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    38 KB EVO Quest VIII Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)20:29 No.16921187  
    You are not quite sure what you are. The sunfangs call you the Guardian of the Earth and their deity... but you know that you are no god.

    You started out as an overgrown cave salamander. Unlike most other creatures, though, you are still evolving, changing, and mutating, and can actually tap into the power of 1) THE MYSTERIOUS TIME STREAM, and 2) crystals that, when ingested, make you stronger, but kill everything else.

    You have just finished moving into the elven woodfolk's conquered village... by rolling a meteor right on top of it. And you may have also broken the back of the woodfolk as a PEOPLE, come to think of it.

    The world is your oyster, you magnificent salamander you.

    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)20:30 No.16921201
         File1321061428.jpg-(626 KB, 3000x2368, 1319935549654.jpg)
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    - All decisions are made with d40 rolls.
    - Evolutions/mutations only take occur when
    Calming Aura, Lvl. 5
    > Can fire in pulses; stuns.
    Biomancy, Lvl. 7
    > Can alter any living bio-organic material. Also, plasma beams.
    > Three permanent changes to any living organism before explosion.
    Necromancy, Lvl. 4
    > Dominion over 3 undead at a time.
    > 1) Aazz, 2) Bearex, 3) Cerebus
    Shapeshifting/Body Sculpting, Lvl. 2
    > Transformation into last creature eaten/parasited.
    Shadow Travel Lvl. 2
    > Instantaneous teleportation through shadows. Small range.
    - 8 Eyes
    - Parasitic Mouth Hooks +2 (+PROJECTILE PARASITES)
    - Jaw Strength +1
    - Sticky Rope Tongue
    - Brain +3
    - Draconic Wings Lvl. 2
    - Muscle Mass +1 (3 ft)
    - Whiplash Tail
    - Titanium Web Spinners OF LIFE
    - Rending Claws
    - Retractable Limbs
    - 6 Limbs
    - Mantis Shrimp Punches
    Starfall; Mouth Laser; Geomancy
    1 Yellow; 1 Red; 1 Blue
    Aazz: Former Chieftain, current wraith.
    >Upgrade: KING OF CLUBS
    Bearex: T-Rex skull with bear skull. Your champion.
    >Upgrade: Armor+1
    Cerebus: Wolf skeleton.
    >Shoots bees from shoulder-mounted web cannons.
    >Piloted by tiny lizard skeletons.
    Razz: Leafdancer. Your Godspoken.
    Seventeen: Forgeslug.
    >Upgrade: Living Artillery/Metalsmith Repair

    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)20:31 No.16921210
    rolled 32 = 32


    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)20:31 No.16921214
         File1321061516.jpg-(477 KB, 3000x2000, 1320120294683.jpg)
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    You stand tall (i.e. not very) on top of Sunfang Meteor, which hangs suspended over the gigantic mining pit that once belonged to the woodfolk. It goes without saying that the pit, along with the rest of the settlement, now belongs to you and your followers, the sunfangs.

    You look down at the sunfangs- most of them are scurrying around, split between celebrating their victory and prepping the Meteor for actual habitation. There are a few woodfolk mixed in with your followers, those who chose to throw off the crystal-favored's rule (and also chose not to die horribly).

    ... and you get to thinkin'.

    For whatever reason, the woodfolk completely neglected to mine out the valuable ores inside the pit. Also, the largest building in the village has a mysterious device that teleports people up to the northern mountains, and to the gigantic disc that's half-buried in the dirt. Finally, the Woodfolk Tribe seems to have one remaining village... but you HAVE been thinking about getting in contact with the actual Forgeslug tribe.

    ... more importantly, you still have no goddamn clue where the woodfolk have taken the many, many crystals that they supposedly stole from the sunfangs. You know, those wondrous little things that are deadly to almost everyone, but give power boosts to the very rare "crystal-favored"; you PROBABLY count as one, except you 1) are not a woodfolk, and 2) do not worship some god named "Bolbox."

    You know of the actual gods- oh, do you EVER know of the actual motherfucking gods- and you are damn sure that Bolbox is not one of them.

    ... now. What to do?

    (Highest of 1d40 rolls)
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)20:33 No.16921229
    rolled 35 = 35

    Preemptive 'dick around with shadow travel' command.

    Can't wait to teleport onto motherfuckers' necks and shit.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)20:38 No.16921280
    rolled 10 = 10

    Check in with allies and whatnot.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)20:38 No.16921281
         File1321061900.jpg-(452 KB, 3000x2000, Blorp4b copy.jpg)
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    rolled 3 = 3


    So...I got this done. I had way more fun that I should have with the mantis shrimp claws. Color scheme updated to "peacock mantis shrimp" because it is awesome. Plus it makes us look more like a Aztec god, which is where we are heading anyway. Then I had a totally awesome idea I wanted to run with, so no Cerberus AT-AT walker (yet).
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)20:42 No.16921327
    rolled 29 = 29

    I should not have to bump this thread.

    Get in here.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)20:45 No.16921354
    rolled 33 = 33


    We fly over to Razz and get a status report. Do so stylishly.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)20:47 No.16921382
         File1321062467.jpg-(377 KB, 1185x2327, ADVENTURES OF GLORP AND RANDOM(...).jpg)
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    rolled 21 = 21


    Welp, while we are waiting, I guess I will post this. If you guys like it, I will do more (Lies. I am doing them anyway). Disclaimer: First two will be kinda lame, but they build up to the 3rd, 4th and 5th one. Probably will have the second one done before the 404 hits.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)20:48 No.16921385
    Aaah... it felt like it was just yesterday that you tore the face off of that giant shadow-walking bear, turned its skeleton into your own personal bearmobile, and then proceeded to strike fear (and also death) into any and all pointy-eared tree-hugging, crystal-stealing sons-of-bitches.

    ... where were you aga- oh! Right, superpower dickery! You slither-walk until you're clinging to the dark side of the meteor- and then you concentrate and dash right INTO the nearest shadow, and-

    - there's a moment of pure darkness and disorientation and-

    - you're inside the Meteor, tumbling head-over-tail for a moment before opening your wings with a SNAP and righting yourself back up. Surprise surprise, shadow travel works like a goddamn dream! The range isn't what it was when the bear used it, but you're sure you can improve that in time.

    Below you, in the Meteor's main chamber, the trees that you planted (and boosted with your Biomancy) have grown quite nicely; you've got a miniature forest in here, with a visible path leading from one end down to the entrance.

    A few sunfang are scattered here and there, and they're- they seem to be placing eggs in the crowns of the trees. Down near the entrance, Razz, your Godspoken, seems to be looking over piles of supplies and taking notes on some kind of animalskin parchment- boring administrative stuff.

    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)20:48 No.16921392
         File1321062524.png-(515 KB, 1500x1500, 1316932088379.png)
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    What a glorious time to wake up
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)20:49 No.16921400
    Talk to Razz, let's find out what he's doing. What are our priorities, goals etc.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)20:50 No.16921409
         File1321062623.gif-(487 KB, 263x150, brofist.gif)
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    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)20:50 No.16921411
    rolled 39 = 39


    Command OP to turn his trip on.

    Talk to Razz
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/11/11(Fri)20:51 No.16921423
    Whoops, forgot my EVERYTHING

    Also, as a reminder, all decisions are rolled- 1d40!
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)20:51 No.16921428
    Jesus christ..... what are we becoming?
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)20:56 No.16921480
    rolled 2 = 2

    I am... curious

    Bellow a blorp which will contest the wind's screaming dominace in the sky then launch to the heavens. Fly up and up and up until we can reach no higher, then look upon our new kingdom and the lands yet still to conquer.

    I want to know if there is anything interesting we can tell from the shape of the terrain.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)20:59 No.16921513
    rolled 23 = 23


    Check in with Razz to see what our stats...er resources look like at the moment.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/11/11(Fri)20:59 No.16921515
    You BLORP at Razz, and he looks up from his fretting (mostly cursing) as you approach.

    "Oh! My lord, yoAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH-"

    ... and, of course, that was you shooting a parasitic mouth-hook into his neck so that you can actually converse with him. Razz, who is both used to this AND kind of a giant goddamn spaz about everything, recovers after a moment and continues as if nothing happened.

    "- just looking over all the shit we got from our glorious fucking victory, my lord. Bronze armor and weapons, enough food to last an entire village for months, and all sorts of tools! Fucking TOOLS!" Razz seems pretty excited about this. "Not just that weird digging shit they use for the pits, but weird digging shit that's used for farming! We lost that fucking knowledge when those asshole woodfolk-"

    He pauses and looks uncertain. "- right, right, I was gonna tell you. We got motherfucking woodfolk running around scared that you're just going to eat them. Or that you're going to kill them, or let the woodfolk beat their motherfucking heads in."

    Razz sighs. "Some even want to talk to you, and- look, they're getting really goddamn annoying. Want I should fuckin' do something about them, my lord?"

    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:01 No.16921536
    rolled 39 = 39

    Gather the 3 most eager Woodfolk and bring them before the Mighty Blorp in audience.

    Then throw a rock in their midst and command them to fight to the death or else be murdered. The survivor may speak with us.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:02 No.16921546
    rolled 11 = 11


    Time to increase our ranks. Meet with the dissidents in a professional and courteous manner. Possibly hold a feast later in honor of our victory and new capital to which they are cordially invited.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:04 No.16921560
    rolled 13 = 13



    Counter rolling for non-lethal negotiations.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:05 No.16921576
         File1321063540.jpg-(58 KB, 756x760, 1313998327885.jpg)
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    rolled 29 = 29

    The Blorp finds your compassion.... wanting
    >> [SUN][I] Pvt. Erwin !/B9Qu8b8yA 11/11/11(Fri)21:07 No.16921592
    rolled 37 = 37

    Dick move, counter rollin'

    Just talk to them first.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:09 No.16921605
    rolled 9 = 9

    Anti-rolling, we don't want that level of dickery.
    >> Nothingmancer 11/11/11(Fri)21:09 No.16921608
    rolled 15 = 15

    What the fuck man.
    We're not powerful enough to start acting like an Aztec God yet.
    We only look the part, wait until we have level 10 shit.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:09 No.16921611
    rolled 20 = 20



    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:12 No.16921634
         File1321063939.gif-(177 KB, 150x134, zat's racist.gif)
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    We already ate like, a million elves.
    No fucking reason to kill the reasonable ones too
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 11/11/11(Fri)21:14 No.16921646
    We could kill them in seconds, no need for genocide.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:15 No.16921657
    rolled 17 = 17


    Jesus christ it is 2 at most. This thread is filled with Elf loving candy asses
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:16 No.16921669
    >who cares lol their just am elves
    >implying you're not a fucking elf, in spirit
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:17 No.16921675
    Elves are people too, just like the Sunfang. Not their fault that they were born into a fascist society. They get one chance.

    If they fuck that chance up, THEN we eat them.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/11/11(Fri)21:17 No.16921683
    >BLORP... HURP.

    Razz blinks, slightly taken aback by that... but then he just shrugs. "Yeah, I guess we could do that, too. Gimme a sec, my lord, I'll get our guys together, and those fuckers, too..."

