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  • File : 1318219371.jpg-(70 KB, 397x400, Costco.jpg)
    70 KB Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:02 No.16576071  
    Everyone on earth is killed except for the people who have posted on this thread

    You get the choice to kill yourself, or you get 15 minutes and then you're teleported to a FULLY stocked Costco populated by the people who have posted in this thread, with the objects on your person (what you are wearing and holding, your weight is the max you can carry).

    The building is sealed, although air still goes through the vents, and the building still gets power, it gets water, and it gets natural gas for the stoves. If you dig in any direction, you get sediment (extremely poor quality sediment)

    The other boards are alive and are sealed in different stores, though they have the same amount of members (randomly selected), as there is in our store. There is no way of knowing where their stores could be (at least right now).

    The store is completely stocked, with every self and aisle being full of merchandise. The warehouse in the back is also completely full. The supplies do NOT automatically resupply (there will be no more supplies brought in)

    The internet still exists, though you can only talk to people who survived

    How does /tg/ plan to survive?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:03 No.16576083
         File1318219431.png-(206 KB, 1231x2250, MS Paint.png)
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    Also, first person chooses which MS Paint companion we get in the store.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:05 No.16576104
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:05 No.16576110
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:06 No.16576120
    I guess I'm fine with a delicious trap but eh, infinite marshmellows and no depression seemed like such a better idea.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:09 No.16576152
    Great, the most useless companion, when we have infinite power, and EVERYONE ELSE WILL BE BRINGING CONSOLES/VIDYA
    >> Hammerknife !7ITukp3Pj2 10/10/11(Mon)00:10 No.16576161
    >building still gets power, water, and natural gas
    >in elemental earth plane

    Well that seems obvious. Set up greenhouses with the seeds (yes costco has seeds), eat most of the expiring perishables, and go ahead and live out the rest of my days with everyone else in here.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:10 No.16576168
    Mildred is going to be the obvious choice here, she'll eventually come around to liking us enough to provide us food once our initial stocks run out.

    On the off-chance Mildred doesn't work out, it would probably be a good idea to stock up on high-quality soils before the transport (There are no Costcos in my area, therefore I do not know if they do the whole "We carry EVERYTHING!" thing.) along with various seeds (Tomato, Corn, etc.)

    Outside of that, I'll load up my Laptop, power cable and external harddrive.

    Do Costcos have things like pickaxes / shovels? If not, those as well.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:10 No.16576169
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:12 No.16576183
    You can stick your penis in him though
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:12 No.16576191
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:13 No.16576197
    Me and Womba Womba decide to kill everyone else who shows up in the Costco unless we can establish government and replenish-able food and water right away. I don't want to risk this Costco becoming the /b/ Costco. I prefer living.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:14 No.16576210
         File1318220051.jpg-(638 KB, 761x956, Gorkken_Morkann_by_Jaekyu.jpg)
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    Mine is the drill that will pierce the Heavens!
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:14 No.16576213
    This is a great story concept. I can see the TV pitch now-

    Lost... in a Costco! The world outside ceases to exist, and suddenly the customers have to build new lives. But... SOMETHING is stalking the aisles...
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:15 No.16576222

    You act like we won't just turn it into a battle of moralfags and anti-moralfags until we eventually all starve.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 10/10/11(Mon)00:15 No.16576223
    I shall claim part of the Costco as my personal domain. And using the heavy furniture boxes and pallets, I shall wall it off. From my Costco fortress, I shall raid the surrounding aisles.

    Since what I can carry is limited to what will fit in a M-65 Field Coat's pockets, and a backpack, I'll probably have my gravity knife, a small pot and pan, a chef's knife, a few canned food items, and my headset. I'll raid the managers office first go for the computer. Other necessities will follow.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:15 No.16576227
    >captcha: sediment dapssibu


    Anyway, I guess we could grow shit to eat, but we'd run out of meat and shit pretty quickly, and we'd live pretty unhealthy lives
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:16 No.16576234
    I'm locked in here with you guys? Well... at least it's not /d/...

    Right. I snatch up my katana and spawn behind the Anon who's going for martial law. Disarm him, and lock the guns away in a cabinet. Then everybody can sit down and have a nice long chat about what exactly they can contribute to this community, because I'll be damned if we don't survive this.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:16 No.16576235
    Great, now we have Rolf.
    At least we will have another man in the building.
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)00:16 No.16576237
    rolled 18 = 18

    begin stacking things into fortresses like minecraft.

    Make the bueno face.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:16 No.16576241
    Has anyone ever thought what happens when the costco runs out of food?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)00:17 No.16576252
    Yup. This is also, coincidentally, my established Zombie Apocalypse plan.

    Furthermore, with all of /tg/ in the store, I can do Zerg Quest in person! You'll all be able to watch me make shit up on the spot in REALTIME!
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:17 No.16576254

    It's not that hard to outrun neckbeards. Don't worry. Cannibalism is only a worry for the slow.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:18 No.16576262

    Yeah. Eat everyone else.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:18 No.16576263
    We all die?
    Or how about we just talk with /sci/, find some way to triangulate the position of their Costco from ours, dig our way their, AND THEN STEAL ALL OF THEIR SUPPLIES, RAPE THEIR CALCULATORS, AND MAKE OFF LIKE DEVILS
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:18 No.16576265

    That's why if the discussion breaks down I get Womba Womba to murder everyone. Especially Captain Weeaboo with his super sweet karate and katana work.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:19 No.16576270
    But Womba Womba isn't in the store, remember?
    Only the first person chooses which person we get, and they chose Rolf
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)00:19 No.16576271
    Also, this is totally the same idea as that 4Chan archipelago thing that was going around this time last year.

    It's like a rash that keeps coming back.

    No worries!

    Are on the case!
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:20 No.16576278
    Also a slaughter is different then martial law. Martial Law would require other people to still be alive.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:20 No.16576284
    fuck that
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:20 No.16576290
    all that damn fresh food is going to spoil FAST
    I mean, goddamn

    God knows how much meat is in the back where we can't see that's going to slowly freezerburn, turn to frozen protein-mush, or just simply rot on the ground floor.

    And those fresh fruits/veggies are going to have so many vermin and bugs start to spawn in them or with them.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)00:21 No.16576292
    I'm on board for any plan that involves raping somebody's calculator, but I'm not sure /sci/ is actually smart enough to work that sort of thing out. Have you been over there? It's trolltastic.
    >> Ross 10/10/11(Mon)00:21 No.16576294
    Ok, >>16576241. Cosco has both generators and a fuel line. We dig out to the connected gas pumps, somewhere to the front of the store, then tap the lines to fuel them. >>16576168 will supply us with the necessary seeds- waste will be mixed in with the dug-out sediment, unfortunately. Who wants to be the farmer?

    Also, someone goes to convince >>16576223 that we need his skills as the Magister of Defense.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:22 No.16576303
    First thing we do is set up food production with seeds, water, etc. Then we isolate all perishable goods and try to preserve them.

    But who am I joking, I don't have high hopes for a bunch of mostly awkward male teenagers bumbling around in a Costco. The grabs for power, the resentment, the infighting and god forbid a female post in this thread, lest we all go crazy and/or moralfag when the question of sex comes up.

    >another man
    >not delicious trap
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)00:22 No.16576304
    rolled 12 = 12

    Meanwhile, in the fortress of chex, I'm studying the physics of our new universe. Gravity, light, cause, effect.

    Anything different?
    >> Sasha !ApPkmtJbAE 10/10/11(Mon)00:22 No.16576308
    Giant Costco...so we have limited but large food reserves?

    Well, obviously the first order of business is to secure food supplies. We have infinite air, power, water and natural gas - but presumably we don't have any light bulbs that won't eventually burn out. Is there any way that we can set up a mushroom farm, maybe - or some other kind of food resource that doesn't require sunlight, only water and heat?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:22 No.16576309

    Ugh. Fine. If I can't murder everyone I'll spearhead a coalition of like-minded Neutral Evil/True Neutral thinkers and carve out a duchy where discourse is king and we control the garden section. We run Bartertown.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:23 No.16576313
    Hmm, I wonder how much vidya I can carry.
    Is it cool if I just bring a bunch of consoles, and like 90 games?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:23 No.16576315
    can i play too?
    ill brink dank
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:23 No.16576319
    Thermal tunneling operates differently.
    >> Ross 10/10/11(Mon)00:23 No.16576322

    Yeah. Everybody here would be convinced that they should be in charge. We're screwed- but we might as well try, dammit!

    Make contact with the rest of the boards, see what their situations are.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:24 No.16576326


    Anyway, Mildred is the answer to food, assuming the companion addition is to be taken seriously.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:24 No.16576338
    Companion was already chosen
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:25 No.16576341
    Ok so Jeans casual shirt and hoodie
    i have a Knife here and camera, lighter ipod nano, sneaker also my bag and omg i dunno new wave glasses from my sister... FUCK.

    Come at me bro
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)00:25 No.16576345
    >Get shit from the generators
    No need! The building still gets water and power! We just reallocate some lamps and dig out a farm. Easy as shit. They even sell hoes and whatnot.

    You! Join our farming corps. We have a lot of people to feed, and not a lot of time to fuck around.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:25 No.16576347
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    i'll be somebody's bitch

    problem solved
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 10/10/11(Mon)00:25 No.16576353
    Well, the freezers are still working. We will be able to live like kings, dining on the fresh produces, until what is left rots, and then we move it into a compost heap, enriching the soil for new crops.

    As for finding other boards... >>16576263 has a good idea, but it needs refining...

    We contact the /Sci/ board, and ally with them, using them as a cats paw to find other, weaker boards. And then with the rage of a hundred neckbeards, we raid those weaker boards, pillaging them for supplies, slave labor and what have you. I know that there are at least a few of us on /tg/ that are somewhat physically active, so it shouldn't be hard. /k/ however, should be avoided or allied with at all costs...
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:26 No.16576360
    Food doesn't spoil when frozen. All perishable goods can be stashed in the freezer and they won't go off ever.

    The only problem is that we will run out of food even if we set up extensive farms/hydroponics.
    >> Sasha !ApPkmtJbAE 10/10/11(Mon)00:27 No.16576376

    The big problem with food is that we are eventually going to run out of LIGHT. You can't grow plants in the dark, as far as I know.
    >> Gravefather Nito 10/10/11(Mon)00:28 No.16576381
         File1318220892.jpg-(116 KB, 1097x768, tgcostco.jpg)
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    And so it begins. You can call me Gravefather Nito.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)00:28 No.16576384
    We should also avoid /fit/. Open trade, but keep the borders covered in barbed wire from the Home and Garden area. We don't want those exercising bastards trashing our shit.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:28 No.16576385
    >delicious trap
    >described in stats as male

    Then what the fuck is he? A reverse trap?

    Had this retard thought ahead and went with Mildred, we would have been set for life. But NOOOO, LET'S GET VIDYA.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:29 No.16576387
    Can some really fat guy bring a bunch of video games?
    Or maybe just a bunch of Splat books
    >> Ross 10/10/11(Mon)00:29 No.16576390

    Here goes the moralfag debate. We need to construct defenses first off- do you seriously expect /v/ or /b/ not to get the idea first?

    I am now envisioning a group of determined looking teenagers, living atop the shelves in a sort of tree-like city.
    >> James Joyce 10/10/11(Mon)00:29 No.16576393
    I want to build a fort inside one of the aisles made out of chip boxes. I've always wanted to do that since I was a kid.

    No girls allowed.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)00:29 No.16576399
    This is true, and it's a serious issue...that we will have to deal with once we've got a stable farm in place, so we have time to address it.

    Does Costco sell fish? Fish are a renewable resource...
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:30 No.16576406
    Is anyone not worried about food etc but having to work out some sort of working peace between everyone else? I mean think SS13 but triple the paranoia because it's actually real.
    >> Ross 10/10/11(Mon)00:31 No.16576411
    I haven't seen fish...

    God, I just imagined what /d/ must look like. *shivers*
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:31 No.16576417
    I got a knife so i will get food or else..

    god but these new wave glasses...it's not that manly fuck
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:31 No.16576420
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    >Suicide, or a doomed existence of desperate scrounging with a bunch of maladjusted weirdos
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:32 No.16576424
    This one is so easy, Empty all the pickle jars and put our brains into them. Hook up the infinite power to our brains and then have our companion set up our brains with the games he brought along.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:32 No.16576428
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    I carefully exit through a vent
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:32 No.16576430
    You know what would be great?
    We go around for a couple months, we end up hitting some other costco.
    Everyone is dead, place was clearly on fire, but the flame burned itself out. Piles of bodies of kids everywhere.
    Finding the burned out shell of /b/
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)00:33 No.16576434
    Assuming we're a fair distance from everybody else (we should be, or it'll just be ZERG RUSH!), I assume we'll have a bunch of ripped miners by the time we find anybody else.

