SUMMARY:
Old thread here: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16421732
WoodsQuest started out as something fairly typical and turned into something completely different and very /tg/.
It almost didn't get there, however, due to some bitching about starting stats.
I got in a hurry and forgot to thank that one anon from last thread for re-explaining the stats rolling to people, so: thanks, anon.
>Be a peasant hunter in Greece, 3.5e crunch, unofficial name is "Ogg" I guess.
>Be really, really stupid
>Find a silver ring, it's definitely not normal, take a trip to Athens
>Back in woods, become that hunter who walked in on Artemis bathing. You startled the witch!
>Survive through a combination of pure luck, pure luck, and pure luck
>Also, now you're bros with Dionysus and you ride a wine-guzzling vine beast
>Encounter Demeter, dat fertility
>Survive group counseling with three gods, also become a Wine Cleric. Return home to wife.
>That nymph belonged to Artemis. Nice job breaking her, hero.
>nymph in your bed, INAPPROPRIATE!
>nymph with "leafkini" in vineyard (wat the feck /tg/), somehow better
>still somehow in your wife's good graces, the infinite wineskin helped I'm sure

CURRENT SITUATION:
Gods:
>Artemis(Last time you saw her, she was Unfriendly. May be downright Hostile now.)
>Dionysus(Helpful. You two are bros for life, he saved your ass. He's also god of insanity just fyi, so him and your low WIS should get along just fine.)
>Demeter(Friendly. She didn't stand out next to a completely naked Artemis, but now that you think about it, she's certainly not bad either.)
People:
>Athens Guards(Neutral. Yes, they are on the lookout for a really ugly trapper trying to get into the upper city. You're now a fairly handsome rural cleric- visiting Athens.)
>Wife(Married. Worships and is slightly favored by Demeter. Grateful to you for providing for her and sharing your good fortune now that you have some to share. Still thinks you intend to sleep with that nymph, though. Way to roll a 1 there guys.)
>The Youngest Nymph(Friendly. Grateful to you for taking her out of your trap after she fell into it so clumsy. Kind of over the hating men thing now, but still wants to be one of Artemis' nymphs. Has broken DA RULES. Currently lives in your vineyard.)
>Huey, Duey, and Louie(Dogs are people too. Huey is the best tracker and pointer and the oldest, Duey is the fastest runner and is god-tier, Louie is the maimiest, killiest, savagest, and is also Sauron.)
>Tiberius(Neutral. For now, he doesn't know you exist, and that's how you want to keep it. See below or previous thread for details.)

Possessions:
>A small cottage
>A vineyard in front of your small cottage (It produces 2d8 ripe bunches of grapes per day, 1d4 per day during winter)
>The little bit of land around your house (You're actually poaching on the land of the retired centurion, Tiberius)
>A pretty decent bow and plenty of arrows
>A hunting knife
>Zero coney pelts (you sold them all)
>Five bunches of grapes (nymph fodder mainly is what you were thinking, also they have slight medicinal qualities, so far you've tried a grape poultice to heartening effect.)
>A VERY nice lawn ornament (wink wink)
>Food enough for your wife, your dogs, and you to last about a week, mostly bread and stuff
>Magically refilling wineskin. (Up to twenty skinfuls per day) [+2 CHA for 30 minutes if you drink a full wineskin]
>An awesome wine-colored outfit.

STATS AND STUFF:
(Not going strictly by the rules, also I changed some of this stuff from last thread just for sanity...so sorry about inconsistencies.)
CLERIC 1, CG, HUMAN, MALE, 30 (Your wife is late twenties btw, "old woman" was just an expression. Picture is you if you were a little older and wearing same basic outfit but a little more robey and deep purple.)
STR: 14 (+2)
DEX: 10 (+0)
CON: 11 (+0)
INT: 9 (-1)
WIS: 6 (-2) [A lot of you conscientiously abided by these stats last thread, and it was a blast. Let's do that again!]
CHA: 6+6 (+1) [It was instantly raised to 12 when you became the cleric of Dionysus. Can't have an ugly/tongue-tied cleric, can he?]
Feats/Traits:
>Alertness (From hunter NPC class) - +2 to Spot and Listen, will be handy.
>Toughness (Human bonus feat, it's why you're a good hunter) - Brings total HP to 11, although chances are we won't be doing the math most of the time
>Weapon Proficiency(Bows and Daggers)
>Weapon Proficiency(Empty Cask/Wine Jar) (Utterly bullshit extra proficiency to make things go smoothly) - Barfights anyone?
>Weapon Focus(Empty Cask/Wine Jar) (Cleric bonus feat) - +1 to all strikes made with empty bottles and the like.
>Ambidextrous with Empty Cask/Wine Jar, no penalties whatsoever for dual-wielding.

STATS AND STUFF(CONT)
(Enough greentext already)
Skills:
Balance 2 +0
Bluff 1 +1
Climb 2 +0
Craft(Brewing) 12 (-1)
Craft(Trapping/Trapmaking) 2 (-1)
Handle Animal 4 (+1)
Heal 2 (-2)
Hide 2 (+0)
Intimidate 2 (+1)
Jump 2 (+2)
Knowledge(local) 4 (-1)
Knowledge(religion) 4 (-1)
Listen 4 (-2)
Move Silently 4 (+0)
Profession(Hunter) 4 (-2)
Profession(Vigneron/Vintner) 6 (-2) [A vigneron is someone who specializes in placement and construction of vineyards. This may be helpful, you only got one freebie vineyard from Dionysus. Vintner is the harvesting/brewing aspect of making wine.]
Profession(Vintner) 6 (-2)
Search 4 (-1)
Speak Language(Common)
Spot 4 (-2)
Survival 4 (-2)
Swim 2 (+2)
Tumble 2 (+0)
Use Rope 2 (+0)

MAGICS:
DOMAIN SPELLS(You get THREE! Chaos, Luck, and...WINE! You still have to pick just one per day, though.)
Protection from Law (1 min/level. +2 AC/saves vs lawfuls, also immune to mind control and lawful summoned creatures, unless you attack said creatures)
Entropic Shield (1 min/level. Range attacks against you have a 20% miss chance. This INCLUDES Artemis' own arrows.)
Create Wine(Up to two gallons of fine wine)
NORMAL SPELLS/SPELL-LIKE ABILITIES
Luck Out Of Shit, Like Without Even Trying (Unpredictable, cast subconsciously)
Cure/Inflict Minor Wounds 3/day
Three orisons/day, anything from 3.5e handbook that doesn't clash with alignment. This includes all wine orisons known.
One 1st level spell/day, same idea.
WINE SPELLS KNOWN
Create Wine (Orison)
Changewater (Orison, three guesses what it changes water into)
Create Vine (Orison, creates 10 ft/level of vine, can be used as if hempen rope)
Create Grapes (1st level. One bunch of grapes per casting.)
Tripvine (1st level. Vine grows under/around someone's foot, tripping them. DC 12 Reflex save (+1 per caster level) to avoid.)
Vine Wall (3rd level. Large, thick wall of vines. Break DC 40, hardness 2, HP 30)
Vine Tie (4th level. Entangles one creature in vines. Uses two full turns to cast unless vines are already present, which makes it a standard action. Break DC 25, DC 18 Reflex save to avoid.)
River of Wine (5th level. Changes a river or stream to fine wine for 1 hr/caster level)
Flight of the Wine God (10th level. Vines grow around your arms and sprout out into wings made of grape leaves. Allows flying 40 ft/second, average. Lasts 1 minute/level.)

