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  • File : 1319887665.jpg-(105 KB, 873x627, m2002938a_99800110011_ClassicNecronLordC(...).jpg)
    105 KB Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)07:27 No.16772808  
    Was this really worth finescasting?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)07:28 No.16772810
    Lol that guy looks derp as hell. What's he called.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)07:29 No.16772811
    >>16772810
    assholetep
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)07:29 No.16772814
    >>16772811
    assholetep the insufferable
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)07:35 No.16772834
    >>16772808
    Oh god he is so pissed off.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)07:36 No.16772839
    >>16772811

    Impotenk the Spawnlord? With his Staff of Life?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)07:37 No.16772841
         File1319888223.jpg-(9 KB, 234x270, 1307626118774.jpg)
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    >>16772811
    >>16772814
    >>16772834

    I fucking love you /tg/
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)07:39 No.16772851
    the best part about him is because of his design, he can be a cryptek or lord
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)07:42 No.16772865
    >>16772851

    the best part about him is because of his design, he can be Lord of the Legos.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)07:44 No.16772871
    >>16772851
    >>16772865
    the best part about him is because of his design, he can be field a hundred times to make the most angriest of all armies, towering even over the angry marines.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)07:44 No.16772876
    >>16772865
    I lol'd
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)07:45 No.16772881
         File1319888727.jpg-(441 KB, 2000x2988, Tzeentch.jpg)
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    OP you are a genius, 10/10
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)07:47 No.16772891
    >>16772808

    This is now officially an Assholetep thread.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)07:48 No.16772905
    >>16772850

    Look at that face, it's like he's been trying to squeeze out a turd for the past million years.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)07:49 No.16772906
         File1319888953.jpg-(70 KB, 480x640, 0091.jpg)
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    >And i was like, awww shit nigguh you betta put that bitch down
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)07:51 No.16772916
    +++ They stopped worshipping me, so I stopped not killing them.+++
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)07:52 No.16772919
    >Assholehotep meets some Orkz.
    >They make fun of his hat.
    >All Orkz in the sector now have their asses sewn onto their heads.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)07:53 No.16772923
    Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I'm cleaning my necroteslagaussflayergun he comes in and is all "heh, still not as big as mine" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber. What an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)07:57 No.16772935
    For the love of god, someone archive this shit
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:03 No.16772961
    I think the little crossbone bolts are my favorite part.

    >>16772923

    The idea of a Necron winking broke my brain
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:04 No.16772973
         File1319889897.gif-(7 KB, 322x288, 1300450896060.gif)
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    >>16772961

    Theyre whiskers.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:05 No.16772974
    Assholetep is just angry because some other asshole stole his golden nose.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:06 No.16772986
         File1319890004.gif-(10 KB, 162x191, Necron_Lord_1.gif)
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    >I will harm you
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:07 No.16772991
    That looks like something from the mid 80s.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:09 No.16773001
    Imagine a fight between Assholetep and Commissar Fucklaw
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:11 No.16773021
         File1319890301.png-(121 KB, 233x226, surge face.png)
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    >>16772991

    Because it kinda is.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:11 No.16773023
    Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I'm unfolding my Tesseract Labyrinth he comes in and is all "Funny how you can get into a toy, but not into a Necrontyr babe's pants" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber. What an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:13 No.16773030
    It is from the 80's...
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:14 No.16773038
    >>16773001

    I picture it to be an insult slinging match that would rupture eardrums and snap titans with it's vehemence, ending with them formally shaking hands, as they recognise the other for a truly worthy opponent.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:15 No.16773041
    oh god I can't stop loling

    I'm sorry but especially compared to recent releases, that model looks ridiculous.

    the posts so far don't help
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:16 No.16773053
    Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I'm playing cards, he burns down several orphanages beats me savagely and forces me to watch an eternity of horrible rap music videos. What an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:17 No.16773056
    Isn't that the lord from second ed?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:18 No.16773063
    Trazyn the Infinite here;

    Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I'm recovering relics from a fallen Tomb World he comes in and is all "heh, last night I recovered your mom" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

    What an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:20 No.16773068
    >Assholetep meets Cryptek
    >Cryptek refuses to let him have a turn with his gadgets
    >Science is now outlawed in the Dynasty of Dikh-Ehd.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:20 No.16773071
         File1319890853.jpg-(13 KB, 355x475, necron raider 2.jpg)
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    >>16773056

    Yes.
    Pic related is one of his old minions.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:21 No.16773075
    Space Marine here,
    Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I'm purging the heretics and a battle brother dies and is all ''Hey dont worry, he can get back u- Oh wait'' and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber. What an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:21 No.16773078
    >>16773056
    Yeah. I think that it's from the era of White Dwarf mini codex for Necrons.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:25 No.16773089
    >>16773071
    It looks rather... DarkSpacerapist to me.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:25 No.16773090
    >>16772933

    >Assholetep is reading up on the history of humanity
    >Finds this
    >Tells his ship crew to start spinning it round in circles with the FTL engaged
    >Goes back in time
    >Finds >>16772933 leading a happy life, married with wife and kids
    >Destroys everything >>16772933 loves, pisses hydraulic fluid on the remains
    >Beats >>16772933 to death with a necrodermis horsecock, flips the bird to him one last time
    >Flies off

    And so, the seed for humanities hatred of all xenos was planted.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:25 No.16773093
    Orikan the Diviner here;

    Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime the Stars are Right he comes in and is all "heh, took a viagra huh?" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

    What an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:27 No.16773102
         File1319891251.jpg-(35 KB, 470x294, 1304296058382.jpg)
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    >>16773089
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:28 No.16773104
         File1319891296.jpg-(62 KB, 412x350, necron destroyer old.jpg)
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    >>16773089

    I can't hear you over how rapeface I am.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:29 No.16773113
    >>16772808

    Was he painted with crayons?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:29 No.16773115
         File1319891378.jpg-(538 KB, 1000x984, 1274639535027.jpg)
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    >>16773104
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:30 No.16773118
    >>16773104
    Glue two of those together and add Assholetep on a platform. Get his Command Barge.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:31 No.16773122
         File1319891461.jpg-(61 KB, 423x535, necron lord official paintjob.jpg)
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    >>16773113

    The paintjob is some 20 years old.
    They hadn't invented brushes back then.

