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  • File : 1313281525.jpg-(180 KB, 706x572, Map.jpg)
    180 KB Boardquest Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)20:25 No.15926550  
    Forchania. A continent whose history is shrouded in myth. Some say the FIRST! People came here hundreds of years ago in a flash of light, from a completely different world. Others say that human kind has ALWAYS existed here, and that that is just a myth. Whatever the case, it is a place plagued by war.

    >The Wasteland of /b/
    A terrifying, desolate place; though it was once a fairly powerful and industrious realm, it has long since fallen to despair and squalor; roving hordes of /b/arbarians seek to plunge the world into utter darkness, held back only by the strength of the other lands.
    Most Like: The Mongol Horde, just more retarded.

    >The Empire of /v/
    A massive empire that has begun to falter, having withstood the bulk of the /b/arbarian horde for centuries. What was once a proud, unified nation has fallen to petty squabbles and backstabbing nobles, but they are still a force to be reckoned with.
    Most Like: The Roman Empire

    >The Nation of /vp/
    A small state, the /vp/ Nation was once a province of the /v/ Empire, its people ostracized and despised for their strange customs. Their beastmasters are greatly feared, controlling strange creatures that can control the very elements themselves.
    Most Like: Imperial Japan/China

    >The Republic of /k/
    A disciplined and war-like culture, the /k/ommandos of /k/ are widely known, and equally feared. No other nation can match their skill with firearms. All who can fight, will fight; their is no such thing as a "civilian" in /k/.
    Most Like: Ancient Greece (Specifically, Sparta)

    >The Isles of /fit/
    With raw strength and great endurance, the /fit/izens have truly mastered the dangerous jungles of their home islands; they are master sailors, and skilled fighters, but they are proud, vain creatures.
    Most Like: Klingons/WoW Orcs (But Prettier)
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)20:28 No.15926585
    Then, there is the Lands of /tg/; a small nation, on the very edge of civilization; the people here are hardy and inventive, but are often divided by things that outsiders see as trivial or foolish. Despite their shortcomings, they have the potential to be much greater... And you will see to it that it is achieved.

    You have recently gained the title of Lord, and the control of the smallest territory in the Lands of /tg/. Nevertheless, you will achieve your goal - complete dominion over all of Forchania!

    But first... What is your name? And, what is the name of your territory?

    >Roll 1d100 for suggestions; highest wins. Similar Suggestions will be grouped together.
    >For this instance, roll 2d100, first for your name, and second for the name of the territory.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)20:30 No.15926607
    I recruit Rhodok Sharpshooters and Nord Huscarls

    >> Synner 08/13/11(Sat)20:32 No.15926624
    I'll watch this... also /fit/ or /tg/? that's a dilema.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)20:34 No.15926633
    rolled 62 = 62

    Princess Salicia Valthruul
    The Duchy of Ouril
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)20:34 No.15926639
    We must visit /k/ and find mercenary forces to hire, to form a sturdy backbone to our personal military.

    What is our current funding situation? What assets do we already hold?
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)20:36 No.15926663
    rolled 21 = 21

    Ser Padraig Stewirt
    Duchy of Dessex
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)20:40 No.15926704
    rolled 1, 53 = 54

    Oh, whups, forgot that we need to roll twice.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)20:43 No.15926739
    I also forgot the second roll, but I prefer Dessex, so not re-rolling.
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)20:48 No.15926823
    I'll give it another couple of minutes for more players, otherwise, going with Salicia Valthruul of Dessex.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)20:50 No.15926840
    Explanation requested, are we the leader of the lands of /tg/?
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)20:52 No.15926865
    >You have recently gained the title of Lord, and the control of the smallest territory in the Lands of /tg/. Nevertheless, you will achieve your goal - complete dominion over all of Forchania!

    You currently control a small territory on the border between /tg/ and the Wasteland of /b/. Your ultimate goal (world domination) should lead to control of /tg/, however.
    >> Alpharius 08/13/11(Sat)20:52 No.15926866
    rolled 46 = 46

    Lord Thelonius Girth, Duke of Tumblers
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)20:52 No.15926869
    rolled 72, 56 = 128

    derp, sorry. I only skimmed the second post.
    Baron Bidhill of Dessex
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)20:53 No.15926882
    naw, we're just, like, landed nobles with a few hundred acres and a pittance of serfs - not enough to fill a keelboat, even - right, OP?
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)20:55 No.15926900
    Not yet. You do have a decently-trained militia, which can handle the occasional /b/arbarian raid, but it is certainly not a professional force.
    >> Alpharius 08/13/11(Sat)20:57 No.15926924
    I'm guessing that magic exists in this setting, though at a fairly low level overall.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)20:58 No.15926929
    Where's /co/?
    I thought we were bros /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)20:58 No.15926935
    and terrain? is it wasteish or rolling pastoral hills
    (please be hills)
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)20:59 No.15926947
    rolled 5 = 5

    I want /tg/ to be swamplands, because swamplands. But hey, we should leave it up to OP.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)20:59 No.15926949
    rolled 24 = 24


    We're bros with /sp/ and /ck/ and /x/ too, but dealing with the big ones might be easier to run a quest with rather than ALL the politicking that would involve every board.
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)21:01 No.15926967
         File1313283670.jpg-(139 KB, 483x507, tg.jpg)
    139 KB
    You are Lord Bidhill of the small territory known as Dessex. The people of Dessex are poor, but proud, and have long stood their own against the rampaging /b/arbarians.

    Recently, Dessex has attracted the ire of the neighboring land of Umbra. Its people are known for the skills with the darker magics; some are shapeshifters, some blood-mages, but all are powerful.

    You were thrust into this situation after the previous ruler of Dessex tried to surrender, journeying to the Umbran capital under a white flag.

