE PROBABLY BILLIONS MORE YOU CAN FUCK WITH. NOW SIT THE FUCK BACK DOWN."
At that point slap him right back into his chair.

rolled 61 = 61

>>15823374
"All right, so I might have had a little too much fun, but I'm trying to make up for it here. I listened to your reports, I called the meeting, what more do you ask for!"

Prepare for another slap, let him get it out of his system.

rolled 47 = 47

>>15823374

Failbaddon is right. Realise you have to sort shit out and calm this shit down. Tell kharn to take this else where. Tell the fucking council we need to get shit together and plan this crusade properly. Ask arihman for suggestions.

rolled 69 = 69

>>15823374
BAR
FIGHT

rolled 53 = 53

>>15823374

Tell him that if he has a plan for what we should do now, after he fucked up and sent us too far back into the past, he should share it with the class like a big boy.

rolled 58 = 58

>>15823374

I retract all previous statements of reasonable listening. he made fun of past failures. he wants a psychological battle? fine. remind him who fucked up the thousand sons by turning them into something that looks more at home in a dustbin.

rolled 44 = 44

FAILBADDON

HE CALLED FAILBADDON

NOBODY CALLS ABADASS THAT

USE THE ARM

rolled 55 = 55

>>15823374
Ahriman has a crush on the seer, I'm sure he has one

rolled 19 = 19

>>15823396
Rolling for this. Also, remind him who's in charge here. You appreciate his help, but he has to acknowledge that it isn't HIS crusade. He will have his chance with the thousands of eldar captives. But when we took a look at the Seer, we instantly noticed that Khorne held some sway over her already. We simply introduced Kharn, and Khorne began to take control. It IS regrettable that none have yet fallen to Tzeentch, so perhaps Arhiman would like to sit down, and share his ideas to remedy this.

rolled 87 = 87

>>15823419
>>15823424
>>15823431

THESE!

>Captcha - coolis 99

rolled 13 = 13

>>15823419
This followed by
>>15823396
Followed by
>>15823409

rolled 49 = 49

>>15823435
holy crap... It all makes sense now. FUCKING LOVE TRIANGLE

Pull Ahriman aside and ask him if this is the case

rolled 50 = 50

>>15823452

This, except now Khorne should bless this roll!

rolled 39 = 39

>>15823452
Khorne is taunting you, let me call him out properly.

KHORNE!

rolled 52 = 52

>>15823449
Re-rolling for this. If he doesn't cooperate, slap him unconscious with SIIIIIINDRIIIIIIII

(Gotta have dinner, will be back in thirty minutes)

rolled 30 = 30

>>15823469
rollan for this.
not because i believe it possible, but to troll ahriman.

rolled 89 = 89

>>15823475

Khorne is taunting us, though obviously he wants this to happen.

KHORNE, LORD OF SKULLS, WE CALL ON YOU!

rolled 31 = 31

>>15823477
>>15823452
These, if you can make it work

rolled 24 = 24

>>15823469
Oh the lulz that will be had, begin the conversation with.

"I'm sorry I didn't realise it sooner but, do you love that eldar bitch too?"

rolled 30 = 30

>>15823383

Get out of here, Malal.

Ahriman does make a good point, we've been dicking around, and don't have any coherent long-terms plans yet. We need to get on that right away.

Let Kharn do his own thing for now and rejoin us later. We need to seriously plan.

rolled 68 = 68

>>15823452
>>15823496

Averages of rolls count, right?

Come on Khorne! Throw us a freakin' bone here!

rolled 92 = 92

>>15823374
Grab Ahriman by the throat and lift him. We can't have him slap the High Warlord in front of all our champions.

"Say Ahriman, is it possible that Tzeentch has sent you onto a very,very special path, interwoven with that of one certain Eldar?

And, if that is the case - WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU JUST FUCKING MAKE UP YOUR MIND, LOWLIFE?!"

rolled 67 = 67

>>15823496
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!

NOW STOP TAUNTING US KHORNE!

rolled 68 = 68

>>15823452

This makes sense - shows him we want to make up for fucking around, but also that we will make him look like a retard in front of the Council, because it's us in charge.

rolled 66 = 66

>>15823452
seconding

rolled 72 = 72

AND WHO THE CHUCKLEFUCK WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR TURNING THEIR ENTIRE FUCKING LEGION INTO GODDAMN AUTOMATONS!?

Punch his shit. pray CREEEEEEEED doesn't come out

rolled 50 = 50

>>15823530
Well I guess that's over, but to be honest I thought Slaanesh would bless the love triangle.

rolled 53 = 53

>>15823530

Where Khorne would not aid us, Slaanesh, understanding the emotions of love that Kharn is feeling, and the jealousy that Tzeetch-boy is feeling, comes to our aid!

Also, rerollan!

rolled 17 = 17

>>15823374
You needed my say to use your magic? Take some initiative, like Kharn. look I know I've been taxing your sanity, but lighten up, maybe your getting jelous that she's going to Khorn intead of tzeentch

rolled 99 = 99

I agree with hearing him out and all.

but after this meeting is adjourned, but before anyone leaves we make it our personal duty to show Ahriman the meaning of pain, pain so intense that it would make slaanesh cry, a pain that couldn't be dispensed by anyone other than a God made Mortal.