    It's nice that they took him off the goblin green base, though. Much appreciate that touch of generousness.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:31 No.16773123
    Sanguinor exemplar of the host here;

    Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime im cleansing the xenos he comes in and is all ''You know what they say about men with big swords'' and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

    What an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:35 No.16773145
    Someone should field an army of just classic assholecrons.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:37 No.16773152
    >>16773144
    But the finecast has gold on his chest bit where oldcast has silver!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:37 No.16773155
    >>16773145
    I was gonna do it, but then Necron Warriors became 12pts per model and GW stopped selling old scarabs (today).
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:39 No.16773165
    Tau water caste ambassador here

    Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I try to tell him about joining the greater good, he pretends to be interested, wastes my time for an hour then says "The greater good? The greater shit more like" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

    What an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:40 No.16773169
    >>16773152

    Both are gold. The pic of the 'old' lord's taken by some ancient camera, so the colors seem all blurred.

    Look closely.

    Same exact figure.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:41 No.16773173
    >>16773169
    Oh. CURSE YOU COLORBLINDESS!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:41 No.16773175
    >>16773038

    So a rap battle?

    I wonder if we could get nicepeter's crew to do it...
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:42 No.16773178
    >>16772991
    >>16773021
    >>16773122

    I just got him in metal the other day (probably one of the last ones ordered in metal). The tab on thebottom said 1997.

    TL;DR late 90s dumbasses
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:44 No.16773187
    Dark Eldar Incubi here;

    Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I threaten to rape and maim him hes all ''Not if i rape you first, tinydick" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

    What an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:44 No.16773192
    >>16773178
    Maybe it was date of production, and not date of release of the design?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:46 No.16773200
         File1319892361.jpg-(115 KB, 435x435, 1307626103508.jpg)
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    >>16773178

    >I just got him in metal the other day
    >I just got him in metal

    >I just got him
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:46 No.16773201
    >>16773178

    Actually, if we must be anal, he existed in print and pictures from 1996 and onwards, as did the rest of the range. The number on the slot indicates the mould for the metal piece was made that year.

    GW loves using resin masters so much.

    Saying he's from the 80's is for the funny. We know he's not from the 80's.

    You can stop being an aspie now.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:46 No.16773202
         File1319892373.jpg-(22 KB, 149x162, assholetep hiss at penis.jpg)
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    >>16773192

    I have White Dorfs from 1997 with the "Necron Raider" stuff and the Battle Report for "FUCK YOU SANCTUARY 101".
    >> Assholetep 10/29/11(Sat)08:48 No.16773214
         File1319892527.jpg-(22 KB, 149x162, assholetep OH REALLY NOW.jpg)
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    >>16773201

    >You can stop being an aspie now.

    I will decide when to disengage aspie mode, weakling fleshbag, not you.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:49 No.16773215
    Fire Dragon Exarch here;

    Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I go to polish my Fire Pike he comes in and is all ''I'd let you polish my rod if ya know what I mean" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

    What an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:49 No.16773219
    >>16773214
    And then you wink and laugh all the way down the stasis chamber?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:50 No.16773220
         File1319892611.jpg-(39 KB, 266x300, necron immortal old.jpg)
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    >>16773214

    But, sir, it's in your best interest to not be aspie right now.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:50 No.16773221
         File1319892618.jpg-(370 KB, 582x858, classis.jpg)
    370 KB
    You guys know part of the reason he's so pissed off is because they misspelled his name on the blister pack, right?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:50 No.16773222
    NOTHIONG is worth being made in Citadel Miscast. They should use metal, like every good miniatures company.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:50 No.16773223
    >>16773219
    What an asshole
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:51 No.16773228
         File1319892704.jpg-(26 KB, 400x342, necron destroyers ancient.jpg)
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    >>16773221

    Only an asshole would do that to themselves.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:52 No.16773235
    Chapter Master Gabriel Seth here;

    Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime Im tearing a new one on some xenos he comes in and is all ''At least my Lords not a cripple" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

    What an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:54 No.16773239
    What's Assholeteps Dynasty anyway? Is he a Lord, Overlord or Phaeron?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:56 No.16773248
         File1319892990.jpg-(287 KB, 643x548, Assholetep commands.jpg)
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    >>16773219

    Stasis? After 64 million years I have awakened, it is time to rule once more. Prepare to get a gauss wedgie, fleshling.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:56 No.16773250
         File1319893003.jpg-(29 KB, 482x375, necron raider.jpg)
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    >>16773239

    Neither.
    He's an Asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:57 No.16773254
    >>16773250
    I saw this coming a mile away.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:57 No.16773256
    Brother Captain Indrick Boreale here,

    Assholetep is such an asshole. Every time I'm dropping some Steel Rain he comes in and is all "Brother Captain Tay Zonday did it better," and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)08:59 No.16773267
    How many assholes we got in this thread anyway?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:00 No.16773276
         File1319893248.jpg-(100 KB, 873x627, draigo helmet.jpg)
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    Draigo here.

    Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I'm leaving the warp, he comes up behind me and says 'you know what they say about burly men who dedicate all their deeds and greatest triumphs to other burly men,' and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

    What an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:02 No.16773282
    >>16773267

    Enough to make a Dark Eldar Archon cry.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:02 No.16773286
         File1319893372.jpg-(50 KB, 245x315, Chaplain Assholius.jpg)
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    >>16772986

    >If we are harmed today, we will suffer a hero's harm. But we shall not be harmed. No, it is the enemy who will be harmed! For we are the SPESS MEHREENZ! THE EMPREH'S FUREH!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:04 No.16773293
         File1319893481.gif-(15 KB, 500x500, 1318945942305.gif)
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    >>16773286
    SPESS MEHREENS! TODAY, THE CUSTOMERS ARE AT OUR DOORS! WE KNOW OUR BURGERS, AND WE WILL COOK THEM! WE FRY FOR OUR HONAH AS BLUD REVENS, AS SPESS MEHREENS, AND WE FRY IN THE NAME OF THE EMPRAH!

    IF WE FEHL AN ORDAH, WE WILL MAKE IT AGAIN AND GIVE A DISCOUNT! BUT WE WILL NOT FEHL, NO, IT IS THE CUSTOMER WHO WILL TASTE OUR DELICIOUS EMPRAH BURGAHS.

    AS YOU KNOW, MOST OF OUR BATTLE BURGERS ARE STORED IN SPESS, PREPARED TO DEEP FRY! OUR LARDERS HAVE BEEN PREPARED SHOULD THE CUSTOMERS BE SO BOLD AND FOOLISH TO COME BACK FOR SECONDS! WE HAVE PLACED MULTIPLE FRYCOOKS ALLOWING FOR MULTIPLE, SIMMULTANEUS DEVAHSTATING DEEP FRIES.

    THE CODEX CLOGGEDARTERIES NEMES THIS MANUVAH HEART PAIN! WE WILL DESCEND UPON THE BURGAHS, AND OVERWHELM THEM, LEAVE NONE UNFRIED! MEANWHILE, OUR CASHIERS WILL ENSURE THE DEFENSE OF OUR HEADQUARTERS!

    WE ARE THE SPESS MEHREENS! WE ARE THE EMPRAH'S FRYCOOKS!

    have some glorious copy pasta.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:05 No.16773296
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    >>16773282

    I'M NOT CRYING. IT IS THE ONE WHOSE FACE I WEAR AS A TROPHY WHO WAS CRYING AS I STOOD TRIUMPHANT OVER HIM, PROMISING NOT TO KILL HIM IF HE LET ME TEABAG HIM.

    I TEABAGGED HIM, THEN KILLED HIM ANYWAY. HAHAHAHAHA.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:06 No.16773300
    http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/catalog/productDetail.jsp?catId=cat700002a&prodId=prod1380050a

    just in case you didn't realize this was real
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:07 No.16773310
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    >>16773296

    You fucker.
    Get back in your cage, 'fore I pimpslap you with my zombie hands!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:08 No.16773311
    Cato Sicarius here;

    Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I'm cleaning my many medals and awards, he comes up to me and says "You forgot your medal for Pederasty," and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

    What an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:09 No.16773316
    >>16773235
    Assholetep crippled his own lord.

    Sharding the C'tans was his idea originally.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:11 No.16773326
    It must feel amazing to be the guy who made the post which lead to the creation of Assholetep
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:12 No.16773331
    >>16773326

    I'm not that guy, but reading this thread and contributing assholetep lines has got tears in my eyes.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:12 No.16773337
    Assholetep cares not from where the blood flows, only that it is funny when it does.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:12 No.16773338
    >>16773311
    Why, because you always forget your medal for Pederasty?
    Must be annoying.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:13 No.16773339
    >>16773331
    It's always fun to watch a new meme be born. Reminds me of the dark tower.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:15 No.16773346
    >>16773339
    I'm a newfag and I don't get this.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:16 No.16773351
    Gregor Eisenhorn here;

    Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I'm binding Cherubael again, he comes up to me and says "You know when a guy binds another guy" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

    What an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:17 No.16773357
    Space Wolf Long Fang here;

    Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I'm combing my beard, he comes up and is all "Must be hard to get cum out of a white beard huh?" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

    What an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:18 No.16773358
         File1319894300.jpg-(19 KB, 149x163, assholetep asshole smile.jpg)
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    >Assholetep's face when this thread is making me lol so hard I'm probably going to make Assholetep my Overlord and have my Necron Dynasty be a bunch of high school bullies and frat boys, dedicated to giving the entire galaxy a wedgie. And slapping the Emperor's ass with a wet towel.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:18 No.16773360
    Assholetep's stasis chamber is a teleporter room that can temporarily transport him to anywhere in the galaxy long enough to make an annoying comment.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:19 No.16773368
    >>16773358
    funny thing, my overlord is a police cop who uses a fuckload of praetorians and tries to bring proper law and order to the galaxy. Expect conflict.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:20 No.16773373
    >>16773368

    Do they have badges that shoot lasers?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:21 No.16773380
    Dark Angels Veteran here;

    Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I'm putting on my robes, he comes up and is all "Did they repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell yet?" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

    What an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:21 No.16773384
    >>16772961

    >The idea of a Necron winking broke my brain

    And then Assholetep winked and laughed his way down into the stasis chamber.