    He returned without a head.
    >> Alpharius 08/13/11(Sat)21:01 No.15926978
    We are. But, let's be serious. You don't really want to exist in this setting, do you? Here, it's a war of all against all, with hungry lions prowling about the periphery of civilized society. Why, we might be forced to do something ghastly like betray you to our own ambitions! No, no, better that such exalted /co/mpany not take part in this unrefined sport.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:01 No.15926979
    Why did we attract the ire of Umbra?
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:02 No.15926980
    rolled 72 = 72

    I pull the Deck of Many Things card that gives me a castle and train up a militia.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:02 No.15926991
    rolled 23 = 23


    We anyone who uses those foul magics HAS to be evil, so we clearly must become a nation of holy warriors to counter them.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:04 No.15927020
    rolled 54 = 54


    That should be "Well"
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:04 No.15927026
    Ok, Op, could you please show us the extent of our lands?

    Also what terms would we use for our troops?
    Would we need to recruit ca/tg/irls to increase the numbers of our citizens?
    Or would we train us some Catachan?
    Or would we just tame horses to get us some cavalry going?
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:05 No.15927030
         File1313283918.jpg-(7 KB, 259x194, wowan.jpg)
    7 KB
    >Including /k/ without /an/
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)21:05 No.15927034
    Magic exists. /tg/ utilizes it the most, and /v/ to a lesser extent. Most of the other nations do not.

    You have heard of other lands across the sea, but only the master-seamen of /fit/ have ever survived the treacherous journey. Some say they are a myth.

    /tg/ is similar in its geography to Scotland, England, and other European nations. Basically, generic, Tolkien-Ripoff Fantasyland (though Cadia, being the most technological advanced, looks slightly more modern).
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)21:07 No.15927050

    See the middle section of the following:
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:09 No.15927075
    Raise an army of holy warriors.
    Also, mages skilled with fire-magic. If they try undead, they'll be in for it.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:09 No.15927084
    Okay, lets survey our lands for what resources we have and begin to fortify the border with Umbra.
    >> Alpharius 08/13/11(Sat)21:10 No.15927086
    rolled 84 = 84

    Alert the other three lands of /tg/ that the people of Umbra no longer follow the guidelines of honorable warfare that have guided our principalities since time immemorial. That they consort with dark powers is worse news indeed. Suggest that Umbra has grown entirely too big for its britches, and will not stop its conquest at Dessex. It intends to rule over all of /tg/, even if it has to climb over all our corpses to do it. Request military assistance from Cadia, specifically, because I know that the dark powers of Umbra are an abominable to their Lord and he will be eager to stamp it out.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:11 No.15927100
    I lerv /k/ and /tg/
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)21:12 No.15927105
    They are looking to expand. Dessex is the weakest link amongst their neighbors.

    A map was posted above.

    Various critters live in /tg/ (any type of Tabletop RPG creature you can think of, really), and thus, many things are used for war, and as mounts, including horses.

    You will not have to worry about breeding your subjects... They tend to do that on their own.

    Regardless, as the new ruler of Dessex, you face some problems:

    A) The current war with Umbra has left your defenses, especially on the border of Umbra, severely weakened.

    B) The people are scared, and many are starving. Morale is low amongst the militias.

    C) /b/arbarians are always troublesome, and the Blackwatch has had difficulty containing them as of late.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:14 No.15927123
    rolled 21 = 21

    We must enforce the borders to keep those from Umbra out of our lands, in the meantime send messengers to Cadia to attempt to secure an alliance and protect our lands from Umbra. It would shed a bad light for us to attempt an attack, we must bide our time wisely.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:14 No.15927127
    We need cannon.
    If we can't beat them with magic, we'll win with technology.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:14 No.15927129
    rolled 87 = 87


    Executor Alina.
    Autonomous Border Domain 34
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)21:15 No.15927133
    Dessex is rich with lumber and durable stone, especially granite. Metal is somewhat rare, but not terribly so.

    You have ordered messengers to be sent to the other three lands; this is a dangerous job, for the only way to reach them is to go through Umbra itself, or, almost more terrifying...

    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:15 No.15927143

    Clearly we need some aid from the other /tg/ nations. We can't hope to hold off /b/arbarian raids AND skirmishes against Umbra on our own. I second >>15927086 in this case.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:16 No.15927147
    rolled 8 = 8

    second roll. derp
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:16 No.15927152
    rolled 85 = 85

    Why the fuck am I not rolling.
    >> Alina 08/13/11(Sat)21:17 No.15927156
    rolled 63, 9 = 72

    Right. proper format
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:17 No.15927164
    Right, can we open the storehouses to help feed the people? If we can, do that.
    Recruit more men for the Blackwatch.
    If we have earth-mages, get them to fortify the borders
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)21:18 No.15927171
    You decide to send additional messengers to Cadia, along different routes; they would be valuable allies in the days ahead, and it would be terrible for your pleas not to reach them.

    You order your Labor Administrator and War Administrator to begin repairing and reinforcing the Umbran Border Defences.

    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:18 No.15927174
    rolled 95 = 95

    and ROLLAN
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)21:19 No.15927181
    >Roll 3d100, bro. It'll determine success.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:19 No.15927184
    rolled 23 = 23

    So we have a wonderful lumber trade? Wonderful, we should train a large number of archers/scouts. Has war been declared?
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:21 No.15927198
    rolled 21, 23 = 44

    what, only medieval terms allowed? remember this is /tg/ ancestors. some are still playing sf...
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:21 No.15927206
    and the next 2>>15927174
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)21:23 No.15927227
    You order the storehouses to be opened. The people rejoice, but your food stockpiles begin to wane. You will need to find more sources of food.

    You send out a call for able-bodied men for the Blackwatch. Most are either already there, or dealing with Umbra, but you may get a few of the younger and older citizens.

    You also send a small number of Earth-Mages to reinforce the Umbra border. They are not individually powerful, but combined, they should prove sufficient.

    You order your Labor Administrator to begin harvesting the forests; in addition, you commission the training of archers and crossbowmen.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:24 No.15927231
    sry. miss judged the type of game. I thought it was with namefagging and different players.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:25 No.15927243
    rolled 94 = 94

    I also suggest we train Guerrilla forces to sever trade routes once war is declared.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:25 No.15927244
    Umbra is the White Wolf Games faction (JUST world of Darkness, thank god- if Exaltations show up, we're FUCKED)

    Golarion is Pathfinder folk, seems only fair. (Will this include other 3.5 folk?)