    Razz is nothing if not efficient; a few minutes later, most of the sunfang are gathered at the base of Sunfang Meteor; most of the woodfolk are in their own group, and they ALL look pretty damn freaked, to be honest. The SUNFANG, meanwhile, look so satisfied that they're swelling to near bursting; they're grinning at the woodfolk and elbowing each other in the ribs, jerking a thumb at those goddamn bastards, eh? Eh? Damn straight!

    ... clearly, there still isn't very much love lost between the two races.

    You sit on the ramp leading into the meteor, looking down on the three woodfolk they brought before you- a strong-looking old man, a young woman, and a weedy young man stand before you.


    You then kick a rock into their midst, Razz translates, and...

    ... he's barely half-done with the translation before the oldest of the woodfolk has broken the young woman's neck and is now smashing the young man's head in with the rock.

    The old woodfolk, clearly an ex-military man, wipes his brow with a blood-covered arm and looks at you with cold, hard eyes, ignoring the stares of sunfangs and woodfolk alike. "... will you hear what I have to say now?"

    ... you close your mouth.

    Holy fucking shit.

    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:19 No.16921695
    Motherfucker EARNED an audience. Also some other kind of reward probably.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:19 No.16921701
    rolled 24 = 24


    Parasite his face and lets see what he has to say
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 11/11/11(Fri)21:19 No.16921705
    Huh, a badass.
    CLEARLY we should hear him out.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:20 No.16921716
    rolled 13 = 13


    God DAMN. That guy doesn't dick around. I like him.

    "You have my attention. Speak your piece"
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:20 No.16921718
    rolled 27 = 27

    Dude knows what is up.

    Hear him out.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:20 No.16921719
    Goddamnit, what happened to us being the champion of the bro god?
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:21 No.16921729
    rolled 27 = 27



    NOW you all like the idea? See, just give them a chance and even these tree sucking boy lovers can command some respect.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 11/11/11(Fri)21:22 No.16921740
    Apparently we abandoned it. Which is a damn shame.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:22 No.16921744
    rolled 12 = 12

    No, I still think that was a horrible dick move. But it's already done, so fuck it. He earned it.

    Also, let's see if we can use our biomancy/necromancy to return life to the two guys he killed.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:23 No.16921755
    An asshole rolled high, that's what happened.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:24 No.16921762
    rolled 20 = 20

    Yeah, bring them back to life, if we can.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:26 No.16921782
    rolled 22 = 22

    Yes, because this is clearly the right way to go about earning their trust.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 11/11/11(Fri)21:26 No.16921784
    rolled 40 = 40

    Bring the other two back.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:26 No.16921786
    rolled 4 = 4

    To live as ghouls for all eternity not knowing the touch of humanity or the warmth of living flesh. Forever displaced between their own people and the world and hunted or revered as evil constructs of undead will?

    Oh yeah that will improve their lives considerably. They died in effort of saving their people. It was a noble sacrifice, do not cheapen it.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:26 No.16921787
    rolled 32 = 32


    So, like every thread, the dice lords are dicking with us. Again.


    Seconding the biomancy option. Leave them with their free will intact as an apology for being A MASSIVE DICK.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:26 No.16921788
    rolled 36 = 36

    True resurrection on the dead woodfol
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:27 No.16921795
    rolled 22 = 22

    kick him in the nuts for him to show some respect and then let him speak
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:27 No.16921803
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    rolled 28 = 28

    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:29 No.16921815
    rolled 35 = 35

    Explain to them that we did not actually expect him to do it.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/11/11(Fri)21:29 No.16921817
    Stopping voting here!
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:29 No.16921818
    rolled 21 = 21

    Damn that guy is serious. Have the Sunfang drag away the bodies and approach the Old elf and latch on for a personal mind swirly. Let's see what was so important enough to kill for.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:29 No.16921820
    "Squak like an idiot and take a shit on the rug" shouldn't be carried out even on a 40.

    Being a complete and total asshole after building a reputation as a bro god, basing the reasoning for the vast majority of our decisions on being a chill dude who gives everyone a chance, and striving to provide peace and prosperity is pretty goddamn stupid.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:32 No.16921846
    rolled 2 = 2

    We've killed thousands of elvs in the past few days. We are only bros to those who know us. They are still the enemy and a serious threat. Murdering entire villages but being nice to the dozen or so survivors doesn't improve our reputation. We are still the mauradering murdering crazy bio-God of the Sunfang. Why is everyone so fucking hung up on this interaction?

    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:33 No.16921854
    We were under the assumption that, in fact, these ones were innocent and their leaders and warriors were the fascist dickheads.

    Which is why we spared them to begin with.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:34 No.16921859
    rolled 9 = 9

    That was their asshole fascist noble caste. You know, the dudes that use the normal woodfolk as slave labor?

    Assholes like Slick and the Tyrant are our enemies, not the common man.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:34 No.16921861
    rolled 6 = 6


    Eh. The problem is the agreed system is high roll. It sucks, but I don't think we can change that now without a GM fiat. And it has lead to some interesting things happening from the random shit that gets through.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:35 No.16921867
    Well yes, I'm asking for a GM fiat because I believe that particular action was terribly out of character given our previous actions and the justifications for those actions.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:36 No.16921877
    rolled 36 = 36

    Well one of your 'innocent and peaceful' elves just murdered two of his kin without so much of a second thought with his bare hands.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:36 No.16921880
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    I love you so much Someone Else.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:37 No.16921884
    That, and there was an outpouring of protest after that roll.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:37 No.16921885
    Because we forced him into the situation, you asshole.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:38 No.16921894

    We didn't even get to finish our sentence!
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:39 No.16921908

    They aren't "peaceful and innocent" not by a long fucking shot.

    Thing is, WE don't have to be a massive douchebag because THEY were. No we are a champion of the brogod, we beat these fuckers into submission when we killed their MOTHER FUCKING KING AND HIS ENTIRE ARMY. Why the FUCK do we need to pick on the FREED SLAVES?
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:40 No.16921914
    rolled 38 = 38


    WE are the one with the power, WE are the one everyone looks up to, and thus WE are the ones responsible for the treatment of the weak.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 11/11/11(Fri)21:42 No.16921926
    rolled 11 = 11

    If little else, these threads consistently have good arts and discussions.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:43 No.16921932
    1 butcher the adults
    2 enslave the children
    3 forced work until adult
    4 repeat step 1

    oh and a constant war with them will keep our people fed for a nice time
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:43 No.16921935
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/11/11(Fri)21:44 No.16921943

    You can't say that he HASN'T earned an audience. Hell, he's earned enough audience for THREE people.

    ... still, maybe you were a LITTLE too hasty.

    With a wave of one taloned hand, your grasp on your existing undead minions quiver for a moment before you brute-force your way through the gates of Hell with Biomancy and drag the woodfolk back into life (or something close enough to life that people won't notice unless they squint).

    Ignoring the thank yous and the sobbing bowing and scraping from the no-longer-dead woodfolk slaves, quick as a flash, you shoot a parasitical mouth-hook at the older woodfolk- and his arm lashes up just as quickly, blocking it from his face. The telepathy... SEEMS to work just fine, though, so you let it slide.

    "You have saved us from the crystal-favored," the woodfolk says, lowering his arm (while keeping his other hand on the parasite, clearly not trusting it as far as he can throw it). "In return, I will give you a warning:

    "Bolbox knows of your existence. And he is coming for you. He must cross mountains and entire oceans to reach you, but he will stop at nothing to hunt you down," he says, quite matter-of-factly. "And you are powerful, but not nearly strong enough to fight him off, should he reach this place."

    The old woodfolk takes a deep breath. "... and Bolbox only becomes stronger with the crystals that our tribe has sent him," he growls bitterly. "Take your people. Flee this place. And grow stronger. I..."

    Amidst the silence, the old woodfolk bends at the knee. You can sense how much it takes him to do this, after all the bowing and scraping he has had to do for the 'crystal-favored' and their friends.

    "... I only ask that you take our people with you. By force, if necessary."

    >> Nothingmancer 11/11/11(Fri)21:46 No.16921960
    rolled 9 = 9

    This Bolbox guy?
    Sounds like an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:46 No.16921961
    I'm not interesting in equality. We are the Avatar of the Sunfang. Being nice to these.... possibly innocent but I highly doubt it Woodfolk, does nothing to benefit us. It is in fact the dickery of being a God that we found the one Woodfolk whom seems to have something important to say and possibly intel on our precious stones.

    At the end of this the Sunfang should and WILL be the ruling class. We do not have to murder off ALL the Woodfolk but we sure as fuck don't need to play with them with the kid gloves on. I mean come on, they are standing right over there. How do you think they would feel if we buddy buddy up with their hated enemy who stole their lands and kept them in the stone age?
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 11/11/11(Fri)21:48 No.16921972
    rolled 10 = 10

    Hmmm...a very good question.

    After asserting that we mean him no further (immediate) harm and have considered his offer, impress upon him that treachery from his tribesman's ranks will be met with swift and uncompromising punishment. Beyond that, if he has information to contribute, he's welcome to do so.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:48 No.16921979
    Well, sure bro, alright.

    But we ain't leaving. We are preparing, Training, strengthening, consolidating, whatever word you want to use.

    Point is, when he gets here, we'll be ready.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:49 No.16921982
    I outright reject your ideas.

    We can at least fucking TRY to foster a society of fairness.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:49 No.16921990
    rolled 24 = 24

    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:50 No.16921999
         File1321066246.jpg-(23 KB, 256x223, Bolbox1.jpg)
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    rolled 38 = 38


    Explain to him that in little more than a day, we have arisen from a small, stupid, cave salamander. We have arisen to unite the Sunfang, to destroy and kill the Woodfolk king, to free the Woodfolk from their slavery, and that with each day we grow stronger, far more stronger. We do not fear Bolbox, for he is not a god, not by a long shot, but if we must flee, in order to let the people under us grow and thrive. We promise to take the Woodfolk with us, by force, if necessary.

    Then we use our Biomancy to grant him stronger / healthier (though not disgustingly so) with a tattoo on his face showing our sign of favor.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:50 No.16922000
    rolled 6 = 6

    ALL the stones?

    If that is the case then it would be wise to heed this warning. We only have, what? A dozen or so in us. Bolbox could have ingested hundreds.

    Ask him where we could possibly go?
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:51 No.16922002
    rolled 3 = 3

    Yeah, well fuck you buddy. We will build a utopia and be remembered as the ultimate bro.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 11/11/11(Fri)21:51 No.16922003
    rolled 16 = 16

    Further: impress upon him that usefulness is of greater value than obsequiousness. Without exception.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:51 No.16922011
    rolled 8 = 8


    This, magical trips and a mini-crit show the true path.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:52 No.16922016
    i have to agree with you, we should become undefeatable
    and since this dude looks strong, i recommend the leafdancers becoming something more than a magic leaf blower and more like druids, because we are becoming strong at everything but magic, and relying only on yourself for that is kinda lame
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:53 No.16922028
    rolled 32 = 32


    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:53 No.16922035
    rolled 30 = 30

    If we rum, we should get a bunch of bird and vines, And James and the Giant Peach our way out of here. Except instead of a peach, it's a meteor.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:53 No.16922036
    rolled 28 = 28



    Agree. On one condition. This old guy works with us now. He trains EVERYONE under our rule to be competent warriors. We will build an empire to strike down Bolbox, one person at a time if necessary. We are going to need every advantage we can get. Also, we need those crystals they were mining. Ask him what he knows of that.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/11/11(Fri)21:55 No.16922045
    Stopping voting here!