We need to SLAP. HIS. SHIT.

but only after we've been reasonable first.

rolled 21 = 21

>>15823542

Aye, it's over now, it seems - still, that works out pretty well :D

Also, seconding the Slaanesh blessed one, but adding that, according to Captcha
>colony rojobi
We shall make a colony on Earth, and it shall be named Rojobi.

rolled 96 = 96

>>15823556
>>15823530

OMFG, both Tzeentch and Slaanesh support this path of reconciliation!

:D

Second both of them!

rolled 66 = 66

>>15823569
I still say we should populate Earth and become our own ancestors.

rolled 21 = 21

>>15823587

Slaanesh agrees, brother!

Seconded!

rolled 27 = 27

>>15823582

I agree. We've dicked around for long enough. Time to get down to business.

rolled 15 = 15

Just checking - what happens if multiple 66/77/88/99 are rolled? Do we use both suggestions? Or just the one that's the highest doubles? Or the one that was rolled first?

Admittedly, both the Slaanesh triple-suggestion-combined and the Tzeetch one are effectively the same, I'm just curious :P

rolled 77 = 77

This is entire thread is fucking insane.

(and I love every minute of it)

rolled 17 = 17

>>15823632
only the first one counts, or something like that

>>15823644
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

rolled 71 = 71

>>15823655

Ahh, fairy snuff!

Means someone's second made my triple-combined-suggestion-second win, if that's the case! :D

rolled 22 = 22

>>15823644

ONLY KHORNE HAS NOT BLESSED US. 88 GOOOO!

rolled 91 = 91

>>15823644
>>15823587
>>15823556
>>15823530
So many blessed rolls.

rolled 34 = 34

OH FUCK YOU BASTARDS

rolled 76 = 76

>>15823685

And other than the "you are all insane" post, the Slaanesh and Tzeentch ones are pretty much the same - which is cool.

Khorne's obviously being a whiny bitch because his favoured champion prefers giving Eldar girls a good dicking to killing and taking skulls now - Slaanesh must be fucking pissing himself laughing!

>Captcha - Homeless peepsfl

Captcha's right - with no humans on Earth, and no Eye of Terror, we're homeless peeps!

rolled 53 = 53

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! RIP HIS SPINE OUT AND BEAT HIM TO DEATH WITH IT!

rolled 5 = 5

>>15823727

Khorne has forsaken you - indulge your love for the Eldar pussy, Slaanesh would never keep you away from that...

rolled 7 = 7

>>15823727
listen, Abaddon buisy being a Reasonable Marine, save the slaughter for the enemy

rolled 13 = 13

look khorne, we're being reasonable now, but its been posted that after listening we slap his shit. if you bless us, we can slap his tzeentchian shit even harder, and we can do it in your name. just, think about this.

rolled 42 = 42

>>15823798

Damn straight - we've got Malal people to butcher, we need to keep the Champions on-side...

at least, until we can replace him - we can't let him get away with bitch-slapping us.

rolled 29 = 29

So we're all in agreement then?

Be reasonable for now.

Save the slapping shit for later.

rolled 40 = 40

>>15823853
Seems like it

rolled 52 = 52

>>15823853

We pretty much do these:
>>15823556
>>15823530

Then do this later
>>15823587

rolled 26 = 26

>>15823853

Well, this post - >>15823530 - set what we're doing - we're being reasonable, but also putting him in his place by making him look like a bitch to the others.

>Captcha - Ackerm Agrippa

We should attack the Agrippa Sector, as well as being reasonable and shit! :D

>>15823908
The sorcerer drops down off the table. "Well fuck you Failbaddon! Because I'm going to leave your shitty crusade! Me and my forces are going to find the Eldar and convert them ourselves!" he shouts "SCREW YOU GUYS, I'M GOING TO THE MAIDEN WORLDS!"

Ahriman strides straight out of the throneroom, slamming open the doors and exiting. His fellow sorcerers stare blankly for a bit before leaving themselves.

rolled 39 = 39

>>15823920
well......shit

rolled 16 = 16

>>15823908

Dude, he kicked typhus! not cool. GO SLAP HIS SHIT AND GET HIS SORCERERS BACK ON YOUR SIDE.

rolled 19 = 19

>>15823920
PUNCH THE WARP.
BRING THEM BACK LIKE A BOOMERANG.
SLAP THEIR SHIT UNTIL THEY KNOW THEIR PLACE.

rolled 75 = 75

... Well that was something.

rolled 46 = 46

>>15823920
make sure he dosen't leave the ship alive.

rolled 98 = 98

>>15823941
REROLLING. ALSO ORDER YOUR WAR COUCIL TO AID IN ARHIMANS PUNISHMENT.

rolled 45 = 45

>>15823933
seconded
We listened, now we can go slap his shit!

rolled 42 = 42

Maybe we shouldn't have slapped him around so much.