    What are Blackmoor and Cadia?
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:25 No.15927248
    rolled 44 = 44


    We need to cultivate more magic users to counter Umbra's forces. Preferably divine magic, since they're using powers of a less-than-holy origin. Sponsor some churches and religious orders, perhaps?
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)21:26 No.15927251
    Unfortunately, Dessex does not posses great amounts of technology; Cadia has the monopoly of those types of goods. Your hall does have electricity and running water, but you lack the knowledge to spread this across your territory.

    After several days, your Diplomatic Minister, Valarius, informs you that you have guests in the throneroom.

    He says they are dwarves.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:27 No.15927267
    Training archers needs years.
    We want fire power now.
    We should start a patriotic, if not nationalist campaign to draft more men and / or women into our forces, then arm them with crossbows.
    We need also to enforce a standardized training plan to drill them into a standing army.
    To counter the increased spending we surely can send out our wisest thinkers to find new ways in agriculture and help the people up their production. Using clover as a food source for lifestock and fertilizer at the same time could help us getting the most of our ground.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:27 No.15927269

    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:27 No.15927271
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:28 No.15927277
    rolled 96 = 96

    Dwarves? We should hear them out. They might bring good news.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:28 No.15927278
    rolled 35 = 35

    i'll remember eventually
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)21:28 No.15927280
    Right on the head there, chummy.

    Cadia is, essentially, Warhammer and 40k. Blackmoor is similar to Golarion, but more D&D Specific; admittedly, I wasn't sure what other settings to use, and it enforces the "Fantasy World" aesthetic.

    Basically, Golarion = Higher Magic, Blacmoor = Sword and Sorcery
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:29 No.15927286
    You mean we AREN'T Dorfs?
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:30 No.15927302
    If we do this, I think we ought to give extra consideration for fertility and harvest deities, since we'll need to feel our masses in the long run, considering we've just depleted our stores. Perhaps some extra nuzzling of druids? We'll expand into /b/ and let you fuck as many goats as you want, so long as you make sure our harvests are bountiful.

    Economic victory. Make nice with Golarion &etc.

    Question: what's the situation of the other /tg/ provinces? SHould we send out spies to keep tabs on our neighbours?
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:30 No.15927304
    I have searched long and hard for the /d/emons that roam Forchania. I have heard rumors about them while traveling the different cities. These /d/emons can disguise themselves as normal humans but hold immense power. I have heard stories about those who happen upon them. They are changed people. Men who encounter them are twisted into bizarre mockeries of their former selves, no longer resembling humans. Still, they at least seem to be happy in their new forms.

    I must know however, are these myths true? Can any of you vouch for them?
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)21:32 No.15927333
         File1313285531.jpg-(75 KB, 400x473, Urvash.jpg)
    75 KB
    You enter the throne room, and see a group of dwarves. One steps foreward, obviously the leader.

    "Greetins' from the Mountainhomes, yer Lordship. We be the representatives of the Hammerfell clan, and we hear ya need some help with those Umbra Folks."
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:32 No.15927336
    Sounds like Umbra is a land of unsavory individuals. You guys are silly to think we can beat them through force of arms. We need to cause internal strife, let the rulers cannibalize each other. Then we can assume the Umbran throne quite legitimately. We should at LEAST get an intelligence report on their political situation.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:33 No.15927350

    I don't know what romanticized stories you've been hearing, but the tales I've read make me pray to god that I never meet one alone on a dark night.

    But enough of old wives' tales, we're here to plan and strategize, not play with fantasies.
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)21:34 No.15927366
    Most of Dessex is Human. Their is a small dwarven minority, but most live in Blackmoor. You hear tales of the fair elves inhabiting Golarion, but you have yet to see one.

    You make a mental note to attempt to foster better relations with the magic-users of Dessex; Divine and Primal, specifically.

    This is now Canon. They are essentially Slanesh.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:35 No.15927369
    Is that in our lands?
    We need their help dearly, but also their craftsmenship and ores are verywelcome.
    We can pay in wood to support their tunnels.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:35 No.15927371
    rolled 22 = 22

    The /d/emons are a mercurial lot. They believe in sensual pleasure as the highest goal in life, and they are keen to share that with others. If you meet one, be civil, but consent to nothing unless terms are laid out clearly before hand.

    I second this. Bid our dwarves the audience.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:36 No.15927388
    We do indeed good sir, and many thanks for your aid in this darkest of hours. How does the mountainhome wish to help us? If its land and mining rights that you desire, take them and be welcome
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:37 No.15927402

    "Welcome, dwarves of Hammerfell. Any assistance you could give would be appreciated beyond measure by the people of Dessex."
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)21:39 No.15927417
    "Mountainhome" is a generic term for Dwarven cities; being deep underground, they are technically autonomous; you do not have jurisdiction over them. The Hammerfell Dwarves have long been allies of Dessex, and they live beneath it.

    "Welcome to my hall, Stonelords. It is good to see trustworthy allies as of late."

    The leader nods.

    "Aye. You lot are not the only ones dealing with the Umbran wretches. They invaded our tunnels as well. Even our most well-placed magma floods did not deter them completely."
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:39 No.15927422
    Surely somwhere there exists a group that culturally identifies as /co/mmunists or /x/enos...even if they do not show on national maps.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:40 No.15927423

    This is a good idea. See if we can get a few spies to run reconnaissance.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:40 No.15927428
    Indeed, our Dwarven allies are always more then welcome in our lands, so long as they remain our lands.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:41 No.15927435
    Care to tell us about the custom and situation in the other nations of Forchania?
    I'm partly interested in how a such fragmented people like the /vp/ denizens are even capable of having a nation, a collection of city states fit them more.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:41 No.15927438

    Ha ha ha, Dwarf Fortress dorfs should make a formidable ally indeed.

    It'd be great if they could help us build up some fortifications to protect against invading /b/arbarians or Umbra forces.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:44 No.15927469
         File1313286268.gif-(1.5 MB, 277x232, 1282769963709.gif)
    1.5 MB
    rolled 85 = 85

    We have Dorf fortress under our feet? Fuck yes.

