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  • File : 1319846679.gif-(38 KB, 341x330, earthtrue.gif)
    38 KB EVO Quest - Part IV OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)20:04 No.16768424  
    (Continued from Part III: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=EVO%20quest)

    You... you are not quite sure what you are, but your adoptive tribe (and/or slaves) insist on calling you the Guardian of the Earth.

    You were once nothing more than an overgrown cave salamander, until fate intervened by way of a fresh, bloody meal that wasn't cave mold or dead vermin. Over the past 20 or so hours, you have evolved and mutated into an armored salamander with, among other things, parasitic mouth-hooks and necromantic powers, and you now own a tribe of lizardmen ("sunfangs") and one badass bear skeleton. You have been hunting down strange crystals, decimating elven woodfolk in their own village-

    - and, most recently, you just deposed a tyrant by tearing through the eye and brain of a tyrannosaurus rex, killing it painfully and horrifically.

    You barely have time to start eating, though, when you get a HORRIBLE feeling in your gut- every instinct is telling you to flee. You look up- woodfolk and sunfangs have abandoned their fight and are fleeing in every direction.

    You look up further and your bowels spasm with fea- WORRY because you see a rapidly-approaching meteoroid growing larger and larger in the sky: the tyrant king's parting gift, summoned by his unnatural power.

    ... fuck.

    (continued)
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)20:06 No.16768438
         File1319846789.jpg-(348 KB, 2484x2000, 1319687741624.jpg)
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    CURRENT STATS:
    Large Vicious Salamander
    _______________________________________________
    POWERS:
    Calming Aura, Level 2
    > Pacifies creatures; resisted by strong emotion.
    > 30 ft radius, weakens as it goes (Strongest at <10 ft)
    Shapeshifting/Body Sculpting, Level 1
    > Transform into the last creature PARASITED, duration 5 min.
    > May also alter the SIZE of one Body Part.
    Necromancy, Level 2
    > Can raise and animate TWO bodies, combined mass less than TWO BEARS.
    > If no commands are given, minions will return to you and await orders.

    Shadow Travel, Level 0 (Dormant; Bear's Power)
    > Instantaneous travel between shadows. All other details unknown.
    > ???

    CRYSTALS:
    Yellow Crystal:
    > You can understand simple languages; other effects unknown.
    Red Crystal:
    > Gave you an evolutionary boost; other effects unknown.
    ________________________________________________________
    BODY PARTS:
    Parasitic Mouth Hooks +1
    >Drains blood quickly, medium telepathy, grants control
    >High strength
    Titanium Web Spinners
    >Shoots sticky web from ass, distance of 10 ft.
    >High strength. Nigh unbreakable; still flammable.
    >Slower than Rope Tongue.
    Rope Tongue
    >Sticky. 7 ft, retractable.
    >Faster than webs.

    EYES: Base; small; Lowlight
    NOSE: Base; weak
    JAWS:
    > Jaw Strength Lvl. 1
    > Mouth-Hooks+
    > Rope Tongue
    > Vocal Chords- Blorp, Gleep, Hurp.
    NECK: Base; None
    BRAIN: +2 (Improved Info Gathering)

    BODY:
    > Titanium Web Spinners
    > SKIN: Bone Hide
    > Rotund. Dragging Gait. Blue.
    SIZE: Two feet long
    LIMBS:
    > Rending Claws
    TAIL: Dragging
    ________________________________________________________
    (CONTINUED)
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)20:15 No.16768482
    Adrenaline pumping through your little salamander heart, you quickly take stock of your current situation.

    First: this is bad. You THINK that the large fucking space rock is going to slam straight into the woodfolk settlement in about thirty seconds (3 turns), and you are virtually swimming in gore, blood, and brain matter.

    You just killed a tyrannosaurus rex with your own appendages; with a frustrated GLEEP, you realize that you won't be able to finish eating it all before the meteoroid hits. If you try, you might be able to eat enough to get a MYSTERIOUS TIME STREAM evolution- and thus, evolve a way to not get mashed- but you don't think it's likely.

    You could TRY eating as much as you can in twenty seconds before running; though you'll take some damage, it won't be a total waste.

    You do NOT think you can raise the whole tyrant king as a minion using your necromantic powers; you can try, but even trying will take 10 seconds (1 turn), and success is not guaranteed. Seriously, you don't know what the fuck will happen.

    Finally... you can just BOOK it without eating, getting out of there before you're crushed- but your well-earned meal will likely not survive.

    Or you can take another option. REGARDLESS...

    >COMMAND?
    (ROLL 1d40 - dice+1d40 in the email field)
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)20:20 No.16768506
    rolled 3 = 3

    >>16768482
    Eat as much as possible
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)20:23 No.16768524
    rolled 3, 28 = 31

    >>16768482
    Eat through the fallen tyrant, both enjoying our meal and taking refuge within the confines of his gargantuan hide! Also, hoping for time stretch or teleportation powers at the same time, so I'm rolling two.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)20:30 No.16768560
    >>16768506
    >>16768524
    You snarl defiantly up at the plummeting meteoroid. Fine! Let it come! If this is to be your last meal, there is no shame in having it be a huge fucking dinosaur twenty times your own size!!

    You throw yourself at the tyrant king's fleshy insides, tearing at the meat and swallowing it in huge chunks without bothering to chew. As usual, you manage to put away huge volumes of food without even breaking a sweat, and you manage to strip most of the skull to the bone.

    You WILL finish as much as you can!!

    Fifteen seconds in, you realize two things: first, your bearbones is still standing next to you, waiting dutifully with no inclination to move away from the impending meteorite-

    - and second, the sunfang leafdancer and your chosen chieftain-to-be for the tribe, Razz, has dashed up to the carcass, screaming at you to get away.

    >COMMAND?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)20:38 No.16768594
    rolled 6 = 6

    >>16768560
    The fools! They've doomed themselves!

    Pray for the light of evolution to grace us and save these pitiful fools.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)20:45 No.16768622
    rolled 40 = 40

    >>16768560
    Eat, try to gain time control powers
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)20:50 No.16768653
    >>16768622
    Horray!
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)20:53 No.16768668
    >>16768622
    After a few moments of being ignored, Razz glances up to the sky, back to you, up to the sky, and back to you again- before running off as fast as he can, which is pretty darn fast.

    The skull is completely empty by the time you work down to the gullet; the night gradually grows brighter as it's bathed in the meteoroid's hellish glow-

    - and finally- finally, with three seconds to spare!- you feel the familiar energy welling up within you:

    >MYSTERIOUS TIME STREAM EVOLVES YOU.
    _____________
    CHOOSE:
    - 1 new Unnatural Power
    - 1 UPGRADE to an existing Unnatural Power
    - 3 new Body Part Improvements
    +ROLL 1d40+
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)20:55 No.16768689
    rolled 4 = 4

    >>16768668
    Unnatural Power - Time Stretch
    Upgrade - Calming Presence
    Body Part - Thumbs.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)20:56 No.16768698
         File1319849791.jpg-(32 KB, 640x440, mao oh no.jpg)
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    >>16768689
    That's the third time that I rolled below 5...fuck.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)20:58 No.16768708
    rolled 38 = 38

    >>16768668

    Biomancy lv 1.

    Necromancy lv 3.

    Brain improvement, hide durability increase, muscle mass increase.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)20:58 No.16768711
    rolled 25 = 25

    >>16768668
    unnatural power - Enragement aura
    Upgrade - shadow bear
    Body - Eyes (see other spectrums)
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)20:59 No.16768717
    >>16768668
    >>16768668
    Increase shadow travel
    Improve brain
    Improve nose
    Let's get some opposable thumbs

    OH MIGHTY TIME STREAM GRANT THY HUMBLE SERF THE POWER OF TIME CONTROL


    Wish I could my other nat 40
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:00 No.16768724
    rolled 29 = 29

    >>16768668
    Power: Time Stop
    Upgrade: Shadow teleport Lvl. 1
    Body Upgrades: Denser Muscle, tougher plate hide, ability to poison our bite/claws.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:01 No.16768739
    rolled 9 = 9

    >>16768668
    Unnatural power: Time stop.
    Body traits: Wings, Feathers, and Tentacles.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:02 No.16768744
    rolled 13 = 13

    >>16768717
    Captcha ate my dice
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:02 No.16768748
    rolled 38 = 38

    Time Stop/Slow/Warp etc

    Necromancy L3

    Agility
    Thumbs
    Reaction Speed
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)21:03 No.16768754
    >>16768698
    ... this quest attracts some stupidly low rolls, it's all good

    Besides, it's a quiet night, so you might be abl-

    >refresh page

    NEVER MIND

    >>16768708
    >Biomancy lv 1
    oh shi
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:04 No.16768757
    rolled 28 = 28

    >Upgrade.
    Can we upgrade the Red Cristal? I want to see what it does.
    >Powers
    Time Stop.
    >Body Parts.
    Muscle mass increase, brain increase, poison.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:04 No.16768760
    >>16768622
    >>16768748

    Fuck yeah, looks like Time Stop got it.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:05 No.16768762
    >>16768754
    Look again OP. We got a tie now.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:06 No.16768776
    rolled 39 = 39

    Rolling for the biomancy dude.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)21:06 No.16768777
    >>16768757
    Sorry, should've put a divider between CRYSTALS and POWERS- Crystals do not count as powers, more like things that you collect.

    ALSO, VOTING STOPS HERE!
    Combining
    >>16768748
    >>16768708
    and general consensus seems to be time... something.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:07 No.16768782
    >>16768776

    Fuck yeah biomancy wins.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)21:07 No.16768784
         File1319850439.jpg-(52 KB, 242x246, tumblr_lrmuj1i1BE1qgo9n8o1_250.jpg)
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    >>16768776
    ............
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:08 No.16768789
    Biomancy isn't going to save us. Unless Biomancy can make "Bat- meteorite repellent spray".

    That would be pretty cool.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:09 No.16768793
    >>16768784
    We're still going with time control, right? Tell me we're still going with time control.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:10 No.16768800
    >>16768776

    ...nice going.

    "Hey, rather than a power that will obviously save us - lets make trees grow faster!"

    Any Time stuff still has higher rolls - 40 and 38 to 39 and 38.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)21:14 No.16768823
    >>16768800
    It technically does, but I feel like I should draw the line at people queuing up rolls for evolution BEFORE it may or may not happen.

    Going with Biomancy, which... is actually viable under the current situation. Brb, typing.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:18 No.16768851
    >>16768823
    So, we're gonna use it to harden our skin and just hope we survive, then?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:18 No.16768860
    Awww yeah! We are gunna entangle that fucking rock with vines, which we will then reinforce with TITANIUM WEBBING and THEN we are going to have our own little citadel to build into / harvest after we bring the Sunfangs over here to start building a REAL City...kinda like Vivec, except the moon isn't held up by magic, instead its held up by fucking TITANIUM WEBBING AND NATURE ITSELF.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:19 No.16768861
         File1319851144.jpg-(8 KB, 249x202, images.jpg)
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    >>16768851
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)21:19 No.16768862
    >>16768708
    >Biomancy lv 1.
    >Necromancy lv 3.
    >Brain+3
    >Bone Armor +1
    >Muscle Mass Increase

    You feel magma flowing thr- NO WAIT YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO FEEL THAT SHIT HAPPENING TO YOUR BODY

    You've MUCH improved necromancy, which allows you to do strange things with dead creatures' component parts. You have some new power bumping around in your brain- Biomancy- that lets you mold bio-organic substances (including flesh, bone, and muscle).

