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    51 KB Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:34 No.16065987  
    Original: http://s14.invisionfree.com/The_D_Pad/ar/t905.htm

    Oldie but goodie:

    Here are some of the creepy fucks I've gamed with:

    A little back story: After I got out of the military, I went to college and discovered a thriving gaming community. I also got hired for part time work at a nearby comic book shop by a wonderful elderly couple.

    Unfortunately, the wonderful elderly couple had a not-so-wonderfull fuckstick of a kid who returned from California about 3 months after I started working there, took over the comic shop, and began playing in our game with his "friends", a worst pack of slobs and losers I've never met.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:35 No.16065994
    Go on, OP.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:36 No.16066000
    Fat Nasty
    This guy was just plain gross. He rarely bather, bragged about what a badass he was in High School, hit on 13-16 year old girls, once failed spectacularly with a girl I knew who like ALL men, and most women at her brithday party (which he hadn't been invited too), got mad when everyone told him they wanted me to continue running the Rifts game rather than back to his adventure (Nicknamed: Perverted Journeys through Rifts Earth) and threw a humungous fit. He lived with his parents, owned the comic book shop where I worked (turns out his parents actually owned it, he was just managing it) and tried to burn down a friends house when his own parents fired him and put my friend in charge of the place.

    Just a few of Fat Nasty's follies:

    He had a bad habit of going into loving detail over the rape and degredation of PC's who got charmed by any monster. (Apparently all the monsters of Rifts Earth came to Earth in order to explore human orfices with thier mating organs) When we all banded together and told him if he kept it up, we'd all quit, or just beat his ass for being a pervert, he claimed we were "repressing his sexuality."

    He got banned from the local strip club for hanging around out back and bothering the girls. The STRIP CLUB got a restraining order against him.

    Would give massive amounts of XP and ultrapowerful items to all the girls, while the guys got only double digit XP and nothing else for 2-3 weekends of gaming. We'd write down what the girls got anyway.

    Tried to "accidently" touch the females in the group. I warned him not to touch my wife, and he made the mistake when she was pregnant of squeezing one of her boobs right before he made a comment. Just because a woman's pregnant doesn't change the fact she's on the Army Female Powerlifting team. Dumbass. ANother girl pulled a switchblade out of her bra and threatened to cut his throat when he goosed her one summer night. He eventually stopped.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:37 No.16066014
    Bragged about how he was a 4th degree black belt in 5 different martial arts, and how after HS, he trained to become a ninja. He got beatup by a 17 year old punk rocker girl who gamed with us after she met us in college. As in knocked out. Before you start feeling sorry for him, he thought he was being cool by pinning against the wall with his huge bulk after she'd come in late because she'd broke up with her boyfriend, make a lewd comment, and reached around to squeeze her ass. Before any of us could get there (and we were heading there) she'd grabbed his sack, made him drop to his knees, and drove a straight right hand, covered in skull and bat rings, right into his face. About 3 times. She was a tough bitch!

    Once bragged about taking kittens and sticking them onto arrows and firing them over the back fence of the gaming shop and onto the elementary school playground. (I told his parents, his parents had him committed for 2 months, and put me and Johnny in charge of the gaming store)
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:38 No.16066021
    The absolute final straw, however, came after he got out of the hospital. They'd decided there wasn't anything really wrong with him (He was just a bully and a dick) and we had finished a kick ass game of D&D and had started Rifts again. His parents had let him go back to working in the comic's store, and had found out we gamed on Fridays and Saturdays in the shop, keeping it open till midnight. (We sold a LOT of gaming books that late, actually, along with shitloads of mini's and T-shirts) He bugged us until we said he could join, and he shows up.

    Right away, alarm bells started ringing in my head. He's wearing a T-shirt with a Punisher logo on it that's covered in stains and has crusty patches on it. The Punisher on the back looks like he has leperosy and wants to run away screaming. He's also carrying around a boken (that's the right spelling, right? For the wooden practice swords?) and looks at Punker Girl and my wife and says: "I'm not taking any shit from you bitches any more." Punker Girl laughs and goes back to asking me if she can install various modifications to her UAR-1 Enforcer. My wife tells him to eat shit and goes back to changing the diaper on our newborn.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:40 No.16066037
    He sits down, huffing and puffing like he's at a tryout for the big bad wolf, and starts bringing out Rifts book. I glance over, and tell him that player's are only allowed the Rifts Core Book, and can only take human's, and he has to take a 1rst level PC and ALL ROLLS MUST BE WITNESSED BY MYSELF OR THE ASSISTANT GM!

    He absolutely freaks out. Tells us we're violating his rights regarding the pursuit of happiness. I just laugh, tell him to shut up and roll up a damn character. He rolls up (big surprise) a glitter boy, then wants to make the guy a full conversion cyborg on top of it. Uhhh... No.

    The game begins. He's mumbling to himself about how it was better when The Incredible Filthy Perverted Chick, Dr. Disgusting, Mr. Macho, Madame Nose Miner, & The Prince of Fat were allowed to play in the group. (More on them in a minute)

    The door to the shop opens, and my adopted brother comes in. He comes up, gives me and the wife a hug, slaps palms with Punker Chick, and sits down. Fat Nasty looks at him and goes pale.

    "What's that n---r doing in my store." Absolute silence.