    We're certainly prepared for the darkness and the mining, because minecraft/dorf fort.
    >> James Joyce 10/10/11(Mon)00:33 No.16576438
    Everyone would be too much of a pussy to actually try anything.

    I think mine used to sell live lobsters! Do stores only sell male/female lobsters? I don't know shit about lobsters.

    Also, better idea! Block off pharmacy and start my own nation. Trade with farmers for food.
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)00:33 No.16576442
    rolled 13 = 13

    "Thermal Tunneling, eh?"

    The squat, sturdy walls of Dreadfortress Chex rumble with maniacal laughter.

    "Uwahhahahaah! If I can collect the correct scientific doo-dads, I could perhaps manipulate the temperature and hold the entire warehouse for ransom!"

    Covetously hugging a battered box of chex, the frail figure's eyes dart about the darkened interior of the throne room.

    "I'll have to blend in with the plebeians for now. Learn their routines, assess their weaknesses."

    An hour later, a clean cut man of indeterminate ethnicity emerges from the aisles.

    "Why hello there! Can I help you with your farming?"
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)00:35 No.16576457
    Watch out. There will definitely be freakish caricatures of men, walking with knees bent the wrong way and their eyes gouged out and scabbed over, eating the flesh of the dead.

    What I mean to say is, standard /b/ users will still be alive.
    >> Gravefather Nito 10/10/11(Mon)00:35 No.16576461

    Deal. We'll trade what we can grow for medicine as needed. Injuries in the fields will abound. We will need to figure out how to make penicillin.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:35 No.16576463
    how long we need to stay here ??
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:37 No.16576474
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    Oh god, I am going to hate being the only girl here.
    >> James Joyce 10/10/11(Mon)00:37 No.16576478
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    Forever Anon

    and ever

    and ever

    and ever

    and ever
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)00:37 No.16576481
    "GET THE HELL OUT! We partitioned off mining 45 minutes ago. We control the food, James Joyce over there controls the medicine. Together, our two guilds OWN this place. You want to make a name for yourself, you get into the mines where you belong!"
    >> Gravefather Nito 10/10/11(Mon)00:37 No.16576482
    Also fuck the other farmers. We'll raze their fields and bleed them out if they don't join us. We are the only game in town.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:38 No.16576486
    Such a terrible article.
    >> Ross 10/10/11(Mon)00:38 No.16576489
    You look up. At the top of the machinery rack, about forty feet off the ground, a teenager in a leather jacket with a katana strapped across his back frowns at the ceiling lamps. He crosses his arms, then leans down and tosses a rope to you. "Hey! Grab that, will you?" Disappearing overhead, he suddenly swings over and rappels down.

    "Right, where did that guy go..." He nods his thanks, takes the rope, and sets off towards the frozen goods section.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:39 No.16576495
    Shitstorm coming in 5
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:39 No.16576497
    Wait untill all gays make themselves known


    Beat them to death with a bag of frozen peas.

    No, srsl, i'd probably just use them to form a dog sled. But not in a sexual way... it'd just be really funny.

    Then not funny...

    ... the peas...
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:39 No.16576503

    Flee. Flee while you still can. This white knight shall cover your escape.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:39 No.16576504
    FUCK i mean come on

    will i have to use the same out fit for the rest of my life

    i might stab some of you guys just to change clothes
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)00:39 No.16576505
    If you work your sex right, you could be queen of the pimply fatasses.

    I mean, it's not much, but it's better than what'd happen to you in the /b/ Costco...
    >> James Joyce 10/10/11(Mon)00:40 No.16576513
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    Speaking of guuuuurls.

    You know what I can imagine? /fit/ digs a tunnel over to /cgl/ and all the women go "Oh look at those big rugged brutes! Please don't touch us there silly boys~ WAIT COME BACK DON'T LEAVE US I'LL SUCK YOUR DICK".
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:41 No.16576515
    Oh man, imagine /cgl/ costco.
    >> James Joyce 10/10/11(Mon)00:41 No.16576524
    Because Costco doesn't sell clothes right?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:41 No.16576525
    /tg/ would burn to the ground.
    We'd have a massive civilar war between 3.5 and 4.
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)00:42 No.16576527
    (oh, then you'll hate this)

    His face and hands smudged with dirt from a long day working in the "fields," 'Johnny Smith' as he's come to be known, makes the long walk toward the bathrooms to use his bi-daily wash rations. A few extra oreos in the guard's hand, and he's assured an additional 15 minutes of "personal time."

    Alone at the sink, he pulls out a tattered pad of paper and begins furiously writing.

    "Day 22 of my infiltration. The slime infesting the halls of my kingdom are more resilient than I thought. Despite using automotive holy water to smite their crops and purify their libations, their accursed "phar-macee" has thwarted my attempts to assassinate their leader. The Celebrated One and his contemptuous shrew fancy themselves monarchs."

    "They have yet to see the face of true power."

    "They have yet to meet the King of Chex!"
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:42 No.16576528
    >Being interested in women
    What world are you living in?
    They'd mine for the sake of mining, and just lift all day.
    And end up fighting themselves to the death once Oats supplies start running low
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:42 No.16576533
    Don't make me dig out the /cgl/ vomit screenshot.
    You know which one.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:44 No.16576548
    >Dig into an empty Costco
    >It has rotting food everywhere
    >Just one guy walking around, trying to show off some of his pictures from when he visited Paris
    Forever /trv/
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:44 No.16576550
    wut ? i need to buy then ??

    wtf lucky I got this knife

    prepare for trouble /tg/
    >> Gravefather Nito 10/10/11(Mon)00:44 No.16576552

    Costco has clothes. And washing machines.

    Gravefather Nito prepares his fields with starchy foods. Potatoes are the primary export of the duchy. Followed closely by carrots and beans.
    Gravefather Nito decides it best to investigate the growing of wild rice and beans. The staple of many countries as a source of protein as it will be our only renewable form of it. Until we figure out peanut butter.

    As a sign of good faith to the miners Gravefather Nito offers them one hot meal a day for their services. Do the miners accept?
    >> James Joyce 10/10/11(Mon)00:44 No.16576553
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    That's the joke

    Also, I am so taking over you fucks if we hit /fit/ because they'll all work for me since I have all the protein powder and healthy shit.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:45 No.16576560
    Their king would have the mightiest thighs ever witnessed.
    His name is T-Rex
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 10/10/11(Mon)00:45 No.16576565
    I'm fairly sure that /b/ would be in the middle of a civil war when they first start off.

    /v/ we will have to watch.

    /k/ /sci/ and /fit/ we will also have to watch, and potentially ally with.

    However you are right. We will want to start on immediate fortifications. I'd say a third of us focus on that, another third on the farming and the remaining third work on whatever else becomes neccessary.

    We will also have to secure the Internet borders of /tg/ as well. That may prove to be more difficult, but as long as we remain quiet about what we are really doing, and subtle in our dealings with the other boards, we should be fine.

    Now, quick question, do Costco's have a sporting/hunting section? Because if they do, then we have guns. And if we have guns, we are that much more well off for invading other boards.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:45 No.16576566
    Oh man, /g/ would have some supercomputer
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:46 No.16576571
    With Gentoo on it.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:47 No.16576577
    That's the problem.

    You're going to have lots of people uneasy or just outright hostile against the fact that certain people control things or are ordering them around.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:47 No.16576578
    You know we could just co-opt some other random board to discuss stuff.
    Stop visiting 4chan, tell everyone to communicate on some board dedicated to European Gold Finches or something
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:47 No.16576581
    Wait, max weight is whatever I can carry?
    . . .
    Lots of topsoil, part of a compost heap, canned food, maybe a rifle and ammo if I can slap it on top, and some tools. I'll trust you other fags to get other essentials.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:48 No.16576587
    Diganons bring up a good point - Are these Costcos separated by the same physical distance as IRL, or are they scattered around in a three-dimensional plane of Poor Quality Sediment?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:49 No.16576592
    I'll bring my plastic fruit and monogrammed fake mustaches
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:49 No.16576601
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    /fit/ will be too busy out-alphaing each other to organize and track other Costcos down.

    /v/ is the board to fear. Yeah, bunch of kids and fatasses, but they'll think to strike other stores as well. They'll have a semblance of strategy and numbers to support them. For /v/ is legion.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)00:49 No.16576602
    So it was that the crops failed, the only seeds shriveled, and /tg/Costco calculated its food supply at three days.

    The farmers tore themselves apart with blame, and, despondent, the survivors rampaged through the store. Dozens died.

    The upheaval destroyed much of the canned food aisle, limiting supplies even further.

    The end approached, as members of the Mining Corps dug shallow graves for the fallen.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:49 No.16576607

    I know I will personally incite rebellion if someone tries to pull this shit.

    Communism is for the best in this situation. Everyone gets what they need. Everyone does what is needed.
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)00:49 No.16576609

    Johnny Smith whistles a jaunty tune. The garden implement he uses in the mines is small, but sturdy. He works mostly digging out supports as the permanent network of tunnels expands.

    "Soon," he mutters in-between songs. "Soon now."
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:50 No.16576610
    pretty sure they don't

    the real question is, what movies would we bring?
    costco has a shit ton of really nice tvs and I know for sure I'm bringing my complete series M*A*S*H set
    >> James Joyce 10/10/11(Mon)00:50 No.16576611
    How long until the one guy on /3/ kills himself?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:50 No.16576613
    Scattered around in a three-dimensional plane of Poor Quality Sediment
    >> Ross 10/10/11(Mon)00:50 No.16576621
    I actually think we'd have more of a chance than others. /tg/ has a large population of young teens with a vast array of skillsets, and the simple ability that we're tactically aligned, do stuff like this in our heads, have a plan, and can figure out what the hell's going on...

    Plus, any girls that show up will probably be more than capable of defending themselves, and those idiots that think otherwise will be outnumbered by the "moralfags".

    I kinda want a quest-style game now. Hrm.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:51 No.16576625
    /v/ is a bunch of 14 year old betas.
    /trv/ would be the board to fear.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:51 No.16576626
    dra-dra-DRAMA everywhere oh god.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:51 No.16576627
    Guys, what do we do with the sediment when we're digging? This isn't video games. It doesn't just vanish
    >> James Joyce 10/10/11(Mon)00:52 No.16576631
    Dig a whole to put it in.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:52 No.16576634
    eat it
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:53 No.16576643
    /y/ and /cm/ would die first, those hambeasts couldn't last an hour without seeing some homosexual sex.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:53 No.16576648
    Maybe he rigs the entire Costco to explode, to see if the other stores feel the shockwave.
    Or maybe he just browses the internet for years, it becomes like I am legen, until one day, he hears digging.
    Finding out that it is likely someone else, his Utopia is about to start crumbling around him
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)00:53 No.16576649

    Actually, much of it has been disappearing, mysteriously.

    As have a few miners foraging for low-grade foodstuffs in between frozen foods and cereals. The foreman of the mining corps. has put out a reward of 2 beers to anyone with information as to their whereabouts.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:53 No.16576650

    And the dirt we take out of that hole? Another hole, perhaps? Let me save you some time. Eventually we start recycling holes, infinitely running out of space for our excess dirt.
    >> James Joyce 10/10/11(Mon)00:53 No.16576653

    I just realized that the Pharmacy at a Costco has adult diapers! If we ever come across /d/ I am set for life.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:53 No.16576656
    Mix it with alcohol.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 10/10/11(Mon)00:54 No.16576657
    This is true. We will have to initiate contact and make sure that board stays secure. Then we can proceed to fuck over the other boards with our new allies.

    I'd imagine that /a/ and /c/ be our first targets.
    >> Ross 10/10/11(Mon)00:54 No.16576658
    Dump it in the middle area, where the farms are going. At some point, I assume we'll hit something... didn't really think of that though. Good point
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)00:54 No.16576660
    You ever been in the back rooms of stores? Huge tracts of empty space. We'll be fine for a while. There are probably crawlspaces and whatnot, too.

    We're not going to be digging out any underground cities, though, unless we find some natural caverns, or the trash chute in the back functions as a magical disposal, like how the sinks magically generate water and the vents magically generate air.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:55 No.16576663
    what are jokes
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:55 No.16576665
    The plumbing still works.
    Find some way to get excess dirt to be removed by the waste pipes
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:55 No.16576666
    What use would we have for obese, misogynistic neckbeards?
    >> Gravefather Nito 10/10/11(Mon)00:55 No.16576670
    If we're digging to other boards we need a militia. I'd be more than happy to lead a group of scouts for when the miners finally break through. Those other boards are going to be scary places since we have no idea what store we find until we're actually there.

    What we hope to be /3/ could be /b/ or /x/. God knows /x/ would be full of aberrations that they've somehow summoned.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:56 No.16576672

    Actually, this reminds me; somebody needs to bring along something fizzy so we can start up a brewery. Also potatoes.


