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    38 KB EVO Quest - Part V OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)20:05 No.16778621  
    You... you are not quite sure what you are, but you have the unquestioning loyalty of the Sunfang Tribe and they consider you their god- the Guardian of the Earth.

    You were once nothing more than an overgrown cave salamander, until fate intervened by way of a fresh, bloody meal that wasn't cave mold or dead vermin. Now, you are an armored, mind-melding salamander with power over death and power over life, and your undead champion-minion is an awe-inspiring fusion between a bear skull and a tyrannosaurus rex skull that has limbs.

    You own a tribe of lizardmen ("sunfangs") and are helping them take back their ancestral forests- and their mysterious crystals- from the elven woodfolk; perhaps someday, you will also help the sunfangs take back their lost heritage.

    ... well, you commanded the forest itself to stop a GIANT GODDAMN FALLING METEOR and have bequeathed it to the sunfangs as a home, so you're probably well on your way to helping the sunfang prosper again.
    >> Nothingmancer 10/29/11(Sat)20:07 No.16778633
    >> LizardMoonVivecDude 10/29/11(Sat)20:08 No.16778640
         File1319933321.jpg-(75 KB, 546x410, OurUnholySpawn.jpg)
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    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)20:11 No.16778667
         File1319933495.jpg-(248 KB, 2112x1558, 1319683099929.jpg)
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    Calming Aura, Level 2
    > Pacifies creatures; resisted by strong emotion.
    > 30 ft radius, weakens as it goes (Strongest at <10 ft)
    Shapeshifting/Body Sculpting, Level 1
    > Transform into the last creature PARASITED, duration 5 min.
    > May also alter the SIZE of one Body Part.
    Necromancy, Level 3
    > Can raise and animate TWO undeads (physical/spiritual), skill roll for size: 3+bears
    > If no commands are given, minions will return to you and await orders.
    > Can sense corpses in a radius
    Biomancy, Level 2
    > Can alter and sculpt any living bio-organic materials, skill roll for size: 2+bears
    > Can sense life in a radius

    Shadow Travel, Level 0 (Dormant; Bear's Power)
    > Instantaneous travel between shadows. All other details unknown.
    > ???
    Starfall, Level 0 (Dormant: Tyrant King's Power)
    > MUCH weaker than the Tyrant King's meteor drop.
    > ???
    Mouth Laser, Level 0 (Dormant: Lizard-Bird's Power)
    > Fires your laser.
    > ???
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)20:13 No.16778687
         File1319933617.jpg-(348 KB, 2484x2000, 1319687741624.jpg)
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    Parasitic Mouth Hooks +2
    >Drains blood quickly, medium telepathy, grants control
    >High strength
    >Numbs Sensation
    Titanium Web Spinners OF LIFE
    >Shoots sticky web from ass, distance of 10 ft.
    >High strength. Still flammable.
    >Slower than Rope Tongue.
    >You now shit the very essence of life.
    Rope Tongue
    >Sticky. 7 ft, retractable.
    >Faster than webs.

    EYES: Base; small; Lowlight
    NOSE: Base; weak
    > Jaw Strength Lvl. 1
    > Mouth-Hooks+
    > Rope Tongue
    > Vocal Chords- Blorp, Gleep, Hurp.
    NECK: Base; None
    > +3 (Improved Info Gathering)

    > Titanium Web Spinners of Life
    > SKIN: Bone Armor+1 WITH SPIKES
    > Muscle Mass Increase+1; 3 ft long
    > Rending Claws
    > Legs +1, RETRACTABLE
    TAIL: Dragging
    Yellow Crystal:
    > Simple language translator; other effects unknown.
    Red Crystal:
    > Gave evolutionary boost; other effects unknown.
    Bearex: T-Rex skull with bear skull. Your champion.
    Razz: Leafdancer. Your mouthpiece, representative, and Godspoken.
    Aazz: Former Sunfang Chieftain, current ghost. First member of your Wraithguard.
    Zazz: Elder Leafdancer. Razz's boss. Old.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)20:21 No.16778741
         File1319934066.png-(130 KB, 1578x598, yougloriousbastards.png)
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    BEFORE WE START, I refer you to exhibit A, which took place after the thread actually ended last night.


    So... yeah.

    1) FREE BEAREX UPGRADE (Biomancy'd Arms)
    3) FREE RELIC (Looting Bonus from Woodfolk Village)
    >Roll 1d40, always
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:22 No.16778750
         File1319934139.jpg-(25 KB, 720x480, hellhound.jpg)
    25 KB
    rolled 39 = 39



    Our body part shall be the eyes in pic related, except green. With an upgrade to shapeshifting.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:23 No.16778761
    rolled 11 = 11



    What. How did that even.....I hope I picked something good anyway. I just wanted better eyes.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:24 No.16778772
    rolled 19 = 19

    Bearrex upgrade: Let's replace his tiny T-Rex arms with BIG BEEFY arms.
    Relic:Buffs up ours and our Lizardmen follower's magical power when within a certain radius.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:25 No.16778776
    rolled 28 = 28

    I'll take time stream for a nat 40
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:25 No.16778782
    rolled 33 = 33


    I am pleased by this outcome, we needed better eyes anyway. The upgrade to shapeshifting is also nice.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)20:26 No.16778790
    For MYSTERIOUS TIME STREAM, I usually just open up voting again specifically for the powers- note I didn't actually say how many powers/body parts we'd be upgrading.

    'Sides, I'm leaving voting open for a bit, so we'll see how the rolls go!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:28 No.16778806
    rolled 21 = 21


    I actually agree with his choice of upgrades, if we get MORE body upgrades then I suppose something like a prehensile tail would be good.
    >> Nothingmancer 10/29/11(Sat)20:29 No.16778818
    rolled 13 = 13

    Artifact get!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:29 No.16778822
    rolled 8 = 8

    New Power: Upgrade Shadow Travel to Lvl. 1
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:29 No.16778823

    WHELP. At least it's something beneficial, and it makes us look slightly more horrific / badass.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:30 No.16778833
    rolled 30 = 30

    actually, for tail I was thinking something like a club, for face-whapping. Because sometimes you just need to backhand a bitch.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:31 No.16778843

    We have Horrific rending claws, and a prehensile tail we can use to strangle people with.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)20:34 No.16778877
    Okay, stopping voting (since it's been about 10 minutes, give or take)!

    - 2 New/Upgraded Unnatural Powers
    - 2 Body Part Improvements
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:35 No.16778893
    rolled 10 = 10

    Necromancy, Biomancy
    Vocal cords, and 'hands'
    >> Nothingmancer 10/29/11(Sat)20:35 No.16778894
    rolled 15 = 15


    Prehensile tail!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:35 No.16778897
    rolled 7 = 7


    Upgrade Necromancy Again
    Upgrade Shapeshifting

    The Eyes, use them.
    Draconic wings.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:35 No.16778898
    rolled 35 = 35

    Gonna go with the eyes, and prehensile tail. But strong-prehensile, not dexterous-prehensile.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:36 No.16778905
    >Upgrade bio and necromancery
    >Upgrade brain and maybe infravison?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:36 No.16778913
    rolled 32 = 32

    Powers: double shapeshifting
    Body parts: upgrade mouth hooks twice, for more killing power.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:37 No.16778919
    rolled 37 = 37


    This, but can we toss in a long prehensile tail too? I rather fancy our horrid 8-eyed, flying, blood sucking, Nightmare inducing, Dragon-Gecko.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:38 No.16778932
    rolled 1 = 1

    Powers: Teleportation, Necromancy
    Body Upgrades: Rending Claws, The ability to poison our claws/bite.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:38 No.16778938
    rolled 25 = 25

    Power: telepathy, and upgrade shapeshifting
    body: upgrade tongue and claws
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)20:39 No.16778941
    Are you putting the dice roll in the email field?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:39 No.16778946
    rolled 1 = 1

    Upgrade Laser, Necromancy
    Improve Eyes (SIX OF THEM!!!2!), Tail (prehensile)
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:40 No.16778962

    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:41 No.16778967
    Don't capitalize "dice".
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:42 No.16778985
         File1319935358.jpg-(459 KB, 3000x2368, bearex copy 2.jpg)
    459 KB
    rolled 30 = 30


    He's noko'ing his rolls. Lets you keep the thread refreshed at the cost of hiding your roll. Can be used to cheat, so it may/may not be disregarded at your discretion. Also, I come bearing gifts.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)20:42 No.16778988
         File1319935375.gif-(1.15 MB, 320x240, 1307076291125.gif)
    1.15 MB

    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)20:45 No.16779009
         File1319935539.png-(872 KB, 982x658, 1274754341224.png)
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    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:45 No.16779011
         File1319935549.jpg-(626 KB, 3000x2368, gurren bearex.jpg)
    626 KB
    rolled 18 = 18

    >implying we aren't awesome

    Believe in me, who believes in Blorp, who believes in Himself!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:46 No.16779015
    Okay so wait, we have gained an upgrade in necromancy again, an upgrade in Shapeshifting, 6 more eyes )making 8 total) arranged up and down our skull, Fucking DRACONIAN WINGS, and if the OP is nice throws in a nice long prehensile tail? Holy shit, we Aztec Dragon Gecko God now. With the side benefit of STILL being adorable.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:47 No.16779021
    rolled 10 = 10

    New goal: acquire a red cape.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:50 No.16779051

    Looks like a frogzard skeleton, but with arms.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:52 No.16779071
    rolled 16 = 16


    Yeah, I noticed that when I was drawing it. But that is basically what happens when you get rid of a T-rex's ribcage.

    >> weird (Pessimistic & Perverted White Knight) 10/29/11(Sat)20:53 No.16779075
    rolled 31 = 31

    One of the dormant powers (starfall) and necro.
    Then add Birdie's remains onto the pile of bones that is Bearrex.

    'All my enemies shall fall and serve me! Yes, that was what he said. Yes, with the Blorp-'
    > GLEEP?
    'Nothing, sir. Just making sure they understand your emminence.'
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:54 No.16779089

    I would assume so, it still looks pretty cool. Good job.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)20:59 No.16779122
    rolled 10 = 10

    Fuck yeah EVO quest. It's literally the best thing on /tg/ in the past week. Every other quest fails to come close to the awesomeness that is this thread.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:00 No.16779133
    >Next Timestream: EVOLVE A CAPE AND GLASSES.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)21:04 No.16779170
    > Necromancy Lvl. 4 (+1 minion)
    > Shapeshifting/Body Sculpting Lvl. 2
    > Eight Eyes (Spiral Green)
    > Whiplash Tail
    > Draconic Wings Lvl. 1

    You're not sure exactly what happened; the last thing you remember is seeing your awe-inspiring skeletal champion open its maw and ROAR, brilliant green energy enveloping its bony form.