    Explain to us our situation re: our food stores and the treatment of the previous lord. Explain how we feel the need to defend ourselves. Promote our idea of divine magic as our avenue of combatting Umbral forces, but also emphasize the need for intel. Sow discord: if this is WoD-based, then the werewolves & vampires will be tearing at one another, and the mages won't be all sunshine and roses either
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:44 No.15927473
    Good Stonelord, what cooperation do you propose?
    Trade in goods, joint military forces?
    Let me hear you out.
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)21:45 No.15927478
    "We appreciate that greatly, yer lordship... And we will certainly help however we can. But those stone-cursed Umbra bastards have killed many. We managed to seal the main tunnels, and triggered the magma traps... But we are much weaker than before."

    You don't know much beyond rumors, but it has been said in hushed tones that the beastmasters of /vp/ are being secretly supplied by the /k/ Republic; /k/ and /v/ have never been friendly, but they have never declared open war either.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:45 No.15927484
    rolled 74 = 74

    Damn captcha.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:45 No.15927488
    rolled 3 = 3

    Elf Slaves, That's what!

    Also lets recruit /d/emons with well thought our legalese contracts.

    We need some people with max points in :

    to draft tem so that /d/emons can not abuse them and we could have some root kit;s in them...

    they will be quite interesting in infiltrating Umbra and acting as agent provocatures, saboteurs, infiltrators spy and general covert and black ops.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:46 No.15927497
    rolled 13 = 13

    "Even your great magma pumps could not deter them? We will not allow you to be overrun by these Umbrian devils. Our forces, though sparse could use the experience of helping you reclaim your tunnels. Would you permit us the honor of fighting alongside you?"
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:47 No.15927505
    rolled 87 = 87

    We are enemies with WoD inspired?
    We need this, then.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:47 No.15927511
    rolled 61, 39, 41 = 141

    Send them to the borders of/b/ and have them fortify the borders. Recruit some into the Blackguard.
    Give the others free reign if our mineral stocks and lets see what they come up with
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:48 No.15927520
    also, how are our earth-mages coming along?
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)21:51 No.15927545

    We have Dorf fortress under our feet? Fuck yes.
    Explain to us our situation re: our food stores and the treatment of the previous lord. Explain how we feel the need to defend ourselves. Promote our idea of divine magic as our avenue of combatting Umbral forces, but also emphasize the need for intel. Sow discord: if this is WoD-based, then the werewolves & vampires will be tearing at one another, and the mages won't be all sunshine and roses either

    Good Stonelord, what cooperation do you propose?
    Trade in goods, joint military forces?
    Let me hear you out.

    "What, exactly, are the Stonelords willing to offer? I am not too proud to admit, we are in dire straits. The Umbra vermin defied the laws of proper combat and killed a peaceful representative-"

    "Those filthy kobold-fuckers!" Cried the leader, oblivious to his egregious disregard of decorum.

    "... Quite. We are also suffering famine, and running blind. We have no information about our enemy, or even our potential allies."

    The leader nods.

    "Indeed, yer lordship... Well, our larders are well supplied at the moment; seein' as you are willing to give us mining rights, we are willing to share..."

    A devious glint enters his stony eyes.

    "And, there are some... Alternate tunnels... that may allow us to contact the other mountainhomes across the border. I am sure they would love to know about how the bastards above them invaded sovereign dwarven territory..."
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:52 No.15927568
    rolled 88 = 88

    Dorfs work best when pushed and coordinated, right?
    So we just send instructors and a token force of our warriors to them and have them help rebuilding and / or reclaiming.
    In return, the dorfs can fortify our defenses
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:54 No.15927591
    inb4 changling dorfs spies share poisoned food and suddenly plaguelands everywhere.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:55 No.15927601
    rolled 35 = 35

    If you pledge to help us against the hated Umbrans aboveground, we will aid you as best we can in the tunnels.
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)21:55 No.15927605
    You make agreements to divert some of your military resources to the Hammerfell Mountainhomes. In return, the Dwarven Representative agrees to send some of their masons to reinforce the walls of Blackwatch.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:57 No.15927621
    rolled 66 = 66

    We can inform the other mountainhomes?
    A formidable idea!
    Your rights, you shall have.
    But be sure to build them tunnels tall and straight. Then we can use them to move our forces,as well.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)21:57 No.15927626
    rolled 17 = 17


    I see nothing wrong with giving them mining rights for the meantime, we certainly have no way of effectively extracting those resources ourselves right now.

    We give them rights to mine on our lands in exchange for information, manpower, and assisstance with constructing fortifications.
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)21:58 No.15927650

    "Hmm... What of the dreaded Changelings? If they have infiltrated your brethren-"

    The dwarf interrupts you again; he's good at that.

    "Bah! There never been a Changeling with the stones large enough to "infiltrate" a mountainhome; don't worry 'bout that, yer lordship."
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:00 No.15927667
    rolled 16 = 16

    We can assume our Dorf is trustworthy? That glint may have ulterior motives. I want to run a Sense Motive check, but realize DnD isn't suited for this.

    poerhaps we oughn't be so open about the information? Are tehse dorfs as honorable as they'd need to be in order for us to carry through with this>? Admitting weaknes /can/ be a serious threat
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:00 No.15927677
    We were trying to send a messenger to Cadia, but the way was blocked by Umbra and the /b/arbarians, yes? Ask the dwarves if they know of a tunnel to Cadia, so that our messenger can get to Cadia swiftly and safely.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:02 No.15927691
    i think its more
    "ooooooo mineral rights"
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)22:02 No.15927692
    "We will gladly give you access to our mineral wealth in exchange for your help... Though, if you could please make some tunnels, um..."

    You struggle to think of a way to say "Tall Enough" without upsetting them. He laughs.

    "Aye, Lordship, we'll make 'em tall enough for you gangly folk. You have our word."

    He offers you his hand.