As much as we like to make him our punching bag, Ahriman really is a powerful resource, and it'd be a good idea to get him back on our side.

Don't really know HOW... but still.

rolled 67 = 67

WTF? Seriously?

Tell his sorcerers that they are betraying the Lords of Chaos if they leave with the fail-sorcerer. Also tell them that you now need a new chief sorcerer and Champion of Tzeetch, one that will be given rewards and glory by both ourselves and Tzeentch if they stay with us.

If Ahriman won't work with us, perhaps one of them will.

Also - set up colony on Earth and begin our creation of the human race.

>>15823908
>>15823920
Time to Man the fuck up. And be all Perfect leader and shit.

be very disciplined, tell Kharn to knock that shit off with the eldar and to sit back down with the council.

Then begin discussing and implementing plans to use the Eldar as our new psychic/warp users, also cross-breeding to produce some nicely powered Marines, maybe get the Jokaero to rig up a machine of some sort to help create a new psyker contingent.

Now that Ahriman has gone we can stop worrying about his fuck-ups and get on with ruling the universe.

After setting some of our plans in motion we ask for suggestions from the council regarding all things important at the moment.

we can still party like we used to but we need to how that fuck up Ahriman that we're the big boss and that no-one, NO ONE calls us Failbaddon and lives long enough to feel smug about it. ( I suggest we do this by foiling his plans at every turn and generally being a dick to him until he challenges us to a duel)

rolled 50 = 50

>>15823954
FUCKING TZEENTCH TAUNTS US! GRANT US THIS ROLL O WISE ONE

rolled 67 = 67

>>15823973
forgot my roll...

rolled 8 = 8

>>15823908
All right, we have been reasonable, and this is what we get.

FUCK!
THAT!
SHIT!

Run after him and get him back into the war room this moment, and get him to understand that HE was the one who fucked up in the first place and the HE was being punished for doing so, and that WE won't take this shit after we finally cut HIM some chaos dammed slack!

rolled 84 = 84

>>15823970

Seconded! Ahriman was a failure who fucked up his own Chapter - there has to be a sorcerer of equal talent that Tzeetch will bless more than he.

rolled 56 = 56

I would say that an apology is in order, but that'd make us look weak to the rest of the war council.

Hmm, quite a quandary he put us in here.

Perhaps we can remind him that we're currently stuck in this backwards time period, with the Chaos gods weak (as he said himself), and he really has no other allies or resources other than those with our crusade. It's in our best interests to work together.

rolled 31 = 31

>>15823973
seconding trolling Ahriman to the Eye and back.

rolled 55 = 55

>>15823980
Rolling for this. Also, summon him back by PUNCHING THE WARP. Yknow, like the old days.

rolled 46 = 46

>>15823993
We already did apologised, and he gave us a fuck you in response.

SO LET'S DO THIS >>15823980

Gotta tell you the truth, Ahriman makes a veeeeeeerrrryyyy good point.

Really, like him more than anybody else right now.

rolled 2 = 2

>>15823970

What he said!

rolled 93 = 93

this
>>15824011
and if that fails:
>>15823973

rolled 65 = 65

If he pulled this shit earlier than he would've been completely justified, because honestly we were acting like an incompetent asshole earlier (seriously, fuck you guys who kept suggesting "RAPERAPERAPE" every other post), but now? Right after we conceded to his protestations?

Dude has a terrible sense of timing. (In more way than one, obviously)

rolled 43 = 43

>>15824027
>Dude has a terrible sense of timing.
I chuckled.

rolled 37 = 37

>>15824020
This. After all, in the entire crusade, he's fucked up the most. fucking prehistoric terra....

rolled 76 = 76

>>15823970

Seconded - if Ahriman wants to be a pussy and run off, let him - we don't have the time or resources to fight amongst ourselves, when we have a galaxy to conquer!

rolled 31 = 31

ORALLY PLEASURE TYPHUS

rolled 16 = 16

>>15823933

Re-Rollan

rolled 7 = 7

Send Kharn and Typhus after him - I'm sure after a good hard raping by Khorne and Nurgle's favoured champions, he'll start showing us some respect.

Otherwise, just kill him and get another Tzeentch sorcerer to replace him.

rolled 64 = 64

>>15824027
I couldn't agree more.

>>15824011
Rolling for this.

rolled 78 = 78

>>15824071

REROLLAN!

rolled 87 = 87

>>15824011
Also seconding this. We need to start warp-punching again.

rolled 24 = 24

Let Ahriman leave. It's the only he's going to learn.

Continue war council.

rolled 70 = 70

WHY MUST THE CHAOS GODS TAUNT US LIKE THIS?

PLEASE, LORDS, BLESS OUR CHOICE!

Replace Ahriman, and then kill him and his followers.

>Captcha - logical owlexpe

rolled 75 = 75

Announce to leaving sorcerors that they may have pick of your orifices if they stay.

Lay seductively as you state this.

rolled 9 = 9

Well I think we can confirm now.

Ahriman is indeed mad.

rolled 61 = 61

>>15824086
Khorne is taunting us, WHY!?