    "It's not YOUR store, it's your parents, and they've hired me and Johnny to manage the place. You're a fucking stock boy, asshole." I remind him.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:40 No.16066041
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    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:40 No.16066043
    "Get that fucking n---r out of my store." By this time, I'm up and pissed. REALLY pissed. My brother tells me it isn't worth it, he won't game with a bigot, and politely leaves.

    I get my shit together, and so does most of the group, and we go to leave.

    Fat Nasty blocks the way, holding out the boken. He starts ranting and raving about how we were going to game with him, and not someone like my brother. (Whose a really cool guy, actually. For an older brother, he's fucking great)

    So I broke a chair over his face and we all left. Please. A wooden sword? He hit me like twice with it across the forearms when I blocked it. He sucked with with it, I grabbed a chair and smashed him with it, and kicked him in the side of the head with my boots, and we left.

    I call his parents from the payphone in the bar across the street, order a beer, and stay to watch the show. They go to get him. He threatens to: (In order) Kill himself, burn down the shop, kill his parents for the insurance money, piss on everyone's graves, kill "that n---r", and make everyone pay for humiliating him. Parents call cops. He threatens to kill cops. Cops arrest him. He resists arrest. Cops beat him down. He goes to jail. He's found able to stand trial, just a failed bully and a retarded racist prick. He's currently serving something like 15 years for hitting the cops with that boken and kicking a police dog. (Did you know that's assault on a police officer? Too goddamn funny!)

    Johnny and I kept working there.

    And his parents gave us raises.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:41 No.16066053
    Mr. Macho
    This assclown. Six feet tall and more lard than a can of Crisco. He was racist, homophobic, stupid, and a pedophile. He was gaming in Fat Nasty's group and hung out at the comic's store before Fat Nasty came back from California. I threw him out several times, then one day threatened to beat him to death with a Mad Magazine if he ever came back because I suspected he was trying to sneak into the girl's bathroom when the rest of the staff and I weren't watching.

    When Fat Nasty came back, it turns out they were high school butt buddies or something. Always bragging about "the geeks they'd beaten up" and crap like that. I run into him several times as he's going to and from the game (Fat Nasty's group and mine gamed in seperate rooms. They preferred the stock room, we preferred out front where we could wait on customers) and he was a goddamn pig. Finally, Fat Nasty wants to take a GM break (actually, he wanted his players to ridicule and try to ruin my game, and I knew it) and told his players that they were welcome in my group. (They weren't, but I figured I could handle them)
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:42 No.16066061
    The first game he shows up to, he's got this scrawny, pale, limp haired girl with him. He claims she's 18, but I still thought it was a load of shit. Every time he gets mad, or doesn't get perfect rolls, or I call him out for doing a "roll and snatch", he smacks the table or acts like he's going to throw something at me. I wasn't sure, but I thought I caught him pinching the back of her arm a few times.

    During the whole game, his "girlfriend" sat there, picking her nose and eating it. Not trying to hide it, but BLATANTLY doing it. She didn't respond to any of us asking her not too, and I was starting to seriously wonder if she was fucking tramautized or something.

    Me and Hawk (Yes, that was his real name) are trying to decide whether or not hitting an explosion caused geyser of water in a hydrafoil doing 150 MPH would cause MDC or not, when Mr. Macho walks by behind me and smacks both of us across the back of the head, calls us both "fucking geeks" and is grinning when we turn around, standing there, playing with a damn pocket knife with one of his Kool's in his mouth.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:43 No.16066065
    When it's all over, and Mr. Macho is on the curb outside crying for an ambulance, the pocket knife's out in the street somewhere, I've got a shiney new Zippo Lighter that fell out of his pocket about the fourth time I kicked him, Hawk's lighting one of the Kool cigarettes we found. We come in and are crossing the room to go into the bathroom and wash our hands when Ms. Nose Miner suddenly blinks and asks where he is. These are the FIRST FUCKING WORDS she's said in 4 hours. My wife tells her that we just got back inside from kicking his ass, and that he's outside.

    She bursts into tears and starts relating that now he's going to burn her with cigarettes again. My wife gently asks her if he's done it before, she nods. My wife (an ex-91A, Combat Medic) runs all of us boys out of the room and all the girls but Punk Rocker Chick. Punk Rocker Chick comes out a few minutes laterand tells us to keep Mr. Macho from going anyway, and says that she's calling the cops. Curious, we ask what's up, and PRC tells us: "The bastard's been burning her with cigarettes, she's bruised all over the place, I'm calling the cops and the hospital."

    "Is she really 18?" That's what Hawk and I want to know.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:43 No.16066066
    Goddamn, it's stories like this that make me glad my gaming group consists entirely of close friends.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:43 No.16066072
    We're told her that it doesn't even look like she's 16, those boobs are a stuffed training bra, and what does it matter anyway, she's got scabbed over bite marks all over her little girl boobs and back, and she's got scars everywhere.

    Hawk and I go back outside, chase him for 2 blocks, and drag him back by his hair, stopping every once in awhile to remind him that the two of us were in charge. We were going to curb stomp him, but Hawk reminded me right before I was going to kick that the cops probably are going to want dental prints.