[OOC NOTE: So I'm thinking of kind of making this a double life kind of quest. Back here you still hunt, look for oddities in the woods, and keep your wife, nymph, and dogs happy...but when you roam with Dionysus you meet and negotiate with gods, mostly watch and perhaps later take part in epic power sturggles, and generally have fun with the Greek pantheon. I've just started planning and I don't want to give everything away right off the bat, but the overarching metaquest I'm thinking of involves Demeter, Dionysus trying to prove he's significant, and some continued tensions with Artemis and Apollo. Also there's this one other cosmic figure I want to bring in as an important NPC...a TOTAL badass in my opinion. Interested, or would you guys rather I stick strictly to a foresty/hunting thing with just a sidedish of RUNNIN AND WININ?]

Ghost quest is up? Thank you kind sir, see you there.

Also, props for hosting and playing a quest at the same time.

rolled 11 = 11

>>16434301
Do whatever is most fun for you, OP.

>>16434316
Not sure if it is but it will be, he promised me that yesterday.

Guess I may as well get started then. I'll wait five more minutes to let people catch up on stuff.

>>16434301
I like the gods thing. We're much too powerful right now for just hunting, I think.
Also fuck yeah WoodsQuest!

Alright, let's get to it! You have brought your lovely nymph some flowers, and also that mythical creature in your vineyard some berries.
Suddenly it strikes you that this nymph is the one who was sent to wash off the ring before, and she had a leaf package in her hand.

Hey, I don't blame you for forgetting the first time around, she was injured, scared, and also naked.

But really, this could be either very good or very bad, depending on how you look at it. That ring contains some of Athena's power, and has proven to also be able to shield its wearer from some of her devices. When your wife wore it, however, it caused her to take on some of Athena's personality as well. You frankly have no idea whether Athena would slay you on sight now that she's sober; maybe Dionysus would have some idea, although there may just be no saying anyways. She'll certainly be angrier when she finds out you trapped, cared for, and corrupted her companion, who isn't even living in a forest right now. Of course, if you DO take the ring to be safer, she may end up more determined to kill you than ever if she finds out. It's also possible that she'll just forget about this nymph, who was the least of her servants before, and the ring itself with her.

So...keep it? Try and sell it off? Try to give it back or have it sent to her? Have a chat with Dionysus first?
Also you may want to go about convincing your wife that you are not in fact just waiting for an opportunity to sleep with the nymph.
But MORE IMPORTANTLY, your poor dogs! Give them a bone or something, why don't you?

>>16434414
Dont you mean Artemis?

>>16434414
We just killed a deer, didn't we? I guess we have plenty of bones for our dogs. They shall have a feast!
About the ring... probably better to keep it for now, and keep it hidden from Artemis. We'll ask Dionysus about it when we get the chance.
About the wife... not really sure how to approach the subject, I think the best way to deal with this kind of situation is to just slowly build up trust again? Unless she seems very bothered by it, then we should probably bring it up.

ohshitniggerwhatamidoing

Yes. Of COURSE I mean Artemis. That's what I get for writing up my opening quest thing at 2 AM.

Sorry...

>>16434467
Wise choices. So, you give your dogs some bones and ask the nymph for the ring, which she willingly gives to you. What next?

>>16434452
He also means lovely wife in the second sentence! :D

>>16434469
Hey, it's okay, it's just some minor errors, I'm glad you're doing this despite it being a bit late.

>>16434489
Nah, I mean it was 2 AM this morning, lol. Now it's 5:30, pm, i wrote this all beforehand. Also I actually meant nymph, it was a play on words indicating how much you wub your wife.

>>16434486
Hmm... is it the next day already? I guess we could make our vineyard bigger, we really should do something in our function as a cleric of Dionysus?

>>16434517
You go out to the vineyard. Roll 1d20+4 to use Profession(Vigneron) to expand your vineyard.

rolled 6 + 4 = 10

>>16434532
Rollan'

rolled 4 + 4 = 8

>>16434532

>>16434549
You manage to expand it a little bit, but it's still slow going! This fancy new knowledge doesn't seem to sit very well in your simple hunter's mind.

Just as you're heading back into the house, you hear the same laughter as on the first day, only it sounds like it's coming from the forest's edge...

rolled 17 + 4 = 21

>>16434566
Lets investigate.
hide roll

>>16434566
Now that's... strange...
Maybe ask the nymph if it's her folks again? Maybe we should tell her to go hiding for now, it might be Artemis? Maybe she's coming to see us?

rolled 7 + 2 = 9

>>16434594
listen

>>16434595
>>16434594
You sink into the vineyard, close beside the nymph, and whisper to her, asking if it's her kind.

"I..I think so..."

Soon enough, being well-hidden, you see five nymphs stumble drunkenly out into the now moonlit field beyond the forest's edge, laughing and singing.

It seems Artemis was too disdainful to pick up any of her nymphs which fell to Dionysus' wiles.

>>16434595
Maybe I shouldn't say maybe so much? Maybe it's because I'm a bit tired? Maybe that's because I didn't sleep much last night?
...shit.

rolled 11 = 11

Ring strikes me as dangrous, and its not healthy to be an enemy of a greek god, we should write up an apology note and leave it with the ring in one of her shrines. Might keep us healthy and win back some points.

As for the nymph, whos saying we arent? ;) Diplomacy is nice though, lets work something out after feeding dogs, Greeks/Romans weren't well known for keeping to one fuckbuddy. We could easily assure her we mean to stay though.

>>16434616
But SHE WAS DRUNK TOO!
Well... our wife isn't gonna like this. On the other hand, they probably wouldn't want to live in our vineyard too. So it should be okay, let's greet them. But let's also be cautious, they might hold a grudge over having been kicked out because of us.

>>16434625
Whether we are or not, we should probably be reassuring the old women that we aren't. Also, definitely give the old thread a look,l we already sort of had a...run-in...with Artemis.

Anyways, more nymphs heading in general direction of vineyard, wat do?

Greet them and ask what they around these parts.

>>16434669
>>16434637
They stand tall and disdainful as you address them. Well, four of them do. One falls over, and then gets back up and stands proud and disdainful.