WE ARE TRYING TO PUNCH THE WARP AND THEN PUNCH AHRIMAN DAMMIT! (with some talking in between)

rolled 13 = 13

>>15823933

THIS!

rolled 61 = 61

>>15824017

Oh he makes a very good point. Which we were just about to follow, when he just goes "FUCK YOU GUYS I'M OUT OF HERE" instead of sticking around to make sure that we keep our shit together.

Basically, we're just pissed that he's ragequitting instead of being a team player.

rolled 45 = 45

>>15824011
Fuck all of this Khorne taunting, I will just call for Nurgle to bless the bloody roll, he is usually a pretty cool guy.

rolled 54 = 54

>>15823933

Seconded!

>>15824143

He's not a team player - never has been. He does shit for him, because he runs an entire legion of robots who do whatever he wants them to do. He's a selfish prick.

rolled 4 = 4

>>15823933

This.

And why someone using my username too - fucking stop it, it's annoying.

rolled 29 = 29

>>15824123
WARP PUNCH!!!! GET AHRIMAN BACK IN HERE AND PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. REMIND HIM WHO'S WARMASTER OF CHAOS. THEN PUT HIM ON JOKAERO DUTY.

rolled 73 = 73

>>15824193
Also, time to find ourselves a new head sorcerer.

rolled 71 = 71

AND THIS IS WHERE NODABBA BECOMES THE CHAMPION OF TZEENTCH AND ARHIMAN BECOMES STRIPPED OF HIS POWERS.

rolled 86 = 86

Carry on without him, he was always a hindrance anyway, this just gives us an excuse to beat the fuck out of him the very next time we see him (not like we really needed an excuse, we do it all the time anyway).

Also, we need to find a way to properly corrupt the Eldar and turn them into our personal fighting force. (and if we can limit the amount of energy this corruption gives to tzeentch that should royally fuck over Ahriman as well)

>>15823954
Anger fills you after Ahriman insults. You transfer this rage to your arm, which you then swing through the air.

A small rip in the warp is formed by this blow. You punch Sidnri through the tear, sending screeching ripples and causing immaterium goo to splatter.

You grab onto several things and drag them out with Sindri. Ahriman and his cabal now lay before you, shocked by the sudden change. You then swing Sindri, slapping Ahriman straight across the face.

You turn to the warcouncil and tell them to assist in punishing these fools. The champions rush towards Ahriman and his cabal, and begin wailing on the sorcerers. Punches and kick are swung at them.

Ahriman, after being smashed in the face with Sindri, suddenly lets out a roar. "ENOUGH!"

The sorcerer lets out a psychic wave. The blast hits the surrounding champions, sending them flying back, across the table and into walls. You get knocked back into several chairs that are toppled and crushed by your weight.

Ahriman and his cabal have now drawn their force weapons and bolters. "What the FUCK do you want Abaddon?! EH?! What the fuck are you dragging me back for?! Do you want to die, because I can gladly grant that wish!" he yells

rolled 59 = 59

>>15824236
rolling for Kharn getting his act together and shouting

"SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH, ABADDON IS MAKING A POINT YOU FUCKTARD"

rolled 72 = 72

Remind him that this is the peak of the Eldar Empire - there are plenty more seers out there, and he shall be gifted the next one if he continues in our service.

Also remind him that all he has are a bunch of automatons - he needs you just as much as we need him.

Otherwise, if he says no, have Kharn + Typhus rape and kill him, and replace him with our sonaughter.

rolled 100 = 100

>>15824268

Seconded

rolled 53 = 53

>>15824236
WE STARTED BY TRYING TO HAVE SOME FUN WITH THIS CRUSADE, WE HAD JUST STARTED THE FIRST STAGES OF CONVERTING THE ELDAR, YOU HURLED US BACK TO BEFORE THE EYE OF TERROR, STARNDING US HERE, AND TALKED DOWN TO US THE WHOLE TIME, AND EVEN CALL ME FAILBADDON, AND JUST WHEN DECIDE TO THROW YOU A BONE YOU RAGE-QUIT ON US!! I DON'T THINK SO!!

rolled 76 = 76

>>15824236
Fucking Starscream.

I suggest we blast him with warp powers form Sindri, then after we've done blasting him we ask where his psyker powers are now? and why he takes every damn opportunity to try and piss us off and fuck up the plan.

rolled 6 = 6

Yell at him to CALM THE FUCK DOWN, and have Tzeentch paralyse him with terror at our rage!

rolled 9 = 9

>>15824268

This - ideally we need him, but if he refuses... SODOMY TIME! :D

rolled 45 = 45

>>15824304
>>15824286
>>15824275
>>15824255
ALL OF THEM!

rolled 5 = 5

Let's let him go. He technically doesn't even serve us. The only reason he's been working with us this whole time is because he wanted to, and now he doesn't. Let's not be a complete asshole and kill him just because he called us a few names.

rolled 49 = 49

>>15824314
Fuck that, ALLL OF THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS!
Also, eat a bannana suggestively.

rolled 53 = 53

>>15824314
ALL!!
YES I MAD!!

rolled 77 = 77

>>15824275

Seconding, and hoping for the blessing of Tzeetch!

