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    30 KB Zerg Quest LX Cerebrate Anon 11/02/11(Wed)20:49 No.16821893  

    One of our overlords is hovering in UED space, after revealing itself to the locals. The response was panicked, but our unusual approach to the situation diffused any immediate violence.

    The as-yet-unnamed commander of the fleet of UED battlecruisers before us is quiet a moment as he presumably considers our statement that he will have to trust us in the same way that we are trusting him.

    "Alright. I'm a reasonable kind of guy. Exactly what kind of 'contact' and 'relations' did you have in mind?"
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/02/11(Wed)20:51 No.16821905
    The sleek new Zerg Quest LX features semi-automatic windows and the reliability of polyester seats. It offers the freedom that only a recycled twelve-year-old 110 horsepower engine can provide. We've streamlined the door-opening process with our patented door-locks-stuck-in-the-unlock-position technology.

    Zerg Quest LX: The reliability of a car bought from your local used car lot coupled with the prestige of a Lexus pricetag.

    (Brought to you by Fnord Motor Company)
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/02/11(Wed)20:53 No.16821924
    After a four day archive binge, I am caught up on Zerg Quest and can participate without looking like a dumbass.

    Anyways. I say we go Crazy Hassan and over them access to ZergTV for low, low prices.
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)20:54 No.16821926
    "A mutually beneficent cooperation against the 'slugs' as you call them. An initial interest would be the detection technology you seem in possession of."
    >> TUCAMP 11/02/11(Wed)20:54 No.16821936
    Some TV, and we'll help with that other alien group we know nothing about.
    >> Lord Kobald !1jPEJ87kV. 11/02/11(Wed)20:54 No.16821940
    Trade of product and culture, allowing us to set up a broadcasting station for our ZergTV, maps of the stars that you will willingly share, potentially a defensive alliance, where if something threatens your entire existance as an empire, we will move to assist, and you do likewise, a potential candidate for our future plan to set up a Galactic federation. And we do some joint science work.
    >> TUCAMP 11/02/11(Wed)20:56 No.16821955
    I thought they were toads/tadpoles, cause we're the space slugs, the fight'n space slugs.
    >splore specialty
    And captcha wants us to poke the worldship again.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/02/11(Wed)20:56 No.16821964

    My attempts to not look retarded are going well. Is it possible to broadcast them a sampler of some of Artisanlord's fine programming?
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)21:04 No.16822047
    Whups, my fault, yeah, Toads it was.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/02/11(Wed)21:07 No.16822080
    "We offer a trade of goods and services. We have developed a very entertaining television network, which we believe you would enjoy. We also would like to offer what assistance we can in defeating this alien force that threatens you."

    "Well, normally an aid of military aid from a completely unknown group of space aliens would require some big to-do from the official government...but normally, monsters aren't rampaging across the Directorate, poisoning the atmospheres of whole worlds and eating human flesh. You want to help? Fine, you can help. I've got word that Tantalus III has confirmed frog activity." Stellar coordinates come through the link. "You help save those people, and we'll talk some more."

    The line cuts off.
    >> TUCAMP 11/02/11(Wed)21:09 No.16822100
    Well, lets go check it out then.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/02/11(Wed)21:10 No.16822108
    Off to Tantalus III, I suppose.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/02/11(Wed)21:13 No.16822143
    Aside from the overlord in this system, what forces from Lutrious should we send?

    We have plenty of Zerg units (including three Zergleks), one battlecruiser with some Terran support craft, and a carrier with a few scouts.
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)21:14 No.16822157
    Cloak Overlord, send it there and start mustering forces in nearby areas.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/02/11(Wed)21:15 No.16822167
    I say throw everything at Tantalus, but keep our Overlord talking to the UED. Multitask like a bastard.
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)21:15 No.16822172
    Keep anything terran away, let's try out the Zergleks and bring the carrier alongside scourges.
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)21:17 No.16822184

    Might be a good time to test the Zergleks as well. We should do recon before anything else though, so send a cloaked overlord to investigate.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/02/11(Wed)21:26 No.16822275
    Addendum, scout with a separate Cloaklord then hit them with everything.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/02/11(Wed)21:28 No.16822300
    >Zergleks: 2
    >Everything: 1

    We send the overlord to the Tantalus system and have it cloak. It is obvious that Dyles has stepped up its strategy. While there are civilian ships attempting to break the blockade and land on the planet, the battle among the martial forces is different from before. While there are still infected ships attacking, many larger freighters are in the battle, heavily modified to include crash pods for the purposes of boarding.