"Speak not to us, mortal male."

"Oh, drop it!"
You are surprised to hear the voice of your vineyard nymph.

"Artemis isn't going to take any of us back, not after this, you know. We can do better anyhow."

They all stare her down.

"Sister..." the tallest one begins, in a threatening tone, "What are those ridiculous mats on your body?"

The youngest nymph blushes deeply, trying in vain to hide the leafkini.

The others look extremely disdainful and a little shocked and appalled.

What now? (also, if anyone sees GhostQuest and I'm not already in it, link me, okay?)

>>16434709
"Look at yourself, so proud, yet you're so drunk you're barely able to stand! [nymph] here is right, Artemis is never going to take the likes of you back. So, have you already thought about what you are going to do now? I trust you didn't plan on just continuing to get drunk for the rest of your days and disgrace your former mistress as well as yourselves even more, did you?"

>>16434741
>I trust you didn't plan on just continuing to get drunk for the rest of your days
Can a cleric of Dionysus really condemn such a plan?

>>16434741
...uhhh...I guess...roll an...Intimidate check?

Did you want something other than to make fun of us? If not, there are many things that would be better uses of our limited time.

>>16434768
We can, as long as we're just trying to insult them. They're too drunk to notice the contradiction.

rolled 8 = 8

>>16434770
d20?

>>16434791
Yes, this is 3.5e mechanics.

8+3 = 11

Thetwo youngest nymphs slink over to join their sister, but the three eldest glare at you in pure hatred and stalk unsteadily off towards the forest.

>>16434804
"And dont come back you leafy tarts!"

>>16434828
The very eldest turns around in a rage, pulls a sword out of NOWHERE, and tosses it at you. It lands in front of you and immediately sticks fast inside of a rock. It appears to be magical in nature.

Apparently you have accidentally founded a poor basis for an economic system.

More wenches for our harem! I mean, hands for our expanding vinyard! Now, to work on the ale half of the equasion of happiness

rolled 20 = 20

>>16434804
I hope they don't "find" our traps...
Well, let's... talk to the new nymphs about what exactly they have been planning to do now. And talk to all of them about what they think those older nymphs may do now, both with themselves and to us. This could easily get us in trouble.

>>16434847
They reassure you that the older nymphs will be too terrified to speak to Artemis or even indirectly communicate with you. Also, apparently they will do whatever you want them to, what with a natural 20 and all...you cheeky bastard. Also, seems Dionysus is on the phone...

>>16434861
Well, let's pick up the phone then, our favourite bro is calling!
Happy small talk first, then tell him about the ring and the nymphs, if he doesn't have more important matters to speak about.

>>16434861
Awesome lets ask him if he knows anything about this magical sword that was thrown at us

>>16434877
It is, in fact, not Dionysus at all, but rather a strange, wheezy voice.

"Hey...is this the cleric of Dionysus?"

Yeah, what can I do you for?

>>16434921
"He's here with me. I'll be at your temple at five...have some linen ready."

Five minutes later a strange goat-man appears moving incredibly fast, and bearing Dionysus on his shoulders. Dionysus is unconscious and...missing his right arm.

>>16434931
What the fucking fuck?
He clearly needs some wine. Get some wine ready!
Also... ask the weird guy (Hades?) what happened to him, and what we can do to help!

>>16434942
"Um...Hades...? What happened here?"

The goatman gives you a look like WTF RLY NOW? and just says "Give him some wine, and get him inside, somewhere so he can lie down."

After a moment he sighs, and reconsiders.

"My name is Pan. Maybe you've heard of me? Dionysus isn't exactly on drinking terms with Hades, not many of us are. What happened? Well, Artemis was pretty unhappy about being forced by her own word to work with her...she...she warned him, if he so much as touched her, she'd rip his arm off. He WOULD take it as a joke. I think he's deluded himself into thinking she's capable of regular emotion. Anyways...he'll regrow that, no problem, with some wine and some time, but right now we need to lie low, and...well, this certainly is a RURAL temple, so it'll do well."

>>16434931
Welcome Pan (I'm guessing) into our home and offer him some wine.

>>16434964
Get some wine for both Pan and Dio(cause real bros shorten long names) while commenting that Rural just means easier to repair if some "worshiping" happens to go awry

>>16434984
>>16434968
Your wife comes storming out of the room Pan laid Dionysus down in (your bedroom lol). She blanches at the sight of Pan, whom she recognizes from stories, but shrews at you nonetheless.

"WHAT is the vagrant doing in there? He told me he wanted to speak to YOU."

>>16434964
Artemis!

Well, I guess we'll just do what we were told...
Call our wife over, explain everything to her, also the thing about the two new nymphs (we'll take care of that later), get her to help.

>>16435007
Explain to her that Dionysus, whose cleric we are after all, is badly hurt, and this nice gentleman-god brought him here to be taken care of. Maybe remind her what Dio has done for us in the past(saving our life, giving us awesome powers as well as unlimited wine, making us HAWT!).

>>16435007
My love, some people find it hard to discuss matters with others when dismembered and well, consider Pan a two for the price of one deal really.(long pause)Want some wine?

>>16435055
>>16435053
You rush past your still-flustered wife.
Pan shrugs at her, and says something like:
"Well, he IS a vagrant."

Within you find Dionysus, looking horribly pale.
"Come closer...my cleric." he gasps out.
You approach his bedside.
"I have something...I must tell you..."
He draws a long, shuddering breath, wincing from the awful pain, closes his eyes, and mutters, nearly inaudibly:
"I think..she's...warming up to me."

rolled 1 = 1

First up, serve up our bro.
Next, diplomacy to get the wife to stop being so hostile.

>>16435069
Well one arm is progress, you're not dead right? well as dead as a god could be, so obviously she wants to like you, she just finds it difficult? (pour some wine into his mouth)

rolled 8 = 8

>>16435069
>"I think..she's...warming up to me."
And now we discover that our holy gesture is the FACEPALM.

Ask our godbro what he requires. We really should emphasize to our lovely, wise and UNDERSTANDING wife that we really are a chosen cleric of a god now, 4srs, and well, this kind of thing is gonna happen.

>>16435088
>>16435084
Dionysus is like: "Yur muh bro, bro"
Your wife hates you like forever. That's TWO 1s when dealing with her now. Damn, son.

Just when things couldn't get any worse, you hear the unmistakable sound of a stag running at full speed.

>>16435084
divorce incoming...

rolled 19 = 19

>>16435101
>>16435101

A stag...Ohshi-

Is there a way to make a full body cringe a defensive posture?

>>16435092
I think you mean BROFIST! Clearly, this is just a sign of her affection!
Still, warn him about maybe being a bit more careful about... getting her to show her affection in the future. Also ask him about further plans, and do tell him about dem nymphs and dat ring.