    ... so... we DO agree to flee, at least eventually, correct?
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 11/11/11(Fri)21:56 No.16922056
    rolled 33 = 33

    If we need to.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:56 No.16922062
    rolled 33 = 33

    We make preparations to flee, if Bolrox is as bad as this guy claims.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)21:57 No.16922068
    rolled 21 = 21


    If the option to flee gets overbearing support from the people under us then yes, we will flee, if only for their safety. But we will NEVER flee out of fear. That is an alien emotion to us.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:01 No.16922093
         File1321066876.jpg-(9 KB, 200x200, 1320640979873.jpg)
    9 KB

    I was playing skyrim so I missed like most of htis thread. Please tell me OP, are you going to be playing this tomorrow and sunday?
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:01 No.16922095
    rolled 9 = 9


    Barring all else, we will stay and fight as our citizens take shelter elsewhere. Bolbox is ours to defeat. This is a battle between behemoths. Involving those below that level will just lead to their demise.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 11/11/11(Fri)22:02 No.16922100
    rolled 12 = 12

    Perhaps so, anon, but Bolbox will have other worshipers. Our guys will need to defend themselves against Bolbox's guys at some point.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:02 No.16922103
    rolled 22 = 22


    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:03 No.16922104
    rolled 10 = 10

    It is simple numbers.

    Bolbox has the combined power of an entire mine of power crystals. We only have a handful. No amount of boastful FUCK YEAH WE ARE INVEEEEEEEEEECIBLLLE will save us from an enemy so far off our current power level that it would be like fighting off against the BBEG in the beginning of the game as a Lvl. 1

    I like the post about bringing Captain Badass on as a trainer. He seems to have military background and an iron will. Perfect for teaching our forces how to fight in unison. Inquire about the location of another stockpile of STONES.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/11/11(Fri)22:03 No.16922111
    The night is still young! Also, I... should be here on Sunday, probably not Saturday.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/11/11(Fri)22:07 No.16922144
    >Explain to him that in little more than a day, we have arisen from a small, stupid, cave salamander. We have arisen to unite the Sunfang, to destroy and kill the Woodfolk king, to free the Woodfolk from their slavery, and that with each day we grow stronger, far more stronger. We do not fear Bolbox, for he is not a god, not by a long shot, but if we must flee, in order to let the people under us grow and thrive. We promise to take the Woodfolk with us, by force, if necessary.



    You do a pretty good job of compressing all of that meaning into one word, all things considered- and you mean every single word of what you said. After all you have experienced and where you began, you really DON'T fear Bolbox- not that you ever did, really- but you will make preparations, nonetheless.

    The old woodfolk sags in relief and stands up, looking like he's about to say something... but then you blast him with BIOMANCY. When the smoke clears... well, there wasn't a lot you COULD improve on, but he looks hale and healthy, and save for his lined face and shock-white hair, he no longer looks ravaged by age.

    There is also a tattoo of a silhouette encircling his right arm, where the parasite used to be: a tattoo shaped like a swirling blue salamander.

    The old woodfolk- Steelbark, his mind says- doesn't look all that surprised (he's not exactly the most expressive of people, you realize), but you can feel his awe. "... I... thank you, my lord. I will do my best to help train the-"


    You're basically mobbed by all of your squad leaders at once; Aazz is hollering about trusting the goddamn fucking woodfolk and the follies of fleeing, Seventeen is wringing his pseudopods at the thought of leaving all this wonderful ore behind, and Razz is jabbering about the sheer LOGISTICS involved in picking up and moving somewhere else, and where WOULD you even move to--

    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 11/11/11(Fri)22:09 No.16922153
    rolled 7 = 7

    Send out some soothing waves, man, and pump the brakes. We wouldn't do this kind of shit without planning.
    >> Nothingmancer 11/11/11(Fri)22:09 No.16922156
    rolled 11 = 11

    Don't even say anything, just make a "zip your mouths" sign with our hands, and handle the problems one at a time like we always do.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:10 No.16922166
    rolled 14 = 14

    Hey everyone, I think I know who the real God is. From the opening Narration of EVO: The search for Eden:

    "About 4.6 billion years ago, the "Sun" had nine smaller stars and named the third one "Gaia".

    The Sun: My dear Gaia! Please listen to me. From this time forward, every 1 billion years, you will have children called "Life". One of them will be able to help you to build a new era. Each child will must endure a difficult trial. You might think it's too severe, but it is necessary. The trial is a test of Nature: "The survival of the fittest". If he passes, I will allow him to be your partner and to enter Eden."

    We have the Sun rooting for us!
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:13 No.16922179
    rolled 32 = 32





    This is what I was afraid of. Trusting this old bastard now makes us look weak and foolish infront of OUR people. Now we have to evacuate the Sunfang AND all these refugees? How do we feed and shelter them? How many resources and men are we going to have to expend to force them to come with us?

    Being the good guy is fun in theory but this is seriously going to fuck with out mobility, unity, and overall fighting force. I swear half you people don't stop to think about what being bro all the time means as far as responsibly and additional work.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:16 No.16922205
    rolled 29 = 29

    Give a great Hurp to shut everyone up. Tell them we are not running if we don't have to and if we DO we'll figure some thing out. We are just PREPARING to retreat, if thing get to bad, and are full prepared to sacrifice ourselves to ensure that EVERYONE gets away safely. Yes Aazz, everyone, including the Woodfolk and the Forgeslugs if we can find them.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:17 No.16922209
    rolled 38 = 38

    It's worth it, yo
    We don't dick around just for the sake of fucking logistics man

    Tell the fuckers to
    Calming aura that shit
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:17 No.16922210
    rolled 40 = 40


    Wait, hold up guys. We've come a fucking long way from where we started, from simple cave salamander to fucking living avatar of the ancients. It's time for us to rejoice in our power and reveal in our victory over our defeated foes!

    We need to declare a festival!
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:18 No.16922215
    rolled 38 = 38


    Also, time for pow-wow between our commanders. We need to organize everything. I want to say use the gate to the mountain as the "FUCK YOU GUYS I AM GOING HOME" option. When things are getting bad, send the people who stayed with us there and close the gate from the other side. We could actually probably set that up as a more defendable position. One way in, one way out. Feasibly, we could pack everyone into the meteorite and run, but there are a lot of resources we will lose if we do. We need to grab everything we can as soon as we can.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/11/11(Fri)22:18 No.16922221
    Okay, stopping voting here!
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 11/11/11(Fri)22:18 No.16922222

    I like these ideas. Make them happen.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:18 No.16922226
    rolled 20 = 20

    >nat 40
    I still vote we >>16922209 or
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:19 No.16922230
    rolled 3 = 3

    >order the murder of 2 innocent captives
    >bring them back
    >make hated enemy new Warmaster
    >order mass evacuations

    Fuck we must look bi-polar to everyone watching us right now....
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:23 No.16922258

    We are not ordering an evacuation, we are just making preparation, being careful so that if this guy is really to strong for us, Everyone doesn't die.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:23 No.16922259
    rolled 16 = 16


    I know. It is like there are dozens of voices in Blorps head telling him to do contradicting things and arguing incessantly.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:26 No.16922278
    rolled 34 = 34


    Those are the whispers of the ancient ones in the eternal void between stars, and they make their will known through the dice.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/11/11(Fri)22:29 No.16922302

    Aazz, one of the few people who understands you without parasites, does a double-take. "PARTY!? My lord, well, I- I can't ever fuckin' turn down a party, but- oh shit," he adds, covering his face in his hands because ALL THE SUNFANGS HEARD HIM AND ARE NOW CHEERING.

    As always, the lizardmen are ready to party at the drop of a fucking hat; they start breaking out all of their alcohol, all of the WOODFOLK'S alcohol, and as much food as they can scrounge up from the surrounding huts. The sunfangs are cheering for you as they get their party- their usual orgy of food and drink- under way.

    Between all the constant fighting and the sheer insanity of the past few days, they probably really needed something like this.

    The WOODFOLK, on the other hand, are a lot more subdued at this reminder of their people's defeat at the hands of their racial enemies, or perhaps are simply taken aback at all of these capering sunfangs; either way, they're bunched up in their own corner, doing the equivalent of standing in the back of the room and trying to nod to the beat without looking completely hopeless and awkward.


    You're surrounded by your advisors, who are no longer screaming for your attention, but they're pretty tense. Aazz is giving sidelong glares to the impassive-looking Steelbark, Razz is poring over his parchment, looking like he's about to have a headache, and Seventeen is about to cry. Seriously, there are huge watery slime-tears forming at the edges of his shell.

    You got all of these advisers to talk to... or you COULD scarper off and just start making some preparations of your own. They'll probably understand. Probably.

    1) Aazz
    2) Seventeen
    3) Razz
    4) Steelbark

    TWO of your advisors to talk to
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:32 No.16922316
    rolled 17 = 17


    Woah, we need to get those fucking woodfolks in the party! Not partying is an affront to the ancient ones. Command all of the female woodfolk to drink large amounts of alcohol, and once they are suitably "enlightened" they shall go with us to a more "secluded" location.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:33 No.16922321
    rolled 9 = 9

    Okay, we have to talk to Steelebark and Aazz, together. Try to come to some sort of understanding.

    And for gods sake, tell 17 we aren't leaving, if only to stop him doing that. It's heartbreaking.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:33 No.16922323
    rolled 12 = 12

    And then we shall show them our "blue salamander".
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:34 No.16922327
    rolled 25 = 25

    This, we have to settle all this racial tension.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:35 No.16922336
    Reassure 17
    Talk to Aazz and Steelbark
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 11/11/11(Fri)22:36 No.16922337
    Tell 17 it's all right, we're not going to forget about him or abandon our commitments.

    Also, tell Azaz we're not doing jackshit without careful planning. We're crystal-touched, not retarded.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 11/11/11(Fri)22:36 No.16922346
    rolled 21 = 21

    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/11/11(Fri)22:37 No.16922347
    Stopping the voting here!
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:38 No.16922358
    rolled 39 = 39

    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:40 No.16922377
         File1321069233.jpg-(58 KB, 525x650, 1287056122859.jpg)
    58 KB
    rolled 20 = 20

    >mfw voting stopped and that vote doesn't count
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:44 No.16922406
    Goddammit I completely forgot about this tonight, and I have to get up early tomorrow morning.

    Guess I'm going to be reading this in the archives. Y'all had better not fuck things up too badly in the meantime.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:47 No.16922424
    rolled 12 = 12

    >Y'all had better not fuck things up too badly in the meantime.

    I suggest you pray to satan and the rest of the dark pantheon if you don't want that to happen.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:48 No.16922435

    This should have a higher roll.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:48 No.16922441
    rolled 31 = 31


    Fuck, I forgot my roll.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:55 No.16922490
         File1321070111.jpg-(371 KB, 1320x2300, ADVENTURES OF GLORP AND RANDOM(...).jpg)
    371 KB
    rolled 36 = 36


    This makes the most sense. Also, sad slime eyes are a known carcinogen. We need to get him to stop the waterworks ASAP.


