How did the /b/arbarians take the message we sent them?

>THE LANDS OF /tg/:
A small nation, on the very edge of civilization; the people here are hardy and inventive, but are often divided by things that outsiders see as trivial or foolish. Despite their shortcomings, they have the potential to be much greater... And you will see to it that it is achieved.

You have recently gained the title of Lord, and the control of the smallest territory in the Lands of /tg/. Nevertheless, you will achieve your goal - complete dominion over all of Forchania!

>IMPORTANT INFORMATION:
1. You are Lord Bidhill of Dessex, the smallest territory within the lands of /tg/. You are currently at war with your only neighboring territory, Umbra, who, in an attempt of a hostile takeover, killed the previous lord while he was attempting to negotiate a truce under a white flag.

2. You held an audience with an emissary from the Hammerfell Mountainhome. The dwarves there were also attacked by Umbra, and suffered heavy losses before managing to seal the major tunnels (mostly with magma). In exchange for military aid and mining rights, the dwarves agreed to lend food to your near-empty food stores. You also learned a Dwarven expletive: "Kobold-Fucker."

3. You have sent several small groups of messengers to each of the other three territories (Cadia, Blackmoor, and Golarion), and your dwarven allies have agreed to send a small, elite force through the tunnels towards Cadia, and another set into the Mountainhomes of Umbra, in an attempt to foster dissent.

4. You are attempting to foster better relations with the local druids (for their fertility magic), and trying to train more Divine Magic users (for use against the dark Umbra menace).

>Cont. Next Post

>(Cont. >>15936944 )
5. You are training Crossbowmen, and your Dwarven allies have agreed to aid in the training of your melee forces. The Dwarves are having some of their miners focus on Silver, in hopes of dealing with the Shapeshifters of Umbra.

6. The Blackwatch (the border between Dessex and /b/) has been reinforced, thanks to the Dwarves; several Dwarven Platoons are also aiding in patrols. The border between Dessex and Umbra has been bolstered by Earth Mages.

7. You and Kahl (your War Minister) came up with a devious plan, and have begun spreading propaganda into the Wastelands of /b/, all of which contain various poorly-written insults and even worse drawings of penises, with Umbra's

seal upon them, in the hopes that it would cause the /b/arbarians to focus their assaults on the less-defended Umbra-/b/order.

>SIDE-NOTES:
1. Rumors say that the /k/ Republic is secretly funding the /vp/ rebels. While not terribly important at present, it may help later.

2. Resurrection Magic is not Possible

3. Paladins and Clerics exist within the lands of /tg/, and /v/, to a smaller extent. Cadians worship technology.

4. Women are considered equal to men in Dessex; it is different in other lands, especially /b/ and /v/.

5. Long have tales of /d/emons from beyond the mortal realm been spun by the bards. While they may be simple fairy tales, if these shape-shifting avatars of lust are real, they may prove useful allies... or dangerous enemies.

>IMPORTANT INDIVIDUALS:
1. Sir Kahl (War Minister): An aging knight, who suffers from a debilitating wound to the leg he recieved decades ago in single combat with one of the most powerful Warlords of /b/. Despite his failing body, his mind is as sharp as

ever.

2. Valarius (Diplomatic Minister): Middle-Aged and balding, but jolly and good-natured. He loves to drink, and, as such, becomes incredibly happy when Dwarven Envoys arrive.

3. Urvash Strongbeard (Dwarven Emmisary): The emissary of the Hamerfell Mountainhome. He seemed like a good sort; honorable and honest, though not much for decorum.

>Hmm... This is really long. I'll probably just make it an image next time.

Nearly a week has passed, and you find yourself seated in your dining hall, in a meeting with the various nobles of Dessex.

You take a bite of the stew before you, uncertain of whether you enjoy it or not; the Dwarves use far too much mushroom for your tastes, but the flavor is delightful.

After a few moments, one of the nobles (Erik Norton, you believe his name is) at the table slams his fists against it, causing his bowl to shake, spilling some of its contents.

"I cannot believe this!" He cries, standing up and glaring at you. "First, you deplete the food stores without consulting us, and now we must eat this... this... DWARVEN TRASH! How dare you!"

Several other nobles begin to murmur in agreement, nodding their heads as they look between you and the irate noble. Before you can respond, your War Minister, Sir Kahl, rises from his chair; he has already eaten three bowls of the stuff, you notice, but the mushroom stuck to his beard does little to distract from the fury of his gaze. He has drawn his sword, and points it across the table at Norton.

"You will address our Liege with respect, knave, or I will cut out your tongue!"

The other nobles rise from their seats, and a cacophony of shouts, insults, threats, and accusations flies across the table.

>Wat Do?
>Roll 1d100 for Suggestions; Similar Suggestions will be added together. Stupid suggestions will be ignored.
>HOW TO ROLL: In the Email Field, type "dice+1d100" without the quotation marks.

>Yeah. I definitely need to shorten up this intro a bit. Shit be ridiculous up in here.

rolled 25 = 25

Punch Norton in the snout to establish superiority.

>>15936981
Have the dissenting noble arrested. For a week, have him held in confinement and fed the scraps from the tables of our Dwarven ally's ambassadors. True "Dwarven trash", to teach him the difference.

Dissent from our lessers may be tolerated, but blatant rebellion and stupidity will not.

On the other hand, we need to discuss the food issue with our underlings. Ask them to consult among themselves and choose three of their number to air their grievances on the issue. If nothing else, their choices should be telling.

rolled 13 = 13

>>15937060
Seconding this.

Not sure what the rolling's for, but here you go.

rolled 80 = 80

>>15936981
"If you would prefer the xenophobic sensibilities of a wasteland dweller feel free to walk over our western border any time lord Norton"

>>15937060
>Please roll, good sir.

>"humances troller?" No, Captcha, I don't think this good man is a troll.

rolled 3 = 3

>>15937060
Seconding this.

Not sure what the rolling's for, but here you go.

>>15937092
>Determines how successful something is, and whether or not I use it. Highest Roll = Highest Likleyhood of Use.

rolled 6 = 6

>>15937087
>>15937060
These are both mine. Also, we should explain why we did what we did to the noble. Make it clear that we have little tolerance for fools or hate-mongering with the enemy at the gates. Rational arguments will be tolerated and considered, but stupidity and the useless will not.

rolled 28 = 28

>>15936981
"You dare insult our Dwarven allies? May I remind you that they have stood by us for generations through thick and thin! You will hold your tongue wretch or I shall pry it out with my bare hands.

>Will be back shortly; please hold.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nf8FCLT8S6A

If one spoke aloud, ten muse silently. There will be secret dissent on the shortage of domestic comestibles no matter what we do.

/fit/izens are highly concerned with diet. Perhaps they hold some stockroom secrets we can trade for? Offer them some grand boulders of granite to push, pull, and lift?

rolled 69 = 69

>>15937182
And they refer to our Dwarven allies as "Squatz"

rolled 47 = 47

>>15937167
Precisely why we must crush dissent. Now.