    I'm really hoping this is the elemental plane of earth, and there are occasional caves and such so we can actually expand somewhere.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:56 No.16576677
    I could be the Priest of Costco. Who would lead the processions that venerate our Father for the bountiful gifts he gives us.
    I've already got a funny hat and can talk in gibberish.
    >> F-H 10/10/11(Mon)00:57 No.16576681
    we need laws. without at least a senate or something for people to talk in we'd fall into civil war. we're better than /b/. we wouldn't kill each other right off the bat. right guys? guys?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:57 No.16576685
    We should try to find and ally with /k/ and /fit/.
    With them we can't be beat.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:58 No.16576687
    You do realize /k/ will become a band of raiders, as every single citizen will be armed, likely with multiple fire arms.
    That is, after about 50% of their population is weeded out in the first week
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:58 No.16576691
    I don't think Costco sells guns.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:59 No.16576693
    So who here is willing to take orders from a complete stranger?

    Who here is willing to accept that a complete stranger will now be deciding what he gets to eat, what medicine he has access to etc etc?

    Who here, upon arriving in the Costco, will automatically look to the oldest guy, probably some 30-40 fool who thought posting in this thread would be entertaining? Who amongst us would automatically try to be the dominant one when we introduce ourselves and try and figure out what to do?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:59 No.16576694
    Raiders can be bought.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)00:59 No.16576695
    If all else fails, you can brew wine out of grape juice concentrate, which Costco has. Get a couple of mason jars and bottling supplies (which they also have), and we could get a decent still set up.

    We should get the miners on a weapons training rotation. They're going to be our buffest sumbitches. I'm a black belt. I could help with that, once the farms are set up.
    >> James Joyce 10/10/11(Mon)00:59 No.16576697
    Does anyone have an actually labeled floorplan of a Costco store? I want to start a map.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:59 No.16576698
    why not an autocracy?
    I wouldn't mind serving king neckbeard I
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 10/10/11(Mon)00:59 No.16576699
    So... who wants to start a Costco Quest thread?

    All in favor?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:59 No.16576705

    We have a chance to finally abolish religion. Will you not take it?
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)00:59 No.16576708

    Your fledgling faith recieves an anonymous and large donation of building materials: Some scaffolding that went missing from the mines a few weeks ago, part of a go-kart, 2 unassembled play houses and 1 roll of duct tape.

    Perhaps your faith is real, after all?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:00 No.16576711
    Is the store entirely engulfed by sediment with no chance to see the sun again? So we don't have, say, the top of the store as an option?

    I certainly believe /trv/ would be a problem to encounter. I see them expanding beyond the store, but reaching others? I dunno.

    The /v/ horde runs on high-sugar carbonation and caffeine. Don't count them out, even if some succumb to diabeetus or heart attacks.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:00 No.16576712
    Does getting my gun and ammo, my sword, and gearing up for everything/one we may end up needing to "volunteer" (read: enslave) sound like a bad idea?

    If so, too bad for them, huh?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:01 No.16576726
    The leader should be decided by who can say the most Monty Python quotes.
    Who ever says 'he's not the disciple', 'Tis only a flesh wound' 'Knights who say Ni' etc shall be given twenty lashes.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:01 No.16576734
    You kidding? TG would Suvive without going mad by playing pnp games untill we all died out..
    its /k/ that worries me....
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:02 No.16576739

    Favor! Favor!
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:02 No.16576748
    I chose to strap my huge fat body with 230 lbs of c4, and detonate when i spawn. Those few who live should be fine if they go slow on the food, costco can probably feed 4-5 people for a lifetime if they grow things as well. Of those who live, game on!
    >> James Joyce 10/10/11(Mon)01:03 No.16576751
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    Good thing the Pharmacy has insulin!

    Oh wait! Looks like your MY trap fuckbitch
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 10/10/11(Mon)01:03 No.16576752
    A witch! A witch! We have found a witch! May we burn her?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:03 No.16576753
    >with the objects on your person (what you are wearing and holding, your weight is the max you can carry).
    They all have guns within 15 minutes of them,
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:03 No.16576756

    This plan is getting entirely too silly!
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:03 No.16576760
    But...but...my funny hat.
    This calls for a festival.
    It will be held on the 26th December and shall be called 'Costcomas'.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)01:04 No.16576771
    I assume a lot of infighting will occur, but several of us immediately started working together for planning the farms just in this thread. I figure several key areas will just autonomously come together, and the rest will realize we've got shit to do.

    /tg/'s motto used to be that we get shit done.

    You start it sometime I'm not about to go to bed (that is, not now), and I'm game (to play. Running one quest is enough for now).

    I just see /trv/ despairing once they realize they'll never see the sun or robust foreign climes again, and sort of wilting away. Even if they don't, I don't see them as the raiding types.

    You can bring...people...with you?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:05 No.16576777
    I don't trust an Irish man with a fart fetish with my medicine.
    Revolt, I say! Revolt!
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:06 No.16576782
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    Not enough to keep my alive forever...

    That said, why not send me as a trap bitch whore envoy that's secretly an assassin to other boards?
    You can actually easily assassinate somebody with insulin, at least if they don't have proper medical assistance, which they won't.

    You can call me... The Shadow Cock.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:06 No.16576791
    >grab mah guns
    >build a fort in the junk food isle from twinkie and hoho boxes

    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:07 No.16576794
    Some people will have to bring a lot of weapons, because I think most of us don't have them, or much less even know how to use them.
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)01:07 No.16576799
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    "Day 49 of my infiltration."

    Clad in crudely fashioned overalls one or two sizes too small, the figure kneels on the floor of the mine like a reverent muslim, his scrawlings barely illuminated by the solitary LED given to each worker.

    "My cover is in jeopardy as this "Muh-Leesha" begins to form. If they find other "Warhouses," will they submit to my authority? I must return to Dreadfortress Chex tonight and check the traps. One of the scrawny ones went missing and they're starting to get suspicious..."
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:07 No.16576800

    Looks like somebody mixed ome /d/ in with my /tg/. . .
    >> James Joyce 10/10/11(Mon)01:08 No.16576810
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    But...I would be lonely without you! You could rule beside me over all of Pharmaci until the end of your days!

    Would you care to have a trade agreement/alliance of sorts?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:08 No.16576811
    OP's been busy
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:09 No.16576814
    /b/, /a/ and /v/ are not a concern.

    There is so many of them that they'd run out of food pretty soon, not only that but each one eats enough for 3 regular humans.
    They'd also bring useless shit like video games and anime.
    So if we reach their CostCos we'd find nothing but skeletons, like a scene from a bad sci-fi.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:09 No.16576820
    Well, my first move would be to create a meritocracy where leadership is designated by IQ, because it pretty much will happen that way anyway, except it can take way longer... There will be no government, for everyone will be a part of it, but the main council will comprise of the most intelligent.

    As first act i'd disguise our costco as /k/s costco with big removable signs. Get everyone to pretend to be /k/ denizens. This will protect us from raids from starving boards.

    I'd also suggest tactical battles in various games to promote and discern the greatest tactical minds for warfare.

    The problem of sharing everything is a tough one. I’d allow people to own and trade property. But it would probably have to be limited to a certain weight… at least until we can self sustain… which may take several years… People also have the right to refuse the IQ test and speak their minds, however there isn’t a great improvement in doing so if your not the genius leader.
    Consider for a moment that most boards may not have a genius as leader, it may simply be a warmonger, nor will they have the tactical assets we have... perhapse traiding is a good path.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:10 No.16576824
    >grab milk, whey and tuna, then fap in them all
    /fit/- survival experts
    >> Crix !!nLvSV/0cRma 10/10/11(Mon)01:10 No.16576825
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    >They'd also bring useless shit like video games and anime.

    oh right and anonymous over here is going to bring a universal replicator right?
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 10/10/11(Mon)01:10 No.16576826
    Since no one else seems to have claimed the position, I will be our militia Tactician.

    Having ruled out /k/ /fit/ /sci/ and /trv/ as potential raiding targets, that still leaves us with plenty of choices.

    I suggest we avoid /d/ and /b/ for now. Who knows what kind of monstrosities they would have become by the time we get there.

    /a/ and /c/ are likely to be weak, hampered by their lack of skills and innate weabooness. They would make decent targets, I'd imagine.
    /po/ would also be a good target, as they are primarily paperworkers.

    /ck/ would be good to trade info with, or possibly trade goods, as they can cook, which means a lot when you run out of prepared meals.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:10 No.16576830
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    ok so i just got a oreos supply and some beer

    where i can hang out ?

    are we gonna get guilds and stuff ??
    >> Ross 10/10/11(Mon)01:11 No.16576834
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    Hark! A map! The few inhabitants of Lawful Evil seem to have vastly overestimated their attraction and wanted territory. Most of the people that aren't working hang around in The Gathering, forty feet off the ground, but there are still people that just sleep in the aisles. A few level-headed people have kept crime at a minimum, and the tactic that noone withholds aid from anyone, and everyone works, seems to be working out well. Our miners have made significant progress to the "south", although we can't really tell. The farms are going strong, although it'll take some time to start growing stuff...
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:12 No.16576843


    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:12 No.16576847
    >contact /an/,/x/, and, guess, /v/
    Inform them /k/ can offer protection and give them our coordinates via Google earth
    When they come , kill the men, take the women.

    /k/ Plans to kill off other boards and hoard women, I suggest we begin gathering intel on other boards, with the internet still up, information becomes the second most valuable form of currency, the first being food.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:12 No.16576850
    Late to the thread. I grab my camping backpack that I have fully stocked with emergency (albeit outdoors) survival gear, sleeping bag, personal tent, hiking boots w/ reinforced heels and steel toes, sleeping padding, pillow, colt .45 (pistol not booze), 2 boxes of ammo, rapier, laptop, and rpg rulebooks. Let's rock.
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)01:12 No.16576851

    A thin man wearing a threadbare suit approaches you in food court.

    "I heard that someone was trying to start up an independent adventurer's guild. Who can I talk to about getting some help finding the miners that have been going missing?
    >> The Shadow Cock !cF7p2dNB2w 10/10/11(Mon)01:13 No.16576856
    See, I don't think we need to focus on aggression immediately. It's stated that very well the other boards could be far away. It would take considerable supplies to start a mining operation to the other boards, assuming you'll even necessary ever hit one through your tunnel system, as we'll have little way to check how close we are without direct cooperation between boards via online communication.
    We can also purposefully collapse any tunnels made by other boards if necessary.

    Recyclable water and food is absolutely necessary. One can hope that the roof is available for sunlight and rainfall, so we can grow crops and collect food.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:13 No.16576857
    So far we have Lawful Evil Farmers, James Joyce ruling over the Pharmacy with a trap, and some crazy Chex king.
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 10/10/11(Mon)01:13 No.16576863
    Well snaps. My work computer complete with wacom is gonna be tellyported along with me and a comfy office chair.
    I'll be drawfaggin' to survive. Or be the comm center of the place.
    >> James Joyce 10/10/11(Mon)01:14 No.16576869
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    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:14 No.16576870
    You guys are forgetting /k/ will absolutely dominate every other board.

    It's not just that they have weapons, it's that all the active and ex-military members have something in common and that all of them are accustomed to following orders and working for the greater good of the group and not themselves. Most of them also already have survival and first aid training. Most of them are well-adapted to stressful situations.

    that and they've already mentioned in their thread that they're going to raid /soc/ for the bitches. /tg/ did we think of that?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:14 No.16576871
    Well I have 5 in my backyard.
    So our leaders will be very good at recognising shapes and patterns? That'll be useful if we ever get invaded by quadrilaterals.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:15 No.16576876

    >Chex King

    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 10/10/11(Mon)01:15 No.16576880
    Damnation! Our initial advantage of suprise is lost. We will have to prepare. War will soon happen. It is inevitable. Every man or woman who knows how to use a weapon, begin training others.

    Builders will need to reinforce the entrances and we will want to set up defences in depth. I suggest that if worst come to worst, be prepared to cede less important parts of the Costco, such as the clothing section.
    Traps would be good.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:15 No.16576881
    Yes, but we can make lots and lots of traps, and are better at tunneling.
    Oh god, /tg/ is vietcong
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:15 No.16576882
    Sperm is high in protein
    We don't negotiate with terrorists.
    /soc/ is full of chubby bitches. I'd rather have my hand.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:16 No.16576884
    As a native of /toy/ myself, only recently immigrating to /tg/, allow me to tell you that the place is ripe for picking. Slim chances of women, but the populace is sluggish and petty enough to crush.

    And then I will have all of the toys.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:16 No.16576886
    /k/ is full of 13 year old gun faggots and Europeans with gun laws so strict that they can only bemoan their sorry state in life
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:16 No.16576894
    Can I be Ho Chi Minh?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:18 No.16576900
    This guilds look lame

    i want to hang out in the bakery we can play pretend. I'm not actually fat so should be girls there to.

    also delicious oreosbread come at me bros
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)01:18 No.16576902
    Are the LE farmers running the farm? I'm confused.