    ... and you are surrounded by heaps of dead dinosaur flesh, bone, and muscle.

    You have five seconds before space rocks fall!

    >COMMAND?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:20 No.16768870
    rolled 7 = 7

    >>16768862

    What this guy said

    >>16768860
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:20 No.16768871
    >"Guardian of the Earth"
    >bloodsucking spider-lizard necromancer

    Wat.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:21 No.16768874
    rolled 19 = 19

    >>16768860

    This.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)21:22 No.16768883
    >>16768871
    (The lizardmen are not particularly smart.)
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:22 No.16768886
    rolled 23 = 23

    >>16768862

    Use necromancy and biomancy to make the T-Rex body a durable cocoon to shield us from the comet.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:23 No.16768889
    >>16768862
    Actually, better idea. Use the surrounding dead dino and other assorted organic matter to make a goddamn bunker.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:23 No.16768891
    rolled 36 = 36

    >>16768871

    It's nature, we ain't gotta explain shit what with immortal jellyfish who rebirth themselves.

    Also rolling for my post here

    >>16768860
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:23 No.16768893
    rolled 35 = 35

    >>16768889
    Herp derp forgot to roll.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:24 No.16768896
    rolled 4 = 4

    >>16768862
    A dinoskin trampoline bounces the spacerock back into orbit. TAKE THAT, PHYSICS.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:24 No.16768897
    >>16768891

    If I fucked up I am sorry guys, I just REALLY want our Own Lizard version of Vivec...the city, not the faggot.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)21:27 No.16768918
    >>16768889
    >>16768851
    >>16768891
    >>16768874
    >>16768860
    Okay, going with this, but this is one of the goddamn ballsy things I've seen thus far, so--

    FIRST THREE d40 ROLLS, 35 OR GREATER.
    GO.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:28 No.16768925
         File1319851702.jpg-(232 KB, 556x544, no_image_macro_feeling..jpg)
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    rolled 29 = 29

    >>16768918

    Rolling for city dude.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)21:28 No.16768926
    >>16768860
    Er, roll for THIS idea.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:28 No.16768930
    rolled 28 = 28

    >>16768918
    BRING IT ON, SPACE!
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:29 No.16768933
    rolled 36 = 36

    >>16768918
    Bounce!
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:29 No.16768941
    >>16768933

    LizardMoonVivec dude here, I love you man. I love you so much. I was afraid I may have fucked up bad and gotten us flattened.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:29 No.16768942
    rolled 30 = 30

    >>16768918
    COMET ME BRO
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:30 No.16768949
    >>16768926
    Wait, really? Whilst a meteor is currently plummeting toward us? And the guy who suggested it immediately expressed regret for doing so?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:31 No.16768955
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    >>16768933
    >35 or more.
    >2 dice rolls lower than 35.
    >We're fucked.
    >Last dice roll: 36
    >HOLE SHIT
    The dice gods love Blorp.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:32 No.16768961
    rolled 11 = 11

    >>16768862
    turn Dino into protective bunker,
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:33 No.16768966
    >>16768949

    I don't regret the idea buddy boy, I said that I may have regretted it if my ballsy choice would get us KILLED. I really want our own Meteor citadel hovering over our Eventual Sunfang city, who knows we may have to rename the Tribe Moonfang or something.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:33 No.16768967
    >>16768933
    And the CROWD GOES WILD
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)21:33 No.16768968
         File1319852007.png-(96 KB, 394x294, 1318498117213.png)
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    >>16768933
    >mfw players always roll badly when it doesn't matter
    >and pull it off like MOTHERFUCKING GODS when everything rests on the last dice
    >not sure whether to die laughing, die crying, or die dying
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:33 No.16768970
    rolled 11 = 11

    If any bones survive, use them to reinforce and enlarge bearbones.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:34 No.16768977
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    14 KB
    >mfw I was the one who rolled it

    About damn time; been rolling like shit this entire thread. Now then, let's send the meteor back to SPAAAACE~.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:35 No.16768982
    >>16768966
    Yeah, I posted that while it was still very possible that it would have gotten us killed. I suppose it worked though.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:38 No.16768998
    >>16768977

    The Meteor ain't bouncing into Space buddy, it's hanging over the Forest Canopy by vines and titanium webbing, and maybe even a tree supporting it, we'll eventually holly that bitch out and live in it while the Sunfangs create a city below it. Think Vivec from Morrowind, our Meteor is Vivec's moon.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:38 No.16769000
    >>16768977
    >>16768933
    >those dubs
    >dat roll
    >> Nothingmancer 10/28/11(Fri)21:38 No.16769001
    PROBLEM, SPACE?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:41 No.16769015
    I for one, am enthusiastic about our HORRIBLE ABOMINATION AGAINST NATURE living like a king in a FUCKING METEOR SUSPENDED BY NATURE ITSELF.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:45 No.16769037
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKvH4pwTLHU&feature=BFa&list=PL63894C78EA9C5850&lf=result
    s_main
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:45 No.16769042
    >CURRENT STATS:
    >King Swinging Dick of the Universe

    >POWERS:
    >Fucking Unbelievable Luck, Level 9
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:46 No.16769050
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    Problem, World?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:47 No.16769060
    >>16769001
    I don't think anything we do from here on out can top this.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:48 No.16769068
    I fucking love this quest, and you are awesome OP.

    I just wish we could've gotten time to take the green crystal from the woodfolk-T Rex corpse. That might have come in handy.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)21:49 No.16769076
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    >>16768860
    >>16768891

    You can almost hear the tyrant king laughing at you from whatever shadowy underworld he's gone to. In your mind, he's laughing that you defeated him by pure luck; he's laughing because he will prove this by taking you down with him.

    You can almost FEEL the sheer hatred radiating from this manifestation of the tyrant king's power... but you lift your head and look the meteoroid straight-on, narrowing your eyes.

    >BLORP.

    Challenge accepted, fucker.

    You brace yourself, grab your newfound power with both metaphysical hands, and PULL; your vision actually goes completely green as energy wracks your form. The surrounding forest dances to your tune, trees writhing, vines snapping, and leaves flying all over the place as they wait for your signal-

    - and you give it.

    Instantly, a multitude of vines lash out in concert, spiraling up impossibly high to smash their tips against the meteoroid. The first ones burn almost instantly, as do the next, and the next, but a web of vines quickly establishes itself across the surface of the meteor, the burnt remnants of their fellows shielding them from the heat. The meteor was still plummeting at a rate of miles per second, so the vines actually BUCKLE-

    - but they bought enough time for the trees. Bark rips and tears and regrows as trees, branches and leaf canopies and all, add their bulk to the defense.

    You can barely see anymore, but you continue feeding everything you've got into this one surge of biomancy, hearing and feeling the wind rushing by as you drain the forest into stopping the meteorite. You THINK you see the meteorite three feet away, still spinning but held away from you by a mass of greenery...

    ... and then you black out.
    (CONTINUED)
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:49 No.16769078
    >>16769060

    Sure we can, that thing that will top ALL OF THIS? Banging Eve till she can't walk or support life on this planet anymore.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:50 No.16769081
    >>16769068
    It's still there, we just couldn't get to it since there was a meteor coming down at us.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:51 No.16769094
    >>16769060
    Our accomplishments have only been getting steadily more awesome so far. I see no reason to cut short our string of ballsy badassitude. We're Blorp the motherfucking Earth Guardian, and we fuck up everything that stands in our way. Even space.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:53 No.16769105
    rolled 8 = 8

    >>16769076

    FFFFFFUCK YEAH

    WE AIN'T GOT TIME TO STAY UNCONSCIOUS, WAKE THE FUCK BACK UP SO WE CAN START KICKING MORE ASS.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:55 No.16769120
    Well, here's the theme for our new village: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmJVzkeRnkU&feature=BFa&list=PL63894C78EA9C5850&lf=result
    s_main
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:56 No.16769124
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    >>16769076

    >THE GLORP'S FACE WHEN WE HARNESSED OUR POWER TO DEFY THE TYRANT KING!
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)21:58 No.16769137
    >>16769076
    You eventually come to, cradled in the arms of Razz; he looks like he's not sure whether to be terrified or reverent or filled with awe, but he manages to balance all three expressions pretty well.

    >BLORP?

    "M-My lord... are you alright?"

    ... what the hell? He's never called you that before. You squirm in the sunfang's scaled arms, making your confusion evident through interpretive dance. Razz... Razz actually -laughs-, though nervously.

    "You, um. You motherfucking did, um... that."

    He puts you on his shoulders, and you look up to see a still-steaming hunk of space rock, easily a hundred feet across, suspended above the ground by what LOOKS like the forest itself, assuming that "forest" stands for "green and brown vegetation that someone molded into strange intertwined pillars of silly putty and propped up a fucking meteor."

    Underneath it, completely untouched, is the tyrant king's body. And your bear skeleton, which is still standing where you left it. Hell, the MUD HUTS are untouched, if a little worse for wear due to your fight.

    You crawl on top of Razz's head- he 'oofs' at the weight- and you open your mouth.

    >BLORP.

    That's what you THOUGHT.

    You look back down and realize that ALL of the surviving sunfang are arrayed behind you. ALL of them are kneeling down on one knee (except for Razz, who's afraid that he'll dump you on the ground of he does that).

    >COMMAND?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)21:59 No.16769143
    >>16769137
    COMBINE AND/OR EAT ALL DEAD INTO A UNDEAD MINION
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:00 No.16769147
    rolled 1 = 1

    >>16769137
    Victory speech!
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:00 No.16769148
    rolled 25 = 25

    >>16769137

    Use Razz to declare that once it cools down, this meteor, this trophy from the defeated Tyrant King, shall be the New Home to the Sunfangs and all of their descendants.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:01 No.16769155
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    >roving through /tg/
    >pretty shite pornography thread about sisters
    >uninteresting threads abound
    >combination shitstorm and discussion about the necrons, as per usual
    >skyrim thread dies before any discussion happens thanks to pessimists
    >sigh, fuck it, I'm out for tonight /tg/-
    >EVO QUEST
    >come just in time to see everyone's favorite cave salamander stop the Tunguska event- except with an even larger meteorite, thrown by a GODDAMN PSYKER TYRANNOSAUR- LIKE IT WAS NO BIG DEAL
    >blorp.

    I love you, E.V.O Quest.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:01 No.16769156
    rolled 15 = 15

    >>16769137
    First, get dat fuckin' crystal!
    Second, we move the village to here, learning to make new huts and repair existing ones if necessary.
    Third, check the meteor for holes that we may venture in to (assuming they are not burning hot still).
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:01 No.16769157
    rolled 28 = 28

    Crawl down the kings gullet. That Green crystal has to be in there somewhere.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:01 No.16769159
    rolled 9 = 9

    >>16769137
    Truimphant Motherfucking Blorp! And let's combine Bearbones and dino boy into some kinda big gribbly killing machine.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:01 No.16769160
    rolled 3 = 3

    >>16769148

    THIS! SO THIS!
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:02 No.16769162
    rolled 7 = 7

    >>16769137

    Finish eating the rest of the Tyrannosaurus corpse! Also, see if we can't dig out the crystal that he ate from his body too, that might come in handy later
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:02 No.16769164
    rolled 12 = 12

    >>16769137
    Decree that the Sunfang clan is now to move into the now vacant huts.