    Several of the UED ships appear to be dead in space as their crews fight for control.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/02/11(Wed)21:32 No.16822344
    Fight for control as in fight off borders or desperately try to repair their ships? Either way, move in our forces and start hitting Dyles's ships, the disabled UED ships aren't going anywhere soon.

    >establish etyauti
    And we should establish some etyauti as well
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/02/11(Wed)21:34 No.16822366
    (They've been boarded, is what I meant)
    >> TUCAMP 11/02/11(Wed)21:37 No.16822398
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    I say zergleks everywhere, while broadcasting messages inquiring about injuries.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/02/11(Wed)21:40 No.16822425
    Do we have Zergleks in the area? If so we can use them to clear out the boarded UED ships while the rest of our forces assist in the space battle.
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)21:41 No.16822439
    I want us to use our powers to find out why there is no EVOquest tonight. I'd rather think about playing that then actually do anything in this shit-tier quest.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/02/11(Wed)21:55 No.16822568
    (Aw. Baby got some hurt in its wittwe butt?)

    We decide to give the new Zergleks a shot. The three working models arrive in the system with a small complement of mantalisks.

    The first Zerglek joins the mantalisks and the UED ships against the attacking fleet. Its weapons prove ineffective against the capital ships, but it excels at destroying the wraiths, valkyries, and crash pods.

    The second enters one of the boarded battlecruisers. It quickly finds and begins exterminating the infected crewmen, taking no damage itself. The ship, only recently boarded, is easily cleared. The Zerglek moves on to another.

    The third Zerglek jumps into Dyles' civilian fleet and begins wreaking havoc. The fleet moves away too quickly for the Zerglek, who is forced to follow it by using bunny-hop Warp jumps. It is very ineffective.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/02/11(Wed)22:00 No.16822613
    If there's any of Dyles's forces left we should bring in the rest of our Zerg forces to finish them. Have the Zergleks begin clearing the rest of the boarded ships.
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)22:01 No.16822618
         File1320285660.jpg-(91 KB, 400x400, 1295140602050.jpg)
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    >Say I want EVOquest rather than this
    >Calls me butthurt

    I love it when people use insults when they're not applicable to a situation. Really shows how retarded they are.
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)22:11 No.16822720

    Put the third Zerglek to another duty, I say have it clear ships with the second.


    As fun as EVOquest is, I doubt the creator of it meant for you to bitch about how every quest isn't Evoquest. Fuck off.
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)22:12 No.16822734
    >As fun as EVOquest is, I doubt the creator of it meant for you to bitch about how every quest isn't Evoquest. Fuck off.

    I don't mention that every thread isn't as good as EVOquest. It's only the shit-tier ones that I do that for.
    >> Lord Kobald !1jPEJ87kV. 11/02/11(Wed)22:17 No.16822778
    I dunno, Dyles fleet is using up time and resources, I say thats fairly effective, just analyze how it responds to our incursion, and hit them when they jump in with a superior force.

    As demonstrated by Charley in numbers, nobody is ever truly random.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/02/11(Wed)22:20 No.16822828
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    >Can't find the thread I want
    >Piss and moan about it on another thread
    >Implying lack of butthurt

    Having tested out the Zergleks, we move all of them to reclaiming infected ships. Meanwhile, we send in scourge and mutalisks to support the mantalisks. Not thirty seconds after they arrive, Dyles' clearly-outnumbered ships simultaneously jump away. This number includes several of the dormant battlecruisers.