    Huh. I was just going to grab my books, my hat, and see if I can drive to the plant store and buy a bunch of seeds and shit. Or should I go to Wal-Mart?

    Who sells food seeds?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:18 No.16576903
    What did the negative horse say?
    >> James Joyce 10/10/11(Mon)01:18 No.16576905
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    What if Jin comes with them? Fucking cult right there man.


    Lord Chex could be a powerful ally...
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 10/10/11(Mon)01:18 No.16576913
    I have done a quick recon of /sci/

    They are useless to us. They complain about the abundance of resources, commit foul acts with calculators and other such nonsense.

    We will raid them, take their food and supplies and leave them to starve.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:18 No.16576914
    Other threads found
    >> James Joyce 10/10/11(Mon)01:19 No.16576919
    >Will their still be free samples

    Oddly enough, /b/ has asked the only sensible question.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:20 No.16576923
    Man....this game sucks.
    Can I at least be Le Duan?
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 10/10/11(Mon)01:21 No.16576934
    Argh. This guy had to run his mouth.

    Now /k/ knows that we know and will come after us. We must set up the defences with speed.
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)01:21 No.16576935
    ((Working on a 1d4chan page))

    "Muhahahah! Another hapless fool caught in my clutches!"

    Layers of cardboard armor weighed heavily on the Chex King's taught cords of sinew. Though, his failures weighed upon him even more heavily. Of the adventurers he'd managed to trick into braving the traps of Dreadfortress Chex, none had succumbed to his "hypnosis."

    His latest test subject, a former militiaman relieved of duty due to his preference for dark eldar above all other armies (A sign of obvious lunacy), had lasted longer than the rest. Finally, after days with neither meatbread nor mountain dew, he succumbed to starvation.

    The Chex King continued his evil monologue for a while longer, enjoying the echo of his voice from within the corrugated halls of his fortress. It was nice not to be alone.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:21 No.16576938
    No, but you may be El Cid. The vietnamese version.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:21 No.16576939

    other treads are killing each other

    i think we are fine

    Any one wanna joing Oreos Breado at the bakery
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:21 No.16576942
    We have reason to believe that you've been involved in human trafficking.
    Do you confirm these suspicions?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:21 No.16576944
    Jin's supporters are not plenty. He's far more likely to be lynched or ostracized by the time we make contact, and is of little concern. Probably wastes most of his carry on his grandma-wife too.

    However, beware the Nerf guard, for they have... rubbery darts. And the Chogokins. Solid diecast, sharp edges, firing missile fists...
    >> Ernest Hemmingway 10/10/11(Mon)01:21 No.16576945
    As a resident pharmfag, I will ally myself with anyone who offers me decent protection. Also, I would probably be able to procure a very large amount of weed from my roomate's stash, if we need that as a trade resource.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:22 No.16576948
    Dude, everyone is dead.
    Hmm, I'd grab my Dog (if alive), and would drive to the local LCBO, stock up on bottles of Captain Morgan.
    Because fuck it, who doesn't want some nice Rum?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:23 No.16576950
    Cool, time to create my own CostCo.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)01:23 No.16576952
    We're consolidating power, not raiding popular NSFW boards for chubby whores...

    >/tg/ is vietcong


    You should definitely put links back and forth between that and http://1d4chan.org/wiki/4chan_Archipelago

    They are basically the same idea.
    >> The Shadow Cock !cF7p2dNB2w 10/10/11(Mon)01:23 No.16576958
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    That was fun.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:24 No.16576959
    I'll take control of the meat section and we can create pork oreo bread.

    We'll be rich.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 10/10/11(Mon)01:24 No.16576964
    /v/ has just been notified of our intent by an assassin. They are also weak, and useless. Their supplies shall go to further the Imperium of /TG/

    Soon, the only ones that will stand in our way shall be /k/
    >> James Joyce 10/10/11(Mon)01:25 No.16576969
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    I have done no such thing and frankly you insult me sir. But, perhaps I have acted to rashly with my threats. I supposed we can negotiate.

    I shall make you a Duke and you can rule by my side! The Pharmacy has begun to get crowded! I say we annex the isle next to us! What say you?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)01:25 No.16576972
    You bring up a very important question:

    From where is this Costco? What alcohol laws are there?

    In my state, all stores like Costco can sell is extremely watered down beer. If I drive an hour over the state line, there's a Costco with liquor store inside the Costco.

    What sort of alcohol situation are we looking at? It'll make a difference for what proportions of shit we'll be farming (somebody bring hops!)
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:25 No.16576973

    this shit will blow farmers ass

    sing me in
    >> Ross 10/10/11(Mon)01:26 No.16576974
    Er- militarize? Really? I get the feeling that if we leave /k/ alone and prepare anyway, we'd be beneath their notice.

    Ross is busy securing more pallets to the roof of the aisle. He chucks a few sleeping bags down and looks around, then pulls a radio out- raided from the staff rooms- and announces to anybody with a radio- "Hey, anybody not working, game tourney in thirty minutes up top." He then sits down and spreads out his notes, shuffling a deck of Magic.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:26 No.16576975
    If the sediment is poor, and they will not restock, then eventually we'll all die.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:26 No.16576979
    On the topic of supplies.
    How much do use little people get?
    When we conquered the hipsters of /mu/ I only got a pittance, and that was a NMH album.
    Whereas the Chex King got thousands of limited edition LPs, some even signed!
    I lost my best roleplaying partner against those damned hipsters, and I demand compensation.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:26 No.16576981
    We could just carve dice out of bone.
    Now that you mention it, you seem like you have good bone stucture, hope you don't mind, we NEED A HAND
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)01:26 No.16576982

    Starting it up! Feel free to make edits!
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:27 No.16576984

    I hope you are the first to hang
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:27 No.16576990
    Is it really...a quest though?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:28 No.16576995
    If I bring yu-gi-oh will I be lynched?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:28 No.16576996
    fuck you

    i also got a gobbo deck here deal with it
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:28 No.16577000

    Please, please be a quest.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:28 No.16577002
    Your wittiness has made me disregard your murderous intent.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)01:29 No.16577004
    I've got dice and some WoD books. Somebody else is going to have to bring the D&D, etc. Though, I suppose I could bring my external HD. It's got loads of RPG books. Somebody bring a laptop.

    (Also, WotC has dicerollers on their site, and we have internet. We can pirate on-site!)

    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)01:30 No.16577011

    The new "arts" annex of Dreadfortress Chex could be seen for three aisles. The spiraling towers of Vinyl and flying buttresses of cassets would have been beautiful if not for the grim gargoyles crudely pasted about the roof. If only they knew of the ongoing progress going on below...
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:30 No.16577013
    But if everyone else in the world is dead, how can we get internet access?
    >> Ernest Hemmingway 10/10/11(Mon)01:31 No.16577024
    The Staff rooms are probably full of untapped treasures, brother.

    I'll be bringing my laptop, my dice, my Kindle. My dropbox has most of the 3.5 books that you need, more 4e books than I can count. Also Call of Cthulu and Rogue Trader.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:31 No.16577025
    Stop that right now! We can't become the next /b/ and devour ourselves. All games shall be welcome, without throwing ourselves into castes based on whether we prefer planeswalkers, wizards, or techpriests.
    >> James Joyce 10/10/11(Mon)01:31 No.16577026

    >> The follower of knowledge 10/10/11(Mon)01:31 No.16577029
    I download as much practical info (first aid, farming, weapon maintenance) grab all my books, then secure myself in the book section (if cosco has one, can't remember) and start reading/trading books.
    >> Ross 10/10/11(Mon)01:31 No.16577032
    Ross raises an eyebrow at you and motions towards the floor. "Be my guest. You heard what happened to the chex guy though." He frowns. "I've got a couple of Pathfinder modules in my backpack though, if you want them."

    Ross grins and pulls out another deck. "Sure! We're having a general game tourney, anything's welcome. I doubt most of you guys showed up without your games."
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:31 No.16577033

    Believe OP said yes.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 10/10/11(Mon)01:31 No.16577034
    /k/ is suffering from divided and fractured leadership, with various factions forming. None seem to agree with the others, but they all want to pillage and rape the other boards.

    /v/ is leaderless and weak.
    /sci/ is the same. Leaderless and without direction.
    /fit/ is mainly peaceful and pacifistic.

    /b/ believes us not to be a threat, and some wish to ally with /k/.

    Transcript from /b/:

    Eventually, I will use my influence to ally with /k. None of the other boards will prove a threat:
    The anime boards will have killed themselves once they realized they are all forty year old men.
    /v will simply set up a large game server and play until their food supply runs out, at which point they will eat each other one by one
    /x will sit around trying to figure out where the fuck everynewt gingrich went
    /adv and /soc will spend weeks awkwardly trying to talk to each other irl
    /sci will have developed advanced farming techniques and water filtration techniques, but starved due to never having done anything with them
    /tv will die one by one as they subconsciously reenact Lost in their heads
    /mu, /fit, /tg, /vp, /g, /lit, and /co will all have ripped each other to shreds over pointless shit within minutes of arriving
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:32 No.16577038
    Why do we allow this Chex, so called King, to rule over us? I've heard he's never even played Chex Quest.

    Revolt, I say! Revolt!
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)01:32 No.16577040
    The Internet's still there. We don't need other people for that.
    >> Ross 10/10/11(Mon)01:33 No.16577049
    I would start one if I didn't have to go to bed. /tg/, I challenge ye to find a worthy GM for this. Preferably OP.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:33 No.16577053
    Cool, I'll bring my Exodia deck (35 pot of greeds, 5 pieces of Exodia)
    >> James Joyce 10/10/11(Mon)01:34 No.16577057
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    The Staff room is too vital a resource to everyone in the store! I am ambitious but not foolish.

    The book section is out in the open in, like, have an isle in most stores friend!
    >> Gravelord Nito 10/10/11(Mon)01:35 No.16577068
    Gravelord Nito accepts that his organization is smaller and less powerful than almost all others. It has been decided that we will wall off our territories to protect ourselves from the prying eyes of the others. Gravelord Nito has decided that his people would be better set to secretly dig out of their holdings and, upon finding another Costco, disappear from /tg/ and cave in their tunnel so their retreat is not discovered.

    We will return. We will return with friends.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:35 No.16577069
    >pull out Slivers deck
    >hanging by noose an hour later, two crumpled Virulents where the eyes once were
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:36 No.16577074
    I'll be in charge of Meat.
    I was a butcher for 20 years, and by butcher I mean meat-eater.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:37 No.16577079

    *Sucks in gut* Alright, I'll see if I've got the time. It's a little late here.
    >> Comeback 10/10/11(Mon)01:37 No.16577081
    Expect some writefaggotry inbound tomorrow. I'm going to do a series about all of this shit.

    Also is this archived yet?
    >> James Joyce 10/10/11(Mon)01:38 No.16577089
    James Joyce offers a crate of supplies for your journey! I only ask that you remember where I stand.
    >> The Shadow Cock !cF7p2dNB2w 10/10/11(Mon)01:40 No.16577106
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    >Implying you aren't bending over whenever I'm around.
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)01:40 No.16577110

    Its on 1d4chan. Updating now!
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)01:41 No.16577115
    We should do this as a quest TOMORROW, as it's really late for the US right now.

    Whoever wants to DM should set a time.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:41 No.16577117

    Could also use some info on what wares costco has, floorplan, etc., if anyone is willing to dig up the necessary links. I'm not actually that huge an expert on the place.
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)01:41 No.16577119
    rolled 11 = 11

    >ctrl + f
    >14 found

    Well at least you all aren't dumb.

    Seeing as how I'm both /tg/ and /k/, i'd be torn on where to go.

    If anything, I'd attempt to secure all of the rice(ALL OF IT), and initiate a /k/-/tg/ cooperative.

    /k/ provides the weapons, weapon and firearm knowledge, and agriculture, /tg/ provides somewhat of the manpower, as well as their own knowledge, and the fact that we're not dumbasses.

    If the treaty goes well, we organize a collective to keep /v/ dumb and disorganized using the video games in the store.

    We assert our dominace peacefully and calmly, and any who wish to challenge us must beat us in three games of our choosing, one of them being rolling a FATAL character without being disgusted.

    If it does not go well, I fall back to /k/, and work from the inside to work on said treaty.