    "To a long friendship, and a bloody fantastic war!"
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:02 No.15927696
    rolled 43 = 43

    Do you suppose it would be within reason to ask for a few veterans to teach our Melee forces how to properly fight? Having our forces trained like the Dwarves would be a great boon. Few can match their hand to hand prowess.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:03 No.15927702
    We should totally become magic Vietnam.
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)22:04 No.15927711
    Dwarves aren't known for lying to friends. Dessex and the Hammerfell Mountainhome have been allies for Generations.

    The dwarves agree, though it may require some trips above ground to reach areas that no tunels exist. Still, they will send a small, elite force.
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)22:06 No.15927743
    The dwarves ponder for a moment, before nodding slowly.

    I will be back shortly; when I return, we shall move on to other matters, as it would appear the Dwarven Situation is handled.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:20 No.15927883
    There was talk earlier of starting a standing army. Surely in our D&D world, we'd do much better finding unlikely peasants with tragic backstories, putting them in groups of 4-6, and giving them vague and uncertain goals?

    It could be a great boon, or yea, even a functional part our culture to have bands of altruistic warriors roaming our borders. They can take on entire armies by themselves. Arguably, it is a form of guerrilla warfare too.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:22 No.15927901
    rolled 43 = 43

    In the medium term we should try to import Cadian tech.
    If they are anything like 40k Cadia, they are advanced to a point we can hardly dream of and their forces are top-notch.
    Having an alliance with them is the best that can happen to us.
    We just pull a Japan and copy their tech, gain their knowledge and ally with their forces.
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)22:24 No.15927927

    A) You are Lord Bidhill of Dessex:
    - You are at war with Umbra (Umbra is the Aggressor); tried to surrender, Umbra broke the Laws of War and killed the former lord while he was under a white flag.
    - Earth mages are fixing up the Umbra Border. Blackwatch (the northern border) is being reinforced.
    - You have sent Messengers to the three other territories.
    - You are attempting to foster better relations with local druids in exchange for their fertility magic (for crops); attempting to train more divine magic users (for use against the blood-suckers from Umbra).
    - You have begun training crossbowmen.
    - Rumors say that the /k/ Republic is secretley funding the /vp/ rebels. While not terribly important at present, it may help later.

    B) You had an audience with some dwarves from the Hammerfell Mountainhome:
    - The Hammerfell Dwarves are on the defensive; they managed to seal most entrances to tunnels that lead to - Umbra, but a few known only to them remain, which they will use to inform the Umbra Mountainhomes of the dishonorable actions of those above them.
    - You agreed to give the dwarves mining rights in your territory.
    - You depleted your food stores to feed your people; the dwarves have agreed to send aid.
    - Dwarven guerillas were sent to Cadia, in hopes of avoiding /b/arbarians or the Umbrans.
    - You agreed to divert military aid to the Dwarves; they agreed to reinforce the walls of the Blackwatch, and to train some of your melee forces.
    - You learned that "Kobold-Fucker" is a common dwarven expletive.
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)22:28 No.15927971
    It is true that wandering adventurers are common in the Lands of /tg/; however, there are precious few in Dessex; most reside in Golarion and Blackmoor.

    The Cadians have weapons you have heard called "Firearms;" some shoot small, metal pebbles, and others, bright lances of light. Some breathe fire, as if from the throat of a dragon. The only reason they have not dominated /tg/ is due to magic, and the fact that they have lost much of their knowledge of reproducing these weapons effectively.
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)22:29 No.15927983
    Worry not; "Adventurers" are really just small mercenary bands with better publicity. Still, they can prove useful.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:30 No.15927997
    Changelings were mentioned earlier, is it possible at all that we could bring some into our own employ? Spies and assassins are always useful.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:31 No.15928007
    rolled 90 = 90

    Speaking of Kobolds...
    Can we use them?
    They surely are a suppressed kind and as long as we promise them some land in Umbra, they might do as we say.
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)22:32 No.15928017
    The Dwarven envoy bids you farewell, and begins the journey back to the Mountainhome. You are currently in the throne room.

    >Refer to:
    >For things you could try to work on; other suggestions are, of course, welcome.

    >Roll a 1d100 for suggestions; they determine likelihood of success, and the likelihood of me including them. To roll a dice, type "dice+1d100" in the email field, without the quotes.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:33 No.15928024
    Umm kinda, that said,
    We can't have men get themselves killed for a half-pence a day, nor for a petty distinction. But we could speak to the soul in order to electrify them.
    By which I mean it should be common knowledge already throught every kingdom that our princess is in a state of distress, and also a damsel.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:33 No.15928026
    rolled 54 = 54

    So we shall fight with their tractors!
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)22:33 No.15928034
    Kobolds are feral, but they are intelligent, if you stretch the term to the breaking point. It may be possible to recruit them, but they may lack the attention span to prove effective.

    There is a reason many of them live amongst the /b/arbarians.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:34 No.15928037
    rolled 40 = 40

    whoops. rolling for that.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:35 No.15928052
    rolled 72, 40 = 112

    We even have our melee forces being trained in the Dwarven ways of fighting. We should seek out some Elven allies as well. These people from Umbra are a nasty sort and as such we can not be too prepared.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:35 No.15928056
    In which region of /tg/ would MtG and Yu-Gi-Oh fall in? What about other boards using /tg/ content?
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)22:35 No.15928061
    You don't have a Princess in Dessex, nor any daughters of your own. You could, hypothetically seize a peasant girl and pretty her up a bit...

    You aren't sure what a "tractor" is, but you like the sound of it.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:37 No.15928075
    rolled 47 = 47

    By which I mean hire some mercs with promise of glory. Here's a roll.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:37 No.15928082
    Or invest in genderbending magic. We don't need more than one son, anyway.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:38 No.15928088
    rolled 34 = 34

    /vp/ specializes in summoning, right? Would our druids be willing to work with this type of magic? Or would it produce problems?

    I fear /k/ & /vp/ may forge an alliance to take on /v/ and divvy it into chunks. If this is so, I foresee a LOT of refugees fleeing to /tg/ Hope we can feed 'em all!