    We warp our forces away, except for the overlord. A battlecruiser warps into the system, and we receive another audio-only hail.

    "That was some damn impressive work. Looking at you may scare the bejeezus out of me, but you just saved a couple hundred million human lives. Can't argue with that."
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)22:24 No.16822872
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    >keeps using words that aren't applicable to the situation.

    If anything it's the person getting mad that their thread is shit that's butthurt.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/02/11(Wed)22:24 No.16822874
    Who the hell are they calling ugly? Anyways, acknowledge their efforts in battle then ask if they've considered an alliance.
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)22:27 No.16822901

    Time to open negotiations then. Terms of a mutual assistance pact.

    Things from the previous thread:
    non-interference of internal affairs so that they officially cannot do anything about the morian combine. We'd also better not do tell them about them before we get them to agree.

    Do not show them infested terrans.
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)22:31 No.16822933
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    D'awww, it's babby's first troll.

    Look, honey! He learned a new word! "shit-tier!" He must have been reading threads from two years ago, when people still said that. Isn't that cute?

    How long do you think it'll take him to realize that we're not going to stop enjoying this quest just because some Internet tough guy doesn't like it? Before or after he realizes that with 60 threads behind us, he's herping pretty hard to think we haven't had our fair share of trolls?

    Any bets?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/02/11(Wed)22:34 No.16822961
    (Might I suggest telling Artisanlord about this "ix-nay on the Orian-may Ombine-cay" thing before we broadcast ZNN's headline news into this area?)

    Don't even feed him, man. It's what he wants.
    >> TUCAMP 11/02/11(Wed)22:35 No.16822980
    Mow that that's out of the way, let's get back to expanding ZergTV's coverage area.
    >> Lord Kobald !1jPEJ87kV. 11/02/11(Wed)22:37 No.16823005
    Yes, and censor all apsects of Moriane Combine from his TV series for now.

    That will come later.
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)22:38 No.16823016

    I cannot process what you just wrote but yea, why not.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/02/11(Wed)22:39 No.16823023
    I'm torn between keeping infested terrans a secret and just spilling the beans now.

    If we tell them now it might prevent an alliance and may even incite violence. On the other hand, they're going to find out eventually and it will just cast suspicion on us and may lead to war when Dyles is finished and we're their sole target.
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)22:40 No.16823043
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    >Someone doesn't like the same things as him and is thus a troll

    I merely pointed out the fact this thread was garbage. What your opinion is doesn't matter in the slightest.
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)22:43 No.16823078

    We have to reveal it later. Showing it now lays our hand out that we've had contact with terrans before and we'll need to explain the morian combine.

    This leads to them attempting to 'liberate' the morians.

    We will have to tell them eventually.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/02/11(Wed)22:45 No.16823102
    Fair enough. Maybe we can say we're merely reanimating the bodies of those taken by Dyles.

    Actually, that doesn't sound like a completely terrible lie.
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)22:46 No.16823117
    I think we should keep it on the down-low.
    Like, don't volunteer the information. We already told them that we use a multitude of bio-forms.
    Maybe make a big to-do that we're going to set up some new strains that they might find more visually appealing, THEN we show them one of our more visually appealing Infested Terrans.
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)22:48 No.16823128

    That works. Aren't we spawning those human-like bioforms already.

    That one which we could only produce previously by infested terran females.
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)22:48 No.16823134
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    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)22:52 No.16823181
    (Where's the one with the googly eyes?)

    (Fleshlings? Jesus. We haven't done anything with them in AGES. And yes, we could only make them by getting a female infested terran pregnant)

    (So, what's the plan for grumpy mcwhaddayawant?)

    Do you have any idea how hilarious it is for you to post that picture?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/02/11(Wed)22:53 No.16823186
    Captcha, quit eating my name.
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)22:57 No.16823241
    I think we want to ask him to open formal negotiations for a mutual defense treaty, a non-interference in internal affairs pact, and possible trade treaties to syndicate ZergTV in UED space.