    What an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:22 No.16773386
    Please tell me the initial Assholetep thread was archived, where this all began when someone stated he wanted to make his Necron Lord have the personality of being immature and spiteful.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:22 No.16773387
    >>16773373
    What do you think their shields are shaped like?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:23 No.16773390
         File1319894607.jpg-(19 KB, 149x163, assholetep laughs and winks.jpg)
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    >>16773384 here

    Assholetep is such an asshole. He tricked CAPTCHA into fucking with me so the image didn't post, and then laughed and winked his way to the stasis chamber.

    What an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:23 No.16773391
    >>16773368
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgiomDEzyl0
    This song came pretty much immediately to mind.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:23 No.16773392
    >this thread

    But robots cant wink
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:24 No.16773396
    http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Assholetep

    Go and put stuff in it.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:25 No.16773404
    >>16773386

    here's what searching sup/tg/ got me when searching for "assholetep":

    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16687872/
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16719803/
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16769634/
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16649661/
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:25 No.16773406
    >>16773368
    Well, my overlord is an ex-techpriest from Mars, who illegally experimented with necrodermis and this combined with a failed assassination by the Inquisition made him into a half-necron mutant thing. Then when he was escaping the Imperium he found a sleeping tomb world, where all of the Necron's AIs have been deleted by an accident. With his necron lord powers granted to him by the necrodermis he programmed these necrons into his personal army, and now he works with various anti-imperium forces to build up his strength and get his revenge on the inquisition.
    But that's neither here, nor there.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:26 No.16773410
    >>16773392
    See >>16773390
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:26 No.16773411
    Hey, Blood Angels veteran here. So I was getting ready for a drop in my chambers, I turned around to see Assholetep. He just stared for a few minutes, then said, and I quote: "Your primarch is dead, lololol, you are a faggot." And then he simply walked out.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:26 No.16773412
    >>16773404

    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16649661/#16650231

    this may be the genesis of Assholetep:


    I am so doing an army who's theme is that their Overlord acts like a ten year old with a temper tantrum.

    >Wake up
    >Orks looted his favorite Staff of Light
    >Teleport entire Tombworld's forces to fight massive Waaagh three sectors over
    >IG happen to be fighting the Orks
    >Help them
    >At victory party
    >Planetary-Governor doesn't compliment his new cloak
    >Entire sub-sector devoid of all life the next week
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:28 No.16773419
    >>16773404
    Last link is the right one. Thank you very much.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:28 No.16773420
    So, Assholetep is officially a 2e Lord now?

    >INB4 "NO, HE'S AN ASSHOLE!" even though I'd lol
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:29 No.16773430
         File1319894947.jpg-(38 KB, 418x455, whyclock.jpg)
    38 KB
    >>16773406
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:29 No.16773431
    >>16773420
    No, he's a dick.
    >> Assholetep 10/29/11(Sat)09:29 No.16773432
         File1319894952.jpg-(18 KB, 149x163, assholetep asshole smile.jpg)
    18 KB
    >>16773411

    >So I was getting ready for a drop in my chambers

    "A drop in my chambers" is Blood Angels battle-cant for taking a shit, eh?

    Hehehe.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:30 No.16773438
    >>16773406
    Huh. I like it! Godspeed, anon.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:30 No.16773442
    >>16773432

    You are indeed correct. Go away, Assholetep, you've done enough damage. Do not mock my customs.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:32 No.16773454
         File1319895173.jpg-(914 KB, 1340x2300, gzn braid.jpg)
    914 KB
    this is my Overlord. No, just kidding, it'll either be my Tomb Spyder or my Kryptek.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:34 No.16773462
    Inquisitor Lord Coteaz here;

    Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I'm issuing orders to the Jokaero, he comes up and is all "ya know, Bananas are extinct hehe" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

    What an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:35 No.16773468
    >>16773454
    Try modelling it without sculpting some ugly animu shit out of greenstuff.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:37 No.16773474
         File1319895435.jpg-(41 KB, 234x252, assholetep.jpg)
    41 KB
    >>16773454

    >Xeno
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:37 No.16773475
         File1319895437.jpg-(104 KB, 800x800, 1285279877.jpg)
    104 KB
    >>16773454
    Yeah, Xeno could probably be a Cryptek.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:38 No.16773486
    >>16773462
    Then just tell him you had them genetically engineered.
    And wink and laugh all the way to the purging chamber.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:39 No.16773492
         File1319895578.jpg-(37 KB, 873x627, Ugly Wenches.jpg)
    37 KB
    Too bad the old Dark Elfdar slaves are so shitty. I want my Overlord to be a supreme pimp. Namely by having Xeno and Lolicron lounging around his Catacomb Command Barge. Or perhaps hugging his legs like bitches on a Conan the Barbarian cover.
    >> Avatar of Assholetep 10/29/11(Sat)09:42 No.16773504
    >>16772923

    Here, hours later.

    My god what Have I done.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:42 No.16773507
    >>16773468
    ooooh but I will.

    >>16773475
    Mh, dunno, I was trying to reflect the fact that she can poop scarabs. we'll see once the rules are leaked

    >>16773474
    Xeno is worth Assholetep.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:43 No.16773515
    >>16773492
    you better sculpt em well, Darius.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:44 No.16773519
    >>16773504

    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16772808/

    may your work be immortalized.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:44 No.16773520
         File1319895868.png-(39 KB, 149x163, assholetep.png)
    39 KB
    >>16773492
    Yeah, yeah, we got the point in the LAST cron thread you posted that in, and derailed the whole thread on how god-awful and blatantly tranny the slaves look.