    I'm curious about the changelings. On one hand, they'd be incredibly useful spies. On the other hand, changelings are typically looked down on in fantasy settings as treacherous, and our Dorf friends make it clear this may be the case here, too. If we take on changelings, will we run the risk of alienating our Dorf allies? Because, at the very least, the changelings might be suefuyl to fuck up the Umbra folk
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)22:38 No.15928094
    It may be possible to recruit Changelings, but they are seldom seen outside of Umbra.

    You have sent messengers to Golarion, where the elves reside; if they reach them, they may send aid.

    Dessex, Golarion, and Blackmoor are most likely to use the power of M:tG or YGO. The only other land that utilizes sorcery is /v/, though it prefers firearms...

    Along with tea-bagging.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:38 No.15928097
    Good lord! Do we have a son at least?
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:39 No.15928099
    rolled 59 = 59

    If we are to procreate it would be ideal to do so in order to secure an alliance. A political marriage is the only way to go, and until offered it bears no significance. We must first focus on our large and very dangerous foe. Perhaps we shall make time for marriage once our current plight is over.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:39 No.15928107
    So I'm from this really neat nation called the land of /mu/

    it's an obscure country you would have never heard of it.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:40 No.15928117
    rolled 77 = 77

    I'm curious, what power and influence does the church have in Dessex, /tg/lands, and the world as a whole? Are there Paladins or other holy orders? Clerics? Or would they be a more political force? Maybe if we're specialising in divine magic we may lead a crusade later on.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:40 No.15928119
    We make plans to attack Umbra with as much dwarven aid as we can muster. The sheer unexpectedness of such a move after recent events should work heavily in our favour.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:42 No.15928131
    Ah, 4chan Belgium!
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:42 No.15928133
    Isn't that where the dorfs are from? It was underground at least.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:43 No.15928146
    rolled 18 = 18

    Make sure /k/ does not learn of these Caladian firewarms, or - at least - they don't get ahold of many. . I fear /k/ for their discipline, and could see them making a bid to power easily. The people of /fit we can leave to themselves, and the folks of /vp/ if treated well, may not pose a huge threat.

    I fear the crumbling of /v/, leading to an incursion of /b/arbarians from the east. /k/ gets the choice bits of /v/ civilization, and use it as a move towards imperialism. While I'm fine with /k/ allies, I don't feel comfortable over the potential loss of /tg/ culture they could pose. No idea of what a civvy is? Fine, I guess, for defense, but also prone to stagnation.

    Be nice to the womenfolk, at least. We want to set a good example to our Dorf allies, plus we don't want to start falling into Umbral ways of thinking.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:44 No.15928148
    rolled 14 = 14

    Whenever possible, organize a fleet of explorer ships to go south, looking for the fabled lost islands of /r9k/.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:45 No.15928161
    rolled 77 = 77

    Those could be used to perform mass-resurrections on our fallen warriors.
    This way we could save us time in training and replenishour numbers.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:46 No.15928168
    rolled 22 = 22

    I'd rather sow dissent in Umbra, let the lycans, vamps & magi tear each other apart, then we mop up the rest. We have a strong defense, but don't strike until we can decisively finish the thing.

    Also, fear of /b/arbarians may still be a threat.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:50 No.15928208
    rolled 35 = 35

    Hells yeah. If we push hard enough, one group may even sell out their rivals to us. We might get some allies behind their borders.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:50 No.15928211
    rolled 68 = 68

    Being nice to the women is mandatory, we had significant casualties.
    We need the dorfs to dig up some silver.
    That givesusan edge on those creatures of the night.
    Also we should instrumentalize the humans in Umbra to fight the monsters.
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)22:51 No.15928214
    1. The /vp/eople do not use summoning magic. They merely tame and train the native beasts. A mighty feat, considering their elemental abilities, but not magical in nature.

    I fear /k/ & /vp/ may forge an alliance to take on /v/ and divvy it into chunks. If this is so, I foresee a LOT of refugees fleeing to /tg/ Hope we can feed 'em all!

    2. You do not know much about the situation between /k/, /vp/, and /v/, but war is definitly a future possibility. It is a bit beyond your reach, currently.

    3. The dwarves dislike magic in general, but they HATE liars. Magical Liars are even worse. However, it is likely you could persuade them to tolerate the Changelings, though, again, it would be difficult to recruit any until you have made progress within Umbra.

    No son. You are a fairly young man, so it could happen, but you have no wife or concubines to procreate with.

    I'm curious, what power and influence does the church have in Dessex, /tg/lands, and the world as a whole? Are there Paladins or other holy orders? Clerics? Or would they be a more political force? Maybe if we're specialising in divine magic we may lead a crusade later on.

    Each nation has their own gods. Paladins and Clerics exist within the Lands of /tg/, and in /v/, to a smaller extent. Though there is no definite proof of the existence of gods, the Divine Magic Users are still able to to shove lightning up your ass. The church is very popular in Dessex and Golarion, less so in Umbra.

    The Cadians worship their ancestral technology.

    Women are generally considered equals in Dessex. It is different in other lands, especially /b/ and /v/.

    No Rezzing.

    /b/arbarians are always a threat.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:52 No.15928221
    Pshhhh Belgium and dorfs are so mainstream
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)22:53 No.15928233
    You know that there are several rich silver deposits within your borders; you trust that the Dwarves know even more than you.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:55 No.15928251
    No /co/mrades? Where are our brothers?
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:56 No.15928258
    rolled 27 = 27

    yes, Umbra is the largest threat to us. How are our messengers doing? If we've yet to hear from them we should check on our people. Public appearances to make sure they are happy. A happy people are much less likely to want us dead. Rule through kindness not lies.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:56 No.15928260
    I'm fairly sure I have seen some rare magic users in some areas of /vp/, but I think those have been there since they were still part of /v/.
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)22:57 No.15928267
         File1313290660.jpg-(126 KB, 564x800, WarMinister.jpg)
    126 KB
    Your War Minister, Kahl, enters the throne room with great haste. He moves with some amount of caution; you know he has long suffered from a wound brought on in his younger years to his leg. His mind, however, remains as sharp as it always has.