>>16435101
Well first thing to do, SWIG!, then quickly ask Dio if the rapidly appraoching stag is A.good or B. bad and second, get that bitch a gift, bitches love gifts(this of course we monologue internally because saying that out loud is asking for a domestic)

rolled 12 = 12

>>16435101
Cast tripvine if it's running at us.

>>16435123
>>16435119
>>16435118
Dionysus has fainted. Ooooh boy. Pan is looking about ready to bolt. You remember that the nymphs are outside in the vineyard...she'll see them...

rolled 14 = 14

>>16435101
Dice love me bro, wife, not so much. Perhaps get around to that nymph harem.

Also, greet our next guest, m+y is our hovel busy today.

rolled 3 = 3

>>16435166

Yep. looks like our only real course here is to step out front and be welcoming...and hope Artemis don't beat us to death with the dismembered arm of our lord. I guess we could try greeting her far enough away that the nymphs have time to duck.

>>16435166
>>16435142
You cast tripvine. Artemis vaults off of her stag and catches it lightly in her arms so it will not suffer harm.

She then stalks grimly towards the vineyard.

rolled 7 = 7

>>16435158
Intercept her before she heads outside and drop to one knee (swig wine) and say "My dearest love my heart longs for you, though there are nymphs out there tis true, and though your heart hath turned a shade of blue, the light in my life be you" (interpret skill as appropriate)

rolled 19 = 19

>>16435158
Run outside, definitely take that ring with us, tell the nymphs to hide if we have the time.

rolled 13 = 13

>>16435191
My good morrow Artemis, your beauty doth grace and shame my humble abode how can this humble cleric be of service, also sorry bout the stag, you never know when vicious hoofed animals are afoot!

rolled 2 = 2

>>16435191

Oh, BALLS. She's gonna-

>>16435204

Well, we're either going to be skinless or WININ' depending on how this goes. Fuck it, fuel for the fire; We're already kneeling; present the STILL BUNDLED RING back to here, with a "You seem to misplace this a lot."

>>16435235
>>16435223
Yeah it's probably too late to act like the humble cleric after last thread...she stalks haughtily up to you, not sparing a glance at her nymphs as they cower amidst the vines.

"Mortal. I see you have perverted my creatures as well as evaded my wrath. It is of no concern. My business here is only to collect that bauble, and then with Dionysus."

She is rather tall, as deities are, and is staring just over your head rather than at you.

rolled 7 = 7

>>16435247
Well, you're welcome to the ring, it is yours after all, but I have to ask, being a cleric of Dio and all, you don't plan to do more bodily renovations do you?(swig wine)

unrelated note captcha (1851 offendn) damn straight

Hand her the ring and beg her to spare the vinyard her fury.

>>16435247
"Yeah... I don't think so, Arty. Dionysus is in my house, yes, and that means he'll be safe from anyone wishing him harm. Now what is your business with him?"

rolled 8 = 8

>>16435247

Of course she gets her ring back...Unfortunately, Our master is...unavailable to see her. We would, of course, be happy to deliver a message to our magnificent bro when possible. Intimidate rollan. This is our humble domicile.

>>16435274
>>16435272
>>16435268
She grabs the ring, puts it on, and apparently casts a silenced Blink spell, because she appears behind you and marches inside.

Why are we apparently giving her the one thing protecting us from her wrath again?

>>16435294
Follow her obviously, hushing the wife is she starts something up again, cause now is not the time!

rolled 13 = 13

>>16435294

I guess we're following. Be ready with the greco-nippon vinework bondage magicks in case she gets belligerent.

>>16435295
Cause as great and as shiny as it is, saying "No! You cannot have the ring that belongs to you" to her face is not productive to our health...

>>16435294
Ugh. Follow her. Get ready for some serious spell casting if she tries anything. Like, ultra vine bondage, douse her in wine, fly away with Pan and Dio.

>>16435317
It contains part of her power and protects us from her. Protected.

>>16435308
>>16435314
>>16435317
>>16435319
You've used your 1st level spell for the day and are left with three orisons. Good luck fighting a goddess. Regardless, you get there and find that the door has grown into the walls. You'll have to attack it or make a Break check or something to get inside.

Its a greek god, it wouldnt do well to hold onto her property, we'd end up dead. Plus she probably wont and almost defintly cant kill another god.

rolled 7 = 7

>>16435330
Engaging kool-aid man door breaching protocol.
Rollan for OH YEAH!

rolled 3 = 3

>>16435330
Get all psycho on that wall/door hybrid with the knife, yelling something about "not in my house" and "if it bleeds we can kill it"

>>16435358
>>16435341
You smash up your shoulder pretty good.
Btw Pan is running away.
Your wife has run out into the vineyard and is crying helplessly with the nymphs.

You can't hear anything from inside the room.

rolled 13 = 13

>>16435330
:| Waitaminute...Didn't you say something about Arty Riding a HIND? A hind that we trussed up with vines when she got here?

>>16435384
(A deer yeah. You tripped it, not trussed it up. She caught it to preserve it from injury. Are you going to try and break down a door with a fragile mammal?)

rolled 5 = 5

>>16435374
Well we ponder why we thought that was a good idea in the first place while cradling our bruised and battered shoulder. The only logical action is to drink the pain away and then offer wine to those around us....ESPECIALLY the deer.If Arty is gonna muck up our house I'm gonna get her a DUI(Deering under the influence)

Cast mending to make door openable.

rolled 20 = 20

>>16435407
>>16435407

I second this. Drinking has done us plenty good so far. Since it seems we ain't getting in our hovel any time soon.

>atarien language
I don't know it at all.

>>16435410
Congratulations, you can now open the door. Good thinking.

>>16435407
Kinda passive-aggressive... but possibly the best we can do!
If she had anything to drink with her, like some water, replace it with wine too!

>>16435407
>>16435418
Also you take a drink and throw the nymphs/wife/deer some wine.

>>16435418
Oh yeah. ULTRA-drinking!

>>16435426
Alright, the door is open, apparently... kick it open and stand in the doorway heroically.

rolled 3 = 3

>>16435420

Awww, shit! We inside, AND we're liquored up! This could be the beginning of a Lifetime movie. Let's go save our brogod!

rolled 18 = 18

>>16435426
Open then door and yell "ARTEMIS, I'm HOME", (well not that I ever left, but you know) and walk to the room where poor old Dio is(cautiously mind you).

>>16435426
March inside our house, when we get in tell Artemis that this is Dionysus's temple and not hers. That if she doesn't clear the fuck out we are going to have to show her the less jolly and goofy side of wine and call in the Motherfucking Maenads.

>>16435454
>>16435453
She's leaning over ominously close to him..

Moral support directive activate.