    Cops are called. They haul both Ms Nose Miner and Mr. Macho in seperate ambulances, take the statements, and arrest Hawk and I (We figured as much, we were kicking his ass for trying to run when the cops pulled up) but don't handcuff us and stop for coffee on the way to booking.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:44 No.16066083
    We're booked on Felony Assault III, and put in a big cell full of drunks and losers, and two big ass bikers. We're playing spades with the Bikers and swapping scar/tattoo lies when they bring in Mr. Macho, who starts screaming that Hawk and I would beat him and kill him (true) if he was left there.

    So Hawk and I sit in jail till, amazingly, we're let loose. Turns out Ms. Nose Miner is a "runaway" and is in with the cops singing like a canary.

    We never saw Mr. Macho again after the trial. Kidnapping, assault and battery, sexual assault, statuary rape, illegal confinement, and a bunch of other charges.

    Turns out Ms Nose Miner was 14, and had been with Mr. Macho for 2 years.

    Hawk and I plead out on Felony Assault III in return for our testimony and agreeing to take Anger Management classes at the college and pay a $1500 fine to the crime victims fund. Hey, no problem. Ms. Nose Miner's father paid for our lawyers and the fine.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:45 No.16066089
    Dr. Disgusting
    This clown. Ewww... Makes my flesh crawl just remembering. Outwardly, he looked fine. In shape, well groomed, clean, drove a nice car. He played in Fat Nasty's group, and his eyes got all glittery and he began to lick his lips and smack them like he was eating something good whenever combat started. He also wanted intense descriptions of what the dead NPC's looked like after a combat. He stripped them, not to search them, but to ask what the dead bodies looked like. He always played Cyberdocs, Cleric/Necromancers, and the like, and kept collecting "the best parts" of female corpses. I never asked him what the 'best parts" were, since I had a feeling I knew the answer.

    The final straw for me came when he passed me a note saying: "When nobody else is looking, I'm going to cut off the dead female CS soldier's head, pussy, and tits, and take them so I can fuck them and cum on them at night. Can I use magic to keep them fresh?"
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:45 No.16066098
    I looked at him and said: "No. Hell no. Get your shit, get out. Don't EVER come back to my group."

    He kept gaming with Fat Nasty. I started watching America's Most Wanted. He found out what I used to do before college and how I spent my summer break, and cornered me, wanting to know all about dead bodies. Normal morbid curiosity I can understand, but he was rubbing his crotch and the look on his face made something in the back of my head scream and run off gibbering.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:46 No.16066111
    The Incredible Filthy Perverted Chick
    OK, there's no big deal about being fat. There's nothing wrong with a bit of a complexion problem. There's nothing wrong with being a fat female who wears skimpy clothing. It's better than having a fat sweaty woman whose uncomfortable and irritable because she's hot and sweaty.

    But TIFPC was a whole different story. See, PRC (Punk Rocker Chick) could pull off the torn fishnets, sleeveless Cure T-shit, Anarchist's symbol painted on her cheek, leather mini-skirt with "Smash the State" written on it, black high heels. PRC was in Hawk's Weightlifting class in college and took aerobics. She wanted to be an FBI agent and figured she'd be in suits soon enough, so she might as well get the wildness out of her system before pinning on the badge or heading to the Acedemy.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:47 No.16066118
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    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:47 No.16066122
    Is this shit really worth reading? There's so many boring stories about "That Guy" in /tg/ that it's hard to skim through to find any funny bits! Opinions, please!
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:47 No.16066123
    TIFPC dressed the same way but tried to wear the same sizes at PRC. Where PRC was only 5' 2" at the most, and weighed a heavy muscular 145 (you couldn't mistake that stomach or those thighs for fat) TIFPC was about 5' 6" and weighed in at... oh... Overflowing the girdle like she was melting. She once wore a leather lace up top like Xena, only Xena didn't have blobs of fat pushing out from the leather laceups. Ewww...

    BUT, I can handle that. I mean, seriously, I don't have to see her naked, so why should I care? She wore enough perfume to choke out Brock Samson, and whenever she was around for longer than 2 minutes I lit a cigarette. Plus she gamed with Fat Nasty's group. So cared about fat? But still, this girl was fat and disgusting. Why?
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:48 No.16066130
    Because her back and arms and breasts and face were covered with huge zits that looked like cysts. She would often squeeze them into her palm and lick her palm clean. I mean, seriously, it looked like she was squeezing a white chocolate Hershey's kiss into her hand and licking it off. brrrrrr... She had brown crusted dreadlocks, greyish looking skin, hairy armpits and legs and shoulders, and she didn't wash a pair of black levi's she bled through one time for a week. I kid you not, there was this dried crusty blood stain on the ass, crotch and inner thighs of the pants. One of the girls mentioned it, and she replied that pads and tampons were just devices invented by men to destroy women's natural majik (you could hear the damn spelling) and she wouldn't fall for it.

    She wouldn't even try to hide what she was doing with her zits. I happened to look up one day from behind my GM's screen, look straight down the table, into the stock room where Fat Nasty's game was going on, and SEE her with a naked boob in her hand licking the pus off of one of the sores while Fat Nasty's group all stared in lust.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:48 No.16066134
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    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:48 No.16066141
    Then, she decided that not only was she a witch and the reencarnation of some long dead probably never alive anyway mythical druidaic priestess who once ruled over the entire Ireland druid religion until a Roman assassin killed her because she refused to marry Julius Ceaser, she decided she was a nympho.