    Also tell whoever sends the ZergTV signal to the UED to censor out the Morian Combine for now.
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)23:00 No.16823270

    Didn't we eventually get the DNA sequencing right to be able to produce them from our spawning pools or something? If not, which of the human-like bioforms are we able to produce?

    Its been ages and I do not want to trawl through all the threads to look for that one scrape of info.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/02/11(Wed)23:00 No.16823274
    Seconding all of this
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/02/11(Wed)23:06 No.16823336
    We have cloning tech which is where all of our ghosts are coming from.

    Hmm, speaking of ghosts, how psychic is the UED? From what I understand, Confederate terrans essentially incested themselves so much that they can produce high level psychics. The UED on the other hand spread out and wouldn't have inbred so much, possibly limited psychic development
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)23:07 No.16823346
    We can actually clone full humans now, then Infest them after they've physically matured.
    It's how we made our Emissary to the Kel-Morian Combine.

    Perhaps we should make another Emissary to the UED. Maybe say something like "Look, I've watched your movies, read your books, seen your TV. And I'll tell you right now: no, I am not going to make hot green space babes for your captains to sex up.
    "I am growing a visually-appealing bio-form that can emulate your body language in order to facilitate communication between us and put you at ease, since you apparently don't like talking with one of our main bio-forms."
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/02/11(Wed)23:10 No.16823361
    (I don't think we did. I could be wrong. That happens, sometimes...a lot of times...Most times)

    "Well, I'm sure there'll be people whining about whether it's legal or not, but to hell with them. You've got a deal. You help us fight off this Dyles thing, and we won't go prying into whatever sordid affairs you've got to hide. Now, what's this about a network?"

    After explaining the concept of ZergTV to the still unnamed officer, he asks us to hold on for a moment. After a few minutes pass, he sends us the specifications for an unused frequency band.

    "I can't authorize payments, but if you broadcast on that band, you can get your message out. Anything more than that, and you'll have to play with the actual government folks."
    >> TUCAMP 11/02/11(Wed)23:10 No.16823365
    By main bio form you of course mean giant space lobster, no sense beating aroung the bush.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/02/11(Wed)23:12 No.16823390
    We hadn't been able to put our tendril on it before, but now that we think about it, there IS a substantial lack of psionic activity coming from all of the Terrans in UED space...
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)23:12 No.16823395

    Excellent. Time to send an emissary to formally sign an agreement once we fix a date for the ceremony.

    We don't do anything unless we have shit in black and white.
    >> Lord Kobald !1jPEJ87kV. 11/02/11(Wed)23:12 No.16823396
    Ask him if there is a central government that we can send a negotiator bio-form to facilitate communication and true alliance between the two of us. Then send:

    And initiate broadcasting.
    >> TUCAMP 11/02/11(Wed)23:14 No.16823411
    Announcing the new ZaergTV Pirate Edition! Now with more information on hacking you genome. And kicking off the new channel is the great new show, Evolve My Carapace.
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)23:16 No.16823425
    Alright, let's broadcast Zerg Street and some of our other children's shows. Make sure to censor our mention of the Morian Combine, the Confederacy, or what fate befell them.

    "Alright, now, back to the business of cooking frogs; where else are you being hard-pressed?"

    These zergleks are doing pretty good; I should hope so considering their cost.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/02/11(Wed)23:19 No.16823450
    Good. Now that that's settled, how goes our colonization efforts, both at home and in UED space?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/02/11(Wed)23:24 No.16823501
    "Whoa. You don't really think I'm just going to give you the coordinates for Earth and let you land your...whatever the hell you call that, do you?"

    Well, he has a point.

    We actually don't have the capability to broadcast to this area, yet. Our regular ZergTV range doesn't even cover the entire Koprulu Sector, and we're a long ways away.
    >> Lord Kobald !1jPEJ87kV. 11/02/11(Wed)23:28 No.16823538
    Do we know where terra is? and if so, reply:

    You mean (insert terra's location here)? No, but we would be willing to send a Delegate through via your own ships.
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)23:28 No.16823542

    Who said anything about going to earth. An official with the proper vested powers can meet up at this planet where we forged our alliance in shared, spilled blood, that we may better advance our civilisations.

