Futanari.

A future MANN.

female~

Given the choice, /tg/ quest protagonists are always girls. So I pick boy.

FUCK THE MAINSTREAM

>>16298401
Fuck Yes!

I've always wanted to see a quest with this.

We haven't stolen a set of genitalia yet, so I'll go with "N/A".

>>16298423
Glad to see someone else does, too.

Boy!

rolled 16 = 16

>>16298412
>>16298418
>>16298420

Democracy (And Good Taste) votes for MALE.

In the future, decisions will be made by the lowest on a d10 roll, taking the first 3 votes into consideration.

>>16298447
>ignores futa

Fuck you, cunt.

rolled 7 = 7

>>16298447
But I almost forgot! We must decide which fine person is introducing you to your new profession.


Miss Serkei is a fine Russian girl, and by fine you mean incredibly terrifying. She views herself as your adoptive older sister, and responds to threats to your person with horrifying, violent force. You still remember that moonlit night when she popped out a vagrants eyes with her thumbs for trying to steal your ratty, empty wallet. Her father is a fine Con-Maker, and though the anger issue seems to be hereditary, he has treated you well. She is quite kind to you, though she is six years your senior.

OR

Sir Anthony is a rather prissy young gentleman who views you as a pet project of sorts. Though he is amiable, friendly, and generally nice to you, you can't help but feel that you're just another of his social experiments. However, whenever you get to stay at his home, you eat and live luxuriously. His father is a startlingly obese minor noble, and his business is in the buying and selling of Con-Men.

>>16298469
Russian chick.

rolled 4 = 4

>>16298469
Russian chick.

>>16298469
helga da russian bitch

rolled 9 = 9

>>16298469
Seconding Russian chick.

>>16298496
>>16298507
Anything against Miss Serkei as your best friend?

rolled 18 = 18

I would guess not!
Only two last questions and we can get started.

First: WHAT is your NAME
Secondly:

Exactly what are you like?
You may assign 15 points between these 3 stats, not exceeding 10 in any.

Grit! The art of physical and mental STRENGTH. Used for willpower and strength-related tasks.
Quickness! The art of mental and physical SPEED. Used for fast-talking, lying, running, dextrous things, etc.
Charm! The art of mental SKILL! Used for diplomacy, managing your Con-Men, and manipulating others.

You will attempt to roll UNDER these stats when attempting strenuous activity that you could not achieve without a risk of failure of success with penalties beyond a slap on the wrist. For example: Lifting a box would not require a Grit Roll. Resisting the charms of a woman who aims to drug you and sell you on the open market? That would require a roll.

rolled 10 = 10

>>16298525
We detest her.

rolled 2 = 2

>>16298547
Name: Clifford Henderichson Wallerwalt IV

10 Charm, 5 Quickness, 0 Grit.

rolled 15 = 15

>>16298557
If there is nothing opposing this when I return from grabbing a snack, we'll be going with Clifford Henderichson Wallerwalt the Fourth!

>>16298549
No, we don't

We rather like her

rolled 10 = 10

>>16298577
Stats are fine, change name to William Richards

rolled 9 = 9

>>16298557
I like the name but I think we should switch Quickness and Charm stats.

10 quick and 5 charm.

We are going to make Con-men, right and I think we need good quickness to make them.

Our shitty strength will have to be alleviated by our con-men

>>16298557
I agree with the name, but would suggest 5 in each stat.

rolled 4 = 4

So everyone likes 0 grit, though, right?

Maybe a happy medium of 7 charm, 7 quickness, and 1 grit?

>>16298631
I find this agreeable.

How's this sound?

8grit
4quickness
3charm

>>16298631
Seconded

rolled 4 = 4

Taking everything into consideration, I believe we'll be going with...

Final Statblock!

Name: Clifford Henderichson Wallerwalt IV
Charm: 7
Quickness: 7
Grit: 1

Wealth: 5 shiny coppers.

Minions!

Miss Serkei: Loyalty Level: BEST FRIEND
Scrappy Pup: Loyalty Level: GOOD DOG. SECOND BEST FRIEND.

Now, if no one has any objections, I'll begin typing up the scene proper.

rolled 1 = 1

>>16298651
Grit sucks.