>Captcha: enormous actionyt

That's what Kharn is getting right now with his Eldar pussy - OH YEAH!

rolled 83 = 83

Stare at him until he starts having fits form the sheer power our eyes give out, then tell typhus to kick the shit out of him fro a while, get Kharn to take his new Girlfriend somewhere more appropriate and that you'll be re-adjourning the war council when the jokaero have secured Ahriman so that he can't move and have created a device that prevents him using his warp majik.

oh and have them throw in an Electrocute button, you know, just in case he gets rowdy.

rolled 17 = 17

>>15824322
Rolling for this.

rolled 79 = 79

>>15824338

Or Nurgle - Nurgle's good too! :P Sounds like Typhus want's some Ahriman ass!

rolled 72 = 72

>>15824338
>pray's for Tzeentch
>gets Nurgle

rolled 49 = 49

>>15824338

*looks at watch*

Let's fill him with some of Nurgle's puss! ;D

>>15824286

WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM

rolled 43 = 43

>>15824236
You are a valuable asset to the Crusade and I cannot you go, Ahzek.

You need to be more upfront with your complaints If you want them taken with complete seriousness.

rolled 92 = 92

>>15824398

OH LOOK AT THAT I FORGOT TO ROLL

rolled 62 = 62

>>15824354

Nurgle obviously wants to fuck with Tzeetch's champion :P

SO IT IS WRITTEN, SO IT SHALL BE!

rolled 85 = 85

Where r OP?

Abaddon should send a rescue party out to look for the OP - because OP is more important than Ahriman, for he has the power of the gods!

>>15824268
>Supported with 100 and 77

Well looks like we're going with this.

>>15824338
You remind Ahriman that there will be plenty of Seers to go around, and that he needs your allegiance as all he has are his rubric servants.

Ahriman hisses. "I don't give a shit. I'm not going to be fighting in this shitty crusade of yours." he says "I'm sick of you and I'm going on my own path! SO FUCK OFF!"

Ahriman turns his back and begins marching out. You turn your head to Typhus, who has his manreaper in his hands.

You nod.

Typhus walks over to Ahriman as he leaves. The traveler swings his scythe, burrowing it straight into the sorcerer's anus. Ahriman screams as blood gushes from his ass and soon from his mouth. Typhus drags him out into the hall and closes the door.

You quickly vox Kharn and tell him to get back here and help Typhus out. You hear the slashing of blades against armour, soon followed by blades against flesh and the hum of chain.

Ahriman screams his final. "NOO! ABADDOOOON!!!"

Once he is dead, Typhus and Kharn re-enter the throneroom. Their armour is coated with blood and chunks of armour and flesh can be found on their weapons. Ahriman's cabal simply stand in a mix of shock and horror.

"So...." Eliphas say "Back to discussions..."

rolled 67 = 67

I can just imagine our sonaughter all dressed up like an Egyptian, having so much fun leading the psychic assault on the enemy.

rolled 45 = 45

>>15824480
Summon my sonaughter, he'll be taking charge of Ahrimans duties.

rolled 33 = 33

>>15824480
Resurect him, threaten to do that to him over and over again if he doesn't change his mind.

rolled 94 = 94

>>15824480
Good job guys. You just killed our only voice of reason and the only one who knew how to do time travel.

>>15824480

Goddammit. I wish we could've kept him, but no. Ahriman just had to be an arrogant prick.

rolled 11 = 11

*turn to those of Ahriman's cabal*

So, now that that has been taken care of, one of you shall become Tzeetch's champion, and chief sorcerer of the council!

Also - back to fucking business - invasion and corruption of the heart of the Eldar Empire... the area that will, in future, be known as the Eye of Terror - also, colonise Earth.

>Captcha - contribute atioyst

rolled 97 = 97

Do these now, ignoring stuff mentioning Arhiman.
>>15823973
>>15823587

rolled 36 = 36

>>15824510
I'm going to borrow roll, since your not using it.
we do this>>15824506

rolled 87 = 87

This:
>>15824506
And if he says no, and we put him in a loop of death:
>>15824496

rolled 83 = 83

>>15824510

He didn't leave us much choice. We tried to be reasonable, he spat in our face, we got rid of the conflict so we can continue with our planning.

Time to get down to business.
>organize long term plans for corruption of the Eldar and strengthening of Chaos
>Interrogate that Malal cultist we got from planetside

rolled 22 = 22

>>15824546

I agree

rolled 88 = 88

>>15824506
This

rolled 24 = 24

Do we really want Noddaba in charge? We don't know the full extent of his/her/its powers, and it hasn't been trained at all. It's prone to just randomly flying off the handle and killing anything around it, which isn't really conducive to a leadership position.

rolled 99 = 99

>>15824480
Point to the remaining sorcerers. "For now on you will follow my instructions, I will assign one of you to be that filth replacement, for now." then turn to the rest of the council. "Disobedience will result in similar punishment. Now then, we set course for the Eldar homeworlds. Dismissed." Have servants gather the remains of Ahriman and put them into a jar, maybe we can do something with it later.

rolled 50 = 50

>>15824573

Ah, there we go.

rolled 33 = 33

>>15824506

Seconded.

rolled 95 = 95

>>15824582

Tzeentch agrees with you - Obvious it is the will of the Changer of Ways that Ahriman remain dead, is replaced, and we get on with it!

rolled 21 = 21

>>15824582

HOLY SHIT YES.