    The next thing you know... you've evolved agaiHOLY SHIT YOU CAN SEE EVERYTHING- Left! Right! Up! Further up and a little bit behind you! This is fucking amazing, your vision can focus on EVERYTHING AT ONCE!

    Your tail! It's... it's not a little dragging thing anymore! You can actually USE it- you whipcrack the ground once, twice, and thrice, leaving shallow furrows in the loose dirt as you marvel at it. Finally, you flex the muscles on your back, and you feel two large SOMETHINGS snapping open-

    - and in sheer defiance of physics, you and your entire armored body are now airborne, rising above the forest green. It is goddamned amazing; you can't exactly touch the clouds (in fact, you're kind of skimming the treetops as you circle), but you've never felt so free before. Joy bubbles up within you; you are no longer a mere worm wriggling across the ground! More like a fucking WYRM, am I right!? Damn straight!

    ... you've been hanging around Aazz for too long.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)21:04 No.16779179

    Regardless, your newfound flight is amazing and all, but you're tiring quickly; you descend, but not before noticing the terrain:

    - NORTH: The direction of your home cave. You've never really noticed, but it sits at the foot of a small jagged mountain range, and it stretches off to the east and west for a little bit.
    - WEST: Forest, forest, and more forest- though you see the tip of a large hut poking up out of the treetops. Is that the Northwest Woodfolk Settlement with the strange pit?
    - EAST: The forest ends pretty abruptly, and there are plains and hills. Vegetation is sparse, but you think you see a dark smudge on the horizon.
    - SOUTH: The forest keeps going for a little while before ending; the entire horizon glitters, as if there's a large body of water. But that shit isn't possible... right?

    You slowly glide back down to the Meteor'd Woodfolk Ruins; below, you see Zazz and Razz waving their arms, trying to catch your attention; behind them is a small group of sunfangs.

    A little ways off, Aazz (standing at the foot of your Bearex) is trying to catch your attention, too. He's standing next to... a metal cube about as tall as he is.

    Who to talk to first?

    >> Nothingmancer 10/29/11(Sat)21:05 No.16779190
    rolled 7 = 7

    See what the hell that cube is about
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:06 No.16779197
    rolled 38 = 38

    Aazz. This metal box intrigues me.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:06 No.16779199
    rolled 40 = 40

    Well, obviously we talk to aazz first. talk to our troops before we start poking at strange things we-dont-know-what-they-are
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:07 No.16779211
         File1319936879.jpg-(364 KB, 1200x1659, 1316312070530.jpg)
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    Better picture for you bro.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:08 No.16779214
    rolled 15 = 15

    to specify, yes I did mean talk to Aazz. seeing as it's a critical, best to be clear.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:09 No.16779224
    rolled 7 = 7

    >nat 40

    Welp I guess we're going with this.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:09 No.16779227

    THAT is what our eyes look like?! Holy fuck this is awesome.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:14 No.16779269
    rolled 30 = 30


    Let's go see what's up with the small group of sunfangs, I bet there was some sort of raid by the woodfolk.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:17 No.16779296
    With shapeshifting two, we can expand two body parts, right? Just guessing by how the powers have worked so far. Would increasing our wing size increase our flight speed at all?
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)21:20 No.16779320
    ... why did you even BOTHER asking yourself that question?

    You fly down to perch on Bearex and gleep questioningly at the spectral Aazz.

    "Gahaha! Grats on the fucking wings, my lord! Free as a bird now, eh? Damn straight!"


    "Oh, this guy?" Aazz gives the metal box a friendly pat. Upon closer inspection, it has smooth edges, and seams are visible all along its body. The box is also shivering. "Found him wanderin' around while you were all up in the air! We've been having a real fuckin' friendly chat. Ain't that right?"

    "You... you boss?" The box's top lid slowly opens up, revealing a fair bit of slime and two glowing yellow eyes that seem to be floating around independently. They peer worriedly out at you. "Please! Please no let ghost eat me! Just humble wanderer!"

    Aazz raps on the lid. "Naw, he's our GOD. Get it right." He turns back to you, shaking his head. "Timid little fucker.

    "Anyway, he snuck past the sentries somehow. Calls himself a 'forgeslug,' whatever that is; could be a spy, could be a monster that talks pretty, could be ANYTHING. What do you want us to do with him?"

    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:22 No.16779334
    rolled 5 = 5

    Aazz should keep an eye on him, and keep him near the cave, but not in it.
    Then go see what the other guys want.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:22 No.16779335
    rolled 27 = 27


    Try to communicate with it. It may be useful to us (in a matter other than biomass to fuel our evolution).
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:22 No.16779336
    rolled 8 = 8


    Use calming aura on him, and then quesiton him on where he was wandering too, does he know anything about crystals or wood folk etc. If anything he might be a useful ally and companion.
    >> Nothingmancer 10/29/11(Sat)21:22 No.16779337
    rolled 36 = 36

    Ask him about where he came from.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:23 No.16779343
    rolled 33 = 33

    blorp at it, and convince it to man the fuck up.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:23 No.16779345
    rolled 17 = 17

    I don't think he's a spy. And if the "forge" in forgeslug means anything, he could be very useful. Question him. Find out what he is, where he's from, and why he's here.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:23 No.16779349
    rolled 22 = 22

    "What are you? Where did you come from? What is a forgeslug?"
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:24 No.16779353
    rolled 21 = 21

    Calming Aura diplomacy time.

    Befriend or eat. Gleep either way.
    >> weird (Pessimistic & Perverted White Knight) 10/29/11(Sat)21:26 No.16779369
    Regarding pic of Bearrex, drawfag, can't you make the leg bigger? Seems like the proportion is off. Also, did we get the hipbones too?

    EVO: Can we toss in Birdie's bones in Bearrex? At least, its skull.

    Wait for Aazz. Or the elder leafdancer.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)21:26 No.16779372
    It... probably won't be a good idea to try flying with wings Shapeshifted for growth.

    But you can certainly TRY if you make the right rolls!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:28 No.16779384
    rolled 12 = 12


    Calming aura up in this bitch.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:29 No.16779392
    rolled 36 = 36

    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:31 No.16779401
    rolled 20, 17 = 37


    Calming Aura, as per our usual tactics.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:33 No.16779418
    rolled 9 = 9


    Wow you have to be the worst tripfag on this board right now.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)21:35 No.16779431

    The forgeslug stares at you blankly until Aazz steps in to translate, adding a LOT more "fucks" and "eh? Damn straights!" than you'd originally said.

    "Forgeslug... from east. Hills. Ore pits. Ore, make shells." The thing's lid raises up a little more, and orange eyestalks peek out. "W-Wanted to learn more about scary shiny rocks... no answers from overslugs at home. So go on learning quest."

    He stares at you for a few seconds longer. "... you eaten scary shiny rocks." The forgeslug gurgles. "Can tell by eyes. You have look."

    Aazz WAS making a throat-cutting motion behind the forgeslug's back, but he's just staring, slack-jawed at it at the mention of the crystals.

    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:37 No.16779439
    rolled 31 = 31

    You wanna know about the stones, you tell me about these "shells"
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:37 No.16779443
    rolled 8 = 8


    Use calming aura, then interrogate that fucker FBI style.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:38 No.16779453
    rolled 19 = 19


    Question odd slug-creature about his knowledge of the crystals.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:39 No.16779460
    rolled 5 = 5

    try to befriend him, exchange stories for stories, maybe someday we'll have a gelatinous cube, with a lil' biomancery.
    >> weird (Pessimistic & Perverted White Knight) 10/29/11(Sat)21:40 No.16779466
    rolled 27 = 27

    +slumps shoulders+
    Yeah, BB and IE is wreaking havoc to my posting speed.

    Fourthing calming.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:40 No.16779467
    rolled 28 = 28


    I can't believe we didn't use calming aura last turn. Seriously, it's the most useful power right now. Also ask why knows so much about the crystals.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:41 No.16779488
    rolled 25 = 25


    Murder him, then raise him back from the dead.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:42 No.16779493
    rolled 10 = 10

    Guys, relax. we don't need to use calming aura, it's already calm. We aren't going to change it's personality from being a timid little shit by calming it down.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:43 No.16779508
    rolled 5 = 5


    Being timid does not mean being calm. The dude is shitting bricks and can't get his answers straight. He needs to calm down so he will give us more information faster.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:45 No.16779516
         File1319939119.jpg-(126 KB, 1060x884, Travelling Slime copy.jpg)
    126 KB
    rolled 37 = 37


    Hopefully I made this before the inevitable slaughtering kicks in. Just look at that face.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:45 No.16779521
    rolled 4 = 4

    Or hes just stupid, and that's why hes talking so weirdly.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:46 No.16779524

    Man, that face is so adorable and cuddly and cute. I can't wait to fucking butcher him.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:47 No.16779529
    rolled 33 = 33


    Forgot me rolls.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:47 No.16779532
    rolled 21 = 21

    and hes already liquidy, so he'll go down smooth.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)21:48 No.16779537
    Okay, voting stopping!

    Sorry, I'll be a little bit slow- flagged down on phone by family for about 15 minutes and running, so it'll be some time before the next post.
    >> Nothingmancer 10/29/11(Sat)21:48 No.16779542
    rolled 16 = 16

    Offer to help him in his quest, as long as he stays loyal to us.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:49 No.16779561
    rolled 21 = 21


    Tell your family to calm their shit, you're doing something important on the internet right now.
    >> weird (Pessimistic & Perverted White Knight) 10/29/11(Sat)21:49 No.16779563
    rolled 40 = 40

    Was mentioned before that Woodfolk are mining for metals, and considering that these slimes' name: 'FORGE'slugs and their box-skin... Can that what it meant by shells?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)21:55 No.16779592
         File1319939713.png-(1 KB, 123x70, 1318472328936.png)
    1 KB
    rolled 6 = 6


    Dawwwww just look at that face!

