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  • File : 1314600282.jpg-(69 KB, 450x738, THAT'S_HERESY.jpg)
    69 KB HERETIC Quest 3: Heretics On A Plane (With Samuel L. Jackson) Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)02:44 No.16103572  


    Also, you're a retardedly powerful psyker, a Heretek (big distinction), and a pirate.

    You're currently on the bridge of your looted Eldar Cruiser, Mork's Klaw, having captured it several months ago while working with a group of Chaos Orks. You've since become their leader, turned your Eldar captives into pirates, told the Chaos Gods to go fuck themselves, captured a Tau Cruiser, captured a Tau planet, started a rebellion against the Tau Empire, captured MORE Tau cruisers, captured more Eldar ships, and captured some Imperial Naval Ships. Also, you've gained the ability to teleport due to exposure to ridiculous amounts of Warp energy. Which is nice also.

    But like I was saying, you're currently on the bridge of Mork's Klaw. This thread begins where the last one left off, as seen here: >>16090095

    Here's the archived threads, in case you prefer those for some reason. I don't know, you guys are weird sometimes.

    What do?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:45 No.16103580
    rolled 49 = 49

    Punch some shit.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:46 No.16103592
    rolled 79 = 79


    Scratch that, I was excited enough.

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:48 No.16103609
    if this is all it going to be from now on im going to sleep
    >> Korosov 08/29/11(Mon)02:49 No.16103613
    rolled 5 = 5

    start mass producing SDCS for our piratearmy and maybe start organising them into legions? (1ship 1 legion?) as seeing that took tau plant they must be buttsore so start training our new solders
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:49 No.16103618
    rolled 9 = 9

    Say, how about we sneak into a craftworld and DEVOUR ALL THE DELICIOUS ENERGY IN THE SOULSTONES?
    Think about it. Eldar ships, Eldar mindslaves, et cetera.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:49 No.16103622
    rolled 17 = 17

    We've punched enough, stuff recently, now that we've got a massive fleet we need to actively seek out some dark Eldar, then once we learn the location of Comorragh we make it rain... lasers
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:51 No.16103631
    rolled 24 = 24

    "Open hailing frequencies Ms. Bubbles. I want to talk to all our new... recruits."

    >disregard chaos gods
    >acquire Eldar
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:53 No.16103645
    rolled 98 = 98

    this, then...

    then maybe >>16103631 for good measure
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)03:11 No.16103764
    Getting up from your chair, knocking the several Eldar kneeling in front of you aside, you pull up your pants and begin sending orders to your space station to begin mass producing SDCSs in amounts they'd never before been able to. They don't answer for a minute, obviously preoccupied with your previous order, but after bit of a delay they acknowledge your command and inform you that they will get to work ASAP.

    With that out of the way, you start planning out how best to organize your pirate armada. You think it best if you form them into Legions, with around 15 ships per Legion. This would give you four Legions of ships, with three left over to oversee the Tch'tal system. Good enough. Sending these orders to each ship, you make sure to precisely measure the pros and cons of including each individual ship into each of your legions.

    With that out of the way, you begin going over the activity logs from Mork's Klaw, recorded a few weeks prior to your taking it over. It seems that some Dark Eldar have been encroaching on Tau space, though apparently only for the purpose of scouting thus far. There have been a few skirmishes between the Craftworld fleets and the fleets of Comorragh because of this, though none have actually resulted in any casualties on either side. You believe it's only a matter of time before the Dark Eldar return, but the problem is the system's they've been scouting are near the edge of the Tau Empire opposite you. Most of them are populated by Human converts to the Greater Good as well, a fact you don't consider to be a coincidence.

    Through with your analysis, you return to your seat and order Ms. Bubbles back to hers. She is still frightened of your very presence, which is to be expected from someone who's just witnessed your full psychic might. Ordering her to open a hailing frequency to all the vessels you've captured, you're soon face to face with forty six Eldar and humans, all appearing pale and extraordinarily frightened.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)03:16 No.16103797
    Wait, there were only sixty two ships...

    RETCON: There were six Eldar ships, not five.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)03:18 No.16103813
    rolled 95 = 95

    Ladies and gentlemen, you have seen and felt my power, you have joined my fleet, and you carry my troops, You shall follow me on a raid the likes of which has never been seen before, to the darkest depths of the webway.

    In other words, we're going to burn Commoragh.

    Bubbles, give each legion the location of a world the Dark Eldar have been scouting, they are to watch for their ships, and capture any who "visit" again.

    Ground crews, train your men well, for once i have ripped the location of their city from the Dark Eldar we capture, we'll leave immediately.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)03:18 No.16103816
         File1314602333.jpg-(27 KB, 492x420, likeaboss.jpg)
    27 KB
    rolled 31 = 31

    "Yo dogs, I heard you liked your respective species, but that's too bad, because you're all my bitches now."
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)03:26 No.16103871
    rolled 90 = 90

    Bump their ships. Gently.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)03:35 No.16103939
    Wrong quest. Wasn't there supposed to be a VQ today anyway? The fuck happened there?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)03:38 No.16103957
    rolled 3 = 3


    Anybody know what timezone vedibere is in?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)03:40 No.16103985
    Eastern. He should most likely be fine.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)03:42 No.16104002
    rolled 10 = 10

    yeah, but eastern is where the hurricane hit, causing widespread power outages, he may have ended up in one of the areas that lost power.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)03:45 No.16104020
    I thought they used a different timezone out on the coast.
    Man, I've got to go look at a fucking map or something.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)03:47 No.16104042
    rolled 33 = 33

    nope, the entire eastern coastline of the united states is eastern standard time.

    canada has an extra time zone to the east iirc, but the (tropical storm by then) shot straight into the eastern standard timezone of canada
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)03:51 No.16104073
    Thanks for clearing that up.
    Hopefully the power companies don't drag their feet.

    Sorry OP for offtopic as hell.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)03:54 No.16104085
    rolled 10 = 10

    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)03:54 No.16104089
    >sorry about the delay, power went out
    Explaining your plan to your new recruits, you describe in detail how they will help you to burn Comorragh. Finished with your briefing, you wave towards Bubbles with intent, and she transmits the coordinates of the systems they are to occupy to each ship. Twelve of them in total, with three ships per planet, the remaining twenty seven ships staying in this part of Tau space to protect your assets.

    The captains of each of the ships can hardly speak, even now, but they manage to sputter out a unified agreement with your plan, obviously taking steps to avoid upsetting you. With the Warp-taint still upon their minds, you cannot help but wonder what the various Imperial Guardsmen, Sisters of Battle, and Eldar warriors aboard your new assets might be feeling at the moment.

    It has been twenty minutes since the last of the ships left for the planets scouted out by the Dark Eldar. They will arrive, you believe, somewhere in the time span of 5-8 days, after which they will return to Tch'tal with any Dark Eldar they capture. Soon enough, you will know the location of Comorragh in the Webway.

    The night shift aboard Mork's Klaw is now in progress. The bridge staff is gone, having left to sleep off the day's events. You are alone in the command center.

    What do?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)03:57 No.16104103
    rolled 35 = 35

    Proceed with nighttime heretek experiments on the heavier sleepers!
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)03:59 No.16104122
    rolled 86 = 86

    Evil laughter is always good
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:00 No.16104128
    rolled 23 = 23

    summon a minor daemon
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:01 No.16104131
    rolled 57 = 57

    Try to summon an inquisitor.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:02 No.16104135
    rolled 33 = 33

    snort cocaine
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:02 No.16104136
    rolled 94 = 94

    Follow up evil laughter with surprise sexings for Bubbles.

    Then ask her to teach you to make wraithbone.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:02 No.16104137
    rolled 61 = 61

    Think about the events of the day, and realise what happened was just fucking not normal! First you have all those crazy ass dreams, then you just go fucking apeshit and destroy an entire planet, scaring even your most loyal subject to shit in the process!
    Start some serious meditating about your mental problems, try to sort things out in your mind. Perhaps it was the power that suddenly drove you crazy, perhaps it was something more sinister, like the dark gods. Maybe you're just going insane. But whatever the fuck it was, we need to find out and take appropriate steps.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:04 No.16104151
    >ignore the insanity around you
    >commence surprise dickings

    This is getting ridiculous.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:06 No.16104165
    rolled 80 = 80

    at least I'm not the PUNCH EVERYTHING guy, I almost left cause of that.

    This at least is merely a time-skip method.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:08 No.16104183
    rolled 53 = 53

    We started as an alpha-level heretek ginger psyker aboard a chaos ork vessel, and you're just NOW claiming this quest is getting ridiculous? Whatever your smoking, pass it around!