TZEENTCH IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME YOU GOT YOUR FEATHERED ASS IN HERE TO HELP OUT.

>>15824480
wait did he ever bring back the khornate eldar back to life?

rolled 97 = 97

>>15824592

Shit son, triple 33?

rolled 86 = 86

>>15824582
Too late Khorn beat you to the punch.

>>15824573
You turn around and walk out of the throneroom. You find Ahriman's corpse lying out in the hall, bloodied and mutilated beyond measure.

You reach down with Sindri and grasp the dead sorcerer's neck. With all your fury, you begin squeezing down on the remains of the throat. Warp energies spark out from your fingers as they carve into the astarte's flesh.

Suddenly, a burst of raging warp energy fills the corpse. Ahriman's eyes spark as life enters his body once more.

The first thing he feels is pain.

Your fingers sinking into his neck he begins choking and spitting our blood. You lower yourself and look at him, hatred in your eyes. You tell Ahriman in your harshest voice than he will continue to feel this burning agony if he doesn't change his mind.

Ahriman looks back, a look of loathing replacing a look of pain. He spits out a few words. "Fine....you...fu.....cking......"

Ahriman passes out. His cabal, hearing him speak, rush over to the mangled sorcerer to assist him. You release your grip on Ahriman and turn back to the war council.

rolled 17 = 17

>>15824726
Can we switch this to AhrimanQuest? I'm rooting for him now.

rolled 48 = 48

>>15824726
what happened to the fucking khornate eldar? i just want to know if he was brought back to life or not

rolled 68 = 68

>>15824726

"Now that that's been taken care of, where were we?"

>Eldar corruptin'
>Malal cultist interrogatin'

rolled 11 = 11

>>15824726

Aw shit guys, he's just going to hate us more now.

I guess we can take his advice and get our act together, he might be more inclined to listen to us then if he sees we've turned this around in the meantime.

rolled 76 = 76

>>15824726
Just as planned. now. lets tow a moon sized chunk of warpstone into terras orbet, we shall call it Morrslieb.

yes. you begin to see now. Chaos is the beginning. the end, CHAOS IS FOREVER THE ALL.

rolled 88 = 88

>>15824735
Is hard not to feel sorry for him in some way

>>15824742
(NOPE, HE'S STILL A CORPSE)

rolled 39 = 39

Back to business now - put plan in motion to colonise the Earth, and to invade the part of the Eldar Empire that will, in future, be the Eye of Terror.

rolled 33 = 33

>>15824778
well, that was unexpected

rolled 2 = 2

>>15824785

This.

rolled 45 = 45

>>15824773
fools... do you not see?
>rolling for it

rolled 24 = 24

>>15824778

See, even Khorne feels sorry for him now!

(what the fuck is going on in this thread I don't even know anymore)

rolled 59 = 59

>>15824778
Well shit.

rolled 42 = 42

>>15824785

Stop, Invading Time!

rolled 30 = 30

Yes, we got a blessing from Slaanesh to populate Earth and become our own ancestors. Time to put that into action. It'll also give us a proper base of operations

rolled 35 = 35

>>15824726
Just loike old times, huh Eliphas.

rolled 12 = 12

>>15824754

This!

rolled 13 = 13

>>15824826
Rolling for this. This also has the added benefit of making the human race begin corrupted by the seed of chaos. Also, how long has it been since we impregnated our waifu? we probably need to have a time jump once in a while otherwise nothing will ever come of that

rolled 42 = 42

>>15824844
She's still pregnant with our second child, it's going at a natural rate.

rolled 13 = 13

>>15824844
Secondin'

rolled 98 = 98

>>15823973
>>15824844
these.

>>15824778
>>15824735
(well fuck)

You are Ahzek Ahriman. Sorcerer of the Red Cyclops, former Chief Librarian, Son of Magnus, leader of a Thousand Sons warband.

You see your sorcerers rush to your aid as Abaddon walks away, his back turned to you. You feel hatred boil up in you as you stare at the Warmaster. Hatred for his incompetence, his foolishness and his rash actions.

Blood dribbles from your mouth as your anger rises. One of your sorcerers speaks. "My lord, can you hear me?!"

What now, sorcerer?

(in case you're wondering, no this won't be permanent)

rolled 97 = 97

>>15824936
Yes I can hear you. Come. We must time travel to back before we even set forward on this crusade and prevent it from happening.

rolled 25 = 25

>>15824936

Consider slapping Abaddon's shit. Decide you like your anus where it is and bitchslap your sorcerer instead before returning to the chamber.

rolled 41 = 41

>>15824936
"Yes I can hear you. Now please heal me up so I can secretly plot Abaddon's downfall."