    Can we just be friends and not have to slaughter it horribly?
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)22:00 No.16779640
    You find yourself hypnotized by his appearance. It... it's like lunch in smoothie form, ready-wrapped for your eating enjoyment. He might taste like cave mold mixed with meat- and when you were but a smaller salamander, you LOVED cave mold, it was like ambrosia on rocks.

    You cannot wait to butcher him...

    ... but you kind of want to ask about certain things.

    >B... BLORP.

    The forgeslug's lid lowers a little bit as Aazz translates in that bombastic manner of his. Maybe he sees your drool- you hurriedly wipe your mouth, acting like there's nothing wrong.

    "Shells? Our shells..." You notice that his words tend to be slow and bubbling. "Coming of age. Young forgeslugs craft own shells, no help. Around own bodies. If not burn and die, then they okay."

    He pauses. "If can craft own shells without dying, can craft anything. Fit to be forgeslug. If die, not fit."

    The forgeslug brightens up. "You know of crystals, right? Let me join! Please!"

    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)22:02 No.16779652
         File1319940130.jpg-(23 KB, 378x301, 1319159315607.jpg)
    23 KB
    ... oh godHNNNNNNGH
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:02 No.16779654

    ...How the fuck did that sneak past the sentries?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:03 No.16779661
    rolled 8 = 8

    He's a living forge. He can make weapons for the Sunfangs. I vote we let him help.
    >> Nothingmancer 10/29/11(Sat)22:03 No.16779666
    rolled 15 = 15

    If we can get him materials and teach him about the crystals, will he forge things for us? If so, WELCOME ABOARD SMOOTHIE- uhh forgeslug.
    What's his name?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:04 No.16779675
    rolled 23 = 23


    I second this. We may be able to upgrade ourselves easily, but our sunfang tribe needs all the help they can get for equipment and weapons. He'd be of more use alive than in our belly.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:06 No.16779690
    rolled 34 = 34


    We should give him the honor of forging weapons for us and our troops. Then we should go see what's up with Razz.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:07 No.16779695
    rolled 26 = 26

    Join? Oh, of course you can join. In fact, you will be seeing the power of the stones very soon.

    and then we eat him.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)22:07 No.16779696
    Every time a sunfang sentry happened to look his way, he stopped moving.

    When the sunfang sentry loses interest because holy fuck did you see that fucking amazing butterfly just fluttering along like it owns the place, the forgeslug keeps moving along.

    ... again, sunfangs are not particularly smart (which we can't do much about) OR well-trained (which we DO have some control over).
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:11 No.16779731
    rolled 56 = 56

    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:13 No.16779755
    Care to explain how you rolled over a 40?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:13 No.16779764
    rolled 27 = 27

    Okay, we're gonna need to set this guy up forging shit.
    For now, agree to take him in, but we got shit to do with Razz and Zazz so we'll have to talk about the crystals later.
    >rolling over 40
    Uh oh.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:14 No.16779766
    rolled 9 = 9

    Then we MAKE them smart.
    Biomancy their brains, or biomancy the brain of the leader of the sentries, and make him teach the other sentries.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:15 No.16779776
    rolled 26 = 26

    I'm rolling 1d100 just because I forgot to get rid of it.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:15 No.16779782
         File1319940947.png-(140 KB, 400x250, 1307812181247.png)
    140 KB

    It's not that hard, he didn't use a 1d40.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:16 No.16779784
    rolled 6 = 6


    We're still not very experienced with biomancy yet, although we've leveled it up recently. We should maybe experiment with prisoners or something else more expendable first before we go trying that on our own people.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:17 No.16779796
    Surely you can understand how suspicious as fuck it is when several people have been noko'ing their rolls this whole time, correct?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:18 No.16779807
    Just a question: Since we can latch on and dig up memories and stuff if we improved our brains

    could we transfer certain information back to them to help with that issue?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:18 No.16779808
    rolled 87 = 87

    Nope, I just got here.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:18 No.16779809
    No noko'ed rolls count then.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:19 No.16779819
    OP, is there any way we can combine two powers? Things like biomancy and shapeshifting.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:19 No.16779821
    rolled 40 = 40


    Hiding what dice you're using is really only a problem with quests that use a roll under system. If you try to use a dice higher than a d40 here, then you'd have a smaller chance of getting a critical roll, and a smaller dice would make it impossible, obviously. So there's really no reason to NOT use the specified dice when you're aiming for high rolls.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:20 No.16779832
    rolled 37 = 37

    After we deal with Razz, we should give our followers bone and wood armor and shields made from the remains of the T-Rex and the forest using our powers, that should work until we get the slug forging metal tools/weapons.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:21 No.16779839
    rolled 8 = 8

    Guys calm down. It's not like people will covertly roll something stupid like d4000s to get their result higher.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:21 No.16779842
         File1319941271.png-(491 KB, 639x466, 1303712481440.png)
    491 KB

    Welp, that'll teach me to leave my dice in the field when I'm not actually voting for an action.
    >> weird (Pessimistic & Perverted White Knight) 10/29/11(Sat)22:23 No.16779863
    Biomancy the worst of the dullards first, can't get worse anyway.

    Start trying to get the forgeslimes in on sunfangs ideology, then we can feast on their smartest later.

    Also, damn nat 40. Can't we get an improved brain upgrade for getting the revelation before exposition?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:23 No.16779866
    Yeah, I know. I honestly don't care all that much anyway. Just pointing out that this has a potential for causing a shitstorm that I would very much like to avoid in such a magnificent quest.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:25 No.16779880
    >roll 1d4000
    >get 8
    Oh god lol. I'm going to stop posting now. I'm glad I wasted that statistically implausible result on a pointless post.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)22:29 No.16779904

    In your infinite wisdom and generosity, you incline your salamander head at the forgeslug, assenting to its request- and the forgeslug gurgles happily, his box rocking from side to side.

    "Yes, blue lizard god! Will not trouble you or give ghost and burning bones reason to eat me! Am grateful! Will craft all! Craft anything!"


    One Aazz translation later, the forgeslug nods. "Name...? My name, Seventeen!"


    "Oh! Name is number of minutes it took me to craft shell. Will go make self at home! Thank you!"

    You watch the forgeslug's box slide away (with no apparent means of movement), slightly mystified; you tell Aazz and Bearex to hold the fort, and you go fly off to see Razz.


    When you touch down at the foot of the meteor, you see your Godspoken, Zazz, and a group of excited sunfang.

    "My lord!" Razz snarls, his tail lashing. He doesn't look happy. "We fucking looked through all the woodfolk huts; didn't find much." He gestures to the sunfang, and they start putting things in a pile- and nothing glitters.

    "Not a crystal to be found! Fuckers even removed the yellow crystals from the Exile Bands that they left behind!!" Razz snarls.

    Well, it's time for you to get down to business:
    > 40 Clubbers
    > 5 Leafdancers

    - Assorted Animal-Hide Books
    - 12 Light Armor Sets (Unusable)
    - 21 Copper-Headed Spears
    - 5 Exile Bands (Iron, No Crystals)
    - 3 bound Woodfolk Prisoners (Civilians)

    1) Try to train Spearmen.
    2) Try to train Leafdancers to cast better magic.
    3) Scrounge up Weapons and Armor; See Seventeen.
    4) Look for Crystals, Examine Books, Deal With Prisoners.
    5) Improve Bearex.

    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:32 No.16779920
    rolled 18 = 18

    2,3, and 4.
    >> Nothingmancer 10/29/11(Sat)22:32 No.16779925
    rolled 18 = 18

    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:32 No.16779926
    rolled 21 = 21


    1,2,4. We need to prepare our armies for war, and then perform some biomancy experiements on the prisoners.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:32 No.16779927
    rolled 13 = 13

    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:32 No.16779928
    rolled 14 = 14

    Train spearmen, leafdancers, and make weapons.
    Let's finish the woodfolk off for good
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:33 No.16779932
    rolled 16, 19, 32 = 67

    1, 3, and 4.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:33 No.16779938
    rolled 29 = 29


    1. Consume woodfolk prisoners
    2. Get Seventeen to repair the armor sets and refit them so the sunfangs can use them.
    3. Start training spearmen
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:33 No.16779940
    rolled 22 = 22

    We want spearmen. Lots of spearmen. It'll help them not only to defend themselves, but to hunt better and bigger things.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:34 No.16779945
         File1319942082.jpg-(6 KB, 152x262, AngelofDeath.jpg)
    6 KB
    rolled 5 = 5

    Fucking this, I can't wait to do some experiments on the prisoners.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:34 No.16779946

    Oh, whoops ignore the numbers next to those suggestions.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:35 No.16779954
    rolled 33 = 33

    1, 2, 4.
    Let's get a good army, and then keep searching for KNOWLEDGE.
    Also, experiment with prisoners.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:37 No.16779968
    rolled 14 = 14


    Let's use our Biomancy to make some of them female because we are lacking in population and I doubt there are many left AND increase their intelligence significantly, as in, smart enough to be USEFUL basic grunt troops, not smarter to overthrow us in anyway.

    Ask for volunteers to be made able to bear future warriors who will BEAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK OUT OF THOSE PUSSY WOODFOLK'S KIDS IF YOU HAPPEN TO DIE SOMEWHERE BETWEEN NOW AND THEN!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:38 No.16779977
    rolled 31 = 31


    I actually want to vote against this shit.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:39 No.16779985

    Same here.

    First of all, we shouldn't even begin to refer to the possibility that we might die. That's not going to inspire confidence in our followers.

    We've got other pressing matters to attend to before worrying about something like... breeding.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:40 No.16779987
    rolled 40 = 40


    Dude I know it sounded wierd, I didn't phrase it correctly, I just felt like we were lacking in population and after thinking of how much the Sunfang have been getting their asses kicked before we arrived I came to the conclusion that there wasn't many females left, unless they are also clubbers / basic infantry. Wasn't thinking anything dirty bro. I swear.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:41 No.16779995

    Disregard this 40, I didn't even mean to roll right there.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:41 No.16779997
    rolled 33 = 33


    > 40 clubbers

    >Hand out glowsticks

    Actual suggestion though; Have three Sunfangs go help Seventeen make a forge, 7 more Sunfangs to go and scout for metal veins that may be poking out of the ground. 10 Sunfangs on guard duty, keeping a vigilant watch over the forest, 5 Sunfangs to gather wood for fire, 10 Sunfangs to gather whatever might have been useful from the old camp, 5 Sunfangs to watch over the prisoners. Leafdancers are to do whatever they did before we got here. We shall go and interogate the prisoners so we can free up the Sunfangs watching them for future use.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:42 No.16780005

    If they're getting their asses kicked, there's other more direct ways we can fix that and make sure we get the tribe more established before we can move onto something like that then. It's unnecessary right now.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)22:43 No.16780017
    Okay, stopping voting!