    Well zerg psychic transmission is nigh instantaneous...
    >Zerg-Digital codex. Dozens of zerglings keying in 0s and 1s as they recieve data so that we have almost realtime data transmission across the cosmos.

    Gentlemen. We are going into the telecommunications industry.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/02/11(Wed)23:29 No.16823550
    Set up a neutral meeting site with a representative in oh, say three days.

    And start building the necessary relay buoys or satellites or whatever to get ZergTV to these poor, unentertained people.
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)23:33 No.16823581
    >we can't force the humans to watch Crazy Hassan infomercials yet
    Obviously this must become our next great project.

    Right after wiping out Dyles, of course.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/02/11(Wed)23:34 No.16823592
    "Fine. Three days. Here. You'd better expect to bicker with whoever they send, though. Making things legal is never any fun. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got decontamination protocols to carry out, here."

    The line cuts off. That was rude.

    It seems we have a date.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/02/11(Wed)23:36 No.16823606
    Setting up the necessary relay buoys to this area would take weeks, of course. Then, we would need a way to broadcast, here. Accountantbrate reminds us that we are terribly low on resources in UED space, already.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/02/11(Wed)23:38 No.16823619
    We should send a Dapperlord III and a Pauldronlisk Junior to accompany our representative.

    On the matter of our colonization efforts...?
    >> tROLL BRATE 11/02/11(Wed)23:39 No.16823628
    he listen
    I have an idea
    hey guys, what if
    what if
    we sent Kerrigen
    you know
    to negotiate
    awesome idea
    awesome , just like me
    lets do it guys
    come on, what could go wrong guys?
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)23:39 No.16823631
    You know, we should really invest more resources into fixing up Dagobah and Cyberbrate.
    Because remember the Starforge that we have, that VoidGate originally built?
    If we could make another one, then our resource problems in UED space would be alleviated.

    Does Accountantbrate agree?
    >> Lord Kobald !1jPEJ87kV. 11/02/11(Wed)23:40 No.16823641
    Tell accountbrate that we need to set up a colony in UED territory so we wont be so low on resources, and to get started on the relays since he volunteered.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/02/11(Wed)23:42 No.16823658
    Don't be stupid, it takes weeks to get to this planet and the meeting is in three days.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/02/11(Wed)23:45 No.16823686
    (We don't know how VoidGate built the thing, or exactly how it works. Also, Cyberbrate's up and running)

    (You're right. It's inspired!)

    (What colonization efforts? The first star system you hopped to was that UED world where you bro'd it up with Harris the Harrier)
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)23:48 No.16823710

    The expeditionary fleet should have a complement of drones.

    We need to scout for a suitable planet to colonised to establish an outpost.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/02/11(Wed)23:51 No.16823730
    (Yeah, but all we know of in UED space are the three or four UED worlds we've stumbled on/defended, the world we saw Dyles poisoning the atmosphere to, and Lutrious, which is our base of operations in the area. What are we colonizing?)
    >> Lord Kobald !1jPEJ87kV. 11/02/11(Wed)23:53 No.16823746
    Preferabbly one that is uninhabited/uninhabitable for humans but would be fine for us.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/02/11(Wed)23:54 No.16823748
    /tg/ ate my post. Fine, I hope you indigestion.

    I'm certain we discovered this planet as part of a, expansion effort to increase our foothold and resources in the area. I thought we sent 5-6 cloaklords with drones out and this was just the first planet where anything interesting happened.
    >> Anonymous 11/02/11(Wed)23:55 No.16823759
    Didn't we send other Overlords to nearby systems to scout for viability as resource collection systems?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/02/11(Wed)23:55 No.16823760
    (Really? I thought you just sent the one and happened to bump into Terrans on your first go)
    >> TUCAMP 11/02/11(Wed)23:58 No.16823778
    Explore a bit, map UED space, attack Dyles on sight, get another ridge scratcher.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/03/11(Thu)00:00 No.16823791
    You're right, we sent one cloaklord to a random world, it happened to be this one:

    >> Anonymous 11/03/11(Thu)00:00 No.16823794

    Also prep a second expeditionary unit and possible a third wave as well. Until our mining operations are up and running, our forces in the area will be stretched.