    She went after Fat Nasty's group first, thank all the Gods ever imangined, that ever existed, ever will exists, and maybe even some that don't. She asked me if I wanted a blowjob, I asked her if she wanted tasered in the crotch. She thought about it and said "Maybe." and I ducked away and hid behind my wife until she went back into the stock room.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:49 No.16066149
    I told her not to come around my gaming group anymore when I felt something moving around under the table one night during a Ravenloft game, and thinking it was our blind player's seeing eye dog, I ignored it. (If you ever get a chance, play with someone whose blind, they're phenominal RPGers!) Then I felt hands on my crotch. I look over, my wife's breastfeeding our daughter while PRC glares at all the guys and holds the blanket up like a shield (which was unneccessary, it's not like you can see the boob with the baby attached to it like some kind of big pink breast leech)

    Whiskey Foxtrot Tango? I jump up, and look under the table, and there's TIFPC looking at me with this green teethed smile. I freaked. Yelled at her to get the hell out of from under the table and get the hell out of there. She replied that Fat Nasty's group liked her to do that, and I was almost sick on the floor.

    Ew ew fucking EW!
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:50 No.16066157
    She went back to Fat Nasty's gaming group and we took a 10 minute break so I could go across the street and have a couple shots of 151. I get back to find her and Punk Rock Chick in a screaming match. Apparently, while I was gone, TIFPC tried under the table again, saying: "Since the prude is gone" and tried to jam her face into Punk Rock Chick's crotch. Her excuse was: "True punkers are bisexual." PRC's reply had been: "But not into besitality!" and it went downhill from there. TIFPC threatened to cast hexes on everyone, we laughed at her, she stomped off back to Fat Nasty's game. She came back about 20 minutes later and threw pink chalk at us and ran back into the room where Fat Nasty was. I went and prepared something, and sure as shit, TIFPC comes back in and flings more dust at us and waves around her hands. I yell out: "SO LONG, BITCH!" and throw a mop bucket of warm soapy water on her.

    She FREAKS out, starts running around the room screaming that it burns. The brown crust in her dreadlocks starts dripping onto the tile, we discover she's not greyskinned but pale fishbelly white, and I start laughing too hard to breathe.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:50 No.16066165
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    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:50 No.16066167
    Fat Nasty calls the cops. They show up, TIFPC is writhing in the middle of this puddle of disgusting stuff on the previously clean and waxed tile floor. As soon as she sees the cops, she starts speaking in tongues and acting like she has a siezure. The cops look at her, look at me, I shrug, Fat Nasty runs over to tell the police that I threw acid or something on her. The cops notice TIFPC squinting through one eye to see if they are looking and going into even a bigger frenzy when she sees that they are.

    She also shits herself. In a crusty mini-skirt, she has shit squeezing out of her fishnet stockings and now the whole shop smells awful.

    When the cops hear the whole story and we show him the security camera tape, they start busting up laughing. TIFPC jumps up and stomps off in a huff, claiming I'd tried to kill her. She wasn't interested in pressing charges when she found out that faking a siezure, defecating in a public place, filing a false report, and pressing unwarranted charges could get her some jail time.

    After that I kept a spray bottle of soapy water next to me and sprayed it at her every time she came near. I wouldn't let her game with us, and frankly, she made me sick with her home-made white chocolate Hershey's kisses.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:51 No.16066173
    The Prince of Fat
    OK, like I stated before, fat doesn't bother me. Some people can't help it, some people don't really care, and I've always figured, it's their body, they can do what they want.

    But the Prince of Fat was different. See, he was HUGE, he actually broke a tubular aluminum chair, wore a mumu, stunk like old moldy shit, and played Rifts.

    Always playing virginal female alien Ley Line Shifters. That were lesbians. And took Ninjitsu out of the Ninja's & Superspies handbook for thier martial art. That always chummed around with some smarmy intelligent animal companion who was wiser than most of the other PC's.

    That wasn't the worst part, though. The biggest part was that he was creepy. If he wasn't fat, he'd still be creepy.

    See, his mumu was black, had bats and skull on it, he wore a cape, eyeliner, and talked in thee's and thou's and wanted everyone to refer to him as "The Prince", he carried around a V:tM book and stated that it held "certian trooths thy mind cannot comprehend."
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:51 No.16066178
    I'm just thanking the stars that I haven't had the experience of playing with douches like this rogue's gallery.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:51 No.16066181
    He played female only characters, and demanded that his power increased when his character was menstrauting, etc. He always had to recite the words to the spells his mage cast, and would draw damn near photorealistic pictures of his characters. Naked. Doing "things". He left his artwork folder on the table one day when he left to go get something to eat, and flipping through it, I found pictures of his character doing such things as ripping off human mens genitals and then in the next frame "utilizing" them. Also pictures of her having sex with every monster, in order, from the Rifts monster books. IN graphic detail.

    He seriously creeped me the fuck out.

    He eventually bought a VW van, painted it black and moved to LA to persue a career in "The Dark Arts of the Theater Majestic."

    I gave him $20 for gas.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:53 No.16066195
    Sir Mooch-a-Lot
    This guy always had a young teenage boy hanging around, even though he was in his 30's. He also bummed money, cigarettes, chips, stole the cigarette butts and dice and pencils left unguarded.