    Sorry guys, but a dice roller's gotta eat.
    >> The follower of knowledge 10/10/11(Mon)01:41 No.16577124
    Ah, thank you my friend, perhaps I could supply you with some books on medicine...
    >> Gravefather Nito 10/10/11(Mon)01:42 No.16577132

    And where is that? It is a pity you found us during our retreat but we are willing to hear your stance.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:43 No.16577136
    /k/ will be in a civil between people who use slavshit and people who use amerishit.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:44 No.16577142
    This thread is reaching post limit.
    How about you guys stew over this thread for a bit, and tomorrow night I make another thread, with more specifics (including the exact size of the store, and other such information)
    >> The Shadow Cock !cF7p2dNB2w 10/10/11(Mon)01:44 No.16577146
    Are we quite certain /k/ is willing to negotiate with us, though? If they're even civil?

    Looking through their thread, they can't even decide who the leader is as they're all busy comparing dick sizes.
    Even if they manage to unite under some gladitorial flag, I doubt they'll want to cooperate us without screwing us over eventually.

    Also it's funny to see you outside of Minecraft.
    >> Ross 10/10/11(Mon)01:44 No.16577149
    /k/ seems intent on open warfare. We're keeping our shit out of that, but we're welcome to peaceful relations.
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)01:45 No.16577152
    rolled 14 = 14

    >/k/ will be in a civil between people who use slavshit and people who use amerishit.

    Actually, I don't think that'll be as big as a problem.

    Beacause regardless of if you're using slavshit, amerishit, or even brazilshit, you're still not a NOGUNZ.

    And in an actual emergency such as this? Petty differences will be put aside to assert dominance.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:46 No.16577158
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    That doesn't even make sense.

    James Joyce offers you sanctuary in Pharmaci! I only ask you relocate your books here!

    That is for me to decide. Only know that I offer you my assistance in our time of strife.

    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 10/10/11(Mon)01:46 No.16577161
    /k/ is heavily divided. There are several factions all hostile to one another and everyone else.
    /v/ is weak and leaderless.
    /b/ is ignorant, weak and leaderless.
    /sci/ also weak and leaderless.
    /fit/ is a pacifistic.
    Everyone else is unaware.

    As for a quest thread, if no one else has made one before I get up tomorrow, I'll make one. It'll be my first Quest though...
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)01:46 No.16577162
    Set a time!

    When should I be here to look?

    I'd suggest earlier than 0:02 servertime, personally. Like, 6 or 7.
    >> James Joyce 10/10/11(Mon)01:47 No.16577167
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)01:47 No.16577168

    Updated with some faction and such. Still trying to upload the map. Feel free to correct!
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:47 No.16577169

    I'd be willing to DM, starting sometime around 16:00 PM 4chan time.
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)01:47 No.16577171
    rolled 11 = 11

    It depends. On one hand, they could go fucking nuts with the apocalyptic fanboys getting their wish, killing indiscriminately, on the other, you could get a group of civil, sane firearms owners, just as most firearm owners are.

    The whole fact about /k/ and 4chan as a whole, is the anonimity. When a situation like this arrises, that's gone. And you have to deal with, in person, what you said and did.

    Also, I've been too busy writing to even /play/. What became of the server?
    >> Gravefather Nito 10/10/11(Mon)01:48 No.16577174

    We do not need your supplies. We have provided enough for our journey. Though your gesture will be... remembered.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:48 No.16577175
    >It'll be my first Quest though.

    We'll be gentle. Promise.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:48 No.16577176
    Hey man, what happens when the representative of /d/ calls your FATAL bluff?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:48 No.16577177
    >24 hour clock

    Fuck ignore the PM.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:48 No.16577178

    My second decision as councilman of the intellects,

    Would be to create a militia of our finest, not-fatasses. Criteria for entry will be negotiable. You will complete a fitness test to see how many relay runs you can do as the timer speeds up, requiring you to complete them faster at the end. This is called a bleep test and is used to train the police.If you have high fitness but low intellect then you may join. If you have high intellect but are fat you may still join, but your IQ points must balance out the bleep test time you were able to get, and still produce a decent positive number. However the system will be broadly, train-into rather than exclude-out-of.
    The milita will get the best food, weapons and armour. They will be trained, above all else, to resist pain until a bullet wound is no more severe than a bruise. This is how we will defeat /k and their limited ammunition supply. They will be hit constantly and fight. From then on. The women will be honour bound to surrender their first born to the militia. We will then basically follow the movie 300.

    Our primary weapons will be the slingshot and spear. Our armour will be made from objects which are judge to be made of high grade steel, if necessary, heated and hammered into shape. We will also use lacquered leather if we can find some.

    We will ride our trusty gay-sled into battle.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)01:48 No.16577180
    Let me be the first to welcome you to being a questmaster, then!

    It's fun, if you keep your shit together.
    >> James Joyce 10/10/11(Mon)01:49 No.16577183
    >unrecognized state
    High Alchemist makes up for it.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 10/10/11(Mon)01:49 No.16577184
    I feel sad that I am not in the article. That said, there is always tomorrow to make a name for myself.
    >> The Shadow Cock !cF7p2dNB2w 10/10/11(Mon)01:49 No.16577185
    The Shadow works in mysterious ways.

    Also we'll be receiving large shipments from the /v/ Costco soon, make space.
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)01:50 No.16577196
    rolled 3 = 3

    >Hey man, what happens when the representative of /d/ calls your FATAL bluff?

    Second contest is a 3.5: A Dark and stormy Knight campaign, where a group of 4 must run through the campaign as fast and healthily as possible.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)01:52 No.16577206
    (Did I just suggest 6 in the morning? Yeesh. I meant more like 18 or 19. Shit)

    We wrap them in diapers and fuck them. It's /d/. That's all they wanted, anyway.

    Where the hell are you planning to find lacquered leather in a fucking Costco? I don't know that you've got the IQ for this.
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)01:53 No.16577215
    rolled 4 = 4


    Or..you know..we could just..bring guns.
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)01:54 No.16577220
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)01:54 No.16577223
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    rolled 12 = 12

    Fucking picture.
    >> The follower of knowledge 10/10/11(Mon)01:54 No.16577224
    The follower of knowledge is not allied to one man or one kingdom, but to his pursuit of knowledge, that said I would appreciate shelter in your lands for the time being.
    Oh, alchemy you say? I might have an old sciecie textbook in here... Aha! here it is, now do you want the chemistry section, or the whole book?
    >> Gravefather Nito 10/10/11(Mon)01:54 No.16577225
    The Lawful Evil Farmers were Gravefather Nito. They always have been. There were two farming organizations. The Lawful Evil Farmers did well but were eventually shunned for their... less than kind tactics when compared the the Enlightened One.

    Clearly he was Neutral Good.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)01:55 No.16577228
    Same here. It's alright, though. We'll find our places.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:56 No.16577237

    The velum of our enemies... or alternativly. We breed the rats.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:56 No.16577238
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    Okay, OP here, I am going to lay out some more information.
    The Costco in question is the one within Hillsboro OR.
    I have had some troubles getting some specifics on Square Feet, but I can tell you the following.
    It is the largest in the world
    It contains the following departments
    >Gas Station
    >Fastfood stand
    >Does not sell Hard Liquor
    >Auto Repair Shop
    >Has a florist, and Gardenning Department
    >2 story tall coffee roaster in center
    >Healthcare/nutrition section,
    >Around 250,000 square feet, at least
    >> The Shadow Cock !cF7p2dNB2w 10/10/11(Mon)01:57 No.16577246
    Server's still going. Might be adding griefer-deterrants. There's a forum now.

    Still don't trust /k/, though. If anything, we should leave them to their own volition and wait for them to come to us. We can go from there.
    >> Ross 10/10/11(Mon)01:58 No.16577249
    Ross hears you out and frowns. "You intend to do /what/ with rifle rounds? Good luck with that." He leans back, shrugging. "I'm on hand if you need any instruction with blades and whatnot. Just remember- let us not march to war for only a pittance. As the world ends, we must work for survival, not destruction." He looks around the aisle-tower of the Palletians, and then grins slightly, rolling over to sleep.

    I'm in for whatever comes up. Should we go for an archive of this as well? Quickly?
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 10/10/11(Mon)01:58 No.16577251
    Well, I now have a name to live up to. I am the former Warlord of the Freezers turned tactical advisor of Greater /TG/.

    And stop leaving the door the Fortress open! Honestly... anyone could walk right in...
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:58 No.16577253
    I heard fiocchi doesnt run so good in every type...

    Anyway we could do a metro 2033 and trade those as money...
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:58 No.16577254
    >Does not sell Hard Liquor
    Well we are all gonna die
    >> Ernest Hemmingway 10/10/11(Mon)01:58 No.16577255
    I would appreciate any books that you might have on Chemistry or Anatomy to supplement mine own supply of Organic Chemistry and Pharmicology textbooks.

    Many of my books are digital, but alas I would be willing to trade you some fiction that I have. Would you accept hardback copies of Game of Thrones or Wheel of Time?
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)01:58 No.16577257
    rolled 17 = 17

    >Gas Station

    10% of all gas left will be requisitioned by /tg/'s Army Corps of Engineers for defensive and offensive weaponry.

    I think /k/ will back us up on that one, if we split it down the middle.
    >> James Joyce 10/10/11(Mon)01:59 No.16577266
    If you will not ally with me I demand payment for the protection I offer. A book a day.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:59 No.16577267
    No. Our first priority is resources- that being food.

    We then need to sort out a proper chain of command and as much as I don't want to admit it, a military-style chain of command with competent leaders is the best way to getting things done at the start. However, any leaders need to recognize and understand that being a leader is a very hard responsibility and nothing else. Things like 'your men eat first before you do' will decide whether the rest of /tg/ are okay with being told what to do.

    We can start scouting out suitable people for a militia while we set up resources. People with decent fitness and who seem to be coping well with pressure should be asked if they want to volunteer as defenders of /tg/costco in case we are under attack.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:01 No.16577282
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    Submit, go along with plans of strong authorities
    >> The Shadow Cock !cF7p2dNB2w 10/10/11(Mon)02:01 No.16577283
    >gardening center
    Damn, we're in business.
    Crops, crops everywhere.

    As it were, I request a small section for toxic and poisonous plants for my personal uses. Extra bagged fertilizer for making bombs, as well.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:01 No.16577284
    No hard liquor? Well fuck that plan then.

    Why exactly can't we venture outside?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:01 No.16577287
    This pleases the high council of the intellects. Alcohol is a depressant, but coffee is a stimulant. We will germinate the beans instead of roasing them.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)02:02 No.16577290
    >Gas Station

    That's...cool, I guess. They probably have those generators, so we can set up remote bases in the mines.

    >Fastfood stand

    This and Produce will be our first eats. Super-perishables.

    >Does not sell Hard Liquor


    >Auto Repair Shop

    Oh, there's potential, here.

    >Has a florist, and Gardenning Department

    Victory! Surely, they'll have food seeds! And decent fertilizer to boost our first crops! The Farming Guild claims this!

    >2 story tall coffee roaster in center


    >Healthcare/nutrition section,

    We'll have to partition out the multivitamins, once we're down to basic /tg/-grown crops, and all the original food is gone. Nobody gets ANY vitamins until then, damnit. Pharmacy people need to make sure of that.

    >Around 250,000 square feet, at least

    Pretty damn small, for /tg/. Any larger board is going to be shoulder-to-shoulder. We've got logistics on our side, men!
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)02:02 No.16577294
    rolled 3 = 3

    They won't come to us, though. They won't come to /anyone/. The best thing would be to get a treaty early.

    Besides, we're fucking strategist at heart. It's what we do for FUN.

    And Anti griefing sounds great. Hope my farm is still there.


    The fioochi is lead round, so it's just target ammo. Long as It goes bang, I don't care.

    >Trading bullets
    >Every bullet doesn't work for every caliber
    >End up with FUCKTONS of submarkets for specific ammo.
    >> James Joyce !!qkvhRmgJQNd 10/10/11(Mon)02:03 No.16577297
    And in the event that I'm on for the next thread.
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)02:03 No.16577300

    op, feel free to email me if you want to work on updating the 1d4chan. I feel like we might need to make a new map!
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:03 No.16577301
    >be telleported in a room full of PnP, TT and Card game guys & gal's

    That...wouldn't be that bad actually, at least I won't get bored.
    >> Ross 10/10/11(Mon)02:03 No.16577305
    Oh Cod, here come the self-inserter government system people. Again.

    It's simple. We keep a socialist-style everybody eats society under control. Those fit to fight will fight if the need comes. Those fit to work- the mines, the farms, any handywork- will work daily. Those outsiders that wish to eat will likely be able to get by, but General TG will be the most able to support itself. We don't need to go to civil war over who wants to be the head honcho.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:04 No.16577310
    Because you are in the elemental plane of Poor Quality Sediment.
    If you dig upwards, you get more Sediment
    >> Gravefather Nito 10/10/11(Mon)02:04 No.16577312

    This further adds to the fact that many of the other boards will be... dying to find a new home for some of their members.