Assist bro during epic femrage with our presence.

rolled 10 = 10

>>16435476
Swagger into the room and call out to Dio "Is this chick bothering you bro?" while trying to sound completely calm and sober about what is occurring. Also try to see/hear whatever it is she doing while being ominously close.

rolled 11 = 11

>>16435480
>>16435476

IT'S INEBRIATING TIME! (no, Ogg, no!)

Wait, rollan to determine this situation first... Is she smothering him with a pillow, or are we running the risk of cockblocking our bro?

>unemploy orhapan
I know, i'm afraid of that too.

rolled 10 = 10

>>16435476
If we want her to leave our Bro God alone we need to remind her that Dionysus is one dangerous god and as I suggest here
>>16435470
threaten to call in the less nice side of Drinking.

>>16435476
Ask innocently: "Oh, am I interrupting something here?"

Wait he was right? Act innoculous and claim we are looking for a flagon, offer more drinks.

rolled 7 = 7

>>16435512

I figure it's a possibility! I mean, This is Dionysus we're talking about.

You cannot make out what expression she was wearing, all you know is that you see her face hardening into an emotionless mask once more as you appear.

There is a blast of wind which leaves you stunned, and she is gone. Dionysus is conscious, and his arm has been restored.

Whaaaat??

>>16435512
See If this was the case I honestly couldn't resist making a horrible joke here "Certain parts of her were warming up Dio"

rolled 5 = 5

>>16435533

Got his arm back.

Haaaaa! Our brogod is a straight up playa. Reference OP's pic. His face when, etc etc.

>>16435533
Walk over to Dio and offer wine. "She obviously likes you, cause you still have both arms, well done I'd tap my hat to you if I was wearing one". "Also if you're not to busy, I have a nymph problem"

>>16435533
Shiiiiiiiiiit, we totally cockblocked him!
Oh well, bring out the wine, get everyone inside who's still out crying, and have a party anyway!

>sypestat Cockburn,
wait, what?

>>16435559
>>16435558
"Nymph problem? I assure you, my cleric, I am MORE than equipped to deal with any and all nymph problems. Lead on."

>>16435559
Waaat? We have a vineyard full of nymphs. This is not a problem; it's an upgrade!

We seriously need to expand our hovel. Our yard now outshines our residence. This could also make our wife happy.

>>16435559
Indeed, a nymph problem. They seem horny, now we're obviously married. Now WHO could help us out with that?

rolled 17 = 17

>>16435568
Lead Dio to the nymphs and the crying wife.(whisper while on route)"Dio my wife hates me right now, can you magic the memories out mayhaps OR change it into an open marriage? Also, share the details bro, what's on Arty's mind aside from your majesty of course"(looking down at his crotch and winking), then mention something about putting a sign on the door or something.

>>16435584
>>16435582
"So, um, you want me to take these nymphs off of your hands then? I'm sure Pan has somewhere they can stay."

>>16435584

We are now creating the Grecian playboy mansion. Well done, anon. Well bloody done!

>domestic ressamb
In progress, captcha.

>>16435568
Well... get the wine, get outside, see if we can find Pan (that little coward!), and celebrate!

Inb4 equipment is his dick, because it should be ours.

quick question, how are we handleing Ogg when he gets hammered?

Dont really see what the problem with the nymphs is, they'll do what we say and can help with the orchard, plus they like us better than our wife.

>>16435650
>>16435615
>>16435606
Okay so you say it would be best to keep the nymphs here, Pan comes back, you have a MASSIVE party and everyone gets drunk. Fall asleep drunkenly and wake to next plot point?

>>16435604
"Oh no, no, that's quite alright. I just meant, since I kind of chased Artemis away just as you were getting kinda close and all... no matter, let us just drink and be merry for now."

>>16435650

...not to mention "Nymph Vineyard" sounds like an '80s goth band. This is a good thing, al the way around . I vote for keeping the vineyard open to pretty nekkid ladies.

>iparty 493,
We are also gonna party like its 943.

>>16435669

YES. Hit it!

>>16435669
Sure. We do at least try to keep our hands off the nymphs for now though, and on our wife.

>>16435669
Let the org..I mean party commence

You wake up with a pounding headache in your vineyard. Sitting up, you wait for your eyes to adjust to the light, and see the nymphs and your wife all sort of dozing nearby.

There's a short message scrawled out on a note nailed to your front door.

>>16435715

Reading the note on our way to prepare breakfast for all attending.

>>16435715
Well... try to get up, sloooooooowly, it has been a long night. Then read the note.

>>16435715

You yadda yadda'd over the best part!

>>16435761
Yes I did.

>>16435733
>>16435724
"Gone to take care of something very important. May not be back for a few days. I will come for you when I need you. Also, not so sure Artemis is warming up to me after all. Details later. Dio. P.S. Good luck with the wife."

>>16435795
Well, as that other anon suggested, let's make breakfast for everyone. Naturally, we will sit closest to the wife. Also, how are the dogs, do they need to be fed?

>>16435795
Well lets get some breakfast together for ourselves, our wife and the half a dozen naked ladies on our lawn. After we get some grub together we should probably get some hunting in because clericing doesn't pay the bills.

rolled 4, 2 = 6

Read note, collect grapes, make food for everyone. Judge wifes mood in relation to us.

>>16435795

Good luck with the...

Hm. So, we're gonna hit that breakfast thing HARD. Looks like it's wife appreciation day.

We'll leave the yummies where they sleep and be about our other business in the meantime. I still think we should consider expanding our hovel. We server a higher purpose now, after all!

>>16435840
>>16435838
>>16435837
You now have 11 bunches of grapes totaly You use two, some bread, and some venison to make breakfast. Also I really hate to break this to you but your current nymph herd is only 4. Also your wife is SURE you made her drink until she fell asleep so you could orgy with the nymphs.

You can hardly blame her.

>>16435857
Actually, we had the youngest one and the two youngest ones of that group joined us, so it should be three? Am I missing something, besides my mind for bringing this up?

>>16435881
Three, right.

>>16435857
Need to think of some romantic bullshit to fix this, I got it. Honey, the drinking was part of my ceremonial duties as a Cleric of Dionysus, who along with Pan hogged all the nymphs last night anyway, and I won't say the Nymphs aren't beautiful, but you are the one I want to grow old together with.

>>16435897
Roll 1d1 to see how it goes.

>>16435897
She looks unimpressed by your less than romantic declaration.

[OOC: Who would you like to see next?
Apollo, Zeus, Hera, or Aphrodite? Afraid i can't bring any other in just yet, plot reasons.]

>>16435897

LoL. Ogg created hallmark in another timeline.

I still think the best course is to simply get busy. If we're providan and hustlan, she can't be tearing our head off.

>>16435926
Aphrodite, so she can help us with the wife, or Apollo, so we can do something for Artemis and get her to like Dio better. Although the first one may horribly backfire.

>>16435926

My loins scream Aphrodite, but my brain says we're one love goddess away from a Tenchi Muyo! ripoff.