    On an unrelated note, part two of the thing no one asked for! Try and contain your excitement. It kills time between posts AND brain cells. It is like alcohol, but way less interesting.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:55 No.16922492
    I've noticed a trend with EVO Quest lately. The longer it takes for the OP to come out with the next update the more awesome it is. OP has been working on something for some time now and I'm close to wetting myself in anticipation.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:57 No.16922502
         File1321070233.jpg-(9 KB, 246x245, 1287449266617.jpg)
    9 KB

    This quest thread is so fucking awesome someone is actually creating a spin-off comic based on our adventures.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)22:57 No.16922503

    I know, I'm wrestling between my overwhelming need to sleep and equally overwhelming need to see WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/11/11(Fri)22:59 No.16922520

    "Ores! C-Can't leave behind ores..." Seventeen wibbles piteously. "Preciouses... so much art to make!"


    One Aazz translation later, Seventeen sniffs, still quivering slightly, but he's looking somewhat reassured. He's still murmuring about 'preciouses,' though.

    .... that settled, you turn to your two bulkiest advisers, Aazz and Steelbark, who are glaring fucking DAGGERS at each other. "Alright, you pointy-eared namsy-pansy treehugger," the former Sunfang chieftain snarls. "You got a LOT of fuckin' explaining to do, eh? Poppin' in out of goddamn nowhere and talking big about this Bolbox guy like you know EXACTLY how he's gonna move! Why, I oughtta fuckin' tear your head off and-"


    "... fine... yeah, okay, my lord, I won't," Aazz relents slightly, settling back down. "But you got some explaining."

    "We heard... stories. In the warbands, I heard many things." Steelbark retorts, the ice to Aazz's fire. "They are why I was working in the pits."

    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/11/11(Fri)23:00 No.16922525

    "And because of YOUR fuckin' words, we're just going to uproot ourselves and run off!?" Aazz shoots back, poking Steelbark in the forehead for emphasis. "You think we're all fuckin' barbarians with nothin' going for us? We got the motherfucking Guardian here! We ain't losing to no goddamn Bolbox!"

    "I know the Guardian's power. I know the sunfang's power. It will not be enough to defeat our mortal enemy in common. And he IS both of our mortal enemies," Steelbark adds, cutting off Aazz as he opens his mouth. "I know enough of the old ways to remember that much."

    Aazz... blinks. "You... know of the old ways." It's not a question. In response, the woodfolk merely grins- a tight, thin-lipped grin, but a grin nonetheless.

    >"Fight for survival, and for food."
    >"Only move forward; never move back."
    >"Evolve, and become strong."

    By the end, both Aazz and Steelbark were speaking in unison; you're not sure why, but this time, you feel something resonate within you as you hear those words. A huge, nostalgic swell of emotion. Briefly, you see the sky in your mind, flowing like water.

    ... well, Aazz isn't going to tear Steelbark's throat out, at least; he's staring at the woodfolk in something like awe.

    And then... well.

    First three 1d40 rolls, 35 or above.
    >> Nothingmancer 11/11/11(Fri)23:01 No.16922530
    rolled 20 = 20

    I've never rolled above 20 before BUT I HAVE A GOOD FEELING
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:03 No.16922543
    rolled 9 = 9


    OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK. Everyone is drunk. Our dicks are hanging in the metaphorical wind.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/11/11(Fri)23:03 No.16922545
         File1321070589.gif-(194 KB, 450x270, 1320180025877.gif)
    194 KB
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:03 No.16922549
    rolled 31 = 31

    Rolling for profound revelation.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:03 No.16922551
    rolled 30 = 30

    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/11/11(Fri)23:04 No.16922558
         File1321070676.png-(96 KB, 394x294, 1318498117213.png)
    96 KB
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:05 No.16922564

    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:05 No.16922572
    rolled 17 = 17

    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:07 No.16922585
    rolled 11 = 11



    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:09 No.16922609
         File1321070973.jpg-(56 KB, 447x427, nope.jpg)
    56 KB
    rolled 3 = 3


    Once again, the dice lords prove to be MASSIVE FLAPPING BADGER CUNTS.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:09 No.16922610
    rolled 22 = 22

    Well shit. We're so close to understanding it, but our cave salamander brain is at the very precipice.

    Shall our advisors explain, herr BLORP, as we've rolled so close?
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/11/11(Fri)23:11 No.16922625
    Good news: the sense roll had absolutely nothing to do with the conversation.

    Bad news: the sense roll had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the CONVERSATION.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 11/11/11(Fri)23:11 No.16922627
    >"Fight for survival, and for food."
    >"Only move forward; never move back."
    >"Evolve, and become strong."

    Oh HELL FUCK yeah!
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 11/11/11(Fri)23:12 No.16922633
    Oh, joy.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:13 No.16922642
    rolled 31 = 31


    ...We're about to get sneak-attacked right the fuck out of nowhere, aren't we.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:14 No.16922647
         File1321071261.jpg-(19 KB, 600x382, 1388574123.jpg)
    19 KB
    rolled 13 = 13

    WELL GREAT. Something is about to jump us, isn't it? ISN'T IT?

    God damn it, someone is about to get shanked. I pray that it is our bony salamander ass, because we can take it just fine.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:15 No.16922651
    rolled 28 = 28



    Goddammit, we used to crit these checks all the time like a boss, what happened?
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:17 No.16922677
         File1321071468.jpg-(57 KB, 315x424, yup.jpg)
    57 KB
    rolled 5 = 5


    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:18 No.16922679
    rolled 20 = 20

    last time we failed a perception check we got cold cocked by a boss
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:18 No.16922681
    Well, I can't think of anything we did that would anger the dice gods besides that giant dick move we pulled at the beginning.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:19 No.16922684
    rolled 31 = 31

    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:20 No.16922692
    rolled 34 = 34


    Too be fair, we pulled that giant dick move BECAUSE of the dice gods.

    We have forgotten the face of our father.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:20 No.16922695
    rolled 20 = 20


    Yeah. We got a 39 for it, but the 40 to resurrect the woodfolk that we ordered killed should've clued us into the fact that the gods were not pleased by our action.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:22 No.16922702
    rolled 27 = 27

    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:25 No.16922719
    Guys, this is how cults form.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:28 No.16922731
    rolled 13 = 13



    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/11/11(Fri)23:33 No.16922756
    ... and you sense absolutely nothing amiss.

    Meanwhile, Aazz manages to stop staring. "H... how? Fuck, man, I thought I was the only one! Me and... goddamn. And you're a fucking WOODFOLK!" he mutters, rocking backwards a bit.

    Steelbark shrugs. "I do not know how. I just know. The rules came into my head, along with the knowledge that Bolbox is our sworn enemy."

    "Fuck, man, -I- didn't know that much!" Aazz groans, slapping a ghostly palm against an equally ghostly forehead. "Un-fucking-fair- okay. Okay, hold it. Dreams?"

    Steelbark shrugs. "Of a strange blunt-ear woman with the entire-"

    "- sky as her hair. Oh god fucking DAMMIT." Aazz rolls his eyes. "He's probably motherfucking legit," the sunfang says reluctantly, this time to you. "Dunno how the fucker knows more than I do, but- oh, I KNOW you were smirking at me, asshole!" he suddenly snaps at Steelbark, who has that usual expressionless face.

    "I don't know what-"

    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/11/11(Fri)23:36 No.16922771
         File1321072591.jpg-(9 KB, 300x300, cube.jpg)
    9 KB
    ... and that's you feel a pulse of WRONGNESS- and hear screams coming from the edge of the party, screams that finally overpower the sheer amount of background noise your sunfangs are making- but before you can react, the dirt around you starts getting torn up with THOK-THOK-THOK sounds.

    Aazz is completely unfazed, but- there's a spray of blood, and Razz goes down with a shriek, jerking twice as if hit by some sort of invisible shots. Steelbark hurtles out of the way, but not before jerking once himself, clutching his shoulder with a hiss. Even Seventeen is forced to withdraw into his shell, his shell standing firm against-

    What the hell IS this assault!? You take to the air instinctively and-

    - are lanced down by a burning hot beam of light that clips your side, your body screaming in pain at you even as you hit the ground rolling.

    In those moments when you were airborne, you manage to catch sight of your attacker- no, your attackerS, who are slowly trundling out from the woodfolk's overseer's hut, with sunfangs running the hell away from them. For a moment, you mistake the attackers as forgeslugs, but then you realize they look VERY subtly different- and it's something that takes you completely off-guard.

    You are under attack by metallic cubes. Impossibly shiny, seamless metallic cubes with strange... TOOLS protruding from underneath that top lid.

    - what the everloving FUCK!?

    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:38 No.16922785
    rolled 30 = 30


    You are ill-versed in the will of the ancients. They demand blood and sacrifice, and show favor onto those who try to bend reality to their will.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 11/11/11(Fri)23:39 No.16922787
    rolled 33 = 33

    Get the fleshy beings under our administration the FUCK out of harm's way and send our devoted gestalt skeleton abomination to the fight (if it's still a viable option)!

    Also get a medic for the wounded.
    >> Nothingmancer 11/11/11(Fri)23:40 No.16922793
    rolled 16 = 16

    Biomancy them to the ground, keep them still any way we can, and cover them in webs before they do anything else.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:40 No.16922795
    If we can get our biomancy to register them as living, force them the fuck out of their shells whatever they are.

    If not call BeaRex and Cerebus to fuck shit up. Meanwhile we'll go straight colossal to draw their fire away from our folks and get to the stompy bits.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:41 No.16922802
    rolled 27 = 27

    Whoops, forgot my roll
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:41 No.16922803
         File1321072876.jpg-(48 KB, 293x208, 1279165661008.jpg)
    48 KB
    rolled 36 = 36


    We will give a small prayer to the Ancients, offering up these metal cubes to them once we get done pummeling the fuck out of them with our mantis claws.

    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:43 No.16922811
         File1321072986.jpg-(211 KB, 761x700, commingatyou.jpg)
    211 KB
    rolled 24 = 24

    >mantis claws

    *Ahem* Mantis fists I meant.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:44 No.16922825

    Where are BeaRex and Cerebus? I thought that they were supposed to be guarding the portal! Unless they're dead, they had better have a good excuse for not warning us about these things.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/11/11(Fri)23:46 No.16922837
    Stopping the votes here!
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:47 No.16922839
    rolled 30 = 30


    ALL NON-COMBATANTS AND INJURED TO THE PORTAL NOW. Warriors sober enough to fight stay, otherwise get everyone out of here! Find 17 and get him spitting molten metal at these sons of bitches. Biomancy/titanium web them to ground to give our forces time to escape/regroup. Start dive bombing them and hitting them with our mantis shrimp claws. Hopefully "enough force to break a wall" is enough force to pierce their armor. Or stun them.

    Those chunks of metal will make excellent armor by the time we are done with them. Nobody crashes our party. Nobody.
    >> Anonymous 11/11/11(Fri)23:51 No.16922867
    rolled 33 = 33



    Op, this is what needs to happen. Those big meaty claws aren't just for attracting mates.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/11/11(Fri)23:59 No.16922914
    ... alright, Ancients, do you see this bullshit that we gotta put up with? Giant lizard kings, flying sharks, and psychotic woodfolk fanatics worshiping some stupid god, and now a bunch of metal cubes?

    We fucked everything before the cubes- that we will dedicate for YOU!