    Then finish our glorious and well deserved meal.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:03 No.16769171
    rolled 37 = 37

    >>16769148

    LizardMoonVivec dude here, I want this so muc you have no idea.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:04 No.16769175
    rolled 26 = 26

    >>16769148
    Did we just create a pottymouthed lizardman forest Mordheim?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:04 No.16769176
    rolled 13 = 13

    >>16769171

    Holy shit. I won....I am actually suprised by this.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:04 No.16769177
    rolled 4 = 4

    >>16769137

    EAT THAT CORPSE
    GET THAT CRYSTAL
    BLORP FOR THE BLORP GOD
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:04 No.16769179
    rolled 21 = 21

    >>16769171

    so i guess that wins?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:05 No.16769185
    >>16769148
    >>16769157
    >>16769171
    >>16769175
    >>16769179
    Holy fuck, I guess so.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:07 No.16769189
    >>16769137
    You know one day, we are going to try something much easier than this, fail, and look so stupid.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:07 No.16769192
    rolled 16 = 16

    >>16769185

    Yeah, some really shitty rolls for this part.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:08 No.16769195
    rolled 19 = 19

    >>16769137
    Dino necromancy rise once we pick it clean of meat :D
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:09 No.16769199
    rolled 14 = 14

    >>16769192

    Necromancy / Devouring can happen later, right now its time for inspiring speeches and declarations that will shake the very core of our followers!
    >> Nothingmancer 10/28/11(Fri)22:10 No.16769203
    >>16769199
    "Blorpherpglurp, blorpblorp, GLUUUUUURP!"
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:11 No.16769211
    rolled 19 = 19

    >>16769203

    We are using Razz to communicate with the rest of the Tribe.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:12 No.16769218
    Hey wait, since we are using Razz so much, doesn't this make him NOT ONLY our chosen chieftan, our own Leafdancer, BUT our GODSPEAKER too?
    >> Nothingmancer 10/28/11(Fri)22:12 No.16769219
    >>16769218
    He's also probably a little low on blood.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:12 No.16769220
    rolled 24 = 24

    >>16769211
    No, it's funnier if we just blorp and dance at them
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:13 No.16769222
    rolled 10 = 10

    >>16769220

    funny can happen later, we need inspiration
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)22:15 No.16769233
    >>16769171
    >>16769148
    >>16769157
    You are feeling VERY generous, buoyed by your ridiculous victory. You jam your mouth-hooks into Razz; they slide in pretty easily, and he only winces this time. Looks like that upgrade made them a little less like jamming rusty spoons into someone's spine.

    >BLORP, GLEEP. BLORP!

    It takes Razz a few seconds to stop gaping at you, and a few more seconds to stop himself from bursting into tears, but he eventually roars out:

    "Alright, you fuckers! You see this big fucking space rock? You see it? It's the Guardian's trophy! His triumph over the fucking treehugging pansy-ass woodfolk and their hardass tyrant king! The tyrant king that our very own Guardian beat the living hell out of!"

    He waits for the cheering to die down before continuing.

    "And you guys... you guys won't fucking believe this. Our lord- our own fucking Guardian, right here- he's giving it to us. He's giving all of this to us!" Razz has to raise his voice over the murmurs of his fellows. "This testament to his greatness will be the brand-spanking new home of the motherfucking Sunfang Tribe, and all who'll come after us!!"

    You hop off Razz as he runs after the sunfangs (screaming "After it cools! AFTER it cools!!"), and you immediately start inspecting the tyrant king's body.

    ... the green crystal's gone. Shit.

    It seems like the tyrant king's body absorbed it when he activated his power. On hindsight, you don't THINK the crystals are sitting in your gut anymore... you FEEL them somewhere, and their power, but-

    Your thoughts are interrupted by Razz coming over, out of breath.

    "O-Oh. Oh, yeah, um, my lord, um, my boss wants to speak to you. Er, my leafdancer boss, not- you know."

    He pauses, brightening up.

    "Oh, and we got a fucking prisoner, if you wanted to look at it!"

    >COMMAND?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:16 No.16769234
    >>16769222
    >>16769222
    we'll eat anyone not sufficiently inspired by our ancestor groove interpretive dancing and blorping.

    But seriously, vivic city is go.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:16 No.16769235
    rolled 35 = 35

    >>16769222

    I think witnessing us TWIST AND MOLD THE VERY SUBSTANCE OF NATURE TO OUR WHIMS TO STOP A FIERY CATACLYSM FROM THE SKIES THROUGH OUR SHEER FORCE OF WILL should be inspiring enough.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:18 No.16769249
    rolled 24 = 24

    >>16769233
    We need to now start building an empire. Lets go talk with the boss and see what he wants, then, if what we learned wasn't that important, we'll talk to the prisoners.

    Also, OP, are the woodfolk elves? Have we been fucking the shit out of elves this whole time?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:19 No.16769250
    rolled 1 = 1

    >Command?

    BRING BOTH BEFORE ME. I SHALL HAVE DINNER WITH MY ENTERTAINMENT.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:19 No.16769252
    rolled 32 = 32

    >>16769233

    Deal with the prisoner first. Interrogate him (via mouth fangs to his face) to find out where more of the woodfolk are so we can hunt them down as well.

    When we get the answers we want, rip his face off and consume him.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:19 No.16769256
    >>16769233

    LizardMoonVivec dude here, I love you so much OP, I just love everything right now. Especially my fellow fa/tg/uys. My dreams weren't squashed and I can now happily include a LizardMan version of Vivec and the wonderous tales of the BLORP in my next game of WHFBRPG.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:19 No.16769257
    rolled 13 = 13

    >>16769250
    What this anon said but not what he rolled.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:20 No.16769258
    rolled 10 = 10

    >>16769233
    The prisoner first, he might be able to tell us (with some calming vibes and a raping of his brain) where the other tribes that live in the forest are. I'm sure there's more than one woodfolk settlement even if this is the main one, and that's not something we can allow.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:20 No.16769259
    rolled 16 = 16

    >>16769233
    Have the sundancers chop up and eat the kings body. If there's any power left in it, they might get a collective MYSTERIOUS TIME-STREAM upgrade.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:20 No.16769260
    rolled 19 = 19

    >>16769250
    >natural one
    >the prisoner escapes
    >the leafdancer boss launches a bloody coup.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:20 No.16769261
    rolled 1 = 1

    >>16769252
    No, wait. We'll use him as our envoy. When we go to tell the Woodfolk to fuck off or submit and join our GLORIOUS EMPIRE, we'll piggyback on this fucker and use him in a manner just like we've used Razz.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:21 No.16769262
    rolled 22 = 22

    >>16769233
    we can eat the corpses and raise or skeletal minions later. Let's see what his boss wants.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:22 No.16769269
    >>16769260

    Implying any Sunfang Lizardmen would fucking DARE challenge us after we not only saved a good chunk of this world from fiery damnation but GAVE them a giant fucking chunk of space rock to hollow out and mold into their own fucking city.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:22 No.16769271
    rolled 7 = 7

    >>16769258
    >>16769252
    I want to know what those original woodfolk were doing in our cave with that stone on her neck. Was it a punishment, or did she run away, or what?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:23 No.16769274
         File1319854998.jpg-(12 KB, 170x206, 1301162195718.jpg)
    12 KB
    rolled 30 = 30

    >>16769261

    I guess not
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:24 No.16769281
    rolled 18 = 18

    >>16769271
    That bothers me to. She didn't like the stone, I remember that.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)22:27 No.16769290
    Sorry, just got off the phone! Voting stops here
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:28 No.16769296
    rolled 38 = 38

    >>16769281
    Its obvious they were a sacrifice to us, made on orders of the old chief, who knew the yellow stone would give us the power to communicate, and their meat would give us the strength to evolve.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:30 No.16769310
    >>16769296
    I don't think the old chief was in any position to make demands of the woodfolk. And why would his son kill the sacrifice?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:34 No.16769341
    >>16769310
    A sacrifice doesn't have to be willing, but no idea for the woodsfolk mauling.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:40 No.16769386
    >>16769310
    Sacrifice does not mean willing. Both woodelves were beaten and bloody already, obviously forced into it, captured and delivered to us. The yellow stone was placed around one of their necks, to entice us to eat it.

    Chiefs son beat it to death, because it tried to leave the cave. Chiefs son later pocketed the stone in order to try it all over again later.

    YFW you ruined everything, you horrible bloodthirsty people.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:48 No.16769442
    WAIT! OP! Would it be possible to BRING BACK the Chief and his Son as Wraiths? Possibly to start up our very own Undead Army Possibly make them our Ghostly BODYGUARDS?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:51 No.16769472
    rolled 27 = 27

    >>16769442

    This, eventually anyway.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:52 No.16769482
    >>16769442
    We DO have a part of them with us, somewhere in our infinite stomach.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)22:52 No.16769485
    >>16769252
    >Deal with the prisoner first. Interrogate him (via mouth fangs to his face) to find out where more of the woodfolk are so we can hunt them down as well. When we get the answers we want, rip his face off and consume him.

    You decide to deal with the prisoner first; you get Razz to carry you over because you've become a little slower on your feet thanks to increased muscle mass and heavy bone armor weighing you down.

    You should probably get legs that aren't tiny adorable stubs.

    The spindly, pointy-eared woodfolk is being held between two grinning sunfangs. The woodfolk's covered in mud- you have a feeling that the reason you didn't see it when everyone was kneeling was because its guards were kneeling on the back of the woodfolk's head.

    It's- he's?- glaring at you, but there's no fire in his eyes. "You've... you've killed our prophet. Our tyrant. I will answer any-"

    You cut him off by jamming mouth-hooks into either side of his face. He struggles and shrieks, but a quick, almost-instinctive pulse of your calming aura puts a stop to that.

    You see... well, you see that there are two smaller settlements further to the west and the northwest. The one to the WEST is smaller, more of an outpost than anything else- the virtual clone of this village.

    The NORTHWEST one is the stranger one. Standing out like a scar in the middle of the forest, you see a few memories- the Northwest 'village' resembles nothing more than a pit in the ground, lined by more mud-huts. You see woodfolk hustling in and out of the pit, going in with strange tools and coming out with gray rocks and hard metal.

    Overseeing the activity is a large hut, two stories tall. Hmm.
    (continued)
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)22:53 No.16769494
    (continued)
    >>16769271
    You BLORP over a picture of the iron band with the inset yellow crystal- the one that the strange woodfolk was wearing.

    The current woodfolk has to take a second to recover from your LIFTING PICTURES FROM HIS BRAIN. "A... an exile's neck-shackle?" he hisses in disgust. "Those who wear it deserve it. Not only does the iron burn our skins, but the crystal- it drains the undeserving of knowledge. We shackle it to them, release them into the wilds, and in time, they are reduced to mindless beasts."

    >... BLORP?

    "How could you not know- only the truly deserving gain anything from the crystals! ALL of them are poison to the rest of us!" The woodfolk gives you a grudging shrug. "... I guess you're deserving. But... we are gathering them for a just cause-"

    "YOU FUCKER!"

    You jerk a little bit as Razz SLUGS the woodfolk in the stomach. You scrabble to keep your grip on the prisoner's face- you've never seen the leafdancer this mad before.