>Zeus and Hera
HELL. NO.

>Apollo
Intredasting. I wonder how he feels about his sister's antics?

>>16435926
Apollo seems interesting what with being Artemis's brother. Zeus would just sleep with our wife, Hera would kill us quickly when we got on her bad side and Aphrodite would just sow too much chaos.

>>16435968
>>16435955
>>16435953
So we're going with Apollo rather than Aphrodite. I'm so proud of you all.

In that case...any objections to a TIME PASSES summary?

What's a good place to read greek mythos porn and nymph porn? I got a hot nut on loan from hell!

>>16435992
None here.

>>16435992
No objections, you've lead us well up to here, OP, I trust you to do this the right way.

>>16435998
Greek myth itself is like 30% porn.
So I'd start with a Greek myth compendium, lol.

Captcha: fagacity ollgrang

Alright who brought the fagacity?

rolled 1, 7 = 8

Aphrodite, either she helps our marriage probllems or we become proper poly-amoures greeks.

I can't be fucked to read the other threads: did we fuck Artemis?

rolled 6 = 6

>>16435992
A time passes summary with us, Huntin, winein, marriage reparian, and nymph teaching, cause those graps and vines won't tend themselves.

>>16435992
>>16435999

Second.

rolled 15 = 15

>>16435992
A time passes summary with us, Huntin, winein, marriage reparian, and nymph teaching, cause those graps and vines won't tend themselves.

>>16436020

I mean like a dedicated site of pornfiction for greek mythology. Mmmmm.

>>16436026
No, and it's only one to read. It was the hunter-walks-in-on-her-bathing myth, only you survived via dumb luck.

TIME PASSES and you become a small wine merchant. Your vineyard is tripled in size. You're pretty swell. The nymphs continue living in the vineyard.

You wake on a seemingly auspicious morning to find your wife standing over you, bristling with righteous outrage...

>>16436041

Most men get a nymph, and get drunk on fey pussy. Not our boy Ogg, though! He makes those motherfuckers productive citizens! Shit, they may even become loyal servants of the bro!

rolled 6 = 6

>>16436048
Morning my dear?

>>16436048
Hi honey, what can I do for you? Is anything amiss?

>>16436048
Be confused. Ask her what happened.
Silently pray to the gods that nymphs can't get pregnant from humans, and that we didn't do anything stupid on that one drunk night.

rolled 19 = 19

>>16436048
Emergency d20 for "calm emotions"

>>16436098
FUCKING FINALLY!

>>16436086
>>16436079
>>16436067
"I. Am sick. And tired. Of those nymphs pissing on our vines! And if that's not enough...they had the cheek to tell me that they're STIMULATING PLANT GROWTH! I never!"

(The funniest part is I didn't even make this up, there have always been people, and in fact still are people, who think this is true. Source: /b/ facts thread, where else? Apparently you can actually help your tomatoes out if you piss on them at exactly the right growth period, some chemistry thing which went over my head.)

"There's something else, too, but that can WAIT for now."

>>16436098
>>16436098
>>16436098

>brofist of the gods

rolled 11 = 11

>>16436129
Well my dear, they are creatures of nature, just turn a blind eye? Those vines are bringing in a fair amount of money and that something we should deal with now. No time like the present and all

(rpresin Syn) yes captcha, yes we are

>>16436098
Okay so she calms down considerably. Good, those 1s were killing you.

>>16436129
First off grape production is up 20% since they started that and I'm pretty sure that nymphs, creatures of nature know what they're doing when it comes to growing stuff.
Secondly what is the other problem that could supposedly wait?

>>16436129

I am confused, darling. Is it because they are doing it in front of you? I already have them wearing clothes...of a sort, when that is against their nature. They also come not into our home. Don't worry about the vineyards. I am working with them to make tending the vines their task.

>>16436171
>>16436164
>>16436098

Good rolls, so...

She sighs.
"Fine. You got a letter from that damned fool god of yours."
She hands you the paper.

>>16436129
"Oh dear, I am sure we will find a way to make them understand that if they live in a house, they will have to agree to human norms. I'm sure they will understand that while it is perfectly fine for them to help the growth of the forest in this way, but that humans just do not tolerate this kind of thing on anything that belongs to the house. I will talk to them, yes?"
If she seems calm enough for it, give her a kiss.

>>16436185
read letter

>>16436185

Ooo! A note from Big D! Let's read.

They ARE supernatural creatures, for all we know they are right. Also, I had an idea scary close to this for fertilization.

Ask ball and chain what the big issue is.

>>16436185
Give her a kiss, and thank her for being the most patient and understanding wife in all of Greece.
Then read.

>>16436201
It's a formal invitation to a big event in Athens, hosted by Apollo, featuring the handiwork of Athena and Dionysus. The gods themselves are attending, it seems. And you and your wife have a place of honor.

Now...how are you going to convince her that it's okay to leave the nymphs in charge here?

(I love making trouble for you guys with each and every opportunity)

>>16436231
>>16436231

This is suitable mushy sounding. Do it.

>>16436233

Hooo, boy. Let's tell it to her straight. We dine with the gods! We should bring our best stock to this shindig, we will make gifts of it. Our lives are more interesting now, but we flourish under the gods' attention. We should give due thanks.

>freud's areret

rolled 10 = 10

>>16436233
My dear we have been invited to an event hosted by the gods, we shall attend and make even Aphrodite jealous of your beauty, we need to leave the nymphs in charge though, not that being in charge is difficult I mean feed themselves and tend some fines hardly difficult.

>>16436233
"There's a party of the gods in Athens, and we are invited... oh dear, you will need CLOTHES, and JEWELRY, and OTHER FANCY WOMAN STUFF THAT YOU LOVE!
ohandalsothenymphswillhavetobeinchargehere."

Holy shit I am sick and tired of the wifey, I feel like fucken Ray Romano up in this bitch.

Let's kill her or at least get her pregnant enough she can't move.

I vote take first nymph instead of wife. Can we get their names btw, they do work for us after all.

>>16436274
>>16436273
>>16436269
Shopping. Well played. She agrees without much fuss and goes immediately to pack!
You'll be able to make it in plenty of time if you set off bright and early tomorrow...what are you going to today? Go hunting, wander around, just admire your property?

>>16436302
Hunt, we may need some money... >.<

>>16436301
That sounds like a truly terrible diplomatic choice. Also...

ohshitohshitohshitwaitigotthis:
Youngest - Eir
Second - Mist
Third - Róta
*whistles inconspicuously*

>>16436314
You go hunting. Huey, Duey, and Louie are getting a little fat lately anyways.

We have money? That we dont use to aquire more booze? Lolwut?

Check our traps, try to get more goods for when we go to town.

>>16436333

Hah! love the names. We will contemplate good thoughts as we roam with our fat doggies. Life is good, if a bit interesting.