    It's okay, we're paying attention to you, honest.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:45 No.16773522
         File1319895909.jpg-(123 KB, 432x288, black-dynamite.jpg)
    123 KB
    >>16773492
    Conan? Don't you mean Black Dynamite
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:45 No.16773523
    I wonder if Games Workshop will be sold out of Assholetep by now. Though the original Assholetep had an angrier looking face when in metal. Now he just looks like a derpy kind of douchey.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:46 No.16773527
         File1319896004.jpg-(40 KB, 736x411, sheilds.jpg)
    40 KB
    I only got into the hobby 6 months ago, but...
    JESUS CHRIST CAN'T THEY MAKE A SINGLE THING WITHOUT SPELLING MISTAKES?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:47 No.16773529
         File1319896055.jpg-(116 KB, 548x584, 607341.jpg)
    116 KB
    Assholetep is an obvious dick to his bitches.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:49 No.16773537
    >>16773523
    hey

    guys

    hey

    HEY!

    HEY GUYS!

    take that thing called greenstuff

    right?

    okay

    then, take that thing called a modelling tool, or even a fucking toothpick

    got it?

    okay, now's the tough part:

    put some greenstuff over his face, and re-fucking-sculpt it the way you want.

    ...

    OH WOW!
    Sorry.
    Sometimes I'm just amazed by how much of a fucking genius I am, thinking stuff nobody else thinks.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:51 No.16773542
    >>16773527
    you should see the French translations, bro. It makes me want to adopt British/Murrkan citizenship.
    >> Assholetep 10/29/11(Sat)09:52 No.16773545
    >>16773406

    And yet he still can't get laid.

    >winks and laughs his way down the stasis chamber.
    >> Deathleaper's Fangirl !!YD/t8+iuFvd 10/29/11(Sat)09:52 No.16773546
    >>16773537
    >re-fucking-sculpt

    Not everyone is good enough to resculpt anything well. It's a fine option for those with a bit of skill with green stuff; not for those without.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:52 No.16773547
         File1319896350.jpg-(100 KB, 700x530, HMPH.jpg)
    100 KB
    >>16773527
    0/10

    Learn to Old English.
    Lych Means Corpse.
    D&D/Warcraft spelled it wrong.

    Scratch that, 3/10, slightly miffed and I bothered to reply to this shit. Again.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:52 No.16773549
    All these posts are giving me a mental image of a Assholetep just appearing out of nowhere, saying something asshole-ish to someone, and them being left sitting in silent frustration as he walks away, unable to retaliate because if they do he just teleports away leaving an echoing "u mad bro".

    It's gotten to the point where people just let him be an asshole because doing anything else is futile.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:53 No.16773556
    >>16773542
    Spanish ones are the best.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:54 No.16773565
    >>16773547
    >Sheild

    are you going to tell me this is Oldde Englyche?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:54 No.16773568
    >>16773547
    > sheild
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:54 No.16773569
    >>16773475
    I don't know what the heck this is...but I will look forward to painting my necrons in the colors of the Greater Good!

    These free necrons will see the benevolence and superiority of the Greater Good and will gladly submit themselves to the wisdom of T'au.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:54 No.16773571
    Wait I thought Necrons were pretty recent?

    When did they first show up in 40k?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:54 No.16773574
    >>16773547
    >Lychguards with hyperphase swords and dispersion sheilds
    >dispersion sheilds
    >sheilds
    >SHEILDS
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:56 No.16773581
         File1319896572.jpg-(8 KB, 250x250, 1283600283001.jpg)
    8 KB
    >>16773537
    Thank you for writing that post when all I meant is that I prefer one to the other for representing Assholetep, and wasn't shedding tears over it, and ultimately find both endearingly lame looking. It didn't make you appear to be overreacting in any fashion, no.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:56 No.16773582
    >>16773571

    2nd edition, with a few bits from earlier on being retconned as foreshadowing them. They didn't get a full size list until 3rd though.
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 10/29/11(Sat)09:56 No.16773583
    >>16773184
    THE CRYPTEK DOES NOT SUPPORT THIS ACTION
    >>16773358
    THE CRYPTEK SUPPORTS THIS ACTION
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:56 No.16773584
    >>16773569
    Heh, Xeno doesn't follow the Greater Good. When she isn't being a mopey emo little taucron, she just does stuff for FUN and ADVENTURE.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:56 No.16773587
    >>16773300
    >For smaller games, you'll want to use them in the latter role, giving your mainstay units a little extra punch.

    Fucking Tomb Kings in SPAAAAAACE.

    WWAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRDDDDD!

    Actually, I really like this idea. I'm a bad person for it I'm sure.
    >> Assholetep 10/29/11(Sat)09:56 No.16773589
    >>16773571

    Since you stopped being a faggot. Oh wait.

    >Winks and laughs his way down the stasis chamber.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:56 No.16773593
    >>16773565
    Possibly, though unlikely.

    Didn't spot that one, most people wouldn't due to the way we process words based largely on the first and last letters rather than the sequence in the middle.

    Still, GW has had some pretty awful editing over the years.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:56 No.16773595
    >>16773569

    "Freedom, eh? Does that mean I'm free to do THIS?"