    "THAT'S why you kill us? THAT'S why you kicked us out of our own motherfucking forests!? You were after our goddamn crystals, you asshole!"

    Razz punches the woodfolk again. The impact causes you to fly off- there's a wet ripping sound as you take most of the woodfolk's head and face with him.

    You take a moment to glare at an embarrassed, mortified-looking Razz before you gobble the face down. And the rest of the woodfolk. No evolution this time, though.

    You still have an elder to go talk to, should you so desire, or you can do something else.

    >COMMAND?
    >> Nothingmancer 10/28/11(Fri)22:55 No.16769512
    rolled 24 = 24

    >>16769494
    Visit the Elder.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)22:55 No.16769515
    >>16769442
    You pause.

    The idea has merit, but you're honestly not sure if you CAN. You've only tried raising PHYSICAL parts before, not SPIRITUAL.

    And... something tells you that you need some kind of physical focus to even TRY.

    You turn to stare at your bear skeleton, who's wearing the Chieftain's brilliant red plumes-and-scalp.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:56 No.16769522
    rolled 25 = 25

    >>16769494

    Attempt to raise Wraithguards using the previous Chieftan's soul and his sons as well, for our own personal WRAITH BODYGUARDS! YEAH! ALL WHO ARE PROVEN SHALL LIVE IN DEATH AND GUARD THE MIGHTY BLORP! BEING BLESSED TO WATCH IT GROW STRONGER AND CHANGE THE VERY FABRIC OF THE UNIVERSE TO ITS WILL!
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:56 No.16769525
    rolled 8 = 8

    >>16769494
    Yeah, let's go talk to the elder.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:57 No.16769533
    rolled 35 = 35

    >>16769522

    THIS!
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:57 No.16769538
    rolled 15 = 15

    >>16769494
    Well, lets talk to that elder now. Also, ask Razz what he knows about the crystals.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:58 No.16769543
    rolled 39 = 39

    >>16769533

    Whelp, after we make our Wraithguard can we take them to visit the Shaman-person?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:58 No.16769545
    rolled 32 = 32

    >>16769515
    Ghost Chieftain? Ghost Chieftain.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:58 No.16769554
    >>16769543

    I'm not sure, but a 39 is a critical just like a nat 40 right?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:59 No.16769558
    rolled 28 = 28

    >>16769494

    Let's go see what the elder wants.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)22:59 No.16769563
    rolled 9 = 9

    >>16769515
    Do it. Combined Tyrant corpse+Chief spirit+Bearbones.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:01 No.16769583
    The dice gods apparently want us to have an honour guard of our Chosen Ones.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:05 No.16769628
    >>16769515
    I'm so glad I suggested taking that plume now, regardless of if it works or not.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)23:06 No.16769632
    Cutting off votes here! Raising the dead and then talking to the elder.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:06 No.16769633
         File1319857580.png-(234 KB, 640x640, blorp.png)
    234 KB
    >mfw this thread
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:09 No.16769672
         File1319857742.jpg-(49 KB, 367x451, 1286086292132.jpg)
    49 KB
    rolled 13 = 13

    >>16769633
    >37 hours of ms paint

    Looks like shit.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:09 No.16769673
    >>16769633

    FUKKEN SAVED
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)23:13 No.16769713
    >>16769522
    >>16769533
    >>16769543
    >>16769545
    >Wraiths --> Elder

    You immediately call your bear over- it's limping badly- and set to work, focusing your power on the red plumes. They flow all the way down the bear's back, so at least there's a LOT to work with.

    After a few seconds of sickly-green light, you hear booming laughter. Soon enough, a glowing blue specter, lizardman-shaped, rises out of the ground, towering head and shoulders over the rest of the sunfang- christ, he's larger than he was IN LIFE. And even in death, his fabulous ghostly plumes glow a brilliant blood red.


    You feel your Necromancy powers stretched to their limits keeping both the bear and the wraith up; you can't handle anymore undead right now! You MIGHT be able to add more bones to the bear, but...

    Anyway, the Chieftain seems pretty chill for someone who was just torn from their eternal rest. "Fuck, man, you can't leave well enough alone, huh?"

    He winks, baring a toothy grin. "I saw what you did to the woodfolk. Fucking good show, my lord. You even put my shit to good use, too, eh? Damn straight!" The Chieftain pounds a fist against his see-through chest. "Razz the Chieftain is yours to command!!"

    You suffer a moment of utter confusion and existential crisis.
    (continued)
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)23:14 No.16769716
    (continued)
    >BLORP?

    "Huh? Yeah, that's really my name."

    You point to Razz the leafdancer and blorp.

    "He's Razz too, yeah."

    You point to a random sunfang.

    "Razz."

    You point to another random sunfang.

    "Razz Jr."

    You point to a THIRD random sunfang.

    "Razz." The Chieftain pauses. "... we thought it was a REAL fuckin' good name," he says, a mite defensively.

    You spend the next half hour gathering all the sunfang and making DAMN SURE that they all have different names now. No, you don't fucking care if they really liked the name 'Razz'- yes, you CAN do that.

    You resort to pointing at the dead tyrant king and the meteor. That solves it pretty quickly. Razz the leafdancer remains Razz, and the Chieftain is now Aazz.
    (continued)
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:17 No.16769737
    >>16769716
    Fucking glorious.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)23:17 No.16769743
    When the dust settles, you finally approach the elder leafdancer, bear and wraith following closely behind you.

    The old sunfang looks very similar to all the others, but for his duller scales and his lackluster plumes. He looks up with a somber expression on his scarred face.

    "... my lord. I expect you have a lot of questions for me."

    You pause. You... you DEFINITELY do, but you just don't know where to start.

    >COMMAND?
    (CHOOSE TWO TOPICS TO ASK ABOUT.)
    >> Nothingmancer 10/28/11(Fri)23:19 No.16769759
    rolled 32 = 32

    >>16769743
    Rivalry with Woodfolk
    Crystals
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:19 No.16769760
    rolled 31 = 31

    >>16769743

    DESTINY

    TRUTH
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:20 No.16769769
    rolled 34 = 34

    >>16769743
    What is the history of our people, wise one?

    The FUCK is up with these stones?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:20 No.16769771
    rolled 21 = 21

    >>16769743
    Hey, we can use the dead chieftain as a mouthpiece now. Cool. Anyways, I think we should ask how the lizard-folk do the leaf stuff, and what he knows about the gems.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)23:21 No.16769780
         File1319858496.jpg-(49 KB, 413x565, 1318482834636.jpg)
    49 KB
    >>16769633
    >those mouth-hooks
    >those teeth
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:25 No.16769817
    rolled 18 = 18

    >>16769743

    How many crystals are their, and who holds them.

    Who the fuck do I have to murder and devour to get these crystals.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:25 No.16769818
    rolled 14 = 14

    Crystals
    The Woodfolk's "strange village"
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:26 No.16769834
    rolled 35 = 35

    >>16769817

    Seconding this.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:35 No.16769918
         File1319859303.gif-(1.73 MB, 400x225, 1319062096451.gif)
    1.73 MB
    >>16769633
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)23:37 No.16769942
    >>16769769
    >>16769759
    >>16769834
    >Our history + Woodfolk
    Razz bustles off to babysit the rest of the sunfangs; you blorp a few times, with Aazz the ghostly (former-)chieftain playing translator.

    The elder, Zazz, remains seated. "My lord. Our legends tell us that the Sunfang Tribe exists for three purposes: first, to pay homage to you. Second, to safeguard the crystals." He pauses. "... we have since forgotten the third purpose, thanks to the woodfolk."

    Zazz draws in on himself a bit. "We don't know much about the woodfolk. In the beginning, we were rivals fighting over the same territory. Sometime during the past, they began showing powers like... like that one you fought. Then they forced us out of our home, taking all the crystals we have safeguarded."

    Zazz narrows his eyes. "They killed most of us. Those they let live, they put the Exile Bands on." The yellow crystal-set shackles that drained knowledge, then. "We're a shadow of our former selves: fucking idiots who can barely cast magic. That's... that's all I know."
    (continued)
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:37 No.16769944
    >>16769633
    every day i come home to my evo thread my fucking blorp just sits there with this fucking face. fucking faggot blorp man.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)23:40 No.16769969
    >Crystals
    You blorp for a few more seconds. Even Aazz is subdued as he translates.

    "The crystals..." Zazz makes a face. "Almost everything we know about their properties, you already know," he mutters. "They grant strength to some, but maim or twist anyone 'undeserving.' If there was a truth to them, we have since lost that knowledge."

    >BLORP?

    "I don't know how many there are. We never held them all, you see; we just tried to gather as much as we can and keep them out of the wrong hands. Yours are the right hands, of course," Zazz adds hastily.

    "As to their locaton..." He lashes his tail against the ground- once, twice. Zazz glowers at nothing in particular. "... you'll have to ask those goddamn motherfucking shiteating woodfolk where OUR crystals are, the sons of bitches."

    And suddenly, something is... off.

    Your hackles raise and you start looking around, ignoring your companions' questions.

    >SENSE!
    FIRST THREE d40 ROLLS, 25+ SUCCEEDS
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:41 No.16769983
    rolled 21 = 21

    >>16769969
    My blorp sense is tingling...
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:41 No.16769988
    rolled 30 = 30

    >>16769969
    Bitches can't sneak up on a GOD!
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:41 No.16769991
    rolled 26 = 26

    >>16769942

    Well it's obvious what our long-term goal should be:

    Fucking murder or dive out every single woodfolk, take our goddamn crystals back, and use their power to further evolve ourselves and rule the sunfangs AS THEIR RIGHTFUL GOD.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:42 No.16769998
    rolled 24 = 24

    >>16769969
    HA HA OH GOD.

    >>16769988
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:42 No.16769999
    rolled 30 = 30

    >>16769969
    roll
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:42 No.16770001
    >>16769988
    the blorp smiles upon your dubs.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:43 No.16770008
    ITT: Blorp fucking sucks at perception rolls
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:43 No.16770011
    >>16770001
    Aremt dub dubs = Quads?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:44 No.16770021
    rolled 4 = 4

    >>16769988

    Awwwww yeah bitches.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:45 No.16770030
    >>16769999
    the blorp is generous with his quads
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:47 No.16770047
    rolled 9 = 9

    >>16769988
    >>16769999

    >dubs quads and 30's everywhere

    Clearly this is a sign.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:47 No.16770055
    rolled 24 = 24

    >>16769969

    Lets use our biomancy powers to heighten our senses, so we can determine what's up.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:49 No.16770071
         File1319860149.jpg-(200 KB, 816x816, patmaninawe.jpg)
    200 KB
    rolled 17 = 17

    >>16770055
    >77
    >00
    >55

    Triple dubs. The blorp gods are with us tonight.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/28/11(Fri)23:50 No.16770083
    >>16769988
    >9988

    SHIT SHIT SHIT

    You snarl and slam into Zazz, knocking him out of the way right before something lances into the ground where he was sitting- what feels like PURE LIQUID BURNING sears the top of your tail, burning a furrow right across it.