    2nd wave to move out immediately, 3rd reinforcement wave to move out sometime later.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/03/11(Thu)00:02 No.16823807
    (Guess it doesn't matter either way)
    Accountantbrate is pleased as two of our overlords stumble upon uninhabited worlds. It begins constructing Hive Clusters immediately. It asks if we intend to make one of them into a broadcast center, or if it can just begin sucking them dry of resources.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/11(Thu)00:02 No.16823808
    Leave Kerrigan out of this, if she is ever curious on this side of the galaxy we'll fill her in. What is she doing on her infested planet anyways?

    How is the Combine and the remaining Terran population doing?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/03/11(Thu)00:04 No.16823824
    It looks like she's digging in. Anybody attacking Umoja is in for a tough fight.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/11(Thu)00:04 No.16823825

    Whats stopping the planet from functioning as both?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/03/11(Thu)00:06 No.16823834
    Nothing, really. Accountantbrate just wants to know if it needs to set aside land and resources for infrastructure and start building or not.

    Though, it hastens to add, it's not like ZergTV has ever profited us...
    >> Lord Kobald !1jPEJ87kV. 11/03/11(Thu)00:07 No.16823838
    As best we can, both until we have a stable planet to use as our embassy.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/03/11(Thu)00:07 No.16823839
    I say grab as many resources as possible, we can hold off on a broadcast center until we have the resources to secure our foothold. Plus we still need to negotiate with the UED's FCC.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/11(Thu)00:09 No.16823863

    Propaganda is a wonderful tool. The loss of some resources for the relay is acceptable. If push comes to shove, ZergTV can influence public opinion and may make hostilities an unpopular choice if it really comes down to war with the UED.

    More understanding = less chance of outright war.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/03/11(Thu)00:13 No.16823892
    (Anybody disagree?)
    >> Anonymous 11/03/11(Thu)00:14 No.16823895
    Set up the broadcast center.
    Costs of investment: minimal.
    Rewards of propaganda victory: incalculable.
    >> timetravelbrate 11/03/11(Thu)00:18 No.16823918
    Which is exactly the reason we need to expand it! It's just not BIG enough yet! Economies of scale! Incentivize our paradigms!
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/03/11(Thu)00:30 No.16823982
    Accountantbrate grumbles slightly at the expense, but begins laying the foundations for a broadcast complex on one of the worlds. It re-routes one of the relay buoys. It estimates that we will be ready for limited broadcasting by the time the buoys are deployed.

    Have we got anything else to do before we send somebody to meet the UED?
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/03/11(Thu)00:32 No.16823991
    How's our colonization efforts at home? We should be on what, the fifth or sixth wave?
    >> Anonymous 11/03/11(Thu)00:33 No.16824006

    Sending cloaked scouts to look for Dylas in the interim.

    What are the morians up to?
    >> TUCAMP 11/03/11(Thu)00:35 No.16824021
    Look in the worldship database?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/03/11(Thu)00:35 No.16824024
    We've sort of come up against the Protoss colonization efforts in one direction. Rather than developing particularly strong colonies, Colonylord has focused more on claiming territory to keep the Protoss from fencing us in.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/03/11(Thu)00:43 No.16824085
    (No time for more Dyles this session)

    The Morian government is currently embroiled in a heated debate over incest. Particularly, whether laws regarding incest ought to be relaxed, considering humanity's recent near-extinction event.

    Nargil lets us know that the Koprulu Sector's laws concerning incest are already very light, and that their idea of "relaxing" those laws is pretty extreme.