    Sorry I've been so slow tonight, guys.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:44 No.16780020

    Good point bro, I was merely making an observation that we are drastically outnumbered and was unsure if the Sunfang even HAD a way to continue their lineage, I mean, the Woodfolk have what? Three villages left? We have 40 Sunfang? Not good numbers.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:44 No.16780026

    This man right here has got the plan. We may want to keep a few sunfangs with us while interrogating in case something happens though.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:44 No.16780027
    Just saying, judging by how this quest's been going so far (WE ARE A FUCKING GOD, THOSE WOODPISSANTS AND THEIR PUSSY ELDERS ARE GOING DOWN!) I doubt population upkeep will be a concern of ours.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:45 No.16780037

    That's what the 5 there watching them are for.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:48 No.16780072

    Ah, must've missed that detail. Never mind then.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)22:56 No.16780150
    rolled 26 = 26


    I don't think we ever actually went inside of the giant meteorite. I think we should go in their and find the biggest cavern to make it our throne room.
    >> weird (Pessimistic & Perverted White Knight) 10/29/11(Sat)23:07 No.16780230
    Ah, Captcha, why the hate...

    There's no need to transgender them sunfang warriors. We can just try increase eggs per clutch, speed gestation, or other long term plans. For now, why not ask for females to step back from fight, inseminate as often as possible, and use Biomancy to improve general intelligence and physical robustness of the Sunfangs.
    That'll do for a stopgap, IMO.

    And, White-Knight speaking, can we also induct Woodfolk in?
    Since they were under the Elder's orders... Also, elf-slave-wat-do. 'Sides eating them. Heh.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:09 No.16780242
    rolled 40 = 40


    I'm sure we can induct woodfolk into our fold, the only problem with that is

    1) they've already got leaders who are roughly as strong as ourselves and 2) We will most likely have to kill most/all of them to get to the much sought after crystals.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:09 No.16780243
    If they are lizards, then they probably lay eggs, so we just need a matriarch of some sort. Leafdancers don't do anything, so why not have them keep watch over the eggs after they become fertilized?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:11 No.16780264

    Do we even have genitals? Our reproduction may not be a thing that can even happen, due to time-stream warping our body this way and that.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:12 No.16780268
    rolled 29 = 29

    >nat 40

    I hope we're getting bonuses for these crits. An increase in our fame seems suitable.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)23:12 No.16780272

    You've got a day to burn; you realize that the sunfang have been basically fighting nonstop for the past two battles, which says a LOT about them.

    When you send the call out for them to sleep, half of the sunfangs actually drop right then and there when you remind them that they're actually TIRED.

    One night's sleep later, and it's morning- and you've got a long day ahead of you.

    You take the Sunfangs that show the most promise and get them started on drills, using the spare spears for practice. At first, it doesn't go very well, since most of them are set on using the spears as CLUBS...

    ... until Aazz, your loyal translator/Wraithguard, gets impatient and starts cuffing the sunfangs, yelling them into shape. Within a few hours, you have about 15 Sunfang Spearmen who are at least proficient at 1) thrusting 2) at things 3) that are not their own feet, tails, or allies.

    ... it's a start.

    On the other hand, you're a pretty damn good Biomancer. The Leafdancers aren't bad at what they do, and actually exhibit some pretty fine control over the leaves that they whirl into peoples' faces; they just aren't very creative-

    >BONUS: OPTION 4 (Books)
    During a break? You flip through the books, and... wow, given how much you've upgraded your brain, and thanks to the yellow crystal's translator doohickey, you can actually READ them.

    It looks like the woodfolk elder, the tyrant king, was a pretty good spellcaster, and the woodfolk apparently know about leaves themselves.

    At the end of the training session, you manage to get them to start using clouds of leaves as FLYING BLADES.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)23:13 No.16780276
    You search for KNOWLEDGE!

    Accompanied by Zazz, you enter the main mud-hut building to look for the crystals. You find the small storage room where the Exile Bands were being kept, but there is neither hide nor hair of them.

    ... but then you, being closer to the ground when not flying, actually notice the woodfolk footprints. They're light and fairly recent, and- wait.

    Wait just a fucking second.

    Some fucking woodfolk had the BALLS to sneak in here, right under your noses, and LOOT the crystals AFTER your victory (and before the sunfangs had the smarts to secure the area)!?

    You follow the footprints as far as they go, fully preparing to break some bitches over your nonexistent knees, but the trail peters out eventually, stopping almost as if the thief just up and disappeared.

    ... fuck.

    You console yourself by dicking around with the prisoners, and come to the following conclusions:

    1) Woodfolk do NOT like iron; it burns them something awful. You're not sure what would happen if you speared them with it.
    2) Your Biomancy is quite capable of molding flesh as well as it does vegetation! For NON-PLANTS, though, you have to be touch the person/animal in question for at least ten seconds.
    3) Changes are temporary unless fatal.
    4) ... woodfolk do not live very long with their heads turned inside-out and their torsos merged perpendicular to each other.
    5) Melded flesh doesn't taste good.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)23:14 No.16780286
    - You send a few sunfangs to help Seventeen get his forge set up! Without your full attention on it, though, this takes the better part of the day, and forging can't start yet.
    - You send a few sunfangs to explore the meteor; without your full attention, they should get back to you at the end of the day.
    - You send a number of sunfangs to scavenge things from the old camp, to gather wood, and look for ore veins! Again, ETA: End of the day.

    You're just about to go ask these groups what's going on when you get a frantic call from Aazz; he melts out of the ground next to you without any preamble, and you almost- ALMOST- soil your non-existent pants.

    "My lord! We got a group of woodfolk at the edge of the camp! Er, our home! ... damn, we gotta think up a name for this fucking place sometime, huh? How about-"


    "- oh, right, fucking woodelves!"

    You fly out ahead of him and alight on Bearex; on the west forest edge of camp is, as Aazz says, about ten weapon-less woodfolk, who look VERY nervous. Keeping about a twenty sunfang are facing them defensively.

    ... the only woodfolk who isn't nervous is the one at the front who wears a ponytail and light leather armor- also unarmed. He is confident as fuck, he is slick as fuck, and he has a half-smile on his face.

    "'Guardian.'" Your hackles rise. Does that asshole think you CAN'T hear the quotation marks clang in place? "We come in peace; how's about we have a talk like gentlemen, hmm? I bring a proposal for you."

    ... huh.

    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:16 No.16780299
    rolled 30 = 30

    Well, we will converse like respectable gentlemen. Sink our hooks into him and start conversing.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:16 No.16780304
    >Changes are temporary unless fatal.

    Aw, nuts. So no permanent upgrading for our guys. At least we can give them a boost when needed though.
    >> Nothingmancer 10/29/11(Sat)23:17 No.16780307
    rolled 24 = 24

    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:17 No.16780309
    rolled 10 = 10


    FOCUS our BIOMANCY and NECROMANCY powers to make his skeleton explode out of his eyesockets.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:17 No.16780310
    rolled 21 = 21


    Calming aura the leader, then latch onto him and read/control his mind.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:17 No.16780311
    rolled 11 = 11

    Let's see what this arrogant bitch wants. It could be funny.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:18 No.16780316
    rolled 1 = 1

    This, totally this. Also call Bearex over to stand at a respectable distance and look menacing.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:18 No.16780318
    rolled 37 = 37


    I want to see the look on EVERYONES face if we pull this off.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:18 No.16780322
    rolled 20 = 20


    Converse with him of course. Mouth hooks + Calming aura to make sure nobody else tries anything funny while we're attached. Speak with him directly and see what his intentions are.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:19 No.16780324
    rolled 31 = 31

    Conversations are a blood sport for us, hook line and sink 'er in there.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:19 No.16780325
    rolled 12 = 12

    >Like gentlemen.
    Sure, just let us get a cup of tea and crumpets.
    Just ignore the big dinosaur/bear that will kill the life out of you if you even try to do something.
    Also, make some Sunfangs make said tea and crumpets.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:20 No.16780338
    rolled 21 = 21

    Let him speak. Begin engaging biomancy to have the plants sneak up on them from behind and restrain them so we can eat them and loot them with no loss of life to our Sunfang.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:20 No.16780344
    rolled 40 = 40


    Talk to one of the other Woodfolk, ignoring the oily bastard.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:21 No.16780351
    rolled 6 = 6


    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:23 No.16780366
    rolled 15 = 15


    Just as long as it still involves biting his face, sure, let's do it!
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:24 No.16780371
    rolled 3 = 3

    Attempt to communicate through interpretive dance only.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:24 No.16780374
    rolled 35 = 35

    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)23:25 No.16780379
    RE: Sunfang reproduction:
    They're most likely set. Besides, they haven't exactly approached you screaming about how their race is going to die out, so this is assumed to be a non-issue.

    RE: Blorp reproduction:
    Not necessary and not really feasible; besides, thanks to MYSTERIOUS TIME ETC, if you weren't one-of-a-kind before you even started evolving, then you sure as hell are one-of-a-kind NOW.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)23:26 No.16780382

    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:26 No.16780384
    rolled 36 = 36

    We've had a lack of interpretive dancing so far, let's fix that.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:27 No.16780389
    rolled 9 = 9

    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)23:28 No.16780398
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    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:31 No.16780419
    rolled 35 = 35


    This. Who does that slick fucker think he is? Lets talk to one of the ones who look afraid, fuck that faggot with the pony tail.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)23:43 No.16780516


    Aazz's grin is so goddamn huge that it's about to fall off his face, so he starts translating, keeping his eyes about a foot to the right of Slick. "So, how'd you like the fucking thrashing we gave you the other day, huh? Killed your goddamn pet dinosaur? This skull RIGHT HERE-" he pats the T-Rex skull, which glows "- is what's left of it."

    The slick woodfolk rolls his eyes. "Oh, come now, you can't expect-"

    "Shut your mouth," Aazz sneers. "The bossman was talkin' to the motherfucking lady." He turns back to the girl, who is suddenly pale and trying not to meet his eyes. "... I'd say sorry 'bout the language, but you're a woodfolk, I'm a sunfang, and I give no fucks about your prim sensitive ears. So, how about it?"