    >Reaches down and knocks off Fire Warrior's helmet, winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

    What an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:58 No.16773601
    >>16773574
    http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/catalog/productDetail.jsp?catId=cat700003a&prodId=prod1380038a

    The video was made by some orphan they snatched from the streets. Their product entry says "shields".
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:58 No.16773607
    >>16773581
    okay, it's just that it bugs me to see lazy, unimaginative people complaining all the fucking time about the sculpts, so I'm starting to see them everywhere.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)09:59 No.16773612
    >>16773595
    I am literally shaking with laughter
    >> Assholetep 10/29/11(Sat)10:00 No.16773618
    >>16773610

    I'm glad you can find a place to express your love for greasy, overweight men.

    >Winks and laughs his way down the stasis chamber.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)10:03 No.16773639
         File1319896993.jpg-(285 KB, 1200x1821, DL-Laugh.jpg)
    285 KB
    >>16773618
    But! I... DAMMIT
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)10:05 No.16773654
         File1319897115.gif-(1017 KB, 200x200, reaction.gif)
    1017 KB
    >>16773639

    Classic Assholetep.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)10:07 No.16773668
    Assholetep strikes me as the type who would freeze his victims in stasis at the moment of their realisation of what he's said/done.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)10:07 No.16773672
         File1319897268.png-(11 KB, 100x100, 1302606620222.png)
    11 KB
    I just imagined how Assholetep winks.

    His eye acts like a photo camera. A shutter comes down and then up, with that "chk" sound.

    I can´t contemplate his eye going the whole "chk-rrrr" sound because that would be too creepy.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)10:09 No.16773683
    Well this is profoundly unamusing.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)10:09 No.16773687
    >>16773672
    Perhaps some manner of gauss-eye-twinkle?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)10:09 No.16773688
    >>16773672
    >>16773668
    And there we have it. Assholetep's 'wink' is actually him taking a photograph of your expression at the moment of anal-agony.
    >> Assholetep 10/29/11(Sat)10:10 No.16773690
    >>16773683

    Much like your performance in bed.

    >Winks and laughs down the stasis chamber.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)10:10 No.16773693
    >>16773672

    That is brilliant.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)10:12 No.16773705
    >>16773672

    >Assholetep in a bar on a hive world, ogling some Imperial hoes.
    >"Take a pictogram, it'll last longer!"

    CHK-RRRRRR
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)10:14 No.16773720
    >>16773688
    What an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)10:15 No.16773728
         File1319897739.jpg-(154 KB, 316x410, enhanced-buzz-1079-1294178032-(...).jpg)
    154 KB
    Assholetep action figure.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)10:15 No.16773730
    >>16773705
    Oh my fuck that is golden.

    This whole thread is golden. Assholetep is now my spiritual liege.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)10:15 No.16773732
         File1319897751.jpg-(357 KB, 1086x1274, necron old warrior rules.jpg)
    357 KB
    >>16773571

    1994.
    First models shown in 1995-1996.
    Available for purchase in 1997, with some get-you-by white dwarf rules.

    Pic related.

    Note: this was 2nd edition. Things are very different now.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)10:27 No.16773812
         File1319898426.jpg-(86 KB, 480x480, cool story bro.jpg)
    86 KB
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html

    Shit's archived, go and vote it up!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)10:29 No.16773835
         File1319898590.jpg-(20 KB, 400x299, 1264977081010_71933625.jpg)
    20 KB
    >>16773688
    >>16773693
    >>16773705
    >>16773720

    Hell, not only does he take a photo of your anal paining. He prints it. It comes out from under his smile. One copy for you, the other goes to his Ancestral Archive.

    He has a huuuuuuge Archive.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)10:32 No.16773851
         File1319898735.jpg-(31 KB, 400x300, 1318156737323.jpg)
    31 KB
    I leave for about an hour and this thread bloomed into epicness.

    And thank god its finally archived.
    >> Assholetep 10/29/11(Sat)10:32 No.16773855
    >>16773835

    Not the only huge thing I have.

    >Winks and laughs down the stasis chamber.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)10:35 No.16773874
         File1319898911.jpg-(40 KB, 187x186, 1302396719839.jpg)
    40 KB
    >>16773855

    FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

    >CHK-RRRRRRR
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)10:41 No.16773919
    Well, someone needs some writefaggotry on Assholetep now.
    >> Assholetep 10/29/11(Sat)10:42 No.16773937
    >>16773919

    You guys are always dreaming up some kind of faggotry to try to force someone into.

    >Winks and laughs down the stasis chamber.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)10:43 No.16773940
    >>16773919
    We need a meme
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)10:49 No.16773979
    >>16773527
    >>16773574
    >>16773601

    Britfags cannot into English.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uozIWK51x58
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FY_YRatOInA
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)10:49 No.16773983
    >>16773937
    Man Assholetep, is there any situation where you can't come up with a fitting insult?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)10:53 No.16774009
         File1319899981.jpg-(37 KB, 407x405, Assholetep Exploitable.jpg)
    37 KB
    >>16773940

    Assholetep is already a meme, dumbass.

    >Winks and laughs on the way to the stasis chamber
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)10:54 No.16774016
    >>16774009
    CHK-RRRRR
    >> Assholetep 10/29/11(Sat)10:56 No.16774033
    >>16773983

    Insults? Fitting? Always. My dick in any given hole? Rarely.