    (You guys should figure out who you're sending to talk to the UED)
    >> Anonymous 11/03/11(Thu)00:43 No.16824090
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    Did somebody say.. GOOGLY EYES?

    >oneupp ante
    >> Anonymous 11/03/11(Thu)00:45 No.16824101
    >considering humanity's recent near-extinction event
    Wait, what? Really? Extrapolate, i don't recall this.
    Also, don't we/they have the gene-mod technology to fix degeneration issues? If so, they're golden.
    >> timetravelbrate 11/03/11(Thu)00:45 No.16824107
    Do we have time to custom-grow something?
    >> TUCAMP 11/03/11(Thu)00:46 No.16824109
    Just sent that overlord and call it good. As for the Morians incest debate, weigh in saying that "All love is good," and let them run with it.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/11(Thu)00:46 No.16824113
    I thought we were creating another Emissary for the UED talks; or can our human clones only be created under the care of Labbrate and his facilities?
    >> TUCAMP 11/03/11(Thu)00:47 No.16824116
    The Morians don't know about the UED, and are just down to a couple BILLION, how they will recover I do not know.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/11(Thu)00:48 No.16824122

    Can we rush paldronlisk over?

    We also need an honour guard. Any suggestions? How about an Ultralisk mount flanked by Hydralisk outriders?
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/03/11(Thu)00:49 No.16824128
    >incest debates

    What a surprise, coming from space rednecks and all.

    Anyways, I;m still pushing for Dapperlord III and Pauldronlisk Junior accompanying our infested terran Representative.

    We should also spawn a fingerling in a tuxedo.
    >> timetravelbrate 11/03/11(Thu)00:49 No.16824129
    Also, regarding the incest debate, a thought occurs...
    Could we offer fleshling waifus/husbandos to any who so desire, in an aid to repopulate the species and maintain genetic diversity?
    >> Anonymous 11/03/11(Thu)00:50 No.16824144
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    >fleshling waifus/husbandos
    Zerg Chobits?
    I guess if we tweaked Voidgate construction techniques...
    >> Anonymous 11/03/11(Thu)00:51 No.16824153
    I was thinking of offering our cloned humans as a way of mixing up genes by introducing lots of genetic material that might otherwise have been lost.
    Of course, there's the icky part about whether they're still going to be part of the Swarm, and if we should make them sapient or not.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/11(Thu)00:51 No.16824155
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    >offering fleshlings as mates
    >Fleshings males that cause death in most terran women
    >Fleshling females that CHOP OFF HEADS when they climax.

    >> TUCAMP 11/03/11(Thu)00:52 No.16824160
    But male fleshlings are sterile, and the females behead their partner on orgasm, and we don't have any.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/03/11(Thu)00:52 No.16824162
    Depends on what we want to grow.

    (They don't know about the UED, so when the Koprulu Terrans went from a couple dozen worlds full of trillions of people to two war-torn worlds housing around 20 billion people between the two, they considered it a near-extinction event. Proportionally, it's like if all of Earth was eradicated except for, like, Mexico. Nevermind that they're the result of all kinds of incest, anyway)
    >> Anonymous 11/03/11(Thu)00:54 No.16824175
    They could do that <can't remember country> post-war deal where a male can have more than one wife...
    >> timetravelbrate 11/03/11(Thu)00:55 No.16824176
    Okay so some tweaks to the design might be needed (though they're space rednecks, who knows what they're into...)
    Still, the idea is there, and it'd make them even further reliant on us for their survival. There could be no humans without at least a bit of Zerg in them left within a few generations!
    >> TUCAMP 11/03/11(Thu)00:58 No.16824192
    How would gynoids increase population growth and genetic diversity?
    >> Anonymous 11/03/11(Thu)01:00 No.16824208
    They wouldn't. It would mostly just keep the protesters busy.
    Besides, we could sell Zerg clone tanks.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/11(Thu)01:02 No.16824223
    zerg? pick an even more boring race please
    >> Anonymous 11/03/11(Thu)01:02 No.16824230

    They are technically our vassals now right?

    Perhaps we can gift them a nearby world for them to recolonise.
    >> timetravelbrate 11/03/11(Thu)01:03 No.16824237
    Seconding this btw. It might look too suspicious if we look like we already know a lot about humans, which showing up with a near-human emissary would do.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/11(Thu)01:04 No.16824239
    Accountantbrate wouldn't be happy.
    But really, whatevs.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/03/11(Thu)01:08 No.16824271
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    60 threads too late.

    (Pauldronlisk won't make it in time, pure and simple.)
    >> Anonymous 11/03/11(Thu)01:10 No.16824282

    How long will it take to breed a simulacrum in UED space?

    In the end its an extension of our mind. We just need to look fancy.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/03/11(Thu)01:10 No.16824288
    We can spawn another and get him outfitted in time though, couldn't we? And give him an Ultralisk mount and a Dapperlord III for transport, right?
    (I'm not giving up on this, dammit)
    >> Anonymous 11/03/11(Thu)01:13 No.16824305
    And since we can't allow TWO pauldronlisks to exist, we shall have them do a zerg-like Fusion-Ha upon our return!
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/03/11(Thu)01:15 No.16824328
    Creating a new Pauldron-bearing Zerg would be very easy, yes. We might even be able to Dapper up an overlord. We're not really sure how a hydralisk would ride an ultralisk, though, regardless of pauldrons.
    >> TUCAMP 11/03/11(Thu)01:16 No.16824339
    Fussion made me think of a Pauldchon.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/11(Thu)01:16 No.16824341

    Grow a saddle pauldron on its ass.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/03/11(Thu)01:19 No.16824364
    (But hydralisks don't have legs! They're all snakey on bottom)
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/03/11(Thu)01:19 No.16824372
    Rig up a saddle. Hell, you could glue a giant knob onto its back and he could just wrap around it like a snake. Since we don't want to appear too knowledgeable about humans, i suggest replacing the infested terran representative with a fingerling.
    >> timetravelbrate 11/03/11(Thu)01:20 No.16824375
    Very carefully.

    (Or, according to captcha, "rtisfug him")
    >> Anonymous 11/03/11(Thu)01:21 No.16824380

    Perhaps we should invent a new persona for the diplomat for the UED.

    We'll dress up a hydralisk in a business-suit with a tie and have various thumbling attendants who constantly chatter on headsets, glance around, and hand him important-looking documents from briefcases which he signs and they mill about.

    He will be flanked by two burly thumblings wearing sunglasses at all times.
    >> TUCAMP 11/03/11(Thu)01:21 No.16824385
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/03/11(Thu)01:26 No.16824421
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    Mkay, guys. I'm going to go ahead and hit the sack. Feel free to decide on what sort of hydralisk-on-a-stick and other bizarre ideas you want for the UED meet. I'll look over them before I start next time. You guys come up with the weirdest shit.


    See you next week (after which I'm buying Skyrim, so if the quest just disappears forever, you know what happened)
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/03/11(Thu)01:27 No.16824427
    Yeah, thumbling. Dunno where fingerling came from, but then I am pretty drunk
    >> Anonymous 11/03/11(Thu)01:28 No.16824438
    BLOODY BRILLIANT. Get accountant brate on this right away, I awnt productio centers up and running immediately to sell to the Unwary UED forces!

    A zerg made for masturbatory assistance?
    >> timetravelbrate 11/03/11(Thu)01:28 No.16824443
    We could put a costume on a Defiler this time. Nobody ever remembers the Defilers. Do we even still have Defilers?
    >> Lord Kobald !1jPEJ87kV. 11/03/11(Thu)01:30 No.16824452
    I like this idea. Except each briefcase must light up when opened, like a teleporter or trans-dimension thing.

    Make him Dapper though.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/11(Thu)01:36 No.16824493
    So if we make ourselves out to be hyper-advanced pseudo-flesh beings, that's the idea?
    >> Lord Kobald !1jPEJ87kV. 11/03/11(Thu)02:02 No.16824666

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