2 grit max.

>>16298683
Can this be our next Grit check roll?

rolled 17 = 17

Like every day, you begin your morning routine by sliding out from a cocoon of ratty, filthy blankets and checking to make sure that you weren't stabbed or stolen from in the night. You idly scratch at the familiar and patchy-haired head of your loving pup, who you've never given a name. You've never needed to. As he half-heartedly barks, you get up and don your jacket and pants. You are to meet Miss Serkei in an hour, and you also know that she's threatened to break your legs if you're late. She said it nicely though! If that counts for anything.

What will we do this fine morning before heading off to her not-so-humble home?

>>16298677
Roll it, mate!
Gimme that bleedin' story.

rolled 7 = 7

>>16298727
Put on my jockstrap and cup.

>>16298727
Go to the bathroom (or whatever we use as a bathroom), do our best to comb our hair, maybe find something to eat if we know where to find it.

>>16298727

Prepare our inventory of [SHIT TO CON PEOPLE WITH] and gather anything we might suspect we will need to satisfy the SADISTIC WHIMSY of our 'friend'.

A knife, if possible. Maybe some rope. You know the drill.

Name our dog "Dog".

do whatever we do to survive for another hour and then meet our friend

rolled 12 = 12

>>16298765
You put on your GROIN PROTECTION PLATE underneath your trousers. You don't care if it produces an unsightly bulge, you simply need the protection and gentle lift it provides.
>>16298772
You make a filthy corner mildly filthier, run your fingers through your greasy hair, and retrieve a stale sandwich from your pocket.
>>16298788
You retrieve a small length of rope and tie it around your waist as a belt, as none of your pockets are deep enough to carry it's length. You also hide away a shiv you carved from a can.

Your CURRENT INVENTORY is

1x Piece of SHORT ROPE
1x FLIMSY SHIV of VAGRANT SLICING
2x SHINY BUTTONS
5x COPPER COINS

>>16298814
Your Dog responds to it's brand new name by farting happily. Or maybe it's sad? You really can't tell. He's less a dog, and more a diseased blob of mangy flesh...

That took you 15 minutes! You gauge that it will take 10 minutes to walk to her home from here. Will you do anything else?

rolled 8 = 8

>>16298841
Practice kissing my pillow.

>>16298841
try to master our skills at sneakiness.
After a bit of training go to her house while trying to be as obscured as possible.

>>16298841
Nope, let's head off.

rolled 1 = 1

>>16298891
Seconding this.

rolled 20 = 20

>>16298865
You sloppily makeout with your pillow for the next 5 minutes. You don't care who's watching.
>>16298891
That will require a QUICKNESS roll!

rolled 10 = 10

>>16298912
Quickness~

rolled 10 = 10

>>16298865
Ew,

nooo

rolled 2 = 2

>>16298912
Wait a sec.

What kind of die are we using anyway?

rolled 3 = 3

>>16298923
You trip over a glass bottle on the way there and scratch your face up on the pavement. You are now bleeding from a few minor cuts. The walk there is relatively uneventful, and you knock on the door to Miss Serkeis establishment. She answers swiftly, and hurries you inside.

"What happened to your face?" She asks, a tone of genuine concern to her voice as she takes your jacket and begins preparing tea.

>>16298955
A d10, fine sir!

rolled 9 = 9

>>16298955
Pretty sure dat ninja said d10.

rolled 9 = 9

>>16298966
"A gang of cats attacked me!" I say, horrified. "They were circling me and.. oh.. it was awful.."

rolled 12 = 12

>>16298978
"Oh you poor thing..." She says, pouring the tea and enveloping you in a rib-crushing hug. You're pretty sure something important popped as she let go, and you drink her tea carefully, wincing in pain. It's rather delicious yet overly sweet, as possible.
"I'm gonna get something from my room, ok? We'll leave in like, five minutes."

What will you do in those five minutes?

rolled 9 = 9

>>16298978
Heh, I was going to just tell what happened but this is more amusing.