    >Laughs and walks down the stasis chamber.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)10:59 No.16774055
         File1319900381.jpg-(84 KB, 814x405, alternate assholeteps.jpg)
    84 KB
    Or is green/black and green too 3e Necrons for Assholetep?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)11:02 No.16774076
    >>16774033

    Assholetep sounds a lot like the world's most interesting man...
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)11:06 No.16774095
    >>16773979
    The Heroquest narrator is Christopher Lee.
    >> Assholetep 10/29/11(Sat)11:09 No.16774122
         File1319900986.jpg-(256 KB, 867x548, Assholetep and bitches.jpg)
    256 KB
    >>16773520

    I'm sorry, I was too busy getting my cock sucked at a Deadmau5 concert to know somebody had the same idea. But it's good that you're on /tg/ 24/7 to call samefag. It will keep you from realizing how empty your life is and committing suicide.

    >Winks and laughs and on the way to the stasis chamber.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)11:09 No.16774123
    One of my friends had this douche and a couple of original necron warriors floating about his bitz box, gave them to me, kinda tempted to see if ive still go them..
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)11:30 No.16774303
    >>16773732
    That Issue of WD also had a free Necron if I recall..or the one after that since the rules were scattered through 2 issues IIRC. It was the one which introduced 5ed Chaos rules-box (oh glorious days of boxed-release book, cards, templates and stuff for chaos, none of this bullshit separate army books bullshit!). Also, I'm still pissed I missed the Aenur WD...I wish they still attached metal models to the rag.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)11:38 No.16774357
         File1319902696.png-(58 KB, 486x324, 1223544735521.png)
    58 KB
    >>16774122
    Thank the Emperor for Assholetep, he takes all the ugly bitches for himself and leaves the rest alone.

    What a selfless bro.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)11:43 No.16774394
    >>16774357

    I know right? Geeze, what an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)11:43 No.16774396
    >>16774123
    Cast them.

    Cast the fuck out of them.

    Make free army of classic crons for nearly free.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)11:47 No.16774423
         File1319903242.jpg-(830 KB, 1292x1080, assholecrons.jpg)
    830 KB
    >>16774123
    >>16774396

    There were only two or three poses, right? I can't tell if the ones who aren't holding their gun in the air are actually different poses or if it's just a matter of the heads being separate parts which could be positioned.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)11:57 No.16774490
    >>16774357
    >>16774394

    A real man takes two ugly bitches at once while you struggle to impress just one. I raise my glass to you, Assholetep.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)11:57 No.16774492
    >>16774423

    They are single piece models.

    I think there were only 2 poses but maybe the turned head was a separate pose rather than the head just being turned by force.

    I'm not at all surprised with the changes made to necrons but I did love them when they first appeared and had far less interest in their newer versions.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)11:59 No.16774507
         File1319903973.png-(483 KB, 873x627, am i fifth edition uguu.png)
    483 KB
    Assholetep just had a makeover!

    All of the GW design studio staff had to be called in for this daunting task, and in the end, even Mat Ward was summoned from the tenth circle of Double Hell.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)12:03 No.16774540
         File1319904231.jpg-(275 KB, 560x700, General_Grievous_by_zgul_osr11(...).jpg)
    275 KB
    >>16774507
    MFW
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)12:08 No.16774572
    >>16774357

    So I took your mom and your girlfriend then?

    >Laughs and walks down the stasis chamber.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)12:08 No.16774573
    Brother-Captain Israyal Behradiam stood atop a mountain of destroyed Necron warriors, surveying the battlefield with a weary, sad eye. Across the plains, Imperail Guard, Space marine and Necron bodies carpeted the ground and burnt out husks of Leman Russ Battle Tanks and Chimeras blazed merrily in the fog of the dawn. He was alone now, for his after-battle prayers. But in the devastation, Guardsmen and Apothercaries moved throughout the corpse-strewn wasteland tending to their wounded and ensuring that the defeated Necrons were good and dead. It had been a costly battle but, thankfully, and with the Emperor’s grace, the Necrons had been defeated.
    “My Emperor,” Behradiam murmured into the mist began, reciting the litany of victory, “I thank you this hour for the protection you have granted me in the battle past. I thank you for the victory you have delivered me and my brothers. I thank you for the strength you provided me, with which I have smited your foes.
    “My Emperor, I would ask you to grant peace and safety on this world. It has seen enough horror for its time. I would ask you protect it and be its guardian and light in the darkness, watch over it and deliver it from evil.”
    Behradiam fell silent, lips pressed in a thin line, still and unmoving, as he watched the silhouettes of a Guardsmen pick their way through the broken human wreckage on the ground. One Guardsman kneeled beside a body and removed something from his flak jacket and laid it on the corpse.

    >cont
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)12:09 No.16774588
         File1319904577.jpg-(136 KB, 662x586, how do i centered gravity.jpg)
    136 KB
    Necron Overlord here. Assholetep is such an asshole. I woke up after 64 million years of slumber, and was about to take a spin in my Catacomb Command Barge, when I found out that Assholetep had modified it so that the flying base is going to break like every goddamn day.

    What an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)12:09 No.16774589
    >>16774573
    Such waste of life, Behradiam thought. It always pained him to see the aftermath of a battle. Five hundred years of service and still he would look in the mirror after a major battle and see two or three more scars – two or three more lucky escapes – and think of those not so fortunate. Even now he could remember a Guardsman – no, a child, pressed into service to defend his home, only fifteen – screaming and crying as a Necron draped in flesh tore him apart. He knew that child’s face would join millions of others that visited him every night before his rest. Those he couldn’t save. The nameless ghosts that haunted him. He knew that when he returned to the Fortress Monastery the first thing he would do would be to have a shower – scalding hot – where his tears would be indistinguishable from the water and his despair inaudible over the hiss of steam.
    “I would ask your forgiveness,”Behradiam said, forcing the words past the lump in his throat, “my Emperor, for the lives I have lost. I am not a perfect man, my Emperor, and though I try my hardest, still it is not enough.”