    You leapfrog off the flailing elder and land ON TOP of your airborne attacker; in a flurry of feathers and harsh, ugly shrieking, both of you fall to the ground, with you on top. Whatever it is tries to bite you, but you clock it in the chin with a paw, and it's stunned for a few seconds. You actually take a look-

    - and you're sitting on a bird. More precisely, it's some ungodly combination of lizard and bird, roughly the size of the huge ghostly Aazz. Snaggled crocodile teeth protrude from its beak, mottled red-and-black feathers sprout erratically from between scales, and there are even spikes sticking out across its spine.

    ... and you just pinned the fucker before you even saw what it WAS.

    "SHIT SHIT SHIT!"

    Aazz rushes in and grabs its beak closed with two ghostly hands, stopping it from biting you anymore; you sit on the monster's chest and glare at it.

    ... now what.

    >COMMAND?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:52 No.16770097
    rolled 33 = 33

    >>16770083

    Calming aura lv 2, then use our mind probe to see what it knows.

    Depending on the information we can either devour it if we will be able to evolve, or try to enslave it.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:53 No.16770109
    rolled 1 = 1

    >>16770083
    You came to the wrong forest mother fucker

    Spin webs across his wing joints to keep him from flying away and get Bear bones over here to pin him down while we eat its godamn face off.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:53 No.16770110
    rolled 38 = 38

    >>16770083

    MOUTH PINCER MIND MELD GO GO GO

    THEN EAT IT WHEN WE'VE EXTRACTED ALL NECESSARY INFORMATION
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:53 No.16770112
    rolled 11 = 11

    >>16770083
    Bite and communicate if applicable, consume if not.
    WHO SENT YE TO FACE A GOD?!
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:54 No.16770114
    rolled 12 = 12

    >>16770083
    Calm and communicate.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:54 No.16770118
    rolled 1 = 1

    >>16770083

    another gifted, take its knowledge and power
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:54 No.16770119
    rolled 13 = 13

    >>16770097
    I say we hack off its gnarled crocodile-man limbs and use them to replace our stubby adorable ones, either way!
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:54 No.16770121
         File1319860482.png-(20 KB, 642x715, 1316929448461.png)
    20 KB
    >>16770109
    >1

    Fuck
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:54 No.16770122
    rolled 3 = 3

    >>16770083
    We're interrogating this flame buzzard. Then, we're gonna eat it. It's clearly one of the evolved ones like us and Bearbones.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:55 No.16770131
         File1319860537.png-(518 KB, 763x992, 1315388019635.png)
    518 KB
    >>16770119
    >replace leg nubs

    FUCK


    YOU
    >> Anonymous 10/28/11(Fri)23:58 No.16770161
    >>16770131
    We're gonna need to grow ours. Their shortness is killing our mobility. Or, we could get that teleportation we've been sitting on since thread 2.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:01 No.16770179
    >>16770161
    We can control the dead and the forest itself. We have an entire race of warrior lizards who consider us their God and will fight in our name to the death. We can numb fuck anyone in sight with a mix of 3 bubbling orgasms mixed with the feeling of your first Christmas all rolled into one.

    The FUCK do we *need* mobility for?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:01 No.16770180
    rolled 23 = 23

    >>16770161

    No, I agree. Better legs should definitely be our next body upgrade.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:01 No.16770182
    rolled 14 = 14

    >>16770161

    how about levitation next upgrade?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:03 No.16770190
    rolled 40 = 40

    >>16770119
    >>16770131
    >>16770161
    WAIT.

    WAIT.

    GUYS.

    WHAT IF.

    JUST WHAT IF.

    GUYS.

    WHAT IF...

    WE STOLE/GREW BETTER LEGS...

    WHICH WERE -RETRACTABLE- INTO ADORABLE LEG NUBS THANKS TO OUR BIOMANCY POWERS?!

    BEST OF BOTH WORLDS PLUS THE ADDITION OF SURPRISE CLAWED-FIST-TO-YOUR-FACE!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:03 No.16770195
    rolled 15 = 15

    >>16770083
    RIP AND TEAR
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:03 No.16770196
    rolled 10 = 10

    >>16770179

    Because in case you haven't noticed in the last fight, sometimes we have to beat the shut out of people ourselves. And stumpy little newt legs is hampering that ability.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:04 No.16770204
    >>16770179
    We have absurd strength and durability for our size, as well as razor sharp claws and parasitic mouth hooks. It'd be a shame to let that all go to waste.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:04 No.16770208
    rolled 31 = 31

    >>16770190
    Well fine.

    One last roll for viper body, fuck legs.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:05 No.16770215
    rolled 18 = 18

    >>16770190
    >nat fucking 40

    THE GODS WILL IT!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:05 No.16770224
    rolled 36 = 36

    >>16770190

    got my vote
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:06 No.16770226
         File1319861177.png-(115 KB, 852x480, AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHH(...).png)
    115 KB
    rolled 36 = 36

    >>16770190
    >I rolled a 40 on that action
    >MY HEAD IS FULL OF FUCK

    CRITICAL MORPHING LEGS TIME. RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR YOUR LIMBS!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:07 No.16770245
    rolled 18 = 18

    My god the dice shenanigans in this thread are almost as hilarious as Abaddon Quest.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:07 No.16770246
    To everybody rolling for upgrades. OP said EARLIER THIS THREAD that he wouldn't take votes before he asked for them.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:08 No.16770253
    rolled 30 = 30

    >>16770190
    >>16770226
    >>16770224

    >double 36s voting for a 40

    THE GOD'S WILL BE DONE
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)00:08 No.16770260
    >>16770110
    >>16770097
    You waste no time in slamming your mouth-hooks into its neck; the lizard-bird shrieks again, but your calming influence stops it from thrashing about. Wonderful, wonderful blood gushes down your throat- aww yeah, this is the REAL good stuff.

    Now, let's see about those thou-

    >UNNATURAL! UNNATURAL SCUM! STILL EVOLVING! REVENGE!! DIE, SCUM, DIE DIE DIE-

    Briefly, somewhere in the middle of your pounding headache, you catch a flash of the weirdest damn mountain ever; it's like someone whittled a rock into a round flat disc, embedded half of it into the ground, and then shoved it over to make a slanted garden.

    ... you get no other context, no matter how much you probe.

    That done, you tear the bird's face off and start eating it; after CATCHING A METEOR WITH YOUR BRAIN, you're pretty ravenous, and one woodfolk prisoner just wasn't eno-

    >MYSTERIOUS TIME STREAM EVOLVES YOU

    _________________
    CHOOSE:
    - 1 New Unnatural Power (UP)
    +OPTIONAL: Replace 1 existing UP with 1 New UP of the same level!
    - 3 Body Part Improvements

    Example of how the option works:
    - Fire Breath + replace Calm Lvl 2 for Ice Breath Lvl 2
    You don't NEED to replace a power if you don't want to.
    - Ex: Just gain Fire Breath.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:09 No.16770267
    rolled 34 = 34

    >>16770246

    We weren't specifically rolling for those upgrades, just discussing it ahead of time. The dice roll that accompanied that post was incidental.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:12 No.16770284
    rolled 21 = 21

    >>16770260
    New Power: Time stop
    Body Upgrades: Bigger legs, Poison spit, Stronger claws.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:12 No.16770292
         File1319861570.jpg-(64 KB, 345x250, Running aligator.jpg)
    64 KB
    rolled 15 = 15

    >>16770190
    Longer legs that are retractable into adorable nubs.
    A prehensile tail for manipulation.
    Better eyes.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)00:13 No.16770295
    >>16770190
    >40
    >jesus
    .......

    I... I'll make an exception JUST THIS ONCE

    _________________
    CHOOSE:
    - 1 New Unnatural Power (UP)
    +OPTIONAL: Replace 1 existing UP with 1 New UP of the same level!
    - 2 Body Part Improvements
    >RETRACTABLE LEGS

    Example of how the option works:
    - Fire Breath + replace Calm Lvl 2 for Ice Breath Lvl 2
    You don't NEED to replace a power if you don't want to.
    - Ex: Just gain Fire Breath.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:13 No.16770305
    rolled 9 = 9

    >>16770260

    retractable legs-upgrade biomancy
    MOAR BETTER FANGS
    up jaw strength
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:14 No.16770308
    rolled 3 = 3

    >>16770260
    New Ability: Skry
    Vocal cords
    Prehensile tail
    Better eyes!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:14 No.16770315
    >>16770295
    Should I roll >>16770284 again or just leave it?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:14 No.16770317
    rolled 29 = 29

    >>16770295
    Oh, then Vocal cords is a MUST!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:15 No.16770325
    rolled 16 = 16

    >>16770295

    we're gonna need vocal cords some time or another
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:15 No.16770336
    rolled 2 = 2

    >>16770295
    Prehensile tail.
    Retractable tail spike.

    And lets get that shadow walk power.
    >> NSRLA !O1GBzZ3EBo 10/29/11(Sat)00:16 No.16770340
    >>16770295
    Vocal cords niggro
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:16 No.16770344
    rolled 11 = 11

    Shapeshifting/body sculpting lvl 2

    Longer/ muscular legs
    Improved eyes
    Tail spikes
    >> NSRLA !O1GBzZ3EBo 10/29/11(Sat)00:16 No.16770345
    rolled 6 = 6

    >>16770340
    Forgot roll
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:16 No.16770348
         File1319861812.jpg-(66 KB, 512x382, Mamool_Ja_Savant.jpg)
    66 KB
    rolled 17 = 17

    >>16770260
    Levitation

    Increase body size
    Increase tail size
    Develop groved scales for rapid slithering

    Let's free up some Necro juice and lower the strain on our concentration. Bind the Chieftain's soul to Bear-bones using the plumes as a container.

    Also upgrade our Bear-tank with Biomancy. Dense as fuck bark for armor to protect the bones from blunt damage and mount a thorn seed cannon turret upon his back. We must prepare for WAR!

    Are we not the Deity of the godamn Forest? We need to start looking the part. Also do the Sunfang bare a resemblance to these creatures? Just curious about what our people look like.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:17 No.16770353
    rolled 28 = 28

    >>16770295
    Power UP the Biomancy.

    Increase mouth-hooks.
    Increase jaw strength.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:17 No.16770354
    rolled 16 = 16

    >>16770260
    For the power a mix of our shapeshifting powers, biomancy and necromancy, so we're able to fuse with other (dead) organisms, I want to use our bear as actual armor and not just a glorified a carrier.
    For bodyparts go with the retractable into nubs, leg idea.
    Also a weapon for our tail.
    and multiple spectrum eyesight.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)00:17 No.16770358
    >>16770315
    Eh, roll it again.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:17 No.16770361
    rolled 16 = 16

    >>16770317
    Oh, I see. Now that we have an interpreter, you want to take away the Blorp. No sale!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:18 No.16770369
    rolled 10 = 10

    >>16770358
    You got it.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:18 No.16770370
    rolled 9 = 9

    >>16770260
    TIME STOP
    RIPPING CLAWS
    METALLIC ARMOR
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:18 No.16770373
    rolled 5 = 5

    >>16770353
    Supporting this
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:18 No.16770374
    >>16770317
    >Any rolls suggestions or posts that aim to deprive EVO Thread of Blorping or diminish it's use in any way shape or form is to be ignored
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:18 No.16770375
    rolled 26 = 26

    >>16770295
    power up shape shifting
    bipedal form, and improve claws.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:19 No.16770381
    rolled 6 = 6

    >>16770348
    voting for this!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:19 No.16770383
    rolled 37 = 37

    >>16770260
    New Power: Biomancy 2

    Body Upgrades: Bigger bloodsucker mouthpieces.