    Prayers finished, you scuttle through the grass, straight at the box that opened fire on you, and start landing mantis-shrimp-punches against its shiny metal chest. THWOK- it dents. THWOK- it actually cracks. THWOK-

    - the entire front of the goddamn thing caves INWARD with a CRACK, causing it to convulse and spark. You catch sight of strange metal innards, too complex for you to understand, before thick black smoke rises from its battered form, obscuring anything inside.

    ... you realize that the things were never alive in the first place. You couldn't sense a goddamn THING from them with your biomancy! They're... they're just moving metal boxes with nonsensical metal organs!

    You risk a glance back at your advisers; Aazz has the injured ones backed up into the Meteor. Only Seventeen hasn't moved, and that's because he looks like he's just seen a nightmare that's come to life. Honestly, you're on the verge of ordering them into the portal, when...

    ... you realize that that would be a fuckhoribble idea. The nine other boxes that are out firing on anything that's moving are... coming from the overseer's hut, where the teleporter is LOCATED. And you don't recall seeing any metal boxes in the overseer's hut when you searched it...

    Oh jesus FUCK. You see Bearex stomping and kicking boxes as much as it can, but the metal boxes are uncommonly agile, and just- ROLL out of the way, shooting up Bearex and blackening his bones. You do not see Cerberus anywh- oh wait, there he is trying to ravage a box with his teeth and failing miserably.

    Goddamn, you're going to need a plan.

    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:05 No.16922967
    Okay, just gotta thing this through. Summon up some biomancy to weave the grass into strong vines to hold those things still. Tell everyone to retreat, then shadow walk up to each in turn and crack the open.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:06 No.16922974
    rolled 36 = 36

    >> Nothingmancer 11/12/11(Sat)00:06 No.16922978
    rolled 4 = 4

    We need to give someone else the mantis arms(Via biomancy), and try to get 17 out of it and shooting metal.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:10 No.16923012
    rolled 13 = 13

    Smash the FUCK out of the boxes. The roots have spread through the meteor, yes?

    Well, FUCK THOSE BOXES. Biomancy the roots, rip up the stone of the meteor and CRUSH THEM ALL IN ONE FELL SWOOP. Then biomancy the stone and roots back into place, leaving everything tidy and proper and pretty. If our organic mantis shrimp mandible-punches can crush them, then what can we do putting our biomancy power to work on similar principles with rock and biomancy'd roots?
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:10 No.16923015
    rolled 22 = 22

    We are not equipped to deal with a threat like this. Have Aazz join you and bear rex in the fight, send everyone else away.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:13 No.16923037
    rolled 31 = 31


    These things are mechanical. We need to use that to our advantage.

    Tie them up as per


    With titanium webbing to boot if we can muster it. Order everyone who is alive and made of squishy flesh to get to safety. Doesn't matter where at the moment.

    Create the organic blob we made before and steam roll over the metal cubes like a tidal wave. Hope that they are not water proof. Once ANY biomass gets inside them, cause it to explode/grow. Preferably exponentially. I know we made plasma on a crit, so that if the ancient ones will it. Even if they are water tight, that should prevent them from moving so quickly.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:14 No.16923045
    rolled 21 = 21


    Rally the troops, use biomancy to bind the cubes and bring them back down to the ground so we can hit them.

    Also use Calming aura once on our OWN troops so they don't start panicking.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:16 No.16923061
    rolled 13 = 13


    Addendum back up plan. Go electric eel in the biomass on them if they are water proof. Hopefully they are less magic and more circuits.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/12/11(Sat)00:17 No.16923063

    "Everyone! Clear the fuck out!"

    The sunfangs do NOT need any more convincing; those who tried to stand and fight start making towards the sound of the voice- Aazz and the Meteor- and the battlefield continues emptying of living bodies, but this time with PURPOSE.

    ... Aazz's voice attracted the boxes, too, but you're already dealing with that. With an almighty bellow, you draw on your Biomancy; the grass beneath your feet pulses and then grows, blossoming like wildfire on a super-dry day and enveloping the cubes as much as you can. No matter how much they strain, they cannot beat your makeshift vines, at least not yet...

    With a mighty roar, Bearex manages to kick two into the giant pit, and Cerberus still has the attention of one box. That leaves six of the strange constructs...

    ... who all swivel one of their strange protrusions to face you as you dash towards them. Their lasers are charging!?


    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:18 No.16923070
    rolled 25 = 25



    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:19 No.16923077
    rolled 27 = 27

    Whoops, capcha ate the 2d40. ROLLING THE SECOND DIE.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:19 No.16923080
    rolled 33 = 33

    Fuck you cube, I'm gonna Godhand you!
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:20 No.16923083
    rolled 26 = 26

    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:20 No.16923086
    rolled 23, 17 = 40


    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/12/11(Sat)00:21 No.16923090
    Okay, stopping the rolls since... well, I have six d40 rolls!
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 11/12/11(Sat)00:22 No.16923104
    rolled 19, 40 = 59

    people here can't count
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:26 No.16923129
    rolled 37, 15 = 52


    You have got to be blorpin' kidding.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/12/11(Sat)00:31 No.16923172

    SHIT SHIT SHIT- you get a move on, scuttling sideways through the grass as the lasers start firing in succession, getting harder and harder to dodge with each shot fired-

    - you just barely manage to dodge the first salvo, and feel the heat of the lasers passing right over your head and between your wings-

    - this puts you in a good position to twist out of the way, sidewinding through the grass; the second barrage smashes into the ground where the FIRST salvo hit, and the smell of scorched earth is fleeting, you're on the move-

    - you're in range! You jinx out of the way of the THIRD barrage, which tracked where you WOULD'VE been had you kept going straight, and you manage to mantis punch the first box, cracking its shell wide open-


    - the lasers converge on your position before you can get out of the way, and you feel SOMETHING burning horribly. Pain lances through you, and you snarl, hurtling towards the next box-

    - and the remaining lasers cut at you, blackening the skin across your back and blinding a few of your eyes. You dimly register that you are ON FIRE, and you manage to hurtle into the cover of a SCREAMING MEAT TREE, where the lasers start cooking the earlier results of your Biomancy.

    ... that could have gone a little better. You are no longer on fire, but you're not doing so hot; another barrage may be more than even you can handle. Dimly, you hear the sounds of Bearex kicking another can into the pit, roaring in sheer anger at the temerity of these interlopers.

    The vines are holding them in place a LITTLE bit longer, at least...

    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:35 No.16923199
    rolled 23 = 23

    More Biomancy! Fuck up their lasers by filling the air with water-vapor
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:36 No.16923205
    The meat tree! Biomancy the meat tree into a bio-organic acid cannon and melt the rest of the fuckers!
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:37 No.16923207
    rolled 7 = 7

    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:37 No.16923211
    rolled 11 = 11


    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:37 No.16923215
    rolled 5 = 5

    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:42 No.16923249
    rolled 2 = 2


    >Create the organic blob we made before and steam roll over the metal cubes like a tidal wave. Hope that they are not water proof. Once ANY biomass gets inside them, cause it to explode/grow. Preferably exponentially. I know we made plasma on a crit, so that if the ancient ones will it. Even if they are water tight, that should prevent them from moving so quickly.

    >Addendum back up plan. Go electric eel in the biomass on them if they are water proof. Hopefully they are less magic and more circuits.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:43 No.16923258
    rolled 13 = 13

    Slam them repeatedly with huge vines and various vegetation using biomancy.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:46 No.16923278
    rolled 20 = 20


    Really dice gods? That wasn't good enough for you? Fine. Rock falls, everyone dies. We are going to rip off a boulder sized-chunk of the meteor with biomancy and roll the fuck our of the now immobilized chunks of metal.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:48 No.16923296
    rolled 27 = 27


    You have much rage. That will serve us well on the battlefield.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:48 No.16923298
    rolled 9 = 9

    Don't mock them! But your plan is a good one, we should crush them with rock vines.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:50 No.16923315
    rolled 22 = 22


    Guys, we're to fucking tame. WHat is this shit, vines and leaves? WE NEED TO MOVE THE WHOLE GOD DAMN FOREST AND CRUSH THESE FUCKERS UNDER TONS OF BIO-MATTER!

    Also we should be throwing plasma lances at them while beating their cube-faces in with our mantis fists.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/12/11(Sat)00:50 No.16923319
    Alright... it's time to take off the kiddie gloves.

    You charge your OWN little laser, made from the essence of life, and immediately blast THROUGH the meat tree, creating a shower of blood; a little more judicious Biomancy turns it into a cloud of vapor. You'd like to see them TRY to see you through all of that...

    But- for whatever reason, the boxes' lasers seem to have trouble charging, flickering fitfully in the murk. Not quite as planned, but you'll take it!

    You take this time bought to form the next part of your plan... and you concentrate so hard that your vision goes green once more. You FEEL more than you hear the cracks from the meteor, as you command the roots to heave, grasp, and-

    - to the outside eye, the meteor appears to shoot out a rocky fist, attached by vegetable matter, right into the midst of the boxes, crushing two of them into powder.

    The three boxes remaining break free of their bonds, though, and you lose your grasp on the METEOR FIST, too weak to continue-

    - and Bearex, battered but still standing, immediately kicks the nearest remaining box into the abyss once more. Cerberus finally rips his box into pieces-

    And your two minions advance on the last two boxes.

    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:51 No.16923328
    rolled 25 = 25


    Ancient ones, here our plea! Your humble servants ask that you give us the strength to enact your will. I know that we do not show you all the devotion you deserve, but should you grant us your blessing we shall not rest until the entire world bows before your glorious divinity!
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:52 No.16923330
    rolled 40 = 40

    Pokemon Battle.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:52 No.16923331
    rolled 17 = 17

    Make a huge katamari damacy like ball out of the forest around us and use it to crush these fucking boxes!
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:52 No.16923334
    rolled 17 = 17


    Ancient ones give us a 40!
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:53 No.16923341
    rolled 23 = 23

    What the fuck, Dice? I get a 40 for that?
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:55 No.16923361
    rolled 8 = 8


    CHECK FOR TRAPS. And by traps, I mean the inevitable boss that is lurking somewhere in the shadows. Barring that, gather our people and get to healing them pronto. We are going to need everyone we can get.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:56 No.16923370
    rolled 39 = 39


    Bearex I choose you!
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:57 No.16923380
    rolled 18 = 18


    Whoops. Ignore that post. I thought our guys had already smashed those buggers.

    Shadow teleport behind the distracted boxes and mantis punch them senseless.


    Really? REALLY?
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/12/11(Sat)00:57 No.16923381
    BEAREX! I choose you!

    It's super effective!
    BOX 1 fainted!

    It's not very effective...

    BOX 2 used BULLET SEED!
    It's not very effective...

    It's not very effective...

    But BOX 2 is at low health!
    Capture it?

    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)00:58 No.16923387
    rolled 21 = 21

    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:00 No.16923405
    rolled 34 = 34

    Yes, this is exactly what I wanted to happen! Capture box!
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:00 No.16923410
    RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR ITS WORKY ZAPPY BITS! Then, yes, once it is disarmed, capture the damned thing.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:00 No.16923414
         File1321077655.jpg-(96 KB, 600x787, 1256040451819.jpg)
    96 KB
    rolled 3 = 3


    ...And apparently the ancient ones loved watching 90s anime.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:01 No.16923416
    rolled 3 = 3

    Biomancy up a giant ball made out vines and use it to capture the last box.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:01 No.16923423
    rolled 10 = 10

    Whoops. Rollan.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:02 No.16923430
         File1321077752.jpg-(309 KB, 1600x1200, Mission_to_Saturn.jpg)
    309 KB
    rolled 23 = 23


    We shall summon the life-energies of the surrounding forests to entrap the cube. Life itself shall pour through the cube's metal frame and it shall resonate with the vibrations of the earth.