    He once accidently drank my spit can.

    When he told his little boyfriend that the boy could sit on his lap while they gamed, I chucked him out and called the cops.

    Oh the horror.

    OP here: That's it. The original sauce was in the rpg.net forums. I'm so glad some one managed to save this masterpiece.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:54 No.16066201
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    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:54 No.16066208
    hey quick question OP, fat nasty wouldnt happen to be Anthony Barbetta. If not I fear that there are more people like this in the world
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)21:57 No.16066244
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    >> malkavian Hipster 08/25/11(Thu)21:58 No.16066258
    rolled 3 = 3

    >My wife tells him to eat shit and goes back to changing the diaper on our newborn.


    >So I broke a chair over his face and we all left. Please. A wooden sword?
    Don't diss the boken: it's like a solid aerodynamic club of ass kickery +3. It's a respectable weapon. None of that weaboo crap here though, Spiked mace all dar evrday.

    >Dr. Disgusting
    >This clown. Ewww... Makes my flesh crawl just remembering. Outwardly, he looked fine. In shape, well groomed, clean, drove a nice car. He played in Fat Nasty's group, and his eyes got all glittery and he began to lick his lips and smack them like he was eating something good whenever combat started. He also wanted intense descriptions of what the dead NPC's looked like after a combat. He stripped them, not to search them, but to ask what the dead bodies looked like. He always played Cyberdocs, Cleric/Necromancers, and the like, and kept collecting "the best parts" of female corpses. I never asked him what the 'best parts" were, since I had a feeling I knew the answer.

    Was his name Byron Hall?
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:01 No.16066284
    rolled 62 = 62

    OP: between doc disgusting and perverted chick, you made me throw up a little.

    Good job. Now I need mouthwash again.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:03 No.16066292
    Jesus christ this thread makes my skin crawl. I'm going to go take a bath AGAIN. How can such people exist? Ugh.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:04 No.16066309
    tl;dr: OP makes up elaborate, almost certainly fake scenarios wherein he and his circle of friends are badasses who assault a series of impluasible pervert psychopaths and get away with it. /tg/ eats it up.

    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:04 No.16066313
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    How can humanity harbor such... creatures? Why do they pervade our hobby? There is no god.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:05 No.16066318
    after reading this.....I actually feel like vomiting a little....though props for finding a decent gaming group with your wife, Hawk, and punk rocker girl. just the thought of you atleast having a good group in your story made these stories a bit more bearable
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:05 No.16066320
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    This is copypasta, bro.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:06 No.16066338
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    >this thread
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:07 No.16066350
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    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:07 No.16066351

    Ah, my bad. Correction: OP quotes some other guy who made up elaborate, almost certainly fake scenarios wherein he and his circle of friends are badasses who assault a series of impluasible pervert psychopaths and get away with it. /tg/ eats it up, just like they probably did whenever it was posted the first time.

    </thread again>
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:07 No.16066353
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:09 No.16066371
    I really hope you're right. Really do.
    >> malkavian Hipster 08/25/11(Thu)22:10 No.16066382
    rolled 5 = 5

    >Because her back and arms and breasts and face were covered with huge zits that looked like cysts. She would often squeeze them into her palm and lick her palm clean. I mean, seriously, it looked like she was squeezing a white chocolate Hershey's kiss into her hand and licking it off. brrrrrr... She had brown crusted dreadlocks, greyish looking skin, hairy armpits and legs and shoulders, and she didn't wash a pair of black levi's she bled through one time for a week. I kid you not, there was this dried crusty blood stain on the ass, crotch and inner thighs of the pants. One of the girls mentioned it, and she replied that pads and tampons were just devices invented by men to destroy women's natural majik (you could hear the damn spelling) and she wouldn't fall for it.

    Part of me wants to believe noone of these people exist and that it's just an strawman. Please let it be so.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:10 No.16066383
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    >My life is boring, so I'll say that stories on the internet are fake.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:13 No.16066423
    @Malkavian Hipster

    That you John?
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:14 No.16066440
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    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:15 No.16066449
    There is no way in hell that person can exist and be allowed in public.
    >> malkavian Hipster 08/25/11(Thu)22:16 No.16066478
    rolled 84, 74, 50 = 208

    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:20 No.16066541

    >I also make up stories like this one. I'm discrediting you so you can't discredit me.

    Look at this story. How likely is it that there's an entire collection of horrible abominations like this all hanging out in this group and they aren't all on a watchlist? Not to mention all the little details he throws in, like people shitting themselves and trying to convince the cops they've been splashed with acid. Why would this perfectly normal group of total badass ex-military types and future FBI agent punk rockers (who, if they were PCs in a game, would probably be imemdiately shot down as Mary Sues) continue to hang out with the pus-spewing magick whale after she showed up in unwashed, menstruation-filled pants?

    This does not. make. sense.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:21 No.16066551

    >my life is boring, so I shamelessly devour fiction to fill the void
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:23 No.16066567
    >"Get that fucking n---r out of my store." By this time, I'm up and pissed. REALLY pissed. My brother tells me it isn't worth it, he won't game with a bigot, and politely leaves.
    1/10 op almost had me till this unbelievable part. I've never seen a black guy go less than full chimp-out when the N bomb is dropped.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:23 No.16066569

    Because they worked at the store these guys gamed at, and one of them was the manager and the store owner's kid?
    >> malkavian Hipster 08/25/11(Thu)22:23 No.16066572
    I'm with you, but I fear this is just wishful thinking speaking.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:25 No.16066592
    you'd be surprised the amount of shit people will tolerate for the sake of not having to pack up and move out
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:29 No.16066649
    So you think that people like that easily integrate into normal society, and don't collect around people like them because that's the only community that can stand them? Fair enough. And the group doesn't continue to hang with them, they continue to intrude on their games. Fiction or not, let's not act like this sort of thing could never happen.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:30 No.16066663
    >>implying all black people are the same
    they're 'black' aint they?
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:30 No.16066668
    I dunno.

    It's pretty over the top, I'll admit, but I've seen some shit.

    I've seen some real shit.

    But it wasn't a tabletop gaming group so it's pretty irrelevant. TL;DR horrible slobs and perverts do exist and in real life tend to gravitate toward one another. It's a good thing they rarely venture far from their homes.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:32 No.16066691

    Working at the store never stopped them from throwing them out when they felt the need. Throwing their KID out for disgusting behaviour got them a raise in this fictitious little diversion Original!OP has spun. I'm sure if they mentioned that the landwhale had taken her tits out in the store or that this motley crew of degenerates was creeping out potential customers they could have had them all banned in an instant. I mean, all it would take was ONE of these incidents, and a couple anecdotes, and one swiped picture from teh vampire dude's porn stash to convicne anyone reasonable to kick the lot of them out... And, based on the story, that couple was reasonable.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:32 No.16066696
    No, no, no. No.
    You do not get off that easily.

    I invoke the ancient god of talespinners and bullshiteers:

    His name invoked, you are required to take on a temporary trip and detail your story, regardless of its level of believability or coherency.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:33 No.16066701
    this guy is lying, ive read stories about these exact people and hes been called out elsewhere
    >> Godwyn 08/25/11(Thu)22:33 No.16066711

    I've seen it. Going to junior college to get my required courses so I can move on to a REAL college...

    I've seen horrible things. Creatures that should have been aborted at birth. Things that only slightly resemble human beings in appearance and mannerisms, but are really nothing more than ab-human mockeries of you and I. These terrible beasts, if compared to anything, would be walking lumps of skin-covered sacks of lard. With skin diseases and serious mental disorders.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:34 No.16066717
    Why can't you people enjoy a good tale? Why must you insist on picking it apart because you're absolutely sure it is fake? Just enjoy it. Or be disgusted, in this case.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:34 No.16066726
    Troll smarter, not harder, dumbass.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:34 No.16066729
    Because this is /tg/: we crash-test everything. Including reality.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:37 No.16066756
    >You don't understand! They're subhumans who once beat up a cousin of mine! You have to believe me!
    Do go on.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:38 No.16066772
    >Picture of guy with gun and younger girl who is pregnant and wearing black
    >Story and all its characters and events are proven beyond a shadow of a doubt
    >I slink away, ashamed of this undeniable and humiliating defeat
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:38 No.16066775
    I am suddenly reminded of the black guy from england or something that was visiting his freind in the US and was weirded out over the black people here calling him the n-word and so on.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:45 No.16066848
    I'm much more amused by your ITG routine, to be frank. Have you considered having sex? I've had plenty, and one day, you'll find the right guy for you.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:45 No.16066858

    I hung around with some PC gamer types in high school. You know the drill, scrawny nerds, loads of baggage usually, the whole nine yards. Some of them were really cool (Two of them are my best bros, and one of them actually did join the Marines... but got discharged on medical after getting stress fractures in his feet repeatedly. The fuck?) but then you had Slobs: The Slobbening. It didn't help that for a while a bunch of them lived together.

    I don't have very many stories to tell because life with them, especially after high school, was just one long chronicle of failure. It's too monotonous to be interesting. One of the guys had a house, let the other slobs live with him and the rest of us hang out more or less at will, and it was as horrible as you could expect. If anyone here has cleaned apartments before you probably know what it's like. I probably gained immunity to diseases not yet known to man by visiting that place. Said slobs were filthy and mental and the ringleader of this bunch of tards was a rampant womanizer to boot. If a couple of my bros and I didn't have a history with him we'd have ditched him and the others a long time ago.

    The catch is that they almost never left their personal dump, and so the public was mostly safe.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:46 No.16066874
    everyone in that copypasta is detestable

    except for the calm black guy and the old couple
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:47 No.16066876
    There is true copypasta and fake copypasta.

    This is obviously fake.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:48 No.16066890
    You sound like you're in la la land. come back to reality.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:49 No.16066900
    That's probably the case, at least with all of these awful subhumans occurring in such a small space, but none of them are outright impossible. I'm fairly sure that Luke, Plagueson of Nurgle actually happened, and he's at least as gross as The Incredible Filthy Perverted Chick. But with puss being one of my total revulsion switches she might actually be worse, and that's something I really which I'd never be able to say.

    My life IS pretty boring. Being a librarian is a fulfilling calling, but you don't get as many crazy people stories as other lifepaths. Still, I want to believe.

    ...Even when I read a thread like this and believing starts to pose a serious threat to my mental health.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:53 No.16066942
    Is "reality" that place where hundreds of millions of dark-skinned, curly-haired people are two-dimensional characters with no capacity for restraint, like a horde of badly-roleplayed orc barbarians? Because, if so, I think I'm happier where I live now.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:55 No.16066967

    The fun times:

    - Water gets shut off because jackass keeps blowing everyone's rent on gadgets and fast food. For two weeks. Slobs continue using house toilet instead of walking to the nearby convenience store and using theirs, cease bathing entirely, and refuse to go home to use facilities elsewhere, possibly because their families have banished them.

    - Cleaning the kitchen reveals what may have been an abandoned colony of smurfs on the countertop, replete with mushrooms. I just wanted to cook some fucking ramen.

    - Owner of the house hits on anything that walks, and has for years. This leads to a dramatastrophe that would've given Jerry Springer a run for his money as it turns out he had somehow hooked up with three different girls. At once. And was of course telling all three that he was committed. I don't know what's worse, the fact that people willfully crawled into bed with someone as unhygienic and repulsive as him, or that he now has living offspring because of the affair.

    - Guy finally gets evicted. Friends and I agree to help him move. He doesn't do a damn thing and spends part of the moving day apparently porking his girlfriend/soon to be shotgun-wedding-wife. More relics of Smurf civilization uncovered.

    - Discovering working game discs beneath piles of trash left about in his room/the living room. It always surprised me what they could endure.

    - Bro accidentally stabs himself in the leg because one of the other slobs fell asleep on the couch holding a knife. Said slob agrees to help pay for stitches but never does.

    - Walk in on slob and his livestock girlfriend having sex in the living room. Akwaaard.

    - Agree to help these idiots clean house again. Put up fly traps in summertime; traps fill completely within 10 minutes.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:55 No.16066975
    Every time i go to the library in my city there's a half dozen weird homeless guys looking at porn on the computers.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:56 No.16066984
    I think I need a shower after reading that.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:56 No.16066990
    Where's that, your mom's basement?
    Get out a little, open your eyes, and stop projecting so much.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)22:57 No.16067006
    >> malkavian Hipster 08/25/11(Thu)22:58 No.16067027
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    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)23:00 No.16067058
    >Bunch of bad ass ex-military types
    >Punk rocker
    >All playing rifts before a group of disgusting slobs invade their space
    >Two of them conveniently get arrested and jailed in the end
    >No charges filed against badass military types
    >Ends with a "everyone lives happily ever after" ending

    Wow this is some serious wish fulfillment here.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)23:02 No.16067085
    While I'm laughing at your hilariously delusional views on black people.
    >> OP 08/25/11(Thu)23:06 No.16067139
    thanks for shitting up my thread
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)23:06 No.16067145
    What about the 3rd degree assault charge and the $1500 fine (that they convieniently didn't have to pay because the girl was 14 and her dad was happy to get her back)
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)23:07 No.16067153
    /tg/, at your service!
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)23:07 No.16067157

    Sorry for feeding the trolls. Your story, while obviously fake and clearly wish fulfilment, was infinitely mroe fun than jousting e-penises with racist dumbasses.
    >> malkavian Hipster 08/25/11(Thu)23:08 No.16067170
    >Implying ownership on the internets, everything is a repost of a repost, if it can be labeled it can be hated, etc.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)23:08 No.16067176

    >Not sure if anon is DELIBERATELY proving it was all too convenient, or if s/he's actually waiting on us to counter that
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)23:09 No.16067177
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    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)23:09 No.16067189
    If it wasn't stale ass copypasta I'd agree with you.
    >> OP 08/25/11(Thu)23:11 No.16067206

    i never implied everything is a repost of a repost
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)23:18 No.16067261
    >anarchist swag
    >wants to be an FBI agent
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)23:19 No.16067279

    Worse than that, she thinks the FBI will let someone like that in?
    >> Godwyn 08/25/11(Thu)23:21 No.16067294
    Well, now that we have that out of our system, let's get back to our tales of horrible groups and "That guy" tales.

    OP's story is a repost but I have no reason at all to doubt it's veracity. Well, parts of it at least. I have no reason to doubt that such terrible monsters exist as I have seen and have interacted with a few in my time. Usually I tend to avoid such pitiful creatures and spare myself the terrible experience of being around them but I seem to be a bit of a magnet for them.

    At my LFGS, there are a few who gravitate towards me. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I don't smell of sweat and BO. Maybe it's because I'm not a hairy, chinless tub of lard. Maybe it's because I'm not awkward or creepy. Maybe it's because I don't treat them with revulsion or disdain...I don't know. But most of them really like me over there. There are a couple who really wouldn't mind if I died in a car fire, but that's because I stomped a couple of them at 40k despite them cheating a bit. ANYHOW, while I do game with these people I really have a lot of pity for them. They all seem to have emotional baggage, and they try really hard to out-badass each other despite them all knowing that they are full of shit. I want to scream things at them "Stop wearing those Hawaiian shirts!" or "Please, work on your laugh a bit so it doesn't sound all nasally." Even "Hey guy, maybe you should take a shower before you stop by? Might help with your charisma score." But I don't point these things out because doing so will probably make me look like a dick, the type of person they come to the store to avoid. It might just make them angry with me....but still, I hate sitting by and silently enduring all this knowing full well that they can change themselves for the better....
    >> OP IS A FAGGOT 08/25/11(Thu)23:22 No.16067307
    Your thread was shit to start with. If you actually wasted your time typing these lies, you should get out more. If it's ctrl+v, I couldn't care less.
    >> OP 08/25/11(Thu)23:27 No.16067389
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    cared enough to post
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)23:31 No.16067449
    I think the worst of that was Ms Nose Miner. I can only hope that fucking faggot who had her gets the ever living shit beaten out of him in prison.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)23:34 No.16067494
    There's this guy I gamed with. Well, sorta.