>>16436348
(So you haven't seen any GhostQuest at all tonight either?)
First two traps are empty. Roll a d20 to see what's up with the last trap.

>>16436333
Can the wife have a name?

>>16436348

OP has told us in a cutscene that our vineyard has tripled in size and has brought us a modicum of prosperity. I doubt we hunt for profit and sustenance any more. More likely we hunt for leisure, and to exercise our most loyal companions.

rolled 6 = 6

rollan

>>16436368
Cmonnnn wifey needs a new dress!

>>16436368
Haven't seen it. Didn't look too much either, but a little bit. RL probably got in the way, it happens.

>>16436403
>>16436373
Her name isss...Eudora!

Also, your trap has caught. OH...oh damnit. Another nymph. The eldest one. You haven't checked your traps in a few days, so it looks like she's been here a while. Still...still conscious though, not in a great mood.

rolled 14 = 14

>>16436368
not another nymph I can't sell that

>>16436390
Good point. We should be alright then.

>>16436421
I'm pretty sure slavery is not forbidden in Greece...

>>16436420
Let's approach her slowly, and tell her that, whatever happened in the past, we just want to help her right now. She need not thank us, we'll just get her out of the trap.

rolled 13 = 13

>>16436420

Oh, godsdammit. I guess we help her. get her free, at least, ask her if she's alright. We have our spell for the day if we need to burn it, yeah? Rolling for diplomacy

rolled 14 = 14

>>16436420
...
>>16436421
i lol'd
Alright, lets give her a drink to numb the pain and get her out. Bring her back to our house to treat the wounds

>>16436452
>>16436451
She turns to you with eyes red from crying and makes no move as you free and bandage her.
"I don't care anymore. Just take me where I can rest."

It seems your Diplomacy has worked.

Apologize profusely, release her from the trap, and offer her a job with her sisters. Offer more wine.

>>16436470
Apologize for what we said to her last time we met. Yes, we may have been right to do so, but... well, this must be hurting her pride enough anyway. Then take her home, I'm sure the other nymphs will be happy to see her. Explain it to the wife in a quiet minute.

rolled 13 = 13

>>16436470

>Greek-Bawks achievement unlocked: Tenchi Muyo!

Alright, magic the wounds(rollan), take her t othe vineyard...quietly!

We'll mention this to Eudora later.

rolled 19 = 19

>>16436483
>>16436505
>>16436510

Ogg is on the fucking ball tonight, chaps!

>>16436510
>>16436505
You don't really roll for wound treatment, let's say you cast a few orisons, Cure Minor Wounds, to help her, though.

You arrive in the vineyard. The other nymphs beg you not to tell your wife...they'll hide her in the vines for now, and you can tell her later, after the festival. They seem...a little scared of your wife.

The eldest is too tired to object to anything, even the application of a leafkini.

Suddenly, Huey runs off towards the woods at a furious pace, barking. The other two dogs follow.

>>16436518
Sure, we can still take her home and have the nymphs take care of her?

>>16436533
"Damn it, boys. Get back here!"

Follow suit.

rolled 19 = 19

>>16436533

Get after the dogs. If possible, snatch up our bow on the way!

>>16436533
Chase Ze hounds

>>16436533
Let the nymphs take care of it, and we'll mention it to the wife later. Also, follow dogs, what the hell are they up to now?
Maybe it's Dio...

>>16436420
>OH...oh damnit. Another nymph.

IT KEEPS HAPPENING

>>16436578
>>16436575
>>16436569
You manage to snatch up your bow...AND an empty wine jug.

You follow them into the woods, and see them all barking and bristling at a company of three horsemen in hunting gear. Tiberius and his sons!
What do?

Ok at computer now, and I haven't seen ghost quest, I think by now he would have linked himself here.

FOLLOW THAT DOG!
(no dog Pics, so here's a bear)

>>16436596

Requesting infodump on Tiberus before we open our yap.

Greet them kindly, this might be that Tiberius guy we didn't want to find, best to not, you know, get our heads lobbed off. Also why is there a centurion in Greece?

>>16436612
Tiberius: That retired centurion whose land we're poaching on. No further information archived.

>>16436596
Oh HELL no...
Greet him. Very respectfully. Make it clear that we are Ogg, cleric of Dionysus. But not in a threatening way or anything, just introducing myself.

>>16436595

I WARNED YOU ABOUT NYMPHS, BRO

I TOLD YOU, DOG

I TOLD YOU ABOUT NYMPHS

rolled 14 = 14

>>16436635

Be really goddamn polite. Along the order of "My lord! Forgive my bearing of weapons; I was working in my vineyards when the dogs ran off. I feared their enthusiasm might have carried them int harms way..." Rollan for diplom

>>16436625
>>16436644
>>16436664
"Ah, I feared that I had encountered a poacher at first. My mistake...it is always good to meet a holy man. These are very well-trained dogs you have, but I suppose defense is of the essence even in times of peace...that, my friend, is a lesson our young men would do well to learn...my sons...they know naught of defense...why, I remember in the Battle of...but I digress. Then I take it, my jovial priest, that those were not your traps we confiscated? It seems men are poaching these lands under both of our noses. I would be grateful if you would keep an eye out for them in the future...

I'm not so worried about him being pissed at poaching, the concept of owning land still hasn't cropped up if this is ancient greece. Or rome for that matter.

Offer our traditional gift, wine. If he doesn't like us poaching, offer tithe of wine for the privelege.

rolled 3 = 3

>>16436708
I have not seen any man about as I rarely venture into the woods, but at your request I shall take a keen vigil whenever I am wandering for both traps and those who don't belong. I wish you and your family well but I must return to my wife, she will be worried. Good day sir

>>16436736
better to just continue the lying about poaching in my opinion

rolled 19 = 19

ROLLAN BLUFF CHECK, if I fail, like I said, offer tithe of wine for the privelege.

>>16436708

Of course, my lord. But those lads of yours look strong, and good blood runs in their veins. I'm sure time in the field with you will season them.

...poachers, you say? I shall keep an eye out for any trespassers, my lord, I promise you! (no moar trapping...we haz enough nymphs!)

Blessings of Our holy bro upon you, my lord, etc etc...

>>16436736
>city-states
>no concept of owning land
Dude what I don't even know what you're saying...

>>16436790

Or, even more simply: There is more of him than there is of Ogg. Also, mounted.

>>16436782
>>16436780
>>16436779
>>16436767
You talk to him for a while and give him a skin of wine. He seems pleased, but you're forced to listen to long tales of his exploits in battles, which his sons actually seem avidly interested in.

By the time you finish, you've learned more than your peasant brain ever could have hoped to find out on its own, and your WIS increases to 7 permanently. Head home?

>>16436834
follow him stealthily.

>>16436790
It's probably because I'm getting a mideval lord vibe from him, and I'm just as confused over a centurion in Greece.