    The girl stammers. "I-It... it was luck, it had to be, I mean-"

    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)23:44 No.16780523
    Slick cuts her off... with a casual lightning-quick backslap that sends her reeling. He didn't even take his eyes off of you. "We agreed to leave the talking to me, hmm?" he seethes.

    It looks like you succeeded in getting under his skin- hell, you burst his PRIDE. Any semblance of cool quickly dissolves, and he points a finger at you. "I WAS going to play nice. I WAS going to offer you a chance at redemption. This is more than you deserve, because you are a salamander who thinks you can give yourself airs just because you took down an IDIOT who thinks that size is everything!" Slick hisses, pointing at the T-Rex skull.

    Slick seems to regain a bit of control, but you can sense the rage broiling just under the surface. "Well, there is only one true god in this world, and he is capable of more than you can imagine. WE are going to be on the winning team, and you, even you, have some potential! So I will give you this warning, and this warning alone:"

    Slick extends an arm towards you, beckoning. "Join us. Worship our god. Work under him. Or you will die, and we will wipe out your lizard followers like the fist of an angry Ice Age."

    You narrow your eyes dangerously; as one, the sunfang back away from you.

    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:45 No.16780533
    rolled 13 = 13

    break his neck with our tongue.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:46 No.16780546
    rolled 25 = 25

    "That was incredibly rude, sir." Then keep talking to the woman, have Aazz backhand the slick shit if he tries that again. Let's learn how life is under Woodfolk rule.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:47 No.16780556
    rolled 3 = 3


    Stare the mother fucker down, let him think about what he just said, after a bit start slowly walking towards him, using our shapeshifting to the point where we are large than the fucking T-Rex, then, we his is pissing himself in fear, open your mouth, mouth hooks extended, and IMPALE his ass, and then when we are done we look to the prisoners and politely ask if you would like to have dinner, not BE dinner, HAVE dinner with you and discuss things in a pleasant manner now that the filth has been taken care of.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:47 No.16780558
    rolled 30 = 30

    Listen here you greasy shitstain. You best start showing respect or we'll eat your GODDAMN FACE. In fact we might just do that anyway. Those of you smart enough to show the proper cowering might survive though. Biomance some vines behind in case slick thinks he can get away with disrespecting us like that.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:48 No.16780565
    rolled 38 = 38


    I like your style, so i'm going to support it.
    >> Taffer 10/29/11(Sat)23:48 No.16780575
    rolled 24 = 24


    "Whether it was luck or skill that won us the battle, it doesn't really matter. What matters is that we won. WE WON and YOU LOST! now miss, I suggest you leave and take your rubbish with you before we really get undiplomatic."
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:48 No.16780576
    rolled 24 = 24


    Whiptongue him close and eat his face. Let him die slowly.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:49 No.16780578
    rolled 1 = 1


    This, so totally this, We killed the fucker now let's actually have a nice pleasant conversation with the others.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:49 No.16780579
    rolled 24 = 24

    Accept his offer.

    Then when he turns around, choke him to death with your tongue.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:49 No.16780580
    rolled 23 = 23

    Web the asshole, rip his face off and leave him to bleed.
    Have our club-wielders knock out and tie up the rest for further interrogation.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:50 No.16780591
    rolled 40 = 40


    I like this.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:50 No.16780604
    rolled 16 = 16


    >Crit for being a scary motherfucker followed by being a benevolent host to the others.

    >> [AUG]xXIllXxXNeverXxXStopXxXLookingXx[BR] !gT.FMP2cF6 10/29/11(Sat)23:51 No.16780605
         File1319946663.jpg-(50 KB, 348x325, 1317982923076.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:51 No.16780606
    rolled 5 = 5

    use biomancy to turn the very earth against him and his followers.

    He has that time to surrender. If he refuses, he dies.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:51 No.16780614
    rolled 13 = 13


    Sweet jesus yes.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/29/11(Sat)23:51 No.16780619

    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:53 No.16780635

    They sent an asshole, we're just being as kind to them as they are to us. With interest.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:53 No.16780643
         File1319946810.jpg-(150 KB, 853x480, 1316370549504.jpg)
    150 KB
    rolled 11 = 11


    And this quest continues to be awesome.

    Really, though. With that offer, there's only one way we can possible respond.
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:53 No.16780648
    rolled 18 = 18


    I AM


    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:58 No.16780687
         File1319947111.jpg-(67 KB, 552x640, Hakkar.jpg)
    67 KB
    I had this image stuck in my head as i read that
    >> Anonymous 10/29/11(Sat)23:59 No.16780701
    rolled 20 = 20


    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:02 No.16780728
    rolled 21 = 21



    But in all seriousness, I probably won't get this done before the thread 404s. Unless you just want a shit scribble. And no one wants a shit scribble (lies, shit scribbles are awesome).
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)00:03 No.16780736

    You continue staring at him.

    "Ha! No witty rejoinders, mongrel?" Slick sneers. "No 'blorps' or 'gleeps' or 'hurp'? I knew it! Your reputation is nothing, and you.. you..."

    He trails off as you spread your wings and hop off your Bearex, alighting on the ground... and you start walking towards him. "What... what are you doing?"

    You don't answer; there are no adorable 'blorps,' no endearing 'gleeps,' no cunning 'hurps.' You simply begin to -grow-.

    "Stay back! Stay... back..." Slick's voice, now high-pitched in terror, trails off when you are the size of a bear. He's unable to look away from your eyes as you trot purposefully toward him, your wings mantled upwards like a feeding bird of prey.

    Each step brings your spiked form closer to him; each step covers more distance. Soon, you're looking DOWN at the wide-eyed woodfolk; after a few more seconds, when you are as big as the tyrant king was, you smell the acrid scent of fear running down the now-shaking Slick's leg.

    You open your mouth, revealing the glistening edges of unfurling hooks, and he's too scared to make a noise. He's too scared to even CRY.

    He's still staring up, even in the too-long split-second where he's suddenly impaled between your hooks-

    - and then, before anyone can blink, he's something that's crunching between your teeth.

    You calmly turn to the petrified woodfolk and BLORP.

    "Let's have some fuckin' dinner, eh? Talk things over like -gentlemen-," Aazz says mockingly, his normally boisterous voice oozing honey. "If you wanna BE dinner, though, be our fucking guests."

    His grin is horrible. "And be our main dish."
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)00:04 No.16780751
    Five minutes later, the rest of the sunfang are going about their business, and the nine woodfolk are huddled underneath the meteor, next to the skeletal remains of the tyrant king.

    You, Aazz, and a rubbernecking Seventeen are standing over them. Aazz looks over to you. "So what's the word, my lord?"

    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:06 No.16780768
    rolled 39 = 39

    Have a goddamned feast, the remaining woodfolk are our honored guests! Long as they keep their manners anyway.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:06 No.16780769
    rolled 30 = 30

    First, Bind them..Then we find the crystals..after that, we build our arena.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:07 No.16780777
    rolled 38 = 38


    We have a polite dinner with them and discuss the local rumors and goings on in the area while remarking that if they felt like it, they too could help the Sunfang carving a home out of this giant rock and be able to live in it as a citizen, not a slave, not a fearful servant, just simply live here and do whatever the fuck they want within means of not murdering each other or the Sunfang, and not breaking anything.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:07 No.16780778
    rolled 23 = 23

    Let's have talks. How cool would it be if we could bring the snooty bastards admitting that we're the better god?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:08 No.16780784
    rolled 12 = 12


    Always good to know ones enemy. Let them tell us of their culture, their technology, their average day, and this false God of theirs.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:08 No.16780785
    rolled 22 = 22


    We want detailed information about where the other woodfolk are, what kind of forces they have, and generally what to expect when we decide to move against them. After we have that info, we can start drawing up plans for our initial attacks against them.

    Also, more shit about the crystals and what they plan on doing with them.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:08 No.16780789
    rolled 14 = 14


    We need to interrogate them. Now. See what they know, especially in regards to the location of the other crystals and the amount of defenses guarding them.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:08 No.16780790
    rolled 34 = 34

    We can use them to do things like help seventeen man the forge an other sorts of menial labor so that our fighting force doesn't have to. Let's keep them. As long as they stay useful to us.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:09 No.16780794
    rolled 5 = 5


    Can we combine these two?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:09 No.16780799
    rolled 7 = 7


    >2 Mini-crits for being an Awesome fucking host.

    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:09 No.16780800
    rolled 16 = 16

    Lets offer to let THEM join the winning team.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:11 No.16780817
         File1319947899.jpg-(58 KB, 398x460, 1313808784656.jpg)
    58 KB
    rolled 22 = 22

    We are nothing if not a benevolent god to those who are useful to us. And who mind their manners.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:11 No.16780820
    rolled 5 = 5


    This totally, if the Sunfang ask for a reason, explain to them that we might BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THEM WHEN IT COMES TO WARFARE, we aren't fucking dickheads about it.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:14 No.16780845


    AS FOR EVERYONE ELSE? They can stay awhile and chill.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:15 No.16780849
    rolled 32 = 32

    The Blorp is a level 5000 Diplomancer.

    I'd say this should make our guests comfortable enough.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)00:17 No.16780864
    STOPPING THE VOTES! And yeah, I'm going with those two high rolls.

    WE ARE DIPLOMATIC ASSHOLES... and yet, we have not forgotten our gentlemanly roots.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:26 No.16780944
    rolled 30 = 30


    Woodfolk bitches all up in our Wings yo.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:27 No.16780952
    I realize it's a tad early, but I'd just like to plant the seed of the idea:

    The Great Blorp. A sonic wave so great and terrible that dozens would fall to their knees, dying and in awe of the humble yet magnificent utterance of a single 'Blurp.'

    We could use it as a method of getting attention, a sonic attack, or perhaps even (and this might necessitate another power in of itself) a means to carry our other supernatural powers.
    For example: combined with our calming aura we could pacify all who hear us.
    Combined with necromancy it could be a blorp so loud it wakes the dead.
    Combine the necromancy with biomancy and it could be a blorp that makes your skin fall off or your brains dribble out your ears.

    Yeah, we'd probably have to devote a lot to it. But just imagine: We could kill with a single word. And that word is BLORP!