    "My Lord!" He bows to you, his expression turning to a grimace for a flash of a second before it is hidden behind a mask of grim determination, "I have news from the Blackwatch and the Umbra Border!"
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:58 No.15928274
    right now I can't really think of anything to do beyond wait for our current initiatives to come into effect, and look for further developments.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:58 No.15928283
    and theeeeeere we go!
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)22:59 No.15928293
    rolled 82 = 82

    >No son.
    Elf Slave, wat do.
    Seriously, half elves would make great kings. They live longer. Or a dragon.
    Concubines don't exclude the possibility of a political union, its easy, and we should have a couple li'l bastards running around. Monarch gotta have heirs.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)23:01 No.15928307
    An already subjugated culture, I guess.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)23:02 No.15928318
    rolled 1 = 1

    "Kahl, what news do you bring?" Also once our meeting is over ask if he would suffer wearing hidden splint to make it less painful for him to walk. He is an important man and it would be best to keep ourselves in his good graces.
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)23:09 No.15928398
    Immortal rulers tend to end badly. A lich tried to rule Blackmoor once. He know makes up the majority of the throne there.

    The Land of /co/ may exist across the sea.

    "Kahl, what news do you bring?"

    You offer him a seat, and he accepts, a flash of relief visible on his tired face.

    "The Earth Mages you sent have managed to fix up the southern border quite well. The Blackwatch was nearlly overrun, we lost many men, but then, nearlly a hundred warriors showed up out of no where; they were all either too young, or too old, but they still saved our hides..."

    Then he begins to grin.

    "And then, the ground collapsed on the barbarian bastards! Met up with some of the Stout folk, and they've been reinforcing the walls."
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)23:13 No.15928435
    Why is the non /b/ territory mainland China?
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)23:14 No.15928447
    "Wonderful, I believe if we are to fight this war we must do so carefully, avoid frontal assaults as much as possible. How are our scouts coming along?"
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)23:15 No.15928457
    rolled 54 = 54

    Forgot my roll
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)23:17 No.15928480
    >Damn you! I flipped it upside down and everything! My clever ruse has been discovered, as a two-bit sham! (In all honesty, I just liked the way it looked, and it was easier to just adapt the chinese borders than make an "original" continent).

    "Wonderful, I believe if we are to fight this war we must do so carefully, avoid frontal assaults as much as possible. How are our scouts coming along?"

    "Well, sir," says Kahl, "We... have not yet heard back from them. It will still be several days before they return... if they do at all."

    His expression turns dour.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)23:18 No.15928491
    Umbra has borders on /b/. If we disabled their guard, then we'd have /b/arbarians fighting for us, causing problems for our enemy. Certainly if they are the weaker target than us. Just throwing it out there as a target for guerrilla activity.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)23:25 No.15928564
    rolled 52 = 52

    Hey guys. Guys. With no heirs, we should marry the King of /b/. We'd become the most powerful nation in the world
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)23:28 No.15928594
    rolled 36 = 36

    "I see, a truly grim prospect. What our our numbers, If we are to win this war we must manage our troops carefully."
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)23:30 No.15928610
    rolled 21 = 21

    There is no future! The /b/arbarians will come any day now, and when they do, all will be lost. Prepare yourselves for an age when the sky is covered in complete /b/lackness.
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)23:33 No.15928642
    rolled 19 = 19

    The /b/arbarian hordes have been held off this long, Cadia would notice their movements and work to hold off the horde for a short while at least, the /b/ hordes are numerous but retarded.
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)23:34 No.15928658
    >(ANNOUNCEMENT: Archive set up; please give it some votes so it doesn't get culled!)

    There is no "King" of /b/, just various Warlords, each more retarded than the last.

    "I see, a truly grim prospect. What our our numbers, If we are to win this war we must manage our troops carefully."

    Kahl grimaces.

    "Not nearlly as numerous as I would like, my liege. We have suffered greatly from this war."

    >I admit, I'm gonna be pulling more exact numbers out of my ass here; /tg/ is roughly the size of Scotland, Ireland, and England smooshed together, so I'm not sure what a reasonable estimate would be. I'm guessing a few thousand.
    >> King of /b/ !!oVs9oVSM0so 08/13/11(Sat)23:43 No.15928752
         File1313293399.jpg-(73 KB, 384x662, 1313136831916.jpg)
    73 KB
    Fool I was just in the midst of my multi-dimensional fap binge!
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)23:46 No.15928798
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)23:47 No.15928801
    rolled 76 = 76

    Separately, they are a problem. Together, they make up a solution. Find out what Umbra has as a defense on their /b/orders.
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/13/11(Sat)23:50 No.15928826
    With a glint in your eye, you turn to Kahl.

    "Do we have any information about the defenses the bastard Umbrans have set up along their border with the barbarians?"

    The old knight grins, understanding your meaning.

    "They are weaker than ours, currently; the Cadians tend to annhilate anything that appears before it gets to close to either of their borders with their lightning-legs-"


    "Whatever... My Lord. Regardless, with a bit of... incentive, we may be able to kill two birds with one stone..."

    He frowns.

    "But how does one "persuade" a group as violent and idiotic as the denizens of /b/?"
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)23:52 No.15928838
    seems about right
    >> Anonymous 08/13/11(Sat)23:59 No.15928931
    Could we maybe tell the nearby warlords about the riches of Umbra and point them in the right direction

    captcha: 100 tedaybro
    >> King of /b/ !!oVs9oVSM0so 08/14/11(Sun)00:00 No.15928943

    >> Anonymous 08/14/11(Sun)00:03 No.15928977
    this isn't /b/ quest, be quiet.
    maybe send large volumes of propaganda insulting and laughing at the /b/ hordes, with Umbran seals and signiatures faked on it? If they're as stupid and reactionary as you say, that might provoke a feud.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/11(Sun)00:07 No.15929008
    rolled 6 = 6