    With all life come death, and so shall we pulse entropic waves through it's metal core so that it will rust and know that death touches all things no matter what they are made of.

    These two inverse energies shall create a solar pulse that will be nigh-unbreakable for those not versed in the magic arts.

    Finally we shall ordain this magical ball with the might of the ancients, so that time itself will make these bonds last for eternity.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:03 No.16923437
    rolled 21 = 21


    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:04 No.16923440
    rolled 14 = 14


    And to finally consecrate the sacred orb of capturing we shall assault it with our fists, to make the bonds unbreakable under even the most extreme might.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:04 No.16923443
    rolled 21 = 21

    >next time stream we are upgrading the FUCK out of our spidy sense
    >adding 76 eyes
    >tremor sensitive paddings on our feet

    I am tired of getting ambushed because of trolling dice
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/12/11(Sat)01:05 No.16923451
    Bearex puts a giant foot on top of the metal box, shutting its lid and preventing it from using any of its attacks. Or moving.

    You have captured BOX 2, as long as Bearex doesn't actually move.

    ... right then. You take stock of your surroundings- there are more dead woodfolk and sunfangs than you'd like, to be honest, and most of the corpses look very much filled with holes. Or are burning.

    Aazz rises up out of the ground next to you, looking grim. "... we're working on getting most of the guys patched up. But- Razz ain't in a good way. Don't know if he's gonna make it," he says without any preamble. "We... fuck, we also can't find Seventeen. What's the word, Guardian?"

    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:06 No.16923460
    rolled 4 = 4

    Take flight and strafe the boxes while keeping a random tumbling flight pattern. Grapple them in swoops and sling them against the meteor at the speed of FUCK to crack them open. Use Bearex to run interference.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:07 No.16923471
    rolled 13 = 13

    Send Cere to find Seventeen.

    Use our biomancy to save Razz. Our ass spews the very stuff of life. We can fix him, make him better, faster, stronger than before.

    Keep Bearex on that box. We shall examine it later.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:08 No.16923476
    rolled 5 = 5

    Go about to extrude life webs on the wounded (Especially Razz), and send some able bodied men to find 17. Send Aazz and cerberus to guard the telaporter so we don't get jumped again.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:08 No.16923483
    rolled 25 = 25

    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:08 No.16923488
    rolled 7 = 7

    Biomancy Razz. Save Razz1
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:09 No.16923493
    rolled 22 = 22

    Use our calming aura to keep people calm while trying to save as many people as possible with our healing powers.
    Also order someone to stand guard at the teleporter at all times.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:09 No.16923495
    rolled 31 = 31

    Attend to Razz, assist his wounds with Biomancy. Have the fit collect eh wounded and get them prepped for some Blorp medical attention. Get a scounting party to search the nearby huts and surrounding area, if any more of these things are out there I want to know about it.

    Keep Bearex parked on the Tin Can and add some vines to ensure it stays shut. Then organise a search party and FIND 17!

    I want to know what the HELL those things were and he is the only mechanoid savvy party member.

    Also snack on the remains of one of the boxes. Technology this advanced denotes either we are woefully behind in our tech tree and someone have gone straight to Tier 3 OR power stones fuckery. If it is the latter we might harness some TIME STREAM.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:11 No.16923504
    rolled 16 = 16

    >ambiance in the after math of the battle
    >for those lost and the grim outlook of this new enemy

    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:11 No.16923505
    rolled 14 = 14


    Razz needs us. To healing.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:14 No.16923514
         File1321078448.jpg-(308 KB, 781x399, 1308883225981.jpg)
    308 KB
    rolled 11 = 11


    I understand now! The ancients did not bless us with a nat 40 because their scope extends far beyond mortal man's. Now we shall perform a feat of magic so mighty that all will hail us as their savior and will grant upon us undying loyalty.

    We must use our biomancy to mend every single wound, but not only heal but to improve. We shall augment every single tribesman, whether lizardman or woodfolk into an unholy abomination to better serve our masters from beyond the stars!
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/12/11(Sat)01:14 No.16923519
    Stopping the voting here!
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:14 No.16923523
    rolled 32 = 32



    Well nevermind then. Let's just heal them and see how that goes.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:16 No.16923537
    rolled 21 = 21

    WAIT. You got a 32!

    Hell, you posted within the same minute as oour glorious game master. CAN'T IT COUNT? PLEEEAAASE? BLORP?
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:18 No.16923547
    rolled 18 = 18

    I was never a fan of rerolling. It gives an unfair advantage to the current high roll and causes tension when people just same spam the same post until it wins.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/12/11(Sat)01:21 No.16923567

    You get right on those orders, snapping them out rapid-fire to your Wraithguard. Get the hale and hearty to transport those who aren't into the Meteor, and get all the remaining scouts and split them into two groups, one to do a sweep of the area and one to look for Seventeen because for the love of god you NEED that derpy forgeslug.

    Aazz salutes with a fist on his chest before sinking into the ground- and YOU wing it back to the Meteor as fast as you can, bringing the largest chunk of metal box with you.

    When you reach the Meteor's main cavern, you see a number of wounded already laid out along the path, being tended to by the leafdancers and some of the non-combatant personnel.

    -- you have no time to waste at the moment, though, and land in front of your Godspoken. Razz is paler than you've seen him before, and his eyes are flickering. You immediately sense small, metallic pellets in him, two cold objects snarled in his life force, one in his shoulder and the other in some organ you don't know the name of-

    - but you pump as much Biomancy into him as you can, and hope that you're not too late.

    Everyone... roll 1d40.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:22 No.16923576
    rolled 4 = 4


    Live, live you son of a bitch! You were our first friend!
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:23 No.16923577
    rolled 4 = 4

    What good is infinite power... if you cannot save those you love?
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:23 No.16923580
    rolled 39 = 39

    Don't give up man, come on.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:23 No.16923581
         File1321079018.jpg-(60 KB, 554x527, 1320491515026.jpg)
    60 KB
    rolled 35 = 35

    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:24 No.16923584
    rolled 7 = 7


    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:24 No.16923586
    rolled 32 = 32

    Your god still needs you, leafdancer!
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:24 No.16923587
    rolled 4 = 4


    You cannot die God spoken... you are my.... my....blorp
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:25 No.16923596
    rolled 9 = 9

    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:26 No.16923599
    rolled 26 = 26

    Herp! Gleep! Blorp, blorp!
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:26 No.16923601
    rolled 14 = 14


    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:26 No.16923604
    rolled 15 = 15


    Razz is now immune to bullets apparently.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:27 No.16923610
    Well fourteen and forty kinda sound alike. I understand how that mistake could be made.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:28 No.16923615
    rolled 39 = 39

    Going by the pattern, it seems the dice do not want Razz to live.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:29 No.16923616
         File1321079340.jpg-(19 KB, 500x500, 1320046543594.jpg)
    19 KB
    rolled 4 = 4



    >all these low rolls
    Ready the tissues
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:29 No.16923620

    What are you guys panicking for? WE HAVE TWO CRITS!
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:29 No.16923621
    ...Except they do, apparently. What the hell.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:29 No.16923623
    And like 8 rolls below 20!
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:30 No.16923625
    rolled 32 = 32


    >captcha: specific healing
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:30 No.16923627
    rolled 6 = 6

    Two 39's


    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:31 No.16923634
         File1321079471.png-(58 KB, 210x300, 1289269562639.png)
    58 KB
    rolled 29 = 29

    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:31 No.16923635
    rolled 1 = 1

    Friendship can outlive anything
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:31 No.16923639
         File1321079502.jpg-(66 KB, 470x368, 1320468563032.jpg)
    66 KB
    rolled 2 = 2

    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/12/11(Sat)01:32 No.16923645
    Stopping the rolls here!
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:33 No.16923653
         File1321079604.jpg-(884 KB, 1106x1500, 1314259032583.jpg)
    884 KB
    rolled 34 = 34


    >Immortal God Speaker


    Also this is now Razz.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:35 No.16923662
    rolled 7 = 7

    Dude look at the rolls. He is dead ; ;
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:36 No.16923670
    rolled 14 = 14


    OP goes with the -HIGHEST- Rolls out of all the posts.

    Hes alive, better than ever, and possibly immortal.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:38 No.16923680
    rolled 8 = 8

    >.. if you cannot save those you love?
    >Implying we love anyone

    I say let that fucker die, I never liked him anyway.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:38 No.16923683
    rolled 38 = 38

    The way he asked for rolls I get the feeling he is going with the overall rolls and not relying on a single post.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/12/11(Sat)01:40 No.16923699
         File1321080009.png-(230 KB, 290x330, 1318443262837.png)
    230 KB
    Well, I said EVERYONE roll d40, and...

    >4, 4, 39, 35, 7, 32, 4, 9, 26, 14, 15, 39, 4, 32, 6, 29, 1, 2

    >18 dice rolled

    >302/720 = 41%
    >less than 50%

    ... I've got some bad news.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:40 No.16923701
    rolled 7 = 7


    The system has always been that he picks the highest rolls made before voting ends, on special occasions such as DODGING A FUCKTON OF LASERS or doing Multiple attacks he uses all the rolls.

    This is most likely one of the times he uses the highest rolls.

    Otherwise that would be retarded and not fair at all.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:42 No.16923719
    rolled 4 = 4

    Whenever he asked for a doging, perceptiom, or group of rolls to determine a pre-selected action he always gave a number of rolls he would take in the order they appear then add the math. this one he just said everyone roll. I get the feeling this is going to be what the overall rolls came out as. Otherwise the chances of scoring a really high or really low in a post and getting a crit is way too high without a limit....

    And the post above yours
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:44 No.16923743
         File1321080280.jpg-(126 KB, 500x500, 6455463546.jpg)
    126 KB
    rolled 19 = 19


    Dammit dice gods
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:45 No.16923752
    rolled 3 = 3





    I... I guess he's joining the Wraithguard until we can properly revive him and Aazz... Oh, fuck, we can't even get him in the Wraithguard yet because we don't have enough necromantic power!

    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:46 No.16923759
    rolled 10 = 10

    Well, I think we all know why this happened.

    We strayed from the path of brotastic leader, and angered the dice. They have chose to express their displeasure and
    mock us.

    We should take this as a lesson.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:50 No.16923787
    rolled 20 = 20

    Yes, that opportunistic men will twist tragic happenstances to reflect their agenda and pass it off as the 'Will of God'.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:52 No.16923800
    rolled 6 = 6

    You should have acted.
    They're already here.
    The Elder Rolls told of their return.
    Their defeat, was merely a delay.
    Til the time after sidewaysdiskmountain opened,
    When the sons of Blorprim would spill their own blood.
    But no-one wanted to believe.
    Believe they even existed.
    And when the truth finally dawns,
    It dawns in CRITICAL FAILURES.
    There's ONE they fear.
    In their tongue, he's /tg/:
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/12/11(Sat)01:53 No.16923807
    You blast Razz's inert form with the essence of life, trying to get him back on his feet; the moment you stop, the glow dies back down. You feel his life force draining as if you'd never used Biomancy at ALL.