    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)00:32 No.16781003
    One of the woodfolk- the slapped girl, judging by the red mark on her strange, angular face- speaks up, her voice weak and broken. "P... please. Just get it over with. Eat us. We... we were as good as dead, we ARE as good as dead..."

    Aazz is totally nodding in agreement and gives you this huge ridiculous wink. "Do it my lord! I hear they're fucking amazing when you slow-roast them with some goddamn herbs. Zazz knows the best recipe."

    You shake your head.

    It takes Aazz a moment to recover. "But- my lord- they're motherfucking shitfucking FUCKfucking WOODFOLK! We're trying to kill them all 'cause they're dicks and they're trying to fucking kill US!"

    "... in all life, never heard so many fucks," Seventeen murmurs dazedly. He hides in his box when Aazz shoots him a glare.


    Aazz crosses his arms, but you can tell that he's given up the fight. "... okay, fine, you DID give your word, but- can't I even have ONE fucking nibble, my lord?"

    >... BLORP.

    "Oh." Aazz sags in place. "Right, I... I can't eat anymore." He cradles his spectral face in his hands. "Fuck."
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:32 No.16781004
    rolled 13 = 13


    Bitches love wings.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)00:33 No.16781008
    Twenty minutes later, you manage to scrounge up meat that ISN'T from other woodfolk; the other sunfang are carrying on in the background, generally having a good time (which invariably involves seeing who can stay balanced on the meteor-bearing vines the longest while drunk).

    You're sitting in front of the main hut with the leafdancers and the remaining woodfolk; the latter hasn't touched their food. Aazz is sulking, but he's at least still translating as you quickly outline your proposal to them; that they can live in/under/around this meteor as a free people, provided that they "don't fucking touch or break ANYTHING- that includes us and your fucking stupid heads."

    "And believe me, our god is a benevolent god, so you'd be goddamn STUPID not to take this chance to not be slaves or servants or whatever," Aazz adds, totally apropos of nothing.

    The woodfolk stare. "H... how did you know...?" one- a man- whispers. "T-The prince didn't even introduce himself, nor did he even acknowledge that we were his... his..."

    "Dumb-as-shit meatshields in case something went wrong?" Aazz interjects. "Gut instinct. Our god's a fuckin' smart god."

    The woodfolk nods, still looking pensive; the rest of them do, too.

    The slapped girl, though, has other ideas. "T-Thank you! Thank you, but- please- you must run! The prince- he is undeserving of the crystal's powers- he wanted to prove himself! He left of his own accord! His father couldn't stop him!!"


    "B-But... if the prince doesn't come back... and he won't..." The woodfolk servant wrings her hands. "They're... they're going to send their best warband over. At least sixty strong, and... and one of the crystalborn deserving. They'll be here... soon."

    ... your mind races as Aazz curses up a storm.

    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:36 No.16781034
    rolled 1 = 1


    Send back one of them unharmed as a messenger?

    Although I suppose that we're going to get a fight one way or another.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:37 No.16781043
    rolled 17 = 17

    Gentlemen, we prepare FOR WAR! Let's turn their best warband into our best meal. We're gonna show these uppity little shits that no one who opposes the Mighty God Blorp escapes with their life!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:38 No.16781056
    rolled 11 = 11

    Tell them now that we know this information, we can be ready for them.

    The best warband ain't shit when they're walking into a trap.

    Proceed to secure the woodfolk's loyalty by describing to them how we plan to be a bro to EVERYONE of the forest, not just the Sunfang.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:38 No.16781062
    rolled 34 = 34


    Ask for some more specifics, if possible. Where they will come from, what they will be carrying, what the crystal-user can do.
    >> [AUG]xXIllXxXNeverXxXStopXxXLookingXx[BR] !gT.FMP2cF6 10/30/11(Sun)00:39 No.16781066
    Would it be possible to use our shapeshifting to become the prince for a short time?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:39 No.16781071
    Well, he was the last one we ate wasn't he?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:40 No.16781075
    rolled 37 = 37


    Just smile, just smile, our 8 eyes alight with green fire and with but a slow and soothing voice, we utter a Gleep, so calm and patient that Aazz can't help but translate it in a somber voice, "Let them come" and then we laugh, we laugh and unfurl our wings, we laugh as the ground cracks around us and the fingers of the Trees reach out of the cracks to present us with a fountain of sap, a toast to their new freedom, a Toast to War, a Toast to Liberation, and, we utter darkly, a Toast to Domination. Then we give a light hearted BLORP.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:40 No.16781076
    rolled 13 = 13

    We'll kill and eat them. Worst comes to worst, we'll lure them under the meteor and DROP the mother-fucker on them. What we will not do is run, and what we will not do is hide. If they come for us, they will be met with incalculable force. We will chew our way all up through their fucking city, freeing slaves and feasting on their holders fucking necks.

    Just sixty guys. It's insulting. Just who the fuck do they think they're dealing with?
    >> [AUG]xXIllXxXNeverXxXStopXxXLookingXx[BR] !gT.FMP2cF6 10/30/11(Sun)00:41 No.16781088
    rolled 17 = 17

    Alright then, rolling for luring the warband into a trap by shapeshifting into the prince.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:42 No.16781089
    rolled 19 = 19


    I'm going to back this up because the mental imagery is fucking awesome, BUT make that SAP the most DELICIOUS fucking thing EVER. Not delicious enough to get addicted. But jesus fuck.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:43 No.16781098
    rolled 22 = 22


    I want to see how the OP renders this scene, it would sound / look fucking glorious.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:44 No.16781106
    We'll probably be fine. I'm more worried about all the Sunfang who aren't leafdancers.

    I mean, fuck, they're so incompetent right now they may as well be kobolds.
    Don't get me wrong, they're getting better, but they've only taken the first step. If we had another month to do nothing but prepare them, I'd say bring it on. But as it is they're gonna get slaughtered.
    The leafdancers might escape, but it's just not much of a victory when 3/4 of your tribe is dead though.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:46 No.16781136
    rolled 25 = 25


    Holy fuck.

    That is...

    that's hardcore, man.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:47 No.16781152

    Well, we're in a forest and have control over everything around us. The only thing that will actually be an inconvenience will be the crystal-user, so we probably don't need to take any more than the Sunfangs we trained and the leafdancers, the rest can hide.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)00:47 No.16781157
    Cutting off voting here!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:47 No.16781158
    rolled 2 = 2


    Combine these two yo.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:48 No.16781168
    rolled 22 = 22


    First off we need to prepare this place for war. We're going to have to use the forest to our advantage.

    we need to divide our forces into three groups. The first and largest group, nicknamed "Death Iron" will be comprised of our spearmen, some clubbers, and bearex to initially draw and confront the woodfolk. They will bear the brunt of the attack. They will be as close to the forest as possible, so that our next attack phase will have maximum efficiency.

    The second group, nicknamed "Prophets of the earth" comprised of the leafdancers and Aazz, will attack the moment the first group engages the enemy. They will be hiding somewhere so they can attack from an unexpected angle. Using their new biomancy spells they should be able to drastically disrupt the enemy forces, at which point the next phase of our attack shall begin.

    The smallest and final group will be composed of us and any remaining warriors, who will try and flank them, or if this isn't possible we will attack the moment the prince shows himself. With the battle no doubt underway at this point we need to attack as hard as fast as we can at the heart of the enemy forces, which should produce a route.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:49 No.16781173
         File1319950153.png-(426 KB, 439x330, 1317332768164.png)
    426 KB
    rolled 18 = 18


    Followed by this

    It will be GLORIOUS.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:50 No.16781181
    rolled 29 = 29

    Great plan, except that guy we killed? He was the prince.
    Other than that I like it though.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:50 No.16781183
    rolled 11 = 11


    Drawfag here. I am sketching out all our upgrades. Sweet blorp are we terrifying.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)00:53 No.16781211
    The leafdancers are all in a tizzy, talking amongst themselves and scrambling to alert the others; Aazz is now cursing and pounding a fist AGAINST Seventeen's box, which the latter weathers out timidly.

    Soon enough, the camp is full of flailing sunfang- 'they have shit-better tools! Their magic is fucking powerful! They're outnumbering us, oh god!'- but your BLORP cuts through the noise and the panic like a knife-

    - while Aazz's uncharacteristically somber translation smashes it like a sledgehammer.

    "Let them come."

    Your eyes light up with green flame, casting everyone in front of you in an eerie, unnatural light. And then you throw your head back and- for once, it's not quite gleeping, but LAUGHING. Laughing like you've just heard the punchline of a silly joke, and then laughing like you're watching the world burn because you WANTED to see it burn.

    Still laughing, you unfurl your wings with a snap, and, as if on cue, the ground itself cracks beneath you, allowing trees to reach out like grasping hands disgorged from the gates of Hell. The woodfolk and the sunfangs alike recoil, and then-

    They marvel, as the tree trunks suddenly EXPLODE, causing sap to fountain everywhere. "A Toast to War!" you roar through Aazz. "A Toast to Liberation! And..."

    You lower your head, your smile revealing your mouth-hooks. "... a Toast to Domination."

    Everyone is staring at you. Even your bear-skull-on-a-T-Rex-skull is staring at you.


    As if a spell has been broken, bloodthirsty cheers ring out through the clearing, and the binge drinking commences.

    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:54 No.16781216
    >Shapeshift into Prince
    >Go to Woodfolk town, tell them you're leaving for a while
    >Un-shift back to salamander form
    >Mouth-hook and mind-controll their King
    >Convince them that crystals are evil and should be surrendered to you, the King.
    >Eat crystals
    >Have Sunfang invade
    >> weird (Pessimistic & Perverted White Knight) 10/30/11(Sun)00:56 No.16781232
    rolled 27 = 27

    Fights are usually ended between crystal-eaters anyway.

    Lay traps, and as soon as the warhost is spotted transform into prince and sit on top of Bearrex, as if the prince did manage to win. Don't forget the battle wounds, though.

    When warhost is close enough, Aazz and Bearrex lay waste to the center while Sunfangs circle around. Blorp can fly and shoot webs and pick up casters.

    What traps, though? Seventeen, Aazz?

    PS: Explain about webs of life?
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)00:56 No.16781238
    ... you do not join in the drinking, however, but you continue to think distinctly un-salamandery thoughts in your distinctly un-salamandery brain.

    You're going to need a plan, and a way of laying out your troops to meet the woodfolk warband's inevitable attack...
    - You
    - 25 Clubbers
    - 15 Spearmen
    - 5 Leafdancers
    - Aazz and Bearex
    - ... and a cunning plan for YOURSELF, should you have one.

    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:56 No.16781240
         File1319950612.gif-(449 KB, 500x300, tumblr_lpbjt7CJIi1qko4x4o1_500.gif)
    449 KB
    Slow typing will be the death of me...
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:57 No.16781249

    GENTLEMEN! We have just achieved the BadAss special rule.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:59 No.16781270
    rolled 24 = 24


    My vote is for this plan. >>16781168
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)00:59 No.16781273
    rolled 33 = 33


    Organize the leafdancers under Aazz's lead and the club and spearmen under Bearrex's.

    We have an ace up our sleeve, namely, that of the prince's shape. We can assume his appearance and lure the warband into a trap, saying that we've recieved an acceptance of the terms he set for us, and that we've surrended. Then when they follow us to the camp to see for themselves, have the rest of our tribe jump them.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:00 No.16781276
    rolled 40 = 40


    Still thinking we should ask the Freefolk what they know of the enemy crystal user, if anything.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:01 No.16781287
    rolled 26 = 26

    Can we use our bio powers while shape-shifted? Because if so, we should change into a bloody version of the prince. We meet the war-band, and lead them into a good ambush spot. The we use biomancy to cause the trees to attack them while the hidden leafdancers whip up a storm. In the midst of this, our rex and troops burst from the trees and attack from all sides.

    They'll be to confused to even fight back.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:01 No.16781292
    rolled 4 = 4

    I like >>16781168's idea. Let's put our spearmen and three leafdancer into the group that meets the enemy's charge. Then we split the remainders into 3 groups. One with clubbers, a leafdancer and Aazz, one with clubbers, the other leafdancer, and Bearrex, and one with ourselves and the rest of the clubbers. The groups with Bearrex and Aazz will hit the enemy force from both sides once they engage our spearmen, we'll deploy to wherever it seems we're needed most.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:01 No.16781296

    Holy shit we are fucking TERRIFYINGLY AWESOME, AND ADORABLE.


    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:03 No.16781308
    >nat 40
    They know EVERYTHING.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:03 No.16781316
    rolled 31 = 31

    The plants nearby should be raised to hinder the opposing warhost. Vines, if we can, or failing that - once they approach the edge of the clearing, we explode the trees. Begin using our webs on the trees, as well, on half the clearing so they can only come through one side.

    We want to take on BATTLE FORM and use only intercede where necessary - let Bearex destroy everything. Also see if we can find him some red glass to make into sunnies.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:04 No.16781325
    rolled 20 = 20


    Do this first before the attack

    And then combine these two
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:06 No.16781340
    rolled 33 = 33

    First, we use biomancy to buff our Sunfangs.Then, make a tunnel under the city with the buffed Sunfangs. Or make tunnels with vines and roots. Or something, just make tunnels.
    Stand alone like a badass, and lure them to the trap.
    When they come for us, attack from beneath them with the spears.
    If anything fails, run away and drop the damned meteorite over them, and get the fuck away using the tunnels.
    If anybody still wants to fight, keep using the tunnels, this time to kidnap random soldiers and bring them underground, making a distraction for the clubbers and the leafdancers. They will appear from behind the enemy lines, and capture those who are still alive.
    And then, one-on-one against their leader.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:09 No.16781363
    AGAIN I repeat, Woodfolk bitches all up in our wings bros, we went full-BadAss right there.

    Bitches love Badass Adorable Nightmare Fuel Gods.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:10 No.16781383
    Just found this thread. It looks like fun.
    >> weird (Pessimistic & Perverted White Knight) 10/30/11(Sun)01:10 No.16781385
    rolled 25 = 25

    Is there a limit how often per day can we shapeshift? Might want to practice with Prince's form a while, so we don't go BLORP-ing at an inopportunate moment.

    Remember to utilize well Aazz' ghostly body.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:23 No.16781500
    .....bump? OP? You there?
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)01:23 No.16781501
    You take a moment to ask the woodfolk about the coming force. One pipes up immediately:

    "The... the Bloodthirsters. Heard the guards gossiping. Half are bringing clubs because they heard about your skeletal champion, my lord." He steals a glance at the Bearex, but looks the FUCK away when it nods back. "... they don't know about... this, though."

    "Clubbers won't be armored. The rest will be spearmen," another one pipes up. He's older, scarred; possibly an ex-soldier. "And they usually put swordsmen around the crystal-bearer, all with heavy armor." He shrugs. "Couldn't tell you anything about HIM, my lord."

    "... King Selac."

    They turn to look at the slapped girl. "He's... the prince's father. God-touched like the other crystal-holders. As strong as any swordsman- no, stronger." She looks up. "I hear... I hear that even in his 'friendly' duels, there is no such thing as 'to first blood'; there's just blood. Then death."

    You divide your warband into three groups: Death Iron, made up of Spearmen, Clubbers, and Bearex, who looms above them ALL. They hang back in the shadow of the meteor... except for Bearex.

    The second group is Prophets of the Earth- the leafdancers and Aazz- dig a tunnel in front of the suspended meteor, hiding beneath the ground.

    The smallest and final group is... the Suicide Squad. They will be flankers if things go right; backup if things go terribly, terribly wrong.

    And you, a part of it, have shapeshifted yourself into the prince. That's not too hard, but the hard part is (after knowing how to walk on two feet and act like a gangly humanoid).. acting like Slick.

    You head out, feeling strangely naked without your EVERY HORRIBLE PHYSICAL ADAPTATION EVER... and go to bluff a crystal-user.

    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:24 No.16781504
    rolled 33 = 33

    Let's add our new woodfolky allies to the spearmen total. If they are sufficiently on our side, naturally.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:25 No.16781518
    rolled 22 = 22

    Let's rock.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:25 No.16781521
    rolled 23 = 23


    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:26 No.16781529
    rolled 35 = 35


    We're fucked aren't we?
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:26 No.16781530
    rolled 36 = 36

    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:27 No.16781537
    rolled 30 = 30


    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:28 No.16781551
    Chill. He said five. We're good.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:29 No.16781554
    rolled 28 = 28

    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:30 No.16781562

    Phew, didn't notice that, thought it was the USUAL 3 rolls. Sorry.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:31 No.16781567
    rolled 31 = 31


    We got one that matched 35 and another that was above. We should be fine.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:34 No.16781588
    At the very least it won't be a disaster.

    Good thing too, we keep taking crazy risks (which is awesome). We are one ballsy salamander abomination.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:38 No.16781617
    rolled 4, 32, 13, 18, 5 = 72

    5d40 for ballsy risks. Below 50 = Fuck risks. Above 150 = yay risks!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:41 No.16781635
         File1319953277.jpg-(86 KB, 500x313, IMG_0008.jpg)
    86 KB
    rolled 20 = 20

    If we never took risks, where would we be now? Still wandering around eating bugs in a cave? No, the glory of evolution such as we have experienced is only for those willing to reach out and grasp it for themselves. None who are content with mere safety and survival can hope to reach the heights to which we have risen.

    And the heights to which we will surely still rise to.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)01:50 No.16781692
    You slap your cheeks and take a breath. "Blorp," you say in Slick's voice.

    Go time. Just try to be an asshole. Try to be an asshole. Try to be...

    The warband is just- marching straight at the meteor; they see you soon enough, marching like you OWN this damn piece of land, every tree on it, and the dirt that they're walking under. It seems to work; one of the frontrunners approaches you quickly and bends at the knee.

    "P-Price Slick! You're alright!!"

    ... fuck, that was actually his NAME!?
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)01:51 No.16781702
    Soon enough, you catch up to the back of the army; the King and his warband are in front of the meteor, looking around in bad humor. "Alright, where ARE they?"

    >"Up on the meteor, you have to climb to get to tBLORP!"

    And right on cue, the woodfolk army is caught in a threefold attack: sunfang spearmen pinball out from the trees and crash- no, they VAULT, business-end first- into the milling woodfolk like goddamn dragoons, wreaking havoc. The sunfangs with clubs pile into the fray, smashing the woodfolk trying to defend themselves from the sudden spears.

    The MIDDLE of the woodfolk formation abruptly caves in; in what is now a half-ditch, half-pit, the leafdancers start dicing up the woodfolk spearmen with green flying blades, with Aazz right in the middle of it, smashing faces with gleeful abandon.

    And then there's Bearex, your champion... who lets out a horrific roar before jumping into the fray FROM ATOP THE METEOR. His impact alone utterly dissolves the front line, and the woodfolk- who were expecting a bear skeleton, and a beat-up one at that- actually start FLEEING.

    In this situation, the woodfolk's warband outnumbers you, but that just means more targets to hit.

    This leaves you and a few flankers- clubmen, mostly- facing off against the swordsmen and King Selac, who is staring at you with flabbergasted hatred. "You...! YOU!"


    With a bellow, Selac commands his swordsmen to cut you down like the dog you are (his words, not mine); you and ten sunfang clubbers are standing against an approaching wave of fifteen swordsmen.

    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:54 No.16781721
    rolled 15 = 15

    Transform into your natural form, web them all, and let your clubbers beat them to death.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:55 No.16781728
    rolled 36 = 36

    Pulse one Calming aura to disorient at least a few of them and then bind the Swordmen's with a quick side armed volley of spinner web so our Clubbers can beat their skulls in while they untangle themselves.

    Gleep our fucking tongue at the King and try to eat his fucking face off. Hopefully he won';t be expecting a 10ft rapid fire nightmare pink flesh thresser to come at him.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:55 No.16781733
    rolled 26 = 26

    Laugh. Laugh our gleeping ASSES off as we use our biomancy to cause the surrounding foliage to entrap them and rip them limb from limb.
    >> weird (Pessimistic & Perverted White Knight) 10/30/11(Sun)01:56 No.16781736
    King Selac: swordelf

    No mention of unnatural physical features, so probably focused on his swordelfship
    Improved muscle strength, muscle stamina, reflexes, senses.
    Might have some health perks.
    Wind magics? Prescience? Force shield? Haste? Teleport? Animate weapons?
    Tyrant Elder has that Starfall magic, and while totally unexpected, it follows an unexpected theme somehow.

    Though Blorp's powers have no rhyme nor reason...
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:56 No.16781737
    rolled 19 = 19


    Well no sense in keeping this charade up. But at least keep the shit-eating grin on our face as we transform back in BATTLE MODE.

    Use our biomancy to summon vines 'n shit to trip up the swordsman and keep them occupied while we take on the king ourselves.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:56 No.16781740
    rolled 14 = 14

    About face. Show them your ass and net them down. Then call up tree roots to grip them. Your clubbers should have no problems once they're bound up twice over.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:56 No.16781744
    rolled 20 = 20


    Use calming aura on them. I know it sounds weird to use this obvious non-combat ability, but if we use it our enemies should at worst become slightly less alert and thus lose some combat ability and at best become easy prey for our clubbers.

    We should also start flying up into the air and flying down in opportunistic strikes with our claws.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:56 No.16781745
    rolled 9 = 9

    This form is useless now, shift back and unleash the fury of the forest on these assholes.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:57 No.16781749
    rolled 29 = 29

    Currently grinning like an idiot.

    Anyway, Calming Aura to disorientate the woodfolk, Biomancy to beef our buddys up, then slash the fuckers up

    >and tyrisk
    Captcha says take more risks
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:57 No.16781756
         File1319954275.jpg-(308 KB, 781x399, 1308883225981.jpg)
    308 KB
    rolled 27 = 27


    Murder everyone.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:57 No.16781757
    rolled 21 = 21

    Calming Aura, stop them from charging.
    Trees, immobilise them.
    Ass webs, immobilise them.
    We can support another undead.
    Animate one of the fallen enemies and have it rush the King.
    Oh, and to boost the morale of all involved:
    Give a mighty BLORP of victory.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:58 No.16781764

    Blorp is the border between Life and Death, and thus we control both.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:58 No.16781766
    rolled 16 = 16


    Once we grapple his face, take flight so we can doing a flying display of our Manifest Destiny as we tow the WoodFUCKS wrinkly old king from our godamn mouths soaring across the sky.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:58 No.16781767
    rolled 32 = 32

    >> Taffer 10/30/11(Sun)01:58 No.16781768
    rolled 21 = 21

    ME! Use our new and improved tail to tail whip the swordsmen's knees and ankles. Not so shiny and tough now when you're on the ground and gonna get pounded to jelly by our clubbers.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:59 No.16781774
    rolled 2 = 2

    That, and Biomance some additional vines in with the webs.
    Blorp for the Blorp god.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)01:59 No.16781775
    rolled 27 = 27


    Summon the very power of the earth itself and trip up the incoming soldiers via roots and vines.

    Once we reach the King, we should biomancy his face off.

    Literally. Seal his face holes. and then mindrape him for crystal knowledge as he suffocates helplessly.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)02:00 No.16781782
    Okay, closing votes! And archived the thread just to be safe.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:02 No.16781795
         File1319954543.jpg-(224 KB, 1366x768, 1315281155132.jpg)
    224 KB
    rolled 25 = 25

    Currently laughing my ass off at these proceedings. This just gets better and better.


    This king and his pansy ass elves don't stand a fucking chance.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:05 No.16781824
         File1319954714.png-(547 KB, 676x835, t54twetwer.png)
    547 KB
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:07 No.16781837
         File1319954876.jpg-(16 KB, 122x132, p4 icon 3.jpg)
    16 KB
    rolled 25 = 25


    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)02:08 No.16781838
    You slam right back into your natural form, send out a calming aura pulse, and hurl yourself to the side to... moon the oncoming swordsmen.

    The aura causes them to stumble and slow a bit, but they shake it off soon enough, since they're spoiling for a fight- your WEBS, though, are not so easy to ignore, and eleven of them go down. One guy tries to interpose his sword between the string and his body, and ends up with the sword lodged in his face.

    Your sunfang clubbers TRY to dash towards the downed woodfolk like fur traders on baby seals, but the remaining swordsmen jump to defend their brethren like the PETA gone medieval, and-

    Good god, these swordsmen are holding their own against FOUR of your clubbers.


    You go straight for the source, your tongue snapping out for King Selac's face- but there's an AWFUL lot of armor over and around it, and he was watching you-

    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:09 No.16781854
    rolled 24 = 24

    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:09 No.16781856
    rolled 31 = 31

    Fuck your armor

    I have money
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:09 No.16781859
    rolled 25 = 25


    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:09 No.16781861
    rolled 35 = 35

    Alright dice gods, if there was any time to give me a good roll it's now.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:10 No.16781864
    rolled 10 = 10

    Time for some face lovin'.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:10 No.16781867
    rolled 19 = 19

    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:10 No.16781868
         File1319955039.gif-(73 KB, 313x429, 69.gif)
    73 KB
    rolled 30 = 30


    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:12 No.16781887
    rolled 4 = 4

    Damn a 31

    The best we can hope for is to slime his face plate.

    Let's take to the skys and get some aerial coverage for our troops. These woodfolk seem to be MUCH better suited for fighting and some divine intervention seems to be in order. Get a good look a the state of battle then direct the BearRex to the heaviest of the fighting. Do web slinging straffing runs and pick up and toss random Woodfucks as we fly by.
    >> weird (Pessimistic & Perverted White Knight) 10/30/11(Sun)02:13 No.16781890
    Huh, such a manly elf. He got a fucking beard for BLORP's sake. And he's wearing armor. Didn't they say Woodsfolk fear metal? Or was that just iron.

    Regardless, watch out for super-powered chops.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:14 No.16781894
    rolled 30 = 30


    Okay, it looks like we have to weaken him first. We need to make an emergency exit into the sky, then use bio-mancy to try and tangle up the swordsmen.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:14 No.16781897
         File1319955268.jpg-(42 KB, 288x288, 3.jpg)
    42 KB
    I... I fear for our tongue....
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:15 No.16781902
    rolled 18 = 18

    Well I suppose our good luck couldn't last us forever.

    We can hopefully recover from this though. If we can't take him up close, we still got fucking wings and webs and CONTROL OVER THE GRASS ON WHICH THEY STAND.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)02:18 No.16781927
    - you recoil as your tongue hits cold metal, and, for the first time in your life, you are at a loss.

    Somehow, King Selac stands there with his helmet in his hands, holding it between your tongue and his face. "... not so fast," he snarls. His sword flashes, and he chops a full third of your tongue off before flinging the helmet straight at you- it pegs you midair, sending you flying into a tree in a haze of pain and blood.

    You get up and refurl your shortened tongue just in time to see King Selac, his white hair flowing around him like some sort of spiky mane, rushing right at you. You can see it in his eyes: he's a predator who's caught the scent of blood, anFUCK, did he just punch one of his own swordsmen aside!?

    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:18 No.16781931
    rolled 26 = 26

    With this quest, there was a very real chance of getting a 39 or a 40.
    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)02:19 No.16781950
    ... shit, do I need to make a new thread?

    Well, I can't make it tomorrow, so I'm sticking around a little longer tonight.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:19 No.16781951
    rolled 4 = 4



    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:19 No.16781954
    rolled 11 = 11

    Juke him. Act like you're going to bite off his face, then at the last moment, dodge down, curl up into a spike ball and SLAM INTO HIS CROTCH FULL FORCE!
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:20 No.16781956
    rolled 31 = 31


    I don't know, this has been going on for awhile, so it might be in autosage.
    >> [AUG]xXIllXxXNeverXxXStopXxXLookingXx[BR] !gT.FMP2cF6 10/30/11(Sun)02:20 No.16781959
    rolled 31 = 31

    Trip him up with roots, then eat his face.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:20 No.16781960

    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:20 No.16781967
    rolled 11 = 11

    Use our whiptail to hit him in the face and wrap it around his head. Then when we have skin contact, use biomancy to switch every pain receptor in his body to "worst thing imaginable".
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:20 No.16781970
    rolled 4 = 4


    Biomancy the wound closed, then thwomp him with the trees around you. All of them.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:21 No.16781972
    rolled 5 = 5


    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:21 No.16781975
    rolled 27 = 27

    Demoralise him with a loud, screaming "BLORP" that stops him in his tracks.
    Then stare at him, and BLORP until he is frozen in terror.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:21 No.16781977
    rolled 24 = 24



    Use our wings to take off, hopefully stay out of reach of that sword of his, and web him from above.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:21 No.16781979
    rolled 34 = 34


    Ok this is bad. I don't know if our hide can withstand his assaults with that sword but we know he is fast as fuck and our eyes are not all that protected. Use Biomancy to envelope ourselves inside a wooden cocoon using the bulk of the tree while we summon the BearRex.

    We need to gain some distance from this fucker and regroup. Don't both with Calming Aura since he seems to be one a mission to slice our shit up and it would be a waste of effort.

    That our take to the skies and web sling that white haired prick from low orbit then start bashing him against the trees in mid-flight.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:21 No.16781981
    Friends, how do you deal with any charging enemy?

    You get in front of something solid that he can't break through, and then juke him at the last minute so he slams into the solid object. Then attack his back while he's stunned.

    We shall handle this woodfuck no different than any other boss fight.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:22 No.16781987
    rolled 39 = 39

    DO IT

    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:24 No.16782001
    rolled 28 = 28


    We rolled so well to trap the meteor so we can use it as a home city, and now we have just unbalanced it so much it crashes into the ground. Fuck it all.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:24 No.16782002
         File1319955849.jpg-(174 KB, 576x711, 1303312837283.jpg)
    174 KB
    rolled 26 = 26

    >juke him into the meteor
    >fucking crit

    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:24 No.16782008
    rolled 6 = 6


    See? The problem is just biting his face off wasn't amusing enough for the dice lords. We need some razzle dazzle with our attacks.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:24 No.16782013
    Seems we have our plan. Thank you kind sir for rolling on behalf of my idea.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:25 No.16782014
    rolled 25 = 25

    He is a small to mid sized boss. Only big or bull shaped foes get stuck in the background.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:26 No.16782028
    Go vote these threads up. Get some attention here.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:27 No.16782035
    Not true! Hercules in God of War 3, and many other bosses have been beaten in this manner. Let's not forget the old movie trope of ducking a sword swing and attacking him while he is suffering from the recoil of the sword clanging against something hard.
    >> Anonymous 10/30/11(Sun)02:27 No.16782038
    rolled 11 = 11

    >> OP !!RkFQIQOO6xk 10/30/11(Sun)02:31 No.16782072


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