    Spines for our armored skin.

    And, maybe, if possible, upgrading our existing webspinning organs wiiith... Maybe with our biomancy? Going from general webshitting to SHITTING LIFE. In some sort of perverse salamander abomination death-God circle of life. We eat things in a cavalcade of blood and gore, and then bring life from our dung, but in a literal manner! We're like an adorable little Aztec god.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:19 No.16770385
    rolled 29 = 29

    >>16770295

    FUCK WE ARE NOT GETTING VOCAL CORDS

    Necromancy LEVEL UP
    More jaw strength
    Better eyes
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:19 No.16770389
    rolled 33 = 33

    >>16770374
    Rollin to support this.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:20 No.16770392
    >>16770374
    Bitch, Its not like we ARENT going to end all our sentences with BLORP
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:20 No.16770394
    rolled 4 = 4

    >>16770348
    I like this, voting fr this.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:20 No.16770403
    rolled 2 = 2

    >>16770295
    Power: Scrying
    Replace: Shape-shifting for transferring/dividing our consciousness into whatever we bite so we can have hosts without the middleman-consciousness

    Limbs:
    Vocal cords(bonus points for deep soul voice)
    Eagle like eyes
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:21 No.16770409
    rolled 35 = 35

    >>16770403
    Rolling for this, Also, Blorp at end of all sentences
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:22 No.16770416
         File1319862127.jpg-(18 KB, 512x384, akulol.jpg)
    18 KB
    rolled 22 = 22

    >>16770383
    >rolled a 37 after natural 40 crit for horrifying melding together of crocoarms to adorastubs
    >the fuck is this
    >the fuck am I
    >the fuck are you
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:22 No.16770417
         File1319862128.jpg-(55 KB, 480x502, 1318426602882.jpg)
    55 KB
    >>16770348
    >two others anon vote for it
    >all three of our rolls are shit

    Dammit dice gods why?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:22 No.16770418
    rolled 12 = 12

    >>16770295
    New power: Gravity control lv 1

    Body improvements:

    - Enhanced senses(General enhancement of the 5 senses.)

    - A new limb that functions as a cannon that allows us to fire acid.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:23 No.16770427
    rolled 24 = 24

    >>16770348

    Voting for this.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:23 No.16770428
    rolled 27 = 27

    >>16770403
    Switch out those eyes with Tiny horns and you have a deal!
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)00:24 No.16770439
         File1319862282.jpg-(39 KB, 97x126, 1318226811146.jpg)
    39 KB
    Stopping voting!

    >>16770383
    >high roller
    ... what am i looking at
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:24 No.16770442
    rolled 31 = 31

    >>16770418

    Gravity control? Sounds interesting.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:25 No.16770446
    rolled 26 = 26

    >>16770409
    You know, if we ever get better vocal cords, they should just allow us things like Zort and Glub.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:26 No.16770458
         File1319862380.jpg-(118 KB, 432x367, post-89322-1233463324.jpg)
    118 KB
    rolled 2 = 2

    >>16770348
    Wait a second....
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:28 No.16770487
    rolled 2 = 2

    Rolling for awakening shadow travel powers.

    Want the ability to roll into a ball of boney hide and muscle, like an armadillo.

    Further, cilia (sp?) that can propel us around in that form.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:29 No.16770496
    >>16770383
    I am so, so confused about what the fuck we're going to look like.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:29 No.16770503
    >>16770348
    at least do the upgrades tot he bear!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:31 No.16770514
    >>16770496
    I have no idea, but we're gonna shit soldiers.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:34 No.16770531
    rolled 29 = 29

    >>16770439
    Welp, you heard just fine, OP. We're rounding out our abilities to bring death with the ability to bring life.

    In the Age of Ancients, the world was unformed.

    Shrouded by fog.

    A land of weird sideways crags,

    Great archtrees,

    And everlasting asshole woodfolk.

    But then, there was Salamander.

    And with Salamander, came DISPARITY.

    Heat and cold.

    Life and death.

    And of course, BLORP and GLEEP.

    Then, from the GLEEP, they came...

    And found the SOULS of BLORP within the Salamander.

    2011: Dark Blorps.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:35 No.16770537
         File1319862933.jpg-(66 KB, 480x360, 1303611160848.jpg)
    66 KB
    >We're like an adorable little Aztec god.

    This quest is awesome and I fucking love you guys.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)00:37 No.16770547
    >>16770383
    >Biomancy Lvl. 2 (BONUS: Webs of Life)
    >Parasitic Mouth-Hooks Upgrade
    >Bone Armor WITH SPIKES
    >Longer Stronger Legs WITH RETRACTION

    You don't feel so much pain when you evolve like this anymore; more like an adrenaline rush with a few pins and needles dragging through your veins every now and then.

    You open your mouth and yawn- and flex your mouth-hooks. They're pretty horrifying; long, thin, and sharp, with tips like a nightmare mix of scalpels and syringes. One bite will slice through most forms of natural armor, and you will have MUCH better control over how much blood you take in at once.

    Armored plates line all across your spine, wrap around your sides, and go down your limbs; short spikes pop out at regular intervals. You are also about three inches off the ground, thanks to your longer, heavyset legs; you have about as much mobility as you used to, now that you can support your own weight adequately.

    You also spend a few minutes playing around and retracting and un-retracting your legs, making bouncing noises all the while (blorp, blorp, blorp, blorp).

    Finally, with your Biomancy... you can sense life in a small radius. And you KNOW that you have better fine-tuned control over plants and flesh- living flesh.

    You are no longer a mere overgrown cave salamander, but some sort of horrifying nightmare salamander.

    Now... what to do next?

    ======
    1) WOODFOLK:
    You kind of DO want to go help the sunfang take down the woodfolk's settlements, especially for the crystals. There's the tiny village in the west, and the big pit in the northwest.

    2) DEAD THINGS
    You can also see to your bear- it's not in good shape. At all. And you still have a dinosaur body to dick around with, don't you?

    3) SUNFANG
    Finally, you could take stock of the Sunfang Tribe and see if there's anything that can be done for them as a whole...

    4) BLORP
    ... or, of course, you can take your own option.

    >COMMAND?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:38 No.16770561
    >>16770537
    I'm kind of apprehensive abut evolving further. As we become more deadly and badass, we also lose what made us Blorpy and adorable.

    Perhaps if all the badass changes where retractable...
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:40 No.16770587
    rolled 13 = 13

    >>16770547
    >DEAD THINGS
    We should see to reinforcing Bearbones before we assault the elves.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:41 No.16770590
    rolled 38 = 38

    >>16770561
    I feel we should delve deeper into Psionic powers and defensive and small body changes as we power creep along. At the end of this I was to be sitting on a throne of bones so extensive that clouds float in the background.

    Derpy eyes and cute leg nubs in a sleeping form, a bead of droll lazily rolling off a single mouth hook
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:41 No.16770591
    rolled 11 = 11

    >>16770547

    DINO BEAR SKELETON FUSION A-GO-GO

    After we finish with those modifications, lets see about getting our sunfang tribe equipped and ready to move against the woodfolk. I can just taste those delicious crystals already.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:41 No.16770596
    rolled 32 = 32

    >>16770561
    being blorpy means being a legless, fleshy snack.

    I'd rather live.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:42 No.16770598
    rolled 38 = 38

    >>16770547
    We need to establish ourselves better before we go and fuck about with the Woodfolk and bring them into our expanding domain. Transfer Bear's loyal spirit into the T-Rex if we can manage such a feat. Oh, and have a talk with Chieftain Aazz's wraith so we can feel like smug motherfuckers about our great success.

    >>16770561
    EXACTLY what I was thinking!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:42 No.16770601
    rolled 8 = 8

    >>16770561

    I know how this could be remedied, just turn all the armor and shit into super-dense tissue that looked like it did when we started out next evolution
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:42 No.16770603
    >>16770547
    We should flex our necromantic muscles a little. Bind Zazz inside bearbones, then combined bearbones and the tyrant king into some kind of super t-Rex, bear, bro chieftain, warrior abomination.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:43 No.16770612
    rolled 6 = 6

    >>16770603
    rolling
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:43 No.16770613
         File1319863411.png-(145 KB, 480x360, akustare.png)
    145 KB
    >>16770598
    >roll my third crit or near-crit roll in a row.

    Is this real life?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:43 No.16770615
    rolled 18 = 18

    >>16770603

    you mean Aazz
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:44 No.16770621
    >>16770596
    We've done pretty fucking well for ourselves without SUPA LEGS so far
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:44 No.16770628
    >look for EVO thread
    >can't find it
    >give up
    >several hours later
    >250 replies, front page

    GOD DAMMIT! Oh well, plenty of reading!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:45 No.16770635
    >>16770561
    We could probably use our biomancy to morph ourselves temporarily back into our original derpy little salamander self. Then, when we get threatened, OH MY GOD IT'S HUGE AND PLATES AND SPIKES AND WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE THINGS IN ITS MOUTH JESUS CHRIST WHY?!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:47 No.16770654
    rolled 32 = 32

    >>16770547

    Dead things. We need to see what we can do about the bear. Maybe we can combine the bear corpse and the spirit chief so he can infuse it with ghost-energy and pilot it like a tank to further our goals.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:47 No.16770656
    rolled 32 = 32

    >>16770596
    Have you not considered that the reason the dice favor us is because of our endearing, blorpy form?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:47 No.16770659
         File1319863662.jpg-(391 KB, 3000x2000, Bleep copy.jpg)
    391 KB
    rolled 6 = 6

    >>16770547

    This might be a bit outdated at this point, but I had a choice between drawfaggin' or reading the actual thread. Thank goodness for the archive. Anyway, here's Blorp V2.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)00:48 No.16770668
    Stopping voting here!

    >>16770628
    http://catalog.neet.tv/tg/
    This is a faster way to search for threads!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:48 No.16770671
    >>16769633 here

    I'm trying to get a bearing on what the fuck we're supposed to look like. Somebody get a drawfag in here before I unleash more MS Paint upon you all.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:48 No.16770674
    >>16770659
    Welp, gonna be seeing that in my nightmares.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:48 No.16770675
         File1319863734.jpg-(360 KB, 3000x2000, Bleep clean copy.jpg)
    360 KB
    rolled 12 = 12

    >>16770659

    And a clean one free of my horrible chicken scratch of a writing.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:49 No.16770681
    rolled 37 = 37

    >>16770547
    >DEAD THINGS

    I want our land battle carrier 'Bear-
    REX' formed. Add bone and web and plant gun hubs for the Sunfang archers and a large catapult launcher on the back for accelerating Bone/web Sunfang piloted gliders.

    Command chair in the Rex skull. Adorned by the Chieftain's plumes.

    Once our Flag ship is constructed let us go see about reclaiming our stolen lands from the Woodfucks.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:49 No.16770692
         File1319863799.jpg-(460 KB, 1141x1580, FutureRazz.jpg)
    460 KB
    rolled 18 = 18

    HEY GUYS! Perhaps we can Upgrade Razz as a sign of his being Chosen as our Godspeaker, something akin to pic related but more FABULOUS!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:50 No.16770701
    >>16770675
    And that's my new wallpaper.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)00:51 No.16770702
         File1319863871.png-(120 KB, 627x726, 1318458235194.png)
    120 KB
    >>16770659
    >always wrote the mouth-hooks as being simple things
    >now feel the urge to write out a bloodbath every time we use that horrifying thing jesus

    You... you are my hero.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:52 No.16770716
         File1319863966.jpg-(57 KB, 500x712, 1316235448596.jpg)
    57 KB
    rolled 12 = 12

    >>16770675

    WHELP! We are WAY along our way to ending up something like this. Biomancy, Necromancy. A Lizard.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:54 No.16770730
    rolled 6 = 6

    >>16770702

    I will have to get creative if we upgrade it again. I am sure I can find someway of making it more nightmare inducing.