    >cont
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)12:10 No.16774594
    >>16774589
    A single tear ran down his face, followed by another. He always chose to be alone after a battle – it did not befit a Brother-Captain to weep.
    “I try so hard, my Emperor. I do this for you, my Emperor. I sent these men to their deaths for you, my Emperor. I killed them for you. I ask you forgiveness. Please. This sin weighs heavily upon me, my Emperor. Just…”
    Behradiam choked down a sob.
    “Just tell me I am doing a good job.”
    There was a crack and a flash and, through eyes blurred with salt water, Behradiam saw the image of a Necron Lord appear in front of him. Before he could even grab for his bolter, though, the Lord had already struck. The Lord plucked the bolter from his hands and drove his staff deep into Behradiam’s gut. Behradiam was in agony. He had known that the Necron Lord could teleport – hell, the Necron lord had escaped because of that very ability. Why had he been so stupid as to go off alone? Why? Now he was going to pay the price. Any moment now, the killing blow would come. Behradiam would face his death with honour, though. He set his features – all emotions other than steely determination forgotten now.
    Any moment now the killing blow would come.
    To his surprise, it did not.

    >cont
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)12:10 No.16774600
    >>16774594
    “You,” the Lord spoke, “are a colossal waste of space.”
    The Lord twisted its staff, sending more waves of pain through Behradiam’s body. Behradiam cursed himself for his weakness – for his foolishness.
    The Lord’s face didn’t move, but with his dimming consciousness Behradiam swore it seemed to exude more of a… genial, joyous air than it did a few moments ago. The Lord was revelling in this execution.
    “You know, if I were your Emperor, I wouldn’t forgive you. You’re a hopeless commander, Brother Captain.”
    “I still,” Behradiam gargled out past the blood in his mouth, “managed to defeat you, Xeno.”
    “With a casualty rate thirty per cent higher than what I predicted you would incur, and I even factored in natural human stupidity into that. Absolutely pathetic effort, Brother Captain.”
    The Lord wrenched his staff again, the pain bringing Behradiam back to consciousness as his mind began to slip.
    “I heard what you said before, Brother Captain. You seem like a man who feels very guilty for his own failings. You should. You’re inability to lead and your stupid decisions got your fellow fleshsacks killed. I put more effort into keeping my soldiers alive than you do, Brother Captain, and my soldiers are mindless machines.”
    For some perverse reason, Behradiam felt the need to defend himself against this Lord’s verbal onslaught. “I did – cough – my best.”
    “Not good enough, fleshling. Not good enough at all.”
    “Good – cough – enough to – cough – defeat you.”

    >cont
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)12:11 No.16774605
    >>16774600
    The Lord did not reply. Instead a rod appeared in the hand not holding his staff that crackled with fierce green energy. The Lord hefted the rod and pressed it into Behradiam’s forehead.
    Searing agony spread throughout Behradiam’s body – the like of which he had never felt before. Not even his short stint in a Dark Eldar ship’s brig had compared to this. Oh, Emperor, the pain! Still, Behradiam did not break. Even as it coursed throughout his body like lava, Behradiam did not cry out. He would endure. He would die with honour and dignity and a pile of other words, like a space marine was supposed to.
    Behradiam’s mind began to spiral towards blackness. Death and pain were closing in. He could feel the end, the cold. It scared him like nothing before. Behradiam had been afraid – of Tyranids, of Chaos, of the Inquisition – but never like this. The idea of meeting his end filled him with abject terror. He knew the Emperor would not accept him – his failures had been to grievous. The pain and the fear were overwhelming.
    Behradiam screamed. He screamed and screamed and the tears poured down his face and blood dribbled from his mouth. His voice carried the note of desperation.

    >cont
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)12:12 No.16774614
    “Emperor please, stop! STOP! STOP THE PAIN. I’LL DO ANYTHING, PLEASE. I’M BEGGING YOU. I BEG OF YOU. EMPEROR PLEASE, WHY DO YOU ABANDON ME? I DID MY BEST! PLEASE! PLEASE!”
    The screams faded and his mind began to blank and all he heard in his final moment of life was a soft “chk-rrrr” and a Necron Lord laughing.
    The blackness descended and the pain faded and Behradiam was no more.
    The Necron Lord withdrew his staff from the dead space marine and tried to shake off the blood.
    The Lord accessed the Imperial communications grid and began to broadcast the video, forwarding the file to everybody he had listed down as one of the Brother Captain’s friends with a small message attached:
    “He died like a little bitch. Pathetic.”
    He even sent a copy to the Brother Captain’s family.

    >fin
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)12:15 No.16774642
    >>16774423
    MFW: i still have that exact box of oldcrons. minus the box, of course.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)12:21 No.16774695
         File1319905289.jpg-(41 KB, 139x140, 1298604614447.jpg)
    41 KB
    >>16774614
    >“He died like a little bitch. Pathetic.”
    >He even sent a copy to the Brother Captain’s family.
    >MFW
    Man, what an asshole.
    >> Cryptec Yessumahn 10/29/11(Sat)12:25 No.16774714
         File1319905531.jpg-(24 KB, 402x512, abNecronLord.jpg)
    24 KB
    >>16774573
    >>16774589
    >>16774594
    >>16774600
    >>16774605
    >>16774614

    That's some mighty fine prickery there, sir.



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