>>16298966

So is the whole "con men never showing their face" in effect? I need to know for draw fagging purposes.

rolled 4 = 4

>>16299033
Attempt to stare into her room.

rolled 8 = 8

>>16299050
It is in FULL EFFECT sir. But you are not yet a Con-Man!

rolled 3 = 3

>>16299033
Think back on your failure to act sneaky, think on your mistakes and strive to improve.

Other than that, look around the room.

>>16299082
Awesome! Well, now we wait for our tutor to return.

rolled 6 = 6

>>16299084
The room is a rather small, traditional affair. A wood-burning stove on the corner, an ice-box in the wall, and many many cupboards. It's the living room, and due to the architecture, most of the rooms in this house are actually upstairs for some odd reason. You think deep and hard on your mistakes, and realize that your problem was that you weren't paying attention to what you were doing with your feet!

>>16299081
...That's going to require a QUICKNESS roll, good sir.

Attempt to PONDER why it is that you have been called here.

Acquire a [DECK OF CARDS] at the earliest possible convenience so that you can practice your sleight of hand while also looking awesome when you have time to kill.

rolled 4 = 4

jsut wait for her to get back

rolled 18 = 18

It seems /tg/ ate my post. Hold on a second...

rolled 1 = 1

>..That's going to require a QUICKNESS roll, good sir.

Umm.... kay

rolled 6 = 6

>>16299184
Oh boy.

Just make sure to not stare there for too long

rolled 2 = 2

>>16299184
You sneak masterfully up the normally creaky stairs up outside her room, and pry the door open ever so slightly. You peer into her room, and see that your fine female friend is entirely topless!

And polishing a rather large gun.

She doesn't seem to have noticed you yet.

rolled 10 = 10

>>16299213
GTFO (cautiously) back to the living room!

Sit back at the table ans sip tea.

>>16299213
Back away NOT AN OUNCE LESS SNEAKILY and return to our previous position.

rolled 7 = 7

>>16299246
and act all natural

rolled 7 = 7

>>16299246
>>16299257
You tear your gaze away from her large...tracts of arable land and sneak downstairs. The stairs creak slightly, but otherwise you seem to have been unnoticed. Sitting at the table, sweating profusely, you sip at the delicious, delicious tea and try to act naturally.

Miss Serkei stomps down the stairs carrying the gun, a grim expression on her face. She's wearing a rather trim looking mens suit. You had no idea she was a cross-dresser!

Well, you sort of thought she'd be. She's always acted rather butch.

"Clifford, now, before we go to see my father...where are those cats you said scratched your face?"

aight, Imma go to sleep now.

Thanks wormwood... when will you continue?

rolled 2 = 2

>>16299309
Tomorrow from 7 PM EST to 11 PM EST, and then again on Friday, hopefully throughout the weekend.

>>16299306
NO NEED to go after those affable little scamps! It was our own fault for being unable to take them on ourselves. Really now Serkei, you need to let us deal with our own problems sooner or later or we'll never learn to fend for ourselves.

rolled 6 = 6

>>16299341
She glares at you, and puts the gun down on a dresser. She retrieves a wad of cotton from her purse and dabs at the still bleeding cuts on your face, and embarrassingly, she licks her thumb and rubs away some of the dirt and grime on your face.

What is she, your mother?

"Now Clifford, you need to be on your best behavior. I'm rather annoyed that we didn't have time to give you a bath. You're absolutely FILTHY. Now, you need to remember three rules when talking to my father. Don't speak unless spoken to. He'll be asking questions, but don't volunteer anything other than what he asks for directly. Secondly, be polite. Accept anything he offers, and eat and drink whatever slop he has the servants bring in, regardless of how disgusting it is. And third, don't bring up Germans. Whatever you do, do NOT bring up Germans."

She says this with utmost seriousness as she continues to clean your face with a kerchief in a most matronly manner. Her hands are painfully firm as she does so.

rolled 12 = 12

I apologize, but I just noticed the hour and I have a few art assignments to be finishing up by tomorrow. If the thread is still here, I'll pick things up tomorrow at 7 PM, as promised.

It's been fun running this again. Thanks.

>>16299509
It's been fun to have you back again!

rolled 5 = 5

so wait. why didn't we touch her breasts?

rolling for tomorrow to reach out and fondle.

>>16299601
Because she's umm... a psycho?