Whatever we do to the noble, we must make it clear that such dissent/malingering/blind prejudice will not be allowed. The Dwarves are our ally, but we should make it clear that while they have our respect, we are not their patsy. It's a fine line to walk.

Watch for signs of dissent. Have our nobles watched. Try and subvert their servants if possible.

>Bitches don't like dorf food.
The fuck is this shit?
Seriously. Who doesn't like dorfy soup.

rolled 42 = 42

>Order the guards to tie Norton to a rolling table, ass-up face down, and leave him in the wastes of /b/

>>15937189
We must crush the dissent but also show that we are compassionate to the plight, and listening. We will be overthrown otherwise.

We must solve the problem of our own depleted stores. Perhaps we could ask our Dwarven allies to sap the Umbran granaries and steal their contents? Turn our problem into their problem?

>>15937189
Let's handle it with a little more finesse than "TO THE DUNGEON WITH YE!" perhaps a more polite offer to host the dissenting lord at your palace for the weekend, making sure to tell him in great detail about the new scorpion pit you had installed and how he simply must see it.

>>15937225
Too harsh. We would alienate one part of our council, and confirm the fears of the rest.

Besides, the bloated snake would only prove a liability in the hands of the /b/arbarians. He might even live long enough to spill secrets.

If we kill him, it must happen as an "accident" or a quick, clean execution.

rolled 13 = 13

Calmly walk to the noble and smash his head into his bowl.
Then ask if anyone else has objects to food situation

The main problem isn't his dissent. He's raising a good point, actually.

The problems are his blatant stupidity and his dwarf-phobia. We cannot allow stupidity or irrational xenophobia in our leaders at this juncture. If he doesn't have the diplomatic skill to smile and eat the food of an ally when requested by his leader, he is not worthy of his position.

Start making arrangements for him to be removed in the near future. For now, we punish him appropriately for stupidity, then invite the remaining leaders to discuss the food situation and their suggestions. Make them feel like you are their leader.

rolled 3 = 3

>>15937265
No. We will not allow a buffoon to jeopardize our relationship with our allies. Neither can we let him out of our sight.

We're promoting him to something where we can watch him and where he is powerless.

He's going to be our new minister of food distribution. He oversees the work of food distribution and makes recommendations, but has no actual power over where food goes.

/k/ommando here.

I have no clue why we would *ever* support /vp/; they pretty much have nothing to do with us. We hate /fit/ (hurr fists can beat guns you faggot pussy gun-nerd), /v/ makes us rage (LOL SHOTGUNS DON'T WORK PAST 20 FEET), and many of our best members (see: Phil Ossiferz Stone and Madfag/Mildly Petubred) post on /tg/ quite often.

We're probably your best buddies, aside from /co/.

rolled 10 = 10

"The people must eat, we are solving the problem as hastily as possible. And please do not insult our allies, they have been good to us in these less then ideal times. Let us be thankful we can even eat. Besides, try the wine. You may just change your tune when you taste Dwarven drink.

rolled 14 = 14

>>15937359
Tolerance of his boorish behavior would be tantamount to encouraging rebellion. Others will follow in this fool's footsteps if we do not discourage...rashness.

I hope all of you realise that while /n/ is but a small nation they rule the transport of goods with an iron rail.

rolled 75 = 75

I suggest we ask High Lady Michele Bachman for advice

rolled 64 = 64

Say this:
"This food, good or bad, is the food we have. If you are not man enough to eat quietly a meal you don't like, how can i expect you to hold of a siege? How can I count on you to stay in the front line if they cut our supplies? I'm sorry but in the present conditions of our lands, we cannot afford to eat venison and boar with honey everyday. You disappoint me lord Norton, and therefore I give you two options, seat down, eat your meal with a smile up your face, or be stripped of your title and conditions. A noble should be the first to starve when the need comes, and the last to eat when the food arrives. Think about this and enjoy your soup."

rolled 95 = 95

>>15937407
What about our spiritual liege Ron Paul?

rolled 74 = 74

>>15937547
NO NO NO NO. THIS IS NOT SO.

>once a proud, unified nation
>/v/

>>15937503
>>15937020
>>15937095
>>15937125
>>15937189
>>15937367
>>15937503

You slowly rise from the table, not saying a word. As you do, the shouting match abates, as the gathered nobles look to you. Sir Kahl sheathes his sword, but is still glaring daggers at Norton, whom you turn to.

"Sir Norton," you begin, trying to resist the urge to smash his face into his bowl of soup,

"This food, good or bad, is the food we have. If you are not man enough to eat quietly a meal you don't like, how can I expect you to hold of a siege?"

"How can I count on you to stay in the front line if they cut our supplies? I'm sorry but in the present conditions of our lands, we cannot afford to eat venison and boar with honey everyday."

He begins to speak, his face turning red, but a sharp look from Sir Kahl stops him.

"You disappoint me lord Norton," you continue, "and therefore I give you two options, seat down, eat your meal with a smile up your face, or be stripped of your title and conditions."

Norton's expression turns to one of horror. You smile.

"A noble should be the first to starve when the need comes, and the last to eat when the food arrives. Think about this and enjoy your soup."

Norton looks as if he is about to explode with fury, but the look in your eyes quells him, and he lowers his head, his face as red as a tomato.

"I... Yes, your Lordship. I apologize for my disrespect."

"It isn't me you should be apologizing to, Sir Norton," you say, pointing to the dwarves. Urvash Strongbeard, the Dwarven emissary, simply laughs.

>I realize this wasn't the highest-rolled, but it was similar in nature, and it got bonus points for effort.

"If you don't eat your dinner, Norton, you won't get any icecream for dessert." Say this in the most condescending and patronising tone imaginable.

>>15937617
Mother FUCKER, I'm always slowpoke.

>>15937345
>>15937573
>Not EVERYTHING is an exact anthropomorphized version of how the boards actually are; if they were, it would just be a bunch of neckbeards flinging shit at each other.

>The reason /k/ supports /vp/ is because it allows it to watch /v/ get pummeled.

>/v/ used to be unified, because otherwise it wouldn't make sense for it to be a massive empire. That is all.

rolled 98 = 98

We should then ask the nobles to meet with us at the completion of the meal. A private conference, not for the ears of oursiders. Even our honored Dwarven allies.

Then we can talk about the food problem.

>>15937635
Gotcha

>>15937617
>>15937629
Urvash chuckles.

"Ya know, Norton, my mother always said something to me at a time like this..." He puts on a high-pitched, feminine (for a dwarf) voice:

"If ya don't eat your dinner, you won't get any icecream for dessert!"

The dwarves (and Sir Kahl) howl with laughter, and Norton says nothing. You raise a hand, silencing them.

"Enough, good sirs. I feel he understands."

The rest of the meal proceeds quite well, and, as everyone begins to leave, Urvash moves towards you.

"You got some massive stones, friend. I'm glad I'll never have to fight ya."

And with that, he leaves.

A few hours later, you find yourself seated in your Throne Room, attending to matters of state. Suddenly, you hear the doors open, and your Spy Master, Sir Soren, enters the room.