    Again, then! You grit your teeth and send more pulses into his body; your powers cause him to jerk slightly, and his eyes and mouth are glowing green. Your power trails off; you're shaking, and you look down at him again, straining your ears for any sign of his usual nervous tic, or that voice of his, the one that's always nervous unless he's relaying your words to a crowd of his peers-

    - Razz continues to weaken; you can barely feel ANYTHING from him now.

    You stagger back towards him and place your arms on his chest, preparing another blast- but Razz shifts slightly, laying a hand on your head. Your Godspoken, still wearing that silly cobweb cape over one shoulder, cracks his eyes open, barely able to focus on you.

    "Guar... dian...... it's... okay. 'M not... scared." Razz's head falls back, and he stares up at the ceiling, his breathing growing fainter. "... not scared. Guardian... just protect... the sun..."

    You hear last rattling breath of the first sunfang you ever spoke to, and before you can even blink, Razz grows still.

    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:54 No.16923818
    rolled 20 = 20

    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:55 No.16923820
    rolled 6 = 6

    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:56 No.16923832
    rolled 12 = 12

    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:57 No.16923835
    rolled 12 = 12


    A single "blorp" followed by a moment of silence for our fallen comrade. Unfortunately, there is no rest for the wicked. Heal everyone else we can. We lost one of our best today, and I'll be damned if we lose any more.
    >> dice+1d40 Inquisitorial Librarian 11/12/11(Sat)01:57 No.16923841
         File1321081052.jpg-(345 KB, 539x1119, At first 2.jpg)
    345 KB
    We shall shed tears for Razz, and then... then...

    We shall have a memorial built. A timeless creation to Razz, our dearest companion and advisor, Razz the Godspeaker.

    For all men shall look at this work and weep for the loyalty of Razz.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 11/12/11(Sat)01:58 No.16923844
    rolled 40 = 40

    Damnit dice gods, not now. Do not mock the sacrifice of Razz. (Including roll for above action)
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:59 No.16923853
    rolled 31 = 31

    You see. The dice want us to remember. The dice killed him, and want us to remember.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:59 No.16923854
    rolled 32 = 32

    ...Cocoon the corpse with webs, such that it is preserved in perfect (or near enough) condition. Also, the next time we get a Power Upgrade, we are choosing Necromancy, and Razz comes back as a wraith.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)01:59 No.16923857
    rolled 23 = 23

    I know it is difficult but we cannot delay. Move onto the others and begin calming and healing what we can. Leave the less serious to the mundane method of medical care so we can conserve energy.

    Rest in peace old friend. I will cradle the sun itself in my protective embrace by the end of this. You will not have died in vain.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:02 No.16923872
         File1321081331.jpg-(326 KB, 890x1024, quetzacoatl.jpg)
    326 KB
    rolled 21 = 21









    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:02 No.16923875
    rolled 26 = 26

    I fear we cannot. Tears aside that post got me thinking. Why couldn't we save him? We've done much greater things without fail, why were we not able to save a single Sunfang with ALL our power?

    Those bullets did something to him. Neutralizing our powers or absorbing them for all we know. I think anything touched by those boxes will be beyond our control.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:03 No.16923881
         File1321081398.jpg-(160 KB, 700x474, 1287207475723.jpg)
    160 KB
    rolled 19 = 19


    We immeditealy start eating his body so that even in death he might serve us.

    Also we need to instruct our slaves to create a monument to the ancients in the meteorite main chamber which they are required to bow down to every day and give offerings of food(which we shall eat).

    A black monolith will do. For now.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:04 No.16923890
         File1321081453.png-(62 KB, 1500x1298, 1315502507593.png)
    62 KB
    rolled 6 = 6


    It WOULD be what he would have wanted.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:05 No.16923897
    rolled 21 = 21

    >We shall have a memorial built.

    I agree with this. The memorial should be made out of the bones of those who failed us and be wrapped with the skin of the slaves who proved unworthy to bask in the ancient's radiance.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:07 No.16923910
    rolled 40 = 40

    we sale make a monument to his loyalty and trust
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:07 No.16923912
    rolled 38 = 38


    Wait a minute. Why don't we just fucking revive him as a zombie or some shit? Why don't we revive EVERYONE who died in the attack as our new undead warband?
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/12/11(Sat)02:08 No.16923920
    Weep? You don't have time to weep. You are the Guardian of the Earth. You have ended many lives, most of them woodfolk and crystal-favored, and you command two great titans of bone. You have stopped a meteor with nothing but your own powers! You defeated the other crystal-favored, and you know that the ancients above are the true gods. You will defeat that false god, and lead the sunfangs to glory. You... you...

    ... you are just...

    ... you blink rapidly because you cannot see straight. For some reason, there is water in your eyes, and it is making everything blurry.

    You wish it would stop.

    In frustration at your own powerlessness... your self-control slips, and you slam the ground with your forelegs, a pulse of Biomancy radiating outward. You ignore it and quickly tend to your other injured subjects, alternating between webs and your own power. Once that's done, you cocoon up Razz for.... for something. You know that it just felt right.

    It is only after it is all done that you realize that everyone is staring at the back of the chamber, half in tears. You turn...

    ... and you see a larger-than-life statue in the shape of your Godspoken, made out of the trees, forged into a substance that you didn't even know existed on this planet. It's not a noble statue by any means; it's not charging into battle, or wielding a weapon, or doing anything but standing tall and looking up at the sky, but-

    - the statue of Razz is standing next to where you were planning on putting in a throne, and shall loyally serve as your right hand man as long as Sunfang Meteor shall hold.

    ... shit. You're having trouble seeing again.

    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:09 No.16923923
    rolled 3 = 3


    Necromancy limits.

    >Necromancy, Lvl. 4
    > Dominion over 3 undead at a time.
    > 1) Aazz, 2) Bearex, 3) Cerebus

    That being said, we really do need to patch everyone else up. The monument can wait a few hours. We will never let him be forgotten.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:09 No.16923927
    rolled 27 = 27


    OP wouldn't of mad such a big deal about Razz dying unless he planned to make it permanent. The mysterious loss of potency of our powers is just a hint I think. Whatever those metal boxes are made out of, it seems to be ANTI-Crystal eaters.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:12 No.16923946
    rolled 2 = 2

    Personally guard the portal until they find 17 and you can get a head count. Make sure this dose not happen again.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:13 No.16923955
    rolled 37 = 37

    Exploratory SCIENCE!

    We have a bone to pick with our captured garbage pail.

    I really REALLY hope it can register pain.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:14 No.16923960
    rolled 10 = 10

    This, once again, if we have time for it.

    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:15 No.16923962
    rolled 36 = 36

    We can't do science until we find 17.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:16 No.16923968
    rolled 28 = 28

    Oh we can do CRUDE science. Besides, the scouts will find him when they find him. There is nothing else for us to do up here except lament.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:19 No.16923983
         File1321082348.png-(802 KB, 800x547, enterthelegend.png)
    802 KB
    rolled 35 = 35


    As much as it pains me to say, I think you are right. Our friend has entered the legend. Whether he comes back or not is up to our dedication and the ancients will. But it will not be an easy path, and chance for success is probably minimal. But when has that ever stopped us?
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/12/11(Sat)02:21 No.16924000
    The healed sunfangs and woodfolk start picking up the pieces and dealing with the other dead in their own ways. You take one last look at Razz's forlorn body, which you placed at the foot of his statue, before taking wing and leaving the Meteor...

    ... to land in front of your captured metal box, which your faithful bone minions have kept an eye on it (or a foot, in Bearex's case). You HISS at the box, mantling your wings threateningly; the box temporarily stops thrashing, only to start again with renewed fervor at the sound of your voice.

    ... strange. It DID react. Now what shall you do with the thing?

    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:22 No.16924009
    rolled 19 = 19

    It worked when we were in the cave

    It worked when we were fighting a Bear

    It worked when we killed the Astral Shark

    It will work now

    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:24 No.16924026
    rolled 4 = 4

    Tear it apart. Figure out what makes its metal guts tick. If the lid opens only one one side, then stay to the side of it and rip the side plate away first. Since the laser-shooting appendages aimed forward and popped up through the lid, they could presumably fire on us again if we were to rip the front plate away first. Even then, stay on guard, because for all we know the appendages could turn to face the side as well.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:25 No.16924028
    rolled 20 = 20

    Examine the exterior of the box, use our overdeveloped brain to try to figure out what it is and how it works.
    Wait for 17 before we do any invasive examination.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:26 No.16924038
    rolled 12 = 12

    Thump it. Not hard enough to do any damage, but enough to get a reaction.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:27 No.16924046
    rolled 31 = 31

    Bite it

    See what happens
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:28 No.16924048
    rolled 19 = 19

    Make it live...

    Make it live so that we may speak to it...

    So that it may know fear...

    So that it may truly die.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:30 No.16924058
    rolled 10 = 10

    We need an IMMEDIATE dose of man the fuck up. The first three tribsmen, woodfolk or lizardman, we look at, excluding commanders, are getting sacrificed to the ancients.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:31 No.16924071
    rolled 3 = 3


    We need Seventeen to inspect it, see how it works and see if he can reproduce it. Secondly we need to destroy that teleporter. We can't have something like that open at our flank, it's too much of a liability.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:32 No.16924074
    rolled 12 = 12



    These fuckkin low scores, mang.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:32 No.16924075
    rolled 12 = 12

    Fuck you, random dickbaggery is what made the ancients abandon us in the first place.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/12/11(Sat)02:32 No.16924080
    PARASITES AWAY! You fire a mouth-hook at the box... which actually does manage to puncture the exterior shell and hang on.

    ... you might as well have mouth-hooked a sword because you are seriously not feeling a goddamned thing.

    You decide to look over the exterior of the box (save for the parasite that's wriggling on it). It's exactly the same size as a forgeslug, assuming that Seventeen is indicative for his race. Seriously, it's got the same blunted edges and everything; ignoring everything else, the only difference is that the metal is completely smooth, seamless, and without any (not parasite-or-T-Rex-foot-related) irregularities.

    If the lid wasn't trying to pop off, you'd have assumed that there were no openings. Kind of like the disc that you saw on the mountain.

    In frustration, you bite the box. You actually try biting the box.

    ... and you are extremely surprised when your teeth slice straight through as if it was flesh. It's still metal, but for some reason, you can chew it. Almost as if...

    ... almost as if it were MADE of crystal. Weak, not nearly as potent crystal, otherwise you would've felt it, but crystal nonetheless.

    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:34 No.16924088
    rolled 15 = 15

    Obviously we need to upgrade all of our sunfangs and loyal elves into something more survivable.

    3 max upgrades per should give us some room to make them better.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:34 No.16924092
    rolled 9 = 9

    Devour it! DEVOUR THEM ALL, IN FACT! Leave but one, preferrably intact, for 17 to inspect; retrieve the rest and eat them!
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:34 No.16924094
         File1321083298.jpg-(41 KB, 231x251, shutit.jpg)
    41 KB
    rolled 3 = 3

    >Fuck you, random dickbaggery is what made the ancients abandon us in the first place.