    Nito opts to make contact with many of the smaller, less loved boards. We will form our small nation in another store but make sure to open tunnels that connect /b/, /v/, and the riled hordes of /k/ and /fit/ in to /tg/.

    I just wanted to be a farmer.
    >> Ross 10/10/11(Mon)02:06 No.16577327
    Heh. The Hive of Humanity, living within the dirt between the Warehouses...

    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)02:06 No.16577331
    rolled 14 = 14

    >I just wanted to be a farmer.


    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:06 No.16577332
    I will inhabit the garden section. I will be the master of the living green. You may partake of the fruits of my labor, but do not be greedy or think my generosity is weakness. Harm any of the living green, and you will know our wrath.

    I am the Tiger Lily.
    >> Ernest Hemmingway 10/10/11(Mon)02:06 No.16577333
    We've already annexed healthcare/nutrition 35 minutes ago. /fit/ is willing to offer basic services in exchange for Whey and Hydroxycut.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:07 No.16577344
    Honestly, I can't think of a better board to survive this challenge than /tg/... So far as 4chan goes, it's pretty laid back and nice.

    We could probably set up a pretty rockin' socialist system of equality until food got scare.
    >> The follower of knowledge 10/10/11(Mon)02:07 No.16577345
    Ah, another seeker of knowledge, Digital books are not a problem my friend, I raided the external hardrive section, and have about 10 terrabytes of space on my person! Ficton is fine aswell, although I do prefer practical knowledge books.
    That is an unacceptable rate my friend, how many lives can a copy of grays anatomy save? How many people can a single text book educate? One book per 15 days my friend.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:07 No.16577346
    I can't think of any place that's successfully survived without a central authority to guide things.

    But we can avoid the mistakes that our current authorities and politicians make. Any leaders in /tg/costco and especially the farmers/pharmas (aw yeah), must realize that their position is a position of responsibility and not power. Yes they hold the welfare and wellbeing of everyone else in their hands. But they don't hold them in their hands to control them, they hold them in their hands to protect them and care for them.

    tl;dr we need competent leaders.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 10/10/11(Mon)02:08 No.16577349
    Alright, for all of you complaining about the lack of liquor, we have plenty of materials to make it.

    An entire produce sections worth of them. And a home improvment section. That means we have everything we need to set up a still. And the internet can tell us how.

    Once the Farmers set up crops, we play it like Dwarf Fortress, keeping up a constant supply of liquor, using crops and so on.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:08 No.16577351
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:09 No.16577359
    What is all this talk of being allies with other boards
    We need slaves so we can train in warfare to acquire more slaves
    Then we can focus on doing that shit ourselves after our slaves die
    AND I'm your moral guy for the militia I can sing dance and be the first guy to run into the enemy yelling inspirational stuff
    AND yeah another thing, I have a sweet trench coat so you know I'm a badass
    >> James Joyce !!qkvhRmgJQNd 10/10/11(Mon)02:09 No.16577361
    ...You do bring up a good point. It would be selfish to hoard away medicine and knowledge from the masses. 1 per 10 days is my final offer.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:10 No.16577363
         File1318227009.jpg-(18 KB, 320x240, Hankonomics.jpg)
    18 KB
    >Rather then getting shit done, we have poor roleplaying
    >> Gravefather Nito 10/10/11(Mon)02:10 No.16577365

    We debated killing you. But you are OK in Gravefather Nito's tome.

    I suppose we will live in the dirt as well. A single store would have sufficed but why make it easy to find us. We will live in your walls. We will punch small holes in everything that you hold dear. We will simply watch as eventually our tiny alterations crack and tear into an unstoppable landslide. We will bury your people.

    I would have grown soy beans.
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)02:10 No.16577367
    Feel free to change your name on the 1d4.

    Dreadfortress Chex had seen better days. The general no-goodnicking of Gravefather Nito provided a nice cover for the Chex King's schemes. Whenever a miner went missing, Nito was to blame. Whenever crops failed, Nito and his men poisoned them. The people had all but forgotten about the corrugated czar and his castle of cardboard curiosities.

    "That will soon change," he hissed. A pile of garments in the center of the throne room ruffled as though it was afraid of the Crown Prince of Cereal's very voice. Strange, foppish garments...
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)02:11 No.16577372
    >I just wanted to be a farmer

    Don't worry. The Farming Guild isn't going anywhere.

    Even if somebody brings some breeding cattle with them, they'll still need crops to feed the animals. Even a thriving meat industry won't ruin us.

    So, are we still keeping the Miners and the Farmers together, since the first thing we need to mine out is the farms, or are they going to separate?
    >> Ross 10/10/11(Mon)02:11 No.16577373
    Derp, looks like it's been archived. Get in there and vote it up, mates.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:11 No.16577377
    It worked in ww2.

    It will save us from all known pistol rounds for 1-2 direct hits at a range of 25m.
    It will deflect .223 rounds at a range of perhapse 150m
    Anything with a heavyer grain, such as 7.62x51 or x39 will most likly puncture.

    Thus they will be trained in the gun-cata, by our finest geometrists. Beyond that, they will be taught practical military evasive techniques.

    Given that /k has probably ALSO played metro 2033, and has a knowledge of reloading. They will likly down-load their bullets to make more before they find a replacment. Accounting for changes down in ammunition quality as they re-build the bullits this means we can safly say the armour will resist perhapse 2-3 direct hits from most pistol calibers at ranges of 13m. With rifles, we may well be able to get close enough to 75? meters.
    >> James Joyce !!qkvhRmgJQNd 10/10/11(Mon)02:12 No.16577383
    Who the fuck would bring breeding cattle with them?
    >> The Shadow Cock !cF7p2dNB2w 10/10/11(Mon)02:13 No.16577389
    >Not getting shit done
    >Working farm, pharmacy with alchemists, library, militia, and ambassadors

    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)02:14 No.16577395
    rolled 15 = 15

    >We need slaves so we can train in warfare to acquire more slaves

    Slaves are a baaaaaaaaaad idea.

    For one, they're expensive, being livestock and all that. Secondly, you got that whole, free will, uprising and such to deal with.

    And then that's not even taking into account all the trouble you need to keep them from running away.

    As for the engineers/mecanically inclined individuals here, I request a few things.

    1. A good, solid melee weapon.
    2. A Solid (Preferably woodden) table, that's big enough to host a tabletop game session on.

    That is all. But we need a name for our military branch.
    >> Gravefather Nito 10/10/11(Mon)02:14 No.16577396
    Gravefather Nito knows of your pain. We are willing to... accept you. We know where there is Chex. We have more of it from our emptied stores than you'd know what to do with. Gravefather Nito will give you your own store. All you need to do is reach for it.

    We could never have existed together. We wanted to be the only game in town. Now there will be no town.
    >> Ross 10/10/11(Mon)02:15 No.16577397
    Anon was complaining that I was busy playing games instead. Heh.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:15 No.16577401
    >Getting shit done
    And then /tg/ set up a currency system, free healthcare, and schooling for the you-oh wait this is all pretend oh well.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:15 No.16577403
    No adult cattle would fit in the carry limit. Goats, maybe. Bringing calves would be a drain on resources and take too long for payoff, or worse, introduce additional diseases.

    Poultry carries the same disease risk, but are lower-maintenance and we shouldn't have predators. Easy target for thieves though.
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)02:15 No.16577406
    Don't forget about a dark fortress, mysterious jungles AND a wiki!
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:16 No.16577409

    Brother, what is your IQ? None of the council of intellects believe in this 'socialist paradise' you prescribe. Come now, should not each man be judged against all other men?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:17 No.16577412

    I think you're thinking about .22lr ammo here
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:17 No.16577413
    Well, suppose in arms reach I can grab three machetes and two knifes, all real and fit for combat if needed. Don't know what the hell I'm going to do with them though, but they are the closest weapons. I'll probably bring my DnD books, as well as the Necronomicon and associated readings for laughs. Don't care to be in charge, much to lazy to actively partition for a spot of power. Bit of a moralfag too. Don't keep much non-perishables in the house, so bringing food is out honestly. So then... Weapons and books. Yea.

    >Oh god why am I bringing weapons, this will end badly.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:17 No.16577415
    We need to branch out to other boards.

    /v/ and /b/ would be easily taken out, which means a load of supplies for us.
    taking over /fit/ will be difficult, unless we manage to figure out a plan to beat a bunch of muscleheads jacked up on oatmeal.
    /trv/ might be the second hardest, just because they could probably move around easily and get to us already.
    However, don't ever make contact with /k/, because there is no way an army of unorganized /tg/ classmen could take out a fortress set up properly by /k/, which being the paranoid people they are they could set up one and fast.
    >> James Joyce !!qkvhRmgJQNd 10/10/11(Mon)02:17 No.16577417
    Who the fuck on /tg/ right now has a goat?
    >> Ernest Hemmingway 10/10/11(Mon)02:18 No.16577421
    /d/. The Keyword is breeding.

    Now, do we or do we not have a currently active militia? Because I would either like a gun and some decent training or better protection because we need to keep the Class 3 and 4 drugs under lock and key.

    The absolute LAST thing we need is for /b/ to get a hold of the alprazolam.
    >> Gravefather Nito 10/10/11(Mon)02:19 No.16577432

    We will begin placing it in their water supply.
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)02:19 No.16577439
    rolled 16 = 16

    Machetes and knives are more than just weapons. They're tools. Very useful tools, at that.

    As it stands, I'd grab a wodden bat, a metal bat, a crowbar, a machete, a shotgun(Mossberg 500 :D), and my revolver, Taurus 605(Which would still be in the mail, but a man can dream), and ammo for both.

    You guys got the food covered. I'm here to make sure my farmers can farm without getting shot at.
    >> Strelnikov !TXwGaUHWDw 10/10/11(Mon)02:19 No.16577441
    awwww yeah peaches
    >> Guy with a trenchcoat 10/10/11(Mon)02:20 No.16577442
    We need slaves at some point
    Think of the fun
    Isn't fun the most important thing?
    >> Ross 10/10/11(Mon)02:20 No.16577443
    The "Council" squabbles, while decisive men of General direct workers as they support TG. Do not decide that your self-established government has the right to stop me from working for the common good, my friend.
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)02:20 No.16577444

    A sickening "Crunch" echos through the throneroom of Dreadfortress Chex. The envoy sent by Nito squirmed to no avail, drowning in a sea of delicious, nutritious chex.

    "Ah-lyance? Uahahahahaha! There can be no Ah-lyance! Chex King is the king of ALL Chex!

    Scooping up a handful of the corny confection-less breakfast, he munched to the sounds of the envoy's muffled screams as he wracked his brain thinking of a way to steal the Chex Nito spoke of...
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)02:21 No.16577449
    rolled 1 = 1

    >Now, do we or do we not have a currently active militia?

    Yes. And it currently has one member.


    I tried to talk to the council about more men, but they're so stuck on farming, they don't give two shits about defense.
    >> The follower of knowledge 10/10/11(Mon)02:21 No.16577451
    Your offer is resonable and just, just allow me to finish the scan...
    There! I hope you will allow me to trade with your masses aswell kind sir?
    >> James Joyce !!qkvhRmgJQNd 10/10/11(Mon)02:21 No.16577452
         File1318227682.jpg-(9 KB, 143x136, 1317267419532.jpg)
    9 KB
    Oh god... I don't like being so close to him now
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:22 No.16577457

    maybe some breeding cat-tle...

    We must set aside the carpet isle for them!
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)02:23 No.16577469
    rolled 14 = 14

    Survuval comes before fun.
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)02:24 No.16577477
    everyone posting as "anonymous" is a nameless defender of /tg/ general.

    You're just a named npc. Feel special!


    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)02:24 No.16577480
    I'm not suggesting it. I'm just saying that even if we had meat, we'd still need farmers.

    While you've been setting up jogging courses, we've been crafting a farming and medicine industry. You gonna pay us for that?

    The Farming Guild appreciates a volunteer bodyguard!
    >> Ernest Hemmingway 10/10/11(Mon)02:26 No.16577492
         File1318227970.jpg-(77 KB, 1212x682, Stanley-in-Night-Out-stanley-h(...).jpg)
    77 KB
    Oh wait, you were being serious?

    Well shit. No doubt you have to protect the farmers. Do you think that you could get me a decent caliber revolver and train me for a little weed?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:26 No.16577494

    You forget.

    They will not expect us to have armour. Their greed for bullets and super shooting skillz will encourage them to be greedy.
    >> Gravefather Nito 10/10/11(Mon)02:26 No.16577497

    >That may have been the best thing I've ever read.

    A single envoy is of no use to Gravefather Nito. Gravefather Nito also realizes he keeps changing his fucking name. He chalks it up to being batshit.

    However he suspects the allure of Chex is too great for the Chexlord to ignore. His minions move all of the Chex into a single location. They are surrounded by a circle of homemade explosives made from some farming supplies and gasoline.