    Also, I second >>16104137. as fun as it is bending reality over our knee and violently sodomizing it with a tabasco-coated barbed wire dildo, we need to keep a level head, lest we let the dark gods fuck us over in a time of weakness.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:10 No.16104194
    rolled 74 = 74

    You DO realize we're about to go wipe out the dark eldar on a whim, right?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:13 No.16104216
    Such is /tg/. Logic has no meaning here; the only thing that matters is your imagination.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:16 No.16104248
    rolled 32 = 32

    We're going to eradicate the Dark Eldar not on a whim, but for Bubbles! And we'll reunite her with her family, and pull them away from the dark path they have chosen!
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:16 No.16104254
    rolled 64 = 64

    So they can be put on our dark path?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:17 No.16104255
    rolled 57 = 57

    acquire the surveillance tapes aboard every ship that has thus far participated in an orgy and condense all the footage into a single dataslate, then psychically mail it to Nurgle with a note saying you've got a brand-new ingredient for his next plague
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:17 No.16104261
    rolled 96 = 96

    And after that we journey to the eye of terror and hit up some matron worlds for soul stones, something tells me we're going to need them.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:18 No.16104267
         File1314605880.jpg-(80 KB, 362x301, 1251920864873.jpg)
    80 KB
    rolled 43 = 43

    I fail to see how that is a bad thing.
    Crazy? Yes. Canon-raping? Fuck yes. Bad? Fuck your shit, im having fun!
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:19 No.16104279
    rolled 49 = 49

    No where did I imply that it was bad. Only that a level head wouldn't serve us where we're going.
    >> ridley-X !!XXqYjIONUdk 08/29/11(Mon)04:19 No.16104281
    > looted eldar cruiser.

    > chaos orks.

    Oh god what.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:20 No.16104287
    rolled 38 = 38

    Surely the Imperium by now has heard of our planet-punching escapades! Let's plan on signaling a few Mechanicus installments in the meantime and show them our glorious advancements in tech-heresy.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:21 No.16104294
    Now, hold on. Let me get this straight. We're going to commit genocide by finding the best hidden anything ever. So that we can redeem the honor the family of a member of our crew whom we mind raped to serve us. So that they can serve us in punching planets?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:22 No.16104303
    rolled 52 = 52

    Point taken.

    Also, if we go on a mindrape spree on the dark eldar, we're bound to get slaanesh's attention more than we have with the giant psychic-fueled orgies we've been having for the past few months. This could pose a problem if we gave a fuck.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:22 No.16104305
    rolled 51 = 51

    That and because fuck the Dark Eldar.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:22 No.16104306
    rolled 33 = 33

    Yes, but only after we mind rape them.
    And maybe assrape them too, for good measure.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)04:23 No.16104310
    Laughing maniacally, you adjust your wraithbone eye patch and leave to find Bubbles. Wishing to learn to make wraithbone, that you might use it for... something, you reach her quarters within five minutes, her room being closer to the bow of the ship than the bridge. Entering her room, you find her reading an old tome. She puts it down and seems to cringe at your presence. Approaching your first officer, you pull her close to you, and commence the Surprise Dickings. For several hours do you put your penis in her vagina, until at last you finish and start asking her about making Wraithbone.

    She's visibly upset, but seems to have remained loyal to you. Your display of power may have even made her more so, fear being an excellent motivator. With your dickings completed, she seems more focused, and considers your request to learn to make Wraithbone.

    "I-I've honestly n-no idea myself, m-my lord. Maybe you could ask someone else?"
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:23 No.16104321
         File1314606236.jpg-(60 KB, 800x520, 1312099759526.jpg)
    60 KB
    rolled 38 = 38

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:24 No.16104325
    rolled 19 = 19

    I still say we burn the warp around his ears if he so much as looks at us or our crew funny.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:24 No.16104326
    rolled 33 = 33

    Make an orchestra out of those proppa Orks we trained. We shall assault Commoragh with the sounds of glorious trumpet fanfare blaring in every Dark Eldar's mind! Or ominous chanting, whichever works.
    >> ridley-X !!XXqYjIONUdk 08/29/11(Mon)04:25 No.16104331

    Just out of curiosity OP, but chaos orks?

    I thought 40k orks were supposed to be immune to the warping effects of chaos or something?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:25 No.16104332
    rolled 15 = 15

    Continue dickings as we wander around punching the crew until someone tells us. If anyone mentions that we're fucking her as we talk to them, kill them with your mind.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:26 No.16104342

    This seems more like a tongue-in-cheek WH40k quest.

    So it's okay.


    I ask her to make a list of specific people, who might know something about wraithbone
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)04:27 No.16104344
    It's what /tg/ wanted, so it's what I gave them.

    Such is the solemn duty of a Questfag. To run the quest, and never question the insanity within. For that way lies railroading.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:27 No.16104345
    rolled 75 = 75


    let's put the punchings and dickings away for a bit and go find an eldar in our fleet that actually knows how to make the stuff.
    >> ridley-X !!XXqYjIONUdk 08/29/11(Mon)04:28 No.16104350


    I understand your pain.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:28 No.16104353
    rolled 29 = 29

    Eh, if nothng else one of the DE we pull apart will know.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:28 No.16104357
    rolled 74 = 74

    "It's... alright. It wasn't that important anyway", I mumble to myself.
    Get back to own quarters. Commence meditating. Try not to lose mind too much from now on.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:28 No.16104359
    rolled 20 = 20

    They aren't it's just that orks who aren't twisted by chaos think chaos orks "smell funny" and proceed to kill them.

    Well, would you happen to know who does know how?

    I cannot truly combine the various technological advances each race has made unless i understand how to construct them in the first place.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:30 No.16104370
    rolled 99 = 99

    this sounds like a good plan for now, but am I the only one who thinks we should be trying to calm bubbles down a bit? I mean, I know we're pretty much schizophrenic and psychotic by default, but respect through admiration goes alot further and harbors less resentment and betrayal-probability than respect through fear.

    Fear works pretty well for everyone else though. I just got a soft spot for the poor little bitch
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:32 No.16104383
    rolled 4 = 4

    This train...

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:34 No.16104393
    rolled 94 = 94

    Do so by showing her the warp.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:37 No.16104417
    rolled 45 = 45

    Why do I get the feeling this conversation is going to go something like General Ripper's when he tried to explain himself to Mandrake?

    Children's icecream.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:38 No.16104428
    rolled 30 = 30

    Then explaining how you're going to Break the chains upon your freedom, using it, and denying the chaos gods the slightest hint of obeisance.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:41 No.16104449
    rolled 10 = 10

    I agree with you, there's just not much we can do. I think what we should do is use our powers to take the fear away from her a bit. Not alter her opinion of us, just stop her from panicking for a while, so she can get to sleep at night again.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:42 No.16104457
    rolled 68 = 68

    >replace world with warp
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:45 No.16104481
    rolled 41 = 41

    Not quite what I had mind.

    Mostly just rip open reality in front of her and have her gaze unprotected into it, until she becomes less jumpy and more twitchy.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)04:49 No.16104508
    You decide you really need to reassure your first officer. In doing so, you will no doubt increase crew moral. A first officer that can barely address the captain is no first officer at all.

    Taking Bubbles' hand, you guide her to the couch and begin explaining you actions to her. You do not wish her to fear you to the extent she does. Rather, you want to to serve you out of loyalty to her oath.

    For the remainder of the night shift do you attempt to calm her, with her mind seemingly damaged by your very existence. It takes a master to put the pieces back into place, and a master you are. As a clockmaker repairs clocks, so do you repair her opinion of you, and her shattered mind. Not with psychic power, or psychological conditioning, but with words. Ordinary words, arranged in such a way as to be reasonable, convincing arguments. These are the tools of a master.

    And so did you calm Bubbles' nerves. The Eldar, exhausted by the events around her, has fallen asleep on her couch. You leave her be, returning to your quarters to sleep yourself.


    You are floating in a void. An oh so familiar one. Around you, you feel the presence of beings infinitely greater than yourself. Their intellects vaster, their age incalculable, their plans unknowable. They are truly gods.

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:50 No.16104518
    rolled 30 = 30

    Fuck your shit too Khorne.
    But yeah, it was pretty cool.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:50 No.16104521
    rolled 1 = 1

    Yup, I know, wait till you see my next trick.

    Same rules go for you as for everyone else though, you start messing with my crew i burn the warp down around you.

    so long as you understand my rules, what can i do for ya
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)04:53 No.16104548
    >rolls a 1
    About damn time too.

    Prepare for critical failure.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:54 No.16104555
    rolled 47 = 47

    Agreed. Let's see something fucking terrible happen!
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:56 No.16104573
         File1314608170.jpg-(47 KB, 500x357, 1296570630154.jpg)
    47 KB
    rolled 58 = 58


    You're goddamn right it was!
    ...wait, what the fuck are you doing in my dreams? Unless you're going to turn into a dozen hot women and re-enact what i've been doing for the last few months over and over, talk fast or fuck off!
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:57 No.16104583
    ...preparing anus.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:57 No.16104590
    rolled 43 = 43

    Battle tiem with khorne? fuck yeah.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)04:58 No.16104593
         File1314608285.jpg-(26 KB, 251x414, 1288068986118.jpg)
    26 KB
    rolled 23 = 23

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:03 No.16104624
    rolled 78 = 78

    I don't care what's about to happen.

    Get Nurgle on the horn!

    I mean our head. Get Nurgle in our head.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)05:05 No.16104634

    A wave of excruciating pain washes over you, as you find yourself thrown across your quarters, breaking your arm against the wall. As blood seeps from your shoulder, you feel the Warp tearing at your body, seeming to pull itself into you. Looking down at yourself, you feel a sudden rush of power, followed by even greater pain. With a flash of red and black, a hole to the Warp is torn through your quarters, stretching from wall to wall. And out pours the World Eaters, armored and armed, followed by a gang of vicious Bloodletters.

    What do?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:06 No.16104647
         File1314608809.jpg-(17 KB, 300x228, shit-just-got-real.jpg)
    17 KB
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:07 No.16104650
    rolled 8 = 8

    lets see
    >> ridley-X !!XXqYjIONUdk 08/29/11(Mon)05:07 No.16104652
    rolled 8 = 8


    Teleport away, preferably into whatever passes for an emergency lifeboat on an eldar ship, activate the self-destruct sequence.

    Or sever the link between the bloodletters and their masters, thereby causing them to fall upon the world eaters and tear them apart.

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:07 No.16104654
    rolled 91 = 91

    Call Nurgle, tell him Khorne's being an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:08 No.16104659
    rolled 86 = 86

    Will drain the daemons.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:08 No.16104660
    Critical failure?

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:09 No.16104664
    rolled 68 = 68

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:11 No.16104680
    rolled 56 = 56

    Mindrape those bitchass mahreens. Call in the cybork.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:12 No.16104684
    rolled 26 = 26

    Call the CybOrk, hurry!

    Also, teleport the fuck out of dodge.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:15 No.16104709
    rolled 25 = 25

    Break wind.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:16 No.16104714
    rolled 25 = 25

    Teleport sounds nice, but first to bubbles, then activate self destruct, then escape.
    >> ridley-X !!XXqYjIONUdk 08/29/11(Mon)05:17 No.16104726
    rolled 55 = 55

    Disregard earlier post.

    Sever demonic control, mindrape world eaters and make them your slaves.

    Invite deamonic voice to send more.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:18 No.16104735
    How the hell are you gonna run from a chaos god?
    He'll just open more portals where ever the fuck we go.
    Do something badass and he'll leave us alone.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)05:20 No.16104742
    Reaching out beyond the rift to the Warp, you pull whatever energies you can through the pain, and reach out for Nurgle, stopping time for just an instant as you do so. Crying for aid, claiming Khorne's being an asshole, you get no response as the flow of time resumes, and the World Eaters and Daemons alike raise their weapons with intent to kill.

    Thinking fast, you cry out through the Warp, attempting to drain the Daemons of their energies.

    >secret GM roll
    >god dammit

    Ripping apart the Warp energies that make up the Daemons, you drain them completely and leave nothing where they once stood. As the energies of the daemons enter your body, you feel sharpened horns tearing their way through your flesh and out of the base of your skull. Though small, the mark of Daemonic corruption is painfully evident.

    Turning your attention back to the World Eaters, you discover their having dissolved into a pile of sicken flesh. Nurgle's influence is painfully obvious, as the portal to the Warp closes, pulling in a few loose pieces of furniture and melting part of the wall.

    What do?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:22 No.16104747
    rolled 64 = 64

    Apologize to Khorne for being a dick.

    For reals, guys. We'd be dead if not for Nurgle being a bro.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:22 No.16104751
    rolled 59 = 59

    Calm the fuck down, call Bubbles over the coms and ask her how deep the shit pile we are now standing in is.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:22 No.16104752
    rolled 34 = 34

    Offer thanks to Nurgle. Maybe offer the next planet we come across to him or something.

    Polish horns, and set hat in a way that looks badass.

    Run into the halls cursing.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:24 No.16104763
    rolled 33 = 33

    No way, Khorne is the one who didn't want to follow the rules for interaction with us.

    We basically insta-gibbed his daemons, and were going to do the same to the marines right afterwards.

    "fuck you khorne your daemons are pansies."
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:24 No.16104767
         File1314609883.jpg-(106 KB, 500x444, breakoffthehorns[1].jpg)
    106 KB
    rolled 95 = 95

    RIP THOSE FUCKING HORNS OUT OF OUR HEAD! We dont need no bullshit mutations to be awesome!

    Also, mentally fist-bump nurgle for his help, though be sure to wash brain in bleach for a few hours afterward just to be sure.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:25 No.16104774
    rolled 86 = 86

    Thank Nurgle.
    Check comms to see if anything else is onboard.
    >> ridley-X !!XXqYjIONUdk 08/29/11(Mon)05:25 No.16104775
    rolled 20 = 20


    Offer yourself as a willing disciple to papa nurgle.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:26 No.16104778
    rolled 20 = 20

    Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit... I guess it could have gone worse, but still, shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit...
    Use powers to find out if everything is alright with the other ships, Khorne sounded like he might open up more than just one portal. Then use regeneration (I remember we do have that power) to heal those wounds. Also try to analyze the marks of chaos, see what they do, how they feel mentally, if we can get rid of them.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)05:36 No.16104868
    Grasping the Daemonic horns with both hands, you pull and scream in agony as you do so. The fury of the Warp lashes at your body as you psychically and physically reject the mutations, tearing the bone spikes from your skull, and throwing them to the ground. Though you feel new ones attempting to grow, you are not deterred, burning your very soul with your psychic powers to cleanse yourself of the Warp-taint. The bone horns now embedded in the ground evaporate as your cries of pain reverberate into the Warp, your soul burning with indignation at the very idea that you might be corrupted.

    You have successfully purged your body of the Warp-taint, and cleansed your mind of whatever mental disorders it may have had before. You have purified yourself, and feel... enlightened, somehow. You understand the nature of the Daemonic realm, though you cannot fulling describe it to yourself. You only understand it through instinct.

    >Trait Gained: Possession Immunity

    Breathing heavily from the effort, you send out a brief message of thanks to Nurgle along the same lines you did before. Collapsing into your desk chair, you get a message over the Vox from Bubbles.

    "My lord, what happened? Several of our ships reported space marines boarding them, but they're now reporting that all the boarders suddenly dissolved."
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:36 No.16104872
    rolled 91 = 91

    That planet we looted.
    Does it have a moon?
    If not loot an asteroid and drag it over.

    Carve Nurgle's symbol into that shit.

    He's the only one who didn't pop in uninvited. And we fucking owe him.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:38 No.16104885
    rolled 87 = 87

    Fucking this.
    Bark out the order, and rest some.
    Without sleeping of course.
    >> ridley-X !!XXqYjIONUdk 08/29/11(Mon)05:38 No.16104887
    rolled 16 = 16


    Command bubbles to cover herself in her own excrement in supplication to almighty nurgle.

    Start manufacturing bio-weapons.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:38 No.16104888
    >possession immunity

    So are we trying to bring the Star Child to life now, our what?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:39 No.16104900
    rolled 61 = 61

    Khorne decided to pop in, took a dislike to our rules of interaction, he decided to send some bloodletters and chaos marines to attack

    Nurgle's been pretty bro recently so i told him about khorne being a dick, so he took care of the marines while i took out the daemons.

    Which reminds me, everybody should probably burn those remains, with plasma.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:40 No.16104920
    rolled 51 = 51


    Also, tell her to get some orks to jettison the remains of those marines into the nearest star. Plasma won't be enough to get rid of the shit.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:41 No.16104927
    rolled 59 = 59

    Holy shit, he cleared out all of them?

    Backing this! He owe gandpappy big time! This'll be a good start.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:42 No.16104928
    rolled 77 = 77

    Tell her Khorne bitch-slapped us, so we bitch-slapped him right the fuck back. There may be complications coming down the road though. Then rest a bit.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:45 No.16104955
    rolled 52 = 52

    Any chain axes make it out alright?

    Some of our Nobs may appreciate them.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:45 No.16104957
    rolled 39, 33 = 72

    make bubbles make me a P and J sammach and just relax with bubbles and a shot of vodka and plan next coarse of action
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:47 No.16104972
    rolled 17 = 17

    That roll doesn't seem right... still, this sounds like a damn fine course of action. Actually, I should make me a P and J sandwich myself now...
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:48 No.16104985
         File1314611329.jpg-(84 KB, 750x600, 30% of women.jpg)
    84 KB
    rolled 18 = 18

    tell her to get back to the kitchen
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)05:50 No.16104994
    Explaining that you and Khorne got into a bitch-slapping fight, you order that she purge the remains of the Chaos Space Marines, and have them dumped on the nearest star. She doesn't respond, but you trust your number 1 to do what you've ordered. Exiting the room, you silently meditate for a minute, trying to sleep without sleeping, somehow. Perhaps if you shifted your subconscious into the Webway, instead of the Warp...

    You concentration is interrupted by a group of Eldar rushing into your quarters armed with plasma weapons and some kind of cleaning device. Shots of plasma ring out in your quarters, as the entire room is purged of any possible infection. Then, with that done, a loud sucking sound is audible for a moment, before the Eldar rush off to the nearest airlock.

    Stumbling towards the bridge in a half awake state, you order all ships to begin carving Nurgle's symbol into one of Tch'tal's five moons. Collapsing into your chair, you use the remainder of your energy to shift your mind out of the Warp as you fall into sleep, your will unable to keep you body from performing its natural functions.

    >and with that, I'm off for the night. I'll continue in this thread in the afternoon, assuming I still have power.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:52 No.16105014
         File1314611539.jpg-(72 KB, 596x448, faggot.jpg)
    72 KB
    rolled 76 = 76


    really /tg/, i'm only going with this because i want a sammich
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:52 No.16105017
    We're so dead. I mean, Khorne's fucking mad as fuck at us. We're screwed, man. SCREWED.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:53 No.16105025
    rolled 79 = 79

    Glorious. Hope I'm awake for it, but if not I know this thread is in good hands.

    Good show OP, good show.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:54 No.16105029
         File1314611641.png-(412 KB, 840x523, 1302525609323.png)
    412 KB
    rolled 31 = 31

    You, sir, are fucking awesome, and you should feel fucking awesome. This is one of the best quests I've seen in months.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:54 No.16105032
    rolled 20 = 20

    I don't see why, all we need to be is dead killier than him

    And with our new guns, and the orks as our marine force I don't see what could possibly go wrong.

    Yes, i am indeed suggesting that we become better at killing than the god of blood.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:56 No.16105043
    Should we archive this in case OP doesn't come back?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:57 No.16105048
    rolled 71 = 71

    Khorne don't give a shit, cuase WE don't give a shit.

    We'll go do awesome shit, and he'll get his rocks off when spill entire worlds worth of blood. Everything will be cool.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:58 No.16105053
    rolled 81 = 81

    Yes, namely becuase I want to read this shit again one day. Grab the first one too if it's still around.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)05:59 No.16105067
    rolled 14 = 14

    Yeah, we're gonna be okay. Nurgle should be pleased with us for carving that symbol for him. He might use it to get some of his folks into the real world and nurglify the population of our planet, but what the fuck, we don't need them.

    Let's not become too attached to Nurgle though, he's our bro, not our master.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)06:00 No.16105070
    rolled 93 = 93

    Yeah, it's just best to get these debts out of the way as quick as possible. Once we make good with him, that'll be the end of it. We can still be bros and exchange favors and shit later though.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)06:02 No.16105081

    Also, our arm is still broken. Maybe this is a good time to replace it with GLORIOUS TECHNOLOGY?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)06:04 No.16105099
    rolled 86 = 86

    We ripped both horns out at the same time.
    At some point our arms healed. Likely when we ate the daemons.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)06:06 No.16105112
         File1314612395.gif-(7 KB, 301x270, 1282466626930.gif)
    7 KB
    rolled 89 = 89

    Hell no! we got regeneration. We don't need to replace shit unless it gets vaporized off, and even then we can probably re-grow it without a problem.

    Also, I just realized we ripped the horns off our head with a broken arm.

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)06:22 No.16105196
    rolled 71 = 71

    Actually we leveled up last thread

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)07:02 No.16105428
    rolled 92 = 92

    Ask papa Nurgle for some gifts to the orks
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)07:30 No.16105610
    We need to find us some more orks, and get us a proper piraty WAAAAAGH!.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)07:39 No.16105651
    rolling would be good
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)07:41 No.16105666
    rolled 95 = 95

    fucks sake
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)10:22 No.16106478
    rolled 21 = 21

    *Still waiting for the closest planet to be build into a ship.*
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)14:47 No.16106881
    Quest Resuming.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)15:06 No.16106894
         File1314644768.jpg-(106 KB, 600x848, Lorgar.jpg)
    106 KB
    rolled 48 = 48


    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)15:31 No.16106911
    rolled 95 = 95

    I make porridge for breakfast. Porridge with dried Meat and Mushrooms. And I take some juice.

    After a healthy breakfast I SUMMON GREATER SCORPIONS!
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)15:32 No.16106929
    rolled 32 = 32

    I make porridge for breakfast. Porridge with dried Meat and Mushrooms. And I take some juice.

    After a healthy breakfast I SUMMON GREATER SCORPIONS!
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)15:32 No.16106933
    rolled 65 = 65

    Whelp, time to stop mucking about.
    Let's see if any of the Eldar crew knows how to create wraithbone, and learn how it is created if any of them knows.
    Then examine the details of any Tau stealthsuits, if we have any. I want thermoptic camouflage-wearing Kommandos for our raid on Commoragh.
    Hell, maybe even break down some crisis suits, so that we can make wraithbone power armor for our orks. Then they can carry EVEN MORE dakka.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)15:33 No.16106941
    rolled 85 = 85

    fuck yea

    lets regain our strength then on to were ever
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)15:33 No.16106953
    rolled 28 = 28

    Fuck Khorne! We aren't giving that asshole shit!

    We finish that giant symbol for Nurgle, and then we're calling it even.
    Then we prepare for our raid on Commoragh.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)15:37 No.16106978
    rolled 50 = 50

    Exactly. Khorne thought he could become our master, fuck that asshole.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)15:40 No.16107005
    But aren't Scorpions technological? I don't think you can summon them, like Daemons.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)15:42 No.16107023
    rolled 4 = 4

    Obviously, we create a totally new kind of demon out of raw warp energy. As a pet.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)15:57 No.16107097
    rolled 39 = 39

    Don't mention daemons when you roll so dangerously low.

    And yeah, let's learn wraithbone.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)15:59 No.16107144
         File1314647974.jpg-(38 KB, 400x606, 1311260876263.jpg)
    38 KB
    rolled 62 = 62


    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)15:59 No.16107147
    Awaking with a start, you instantly begin to check your body for mutation. Though finding none, the daemonic energies you absorbed previously are still heavy upon your memory, the feeling of ripping the very essence of the Warp from your body as sharp as ever.

    Regaining your composure, you pull yourself to your feet. Your body aches for nutrition, having been denied it while you were channeling the raw, unfettered power of the Warp. And so you leave for the mess hall, that you might get something to eat. Passing through the dark wraithbone corridors, you enter the officer's mess, waving at the crew members within when they stand at attention. You can see the fear in their eyes, even as you command them be at ease.

    Ordering forth a very filling breakfast of porridge with meat and mushrooms, you eat slowly at first, still distracted by the feeling of pain in your arm. Examining it, you find the broken bone to have reset itself and healed, but the nerve endings within the limb appear to have yet to repair themselves.

    Finished with your breakfast, you leave the officer's mess as a group of Orks begin to beat each other to death with cartons of juice. Once more in your quarters, last night's events seem to have had no effect, the Wraithbone the ship is made of having healing over the damaged sections of the room. Even your furniture is back where it belongs.

    Reading through a sorcerous tome, most of the writings are currently lost on you. But with time, you've no doubt you could become a potent sorcerer in your own right. As it is now though, you don't possess the knowledge to bind Daemons to the material realm on purpose, merely accidentally.

    What do?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:03 No.16107187
    rolled 99 = 99

    Do this >>16106933
    Stop mucking about and get shit ready for burninating Commoragh.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:05 No.16107212
    rolled 57 = 57


    This >>16107187
    Also try to repair your PR with your crew, make them follow you with out fear of you. At least the eldar bitches and the gentle orks, and that one cybork.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:06 No.16107230
    rolled 33 = 33

    We're not really a nice guy. The only reason everyone bu the orks follow us is becuase we mind raped them.

    Without that fear, what other reasons do they even have to stick around, and not stick us?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:07 No.16107234
    rolled 93 = 93

    This, and we might also read some more tomes of warp magic if we have the time.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:08 No.16107243
    rolled 78 = 78

    Punching a planet event sent more animosity then before the event. We want them to not betray us ever. Remember they all used to follow someone else before us.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:08 No.16107250
    rolled 87 = 87

    We are not a khornite, so shut up
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:09 No.16107257
    rolled 30 = 30

    I'm not really against PR, but what's your plan? Bread and games?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:10 No.16107279
    rolled 62 = 62

    My point is that most aren't here what I would call "willingly".

    Trying to make nice with them would just leave even more doubt in their minds. As long as we keep doing awesome shit and not doing it to them they'll probably stay in line. If not, we'll just prove who's okiest.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:11 No.16107288
    rolled 36 = 36

    I'm not saying be nice, I'm saying improve their fealty.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:13 No.16107304
    rolled 65 = 65

    If not by being nice or being even scarier, then how?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:13 No.16107309
    rolled 64 = 64

    That's not my problem. Sorry Heresy.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:15 No.16107327
    rolled 36 = 36

    Eh, Imperials are used to it. The orks should be alright with it. Fuck the tau. Maybe we can get closer to the eldar by partaking in some group sorcery lessons. Ya'know be extra heretical.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:20 No.16107384
    rolled 95 = 95

    I guess a good way would be to remind some of them that we're one of them? Eating with them was a good first step, now we can start building some battle suits or whatever, group sorcery lessons, wraithbone... let's just interact with people without killing too many of them.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:22 No.16107399
    rolled 82 = 82

    That ain't very orky.

    Remember, they think we hear Mork and have seen us punch planets. Maybe we can just hold a pep rally of how awesome we are.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:25 No.16107445
    rolled 81 = 81

    We can be orky towards the orks and such.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:28 No.16107471
    rolled 83 = 83

    That's sneakin' that is.

    All we need to do is give some Hitler speeches about how great we are, and how lucky they are to be on our side. The Orks hear we talk to Mork, the Eldar hear we talk to Khorne, the Imperials got thrown across the sector by us, I think they have all the proof they need.

    Let's just call them our great army, and rile them up about being a part of it.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:29 No.16107486
    rolled 6 = 6

    I'm fine with that, I just don't want to be killed in our sleep type shit.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:29 No.16107497
         File1314649795.jpg-(58 KB, 398x460, 1313808784656.jpg)
    58 KB

    You expect us to coddle the others just because they're not green? Fuck that, if they work on our ship, they're expected to pull their weight, we shouldn't need to hold their hands and boost their self-esteem.

    We're their fucking boss. Not their mom, not their friend. Their LEADER.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:30 No.16107500
    rolled 39 = 39

    Dude, I think the imperials may be dead...
    Also, you forgot the Tau.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:30 No.16107502
    rolled 72 = 72

    We'll make them too proud to serve us for that shit.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:30 No.16107510
    rolled 52 = 52

    Fuck the tau.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:31 No.16107520
    rolled 52 = 52

    >I just don't want to be killed in our sleep type shit.

    We can take precautions about that.

    A good idea might be to pick a few promising crew members and use them to get a feel for any rumors of dissent or unease in our army.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:33 No.16107548

    That's actually very fitting, oddly enough.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:34 No.16107573
    rolled 41 = 41


    Well, our psyker doesn't actually have a name yet...

    Dice gods, shall this ginger be named Revan?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:35 No.16107576
    rolled 46 = 46

    And that's why I wanted a pet... to watch over us while we sleep!
    Perhaps we can get an Ork and mutate him into a pet? On the other hand, people might find that scary again...
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:36 No.16107581

    Appears to be a solid "probably not". Oh well.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:37 No.16107587
    rolled 31 = 31

    CybOrk is our pet.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:38 No.16107596
         File1314650289.jpg-(6 KB, 239x239, bloo-in-sunglasses.jpg)
    6 KB
    rolled 89 = 89


    Ridiculous power level? Check.
    Fucking over the old, bureaucratic power system that's supposed to be the "good guys"? Check.
    Doing it all in style? Absolutely check.

    I fully agree with naming our character Revan.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:39 No.16107606
         File1314650384.jpg-(79 KB, 517x1000, 1220102035887.jpg)
    79 KB
    We need to find and brainwash a convent of Sisters into believing we are the Emprah.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:42 No.16107644
    rolled 44 = 44

    IIRC we have a bunch of sisters in the human section of our fleet, they were in transit in the naval staging area where we captured the ships then psychically punted the planet into the sun.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)16:44 No.16107664
    Leaving to find someone who knows how to make wraithbone, you move through the Klaw's various hallways, interrogating any Eldar you find on the subject. They are fearful of you, and that fear inspires them to immediately answer your questions without any second thoughts. Soon enough, you are deep in the belly of the Klaw, within the section that once would have housed those Eldar dedicated to unlocking their true Warp powers. Those telepaths that exist there now have been traumatized by your usage of the Warp, the energies you wield lashing at their psyches all hours of the day.

    Demanding that they teach you to create Wraithbone, the telepaths mutter amongst themselves and cower in fear. You can sense the mental anguish they feel merely by being near you, but you don't care. You just want to learn from them. Finally, one of the Eldar speaks up.

    "I-I-I'm the Bonesinger on b-b-board this sh-sh-ship."

    Congratulating the Eldar on that feat, you ask it to show you how to make Wraithbone. The telepath pulls you aside, away from the others, and hands you a piece of wraithbone she pulled from the ship itself.

    For four days to you train with the Eldar to manipulate the single piece of wraithbone, growing and shrinking it as she shows you to. What you lack in skill, you make up for with sheer psychic power, your mind drawing on such energies that whether or not you possess the knowledge to twist the wraithbone is a moot point. Reality twists around you little finger, as you learn of the secret and hidden processes by which Wraithbone is make. For now, you can only grow it in limited amounts, in basic shapes, but with time and practice, you will no doubt get better at it.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)16:45 No.16107671
    In between Wraithbone crafting sessions, you also take the time to study the Tau stealth suits you've recovered. Their underlying principles are difficult for you to grasp, but after ordering some Tau to teach you the basics, you've manage to create a much more bulky version for use by Orks. With a bit of integrated Wraithbone, you manage to wire it to tap into the Ork gestalt field, though in the process krumpan 23 of your Ork test subjects. The suit will bond itself to the individual Kommando that wears it, enabling the Ork to activate it by being a sneaky git.

    CybOrk soon drags in a bunch of Kommandos for you to test the suits on. Throwing the sneaky gits to the ground, the massive mass of metal and meat mentions a menagerie of multiple morons massacring many of your more important men in the lower decks. It seems that some of the Orks have decided they don't like sharing space with the Tau.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:45 No.16107674
    rolled 43 = 43

    That reminds me; we should check to see who else we got.
    I remember some Sisters, and I think we also got some IG, but I can't be sure.
    It would be hilarious if we also got some space marines too, but I'll be happy with more Tech Adepts who we're going to lead down the path of heretek.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:49 No.16107704
    rolled 80 = 80

    Start krumping any Ork who decides he doesn't want to play nice with the others of the fleet, tell the the ones that are left that we're going to have the biggest WAAAUGH the galaxy has ever seen and that if they don't shape up they'll miss out.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)16:49 No.16107710
    Also, here are your crew/ship figures, in case you were wondering or whatever.

    >7 Eldar cruisers
    >40 Imperial naval vessels, multiple types
    >1 Orky-fied Imperial Cruiser
    >15 Tau ships, multiple types

    >20,047 Tau
    >7,259 Orks
    >2,140 Eldar
    >40,000 Guardsmen
    >1,000,000 Imperial Naval crewmen
    >50,000 Sisters of Battle
    >10,000 techpriests
    >200 Squats
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:50 No.16107715
    rolled 67 = 67

    Then it's time ta show those dumb gits that when the warboss tells 'em not ta krump da blue mekboyz, ta not krump da blue mekboyz or they're gonna get a roight krumpen' they won' soon ferget!
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:51 No.16107730
         File1314651102.jpg-(32 KB, 373x355, gagaispleased.jpg)
    32 KB
    >200 squats
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:51 No.16107731
    >200 squats
    Where the hell did they come from?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:54 No.16107742
    rolled 72 = 72

    Bring on-board the five most zealous Sisters and bend their minds into properly obedient bodyguards.

    Work on training Bubbles' psyker abilities if possible. A Farseer would be handy.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:54 No.16107757
    There were 2 Squat, and then the captain of the ship they were on forgot to send them to the butcher, so they multiplied.

    We should play Squat Fortress.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)16:59 No.16107810
         File1314651588.jpg-(756 KB, 630x900, Where_is_your_god_now.jpg)
    756 KB
    rolled 5 = 5


    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)17:00 No.16107818
    Wait, what?

    Dammit, I fucked on on the figures. Missed a digit while typing.

    >340,000 Guardsmen

    Sorry guys, I fail.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:00 No.16107820
         File1314651646.png-(73 KB, 700x992, 1251988602583.png)
    73 KB

    Here you go.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:00 No.16107822
    rolled 68 = 68

    Nah, let's not turn Bubbles into a psyker, even if we can... we already have some Eldar psykers on the ship, and you saw what our powers did to their minds.

    Hey, don't we still have some unexamined archeotech? Let's have someone examine all of it.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:02 No.16107837
    God dammit OP, y u do this?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:05 No.16107855
    rolled 75 = 75

    Can we get rid of capslock Khorne guy? I liked how he got us to punch a planet into a star, but enough with that for now, seriously...
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:07 No.16107872
         File1314652029.jpg-(94 KB, 800x600, Chaos_Terminator_Champion_by_w(...).jpg)
    94 KB


    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:09 No.16107884
    rolled 91 = 91

    Actually, several of us wish you'd leave.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:10 No.16107896
         File1314652227.png-(395 KB, 900x506, son_of_malice.png)
    395 KB

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:11 No.16107904
    rolled 16 = 16

    Majority of the techpriests to be transferred from the ships to our asteroid base. Leave a skeleton crew of techpriests to keep the Imperial ships running for now.
    The techpriests on the asteroid base to use the Tau technicians to retool the forges there, and if possible those on the planet that we control, to reverse-engineer a Sister power armor suit, and begin mass manufacture in order to equip half of the Guardsmen.
    Sure, they're not as good as space marine armor, but it's still a lot better than carapace armor. And it improves the chances of successfully burning Commoragh, and shows the IG that we care about their ability to succeed. What did the Imperium give them? Some shitty carapace armor and a lasrifle. What are we giving them? Power armor, rail-shuriken-plasma guns and shield drones.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:14 No.16107933
    rolled 70 = 70

    Anywho, lets krump the sneaky gits and tell them to play nice, if they don't krump'em harder. Also make the gits think being sneaky is orky, and then show them that the tau are very orky through stealth.

    Followed by >>16107904
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:14 No.16107938
    rolled 31 = 31

    Actually carapace armor is generally only issued to storm troopers, and on important raids, for the most part they're only using flak armor, which does literally noting against any of the weapons used by the imperiums major foes.

    Hell, it barely does anything for las guns.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:14 No.16107939
    >Claims to be a Khornite
    >son of malice.jpg
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:14 No.16107940
    rolled 22 = 22

    This sounds awesome, and deserves a higher roll.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:15 No.16107952
    rolled 29 = 29

    I don't think so Jim. But I'll try to help out.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:17 No.16107974
         File1314652635.jpg-(75 KB, 753x1062, chaos_space_marine_3.jpg)
    75 KB

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:18 No.16107986
    Speaking of blanks. I wonder how long until a Culexus gets sent after us.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)17:19 No.16107996
    Shouting at the CybOrk to get out of your way, you run out of the lab, followed closely by the CybOrk. Entering the elevatus to the lower levels, you stand waiting as the platform slowly goes deeper into the heart of the ship. Soothing music comes the interface as it descends, an old function you've yet to figure out how to disable. The CybOrk hums along to the song, tapping his massive metal claws rhythmically.

    Finally, the elevatus stops, and the bulkheads open, allowing you to exit the metal box. All around you, Orks and Tau are fighting, some Orks fighting alongside the Tau, and some of them against them. Da boyz fightan da Tau seem ta be krumpin dem pretty well, something which you cannot allow to continue. Pulling out your archeotech pistol, you point and shoot at several of the Orks, the flash of light seeming to get their attention as those Orks you shot at collapse into piles of goo. The Orks still alive stop fighting for a moment, as your CybOrk rips three of them in half at once. The CybOrk shouts at the others to stop krumpan each other and listen.

    "Put down ya shootas, ya gitz got two-someting seconds ta comply."

    The Orks look around, and drop their shootas, the CybOrk shooting one in the face for dropping his a second too late.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:22 No.16108017
         File1314652932.jpg-(151 KB, 999x799, chaos_spase_marine_final.jpg)
    151 KB

    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)17:22 No.16108023
    Thanking the CybOrk for its dealing with the situation, you explain your plan for a great WAAAGH to the Orks. With several different species working in conjunction with the Orks, you believe that your WAAAGH can be the greatest WAAAGH in history. While they might not like your methods, they can fucking deal with it, or get Krumped and thrown out the airlock.

    Shooting one more of the Orks for good measure, you stare them down until they break eye contact and leave to get back to work. The CybOrk follows them, making sure to kick some of the Nobs in the back.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:22 No.16108026
    rolled 59 = 59


    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:23 No.16108036

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:23 No.16108038
    rolled 68 = 68

    This plan
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:24 No.16108044
    Other then telling Caps Khrone Guy to fuck off what is our plan?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:26 No.16108076
         File1314653201.gif-(30 KB, 399x408, 1306482751572.gif)
    30 KB
    rolled 54 = 54


    Inspirational speech time?

    Inspirational speech time.

    Make it something along the lines of claiming race is irrelevant, merit is merit no matter who it comes from and will be recognized as such. The other factions that we fight against are handicapped by bureacracy and xenophobia, destroyed from within by their own separate parts rebelling against each other. We are different, we gather strength in any form, and will not be held back by petty bickering like this.

    Instead, prepare yourself to fight against those who stand in the way of our glory!
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:26 No.16108077
    rolled 78 = 78

    This >>16107904
    With a side of talking to Bubbles to see if she has calmed down.

    >cyChap copiously
    Alrighty capcha has a thing for the cybork.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:27 No.16108080
    rolled 64 = 64


    Oh dammit, I spent too long typing that up.
    >> Sonir !FAIwcQVJw2 08/29/11(Mon)17:27 No.16108086
         File1314653276.png-(135 KB, 690x340, 1313849796469.png)
    135 KB

    ((Don't have me because I'm beautiful~))
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:28 No.16108090
    rolled 40 = 40

    We are still waiting for those ships to return with Dark Eldar, are we not? Until then, get better equipment, train our powers, keep everyone happy... actually, as we just forbid the Orks to kill the Tau, we should do something for them. I propose they can build some fast vehicles and race them on our planet, shit like that. We need to keep their morale high in these times of relatively few fights.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:28 No.16108100
    rolled 24 = 24

    Ask Bubbles for news on the dark eldar.

    Practice with wraithbone, do it as you travel the corridors, in fact do it whenever you have a free moment, until you can do it without needing to focus on it.

    Constantly having writhing wraithbone hovering over your shoulder would have a bit of impact on those who saw it.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:30 No.16108112
    rolled 96 = 96

    Extra ration of ale for the most efficient group that races? Mixed race teams? Bubbles and the Alpha Psyker wining anyways and giving extra ale to all for their good work along with an inspirational speech?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:39 No.16108174
    rolled 89 = 89

    Sounds all good to me. I actually only wanted the Orkz to race, they like this sort of thing, but sure, let anyone participate who wants. I guess we'll have to use whatever vehicles are available on the Tau world.
    Although I think we shouldn't use our powers to win... we're doing this to build up morale, it shouldn't look like we're cheating. Still, lots of Ale for everyone, and speech.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:40 No.16108193
    rolled 15 = 15

    No power use but we are orky enough that we win.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:41 No.16108195
    rolled 70 = 70

    This, then racing time later, without us participating. We'll be one of the commentators.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:45 No.16108234
    rolled 63 = 63

    Cybork needs a name.
    Also, we needs more orks. We should be mostly orky.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:53 No.16108308
    rolled 90 = 90

    Orks should start sprouting all over the place once their spores start to set in, but i agree, they're by far the best infantry choice we can take, imp guard for vehicles, tau for artillery eldar for psykers and dickery.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:54 No.16108313
    rolled 71 = 71

    The tau planet should have orks on it by the time we are ready to hunt down the Dark Eldar.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)17:57 No.16108335
    Thinking on your crew's lack of Orkiness, you decide to hold a race on Tch'tal. Brilliant! First Voxing your idea to Bubbles, you return to your quarters and have your servoskulls plan out the route, a several hundred kilometer long race to the finish line. A lawless, unregulated massacre of a race, designed to be as Orky as a race possibly can. For extra points, you decide to have it cross through several different terrains, from a dry desert plain to a frozen hellscape of a mountain range. As a prize the winner will receive extra loot, a massive excess of ale, and the honor of being known as the fastest Ork in your fleet. Your plan is foolproof!

    Ordering your servoskulls to begin sending the orders to the Tau leadership on Tch'tal, you vox Bubbles once more with the updated plan, and recommend she inform the other ships of that the Orks on board will be ashore for a while. With that done, you take control of the intercom, and announce the race, to begin in two weeks.

    Even through the wraithbone floor, you can feel the Orks shouting out in whatever the Ork equivalent of excitement it. Your entire ship seems to buzz with cries of Orkish emotions.

    What do?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)17:59 No.16108358
    rolled 95 = 95

    To prevent your orks from getting bored and killing the rest of your crew, invent the dicksquig.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)18:02 No.16108392
    rolled 18 = 18

    I hate you so much right now.

    anyways, talk with the various leaders on what tactics the dark eldar tend to use, on land and in space, offensively and defensively.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)18:04 No.16108400
    rolled 22 = 22


    Anywho learn abotu dark eldar, research the archeotech you have. Practive wraithbone molding.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)18:07 No.16108422
         File1314655652.jpg-(50 KB, 712x691, 1288347639603.jpg)
    50 KB
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)18:08 No.16108431
    rolled 92 = 92

    All this, and generally just prepare everything for the upcoming battle. More and better weapons, armor, ships, our troops need to train etc.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)18:08 No.16108436
    rolled 76 = 76

    Fine but at least lets get some tau bitches up in this.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)18:10 No.16108453
    fuck the race. call it off. load all of your orkz into one ship and crash it into a planet at max speed. let them fight it out on the surface, then collect the winners later for max orkynizz. winner ork gets to own the planet.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)18:11 No.16108459

    Why would Tau bitches need dicksquigs?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)18:14 No.16108493
    rolled 50 = 50

    Well, Tau are the weeaboo version of japan in WH40k and we all know about japanese girls and futa and such, right?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)18:17 No.16108510
    You make a compelling point.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)18:24 No.16108563
    rolled 68 = 68

    We should imbue a considerable portion of the Guardsmen with slight warp energy, so as to give them a supernatural psyker edge during battle.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)18:26 No.16108580
    rolled 8 = 8

    That sounds like a great way to cause rampant daemonic possession, chaos worship and mutation.

    I hate it already.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)18:29 No.16108616
    rolled 33 = 33

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)18:32 No.16108638
    rolled 54 = 54

    You are a moron. No.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)18:32 No.16108653
    rolled 23 = 23

    Oh, guys, this reminds me!
    When we attack Comorragh, millions of Eldar are gonna die, right? Won't that create problems with Slaneesh? Should we find some way to prepare for this, like maybe finding a way to absorb souls ourselves? We already absorbed Daemons, it can't be so hard.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)18:38 No.16108700
    rolled 48 = 48

    Afaik so long as it's in the webway slaanesh won't be able to touch their souls, which is why dark eldar live there.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)18:39 No.16108709
    rolled 29 = 29


    while the preparations for the race are underway, get the 10 most zealous Sisters of Battle and either rape/mindfuck them until they are your loyal bodyguards
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)18:40 No.16108718
    rolled 92 = 92

    Kay, bad idea. Nevermind then. Didn't know even a barely noticeable amount would be that bad.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)18:43 No.16108738
    You, ahem, spend the next two days manipulating Ork spores to create dicksquigs. Squigs made entirely of dicks. Unfortunately, they cannot survive outside of the nutrient tank you've grow them in, and therefore the galaxy at large will never witness the horrors that you have created. Looking upon them, you get a terrible feeling of dread. Somehow, you think this was a bad idea.

    In the two weeks leading up to Da Great Race, you continue to practice your wraithbone crafting. Warping pieces of wraithbone around your body like snakes, the material slithers and slides as if aware of its surroundings, moving with your form. It is a highly disturbing sight to the Tau, who aren't really used to such unnatural things. The Orks, on the other hand, find it hilarious for some reason.

    While playing around with wraithbone, you've been studying the archeotech you've come into possession of. The titanium pendant, obstinately some kind of energy shield at first glance, doesn't exhibit any of the properties of an energy shield. Try as you might, you just can't get it to activate. That is, until you shoot it with lightning. As the bolt nears the gemstone set in the black metal, it twists into the air and splits into multiple bolts, which fly each and every way before being pulled into the blood gem crystal. Assaulting it with multiple different powers, you find it to be able to defeat all of them, harmlessly dissipating the energy and then absorbing it. After several attempts, however, you manage to harm the mannequin the necklace is protecting, the device seeming to have reach its limit regarding energy absorbed. You try again an hour later, and once more the archeotech stops your psychic assault.

    The archeotech weapon, on the other hand, defies explanation. Try as you might, you cannot seem to even begin analyzing it, its solid construction preventing its innards from even being glanced upon. You've got no idea how it works, or even what powers it.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)18:43 No.16108739
    rolled 98 = 98

    we need to become space Gadhafi, let's start by making a personal bodyguard made entirely of Bolter Bitches
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)18:45 No.16108762
    Mark my words. Those dicksquigs will save our life some day.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)18:46 No.16108766
    rolled 35 = 35


    Talk to Bubbles, ask her for reports from the units that were waiting to ambush any Dark Eldar raids.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)18:46 No.16108769
    Rerolling for a poor anon.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)18:48 No.16108778
    rolled 20 = 20

    Captcha ate my roll,
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)18:51 No.16108797
    rolled 4 = 4

    I suppose those reports should be coming in soon anyway, she must know they are important to us.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)19:14 No.16109047
    rolled 14 = 14

    Bikini bolter bitches.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)19:17 No.16109073
    You decide to form a personal bodyguard of Sisters of Battle, for some reason. I don't know. Ordering the captain of one of the Imperial vessels to send over a contingent of SoB, you use the Warp to mentally condition them as their shuttle moves from the Radiant Dawn to Mork's Klaw. Upon arriving, they are greeted by a group of Tau, who are promptly beat half to death until you intervene. Recognizing you, with your mindfuckery having done its job, they take their place as your bodyguards.

    Entering the bridge with your bodyguards in tow, Bubbles runs up to you with good news.

    "One of the scout groups have captured a band of Dark Eldar, my lord. They're on their way back as we speak, with the other groups leaving their respective systems as well to return to Tch'tal."

    She frowns at the sight of the scowling Sisters of Battle. They in turn draw their weapons and hold them most threateningly.

    "Xenos bitch."

    "Grey-haired hag."

    They continue glaring at Bubbles as she informs you that the Tau rebels have lost a major battle nearby, having taken over a planet, only to be thrown from it five days later. The Tau Empire forces on the planet are no doubt extremely weak from the fighting.

    What do?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)19:21 No.16109125
    rolled 8 = 8

    Fuck with the dick tau, and get back to the race. Needs to be supah orky
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)19:23 No.16109147
    rolled 26 = 26

    First, fucking chastise the bolter bitches for being mean to Bubbles. No one but me can be mean to Bubbles!
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)19:23 No.16109150
    rolled 47 = 47

    Condition the bolter bitches better, they're supposed to be hostile to threats, not crew.

    Have our colony begin building several ships to fight against the tau empire, the rebels will need reinforcements, and the empire in turmoil means they won't be searching for us specifically.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)19:24 No.16109152
    rolled 9 = 9

    For a start, chastise the SoB for being so rude to poor bubbles.
    Then we go and stomp on those weakened tau down on that planet.
    And give bubbles a good dicking, why stop the habit of a lifetim
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)19:26 No.16109184
    rolled 47 = 47

    "Bubbles, Bolter Bitches. Go to my quarters and fuck until you have that shitty attitude out of your systems."

    Relax in your captain chair and direct additional forces to back up your scouts, just in case those Dark Eldar pull any shit.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)19:27 No.16109205
    rolled 8 = 8

    make plans to attack the The Tau Empire forces and become the "savior" of the Tau rebels, then see if any reports have come from our scouts regarding the Dark Eldar

    In the meantime, to stop animosity from the your SoB bodyguards and Bubbles, hold a contest in your cabin where the winner is determined by who fucks better
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)19:30 No.16109235
    rolled 12 = 12

    Summon the daemonspawn.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)19:35 No.16109299
    rolled 49 = 49

    Chastise bolter bitches, make it clear that Bubbles is their superior, and to be treated with respect!
    Send some ships to support rebels, but not too much, we just wanna keep the conflict going for now. We have other things to attend to for here, sadly.
    Give Bubbles a good dicking later for delivering the good news, and make her get everything ready for the return of the scouts.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)19:36 No.16109307
         File1314660974.jpg-(78 KB, 600x527, 1306533409000.jpg)
    78 KB
    rolled 77 = 77

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)19:38 No.16109328
    rolled 97 = 97

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)19:39 No.16109347
    rolled 22 = 22

    This. Then have the ships that AREN'T carrying DE go and reconquer the Tau planet that just got unconquered.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)19:39 No.16109349
    rolled 52 = 52

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)19:41 No.16109364
    rolled 21 = 21


    > implying the only true star child isn't glorious tzeentch.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)19:41 No.16109369
         File1314661277.jpg-(104 KB, 424x600, 424px-Kharn.jpg)
    104 KB
    rolled 8 = 8

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)19:41 No.16109371
    rolled 75 = 75

    Nurgle has blessed this?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)19:43 No.16109392
    rolled 54 = 54

    I am not the faggot caps locker, I just capitalized because I didn't want the quest to end with something like that. Also, rolling for chastising the SoB for being mean to bubbles.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)19:49 No.16109463
         File1314661778.png-(5 KB, 265x211, Doomguy3.png)
    5 KB
    rolled 1 = 1

    We Chastise the Bolter guards and we give CybOrk a name.

    How bout Clyde?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)19:52 No.16109494
    rolled 65 = 65

    How about Smashertron?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)19:53 No.16109516
    rolled 83 = 83

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)19:55 No.16109538
    rolled 21 = 21

    have a sexy party in our cabin with the Bolter Bitches and Bubbles to calm them down

    check reports on the scouts to see if they have gotten any Dark Eldar
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)19:56 No.16109547
         File1314662167.gif-(21 KB, 125x125, FUCKYEAR HUMANITY.gif)
    21 KB

    Or What about,

    [spoiler]He neva ask'd fo dis.[/spoiler]
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)19:58 No.16109575
    rolled 43 = 43

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)19:58 No.16109583

    this is gonna end badly isn't it
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)20:01 No.16109614
    Expressing your displeasure with your new bodyguards for being rude to your first officer, you dismiss them and begin sending a message to several of your ships. Ordering 5 Imperial Naval Vessels to assist the rebels, you remind them that they are to assist only just enough to keep the conflict going. Those ships en route to Tch'tal are to continue as normal, backing up the naval group carrying the Dark Eldar prisoners.

    While your mentally conditions pirates are confused by your orders to assist the Tau rebels, preferring to raid them for supplies instead, they soon enter the Warp anyways, traveling along its currents to the nearest rebel-held planet. With that out of the way, you suppose that's all there is to it, and retire to your cabin along with Bubbles for some fun while you await the return of the Imperial Cruisers.

    Climbing out of your bed several hours later, you accidentally push Bubbles over the edge. She continues to sleep as you exit the room for the bridge.

    In the command center, you're greeted by a Tau at Bubble's post. Saluting you, she informs you that the imperial vessels have arrived in the system, and have docked with the space station so as to imprison the Dark Eldar there. In addition, your ships have completed their assignment of carving the symbol of Nurgle into Tch'tal's moon, as you requested they do a few weeks prior. The Tau reminds you that the Ork Supa Race is in three days.

    What do?
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)20:02 No.16109624
    You're so goddamn lucky I didn't see that before I started posting.

    I'll remember this.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:03 No.16109640
         File1314662600.png-(4 KB, 213x192, ;_;.png)
    4 KB
    Please dont ;_;
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:04 No.16109648
    rolled 30 = 30

    Go interrogate the Dark Eldar. Bring chocolates and some expendable crewmembers for them to enjoy. Be nice to them, they'll never expect it.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:05 No.16109669
    rolled 67 = 67

    Literally sit around and twiddle our thumbs until the race. Also, give Bubbles a dicking.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:07 No.16109696
    rolled 4 = 4

    Oh well... I guess at least everything is fine for now...
    I suppose we should check up on our new prisoners, and also finish all the preparations for the race if they're not done yet. We need cars, TV crews, commentators, snacks and ale for everyone...
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:08 No.16109708
    rolled 88 = 88

    Command the techpriests we have to assist the Orks in preparing for the Race. They like red, the Orks like red, it's win-win.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:08 No.16109709
         File1314662916.jpg-(66 KB, 562x434, 1188163225569.jpg)
    66 KB
    rolled 54 = 54

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:09 No.16109718
         File1314662957.jpg-(73 KB, 683x684, 1314473838060.jpg)
    73 KB
    rolled 71 = 71

    begining building a supa heretek rocket wartrakk for da race
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:09 No.16109721
    rolled 86 = 86

    Dude, no dickings right now! I've got a bad feeling about this, we just rolled a 1, our dick might break!
    >> ridley-X !!PhYDVtocYzo 08/29/11(Mon)20:10 No.16109740
    rolled 35 = 35

    summon the daemonspawn.

    do it fagget.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:10 No.16109741
    rolled 44 = 44

    rollan for extra dakka
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:10 No.16109748
    rolled 100 = 100

    go interrogate and torture the Dark Eldar prisoners, bring Bubbles along so she can some revenge

    also are our Bolter Bitch bodyguard in their bikini uniform or are they in armor
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:10 No.16109750
    rolled 54 = 54

    If our dick breaks we'll just make ourselves a warp dick.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:11 No.16109766

    Kind of wish you'd gotten a 100 just to see the meltdown.

    Good enough!
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:12 No.16109772
         File1314663130.jpg-(76 KB, 239x239, AWWW YEAH.jpg)
    76 KB
    rolled 5 = 5


    Lets see if I can try again.
    And then... Space Marines get mad.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:12 No.16109778
    rolled 87 = 87

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:12 No.16109781
    I love you with a passion.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:12 No.16109782
         File1314663177.gif-(106 KB, 85x85, 1314397663621.gif)
    106 KB
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:14 No.16109800
    100 to torture Dark Eldar. Either we actually did the impossible and found a way to break them or they all fall in love.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:24 No.16109903
         File1314663893.gif-(996 KB, 305x350, 1308406077553.gif)
    996 KB

    Either way it's going to be awesome.

    Buckle in kiddos, we're about to get ALPHA PLUS AS FUCK.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)20:38 No.16110054
         File1314664734.jpg-(43 KB, 800x529, Massimo.jpg)
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    Directing the Tau to bring your ship to dock at the space station, you vox Bubbles to meet you at the boarding platform. She's already there by the time you arrive, and you and she discuss the interrogation of the Dark Eldar while waiting to go ashore. As the pressure equalizes, you inform her that you intend to torture the information out of them. She pauses and falls behind for a minute, confused.

    Silently opening the door to the station's brig, you call for the gaurds to bring the Dark Eldar to you. All of them. Within a few minutes, on hundred and fifty of the raiders are lined up, giggling and laughing at their guards, as if in on some joke nobody else could ever understand. You yourself begin laughing as you lock the door behind you, Bubbles taking a seat to watch the interrogation.

    Two hours later, nobody is laughing but you. As you continue to press down on the wound, the single Dark Eldar you'd get to break finally snaps, his vain attempts to hold in his pain being all for naught. Letting out a howl of intense, unknowable agony, you continue to electrify his immune system as tears well up in his eyes. As the raider screams the location of Comorragh in an attempt to stop the pain, you smile, and remove the electrodes from his spine with a single sweep of your hand. Waving to the Painboyz to help you, they drag the near-unconscious Eldar out of the room and put him with the others. With a small piece of chalk in your hand, you mark the one-way mirror for the one hundred and fiftieth time.

    Feeling out through the Warp, you realize that the raiders in the other room are now intensely aroused. Ew.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:43 No.16110100

    A motherfucking.

    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)20:43 No.16110112
    >you've yet to break
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:44 No.16110120
    This officially became my favorite quest Heresy.

    Also, are they now ours or what? They are all now broken in which way?
    >> ridley-X !!PhYDVtocYzo 08/29/11(Mon)20:46 No.16110138
    rolled 18 = 18


    Ask bubbles if she has anything to say on the proceedings.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:46 No.16110139
    rolled 42 = 42

    Toss the dark eldar into a blender, and prepare for da race
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:47 No.16110155
    rolled 83 = 83

    Did we get any loot when the DEldar were captured?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:49 No.16110170
    rolled 92 = 92

    Check for loot, talk to Bubbles, prepare for Comorragh invasion, as well as the race.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:49 No.16110171

    what about my question about our bodyguards, are they in "uniform" or are they in armor

    this very important
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:51 No.16110197
    rolled 42 = 42

    I'm pretty sure that after seeing our mad torturing skills, they respect us now and would love nothing more than to join us.

    But do we really want that? Let's just lock them up for now and prepare for the race. Also, let's see if Bubbles is alright. Might have been a bad idea to bring her.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:53 No.16110219

    Kill the raiders.

    Make preparations for invasion. The race should get the Orks nicely wound up and ready for a fight, we'll depart after it is held.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)20:55 No.16110247
    rolled 85 = 85


    Shit forgot my roll.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)21:05 No.16110346

    From what you've gathered from those you've tortured, Commorragh has a population of roughly a 200 billion Dark Eldar. This is a rough estimate, however.

    You've managed to loot some technologies from the Dark Eldar as well.

    Da loot:
    >30 Reaver Jetbikes
    >3 Incubus Warsuits
    >30 Wychsuits
    >120 Soultraps
    >20 Agonisers
    >3 Dark Gates
    >4 Hexrifles
    >32 Dark Blasters
    >120 Shard Carbines
    >25 Splinter Pistols
    >4 Clone Fields

    Ordering your ships to begin preparations for the raid on Commorragh, you exit the room and greet Bubbles warmly. She smiles strongly, seeming to have enjoyed watching you destroy the mental defenses of the Dark Eldar.

    "That was impressive. I've never know anyone to be able to successfully torture one of those bastards."

    Accepting her praise, you inquire as to the race. Bubbles thinks for a moment, and informs you that while the Orks have completed their own vehicles, some of the Reaver Jetbikes you found might be of use in the festivities, should you choose to allow any of the Eldar to participate.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)21:09 No.16110386
    rolled 66 = 66

    Allow the eldar, who have been faithful to you to participate. Offer to rider with Bubbles yourself.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)21:11 No.16110406
    rolled 22 = 22

    Sure, anyone who wishes can participate.

    And, 200 billion, huh... we'll need a plan for this, guys.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)21:11 No.16110412
    rolled 41 = 41

    What? On one of those?

    We're a heretek, we'll make our own speeder.
    Something redder and flashier than anything else down there.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)21:14 No.16110450
    rolled 53 = 53


    Whoever finishes first, gets a Dark Eldar slave.

    Whoever finishes last, gets a Dark Eldar slave. Without the cuffs.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)21:15 No.16110461
    rolled 85 = 85

    Plans? Hah, who needs plans when you can rain molten titanium slugs from whatever would qualify as orbit in the webway.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)21:16 No.16110472
    rolled 25 = 25

    Can we get a planet buster? Anything that will destroy it in one shot.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)21:17 No.16110489
    200 billion

    two hundred billion


    we're crazy, we're baddass. but I think even Captain Mindrape needs a plan for this one
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)21:17 No.16110493
    There is no 'orbit' in the webway. It's all one big infinite plane. Complete freedom of movement in 3 dimensions.

    Commorragh is like a pocket dimension, in that it's mostly closed off from the rest of the webway. It's very difficult to get into.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)21:18 No.16110507
    What, you want to raid a Battle Barge and grab a Cyclonic Torpedo?

    Bad plan.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)21:22 No.16110551
    Alright. So if we want to get Bubbles' family (and of course we fucking do!), we need to find out where they are first, before the actual attack. Also, can we teleport our fleet into their city past their defenses? Can we make a huge forcefield preventing them, for a time, from coming to get us, so only a small-ish local force can fight our army?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)21:26 No.16110597
    rerolling for

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)21:27 No.16110609
    rolled 7 = 7

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)21:31 No.16110649
    > 315 posts and 37 image replies omitted.
    Um, guys? We might need a new thread, we're already on page 5.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)21:31 No.16110654
    rolled 52 = 52

    Take the Jetbikes and use Ork, Tau, and Eldar tech to make the ultimate in hovercraft. Faster, harder, better in every way.

    Also with the ability to go through solid objects.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)21:35 No.16110688
         File1314668132.jpg-(40 KB, 551x380, t28a.jpg)
    40 KB
    rolled 61 = 61

    We should also add enormous tracks to our hovercraft. Tracks make everything better.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)21:37 No.16110708
    rolled 93 = 93

    If by 'tracks' you mean chainsword claws on the front that let us slice through people, then yes.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)21:51 No.16110883
    Hmm. You're right.

    Ok, this'll be the last update in this thread for now.

    You nod, deciding to allow the Eldar to race, along with anyone else who cares to. Leaving an excited Bubbles to go and pick out a Jetbike, you exit the prison block to make your way to the forge. You've got something special planned.

    For hours do the sounds of hammerfalls and welding fill the air of your forge. Dozens of workers slavishly carry pieces to and fro within the dark spaces of the factory, as your machines melt steel and mold titanium into new and heretical shapes. Twisting wires through a sleek exoskeleton, and chemically bonding steel to wraithbone, your newest creation slowly takes shape. It is truly a sight to behold. Armed to the teeth, able to move through solid rock like it wasn't even there, and faster than a round from a bolter, the monstrous hovercraft sits idly, floating, begging you to ride it into battle, and beyond.

    >Heretek Created: Supadeff Jetbike
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)21:52 No.16110909
         File1314669176.jpg-(233 KB, 1920x1080, 575831[1].jpg)
    233 KB
    rolled 66 = 66

    Modify a hover-bike to be bitchin fast and take bubbles with you during the race. Make it like an orky version of Redline with less dumbfuck robot overlords and more tits & platinum nitro.

    Also, about 50000% more orky
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)21:53 No.16110913
    Fuck YEAR!
    Let's break open some 'umies for red paint!
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)22:05 No.16111061
         File1314669931.jpg-(51 KB, 311x311, Costanza Wonka.jpg)
    51 KB
    New thread. You weren't planning on sleeping, were you?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)22:05 No.16111062
    sleep is for the flesh.

    the flesh is weak
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)22:07 No.16111079
    It's 4AM... Fuck no I'm not going to sleep yet!

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