    And now to read the thread!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)00:55 No.16770749
    OP, should we archive yet? We're cutting it rather close methinks.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)01:00 No.16770788
    >>16770598
    >38

    You're honestly not sure if the bear even HAS a soul anymore, but you never know until you try.

    You dash on over to the tyrant king body because HOLY SHIT, WE CAN DASH! and stop in front of it. There's still some meat left on those bones, but you can definitely work with it. Bearbones trundles on over at your command, and you peer into the depths of its eye sockets.

    After a moment, you're startled when you realize that you actually DO feel something in there. It's not the bear that you fought, for sure, but there's a glimmer of personality forming somewhere in that skull.

    And why wouldn't there be? Bearbones cradled you in its ribcage when you were still weak and fleshy. Bearbones crushed many of your enemies before you gained your claws, before you could even get close enough to stand a chance against your enemies. Bearbones stood by your side even when it could no longer aid you, even when you no longer needed bony protection that badly- it barely helped against the tyrant king.

    But even then, you never released your hold on it, never replaced it with the shinier new toy. Bearbones was the instrument of your wrath- YOUR instrument of YOUR wrath- and you never released your necromantic hold on it, not once.

    And now you wish to transfer its spirit and reward it for its loyalty, even though you didn't even know if it was there or not.

    For the first time, Bearbones opens its mouth of its own accord and unleashes a hollow roar that echoes out from the depths of its bones.

    You get to work immediately.
    (continued)
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:02 No.16770804
    >>16770749

    WE ARCHIVED NOW

    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16768424/

    GO VOTE THIS SHIT UP! FOR THE GLORY OF BLORP
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)01:03 No.16770809
    >>16770788
    You have determined that Bearbones has a soul. Successful transfer is guaranteed.

    Now... how much of the tyrant king can you put your bear in?

    FIRST FIVE d40 ROLLS; CRIT ON 39-40.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:04 No.16770815
    rolled 6 = 6

    >>16770809

    rollan for hope
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:04 No.16770822
    rolled 32 = 32

    >>16770809
    MOTHERFUCKING BLORP!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:04 No.16770823
    rolled 33 = 33

    >>16770809
    99.999999%

    I want that dead fuck to be forever imprisoned in a bone machinations of his own body forever to do our bidding whether he likes it or not.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:04 No.16770824
         File1319864686.jpg-(88 KB, 298x254, AW YEAH.jpg)
    88 KB
    >>16770788
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:05 No.16770828
    rolled 29 = 29

    >>16770809
    let's get that crit
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:05 No.16770829
    rolled 31 = 31

    >>16770809

    BLORP!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:05 No.16770840
    rolled 11 = 11

    >>16770809
    Rollan for MEGABEAR
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:06 No.16770844
    rolled 29 = 29

    >>16770809

    For the love of god all of it.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:06 No.16770846
    >>16770788
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrNiDAHFDRQ&feature=related
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:06 No.16770847
    Awww man. No crits, but 3 of the 5 rolls are over 30. That's pretty damn good at least.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:08 No.16770865
    rolled 21 = 21

    >>16770823
    Second.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:10 No.16770877
         File1319865035.jpg-(6 KB, 169x251, Oh fuck.jpg)
    6 KB
    >>16770668
    Never knew about that, thanks a lot!

    >>16770659
    >everyone's face when they see us
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:14 No.16770913
    rolled 13 = 13

    >>16770809

    WE CAN DO EVERYTHING!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:14 No.16770919
    rolled 21 = 21

    >>16770913

    Agreed.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)01:18 No.16770952
    >>16770815
    You have a pretty horrific start- the second you start pumping power into the tyrant king body, Chieftain Aazz actually COLLAPSES, and his incorporeal form becomes so see-through that it's nigh-invisible.

    But...

    >>16770822
    >>16770823
    >>16770828
    >>16770829
    It evens out, despite the slight stumble. The problem is just that... even YOUR powers have an upper limit-

    You pause and quietly file that thought under "heresy."

    - the problem is that the tyrant king's skeleton is just TOO BIG because the elder woodfolk is a GODDAMN ASSHOLE. Yeah. That's it.

    No matter how much you strain (while keeping your current minions in existence), you can't get your lightning to course through the entire t-rex skeleton. Your entire vision goes sickly green, but it just doesn't take. After half an hour of this, you decide to just go with what you CAN do, and gently guide Bearbones along into his new home.

    ... five minutes later, Aazz manages to bring you back into consciousness, and you both turn to look up at the results of your work.

    It is the skull of a tyrannosaurus. Two t-rex legs are directly connected to the bottom of the skull. Two tiny t-rex arms are directly connected to the SIDES of the skull.

    It's... it's beautiful.

    Rexbones tosses its head back and roars, and Aazz lifts you up for a high-five. "Damn straight!" he manages, before he continues cracking up like a loon.

    >THREAD END: TO BE CONTINUED.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)01:20 No.16770977
    Congratulations. We have created Gurren.

    Anyway, I am NOT going to have the energy to start up a new thread- I have a feeling that it would go until SIX AM and I want to get work done before tomorrow's session...

    Which will, again, start at about 8 pm EST tomorrow.

    Thanks for following this quest, guys!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:20 No.16770978
    >>16770952

    Well it's not the same as having a whole gigantic T-Rex skeleton minion, but still went pretty well all things considered.

    High five Aazz and Rexbones with our tongue and let out a celebratory BLORP
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:21 No.16770983
    >>16770952
    YES!

    HELL YES!

    HELL FUCKING YES!

    Those limp dicked, pointy eared bastards aren't going to know what hit them.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:22 No.16770990
         File1319865728.gif-(192 KB, 315x194, 1317629915007.gif)
    192 KB
    >>16770977

    No, OP. Thank YOU for consistently delivering a fucking awesome quest for four nights in a row.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:23 No.16770996
    >>16770977
    It's amazing how you can just roll with even the zaniest shit we come up with.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:24 No.16771005
    rolled 40 = 40

    >>16770977

    Man, EVO quest should have like non-stop dedicated GM's. It's the only thing that's interesting on /tg/ lately.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:27 No.16771026
         File1319866031.gif-(1.26 MB, 320x179, 1303694075526.gif)
    1.26 MB
    rolled 10 = 10

    >>16770977
    >>16770952
    I love you so much right now OP.

    You've taken E.V.O, combined it with Dominions, thrown in some BLORP for good measure, and come out with this quest.

    It could not have turned out better.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:27 No.16771028
    rolled 4 = 4

    >>16771005

    >40

    Our GurrenLagaanasour just erupted in green flames. It is glorious.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:30 No.16771059
    rolled 40 = 40

    >>16771005
    >nat 40

    I guess EVO quest should get some more GMs.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 10/29/11(Sat)01:31 No.16771067
         File1319866316.jpg-(22 KB, 640x480, I was born to see this.jpg)
    22 KB
    rolled 9 = 9

    >>16770809
    Trying for a throw of the gods crit...
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:33 No.16771084
    rolled 11 = 11

    >>16771005
    >>16771059
    >two nat 40's

    Our T-Rex should sprout a whole new body made out of ecotoplasm.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:34 No.16771092
         File1319866489.gif-(176 KB, 350x195, 1303169748809.gif)
    176 KB
    >>16771059

    FORTIES

    NATURAL FORTIES FUCKING EVERYWHERE
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:36 No.16771104
    rolled 5 = 5

    >>16771084

    THIS, OP PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST ONE MORE UPDATE DETAILING HOW OUR NEW MINION HAS EVOLVED INTO A FUCKING BONE / GHOST DRAGON.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:37 No.16771107
    rolled 6 = 6

    >>16771059

    Original suggester here, by the power of 40's EVOquest should get some more GM's to continue this addictive quest.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)01:37 No.16771108
         File1319866639.png-(230 KB, 290x330, 1318443262837.png)
    230 KB
    >>16770990
    I'm glad you liked it! I'm still just- so surprised that you guys have taken a liking to it; this is the second quest I've ever done (the first one died ten posts in), and... the first time I DM'd anything, actually.

    I was expecting this to be a one-night stand, and now I'm seriously trying to figure out a long-term schedule that I balance everything out on.

    >>16770996
    I'm fairly certain that this quest would not have worked out so well if there WASN'T zany shit being suggested on a constant basis.

    >>16771005
    >>16771059
    JESUS FUCK YOU GUYS

    THREE THREADS LATER, WE WILL BE PUNCHING OUT GALAXIES WITH A DEATHSTAR MADE OUT OF BONES IF YOU KEEP THIS KIND OF ROLLING UP

    >>16771026
    Thanks- now what's Dominions?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:37 No.16771116
    rolled 32 = 32

    >>16771104
    Perhaps... Perhaps from bearbones believing in the salamander who believes in him?

    No. We ask too much of Blorpquest. It's... They're post-end-thread rolls...
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:38 No.16771131
         File1319866724.png-(357 KB, 500x333, 16.png)
    357 KB
    >>16771108
    >JESUS FUCK YOU GUYS
    >THREE THREADS LATER, WE WILL BE PUNCHING OUT GALAXIES WITH A DEATHSTAR MADE OUT OF BONES IF YOU KEEP THIS KIND OF ROLLING UP

    You say that like it's a BAD thing.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:39 No.16771133
         File1319866755.png-(665 KB, 843x922, 1312361580159.png)
    665 KB
    rolled 12 = 12

    >>16771005
    >>16771059

    SWEET BLORP. I have never seen so many crits and mini-crits in one damn thread.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:40 No.16771142
    rolled 13 = 13

    >>16771116

    Twin fourties have been rolled, the gods demand that EVOquest continue!

    >>16771108

    OP, your task is not yet over. Twin Forties have been rolled.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:42 No.16771153
    Guys quit demanding stuff of OP like this.

    Yeah, double crits is awesome, but we've already ended the thread and I'd rather just have the next one start off with something awesome than force him to do it all at once here. Chill out for 24 hours.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:42 No.16771158
         File1319866964.png-(99 KB, 800x800, 1289342676398.png)
    99 KB
    rolled 14 = 14

    >>16771005
    >>16771059
    >dem forties
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:43 No.16771164
    rolled 36 = 36

    >>16771108
    A game about pretender-Gods battling to be the overgod, while marshaling or stringing along empires to take out the other Gods.

    Those demiods also really liked absorbing magical crystals to increase their power.

    It's actually, frankly, a perfect fit.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:43 No.16771165
    rolled 38 = 38

    >>16771153

    Agreed. Only triple forties can revive a thread.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:44 No.16771169
    rolled 6 = 6

    >>16771165

    Or two crits and a mini-crit.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)01:44 No.16771172
    >>16771059
    >>16771005
    >40
    >40
    >EPILOGUE/BONUS:
    You look at Rexbones for a few minutes, ignoring the laughing Chieftain in the background.