    When the Chexlord arrives he will watch his beloved Chex burn. A single envoy is nothing to Gravefather Nito. Perhaps a mountain of Chex means more to the Chexlord.

    Nito sends agents to spread rumor of a treasure trove of Chex throughout /tg/. He will come. Perhaps other foolhardy adventurers will as well.
    >> Guy with a trenchcoat 10/10/11(Mon)02:26 No.16577498
    Kids these days
    While everyone is busy surviving I'll be having fun, don't get me wrong I like living but we have a grand opportunity to have sweet wars and make awesome mechanical contraptions that make people dead
    So I guess keep surviving and I'll work on the fun
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:27 No.16577503
    If your in charge of the militia, you can have all of the machetes and knifes I got, would probably do you better than me.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:27 No.16577504
    The odds, however slim, exist. The point is moot because they're not a very good option. Sustaining a mostly vegetarian diet once our stores of meat run out would be the better plan.

    Has cannibalism of healthy casualties, in case of accident or conflict, been considered yet?
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)02:28 No.16577508
    rolled 17 = 17

    >You're just a named npc. Feel special!

    I do!


    >The Farming Guild appreciates a volunteer bodyguard!

    Lead doesn't taste good, and while I do have farming expirence, being (And I HOPE this isn't true), one of the few with a firearm in glorious /tg/ia, I know what my duty is.
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)02:31 No.16577532
    rolled 2 = 2

    >Well shit. No doubt you have to protect the farmers. Do you think that you could get me a decent caliber revolver and train me for a little weed?

    I don't smoke, but the first thing we'll have to train on is melee combat skills.

    Why? Cause it's cheaper, quieter, and easier. We'll move up to the firearms training later.

    As such, I think I'm the only one with guns. So I might just hand you my revolver.


    I will take all but your best machete. That will be yours. Training starts at 0800 tommorrow.
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)02:32 No.16577541

    we have to writefag this. My email's in there. I'd like to do something involving getting adventurer's mixed up in it, and ending with the Chex king branching out into other cereals.
    >> Stan the Clue-holder Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:32 No.16577542

    How is the pain-deadening treatement coming on brother?
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)02:34 No.16577555
    rolled 20 = 20

    Slow, and ardious. I think we have all of three minutemen, myself included.

    Got dammit. I need some soldiers.
    >> The Shadow Cock !cF7p2dNB2w 10/10/11(Mon)02:35 No.16577563
    The Shadow is uncomfortable with such factionism spreading when our very borders are still threatened.

    Being head of the Militia, what say you to be our greatest enemy?
    Or, to be blunt about it, who needs their leadership broken?
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 10/10/11(Mon)02:36 No.16577570
    Currently the Militia Arbites of Greater /TG/ (I.E Sweet Soul) is armed with what they brought with them. I have to sit in my fortress trying to convince people of the various tactics to use, adding more members to militia and to keep the damn door shut, not that any of them listen.

    Anyways, I have a gravity action knife, a extendable baton and a tire iron with me. We've got a whole autosection's worth of tire irons to go through though. So at least we have those to use as clubs.

    Now if we could get more members in the militia, we might actually be able to take out /sci/ and bring back supplies from there...
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)02:36 No.16577571

    Make sure to visit, upvote, add stuff, and be awesome. The Chex King will be mysteriously absent for awhile as I go the fuck to sleep.

    We need to get factions set in their new positions on the map, and have somebody maybe drawfag some emblems.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)02:36 No.16577573
    >Melee combat training

    I am a black belt. If the farms are caught up, I can help teach people not to fall over and die. Not much use against /k/'s guns, though.

    We need engineers to get us some defensive walls and shit.
    >> Gravefather Nito 10/10/11(Mon)02:38 No.16577578
    Nito enters a strange hibernation in the poor sedimentary Hive that he has built away from the Costco's.

    >I hope there's another thread of this shit tomorrow.
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)02:38 No.16577583
    rolled 10 = 10

    That's hard to say, actually.

    /k/ has the firepower, but not the organization. Places like /lit/ and /sci/ have the head for it, but they lack the actual firepower.

    Then there are places like /b/ and /v/, who I'd consider the biggest threat, based on numbers alone. You don't have to be that skilled to pick up something heavy and swing it, and with numbers like theirs, any invasion would prove disastrous and detrimental to our society, or worse, they annex /us/.

    I say the larger boards are the biggest threats. If we were to allign ourselves with /k/, however. We'd prove unstopable.
    >> Mephiston's twin 10/10/11(Mon)02:39 No.16577586
    teen here with high education + i'm in a pretty good shape.
    would /tg/ want me in the militia or high council?

    /k/ is murdering itself i guess, let's migrate /ck/ to our place and let them cook for us,
    while we game around.
    while we're not gaming, we could raid /an/ of food, but let them live, we could use them as farm, raiding them from time to time.
    the other boards would probably be long dead by then, well except some lone survivors.

    the lawful evil farms are an internal danger, i guess...
    >> Ernest Hemmingway 10/10/11(Mon)02:41 No.16577601
    I would like to remind that for now we have a somewhat mutual relationship with /fit/ in exchange for Pharmicia regularly shipping
    various bodybuilding supplements.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:41 No.16577604
    Well, seems I just got drafted.

    Ah well, probably what I would of done anyway if in this situation. If no one steps up to keep the peace, who else will?
    >> Ross 10/10/11(Mon)02:41 No.16577606
    Yeah, but Chex is completely batshit insane. Ross will probably end up gathering a crew of Adventerers and tracking the rumor to it's source- he's gotten suspicious over the reported disappearances being on an upturn recently.
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)02:42 No.16577609
    rolled 15 = 15

    >I am a black belt.

    In what? Also. If it's an unarmed combat, learn to use a weapon.

    Seriously. A sword would be good, but a polearm would be optimal.

    The Baton is a good start. Learn to use a bat.

    The reason? Because if you learn to use a bat and it breaks, hell, you can just grab another bat.
    >> Thermobaric Lemon 10/10/11(Mon)02:42 No.16577612
    I can get a shotgun (mossberg m590) a g17 and a calilegal m4 within 15 minutes, So i volunteer militia?

    SweetSoulBrother, I guess I'm with you
    >> Squid !!6aBsnrxDu7+ 10/10/11(Mon)02:43 No.16577618
    Squid stood amid the Sweater Hovels in Central. With his trusted machete at his side and a backpack full of goods, he set out to find an Aisle or faction that would take him out of the slum life of Blue-Jean Alley.

    He decided it was perhaps best to head towards what he heard was called "Cold-Canyon" and see if anyone there could direct him to a place with work.
    >> Guy with a trenchcoat 10/10/11(Mon)02:44 No.16577620
    Adventurers you say!
    Guess who has no skills but wants to have fun adventures?
    Now we're cooking with propane!
    >> The Shadow Cock !cF7p2dNB2w 10/10/11(Mon)02:45 No.16577630

    Yes. I can't imagine /b/ truly being a threat, due to them being so young they're likely to submit to any sort of small amount of pain.
    In any case, small raids on their supplies will help them crumble.

    Most importantly, I can hit their perishables with toxic material. It may require one or two other militiamen to assist me in the carrying of materials, though.
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)02:45 No.16577631
    rolled 18 = 18

    YOU! Walk tall! Do you know where you are?

    You are in the land of /tg/! Forefathers of great artist, writers, craftsmen, and smiths have slaved over projects of old, completing them and solidifying themselves in the books of history!

    You, bloodkin among this, and dare slouch?! I say not! Stand up straight! For what you defend, what you watch over, is a history of the Human sprit! The drive to complete a project, a true drive, through the naysayesr, through those who talk down, and succeed! That is in your blood! So raise your weapn, and be proud!
    >> The follower of knowledge 10/10/11(Mon)02:47 No.16577645
    Ah, my visit has been nice, but now I must travel again, perhaps I shall visit the ex-warlord fellow, I have a few old war books around here...

    You there! You are the inquisitorial librarian, grand tactician of TG are you not? I am a traveling merchant, I may have a few books about battles and tactics and such, maybe you would like to take a look?
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 10/10/11(Mon)02:47 No.16577648
    Good thing the Baton is steel then. Not about to break unless I put some where and tear on it.

    Also, Costco Quest is up. Someone beat me to it.
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)02:47 No.16577653
    rolled 1 = 1

    Damn straight. Sidearms are wild, Carry whatever the hell you want.

    Official Firearm is whatever the hell will fire .12 Gauge.

    Official load is 2 3/4 Buckshot. Accepted load is whatever the hell you got.

    Now, how is that rifle made cal-legal? Bullet button? Fucked up grip?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)02:49 No.16577664
    A couple of unarmed arts. Not too much sword training.

    We've got Internet. Research is easy, and a lot of basic concepts like balance will be the same.

    What? Where? Damnit, I'm trying to convince myself to go to bed!
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)02:49 No.16577665
    Squid, Trench Coat and Ross are the tentative characters for "Quest on Dreadfortress Chex"- A Warehouse -/tg/ adventure.

    Squid- Bluejeaner. Fighting +4, Pluck +3, Belief -1

    Ross- CCGer. Stragegy +4, Determination +4, -2 Save to bullshit

    Squid- Even stats all around, "I can swim" feat allows him to apply skill ranks as the story progresses.

    Anybody else?
    >> Thermobaric Lemon 10/10/11(Mon)02:50 No.16577668
    aye aye sir!

    First order of buisness, this lord chex.
    The old coots been trapping and killing some of our fellow TGs for sport
    Seems to me capt'n that we could storm his fortress and put an end to his vile ways once and for all. But thats risky, if the militia is seen to be executing those that opose it.... tut tut,

    i propose instead that we put up a reward, say this here .38 revolver i also managed to nab before arriving.
    Those adventurer types would kill each other for one of these, should be plenty of em gunning for the lord of chex now!
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)02:51 No.16577676
    Derp. Trenchcoat would be the last guy.
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)02:52 No.16577688
    rolled 1 = 1

    Ah, alright.

    Unless the Martial art you learned is Judo, or any other grappling martial arts, you will leave that for the talent show. You will learn to fight with a bat first.

    You will learn how to use that bat so well you can juggle it blindfolded. That bat will become an extension of your body.

    After you master the bat. You will be free to go and learn any other weapon skills.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)02:54 No.16577710
    I took some Judo. Mostly striking arts, though. Breaking a guy's collarbone is a pretty effective way to keep him out of a fight.
    >> The Shadow Cock !cF7p2dNB2w 10/10/11(Mon)02:54 No.16577711
    Am I a character?

    It'd be interesting to get caught up in such antics.
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)02:55 No.16577713
    rolled 12 = 12


    If he's killing off our boys, fuck what the public feels. We're here to keep them safe.

    I want a lockdown of our secure lands. Noone leaves the high security areas, unless they're militia, AND escorted by me. I'll need a team of six, with their personal sidearms, no longarms, and their melee weapons of choice.

    Let's go kill this fucker.
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)02:57 No.16577727
    rolled 2 = 2

    It is. But Swinging a bat to do it is a whole lot less tiring.

    We're humans, soldier. Or defining moment is using tools. So use them.

    And I'm not trashing your martial arts, I'm just saying that hand to hand is when shit hits the fan.

    Don't bring fist to a batfight.
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)02:57 No.16577729
    Of course, though, you're probably more concerned about the link between Nito and Chex. As the party encounters all manner of perils and pitfalls, you'll be able to help them from the shadows.

    Meanwhile, hot on your trail, the hotheaded militiamen led by Sweet Soul Bro are unaware that they're walking right into Nito's trap! It seems his friends have arrived much earlier than expected...
    >> Ross 10/10/11(Mon)02:57 No.16577730
    Sounds bloody awesome. Give me a shout in the morning then, if I dint show up in the new thread.

    Rolling over to sleep now.
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)02:58 No.16577734
    rolled 20 = 20

    I'm a diceroller, through and through.

    Also, bats.
    >> /toy/ Anon 10/10/11(Mon)02:59 No.16577741
    I suppose I can toss my hat in for this, because it should be a blast. I have been known to shuffle a deck or two, used to wrangle minis, and bring a wealth of intel from a Costco of easy pickings. Lacking in combat skills for certain, unfortunately.
    >> Thermobaric Lemon 10/10/11(Mon)03:00 No.16577752
    aye cap'n, I'll round up some of the lads and we'll scout out this little dreadfort of his.
    And if its booby trapped.... well, thats why we use adventurers! And if it proves too much for em, we'll burn the bastard out.

    We may wanna check with the alchemists first though, don't want stray rounds or fires hitting anything vital.
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)03:01 No.16577762
    rolled 12 = 12

    Where is he in the stores, exactly?
    >> The follower of knowledge 10/10/11(Mon)03:02 No.16577771
    Seems like a great idea, perhaps they could cross paths with me along their adventures?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)03:02 No.16577773
    Still, cross-training isn't a bad thing. If your bat breaks and all you've got are your fists, you want to know how to use the damn things. Isn't a lot harder to steal somebody's hands than a bat.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 10/10/11(Mon)03:04 No.16577781
    How did I type isn't when I meant it's?