>>15824964
I love this thread

rolled 86 = 86

>>15824936

It's our turn now. Punch the warp and pull out any7thing you can, and hope it's Khaine.

rolled 10 = 10

>>15824936
We get on our feet and start hurling fireballs into the war-room.

rolled 64 = 64

>>15824964

Because there's no way that we can fuck up time travel again and make our situation worse, right?

No, we heal ourselves and bide our time, planning. We will have our revenge.

rolled 45 = 45

>>15824936
YES I CAN HEAR YOU!!, Returne to the counsule make your hatred clear, but wait for Abaddon to speak.

rolled 88 = 88

>>15824964
NO YOU FUCKING FUCKDAMNED FUCKER.
GODDAMNIT. SHADDUP.

we do as Abaddon wants.

>>15824999
Aha, oh wow.

>>15824999
KHORNE
HAS SPOKEN

rolled 63 = 63

>>15825018

Take your seat.
Fart loudly.
Make sure everyone can hear it.

rolled 27 = 27

>>15825018

Well now we can see why Abaddon has been so pissed at us for fucking up the time-jump in the first place.

This quest has the most "I don't want that to happen, let me roll an 88 and undo suggestions I don't like" that I've ever seen in any quest.

Just an observation

>>15825035
BEHOLD THE POWERS OF FUCKING RAGE.

rolled 58 = 58

for some reason this opening speach comes to mind.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoHoGHyGhiQ&feature=related

>>15824999
Rage continues to fill you as you watch Abaddon take his seat at war council.

You hate the Warmaster. Oh how you hate him. You can the rage simmering through your body, ready to burst out and rip him to shreds. You probably could do that with a little bit of sorcery...

You despise him even more than that bastard Magnus. However, despite all this anger towards Abaddon for killing you and holding back your plans, you remember one thing.

You are necessary. Abaddon needs you, and you need to do as he asks to keep the crusade running smoothly. You may utterly loathe him but you'll still need to comply with whatever he wants if you have any hope of having chaos rule the galaxy before it's own manifestation.

Although burning with rage you put the hate aside. Revenge will just have to wait another day....

"My lord Ahriman, CAN YOU HEAR ME?!" another sorcerer shouts

rolled 67 = 67

>>15825094
YES!!! I CAN FUCKING HEAR YOU!!!!! NOW FINISH HEALING ME DUMBASS!!!!!!!!

rolled 15 = 15

>>15825094
Yes, I can, hear you... we bide our time and obay our lords orders.

rolled 30 = 30

>>15825094

SMACK THE BITCH WHO KEEPS ASKING YOU

rolled 100 = 100

>>15825094
Give in to the rage. Fall to Khorne.

For now that is.

rolled 87 = 87

>>15825094
someone get me some whiskey i need to think

rolled 3 = 3

>>15825123

Rollan so we can SLAP HIS SHIT

>>15825117
The sorcerer jumps back a bit and stammers. "Y-yes, my lord!"

The cabal begins working their sorceries on your body. Warp energies warp around your broke flesh and slowly begin mending it. You watch as the war council begins. The champions seem to be discussing... something.

>>15825154
(GODDAMMIT)

rolled 56 = 56

>>15825171

This
>>15825033

>>15825196
I KNOW RIGHT? THE ONE TIME I'VE POSTED ANYTHING IN THIS QUEST, YET ALONE ROLLED; AND MY TIME SPENT LURKING IS WASTED. HNNNNG

rolled 14 = 14

>>15825171
use our own powers to listen in on the council

rolled 80 = 80

>>15825171
Finish healing, get in on the convesation, See if Abaddon is actualy going to listen, if he does, hate him just slightly less.

rolled 8 = 8

>>15825154
THIS

THEN PLOT REVENGE WHILE STILL SERVING ABADDON FOR NOW

rolled 52 = 52

>>15825249
FUCK, RE-ROLLING

rolled 97 = 97

In the grim darkness of the far future's distant past, my mind is filled only with fuck.

rolled 52 = 52

>Be Abbaddon

Continue on with your 5 point plan, as the seers listen eagerly
"Now we've already a number of our cultists and silver tongued marines off speaking with the thousands of prisoners, who we hope, with your help, will be as receptive and accepting to the gifts of chaos. Afterall, as we'd explained before, Terra is our homeworld, and it was unfortunate that our first interaction was one of war. We, as speakers for the Chaos Gods, are very happy with the events as they are now. That the Eldar have been taking in the teachings of chaos, as well as assisting us when we had our missing marines, proves that we as allies can coexist perfectly."

>>15825220
The sorcerers quickly finish with their healing. You get up onto your feet, although you still ache from your wounds. You turn to the throneroom and waltz inside.

"....and then we deepstrike the portals onto the enslavers!" Typhus finishes

"I have heard some fucking retarded ideas in my life, but that one takes the cake." Eliphas states

All the champions turn their heads to you as they notice you entering the room. You take your seat once more, and Abaddon stares at you froma cross the table.

"So Ahriman." he says "Do you have any "brilliant ideas" you wish to share?"

rolled 99 = 99

SUDDENLY TZEENTCHIAN WHISPERS FILL YOUR MIND AND YOU UNDERSTAND THE LOGIC OF LORD ABADDON. YOU ARE STILL ANNOYED BY HIM, BUT YOU NO LONGER HATE HIM. FUCKING TZEENTCH MAN.

rolled 80 = 80

>>15825327

Still rolling for fart loudly.
Then mutter angrily that you would like to hear Abaddon's idea first.

rolled 53 = 53

>>15825329
No.
Fucking.
Way.

rolled 68 = 68

>>15825329
>FUCKING TZEENTCH MAN.
...
What the fuck man

rolled 40 = 40

>>15825329

rolled 89 = 89

>>15825329
....TZEENTCH WILLS IT!

Reality has to be fraying from all the Chaos fuckery.

rolled 11 = 11

>>15825351

Plans within plans within plans, man

rolled 30 = 30

>>15825379
plans within plans within plans within gears

rolled 33 = 33

>>15825329
next thing you know slaanesh will be born.

rolled 69 = 69

>>15825410
Bam, 66, make it so.

rolled 10 = 10

>>15825452
He's teasing you!
FUCKING SLAANESH MAN.

>>15825329
As you are about to speak, you suddenly hear the whispers of the warp caress your mind. It is a familiar feeling.

*NOW AHRIMAN...* Tzeentch begins *I KNOW THAT YOU THINK ABADDON IS A TOTAL FUCKTARD, AND HE IS. BUT IT'S NOT HIS FAULT*

The god of change's vocie fills your head. *NOW YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT ABADDON CAN'T REALLY CONTROL HIS ACTIONS. SOMETIMES HE'LL BE RATIONAL, OTHER TIMES HE'LL JUST GO NUTS AND START FUCKING EVERYTHING* Tzeentch says *IT'S LIKE HE HAS A HUNDRED VOICES IN HIS HEAD, ARGUING OVER WHAT TO DO. SOME WANT TO SCHEME, OTHERS WANT TO JUST SEE SHIT GO BOOM, AND WHICH EVER THOUGHT STANDS STRONGEST IS THE ONE WHICH PREVAILS*

Tzeentch continues. *SURE HE'S A RAPEY-RAPEY KILL CRAZY SOMETIMES, BUT HE ALSO WANTS TO SEE CHAOS' PLANS SUCCEED. IT'S UP TO YOU TO BE REASONABLE DEVIL ON HIS SHOULDER, TO REMIND HIM WHEN SHIT HAS GONE TO FAR AND KEEP HIS EYE ON THE BALL*

As you Tzeentch's words you begin the understand. The hate slowly begins to leave you as you realize the logic of Abaddon.

You look at the Warmaster and smile.

------------

"Actually Abaddon, I think I would like to hear your idea first." Ahriman says, smiling oddly.

*JUST AS PLANNED*

(going to sign off now, will be back eventually)

rolled 50 = 50

>>15825471
Fucking tzeentch.

rolled 35 = 35

>>15825471
FUCK YEAH
NOW FOR ABADDON TO JUMP ON THE TABLE AND FUCK HIS WAUFI.
AND SLAANESH WILL BE KICKING IN THE WARP LIKE A BABY IN THE WOMB. IT WON'T BE LONG NOW FUCKERS!

rolled 19 = 19

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15823037/
Aaaand archived

rolled 73 = 73

>>15825471
That was meta....
anyway good thread!
who shall we be in command of next time?

rolled 3 = 3

I want Noddaba to be trained by Ahriman.

rolled 92 = 92

>>15825471
It is clear now why ahrimn behaved as such!

He wanted the high class eldar pussy for himself, and being a sorcerer had to be all classy about it while Kharn, a khronate is a fucking barbarian.

There is one imperative to us , ahriman now:

Lead Abaddon to the right path, and make ourself the Hugh Heffner of the crussade and the galaxy by having all them eldar, xeno, human and demon bitches swoon over us.
We need a Twilight style market research team and to tailor ourselves such to meet market demands. In so doing getting far more converts then any champions of Abaddon- proving him that we are the right choice and at the same time wining the High Seer from Kharn over.

rolled 99 = 99

Plan to alter history. There shall be only one Chaos God, and it will be you.

rolled 36 = 36

>>15827125
Abaddon, of course.

rolled 15 = 15

We now return to being Abaddon!

rolled 68 = 68

>>15827401

Aye, this is Abaddon Quest, not faggy Ahriman Quest!

rolled 93 = 93

>>15827401
This - come on OP, we don't want to be Ahriman anymore!

rolled 50 = 50

>>15827401

ABADDON! ABADDON! ABADDON!

rolled 94 = 94

>>15827125
WHAT THE FUUUUU----BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

GAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAHHAHAHA!

rolled 37 = 37

>>15827125
>Ahrima the god of "Fuck your shit"

>>15828597
Just as Planned.
From now on, you'll n ever know if it was Tzeentch or another dick.

rolled 74 = 74

Good for the Good God!

rolled 23 = 23

Abaddon for Godhood!