Pic related, it's what I think we look like right now.

rolled 2 = 2

>>16436834
I'd say home, but then I'd say can we hear more WIS improving stories if nay then bid gracious farewells and head home if yay then MORE WIS!!

>>16436834
Yes lets go home hopefully our beloved hasn't poisoned the nymphs in our absence

>>16436834
>WIS increased to 7 permanently

Fuck. Yeah.

Home we go. Check in on the nymphs. Tonight, We will sex Eudora. we will sex her thoroughly. Tomorrow, we will gather our best wine and grapes and head to the party!

>>16436857
pretend he's a hoplite?

>>16436857
It's fantasy, I ain't gotta explain shit.
Last thread Dionysus was talking like he was straight from BroVille.

>>16436887
In your defense, Dio could honestly have talked like that, had he existed, the guy was fucking wasted like 99% of the time and loved to party. Whose to say he didn't even "broism"

>>16436857
>>16436857

Close, but less round. Ogg actually goes out and uses that bow of his. Instead of fondling it in pictures.

>>16436873
We seriously need to talk to the nymphs about her, explain to them that she's mainly just jealous and scared we might replace her with them, and that they also have to understand that humans live very differently than nymphs so she has a hard time adapting to their presence, and they should try to make it easy on her.
The nymphs are probably all confused by now because they just don't even understand what's even wrong...

Head home, stop hunting foreva cause I think our vinyard can support itself now, and take ball and chain shoppin, and/or do that when we get to Athens. Perhaps meet a scholar/philosopher there to increase both WIS AND INT? Soccrates was a pretty great bro too, and the father of trolling, so we should get along great.

Why do I have no alcohol related pics?

>>16436876
>>16436884
>>16436873
>>16436860
You go home and apply your newfound knowledge of battle tactics to the bedroom.

Right.

Anyways.

The next morning you head for Athens...at the gate you see THE SAME GUARD AS BEFORE!

4chan ate my post, rewriting.

Oh nevermind, just took it a while.

dammit papaya, why do we always post at the same time?

>>16436928
Wave hello to said guard, tell him in the interim we've become a cleric of Dionysis and we HAVE AN INVITATION!!!

>>16436928

Well, I doubt we look anything like the dude he remembers. We bathe in wine, have a woman, and a pimpcoat...and a fresh goatee!

Great him warmly, benedictions of the great drunken father upon him and all that. Isn't it a glorious day!

Greet him, ask directions to the temple hosting the god orgy... errr party. If we haven't gone wife shopping yet, get that bitch a dress. Cause bitches love dresses.

>>16437014
>>16437009
He doesn't recognize you at all. He might not have even if you HADN'T changed. He looks at your letter and sends you on through. The streets are bustling with activity. Go straight to the main attractions, or look and shop around? Also, roll 2d100+60 for the amount of silver you brought...you are now wealthy and wanted to treat your wife well.

(I'm probably going to be going in about 15 minutes.)

rolled 59, 76 + 60 = 195

>>16437045
Shop around first, we promised.
God I hope I roll high...

rolled 86, 14 + 60 = 160

>>16437045
I take my girl shopping she "deserves" a treat for putting up with my bullshit, though every vendor we reach I ask if they offer a holy discount (mention my clerical status)

rolled 60, 54 + 60 = 174

rollin for silvers

>>16437083
Alright, now you should decide how much of that to spend on her right off.

rolled 78, 57 = 135

SATAN GUIDE MY DICE!

Buy the ball buster something nice with >1/2 but <all moniez we have, then take a romantic roundabout path to the temple. Which I can't help but imagine being the pantheon itself.

first roll sufficient.

Eudora's gonna get her weave did, maybe a pedicure. Some new clothes and maybe a scented bath or whatever passes for it. Meanwhile, we will be about our master's business.

>>16437110
Huh. Sorry, I have no idea how much that even is?
We're gonna be generous, impress her without spending so much it looks like we did something wrong.

>>16437114
Okay so more than 50%. Any more specific than that or should I just decide?

>>16437147
But we did. Ergo we should spend a lot of it and try not to take discounts or anything, she'd interpret it is devalueing the gift to her.

>>16437173

see

>>16437131

Oh yeah, if someone wants to archive this that'd be cool, I'll save a copy anyways though. Not sure when my net is going to cut out it always gets choppy this time of night...I really need a different ISP.

Second archive up.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=WoodsQuest

>>16437173
70% of it, so 140 roughly

>>16437173
I think you should just decide... or let us roll. We get her all the nice stuff, but we can roll how much luck we have with the shops?
Also, someone archived this... before I had the chance to!

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=WoodsQuest

>>16437195
I meant exactly how much of your moneys are you dumping on this?

The exact gifts aren't likely to be plot-relevant.

>>16437228

Oh.

>>16437217

Use this then. :D To celebrate our fortunes, we treat her to indulgence. We ARE in Athens, you know!

You're still carrying 55 silver and your wife now LOVES you. On to the festivities! But that's for thread 3 I'm afraid. While I'm still here, any questions, comments, suggestions?

>>16437268
WHEN IS THREAD 3? AND IS ARTEMIS SECRETLY TOTALLY INTO US?

>>16437268

>suggestions
Keep being awesome, OP.

>Questions
Are you planning this to be weekly, or every two days, or what?

What day and when will we continue?

>mindodi finks
Boss Mindodi finkz 'uz otta stay 'ere, if yer know wotz best

Now that I think of it, guys... wasn't there a sword sticking out of some rock right in front of our house? Is it still there?

Also, I'mma totally derail this into getting a nymph playboy mansion, and banning those unsightly leafkinis for... nothing. Whether you want it to happen or not :3

>>16437313

lol. you mean like the bundled ring the nymph was holding? Yeah, we tend to overlook things like that in this quest. We're too busy brushing that dust off our shoulders.

>>16437335

Eudora'll come around. I want frolicking nymphy goodness, all over the vineyards. How much do you think our stocks would mushroom, if we let it slip that our wines were fortified with nymph piss and blessed by Dionysus himself?

>>16437356
Yeah, exactly like that. I can just imagine us every day, waking up, walking out of the house, and walking around that sword while not even giving a fuck, not even examining it once.

>>16437386
I wasn't thinking nymph piss, was thinking something a bit thicker...

Also we'd be the richest vinter ever, telling people the wine was only ever touched by nymphs at any point in productions. Modern day wine snobs would murder their own families for a single bottle.

rolled 25, 27 + 60 = 112

>>16437313
I believe that was just a monty python reference not anything factual in the game
>>16434838
>>16434828

>>16437430
Ah, okay. I really need to watch all of those geeky movies, it is getting embarrassing...

>>16437467
You're on /tg/ and have never seen Monty Python and the quest for the holy grail???
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAaWvVFERVA