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    37 KB Zerg Quest LXI Cerebrate Anon 11/09/11(Wed)20:59 No.16900526  

    We are just finishing up the last few details on our new Diplofiler, a defiler in a business suit with conservative pauldrons and a very smart-looking briefcase. It was a chore evolving a defiler that could walk on its hind legs, but let it never be said that we're not devoted to our negotiators.

    The overlord we chose to escort Diplofiler is one we have dubbed Swankylord. While it has the same suit and top hat as Dapperlord and Dapperjunior, it also has a pocket watch and a very respectable moustache.

    We are ready for treaty and television licensing negotiations with the UED on Tantalus III.

    (Diplofiler picture unavailable due to complete lack of artistic talent)
    >> Aiden Pryde 11/09/11(Wed)21:01 No.16900547
    Alright, so whats happened with the whole Kingston issue, and can I get a summary of events or at least a timeline of what happened?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/09/11(Wed)21:03 No.16900559
    (Kingston? How far back you want me to go? VoidGate did most of the heavy lifting on Kingston...)
    >> Anonymous 11/09/11(Wed)21:04 No.16900569
    oh hey this is still going and I'm around to see it. I saw this quest on 1d4chan about a week or so ago and have been slowly devouring the archives.

    I'm only up to thread 25ish though so possibly I shouldn't participate in this one?

    >design ticierno
    Are we still naming new strains/cerebrates/overlords whathaveyou? Captcha wants a turn.
    >> Aiden Pryde 11/09/11(Wed)21:04 No.16900571
    I know we had him on the run, and I have been held back since where he did something to the zerg we sent down to get him...
    >> Anonymous 11/09/11(Wed)21:06 No.16900588
    Alright. I suppose we should get our psionic matrix in the game and get ready for some high-stakes negotiation.

    Of course, this will be a chance to shape how the UED perceives us, and to get a measure of their own internal structure.
    >> TUCAMP 11/09/11(Wed)21:09 No.16900613
    Turned into a giant brain, maybe, then we nuked him to death.

    And Diplofiler uses buzz words, BUZZ WORDS ALL THE TIME!
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/09/11(Wed)21:09 No.16900614
    He's dead. Period. We nuked his little escape craft in the middle of his smug speech. We're diplomancing with the UED after having helped them fight off another Dyles invasion of one of their worlds.

    I'm all for offering a military alliance with economic and cultural exchange. If they don't want to hop into bed with us right away, we can go for non-aggression pacts with mutual intelligence sharing on Dyles and permission to broadcast ZergTV minus any and all reference to Confederate humans (or are they Combine humans now?)
    >> Aiden Pryde 11/09/11(Wed)21:11 No.16900625
    Or they could just be citizens of the Swarm.

    We really need a better name for ourselves...
    >> TUCAMP 11/09/11(Wed)21:13 No.16900650
    They are the Morian Republic, a wholly owned subsidiary of Zerg LLC. So they're Morians.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/09/11(Wed)21:24 No.16900755
    (I'm not going to turn people away. A whole lot's changed in 35 threads, though. Your call)

    (Ah. Well, it turned out he had basically turned the infestation virus back on us, and was trying to become his own Overmind to steal the Swarm away from us. Unfortunately for him, we had robots and nukes. He is very, very dead)

    We feel ready to proceed, and Swankylord jumps toward Tantalus. Upon arriving, we are met by four wraiths who greet us formally and escort us to an office building. We see police cordons on the surrounding blocks, and notice a couple of snipers in nearby buildings, but no one appears immediately violent. As we draw near the surface, Swankylord lowers Diplofiler out of its passenger folds, and the upright defiler walks confidently toward the door.

    Inside, a terrified-looking man ushers us to an elevator to the 50th floor, where we find a group of men in business suits and two stern-looking military officers around a conference table.

    One of the men in suits introduces himself. "Welcome. I am Bruce Melville, the newly-appointed United Earth Directorate ambassador to the Zerg...group? Nation?"
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/09/11(Wed)21:30 No.16900811
    Diplofiler should speak like a used car salesman. And we should introduce ourselves as Zerg Swarm LLC, a Family Company. Aim high, go for a full on alliance with military and economic cooperation and free cultural exchange.
    >> TUCAMP 11/09/11(Wed)21:33 No.16900861
    Our goals in the negotiations, get ZergTV in to the UED, hunt down Dyles, and a non-aggression/interference pact.
    >> TUCAMP 11/09/11(Wed)21:35 No.16900874
    Or should we go with a PLC, and let the average UED citizen buy shares in the Swarm?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/09/11(Wed)21:37 No.16900899
    (But the only currency they have that would really mean anything is their minds...Oh!)
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/09/11(Wed)21:37 No.16900909
    I'm...not even sure how that would work, but it would undoubtedly be hilarious
    >> Anonymous 11/09/11(Wed)21:38 No.16900916
    I'm liking the sound of that.
    >> Anonymous 11/09/11(Wed)21:46 No.16900992
    Ah gooood, finally a zerg quest where everything functions for me perfectly! No captcha troubles (yet) and no 4chan self-ddoses (yet)
    Here's to an enterprising and productive night of genome-subversive warfare!

    Also cerebrate anon, I bring you this from my travels on youtube:
    let's make accountantbrate squeeeeal like a...a...zerg I guess.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/09/11(Wed)21:51 No.16901032
    Diplofiler puts out its best used car salesman voice.

    "The Swarm, sir. The Zerg Swarm. You can call me Diplofiler. It's a pleasure to meet you, and all of your fine associates. I'm here to talk to you about an assortment of things, but first I want to offer the Directorate and its people the offer of a lifetime. ZergTV is a network we've been broadcasting for some time. We've got all sorts of programs, ranging from instructive and fun shows for the little child-humans all the way up to the complex Murder, She Hissed crime drama for the older crowd. It's a great value as-is, but with all this fine programming, we're planning to roll out a second network just to house some of this great television! You'd be depriving your species of a hit network and a great family value by not carrying this network!"

    Melville looks slightly overwhelmed by the speech, but interested. "How...what kind of payment would you need for this?"
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/09/11(Wed)21:53 No.16901054
    (It's beautiful!)
    >> Anonymous 11/09/11(Wed)21:55 No.16901065
    Minerals. Delicious minerals.

    Technology exchange is nice too. Nothing military, but I am sure they have some spiffy trinkets they should give us the schematics for so we can spin them off for our fellow zerg.
    >> TUCAMP 11/09/11(Wed)21:56 No.16901072
    We'd sell ad space on it. True they're mostly Zerg products as a way of distributing spores... or something.
    >> Anonymous 11/09/11(Wed)21:58 No.16901088
         File1320893939.jpg-(34 KB, 500x395, 1320307259653.jpg)
    34 KB

    >Murder She Hissed

    Oh fuck me I remember that show. Mother watched it all the time. Wasn't actually all that bad.
    >> TUCAMP 11/09/11(Wed)21:59 No.16901090
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/09/11(Wed)21:59 No.16901096
    Technology, especially anything that could be of use in fighting Dyles (wink wink) would be appropriate as an initial set-up fee with monthly or bi-monthly subscriptions paid in raw resources
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/09/11(Wed)22:03 No.16901122
    >Technology, then minerals. Sweet, sweet minerals: 2
    >I'll gladly give you a television network Tuesday if you give me a muffin today: 1
    >> Anonymous 11/09/11(Wed)22:05 No.16901131
    Should we be charging anything? It's more a creative (and propaganda, shhh don't tell) outlet for us anyway. Keep it as part of the larger negotiation package, a way to make the non-aggression pact deal sweeter
    >> Anonymous 11/09/11(Wed)22:06 No.16901139
    Also voting for technology then minerals.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/09/11(Wed)22:08 No.16901159
    We're going to be broadcasting ZergTV in UED space regardless of whether or not they approve of it. This way we get something more tangible out of it
    >> TUCAMP 11/09/11(Wed)22:11 No.16901185
    Don't forget the vespene gas, for we require more.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/09/11(Wed)22:25 No.16901301
    "Not to worry, my friend. We've got a flexible payment plan that anybody can live with! For a small, small monthly fee of just a couple hundred units of crystals and gas, we're willing to provide this service to all of your constituents. There's a down-payment of a bit of non-military technology to ease the transition and keep us up and running in this competitive climate, but it's a steal, really. You simply can't find entertainment like this anywhere else."

    "Well," he begins, "I don't think anybody could object to that price, depending on what designs you're looking for..."

    We're fairly certain we've got him hook, line, and sinker.

    "But where would we deliver these resources to? Do you have a base of operations nearby?"
    >> TUCAMP 11/09/11(Wed)22:28 No.16901335
    Well pick them up from the planet we're on now, then take the to luminescence ourselves.
    >> Anonymous 11/09/11(Wed)22:29 No.16901343
         File1320895774.jpg-(4 KB, 300x57, oprobly veg.jpg)
    4 KB
    >>I'll gladly give you a television network Tuesday if you give me a muffin today: 1

    damn it CA now I wish we had a drawfag in this thread. Popeye cast as zerg, hell yeah. NEW ZERGTV SHOW

    Unfortunately I am not voting this way. Not only can we always use new tech, but if the UEF have heard any stories of zerg, they think of them as creepy hollywood fleshbased eaty machines, especially the general public. To see us using technology in very similar fashion wipes out a lot of the uncanny valley species barrier, looks be damned. Also if they have a nice ghost program going we could probably trade info for that (because psychic stuff is way more important to us than terrans) and get our research to, excuse the pun, super Nova on the side.

    also I doubt either of these options sounds very vegetarian captcha.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/09/11(Wed)22:33 No.16901384
    We should have them drop the materials at the site of our broadcast colony. They'll figure out where that one is soon enough and we'll know where they're concentrating their scouts and observers that they will undoubtedly send to monitor
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/09/11(Wed)22:39 No.16901443
    Oh, and since we mentioned staying competitive in the broadcast market we should see about getting some of their communications technology. It might give us a more effective way to bring ZergTV to the masses and we could sell the tech to our Koprulu subsidiaries for a tidy profit.
    >> Anonymous 11/09/11(Wed)22:41 No.16901458
    Is it just me or have the last few threads consisted of us accomplishing exactly one thing and then Cerebrate Anon leaves?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/09/11(Wed)22:45 No.16901498
    (BFZ suggests we give them the broadcast center's location and ask for communications technology. Anybody else have suggestions, or are we going with that?)

    (Sorry! Coming up with challenges for a hundred-star-system-wide empire of hyperevolved insectoid monsters is hard)
    >> Anonymous 11/09/11(Wed)22:48 No.16901535
    I agree with telling them to drop it off at the broadcast colony.
    It's not like they can't tell where it is, considering that it's broadcasting 24/7.
    Might as well have them drop it off there.
    >> TUCAMP 11/09/11(Wed)22:52 No.16901569
    No it's not, the current challenge is SUDDENLY A ROUGE DYLES APPEARS! And we're going to slowly deal with that for 10-20 treads.
    >> EnthusiasmBrate 11/09/11(Wed)22:54 No.16901582
    No worries Anon! The universe is a big place, and the korpulu sector itself is always very busy, I'm sure you wont have too much trouble coming up with new threats.

    My vote goes toward having them bring the payment to the broadcasting station. That way they can get a good look at it and see its actually for transmitting television and not say, mind eating meme-tic signals. Its just an all around good idea as far as I can tell!
    >> Anonymous 11/09/11(Wed)22:58 No.16901619
    Hm...mind-eating memetatic signals...
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/09/11(Wed)23:01 No.16901646
    We give the location of our mostly-constructed broadcasting station. The military officers both take particular note of the coordinates.

    (We still need to figure out which technology we want from them!)
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/09/11(Wed)23:05 No.16901675
    Communications tech, then move on to the meat of the negotiations: potential alliance. Things should go smoothly, judging how by how well our business deal went
    >> Anonymous 11/09/11(Wed)23:05 No.16901677
    I'm interested in their communications technology.
    We have the cover of it being for improving compatibility with our own ZergTV transmissions, and it helps us to understand their communication infrastructure, all the better to infiltrate it and suck down their information for SIGINT analysis.
    >> TUCAMP 11/09/11(Wed)23:06 No.16901683
    Point out that we stumbled apon it, started negotiations, but that then toads don decided they were tired of talking.
    >> Anonymous 11/09/11(Wed)23:07 No.16901696
    Can we ask Accountantbrate to allocate those resources toward nice, friendly civilian activities? They're bound to hide some homing beacons with the minerals, we don't want them tracked all the way to Nukeworld.
    >> EnthusiasmBrate 11/09/11(Wed)23:08 No.16901702
    We should request the blueprints for a more cheap and effective broadcasting device than what we currently use, if they have any. We need to supply all of terran space with our programs, and that requires something substantially more powerful or at least effective than crude radio relays like we currently use and certaintly more cheap than dedicated transmitting space platforms!

    We should be efficient in our cultural domination of the UED to maximize profit!
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/09/11(Wed)23:08 No.16901703
    (That's Lutrious. They don't know about that, yet)
    >> Anonymous 11/09/11(Wed)23:08 No.16901709
    Good point. Seconded for this.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/09/11(Wed)23:11 No.16901721
    Those resources will likely stay on planet and be processed there, which means any tracking device will be found or at least won't survive processing. Besides, it's a fairly insignificant amount of material; the payments are mostly a symbol to legitimize our business deal and act as a show of good faith between us to further future negotiations.
    >> TUCAMP 11/09/11(Wed)23:14 No.16901757
    I figured they did, because of the whole it was a UED listening post.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/09/11(Wed)23:16 No.16901773
    If anything they probably presume Dyles took it when it stopped responding to them.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/09/11(Wed)23:22 No.16901822
    Melville graciously agrees to provide us with communications blueprints. Labbrate doubts they will have much more advanced means of communication than we already have at our disposal, but it can't hurt anything. If nothing else, it will allow us to build trust with the Terrans.

    With that concluded, we move smoothly to the military negotiations.

    "Now, I don't want to tell you how to run your business, but it seems like we've got a mutual concern about this amphibian parasite species. It seems like we ought to work together to destroy it, before it tries to destroy the both of us. What do you say?"

    One of the military men steps forward. "I can personally vouch for their effectiveness in combat," he says. It's clearly the terse voice we heard over the radio when we set up this meeting in the first place. His uniform's patch reads "SAGAN." He is wearing a general's rank insignia.

    "Be that as it may," begins a woman in a business suit, "we cannot authorize a joint military endeavor with a species we've only just encountered. No offense to the Zerg, but for all we know, they're just another species the parasites have conquered. Just another way to devour humanity."
    >> TUCAMP 11/09/11(Wed)23:27 No.16901870
    Take offense at that accusation that we parasites, and point out that we're far older than Dyles.Also "joint" coul mean the UED saying "go here, kill."
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/09/11(Wed)23:28 No.16901872
    Barring a critical success, it doesn't sound like we're going to get an alliance. Propose a non-aggression treaty where we can exchange pertinent military intelligence. As long as we don't have the UED actively working against us we should have a pretty good shot at bringing down Dyles. We should also see about possibly getting an embassy on one of their worlds to expedite future dealings
    >> Anonymous 11/09/11(Wed)23:41 No.16902020
    I agree with the non-aggression treaty, and a non-interference treaty (I remember it was mentioned last time, but I don't remember if it was ratified).
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/09/11(Wed)23:43 No.16902043
    "Now, we take offense, I say, we take offense to that, ma'am. We are not parasites, and we've never been conquered by anyone, much less an upstart bunch of tadpoles. Now, we're offering to help burn these critters off of your worlds. If you want to turn down that help, so be it, but you ought to at least consider it an option. But, if we must settle for a non-aggression pact, so be it. We can't force you into anything, after all."

    One of the suited men addresses the woman. "Come off it, Michelle. You've seen the reports. The Entity has infected 38 perce--"

    "PARKS!" shouts Sagan. "That information is not for public consumption!"

    The man looks abashed, but continues. "Regardless, we need a new strategy. I don't see why we shouldn't consider an alliance."

    (Roll yourself a d12 to see how this business goes)
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/09/11(Wed)23:46 No.16902069
    rolled 5 = 5

    >> EnthusiasmBrate 11/09/11(Wed)23:47 No.16902086
    Hmmm. It seems Dyles has been getting a great deal more tricky since we last saw him and now he is attempting a variety of stealth measures. We should probably make clear how distant we are from Dyles in that ... Oh wait. We started as a very Dyles like lifeform didn't we?

    According to the old starcraft manuals the zerg are from Zerus and before the Xel'naga gifted us with conciousness in the form of the overmind we were essentially parasites that latched onto the spines of different creatures and took control of them. Yea we need to not mention any of our history beyond the last 10 years to them because I would be really suspicious too.

    Uhhh... Bribe them? Ask them if they know anything about a AI called Voidgate?

    Also this might be a little bit off track but could we see what Gorn is up to/find out exactly how much of of diplomatic action he has found out about? Because speaking honestly I expect him and Nargil to form a splinter brood anytime now both with how messed up their attitudes are and how we have had a history of disobedience with them.
    >> EnthusiasmBrate 11/09/11(Wed)23:48 No.16902102
    rolled 3 = 3

    Here goes nothing and a little something...
    >> TUCAMP 11/09/11(Wed)23:49 No.16902113
    rolled 11 = 11

    d12s today?
    >inquisicion, penedtt
    I did not expect it
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/09/11(Wed)23:50 No.16902129
    Gorn has found some relative success managing a brutal deathmatch show for ZergTV. Artisanlord constantly has to nerf the show to keep it from just being hours and hours of horrible televised torture porn, but even the slight violence seems to be keeping Gorn satisfied.
    >> Anonymous 11/09/11(Wed)23:56 No.16902195
    rolled 5, 5 = 10

    >>"Be that as it may," begins a woman in a business suit, "we cannot authorize a joint military endeavor with a species we've only just encountered. No offense to the Zerg, but for all we know, they're just another species the parasites have conquered. Just another way to devour humanity."

    This suddenly makes me wish we had a Captain Ame-...Amoria? infected of some kind. Seriously just had the mental image when that reporter woman was berating Cap.

    only a hundred? The Ur-Quan had 870-something at their height! The Gazurtoid 644! And nearly all their worlds would be inhospitable to US! We are but fledglinglings in the grand schemes of universal domination, FLEDGLINGLINGS!!!!

    If this goes wrong, I doubt it will start a shooting war right off. Military guy seems practical if stereotypically arseholey drill sarge. I say we explain any faux pas as having had to learn human culture from afar and from beyond guns and radio/tv waves lacking context, it's all that dratted Kingston's fault! We're socially maladjusted but our Morian compadres are helping us get it together slowly.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/10/11(Thu)00:00 No.16902237
    (The d12 gets no love. I believe I once read something from WotC about how they felt like they never used the d12, so they would periodically go through the stuff they produced and replace some dice rolls with d12s, because your d12s are so goddamn lonely)

    After about 45 minutes of arguing, urging, and pleading, the humans and Diplofiler finally agree to a non-aggression treaty, but that the Terrans will inform us of the locations of planets that they have lost for the purposes of military action. It's strongly implied by the Terrans that an alliance may be renegotiated once we've shown that we're genuinely hostile to Dyles.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/10/11(Thu)00:03 No.16902269
    (I'm going to go ahead and remind you for free that the UED doesn't know about the Koprulu Sector Terrans' happy funtime near-apocalypse at the hands of the Zerg and their AI sort-of-ally. Not that I'm going to stop you from saying something stupid, but you should really ask yourself how that will sound...)
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/10/11(Thu)00:03 No.16902274
    Do we actually know the locations of any compromised worlds? If so I say we send some cloaklords and get ready to hit one, preferably one not near our colonies.
    >> TUCAMP 11/10/11(Thu)00:07 No.16902317
    rolled 4 = 4

    But they don't now that VoidGate was with us, so really we just took pitty on the poor creatures blah blah blah. Incase we do have to justify at some point.
    >> EnthusiasmBrate 11/10/11(Thu)00:09 No.16902339
    rolled 54 = 54

    Well then! Thats settled! Time to kick in for a full war footing! Ask in with cyberbrate and our resident labrate to find out how far along the development of our zerglek infrastructure is. While we are doing that, all of our active zergleks along with our carriers and mantalisks should be shipped out to the planet that had the largest population pre-Dyles. We want to show them we mean business, then we have to deal a swift and brutal blow to that bastard asap!

    No time for careful assessment with this one, we need to just jump right into it so we have an action point to start on now and finish next week.
    >> Anonymous 11/10/11(Thu)00:13 No.16902371
    hmm...if we get communications tech....and we link up to the earth networks...link Gorn to 4chan! Bwuahaha.
    either hitting the fourth war will explode his, erm, brain, into putty and allow us to scrape him back into the fold and make him a mite less killy, or he'll get lost in the world of /b/ and gurochan and we'll never hear of him again until he's grown to be a threat to all known life in the universe. Either way, winwin. (next awesome series villain or more controllable pitbull! :D)
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/10/11(Thu)00:23 No.16902448
    We're currently only producing one zerglek every couple of days. The biological components are easy, but Cyberbrate is cautious about overworking the machinery, seeing as it's so complex.

    There are currently 7 in UED space.

    We can certainly assault a planet if you like. Mintaka V was a major population center (95 billion) before it fell. We can choose another planet if you want.

    (Also, you're all done with the meeting, then?)
    >> Anonymous 11/10/11(Thu)00:24 No.16902454
    They know at least that they sent convicts out that way ages ago and it turned out to be teeming with alien life. They can finish connecting the dots I'm sure. Nothing says we have to be upfront with anything other than a crazy dictator wanted to troll us hard.
    (I temp forgot those previous UEDs were all UEdyles, thought they had some minor scouting info)
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/10/11(Thu)00:29 No.16902500
    See about getting an embassy for future deals, then see about scouting some smaller worlds away from our territory for potential invasion. And we should send more assets from the Koprulu sector. Things are pretty calm over there, so all of our forces are pretty much doing jack squat while we're looking at taking on 2/5ths of the UED with a handful of colonies.

    No mentioning the Confederacy, Kingston, the Republic or infested terrans to the UED. If they don't bring it up, we don't bring it up.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/10/11(Thu)00:29 No.16902501
    (Well, since I broke off the plot before the UED came in, you still don't know if the UED was aware of the Koprulu folks. They know a lot of convicts, mutants, cyborgs, and other FILTH were shipped off to start a colony and never returned. Mmmmaybe they knew about the Confederates and never said anything, like in the Blizzard canon. Mmmmmmaybe they didn't.)
    >> EnthusiasmBrate 11/10/11(Thu)00:33 No.16902526
    rolled 62 = 62

    Yes yes. Unless the other anons want to discuss something I say we have Businesswear Defiler or whatever silly thing we named it sign the paperwork and get the hell outta dodge.

    Send the zergleks to this Mintaka V with whatever we have in the general area. So all the of the forces we sent to aid the General and then send a very generous assembly from our holdings in the korpulu sector proper. While the latter may not arrive for any real help with what we will immediately encounter at Mintaka V we need to have reinforcments en rout ahead of time because we wont be able to take them in on demand like we have come to enjoy.

    I would suggest sending a nuke loaded battlecruiser with the reinforcements too but the terrans would recognize the construction no doubt while they would not have that issue with carriers.
    >> TUCAMP 11/10/11(Thu)00:33 No.16902530
    Let's investigate it first. BY anychace did they specify what they're looking for after cleansing a planet? If not, we strip it.
    >> Anonymous 11/10/11(Thu)00:42 No.16902608
    Send a cloaked Overlord to the Mintaka system, see what kinds of planetary defenses we're going to be dealing with.
    Once we know that, we can plan an attack.
    >> EnthusiasmBrate 11/10/11(Thu)00:42 No.16902610
    rolled 90 = 90

    Clearing a planet of Dyles usually amounts to nuclear annihilation or glassing, so either way we will be running into this with the big guns locked and loaded when it comes time to take the planet. We are not obligated to leave the terrans anything. After we have stomped those rodents out like the effective genocide machines we are we should strip mine everything of even moderate value from its steaming half molten body.

    Also scouting is silly. Real generals take full advantage of the element of surprise and the longer we take for intel gathering and force assembly the better chance the Dyles has of finding out what we are up to.

    The only good frog is a fried frog as they say.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/10/11(Thu)00:44 No.16902628
    While Diplofiler is signing papers (and double-signing. And triple-signing. And initialing. And writing the date. And signing. And waiting for its signature to be notarized. And waiting for the notarization to be notarized. In triplicate), we send a cloaked overlord to Mintaka to check out the situation.

    What we discover is a world that, without severe, dedicated, expensive terraforming, will never again support human life. Its atmosphere is thick with acidic compounds, and its biosphere has been replaced with a dense near-global swamp. We detect life. Lots of life. So much life, it's not even funny. There are three orbital platforms building and servicing a large fleet of ships. This will be a hard nut to crack.
    >> Anonymous 11/10/11(Thu)00:47 No.16902654
         File1320904067.jpg-(17 KB, 247x204, fullretard.jpg)
    17 KB
    rolled 17 = 17


    >real generals don't scout

    That's how people stumble into ambushes you know, and with the Dyles entity having the apparent success that it seems to (not to mention our lack of overtly disposable troops), we need to take careful, calculated steps.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/10/11(Thu)00:49 No.16902671
    >Dyles having apparent success

    It IS a former PC, after all!

    Also, completely off-topic, if you haven't watched DBZ Abridged, you really should: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uX6ctwotYmo&feature=related
    >> Anonymous 11/10/11(Thu)00:51 No.16902686

    Calmly inform them that you are just going to go ahead and turn that planet in to a molten rock, if they ask why, list the reasons in a calm decisive tone. Then send in some ships and a good host of vanguard to glass that planet and any in the immediate vicinity.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/10/11(Thu)00:52 No.16902705
    ...Inform Dyles that we're going to attack?
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/10/11(Thu)00:54 No.16902732

    What does Warbrate estimate our chances of victory to be with our current forces? We should also be sending cloaklords to some of the less populated worlds. I don't think we've ever invaded a Dyles-held planet and it would be better to try out an invasion on something less fortified
    >> Anonymous 11/10/11(Thu)00:54 No.16902734

    The UED diplomants and Generals, duh. We don't know if they even know the planet is under Dyles' corruption.
    >> EnthusiasmBrate 11/10/11(Thu)00:57 No.16902763
    rolled 2 = 2

    I think he means the terrans. Also, I am loving that anons initiative. Glassing is always the right answer.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/10/11(Thu)01:00 No.16902790
    No, we don't tell the UED w're attacking and we don't attack unless we have a good chance of success. If we fail, and we probably will, considering our limited forces in the area, we look weak to the UED and we waste our opportunity to surprise him
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/10/11(Thu)01:01 No.16902795
    (Ah. That makes a lot more sense. They know. I guess I should have said, but we got this planet from their tactical data on their lost worlds)

    Warbrate is worried about the air battle. We have no idea what kind of a fight we can expect from the platforms themselves (it reminds us that just because the Koprulu Terrans didn't have very many active defenses on their platforms doesn't mean these Terrans don't), and there are a lot of ships, with an unknown number of reinforcements...but it is especially concerned with the planet itself. If we try to land troops, our losses might become enemies.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/10/11(Thu)01:03 No.16902811
    Fuck this planet, look for something smaller that we might have success with
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/10/11(Thu)01:07 No.16902861
    (Everybody for letting Mintaka go, then?)
    >> TUCAMP 11/10/11(Thu)01:08 No.16902869
    Nuke the platforms and the ships, stealthfully, then blockade the planet and mop up with zergleks and terminators. Just because it can't support human life doesn't mean we have to turn it into a molten rock that we can't strip.
    >> Anonymous 11/10/11(Thu)01:09 No.16902877
    >>Uhhh... Bribe them? Ask them if they know anything about a AI called Voidgate?
    enthusiasmbrate, so enthusiastic he's teleported into the past and forgot I already committed a similar error!
    88 miles an hour of enthusiastic exuberance!
    >> Anonymous 11/10/11(Thu)01:10 No.16902882

    No. Burn it into space dust.
    >> EnthusiasmBrate 11/10/11(Thu)01:13 No.16902901
    rolled 84 = 84

    annihilate everything. At any cost. No retreat. No surrender. No common sense. Only mild optimism and quiet fortitude.
    >> Anonymous 11/10/11(Thu)01:15 No.16902926
    We'll have to let it go for now, until our resources in UED space are better supplied.
    We still only have 1 production planet that's barely up to capacity yet; we can't sustain an attack on a heavily fortified planet like this.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/10/11(Thu)01:18 No.16902949
    Burn it: 2
    Burn something more our size: 2
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/10/11(Thu)01:19 No.16902961
    We don't have terminators. You want us to secretly blow up all of their ships and orbital defenses with the very limited number of nukes we have available, then blockade the planet with our very limited aerospace assets while our 7 zergleks "mop up" the entire goddamn planet. Great plan.
    >> Anonymous 11/10/11(Thu)01:22 No.16902986
    You know that our primary Nuke World is 3 weeks away by Warp travel? And that our local Nuke World isn't operational yet?
    >> TUCAMP 11/10/11(Thu)01:23 No.16902989
    Something more our size.
    >> EnthusiasmBrate 11/10/11(Thu)01:29 No.16903035
    rolled 24 = 24

    We have around 200 nukes in our assets at my last count. I would hardly call that very few.
    >> Anonymous 11/10/11(Thu)01:31 No.16903044

    Actually that "last count" was a fuck of a long time ago, and since our Nuke World was popping those things out at a near-constant rate I'd say we are in the 700-900 range now.
    >> Anonymous 11/10/11(Thu)01:33 No.16903055
    All of which are back in the Koprulu Sector, several weeks away.
    >> Anonymous 11/10/11(Thu)01:34 No.16903065
    been thar. Watching Geobreeders instead!
    Also a crapton of various fluttershy screaming vids. Why did I lol so hard at the MGS one?

    I don't think UED knows about our 'toss ships?
    Might be a good idea not to glass, nuke the obvious Dyles population centers, hit the shipyards, strap bombs to our ground units so they can't be turned, and send them in to scout the tunnels. Once we have a good picture of the underground tunnel systems we can make them fry like a Virginian coal mine.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/10/11(Thu)01:34 No.16903068
    We scrounge through the files and Betelgeuse VI, which had a population of about 25 billion that fell relatively recently. A scout overlord finds a planet late in the process of atmospheric conversion. Freighters are idling in the upper atmosphere as corrosive gases are pumped into the air around them. Others are dropping a large assortment of transplanted lifeforms into areas that have a high density of the new atmosphere.

    There is only one orbital platform here, servicing a much smaller fleet. Warbrate warns that we still can't be sure whether Dyles will bring in ships from outside the system, though.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/10/11(Thu)01:35 No.16903077

    I'm sure we have a few nukes available locally. The point is we don't have the resources or assets available to just up and throw everything we have at a heavily fortified world and expect to survive, let alone win.
    >> Anonymous 11/10/11(Thu)01:37 No.16903086

    But we've done that like what? 20 times now?
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/10/11(Thu)01:41 No.16903108
    Well damn. At this point we should probably focus on building up and bringing reinforcements in from the Koprulu sector. As it is we're liable to just lose whatever force we send to any of his worlds. They're connected by a hive mind so trying to feint won't work because all of his forces will instantly know when his worlds are under attack.

    Hmm. Maybe we're going about this all wrong. Getting into a slugfest with Dyles is a bad idea because he's currently bigger and stronger than us. We should play smart and sneaky. We should send a force to capture samples of the parasites so we can look for some weakness we can exploit.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/10/11(Thu)01:46 No.16903134
    Every time we've done that we had a closer parity of forces and still lost almost everything anyways. This war is going to go badly if all we do is throw units at our enemy and hope it does more damage to them than the waste does to us
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/10/11(Thu)01:50 No.16903159
    (So, you're against attacking Betelgeuse?)
    >> Big Fat Zergling 11/10/11(Thu)02:00 No.16903234
    I want us to attack the planet, but only as a feint, we're actually after those freighters. We disable at least one, grab it with some cloaklords and have them warp to different location. Whatever else we send is going to have to be sacrificed at the battle to keep any of their ships from following our capture team(s) for as long as possible.

    Our cloaklords are to bring any captured freighters to a predetermined random meeting point where we will have our zergleks and other boarding forces capture as many specimens as possible for study. We need to find a weakness to exploit, or failing that, we at least need to know our enemy's abilities.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/10/11(Thu)02:00 No.16903235
    (If you're havin' frog problems, I feel bad for you, son. I've got 99 problems, and a Dyles ain't one)
    >> Cerebrate Anon 11/10/11(Thu)02:16 No.16903356
         File1320909412.jpg-(86 KB, 400x886, 457acf84_8f37_cc21.jpg)
    86 KB
    Alright, well, it looks like most of you have gone to bed or begun some intense, non-Zerg fapping (because I don't want to believe that you fap to giant insects. I just don't). I suppose we can see if you're going to wuss out on hitting Dyles or decide to an hero suicide charge next week.


    I hope some of you take time from Skyrim to come.

    Remember, no quest Thanksgiving week. I'll be at work, slaving away into the night.
    >> Anonymous 11/10/11(Thu)02:55 No.16903632
    Well, as a "We managed something this week" kinda thing, can we set labrate on figuring out a way that could cut off a chunk of the Diles hivemind like Psydisrupters do to us.
    >> Anonymous 11/10/11(Thu)03:26 No.16903770
    This is /tg/
    If we aren't fapping to Zerg, we're fapping to Thri-Kreen or Tyranids!
    Oooh baby, those biotitans are something else! (actually I wasn't expecting everyone else to quit, I went to the Jokerthread)

    I am also for feinting, but still not for glassing. UED should stay out of 'toss matters for as long as possible. Even if they would help take out those wacko space nuts (I mean the enclave itself, we'd likely play coy and talk with Khas elsewhere and in our best MacFarlane voice go 'Oh Noooo, oh can you believe it, of all the chance, I mean those naughty terrans go and blow up your homeworld while you're here talking to innocent ol' us?') I would hate to think about Terra getting their hands on 'toss tech. They would reverse engineer that shit and we'd lose something to trade at them + lose our tech edge at the same time. Also they would probably glass Earth before we could suck up Australia and quintuple our lethality.

    I want to keep Dyles from moving between worlds by thinking we're going to take the hardest ones first. Then we turn the lesser defended ones into perpetually burning mines so's we earn our cred with the earthmen. We should start by blackjacking the shaggy bug-haired guy in the pinstripes. The atmosphere activity gives us good nuking points to start with.
    >> Anonymous 11/10/11(Thu)03:36 No.16903810
    also I think we can do the freighter thing easily enough and STILL burn out the planet. Unless our missiles recently grew arms and are asking for boarding permission rights. They haven't, have they? You can't tell with this crazy Voidgate tech.
    I mean, all these 'brates, all these specialised troops, and we're not supposed to be able to handle two things at once? That's a little odd if you ask me, especially for a hivemind.

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