    No, allowing the /b/arbarians to do our dirty work is cowardly. Our Dwarven allies would disapprove. Instead we should cut their supply lines with guerrilla tactics. Besides allowing the /b/arbarian hordes an inch into the lands of /tg/ and they would take a mile. Slowly encroach in the enemies territory and set traps on their roads. This is not a war that will be decided by raw power.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/11(Sun)00:07 No.15929022
    No, allowing the /b/arbarians to do our dirty work is cowardly. Our Dwarven allies would disapprove. Instead we should cut their supply lines with guerrilla tactics. Besides allowing the /b/arbarian hordes an inch into the lands of /tg/ and they would take a mile. Slowly encroach in the enemies territory and set traps on their roads. This is not a war that will be decided by raw power.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/11(Sun)00:08 No.15929032
    rolled 42 = 42

    why must I keep forgetting to roll.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/11(Sun)00:09 No.15929041
    Sorry for the double post.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/11(Sun)00:09 No.15929053
    rolled 35 = 35

    /b/arbiarians probably can't read. Or at least, they have no reading comprehension. Making an opportunistic raid on a town wearing Umbran colours might prove effective. They'll eat that right up.
    >> King of /b/ !!oVs9oVSM0so 08/14/11(Sun)00:09 No.15929054
    >> Anonymous 08/14/11(Sun)00:12 No.15929084

    The problem is they might not even be fazed by an outsider's attempt to rile them. Plus, I have my doubts about reading comprehension in general. Pictures of feminine parts may be required to get any attention at all. There is also the question of whether the /b/arbarians would even recognize the seal of Umbra. They ARE known for being fairly retarded. They might not be able to make distinctions between the lands other than how they are killed.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/11(Sun)00:15 No.15929129
    rolled 41 = 41

    Sir! You accuse me of cowardice and then suggest guerrilla tactics!
    I say let the /b/arbarians come into Umbran lands. When all is done, the rest of /tg/ will retake it then as a unified force. They may not take Umbra, but they WILL defend it. Better, they will realize that we must merge to form one unified nation under one god emperor. Us.
    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/14/11(Sun)00:16 No.15929136
    You sit quietly for several moments, pondering.

    "Hm... We know the barbarians love shiny things, and are not terribly intelligent-"

    "That's puttin' it fookin' mildly... Sire."

    "ANYWAY, we should try to act on both of these bits of knowledge..."

    You snap your fingers.

    "We will spread rumors of treasure beyond imagining within Umbra to the horde. And then... We will insult them."

    Kahl looks at you, not understanding.

    "You see, Kahl, the barbarians are a reactionary people, quick to respond with gratuitous amounts of idiocy at any percieved insult... And, if they just HAPPEN to see some posters that just HAPPEN to be from Umbra..."

    Kahl grins.

    "I understnad. I will have the scribes begin immediatly. What should the posters say?"
    >> Anonymous 08/14/11(Sun)00:18 No.15929157

    This is a war. Civility went out the window with our last leader's head. We are outnumbered and greatly weakened. Anything that can be done to tip the scales in our favor must be done. There is no reason we can't do what you suggested AND attempt to goad /b/ into attacking Umbra.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/11(Sun)00:18 No.15929160
    rolled 11 = 11

    "Everyone is right and everyone is wrong."
    >> Anonymous 08/14/11(Sun)00:19 No.15929169
         File1313295547.jpg-(4 KB, 120x126, urafaget.jpg)
    4 KB
    rolled 67 = 67

    >> Anonymous 08/14/11(Sun)00:21 No.15929195

    Hmmmm....that is a good start. Needs more pictures of cocks though. For the reading impaired /b/arbarians.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/11(Sun)00:22 No.15929222
    I burst into tears laughing at this. If this doesn't win I give up.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/11(Sun)00:23 No.15929225
    "You're all furries. Die in a fire."
    >> Anonymous 08/14/11(Sun)00:25 No.15929250
    rolled 63 = 63

    >> Forchania !!QVgBJCzCjEB 08/14/11(Sun)00:26 No.15929260
    You think back to your days under the tutelage of your family scribe, Mathias.

    "I remember... the Barbarians have a common insult. Indeed, it is one of the few things they know how to read and write."

    Kahl looks at you with skepticism.

    "What is it?"


    A few minutes later, Kahl returns to the throne room.

    "It is done. The messages will be delivered soon." He scrunches his brow, deep in thought.

    "Also... what, exactly, is a "Faggot?"

    >Allright, I'm ending it for tonight. I babysit my niece until about 4:30, so I'll start the next part around 6:00 or 7:00 (board time.)

    >> Anonymous 08/14/11(Sun)00:26 No.15929262
    The best part about this /b/ plan is that Umbra need never know why they got invaded so hard. We'll be the people's heroes.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/11(Sun)00:29 No.15929292
         File1313296189.jpg-(41 KB, 400x300, Conspiracy.jpg)
    41 KB
    rolled 97 = 97

    ooooh, yeah! Let the /b/ hordes rape and pillage till they get bored, then we march in and clean up the stragglers. We're not villians, we're heroes! Liberators!
    >> Anonymous 08/14/11(Sun)00:37 No.15929382
         File1313296640.png-(150 KB, 980x697, DO IT FAGGOT.png)
    150 KB
    A flying machine of some sort. Pay it no mind.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/11(Sun)01:23 No.15929985
    The Segmentum Vidya, the cradle of MSpaint comics. Here is /v/idya, known to antiquity as Video Games, the heart of the Empire of /v/. An Empire of a million towns, the Imperium stretches across the continent. Besieged by barbarians and monsters, attacked from within by trolls and rebels. For ten thousand months it has endured, protected by fleets of rage-ships and legions of fanatically devoted warriors. It is the forty-first year of our lord, the PS2, and there is only war.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/11(Sun)05:42 No.15932197
    rolled 98 = 98

    oddly fitting.
    >> Espagnoll !/5aJFFL8RI 08/14/11(Sun)05:43 No.15932201
    I still say we should conquer /fit/ islands. Their god is dead and their clerics can't cast divine spells.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/11(Sun)05:44 No.15932206
    ...why is it shaped like China?

    was that by acident?
    >> Anonymous 08/14/11(Sun)07:37 No.15932908
    rolled 96 = 96

    Because this is the warring boards period.

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