    He always lost terribly due to impossibly bad luck. And I seriously mean it, the damn guy was cursed.

    If we played Magic, he'd always get manaflooded/screwed, regardless of how many times he mulliganed or mana weaved.

    If we played D&D, he'd never roll anything higher than a 3, and getting five 1s in a row was a common occurrance.

    But he continued appearing, because apparently he had a crush on a girl who also gamed there.

    He was also fat and ugly, and apparently never bathed. A living proof that God doesn't care for men and that life is unfair.

    Of course, everyone in the store made fun of him, because come on, a fatally unlucky fatass? How can you expect us to allow it to exist without permanent humiliation?

    The tub of lard finally left for good after I hooked up gamer girl with an old highschool friend, now a jock with a football scholarship at community college just to spite the fatass. With the fat fuck's luck, he probably got run over by a car or something. Good riddance, the guy was fat and disgusting anyways.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)23:35 No.16067506
    ECL 15 game, party is hired to investigate a haunted mansion.

    We go in, place is larger on the inside than the outside, we cant get out. Okay so we head to the first room. DM says theres a bunch of cryptic lettering, alphabets and a body is strung up between 2 pillars in the middle of the room.

    Everyone fails the knowledge rolls with pretty high DCs. Absolutely NOTHING happens for ages as everyone talks to each other, pokes around the room, but otherwise does NOTHING whatsoever. DM refused to give hints and just sits there watching us narrate our actions to each other.

    I am a ranger with good fort/ref saves. I try to get the plot moving by cutting down the body. DM says i triggered an epic trap with a save or die DC of something like 38. I fail. He cites the "occasionally some encounters will be tougher than normal" rule in the DMG. As far as i know the campaign didnt go anywhere because nobody dared to do anything, nobody could figure out anything and the DM refused to deviate from his carefully prepared plan and just sat there watching them do nothing.
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)23:39 No.16067558
    >I knew a guy who was fat and smelly

    >He had really abd luck, through no fault of his own

    >Because he was fat and smelly, I deliaberately upset him by finding his crush a boyfriend- not out of any actual goodwill towards either party, but to spite a smelly fat man

    >I hope he dies. He was smelly and fat. Also: unlucky.

    Did this "That Guy" actually have any other faults you aren't mentioning, or do you seriously think being overweight and smelly makes him more of a "That Guy" than 90% of posters here... Or worse, that bad luck is deserving of retribution?
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)23:44 No.16067592
    That was the most disappointing thing I've ever read. You are a complete stranger to me, and yet my first thought was still "I expected more out of you."
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)23:49 No.16067634
    Cool story, bro
    >> Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)23:49 No.16067638
    Oh hey there, fatty! Upset I told everyone your story?

    By the way, Samantha had a kid with the boyfriend I hooked her up with.

    hope you're not upset. good luck, buddy!
    >> Darth Itachi !!tNeHYqhngQr 08/25/11(Thu)23:56 No.16067691
    >implying that makes it real
    >> Anonymous 08/26/11(Fri)00:02 No.16067737

    I see you trollin'. I'm hatin' (your lack of effort, try harder).
    >> Anonymous 08/26/11(Fri)00:04 No.16067758
    You're just a dick. Cool Club membership denied.
    >> Anonymous 08/26/11(Fri)00:10 No.16067824
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    Get the fuck off /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 08/26/11(Fri)00:14 No.16067868
    >and apparently never bathed

    This is really the only thing he should be maligned for. Everything else is sort of out of his control and you're a dickhead for villainizing him.

    >> Anonymous 08/26/11(Fri)00:32 No.16068045
    well, I just hope that brat was sort of planed and not some idiot knocking up his girlfriend while still in college and with no way of providing for them.
    You know, live isn't fair to unfortunate pregnant
    >> Darth Itachi !!tNeHYqhngQr 08/26/11(Fri)00:34 No.16068061
    irrelevant copypasta is irrelevant
    >> Anonymous 08/26/11(Fri)00:45 No.16068150
    Very true. One of the guys in my current group must be like 200 pounds overweight. But, he never smells bad, and he does the most awesome, hilarious shit out of any of us. And he's a total bro to boot.
    >> Anonymous 08/26/11(Fri)02:04 No.16068894
    >her with a naked boob in her hand licking the pus off of one of the sores while Fat Nasty's group all stared in lust.

    >> Darth Itachi !!tNeHYqhngQr 08/26/11(Fri)03:12 No.16069561
    This is where I realized the entire story was bullshit.
    >> Anonymous 08/26/11(Fri)03:46 No.16069816
    This is all horseshit from a poster called 50foot ant on somethingawful.

    Not sure who copypasted it, but he knew it would be rage/derp inspiring.

    The musclegirl fetish bit was what cinched it.

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