He is a small man, his features often hidden in the shadows of his dark cloak, but you can see that his soot-black hair is beginning to show streaks of gray.

“My Lord,” he says, his voice soft, but somehow carrying as if he was right next to you, “I have news of the couriers sent to the other territories.”

The various scribes and advisors in the room leave quietly, as is expected whenever the Spymaster would wish to speak with his Lord.

Soren waits until the all of the others in the room have left, and places two sealed scrolls on the small table in front of your throne.

“These are the replies from Lord Xagyg of Blackmoor, and Lady Casmaron of Golarion, my Lord.”

>Wat do? Roll 1d100 for Suggestions (“dice+1d100” in Email Field)

rolled 72 = 72

>>15937675
Now it's time to do something bold to show cadia they are fighting the wrong people. Issue a public and official challenge for the champions of each kingdom to meet in the field of honor. You got the might of the dwarves to fight in your favor. I bet they can beat any champion cadia throws at us. And if you pay harbringers, bards and minstrels to announce it in every city on both kingdom, it will be a shame when they refuse to meet your demands. Winning in this may give us the moral highground, and meanwhile we prepare an army for the battle.

rolled 91 = 91

>>15937691
...
Check for traps?

rolled 45 = 45

>>15937691
Read the replies. Have our spymaster quietly arrange for agents to report on our underlings.

And for the sake of the dice gods, get our advisors and lords on-side before the inevitable hidden treason starts. Or gets worse. Can we have the food discussion after talking with our spymaster?

rolled 18 = 18

>>15937691
Read the replies

>>15937710
>LOL.

You carefully examine each scroll; neither seems to be rigged, mainly because...

... Well, they're SCROLLs.

You break the seal on the scroll from Lord Xagyg, and you are startled slightly as a heavy black ring falls onto the table, ringing like a silver bell as it does. Ignoring it for now, you read the letter.

>Most Honorable Lord Bidhill of Dessex;
>Long have we suspected the Umbrans of magic and deeds most foul. While the news of your suffering pains us greatly, we are, regretfully, unable to send aid.

>The /b/arbarian horde has been pressing against our south-west border for months, and we have no more troops to spare to send you aid. We also cannot afford to cease our trade agreements with the Umbrans, or our people will starve.

>However, I have concealed within this letter a small token, to show that we do not ignore those who require our assistance. This ring was enchanted by myself, and six of my court's strongest magi. With it, you will be able to see through any illusion, so long as it is not beyond my power.

>>15937730
You realize that Lord Xagyg is one of the most powerful Wizards in /tg/; if he combined his might with six other Blackmoor Wizards (and all Blackmoor Wizards are legendary for their Arcane Might), it seems incredibly unlikely that any illusion could best this artifact.

You continue reading:

>While I understand that this may be of little comfort, I pray you will understand our plight. Though we cannot openly ally ourselves with you now, know that we will be watching, and, when the time is right, know that we will come.

>Sincerely, Lord Xagyg Regald, Ruler of Blackmoor

You look over the note for a few more moments, before carefully donning the ring.

Suddenly, you feel a slight stinging in your eyes, but it disappears as quickly as it came. When you open your eyes, you are slightly disappointed to see that nothing seems to have changed... Until you notice Soren's cowl.

You can see his face as if it was lit by the sun, and you realize the omnipresent shadow covering it was not, in fact, because of his hood, but was actually an illusion!

>>15937730
Explosive Runes, Symbol of Death/Pain/Insanity, etc.

You open the letter from Lady Casmaron, and begin to read:

>To Whom It May Concern
>Lady Casmaron finds it preposterous that you would accuse the ever-noble Umbrans of foul play.

Oh, this won't end well...

>Lady Casmaron also finds it preposterous that you would expect her to aid you in the subversion of a fellow Ruler of the Lands of /tg/.

>As such, Lady Casmaron has imprisoned the messengers you sent to Lady Casmaron's Royal Hall, where they shall await execution for slander and treason.

>Lady Casmaron believes you should prepare yourself for the same.

>Sincerely, Lady Casmaron of Golarion

Well... Shit. Looks like you can't expect magic rings in EVERY letter.

Soren looks at you.

"What shall we do, My Lord?"

rolled 100 = 100

>>15937607
"We nobles must be just in our dealings, the safety of our people must be our first and primary priority, take this to heart my good friends. We nobles exist for their sake, to act as guardians and overseers, not as tyrants. Lords and Ladies we must be kind and even handed with our dealings lest we find ourselves being overrun with angry people. Forgive me for taking your time with this small speech but I believe it was a perfect example of humility." Then we sit back down and enjoy our meal..

rolled 95 = 95

>>15937732
We issue an alliance request to the Kobolds of the kingdom

>>15937746
Worse than that they might say "ur a fagget"

rolled 91 = 91

>>15937749
The Lady's treachery shall be repaid another time. For now, we must deal with the foe at hand.

rolled 83 = 83

>>15937749
Rolling for how big a bag of dicks we send Lady Casmaron in response.

we're /tg/ right why havent we built a super weapon yet?

rolled 15 = 15

We should now discuss our military situation and our supply problems - our honoured Dwarven allies should be included, as if it weren't for them, we'd have starved now.

We need to begin organisation of a military force to follow up behind the hordes of /b/ once they attack Umbra. We also need to find out what the results of our messengers to the other provinces were.

rolled 38 = 38

>>15937749
"Put on our robes and wizard hats"

rolled 76 = 76

>>15937749
>Bitches and whores.

Really though, it's safe to assume she's aware of Umbra being a bunch of cunts and is one herself. Not much we can do but keep in mind that Umbra and little miss cuntalot are allies.

rolled 70 = 70

>>15937749
Say to the spy master to prepare a rescue missin for the messenger, if we still have time. Not about saving him, as much as showing Lady Bitch she can't execute a messenger.

In other news, we are alone against umbra, so we NEED to know how they forces are organized, positioned and how much they are. Tell your spymaster to find it all out. He will have all funds the crown can spend without stopping the training of the army. Also we should ask the dwarves to tran a platton of sappers to dig underneath enemy walls and cave-in the tunnels causing it to fall. Its out best shot agaisnt umbra.

Not much to do for now but log that information away. Can we notice illusions with the ring on? If someone's trying to be sneaky, I want to know about it.

rolled 61 = 61

Assuming madame cunt is allied with Umbra we should be extra careful when traversing their land. Invest in 12 pound sledgehammers on a rope to check for traps!

rolled 85 = 85

>>15937732

Roll for success of next scroll, I guess.

>>15937773
>>15937775
>>15937826
>>15937773
>>15937775
>>15937788

"We will deal with Casmaron's treachery when we can. We have to deal with our immediate adversaries for now. However, I want you to organize your contacts in Golarion. See if we cannot rescue those messengers."

Soren grins beneath his hood.

"Indeed, Sire. I believe I can manage that."

As he leaves, you slump into your throne.

That fucking bitch.

rolled 28 = 28

We need to begin organising our forces, and send out more spies to Umbra to find out the political situation there - if there are those we could use to destabilise them, such as non-dickish vampires and werewolves, we should try to get them to side with us and start a resistance movement within Umbra.

rolled 58 = 58

Yes, make them dig their own grave, send spies, spread lies find allies!

rolled 78 = 78

>>15937873

This!

>ersignia political - Thank you for agreeing, Captcha!

rolled 73 = 73

>>15937872
This is what we should do. Invade the southern region to gain a safe route to the Blackmoor. The estrategy is two make a medieval Blitzkrieg. Take our army there by the underground, emerge and conquer the main fortress in the quickest way we can. Send the army divided in two.

>>15937828
>The ring makes you see as if no illusion existed; however, you feel a bit of a... tingle... behind your eyes whenever you look at one. Looking at Soren behind his shadow veil, for instance. It is slightly uncomfortable, but that is all.

You call in Sir Kahl and Urvash Strongbeard.

"Gentlemen. It would appear that we are alone in this war. We can only hope we receive news from Cadia soon. Until then, we must prepare our forces."

You turn to Urvash.

"Stonelord Urvash. I have often heard of the Dwarven mastery of explosives. Is this true?"

He grins, "Aye, Lord, it is. What'd ya have in mind?"

You explain to him the need for sappers to weaken the defenses of your foes. He nods.

"Yes, I believe we can manage that, me Lord. It'll take time, but we can do it."

Soon, Soren returns. He informs you that he has taken the liberty of activating his network, and he will likely have a report for you in a few days.

He also says that news of the Messengers' fates should arrive in about a week; it is likely that they will not be executed until then, as it is during carnival in the capital, and traitors are traditionally killed there as an example.

rolled 90 = 90

>>15937872
Adressing our food shortage, do we have a minister for tithe collection?
If we do, we should have a chat with him about how to produce more food.
Our commoners surely must have some ineffective ways in their farming.
Here we can gain the food we need so badly.
Also our wizards shall see what they can do to enhance the harvest.

rolled 48 = 48

>>15937940
This sounds like a german plan. So it should work as long as we dont invade russia. I second this with my roll

>>15937958
After the meeting with Kahl, Urvash, and Soren, you consider organizing a meeting with your agricultural minister.

Before you can voice the idea, however, you hear a knock on the door. A man in billowing green-and-brown robes enters the room, holding a gnarled wooden staff. There is a mouse riding on his shoulder.

He bows before you. The mouse on his shoulder does the same.

“Lord Bidhill of Dessex. I am Ogden, Grand-Druid of the Sylvan Grove. It has come to our attention that you wish to speak with-”

The door opens again, interrupting Ogden, as a new person enters the room, this one a woman.

Though her face is young, her hair is as white as driven snow, matching the silk robes she wears, which sparkle softly in the morning light filtering into the throne room. She, too, carries a staff, but this one is made from what looks like bright-white mithril, topped with a large amethyst. She bows to you, apparently not noticing that someone else is right next to her.

“Most Honorable Lord Bidhill, I am Akara, High-Priestess of the Order of Light. It pleases me greatly that you requested our aid in these dark times, and-”

“Excuse me, but I was speaking, Priestess!”

Akara looks at Ogden, her serene expression shifting as if she had just noticed a stain on her pure-white robes.

“Ah. I didn't see you there, Ogden. Surely you have other things to do than waste the Most Honorable Lord's time? Climb trees? Mate with some foul beast?”

Ogden's expression turns sour, and the mouse on his shoulder chitters angrily at the woman, standing in a boxer's fighting stance, tiny fists raised.

This will be fun.

rolled 43 = 43

>>15937940
I was thinking the same when mentioning /fit/ for food. Access to Blackmoor is access to the ocean.

rolled 68 = 68

>>15937940

Organise our forces to do this - we'll be better off if we can get supplies from Blackmoor.

Also this >>15937958 - we need to make our farming and harvesting methods more efficient - perhaps give Norton that task, since it keeps him close to us, and means he has something to keep him busy, rather than trying to organise a rebellion.

rolled 5 = 5

Also, inquire as to whether there are any noteworthy wood crafters. While we lack sufficient metal to outfit our army wood armor, if treated properly and covered in hardened leather would work as makeshift armor until we can get a proper metal industry going.(I'm under the assumption that we have little metal to spare.)It hurts to suggest this when metal is an option but we are a small land.

rolled 63 = 63

>>15937994
Have the mouse and the lady box to the death.

rolled 55 = 55

>>15937994
Fact: this two will fuck in a given time during the quest.

But on our deal: Of with the druids head. We only have one religion in this realm, a it says we are god. High priestess will agree, yes?

rolled 90 = 90

>>15937994

Inform them both that Nature and the Light are both aspects of this world's goodliness, and such infighting does naught but strengthen the dark forces of Umbra. We must work together to defeat them.

Allow Ogden to continue, and then ask Akara to state her message - then see if they can work together to make their powers more efficient.

rolled 80 = 80

>>15937994
Mental Note: Akara's a classist bitch. Play to her vanity, parley with her first, but don't rely on her contributions. Ogden seems fairly detached and neutral. Didn't seem to want to commit to support in opening phrase, didn't take Akara's baiting. Possible bro-ness. Use actions to speak louder than words.

rolled 14 = 14

>>15938040
Rolling for this

rolled 98 + 1 = 99

>>15938040
>>15938044
Two ideas fair and wise.
Let's toss a coin.

rolled 58 = 58

>>15937994

'Thank you, both of you, for coming at this dire hour. While disagreements may have been rife in the past, now we need to come together so that we will not be crushed beneath Umbra's darkness. One thorn may make the difference between victory and defeat; all are needed.'

rolled 45 = 45

>>15938040
Ogden seems chill enough, I say we let Akara say what she shall, and inform Ogden that despite her attitude she is a vital part of your council. I'm sure he'll understand, and can then continue with what he was going to say.

>>15938040
>>15938044
>>15938062

You clear your throat, drawing their attention - though the mouse is still glaring daggers at Akara.

"I thank you - both of you - for coming at this dire hour. However, we must put past disagreements BEHIND us if we are to survive. Both Nature and Light are aspects of this world's beauty, and if they cannot be united, the Darkness of Umbra will consume them both."

Akara scoffs at this, but is otherwise silent. Ogden just sighs. The mouse rolls its eyes.

"Now then," you continue, "High Priestess Akara, if you would?"

Ogden looks at you with anger for a moment, before comprehension dawns. He is still unhappy, but understands what you are doing. Akara just looks smug.

"Indeed. Ahem." She curtsies, before continuing, "As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, I am Akara, High-Priestess of the Order of Light. We received your request for aid, and that is why I am here. While most of our order are rather busy healing the sick and wounded at the moment, we do have a squad of Paladins that we could afford to lend you."

She snaps her fingers impatiently, and 12 plate-armored paladins enter the room.

"These men are veteran fighters, and should serve you well."

She looks at you, obviously expecting gratitude.

rolled 80 = 80

>>15938150
throw her a bone and dismiss her

Gentlemen. Is it possible that no word has come from Cadia because /b/arbarians have overrun their lands?

rolled 55 = 55

"We thank you for such a generous gift, High Priestess - it is fitting that the Light joins us in the fight against the Darkness. It will be good to fight alongside such valiant warriors, for the glory of the Light and for Dessex."

Bow to her, take her hand, and kiss it - it pays to be polite, and to suck up to people, sometimes.

Then turn to the Druid, and say "And you, Grand Druid of all Nature, can we hope that you have come to bring us good news also. Gaia will be pleased, I expect, to have the vile corruption of Umbra swept from these lands."

rolled 33 = 33

>>15938168
Phrase it as not wishing to consume her time/distract her from affairs of the church any more than necessary.

Send the Paladins to consult with Kahl on how they'll be integrated.

When room is empty, ask Ogden what her deal is. Get to discussing what he showed up to ask. Spend time answering his inquiries, wait for him to be ready to leave.

rolled 79 = 79

>>15938198

I agree with this - we need to keep them both on side.

I hope that twelve paladins is actually an amount that matters in this.

Make the proper yammer of thanks, and once she leaves apologise to Ogden. Talk about how the priestess is a bitch, but you can't afford to make enemies.

>>15938222
my dicre roller isn't working, wtf.

>>15938168
"Thank you very much, High-Priestess."

She huffs impatiently.

"Yes, yes, now, if there is nothing else? The stench in here is atrocious..."

She gives a telling look to Ogden, who ignores it. The mouse climbs to the top of his head, and begins to raise its leg at the priestess, only for Ogden to swiftly pull it down into the hood of his robe, blushing slightly.

"Buta, behave yourself!" You hear him whisper.

Akara gives a gasp of shock, and leaves in a huff.

Ogden watches her leave, before turning to you.

"I... apologize for my behavior, my Lord. I should not have risen to her bait."

rolled 71 = 71

>>15938229
oh that's the problem, i just wrote d100 instead of 1d100.

>>15938240

>Ogden watches her leave

Yeah I bet he did.

rolled 37 = 37

>>15938240
Assure he him didn't betray to us that bait had been taken. We were in his position we would have asserted the priviledge of having arrived first and brought about a quarrel. His composure speaks very well of Druids and their training.

>>15938271
>>15938222

These two - He seems like a bro, so let's make him so.

rolled 93 = 93

>>15938240
>>15938240
(assuming she's gone now)
"I can't blame you, I don't know why half the kingdom is comprised of spoiled children. In fact, I should be apologising to you. It was unfair of me to keep you waiting for her sake, but you're intelligent enough to not throw a tantrum over it. I know your time is valuable, so go ahead and speak."

rolled 9 = 9

>>15938295

Fucking dice roller *shakes fist*

>>15938305
IKR.
Also, I see what you did there with the mouse OP.

rolled 24 + 1 = 25

>>15938240
About this:>>15938300

We need to listen to him and surely we can use a helping hand with our crops.
Also: Amnesty for the mice!

>>15938198
>>15938208
>>15938222
>>15938271
Assure he him didn't betray to us that bait had been taken. We were in his position we would have asserted the priviledge of having arrived first and brought about a quarrel. His composure speaks very well of Druids and their training.

Send the Paladins to consult with Kahl on how they'll be integrated.

You smile at Ogden.

"Do not worry, Sir Druid. Were it I in your position, I would likely have asserted the priviledge of having arrived first and brought about a quarrel. Your composure speaks very well of Druids and their training."

Ogden nods, a slight smile on his face, and you tell the Paladins to report to Sir Kahl for their assignments.

"Thank you, sire. You give me too much credit." He clears his throat, "Now, um... I believe you wished to speak with me about the Fertility Magic of my Order?" He looks around, making sure no one is around, before speaking again:

"Is this about your lack of an heir, my Liege?"

rolled 35 = 35

>>15938334
>u need sum herbal viagra?
actual RL lol

>>15938334
>MFW I accidentally leave shit in I was using for reminders.
>Again.

rolled 100 = 100

>>15938240
I do not hold you at fault, she is very trying at times. I do hope I did not offend either of you, but those from Umbra have done heinous acts, and have no doubt they will slaughter everything that moves should they break our lines. And, good Grand Druid, that brings me to why I requested your presence. We are in dire straights, our farms are not producing high enough to feed our people, we are forced to rely on our allies for food. This cannot continue, we need more vitalized land. I know of your powerful magicks and formally request your aid in revitalizing our fields.

>>15938334
No, shit! We send the paladins out FIRST!

rolled 60 = 60

>>15938334
No, I will create an heir in due time. I believe myself potent enough to get that job done. But rather, the land. You might have heard of our problems with crops. We are in dire need of your help.

>>15938361
with any luck the paladins will keep quiet and be bro-flavored pallies and not Spess Mehrens.

>>15938334
>He wants to fuck.

rolled 27 = 27

>>15938334
Hah! Not at this time, Grand-Druid. Instead, I worry of my people now. Our supplies of food are depleted. We rely on the Dwarven foods of the deep earth. The subjects here crave their comfort foods of the surface world. First and foremost, I seek aid in preventing famine.

rolled 14 = 14

"Whilst that is, indeed, a problem, sir Druid, it is not our most pressing one. Our lands are in need of better crops, those that spread and grow stronger, so that our people may not want for food, allowing us to focus on the war against the Umbran darkness. Is there anything you and your order can do to help us with this?"

*whisper on the side* "Also, yea, could you help me get it up better? Fighting a war is kinda stressful, and... well, you know how these things are..."

rolled 4 = 4

>>15938393
If the High Priestess is any indication...

Stupid map. Any good empire would expand to the coasts for trade.

rolled 22 = 22

>>15938412
>>15938355

These two - our fields need help, and us getting a little sumthin-sumthin to help us dick some concubines to get an heir would be good.

If he has some "herbal smokes" as well, it'd be appreciated - we'll make sure to legalise it after we've finished this war.

>>15938379
>>15938355
You chuckle slightly, and shake your head.

"No, Sir Druid, that will... Not be necessary. I feel I am capable of producing an heir when the time comes. More, I was hoping you could help us with our crops...?"

Ogden flushes crimson, bowing.

"I-I am so sorry, my lord! We were just told you needed fertility magic, and it is known that you have no heir, and-"

He takes a deep breath, calming himself.

"My apologies. However, yes, we can aid you. The food shortage is known to us; though, it is not caused by any natural phenomena. The fields along the Umbra border are certainly the most fertile, and when they were razed..."

You nod, "Yes, it destroyed nearly half of our harvest. We need to make up for this. Can you do it?"

Ogden taps his staff on the floor, grinning. Buta the Mouse gives you... what appears to be a thumbs up.

"Yes, I think we can, My Lord. I will have the rest of the circle begin preparations immediately; I think you will find your food troubles over with shortly."

And, with that, he leaves.

rolled 76 = 76

>>15938412
Hey,nothing's greater than applying viagra to a working engine.
Forget sleep.

>>15938361
>>15938393
>Worry not; the Paladins left to report to Sir Kahl. And Ogden checked to make sure no one else was around; doctor/patient confidentiality.

rolled 75 = 75

>>15938446
Have the appropriate administrators begin the process of setting aside a few square miles of "nature preserve" to gift to Ogden's order.

rolled 62 = 62

>>15938467

This. Then, call in the war council, see how training's going, and make preparations for the blitzkrieg plan the other anon detailed.

>>15938439
/k/ and /vp/ prevent it to the west. The Empire DID once cover the south/south-east coast, but it has been slowly shrinking as time passes. That's why the "ring" of /b/ is so thin there; they have just taken it recently.

rolled 53 = 53

>>15938478

This - we need to prepare for war, but we should also ensure to reward those that assist us, especially since Ogden is such a bro.

rolled 18 = 18

My dear gentlemen.
How about we try and conquer lands to our south-west?
This would grant us a direct route to Blackmoore and the possibility of a united front.
If we do it right, we can force some tribes of /b/ to move east and enter Umbria.
Thus they would have the problem, we the land and most of /b/ would not even notice what we did.

rolled 16 = 16

>>15938527

I don't feel too good about opening up two fronts, to two different enemies.

>>15938512
>>15938467
>>15938478
As Ogden leaves, you make a note to inform your Agricultural Minister to set aside some land for Ogden's Circle as a gift for their aid.

After that, you call in Sir Kahl. He arrives, still limping terribly, but with a grin on his face.

"HA HA! PALADINS, your grace! I cannot believe you managed to get a hod of them! Twelve!"

He frowns.

"Well, twelve isn't a whole lot, really, but, GODS BE PRAISED! With Paladins on our side, we'll make this filthy Umbran vermin pay!"

He seems to realize his breach of etiquette, and swiftly straightens (causing him to grimace), and giving a crisp salute.

"Um... You asked to see me, My Liege?"

rolled 24 = 24

>>15938542
BMoor is a potential ally. We'd be opening supply lines and unifying a longer potential front.

In either case, I think we need to do it for access to sea trade via BMoor, regardless of if they openly ally.

rolled 19 = 19

>>15938542
Single tribes of /b/arbarians are no threat to us.
But them pillaging through Umbria while we are at their backs will surely distress those suckers.

>>15938477
>Nope. Giant Space Hamster.
>
>
>That was a joke.

rolled 58 = 58

Er, wait, not the south-west and /b/, but the south-east and Umbria. See this:
>>15937940

rolled 51 = 51

>>15938570
When it is just us you need not worry about all the pomp and general silliness of court. Relax yourself, sit. We have urgent matters to discuss.

rolled 24 = 24

>>15938527
>>15938575

This - we need to get better supply lines through to Blackmoor, and from there to the sea, and beyond - if we could get /k/ to supply us with arms, we'd be sorted.

rolled 40 = 40

>>15938605
>>15938616

This please!

rolled 39 = 39

Actually... looking at that map... How do we know the message from Lady Casmagarburwhatever was actually from her and not intercepted in Umbria?

I think we should consult Soren on his confidence in the messages and their veracity.

rolled 81 = 81

>>15938570

Ah yes. How goes our troops' training? And what do we know of the fortifications the Umbrans have along our border? (specifically, the area outlined by >>15937940

rolled 15 = 15

>>15938570
Since the minister of war is here, shown him thsi map and ask him what he thinks. Blitzkrieg this territory >>15937940 = map

rolled 55 = 55

>>15938570
Aside from the training, on which I would like to hear your opinion, you should ask Ogden for help with your leg before he departs.
Also what is your opinion about invading /b/ to the south-west?

>>15938632
Holy shit, I didn't even think of this.

rolled 44 = 44

>>15938661

Seconding the bit about the leg.

rolled 80 = 80

Yes, let the blitzkrieg begin! We shall open a proper route to Blackmoore.

rolled 95 = 95

>>15938653

Supportin'!

rolled 51 = 51

>>15938542
>>15938729
Should we try to craft some portable fortifications to quickly extend our borders once we annex the small section of /b/

rolled 69 = 69

>>15938770

Seconding

>>15938613
You raise a hand to Sir Kahl reassuringly.

"Relax. When it is just us, you do not need to behave in such a manner. Please, take a seat."

He nods, and takes a seat, letting out a slight sigh of relief.

>>15938661
>>15938676
You eye his leg critically.
"Now, before we begin, I feel that we must talk of your leg."

Sir Kahl raises an eyebrow.

"I assure you, my lord, it is nothing you need concern yourself with, I-"

You shake your head.

"No, I think I do need concern myself with it. You will speak with Grand-Druid Ogden about your leg when our meeting is adjourned. I shall make sure the spell cost is covered. Understood?"

Kahl nods, tears forming in his old eyes.

>>15938605
>>15938575
>>15938616
>>15938636
>>15938661

"Now, to the matter at hand..."

You show him a map you had drawn earlier, depicting a possible attempt to drive into Umbra.

He nods slightly, stroking his beard.

"Having a path to the sea would aid us greatly... And, with the help of those Paladins..."

He grins.

"We could very well pull that off."

>No offense to the guy who made the first map. I just did this one so I wouldn't need to post a link in the middle of the text.

rolled 2 = 2

>>15938770
We're not cutting into /b/ we are cutting into Umbra, but I concur. Portable fortifications to secure our new border as quickly as possible.

>>15938793
Horse carts!

>>15938793
>>15938770
Sir Kahl scowls.

"We will need something to protect the men. From both Umbra and the barbarians..."

You nod.

"How about... some form of portable fortification? We have plenty of tress; surely some sort of... I don't know, large wooden wall on wheels?"

You realize that sounds sort of silly.

>What do you suggest, /tg/?

>>15938823

When the normans invaded england they had pre-fabricated castles that could be assembled quickly after the conquest.

rolled 88 = 88

>>15938823
Depending on the druids views on trees being alive, I don't think they'd appreciate it if we started cutting down trees for siege weapons.

>>15938823

finally a super construct!

wood golem please /tg/

rolled 47 = 47

>>15938787
Now that you agree, Sir...
Do you think we could have some use for covered help from Blackmoor during this operation?
We have their sympathy, if not their hearts.
Maybe they could set up some arcane magic to soften down Umbran defenses.
I thought about blotting out the moon at night or brightest sunlight all day so those wretched creatures are at a disadvantage.
Also make sure to get our best crossbowmen some silver bolts.

rolled 81 = 81

>>15938838
Pre fabrication for rapid assembly, I like it.

rolled 88 = 88

>>15938823

Have pre-fab stockades built, and have them brought on carts after us - have them set up along the border of the area we take.

Once that's done, we could always ask the Dwarfs if they can build proper stone walls - we'll share our trade routes through Blackmoor with them in return.

>>15938838
>>15938855
You ponder for a moment, and remember being tutored by your family scribe, Mathias, as a young boy.

"I was once told of a people... From somewhere far from here. They created fortresses out of lumber, but split them into pieces. Then, they used boats to move them across the water, and swiftly pulled them together when they landed."

Kahl nods.

"I remember that tale. It may be possible; but, if we are annexing this territory anyway, it seems unnecessary; I believe there is a fortress there already. We just have to take it!"

>>15938849
>You know that the Druids do not mind the harvesting of lumber; they revere nature, but they understand its usefulness. If you were planning to burn down the trees and not use them for anything, then they may object, but not for something like this.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gulyay-gorod

We can also easily make some simple parts (shield walls basically) in workshops and allow the soldiers to clobber them together on-field on available carts like so
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zapSxda7HY&t=5m20s

Bam, instant mobile fortifications.

rolled 68 = 68

Instead of wooden walls, wooden towers on wheels. Put archers in them and use them as a sort of temporary border. Then we do as the other guy suggested with Dwarves and proper stone walls.

>>15938869
>>15938899

Good plan - having siege towers would be hella useful against Umbran fortifications, and would also mean we wouldn't have to damage the forts to take them.

>captcha - Kenneth followz - I'm not sure who Kenneth is, but he seems to support us.

rolled 1 = 1

>>15938923

And roll :P

rolled 54 = 54

>>15938899
And we wouldn't have to use wood for the towers, so no risk of pissing the druids off. Though wood would be quicker and lighter.

rolled 62 = 62

>>15938923
Also the dwarven allies of ours can always Strike the Earth! and dog us a tunnel into the fortress where the dwarves and paladins emerge and clobbber their defenses from behind while our regulars keep them busy on the other side.

>>15938891
>>15938899
Sir Kahl shakes his head.

"No, I think we need something quicker, more mobile..."

Suddenly, Urvash Strongbeard bursts in.

"Bah, you humans don't know anything about proper engineerin'!"

You ignore his vaguely insulting statement, and he continues:

"Ya have wagons. Ya have Shields. Ya have bloody Crossbows. Do I need to paint ye a picture?"

Sir Kahl nods slowly, understanding donning upon him.

"Of course. Some sort of... Wagon fortress. We cover the wagons with shields, but leave small openings for our crossbowmen to fire behind. Urvash, you are a genius!"

Urvash grins, and takes a swig of something that smells absolutely awful.

"Yeah, I know I am."

"Regardless," you say, interrupting the tender moment, "We will still need help. And though I know Stonelord Urvash will dislike this... It will most likely be magical help."

Urvash spits in indignation, which you, again, ignore.

"Pah! Magic. Ya got Dwarves!"

rolled 96 = 96

How extensive are the tunnels that blitzkrieg-anon mentioned in his post?

Sorry if this was mentioned in the last thread; I just got here.

>>15938943
"Ya got Dwarves," Indeed.

"Urvash." He looks at you.

"Yeah?"

"Would your people be able to... dig beneath the enemy stronghold?"

Urvash stops to think for a minute.

"Hmm... Well... We've never dug that far in that direction before, but... I don't see a reason we couldn't."

rolled 86 = 86

>>15938956

"The Umbran forces make use of both brute strength and magic, if we are to stand against them, we will need both sides of the coin as well. On their own, your engineering and the magic crafted by mages can accomplish amazing things. Think of what we can accomplish with both working side by side with each other."

>>15938969
>There are hundreds of Dwarven Mountainhomes across /tg/, and a few within /v/. Most of them do not connect with each other, though there are a few trade routes. The Dwarves attempting to reach the Mountainhomes in Umbra, for example, have to dig new tunnels to reach them.

rolled 93 = 93

>>15938977

We shall have an elite force tunnel in with the Dwarfs under the fortifications and attack from within, whilst having our wagon-forts attack with the rest of our forces from without.

>captcha - methods great - Apparently captcha supports us!

rolled 19 = 19

>>15938977
You don't need to make a consistent tunnel if you don't mind walking in the sun.
It would be enough to dig from our lines to theirs, once we siege them.

rolled 2 = 2

No, don't make the tunnels span too long, once we take what we have mapped out we slowly take over pockets of their land, we dig in those pockets into their fortresses, one big continuous tunnel would be VERY dangerous.

rolled 65 = 65

>>15939046
The North Koreans were smarter then that. This is basically vietnam. With us as the NK

>>15939005
>>15939015
>>15939046
"We don't need a continuous tunnel," you caution, "Merely a route from behind our lines to behind theirs."

Urvash nods. "Aye. One long tunnel would be a mite unreasonable. I see yer point."

"And as for magic-" Urvash raises a hand.

"Relax, me Lord. We'll play nice with the sneaky magelings. Ya have our stone-oath."

You nod.

"Good. The Umbran forces make use of both brute strength and magic, if we are to stand against them, we will need both sides of the coin as well. On their own, your engineering and the magic crafted by mages can accomplish amazing things. Think of what we can accomplish with both working side by side with each other."

Sir Kahl nods, then turns to you.

"Is there anything else you require of us, my Lord? Or shall we begin making preparations?

rolled 72 = 72

>>15939098
You shall get that leg treated.
It hurts just to look at you!

rolled 85 = 85

>>15939098
If you would, please get Ogden to help you with your leg. I do not wish to force it but I do worry.

>>15939116

Get his leg treated, and start getting our forces prepared for invasion.

Also get the spies sent out into Umbra so we know what forces Umbra have in the area we plan to annex.

rolled 90 = 90

>>15939158

And rollan'

rolled 97 = 97

>>15939098

Personally, I'd wait for reports from our spies before the invasion.

I'd also get Kahl's leg fixed.

>>15939116
>>15939141
"Actually, one more thing, Sir Kahl. Before you do any of this, make sure to vist Sir Ogden. I expect you to be in top form for this engagement."

He smiles, and salutes you.

"Of course, my Liege."

He and Urvash both leave the room.


>You have solved many outstanding issues. A few others that remain include:
>1: Meeting with Spymaster Soren to insure that the letter from Lady Casmaron was genuine.
>1a: (Assuming they are Genuine) You could attempt to rescue the messengers captured in Golarion
>1b: (If they are False) You could try to figure out what happened to the messengers in Umbra, and/or send new messengers to Golarion.
>2: You could wait a few days for the message from Cadia.
>3: Investigate the progress the Dwarves have made on silver weaponry for use against Shapeshifters.
>
>And possibly other things I forgot.

rolled 60 = 60

>>15939180
First, meet with the spymaster.

rolled 93 = 93

>>15939180

>You have solved many outstanding issues. A few others that remain include:
>1: Meeting with Spymaster Soren to insure that the letter from Lady Casmaron was genuine.
>a: (Assuming they are Genuine) You could attempt to rescue the messengers captured in Golarion
>b: (If they are False) You could try to figure out what happened to the messengers in Umbra, and/or send new messengers to Golarion.
>2: You could wait a few days for the message from Cadia.
>3: Investigate the progress the Dwarves have made on silver weaponry for use against Shapeshifters.

All of those - it's gonna take us a few days to plan our invasion out properly, as well as get our forces and supplies together, anyway, so waiting for a few days to see if we hear back from Cadia, as well as checking the validity of the letter from Missus Cuntfeatures, isn't a problem.

Silver weapons for against Werewolves would be awesome though!

rolled 81 = 81

>>15939208
Second. Scruffy.jpg

rolled 13 = 13

After we check with the spymaster we should check on the silver.

rolled 5 = 5

>>15939230

This, but spymaster first - it also gives us a chance to ask him to send more spies to the areas of Umbra we're going to be invading.

>>15939208
>>15939230
>>15939233
Several days have passed; the work on the new mobile defenses is going smoothly, and you have reports that the druids have begun calling up crops from the ground months before they would normally be ready, and at sizes almost to great to believe.

You have called in your Spymaster, Soren, requesting that he verify the veracity of the vicious note sent by Lady Casmaron.

"I can say with utmost certainty that these are genuine, my Lord; I apologize for not making this clearer in our previous meeting - I received this note from one of my little birds."

You recognize the phrase to mean one of his spies, and he continues:

"I had a small flock attend to each of the messenger groups. They were ordered to stay in the shadows, and only to try to eliminate potential obstacles that they could see coming. Unfortunately, even a flock of my birdies cannot contend with a platoon of well-trained elven swordmages."

rolled 86 = 86

>>15939292

Well balls - but at least with out invasion we might be able to have Blackmoor as a proper ally.

Have him send more spies into Umbra so we know what troops we should expect in our invasion.

rolled 79 = 79

>>15939324
And if our efforts fail due to some leaked info, we kill that spymaster. I don't trust him.

Anyway, what did the dwarves accomplish regarding the weapons?

rolled 78 = 78

>>15939292
Prepare the troops. We shall start the march at dawn. Umbra shall fear our might!

Ok maybe not at down, but rush the preparations

rolled 44 = 44

>>15939292
>>15939292

Any progress on freeing our messengers?

>>15939292
What of the attempts to provoke the /b/arbarians? Have we distributed the offensive posters yet? I don't think it would be a good idea to attack until we know how that particular front is going, lest we end up having our army blunder into our own trap.

rolled 13 = 13

>>15939448

Aye, we want the /b/ assault to have begun before we attack - it's likely Umbra would move troops from our border to deal with that assault, allowing us to attack a more weakly defended border. By the time Umbra know what's going on, we'll already have taken the land we set out to, and /b/ will be rampaging north of that.

>captcha - Tenthd monitoring - apparently we have a spy called Tenthd monitoring that situation.

>>15939324
>>15939379
>>15939529
You sigh.

"I see. I need you to send more of your... birdies... into Umbra; if our attack is to succeed, we will need accurate information."

Soren nods, "Of course, my Lord. It shall be done. I will send Tenthid; he is one of the most skilled of my birds. He will surely uncover something."

-------

Later that day, you sit in your throne room, and a group of dwarven smiths stand before you.

On a table in front of them is laid several weapons, from swords to axes to crossbow bolts. They all appear to be normal, steel weapons - but for a strange glint on their edges and tips.

"The steel has been alloyed with the silver, yer Lordship, without sacrificing strength. Watch!"

A new dwarf comes through the door, wheeling in a wooden dummy wearing steel armor. The dwarf demonstrating the weapons picks up one of the axes, and hurls it at the dummy's skull.

It flies true, and cleaves into the dummy, shredding through the helm it wears.

The dwarves look at you expectantly.

rolled 71 = 71

>>15939587

Congratulate the Dwarfs on their ingenuity - these weapons will surely help us against the Umbrans.

Ask him how many swords of this alloy he has, and if he has enough, supply Sir Kahl, us, and the Paladins with them.

>>15939598

It's up to the OP to do stuff like that, you can't just unilaterally decide that /co/mrades will show up.

Bad manners, man.

>>15939619
Alright sorry then. I'll delete it. My idea was we travelled to a land with sea access near to Dessex and hoofed it from there.

>>15939613
You clap your hands in appreciation.

"Wonderful! I am glad to see the stories of Stonelord skill and ingenuity remain as true as ever!"

"Now then... How many weapons do you possess? Would you be able to supply the Paladins and Sir Kahl and his men?"

The dwarves nod.

"Good. And..." You pause for a moment, "I would like a sword for myself, as well."

The dwarves grin widely.

"Aye, my Lord, but none of these! These are garbage, not fit for someone who has aided our people as greatly as you have! We will forge you a sword of legends!"

>>15939640

You mean across /b/, where you would have died?

Or /k/, where you'd have probably been shot?

Or /vp/, where they would have made you put on a furry suit and sodomised you?

Or even landing in Blackmoor in /tg/, and then had to have walked through Umbra, which we're at war with, to get to us?

Have you even read any of the quest so far?

>>15939667

These dwarfs are bros! Bro-fist them, as a sign of our alliance.

We shall also grant them access to all our trade routes with Blackmoor, once we've made them after our invasion - it'll make the dwarfs wealthier, and also mean they can get greater supplies of ale and metals, for more weapons.

>captcha - peepstg United - Yes Captcha, the peeps are united!

>>15939667
Thank them and if they have nothing else to discuss, dismiss them. Ask if they have anything in the way of armor.

Also after the universal hatred for deus ex machina /co/mrades, perhaps people will stop requesting them/

rolled 49 = 49

>>15939701

And rollan', cos I forgot to.

You made sure to archive this, OP? Just cos I don't know how many posts we need for this to auto-delete.

rolled 47 = 47

>>15939710
Forgot to roll.

Thank the dwarves sincerely. Now all we can do is wait. Wait for information from the spies and wait for our forces to be prepared. I think moral might be a bit low on in the nation. I think its time the lord made a speech to rally the people and possibly get them to help with the war effort.

rolled 64 = 64

>>15939667
Assemble the army and wait for news from Umbra border with /b/. If Umbra is already under attack, or even just moved their army northward, we execute the plan. I vote we call it "Blitzslap".

If not, we wait for soren to give the greenlight and blitzslap them!

rolled 72 = 72

>>15939741
Fucked up the roll.

rolled 76 = 76

>>15939746
>>15939741
>>15939701

All of them!

rolled 58 = 58

>>15939667
giddily clap your hands and make an annoying squealing sound, hugging ALL of the dorfs.

>ARCHIVED:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15936890/

>>15939701
>>15939710
>>15939741
>>15939746
You thank the dwarves for their generosity, and promise them full use of the trade routes your upcoming conquest should open up. You make sure to have one of your scribes put it in writing, and they go on their way.

You sigh with contentment, and ponder the upcoming battle.

It is good to be Lord.

>All right, I think we're about to auto-sage; I will begin preparations for the next thread. Depending on what I get done, it'll start later tonight, or tomorrow at about the same time as this one. Thanks for all the support, bros!

rolled 10 = 10

>>15939845

This quest has been a lot of fun thus far, I'm happy to see it continue.

>>15939853
ditto

>>15939853

Same here, nice one OP!

I'm probably off for the night now too, so hope it's tomorrow it continues! :P

Still, I think we know that the druids and the Dwarfs are our true bros, right?

Agreed. This is probably my favorite thread on 4chan. Can't wait to see what happens next.

Op I have this thread bookmarked. When the new on is created could you please post a link this one? Finding threads on 4chan can be difficult at times.

>>15940611
Probably depends on whether this thread is still up by then.