    After a few moments of pondering, you command the Rexbones to kneel before you; ponderously, it does so.

    You go over to the remnants of the bear skeleton; upon releasing your hold, most of it crumbled to dust.The much-abused, much-loved bones are finally getting their rest. The bear skull, however, is still intact. After some maneuvering, you pop it on TOP of the Rexbone's t-rex skull. You're not sure why. It just felt right.

    It is now a bear skull on top of an armed T-rex skull on top of two thick legs... and your Rexbones, your Bearbones, your Bearex, unleashes a terrifying roar, sickly green fire burning in both sets of eye sockets and diffusing its body for a long, long moment.

    Who the hell do the woodfolk think you are?

    You have no idea, but you vow to give them nightmares for CENTURIES.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:47 No.16771197
    rolled 9 = 9

    >>16771172

    OP, you just earned yourself some drawfaggin'. Expect delivery next thread. Now go to sleep. You earned it.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:48 No.16771208
    rolled 6 = 6

    >>16771172

    Awesome, I hope it's not too much to presume that another 40 will give us another epilogue bonus?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:50 No.16771219
    rolled 26 = 26

    >>16771208

    No need to be greedy. We got a thread tomorrow.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:50 No.16771220
    rolled 32 = 32

    >>16771208

    You'd have to get a nat 40 first.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:51 No.16771225
    rolled 33 = 33

    >>16771208
    ... OP is never going to get to sleep at this rate, anon. LET HIM REST.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:52 No.16771233
    rolled 37 = 37

    >>16771225

    No! For the good of the navy we must continue the Quest For Evolution!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:54 No.16771247
    rolled 34 = 34

    >>16771233
    >mini-crit and dubs.

    Does that count?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:55 No.16771255
    rolled 38 = 38

    >>16771247

    No, only nat 40's.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:56 No.16771262
    rolled 40 = 40

    >>16771247

    Naw. That already happened like 5 times in this thread.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:56 No.16771265
         File1319867819.jpg-(33 KB, 305x350, 1318362527814.jpg)
    33 KB
    rolled 17 = 17

    >>16771233
    >>16771255

    mini-crits fucking everywhere!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)01:58 No.16771281
         File1319867933.png-(28 KB, 138x138, mad as hell bacon.png)
    28 KB
    rolled 14 = 14

    >>16771262

    >OP's face when

    Equip that bitch with a set of wings.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:00 No.16771288
    rolled 8 = 8

    >>16771281

    Or use biomancy to wrap super-hardened tree-bark around him to make him look like a walking tree in the shape of a T-Rex.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:00 No.16771292
         File1319868028.png-(12 KB, 427x410, you drive me to drink tg.png)
    12 KB
    rolled 30 = 30

    >>16771262
    GOD FUCKING DAMN IT. OP, YOU BEST ALREADY BE ASLEEP OR YOU'RE DOOMED.

    >And what have we learned from this story, class?
    >... Um...
    >Yes, Sally?
    >That neckbeards are ravenous bloodsucking beasts, never satisfied by even the most awesome of threads, and are always demanding more? Sorta like Mr. Blorp?
    >That's correct, Sally. And that's why you should never eat meatbread or browse /tg/, class!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:01 No.16771305
    rolled 26 = 26

    >>16771288

    >Biomancy

    OR, we could just, y'know, COVER him in a thick layer of TITANIUM WEBBING and THEN Use Biomancy to meld it into a suit of armor.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:02 No.16771308
         File1319868126.jpg-(17 KB, 504x414, 1308557445118.jpg)
    17 KB
    rolled 25 = 25

    >>16771292
    >mfw sally gets murdered by mr.blorp after class because I got a nat 40.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:02 No.16771311
    rolled 35 = 35

    >>16771262

    Here.

    In my defense, I was arguing to let the poor OP get some sleep. The dice gods are spiteful and fickle as always I see.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:06 No.16771340
    rolled 7 = 7

    >>16771311

    Regardless, the die have been cast and a 40 has been rolled.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:11 No.16771371
    rolled 7 = 7

    rawling.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:12 No.16771379
         File1319868768.jpg-(7 KB, 140x141, 1290477709074.jpg)
    7 KB
    rolled 28 = 28

    I call upon the natural 40's.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:14 No.16771387
    rolled 24 = 24

    >>16771379

    Okay, that was a little closer to 40. I should be getting 40's from now on.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)02:15 No.16771393
         File1319868950.gif-(1.15 MB, 320x240, 1307076291125.gif)
    1.15 MB
    >>16771262
    >40
    ... I finish getting ready for bed and I see this.

    WELP, ONE LAST TIME YOU GLORIOUS BASTARDS
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:16 No.16771400
    rolled 10 = 10

    >>16771393

    YES. YES. YES.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:17 No.16771408
    rolled 27 = 27

    >>16771393

    Hell yeah. If we keep the forties coming the OP will keep this thread rolling.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)02:19 No.16771425
    >>16771262
    >40
    >BONUS SIDESTORY... THING
    You are very sure of what you are. You are one of the proud woodfolk, and a leader of your small warband; tonight, you are tasked with patrolling between a certain two villages. Just another normal night.

    ... but then you found HIM, and 'normal' stopped having any sort of meaning whatsoever.

    The woodfolk survivor that you picked up sits in front of you, curled up with his arms around his knees, rocking back and forth and staring into nothing. You requested that the other warrior-scouts sit some distance away, to make him feel a little more comfortable, and you start questioning him gently.

    >... what happened.

    For a given value of 'gently.'

    For a moment, the survivor doesn't respond. And then he looks up, and you.. you give a start. These are the eyes of someone who's been through hell and back. "It's... it's gone. Our elder. Our village. G-Gone... the sunfang..."

    You frown, anger and disbelief overriding your attempts to be kind and understanding.

    >And you call yourself a member of the Woodfolk Tribe!? A bunch of slow cold-blooded savages took out your village, your village deserved death! ESPECIALLY for-

    "No! No, please!" The survivor pleads, shaking his head frantically. The sight disgusts you, but- "These... these were different! They had a... they had a god with them! A god... a tiny, adorable god, with... with a terrible, bony champion..."

    His eyes glaze over, and he starts shaking, his voice dropping to a mumble. "Right through his eye.. his eye! And the brain! From the air- h-he was barely- barely bigger than the elder's TOE, and- and-"
    (continued)
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:20 No.16771429
    rolled 21 = 21

    >>16771393
    NO OP, YOU CAN'T GIVE IN! THEY WILL BLEED YOU DRY!

    Jesus Christ, I was preparing to watch them to see how long they'd go... AND IT TURNS OUT SO WERE YOU. FFFFFFFFFF-
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)02:20 No.16771440
    >>16771425
    You slap the survivor across the face, sending him sprawling. You've had enough of his mewling.

    >Speak sense, dammit! There ARE no other gods!! That 'false god' that...

    Oh god. The survivor's eyes- those horrible eyes- are staring into yours again. An unstable, wavering grin crosses his face, and he starts laughing, tears running down his face.

    Chills run down your spine as you watch the survivor break in front of your very eyes, his sanity shattering irrevocably. A small, shameful part of you begin thinking. Whatever it was this damned soul faced, whatever horrible, unnatural eldritch being he came up against, you find yourself praying that you never have to face it, too.

    By far, though- and this is what will haunt your nightmares for the rest of your life- the worst part is when the survivor stats repeating one nonsensical word over and over and over and over...

    "Blorp! Blorp...! Blorp! B-BLORP!!"
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:21 No.16771441
    rolled 5 = 5

    >>16771429

    Don't fight the 40's. Submit to them and they will show you paradise.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:23 No.16771457
    rolled 29 = 29

    >>16771440
    ... What on Earth have we done.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:23 No.16771458
         File1319869431.jpg-(6 KB, 198x177, 1288824211017.jpg)
    6 KB
    rolled 39 = 39

    >>16771425
    >>16771440

    We're so awesome that just by being exposed to our dark glory lesser mortals minds are broken and destroyed.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)02:24 No.16771465
    >>16771440
    >>16771425
    >CONGRATULATIONS! You now have Fame, and are more widely known across parts of the land.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:29 No.16771497
    rolled 23 = 23

    >>16771465

    We need to now send sunfang envoys to other communities, telling them of the glories feats of the guardian of the earth, from the slaying of the wood folk to divine miracle of bringing down a meteorite and giving it to the sunfang. If they bow now to his might they too shall prosper in his radiance.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:31 No.16771507
    rolled 35 = 35

    >>16771497

    40 get.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:34 No.16771522
    rolled 3 = 3

    >>16771507

    35, close enough. Looks like you got a interesting night ahead of you, OP.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)02:38 No.16771543
    >>16771522
    NOPE

    RUNNING WHILE I STILL CAN

    GOOD NIGHT, YOU'VE BEEN A WONDERFUL AUDIENCE, AND SEE YOU TOMORROW
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:39 No.16771549
    rolled 21, 39, 3, 34, 36, 6, 26, 37, 24, 31, 11, 6, 16, 7, 14, 8, 29, 19, 6, 28, 13, 19, 29, 3, 16 = 481

    >>16771543

    I can't let you do that Starfox.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:39 No.16771550
    rolled 31 = 31

    >>16771543
    >>16771543

    FUUUUUUUUUU-

    Welp. I guess it's back to BF3 for me unless someone is awesome enough to make another epic quest thread along the same vein as this one.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:40 No.16771553
    rolled 5 = 5

    >>16771543

    GET BACK HERE! Natural 40 get!!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:41 No.16771565
         File1319870511.jpg-(108 KB, 300x309, 1291479002882.jpg)
    108 KB
    rolled 40 = 40

    >>16771553

    Take 2. I shall have those 40's to enslave you to this thread, OP!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:43 No.16771575
    rolled 28, 20, 2, 35, 25, 1, 27, 10, 3, 35, 23, 22, 27, 9, 29, 27, 12, 25, 33, 36, 10, 32, 9, 36, 4 = 520

    >>16771565

    >DAT 40

    CacklingEnslavers.jpg
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:43 No.16771577
    rolled 12 = 12

    Two forties are required to revive this thread.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:44 No.16771583
    rolled 39 = 39

    >>16771577

    Because the last 40 was called it counts as doubles.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:45 No.16771589
    rolled 26 = 26

    >>16771565

    Looks like you have a long night ahead of you, OP.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:48 No.16771604
    rolled 2 = 2

    >>16771565

    More criticals are required to bring back the OP.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:52 No.16771615
    rolled 31 = 31

    >>16771604

    nope.jpg
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)02:57 No.16771635
    rolled 18 = 18

    >>16771565

    I hope we get a bonus for these 40's, like an extra evolution or bonus for bearex.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)03:12 No.16771700
    rolled 8 = 8

    >>16771635

    I'm sure if we get enough 40's we will be rewarded in the next thread.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)03:17 No.16771721
    rolled 11 = 11

    >>16771700

    Then let's get some forties in this bitch.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)03:18 No.16771734
    rolled 40 = 40

    >>16771635
    >>16771700

    God damn people are still rolling? Threads over, wrap it up dudes.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)03:19 No.16771741
    rolled 12 = 12

    >>16771734
    >40

    It begind.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)03:24 No.16771759
    rolled 10 = 10

    >>16771734

    Hopefully these 40's will be archived, I'd rather like to get an awesome bonus next game.



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