    Time for bed.
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)03:04 No.16577782
    OF course! How're they going to find the fortress?
    >> Squid !!6aBsnrxDu7+ 10/10/11(Mon)03:05 No.16577785
    The Shanty-town was surrounded on all side by Wideways, aisles big enough for the carts and forklifts to traverse as well as the fabled FloorWaxMax Tank said to haunt the store.

    Squid had never been outside of the town before, and now with conviction took steps towards the Canyon and its high stark white walls.
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)03:05 No.16577787
    rolled 7 = 7

    It's good that you know how to use your hands. Leaves one less thing to teach. But I'll have to uncouple you from the whole honor thing in martial arts. You fight to win. You hear me?

    True enough. If your bat breaks, consider it an honor. You used it in service to our lands so much that you wore it out.

    If you had it stolen, then you'll be laughed at.

    And yes, I will laugh at you.

    >> Guy with a trenchcoat 10/10/11(Mon)03:06 No.16577797
    Hell yes
    I have a ton of books from all my college classes
    By the way I have no skills but I do have a two backpacks right here with a first aid kit in both and spare clothes
    >> /toy/ Anon 10/10/11(Mon)03:08 No.16577809
    Have I been... rejected? I'm a quick learner, at least!
    >> Stan the Clue-Holder 10/10/11(Mon)03:10 No.16577820
    Dont forget me.
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)03:11 No.16577825
    rolled 5 = 5


    Ever use a baseball bat?
    >> SetSail4Fail !Twb3SytpoI 10/10/11(Mon)03:12 No.16577833
    There will be windups, and you have a funny accent.

    Skills? Adventurer, or guard?
    >> Stan the Clue-Holder 10/10/11(Mon)03:18 No.16577860
    Member of council of intellects...

    I could be a militia man. But there are pleanty of other jobs which need doing... and coordinating. Like master of the forge...
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)03:20 No.16577872
    rolled 9 = 9

    >Member of council of intellects

    The council can go fuck themselves.

    And you can quote me on that.

    We need a blacksmit. If you can do it, I'd be much ablidged.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)03:22 No.16577883
    Guess if I'm gonna be in the Militia I'll bring my camouflage army jacket. Look the part a bit more. True question is which machete I should use... The straight one with the longer reach and handguard, the bolo machete, or the shortest, the kukri... Decisions, decisions.

    I better make sure to avoid red shirts as well, if Soul is just a named NPC, then that means I'm a nameless, faceless grunt.
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)03:24 No.16577891
    rolled 6 = 6

    Fuck the camo. Be comfortable. The last thing you need is a dark green jacket among the rows of white shelves and bright walls.

    And bring all three. Donate to the cause.
    >> Guy with a trenchcoat 10/10/11(Mon)03:25 No.16577900
    I like you
    You fuck a lot of things *cough* verbally
    >> /toy/ Anon 10/10/11(Mon)03:26 No.16577903
    Militia! Oh boy! I don't even own a baseball bat though. Thoroughly fucked in that department.
    >> Stan the Clue-Holder 10/10/11(Mon)03:26 No.16577906
    Someone’s found their tongue now that their holding a gun humm? Just what is your opinion on military coups?

    The government comprises all peoples, including the most intellectually gifted. If you want to reduce the whole leadership to your IQ level then expect to be disappointed.
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)03:28 No.16577917
    rolled 16 = 16

    It's the quickest way to convey my dislike for opinions, choices, people, or anything of that sort.

    I could let out a twenty minute speal about how camo would be hot, uncomfortable, detrimental to your actual camouflage, and pointless...

    But fuck that. I've got bigger problems to fry.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)03:31 No.16577927
    Being from /k/ and seeing how you guys arent pants on head retarded i offer my services and weapons.

    M1garand which will be mine and mine alone
    Ar-15x2 one with an acig the other with a mid power scope
    mauser k98k
    Lee-enfield no4 mk2
    12ga pumpx2
    Wasr-10/63 (ak clone)
    All have slings so i can carry them all with me. 5ammo cans tied together to carry them, they contain all of my ammo. (300 rounds min per rifle. The ar's have 3k.

    Requesting permission to join the militia
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)03:32 No.16577931
    rolled 17 = 17

    My IQ's 125, since you're asking. And Miliary Coup is possibly one of the worst things we could do at a time like this. The structure is there. I respect it. But I'm sure as hell going to speak my mind. Gun or not, I'm gonna speak it. And if you haven't been noticing, My boys use melee weapons. No need to waste ammo on panicked shots that could be dealt with with a nice solid smack of a bat to the head. As for the Council? I say they can go fuck themselves because we're deemed an "Unimportant Asset" At best, which means we don't get shit, outside of basic food supplies.

    That's fine. I've got two. You can have one. Plus, this place has a sports section. We can go get bats there.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)03:33 No.16577936
    Ratty gray coat it is, still haven't found a more comfortable coat yet.

    The main problem with a societal government set by "IQ" standards is that who is going to administer the tests? Can we trust them to not favorite people and pick and choose the candidates through said "tests?"

    Not only that, but IQ doesn't really mean much. You might think a four year old with the IQ of two hundred means a lot, until you figure out how IQ is actually configured. Which is basically your mental age minus your real age times by a hundred. So the tests would be relative to age as well, with older, and some would say probably wiser, people at a disadvantage to the younger because they will need to pass the "test" by a greater degree.

    In short, IQ isn't really a great way to figure out the actual intelligence of a person because of how relative it is. Perhaps you did bad on a test, perhaps you are old and don't keep up with education, perhaps the test was rigged... You get my point.
    >> Stan the Clue-Holder 10/10/11(Mon)03:33 No.16577937
    The militia still needs a name...
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)03:34 No.16577944
    rolled 11 = 11

    Permission Granted under two conditions.

    1. Under completion of a psychological analyzation(Held by me), you become an officer, and train people to use firearms.
    2. You give me one 25 round Box of 12 Gauge shotgun shells.
    >> Suggested Locations Squid !!6aBsnrxDu7+ 10/10/11(Mon)03:36 No.16577955
    'Central' : Formerly the area in the middle of most Costco's where rows of tables are stacked high with clothing of various sorts typically peacoats, jeans, tracksuits, and sweaters. The area now houses a shanty-town made up of stacked tables with clothing tent walls. People unable to afford or barter for better housing are forced to live in the cramped, uncomfortable slums. Blue Jean Alley is a particularly bad part of the town home to the worst of the slummers and the stores most inhospitable inhabitants.

    The Wideway: The polished concrete river that surrounds Central on all sides. It was once used for main traffic but now is patrolled by Militia carts. Central residents don't typically 'cross the road' of the Wideway.

    Cold Canyon: Formerly the Refrigerated aisles.

    Breadstacks: Formerly the baked goods aisle, the rolling shelves now forming a cage for prisoners under Militia watch.

    Checkerwall: formerly the checkout lines, all of which have been blocked by upturned carts forming a wall to protect the 'Office'

    Office: The front managers office home to a faction and and protected by guards
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)03:36 No.16577957
    rolled 3 = 3

    I propose the First Batilion of Battery Specialist.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)03:38 No.16577963
    Done. Someone needs to bring a .22 to train the new recruits.

    Capcha: constant rianes
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)03:38 No.16577964
    Crap, check that. Accidentally typed subtract, you actually divide.
    >> Stan the Clue-Holder 10/10/11(Mon)03:41 No.16577973
    I am willing to undergo the arduous training of the militiamen… if thou will take me.

    I will gain battle honour for the council and bridge our two worlds.

    I’m already able to use any weapon. I’ve fired a rifle, I’m a competently good shooter. I’m competent with most things...
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)03:45 No.16577991

    Why not just go with what we know, TG: The Guardians.
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)03:46 No.16577997
    rolled 15 = 15

    Wonderful. The first thing we'll train you with is a baseball bat.

    Why? Because they're cheap to remake if need be, they're plentiful, they're basic, and they're a good baseline for most weapons.

    After you master that weapon, you are then free to engage in any other melee weapon of your choosing.

    Firearms, as a whole, are more of an "Emergency" thing, since we don't exactly have unlimited ammunition, or ways to manufacture more.

    All officers, and people I tell to, are required to keep a sidearm of some type on them at all times.

    I reserve the right to take that sidearm if you fuck up with it.

    Failure to relinquish said sidearm will probably get you killed, if not by me, then the other people who I told to keep sidearms, and are afraid you'll shoot them next.

    And Most importantly, never forget the people you guard aren't subjects, they're brothers. You do this so they can work comfortably, wthout fear of raids, or anarchy.
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)03:46 No.16578002
    rolled 16 = 16

    I like this better.

    Go with it.
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)03:49 No.16578020
         File1318232996.jpg-(130 KB, 640x480, IMG_3085.jpg)
    130 KB
    rolled 5 = 5


    And I almsot forgot. I'd grab one more thing.

    This. Our flag.
    >> Mephiston's twin 10/10/11(Mon)03:54 No.16578041
    hmm, you are pretty damn right *raises twin-axes*
    Tonight i'm standing tall at Heidenfest,
    and i'm with you guys as well!
    bring it on,
    we're not some kind of unorganized board,
    yes i'm talking to you all,
    men of /tg/, DO YOU WANT TO LIVE FOREVER?
    the Stand up and FIGHT,
    for we are all heroes!
    /k/ can have weapons, but we have unity!
    we are all one!

    and we will be the last men standing!
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 10/10/11(Mon)03:55 No.16578045
    I called it the Militia Arbites way back when at one point, but ultimately, it's up to the militia proper. I'm just the tactical advisor to the council... not that they ever shut the bloody door behind them. Honestly, no one ever shuts the door. I mean how hard is it to shut a door? It may be the Fortress of the Freezers, but I didn't go with the drawbridge and portcullis, no... I went with a door. So it'd be easier to shut. Not that anyone ever actually shuts it... Harrumph.

    And they never listen to me about the advice. I suggest that we raid /a/ for easy pickings, and they hem and haw about bloody farms. We have all the farms we need... possibly more if we go and collect the land that was recently abandoned but no.... and then they leave and they don't shut the door!
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)04:00 No.16578066
    rolled 8 = 8

    Quoting a great man.

    No man ever won a war dying for his country, he made the other poor sucker die for his.

    So you'd damn well better want to live forever. That way you can fight forever.

    Yo, tactical advisor. You ever been on a raid?
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 10/10/11(Mon)04:04 No.16578078
    I used to be the Warlord of the Freezers, so yes. Yes I have. Was in a couple against the Farmers, before they disappeared.

    Why, you need help?
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)04:06 No.16578088
    rolled 3 = 3

    Of course not. The Milita ain't raiding shit. Running an offensive campaign is much more expensive than running a defensive one.

    I'm making you an officer, pending a Psych Eval.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)04:06 No.16578089
    Having a tactical adviser help out the militia would be a boon, and probably an advantage over the other boards. You can only go so far with gun-ho Rambo style fighting, and that usually gets one killed.
    >> Mephiston's twin 10/10/11(Mon)04:07 No.16578091
    well exactly, one who wants to live forever will fight forever. fight for justice. fight for /tg/ and our elegan/tg/entlemen brothers to live
    as one we can win this, let's keep the spirit high, for the GREATER /tg/!
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 10/10/11(Mon)04:14 No.16578116
    Indeed. I'm thinking defence indepth. Traps, traps and more traps. Fortifications with overlapping fields of fire. Get a good crossfire going, for what few firearms and thrown weapons we have.
    Lead any enemies into dead ends and then drop heavy items on them from atop the aisles.
    By the end of the gauntlet, whatever forces are left can be mopped up.

    This'll allow us to take on much larger or well equipped forces if done properly. Hit and run, keep moving and don't stay out of cover too long.
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 10/10/11(Mon)04:16 No.16578128
    rolled 5 = 5

    I fully support this.

    Engineers, get to work. I need to sleep.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 10/10/11(Mon)04:19 No.16578132
    Seconded... the hour is late and I am tired. Good night to you all.
    >> Ross 10/10/11(Mon)10:01 No.16579509
    Dawn breaks in the Aisles as an early riser in the Office hits the main breaker switch. The lamps buzz to life, illuminating Cosco as the night shift clicks off their lights and heads to bed. A number of miners emerge from the tunnels, blinking from the sudden light as they go to get a meal.

    Ross sits atop the Pallets, chin in his hand, as he watches the city below stir to life. He can hear the shouted commands from Slow below and shakes his head. Someday soon, the Council would see what it means to deny a thriving population. He stands up and swings himself over the edge, rappelling down, and lands on the floor amid the morning breakfast line. Time to catch a myth.

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