Sir DickButt

rolled 22, 26 = 48

Wazzgar Skullbreaka.

rolled 8, 31 = 39

Orky MacSwaga

>ROUGE ORK
If'n green's da best color, why's we red, den?

Grimrok Hardgutz

>>16124664
Cuz red makes tings fasta, so'z we'z fasta, ya git!

>>16124664
CUZ WE GO FAST YA GIT

rolled 70 = 70

Magbad Snikork

rolled 9, 35 = 44

Sir skullsplinter of waagh

rolled 50, 8 = 58

>>16124675

rolled 10, 12 = 22

Krunchbite

>>16124607
Your name is Wazzgar Skullbreaka, the biggest and badde-Wait, no. You're a normal Ork, just a little smarter than the rest. You're currently residing on the planet who-the-fuck-cares-you're-a-ork, its a jungle planet with many dangerous creatures stalking anything that isn't bigger than a truck. Because of this it has been classified as a dead planet and left alone, however this has allowed a huge population of Orks to take hold and breed. It is now the home to many many Orks, you are one of these Orks. You have lived your short life up to this moment surviving in the wilderness on your own, however you had an epiphany, you realized that if you didn't harness power and glory soon you might just fade into history as a nameless ork that died for no reason. And so you set off on your journey to become the very best that noone ever was!

What shall you do?

North - Jungle
South - More Jungle
East - Some wet Jungle
West - Some dry jungle

Oi'm Kaptain Farghard Glittergob uv da gud ship Lotsa Dakka!

rolled 20, 32 = 52

>>16124758
west

rolled 39, 46 = 85

>>16124758
North

WE WILL DAKKA ACROSS THE LANDZ, SERCHIN' FAR AN' WIDE! TEACH ORKY BOYZ TO UNDERSTAND, THE POWER OF THE WAAAAGGGHHH

rolled 1, 49 = 50

>>16124758
West. We don't like moisture.

rolled 39, 41 = 80

>>16124586
WUZZGUTT DA PROPPA CHOPPA
NOW WHO'S YOU CALLIN' A GIT, YA GIT?

>>16124796

>1

rolled 17, 28 = 45

East

wez gottz to finda boyz so we cun krump them real good

>>16124783

You start heading north, the temprature is starting to slowly, Slowly drop. Orks don't really like the cold, see. However the journey pays off, you have a stroke of luck and find a corpse of a dead Ork Boy, he's wearing some scrap armor and is wielding a bolter pistol with ??? bolts. You strip the ork of his armor and wear it yourself, you also equip the bolter.

You hear something rustle in the bushes around you.

You...

rolled 9, 30 = 39

>>16124884

KRUMP IT REALZ GUD

rolled 20, 18 = 38

>>16124884
Lob it's head off and yell at it for muckin about

rolled 8, 13 = 21

>>16124884
CRUMP IT!!

rolled 23, 14 = 37

>>16124884
DAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKA
TEST OUT OUR NEW WEEDY SHOOTA

rolled 18, 50 = 68

>>16124884
PICK UP DA DED BOY AN' CHUKK EM AT DA BUSH!

Roll dem bones.

GIVE EM MORE DAKKA

rolled 25, 3 = 28

TIME TO GET SOME TEEF! DAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKA

Well boyz, lookz like da way ta go iz un-ani-mus

>>16124913
You are startled by the sudden movement behind you, you spin around and aim your bolter at the bushes, "OI, WHATS DAT NOISE?!" Your hand shakes abit. You see what looks like the top of a ork head, you aim at the head and start unloading your bolter, it takes three shots before the enemy responds.

"OI OI OI, STOP SHOOTYING ME! ITS ME BOSS!" From the bushes springs up the ork, you cease fire, realizing you didn't even hit him once you face palmed in shame.

"WHO'RE YOU?!"
"Donts you remember me boss? its me, Teethcraka!"
"I dont know any 'Toothcracka'!"
"But we killed a toothworm togethor, don't you remember?!"

You aren't sure who this Ork is, but his face seems familiar to you..

You...

CHOPPA DA BUSH AND ANY FIN DAT THINKS IT CAN HIDES FROM US

rolled 9, 25 = 34

>>16125004
KRUP THE GIT IN THE HEAD AND REMIND HIM WHOZ THE BOSSEST BOSS BY GIVIN' HIM THE DAKKA

rolled 8, 50 = 58

>>16125004
TEETHCRACKA! WE GOTZ TA GET SUM BOYZ TOGETHER AN GET SUM LOOT!

>>16125004
GIVE DA GIT SOME DAKKA SO WE CAN GET TA CRUMPIN UMMIES

rolled 15, 12 = 27

>>16125004
BROFIST 'IM,WES A KOOL BOSS LOIK DAT

Venerate the Immortal Emperor

rolled 35, 1 = 36

>>16125103

>>16125086
"I remembers youze now Teethcraka, where youve been??"

"Boss, i've been hiden from tha blackskulls, theys killen all the orky tribes around here!!"

"WHAT?! WHEN HAVE THEY STARTED?!"

"About a few moon-"

Suddenly you hear gunshots to the far west.

You...


>Warband: 2

rolled 42, 38 = 80

>>16125124

ASKS IF TEETHCRACKER KNOWS OF MORE LADS N DAKKA AROUND TO KRUMP THESE RUNTY GROT LOVEAS

rolled 20, 7 = 27

>>16125124
conquer them for the greater good

rolled 35, 29 = 64

>>16125124
LEG IT TO DA FIGHTEN O' COURSE

>>16125144
"Oi teethcraka, that sounds like trouble, if we wants to survive wese gonna have to get some boyz! know where any boyz are?!"

"...Hmm....OH I GOTS IT BOSS! FOLLOWS ME!"

Meanwhile the gunshots grow louder and louder. Teethcraka leads you north towards a bunch of caves...

Inside you find twenty, maybe thirty weak looking Orks, they're equiped with a bolter and a axe and some hide armor but thats it.

"WHAT?? IS THIS IT?! IM GONNA HAVE TO MAKE DO WITH THESE GITS?!"

One of the boyz looks at you with an angry look, "OI WHOSE YOU CALLEN A GIT?!"

You...

rolled 50, 32 = 82

>>16125200
Krump dat moufy git

>>16125200
All those orks have bolters?

>>16125253
Orks like looting humie guns.

rolled 45, 15 = 60

>>16125200

KRUMP IM REEL GUD AND SHOW DA REST O DAY BOYZ OZ BOSS!

>>16125253
>>16125282
I think he's using ancient fluff, back when squigs were tyranids and all orks used bolters.

>>16125216

"I'S THE BOSS I'S CALL YOU WHATEVAH I WANTS YAH SORRY GROT!!"

The ork is enraged and jumps at you swinging his axe, you lunge at him and tackle him to the ground, you pin him to the ground and eat his eyes raw, the Ork screams in agony.

You get up and stomp the gits head, breaking his skull and killing him. The rest of the boyz are terrified of you.

"AND THATS WHY THEY CALL ME WAZZGAR SKULLBREAKA, YAH GITS."

>Warband: 22

>Current Army Composition

>Wazzgar Skullbreaka
>Teethcraka
>10 Ork Boyz (Bolt Pistols, Axes)

You...

rolled 48, 34 = 82

>>16125361

LIZEN UP YEW GITS, DA BLACKSKULLZ BE COMIN DIS WAY WIF LOTS O BOYZ AND DERE LOOKIN FER A FOIGHT. WEZ GONNA LEG IT TA GET SUM MORE BOYZ, KOME BAK ERE AND KRUMP THE LOT OF EM REEL GOOD LIKE!

WAAAAAAAAAAGH!

rolled 49, 31 = 80

It's time ta find all dem gitz whut be krumpin our boyz.

>>16125378
>I don't know about the subject matter, therefore, I should write about it.
Not saying this is going to turn out badly or anything. Not like you could screw up orks.

rolled 9, 42 = 51

>>16125361
Take on dem ova boyz

(also, we've got shootas not bolters, only difference is ours don't' blow up as much when they hit things)

>>16125378
Then they should have sluggas and axes.

rolled 10, 9 = 19

>>16125400
Actually, we've got sluggas not shootas.

>only difference is ours don't' blow up as much when they hit things
Not if every ork on the planet believes we're using bolters.

rolled 36, 23 = 59

>>16125435
Choppas

>>16125395
"ALRIGHT YA WORTHLESS GITS WE'RE GONNA LEG IT TO THOSE BLACKSKULL WEAKLINGS, AND WHEN WE GET THERE WE GONNA SLAUGHTER EVERY LAST ONEUVUM!!"

The warband responds with excited warcries.

You and your group start moving west to the last place you heard gunshots. You search for hours and eventually find a battle ground full of dead orks. You...

Sluggas and Choppas*


>>16125395
Now yah see thats not entirely true, i've read quite abit about them online and a friend that plays 40k told me about them.
I'm just not a expert on the matter. haters ganna hate.

>>16125361
Eh Boss you gots yer numbahs mixed up!
10+2 is'unt 22 Boss

rolled 19, 40 = 59

>>16125526
SHUDDAP YA GIT, DA BOSS SAYZ WE GOTZ 22 WE GOTZ 22.

DAMN SMARTBOYZ THINK DEY KNOWS EVERYTHING

rolled 23, 10 = 33

>>16125558
YOU WASTED YER DIFE YOU MOUFIE GIT

ANYWAYZ,

IT'Z TIME FOR SUM PROPPA LOOTIN BOYZ!

rolled 27, 36 = 63

>>16125518
LOOTZ EVARAFING AND YELLZ REAL LOUDZ TO SCAREZ ANY HIDEY GITZ

>>16125590
You order the warband to start looting the bodies, you're done by nightfall and all of the boyz have found better weapons. However they are starting to get hungry, and as a result: unruly.

(On a side note I fail at math, I think trying to think like an Ork actually lowered my IQ to 0)

>Army Composition
>Wazzgar Skullbreaka
>Teethcraka
>10 Boyz (Choppas, Sluggas)

>3 Boyz can become Burna Boyz
>6 Boyz can become Shoota Boyz

>Warband: 12

rolled 35, 28 = 63

>>16125666
NO BOSS! YOU'ZE WAZ ROIT! YOU SAYZ THERE WAS 20 UR 30 BOYZ IN THE GROUP AND YOU'ZE ONLY KRUMPED ONE!

ALSO, KRUMP A BOY FOR TAKING SO LONG TA GET LOOTIN. WE'ZE GOT TO SHOW WE'ZE THE BOSS.

>>16125708
The boyz start fighting among themselves, you wake up the next morning to find that three of them are badly beaten.

"ALRIGHT YAH GITS, WHO DID IT??"
Noone says anything, you are enraged, how are you expected to lead a waagh if you're suffering casualties before the battle even starts?! You walk over to a boy and shoot him point blank in the head with your slugga, this puts the rest of the boyz back in their place...For now.

You keep moving west with your warband until you come across a walled-off encampment, it seems small enough that you could raid it with no problems...

You...

>Army Composition
>Wazzgar Skullbreaka
>Teethcraka
>9 Boyz (Choppas, Sluggas)

>3 Boyz can become Burna Boyz
>6 Boyz can become Shoota Boyz

>Warband: 11

rolled 17, 17 = 34

>>16125666
We'z gots ta have da best bitz

Dem we'z got ta find some squigly beasts.

rolled 19, 50 = 69

>>16125801
FOIND SOME SQIUGS!

rolled 28, 21 = 49

>>16125801
WUT KIND O WALLZ THEY BE?

IF THEY IS UN-ORKY WALLZ MADE A WOOD WE CAN GET SOME BURNA BOYZ

BUT, IF THEY MADE OF BETTA STUFF WE NEEDZ SOME LOOTAS

rolled 4, 28 = 32

>>16125801

SQUIGZ IZ GUD FO KIKAN AN EATAN

rolled 35, 17 = 52

>>16125850
YA GIT
WE'ZE NEEDZ TA FEED DA BOYZ AND>>16125815
WOULDA GOT US A NOICE 'ARI SQUIG TOO!

>>16125850
The wall seems to be made out of junk pieces of metal and bits of wood, it could probably burn if we really wanted it to...

Shall we raid the camp?

>Army Composition
>Wazzgar Skullbreaka
>Teethcraka
>9 Boyz (Choppas, Sluggas)

>3 Boyz can become Burna Boyz
>6 Boyz can become Shoota Boyz

(To upgrade simply say "># X's Upgrade To Y)

>Warband: 11

rolled 14, 23 = 37

>>16125893
YOU STUPID GROT
DAT PLACE IS BOUND TA HAVE SOME SQUIGS IN IT! AND IT'Z GONNA HAVE SOME GOOD LOOTIN TA BOOT!

rolled 30, 1 = 31

THE BOYS IS ROIT. WE NEEDZ SOME SQUIGS! WE MIGHT EVEN FIND SOME MORE LADS!`

rolled 2, 43 = 45

>>16125920
WE'Z TAKE DA NIOSTEST SHOOTA

DEN GIVE OTHER OVA ONES TO SOME BOYZ (UPGARDE 5)
GIVE TEEFCRAKA A BURNA DEN GIVE OVA TWO TO DA QUICKEST BOYZ

rolled 16, 19 = 35

>>16125920

KILL 'EM ALL, LOOT EVERYFIN'! DERE'S PLENTY A FOOD FOR DA BOYZ IN DERE!

WAAAAGH!

rolled 28, 21 = 49

oI YA GITZ 'OH COMEZ WE AIN'T A STORMBOY YET?

>>16125952
You start planning to raid the camp, but before you do that you must organize the warband, a mindless swarm would probably mean death in this situation.


>(Organize an army to field...)
>Army Composition
>Wazzgar Skullbreaka (Shoota, Choppa)
>Teethcraka (Burna, Choppa)
>2 Boyz (Choppas, Sluggas)
>5 Shoota Boyz (Shootas)
>2 Burna Boyz (Burnas

>Warband: 11

>>16126150

(Template)

rolled 40, 4 = 44

>>16126150
> a mindless swarm would probably mean death in this situation.
THAT IS HOW ORKS WORK.

NO THANK YOU SIR.

GOOD DAY.

rolled 26, 45 = 71

>>16126150
WE NEEDZ A WEEDY GIT TA TELLZ US WOT IS IN DERE.

IF WEZ JUS BURN IT DOWN WEZ LOOZE DA BASE FOR LOOTIN

>>16126166
>Mindless swarm mode
>Break through the wall
>Ten burna boyz behind wall
>Everyone dead
>wellfuck.jpg

rolled 41, 48 = 89

>>16126227
>ORKY MODE
>KRUMP DA WALL
>KRUMP DA BOYZ
>LOOT
>RINSE AND REPEAT

rolled 42, 33 = 75

>>16126238
LOIK DA BOSS SAYZ DEN

rolled 34, 20 = 54

>>16126227

OI FINK WE NEED TA SHOW DESE BLACKSKULLS WHO DA BIG ORK IS IN DESE PARTS.

BURN IT GOOD BOYS!

>>16126222
>>16126222
You give one of the boyz the job of infiltrating the camp and taking a look at whats inside, it takes him one whole day but when he comes back he bears good news.

"BOSS, THEY GOTZ ALOTTA CAGED BOYZ IN THERE, AND THEY GOT ABUNCHA BURNAS AND SHOOTAS, AND SUM KILLY MACHINE, DEY ALSO GOT SOME SQUIGS, BUT THEY HAVE MORE SHOOTA BOYZ THAN US."

You feel abit demoralized by the news, you're not sure what this 'killy machine' is but it doesn't sound good...

rolled 2, 50 = 52

>>16126150


YUZ GO DERE AN YU GOZ DERE. WHILZ YOUZ IZ HAKAN AND BURNAN, WE BE SHOOTAN DA ONZ DAT SHOWZ DERE HEDZ!

rolled 36, 7 = 43

>>16126366

crump the boy back upside the head and tell him he's our new kommando.

rolled 50, 45 = 95

>>16126376
MAH PLAN WAZ BRILL I TELLZ YA

rolled 43, 9 = 52

The fuck OP? We rolled higher. Not our fault you won't be orky.

Fine, you git.

WE'ZE NEEDZ TO USE SOME BRUTAL KUNNIN HERE! I SAY WE DIG A BIG TUNNEL UNDERNEEF THE CAMP AND SNEAK IN AT NIGHT.

>>16126383
ALSO, DIS.

>>16126227
strongly suspect that you are in fact Heresy.

>>16126383
>>16126392

You hatch a brilliant plan to get the jump on the enemy, instead of burning through the wall, which could potentially take hours and give the enemy time to prepare, you order the boyz to dig a tunnel into the enemy camp, while be an unorthadox move, it is affective nonetheless. Your warband is now inside the camp, they spot a killa kan. You walk up to it, it's not working. Theres a red button and a green button, which do you press?

rolled 32, 34 = 66

>>16126491
GREEN IS DA BEST

SIDES WE DONE NEED IT TA GO FASTER ROIGHT NOW

>>16126491
HAHA OH WOW, WE FUCKING DUG A TUNNEL INTO THEIR BASE CARTOON STYLE!!

>>16126491
Because I'm anal like that, I hope you know killa kan pilots are surgically and irrevocably implanted into the things, and that they aren't something you can just hop into, OP.

rolled 35, 41 = 76

OI, MAYBE WE CAN MAKE DA KAN GET TA KILLIN THEIR OWN BOYZ, DATTAD BE A ROIGHT LAFF.

Press the red button.

>>16126500
You press the green button because, why not. And the killa kan activates, you can't see a entrance anywhere but keep looking, the killa kan starts to move. It looks at the boyz around it, "Uh, boss, whys that thing looken at us?"

"SHUT UP YOU LOUSY GIT, I'M WORKING HERE."

The killa kan then suddenly extends its left sawblade/arm and cuts a shoota boy in half. You look at the corpse and then the killa kan before shouting "KILL IT BOYZ KILL IT!" Within seconds the killa kan is swarmed by boyz.

>>16126525
>why would you do that

>im heading to bed guys, another thread be up thomorrow around the same time.