    Son, you've no idea what the ancients want in the slightest. It was obviously the ancients will that he get killed and our extremely lame response to his demise is what caused us to fall out of favor with the ancients.

    The ancients reward acts of bloodthirstiness, had we done something badass instead of crying like little bitches I'm sure we'd be seeing ALOT more 40's.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:35 No.16924097
    rolled 4 = 4

    Find all the scraps from the battle. Eat them. Don't eat this one though, this one we save for 17 to examine.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:36 No.16924105
    rolled 14 = 14

    Check to make sure it isn't fucking seventeen then maybe eat it or something.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:36 No.16924106
    rolled 2 = 2


    Leave this one "alive" for the moment. Go eat the rest we smashed and come back. Maybe get Steelbark over here to see if he can use telepathy on it. It might be more willing to "talk" after seeing us devour all of its compatriots remains.

    Also, where is 17. I am getting worried about him being gone so long.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/12/11(Sat)02:36 No.16924109
    ACTUALLY, hold that thought, I just realized that it's 2:30 am and the thread is autosaging because we have like 300+ replies to it.

    Posting a thread-ender, then we're picking up on Sunday!
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:37 No.16924110
    rolled 18 = 18

    Sod off, you mindless berserker. This is not becoming another Heresy Quest. We do not need a Khornefag.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:37 No.16924115
    rolled 23 = 23

    Eat the dead boxes, EAT AND EVOLVE!
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:38 No.16924117
    rolled 29 = 29


    Wait! We shouldn't eat them yet. We need a feast to be held in the late razz's honor, where we shall gourge ourselves on tons and tons of food. This is the only way to bulk up and gain more powers. The metal boxes shall be used as seasoning to help instigate evolution.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:39 No.16924134
    rolled 1 = 1

    The start of all this misery was our random Dickbag deathmatch, which the ancients immediately rectified by allowing us to bring the wronged parties back to life. After that, the only crit we received was for a joke suggestion. I do not think they could make their displeasure for such stupidly bloodthirsty actions any more clear.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:40 No.16924139
    rolled 18 = 18

    He either went through the portal or we're chewing on him.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:42 No.16924155
         File1321083720.jpg-(188 KB, 357x400, STOPLIKING.jpg)
    188 KB
    rolled 34 = 34

    >Sod off, you mindless berserker. This is not becoming another Heresy Quest. We do not need a Khornefag.

    Wow, you must be the same kid from a few threads ago who was crying about how we weren't "TEH BAD GUIZ" and kept quoting heresy quest, as if that is in anyway relevant to this thread, which it is not.

    Not only that but i've been in this thread since it's conception, i'm not leaving because some idiot doesn't know how to follow the sequence of events. Like I told you last time most of our actions involve killing and violence to some degree, the ones that don't are the exceptions and even these aren't "good" actions.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/12/11(Sat)02:43 No.16924163
    Before you can decide what to do with the crystal(?!) box and the remains of its fellows, the scouts return. They.. probably have important news, since they're RUNNING AS FAST AS THEY CAN TOWARDS YOU.

    The first scout, of the group sent to secure the area, is wide-eyed and panicking. "Guardian! The- the teleporter! It's red! It's glowing motherfucking RED! I don't- I don't even fucking know what- it's really goddamn scary, and there are weird sparks, and, and- words! Words on the teleporter now!"

    The second scout speaks up. "Found Seventeen! He's- he's in the pit! Underground! I mean, we- we saw the boxes that Bearex fucking punted into the pit, and something tore them apart, looks like they were shot up by burning metal balls like Seventeen's, he, he went into a side-tunnel! Fuckin' heard him... crying. Laughing. Both."

    You stare at one scout. Then at the other.

    This is not shaping up to be one of your better days.

    >THREAD END- To be continued!
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:43 No.16924165
    rolled 15 = 15


    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/12/11(Sat)02:47 No.16924195
         File1321084020.jpg-(285 KB, 1200x1821, 1319896993237.jpg)
    285 KB
    As usual, thanks for following this quest, guys- I've archived the thread and will be starting up again on Sunday at the usual time, 8 pm EST.

    Thoughts, criticism, questions, inconsistency-noting, or whatever the hell you guys can come up with are always welcome.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:47 No.16924197
    rolled 4 = 4

    So tell me, one who has been here as long as I, where would your path take us. What interesting things would happen in you world of "eat everything, The Quest?"

    Look at this poor, bloodthirsty soul, who knows not what character development is.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:48 No.16924208
    rolled 7 = 7

    Did you intend for us to get our ass kicked this badly?
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:52 No.16924223
    rolled 18 = 18

    As the guy who made the roll that spared Razz from our level 1 mouth hooks long ago, I am pouring one out for my imaginary homie. He played his part like a true bro.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:53 No.16924233
    rolled 33 = 33


    Moderation and self control will earn us far more than "HURR HAVE THEM BEAT EACH OTHER WITH ROCKS TO SPEAK TO US." That isn't "engaging in actions involving violence and killing with a purpose," it's "engaging in pointless violence because lolgrimderp." It isn't that you're going for violence, it's that the violence has no point. You know. Trying to get us to slaughter the entire Woodfolk population that could be useful to us, when we need every body we can get because HOLY FUCK A SHOGGOTH DEMIGOD IS COMING TO SLAP OUR SHIT. The hurr durr rock death match.

    For cripes' sake, the general sentiment is against your gittery, not just my own. I'm not telling you to stop going for pragmatic or ruthless actions or going on about 'good' or 'bad.' I'm telling you to stop pushing us towards stupid evil acts like that retarded death match and engaging in genocide for Lebensraum when up to that point we'd been campaigning to free the woodfolk and take them under our banner.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)02:57 No.16924259
    Why is that every quest I grow to love always ends up with some underage lolKhorne faggots trying to ruin it for the rest of us? Seriously, it's happened in happened in both Heretic quests, it's starting to happen here. The only quests I love that seem to be spared this are the ones that break the record for sillyness (lookin at you ZergQuest and Abaddon Quest bros, even if Abaddon Quest has a heavy dose of faggotry and perversion mixed into it)
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/12/11(Sat)03:00 No.16924268
         File1321084816.jpg-(104 KB, 512x512, 1318496520861.jpg)
    104 KB
    Sort of. I wanted things to be more of a challenge, and I had been planning the metal boxes for a pretty long time. And also for this to be a step up in difficulty- we're starting the fight against a big hitter. So some asskicking was to be expected.

    ... I didn't expect or mean for it to be or feel like a curbstomp, though. How did the balance feel this time around?

    ... he came a long way from random NPC #8, to setting the magic/abilities of the sunfangs and then eventually becoming one of the few who could talk to and for us.

    Just goes to show that you never know with these kinds of games.

    ... man, it's like you guys are the shoulder angel/demon for the salamander.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)03:04 No.16924289
         File1321085082.jpg-(19 KB, 512x288, salamander angel.jpg)
    19 KB
    rolled 2 = 2

    You don't say.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)03:06 No.16924302
    This felt like we got our shit completely ruined. I like it, we've never really had that happen before and I think it's a good experience.

    As a aside, I don't think the entire thread has been archived. It stops at the point where we're trying to save Razz.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)03:15 No.16924361
         File1321085748.jpg-(82 KB, 530x597, 1300902538157.jpg)
    82 KB

    Getting our shit rocked could turn out to be a rewarding experience, even if it somehow felt to me slightly in the favour of the boxes.

    Also, I'm not really sure that I like the entire thing you did in


    It just seems kinda....dumb, to be honest, we went from using the post with the highest roll number for our effectiveness, to using EVERYONE'S ROLL AVERAGED TOGETHER. Which to be honest, doesn't make alot of sense to me. I don't care that this cause Razz to die, he would have probably died somewhere down the road anyway. It's just...it felt like that was done purposefully against us, I mean fuck, EVERYONE KNOWS that /tg/ dice are fickle as fuck and almost always roll low when you need to roll high. We have a fucking meme for that.

    However, when you use multiple dice for situations like


    It makes a -lot- of sense, mainly because rolling a single dodge for multiple attacks? Doesn't really make sense. But averaging together a fuckton of dice for a SINGLE action? Not so much.

    But all that aside, was a good, if tragic thread, and I love this quest so much and fully support us going Diplomatic BroChampion, FIGHTAN is inevitable so that should appease the Khorne faggots that seem to infiltrate every quest ever, and JUST ENOUGH management and psuedo-politics to please the people who enjoy those things with a heavy dose of controlling our own actions and dialogue that interest other people.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)03:20 No.16924388

    Typed all that out with my single good hand and I doubt OP is still here.

    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)03:21 No.16924393
    rolled 22 = 22

    > the general sentiment

    The general sentiment is why we've murdered first and devoured the dead bodies later. Maybe you should go back and read the quest threads, but the "WEZ NOT EBIL" group are the ones who are out-of-character.

    > I'm telling you to stop pushing us towards stupid evil acts like that retarded death match and engaging in genocide for Lebensraum when up to that point we'd been campaigning to free the woodfolk and take them under our banner.

    I didn't come into this thread until after that post but I whole-heatedly agree with that anon's actions. We're not some manipulative suave bastard, which I have no qualms against becoming if the dice rolls make it so, but right now we're a genocidal, unholy abomination in service to terrible, terrible god-like beings trapped in the furthest reaches of the void.

    But whatever, I'm not going to waste my time arguing this with you. It really doesn't matter what is said it call comes down to the dice rolls.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)03:25 No.16924417
    rolled 18 = 18

    ... But we're in the service of an elf in the sky named Gaia. Not Azathoth. And we've never been bent on genocide, only on- after taking control of the Sunfangs- getting to the top of the pile. And genocide does not serve that purpose at all.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/12/11(Sat)03:44 No.16924510
         File1321087460.jpg-(74 KB, 777x743, 1320755807841.jpg)
    74 KB
    That's good! Now I just... need to find the balance between that and the steamrolling we were doing in the last few threads, and we'll probably be set.

    Glad you liked the multiple-dice-for-shitloads-of-dodges thing, and that seemed to work pretty well. As for the multiple-dice-for-one-action...

    Sometime last week (which was a hellish blur of papers and due dates), someone noted that in EVO Quest, we were steamrolling a LOT of things due to the dice rolling system I was using. So I ended up doing a LOT of experimentation this time.

    I thought-
    -up off the cuff, since I really wanted that to feel like a collaborative action. Kind of like mashing the 'A' button a fucktrillion times to get the gauge up past a certain point, which was exactly what Blorp was doing with pumping Biomancy into Razz. And because he's kind of a key character who's been important for a long time, I felt like everyone should have a hand in how he fared, no matter what.

    'Course, averaging dice like that does run into the fickle dice problem, but I was trying to avoid the inevitable crit problem; if I let in enough dice, we'd be bound to get a crit or close crit eventually. The resurrection roll ended up being a sea of single digit rolls and two mini-crits...

    On hindsight, I feel like one of the biggest problems with how I handled it was that I didn't actually tell ANYONE how the rolls would be calculated until it was over, and that- like you said- it was a COMPLETE departure from how things usually are. Or maybe that the benchmark number (50%) was set too high.

    tl;dr This was a special situation, and I'll 1) be careful with how I use averaged rolls, 2) probably save it for fuck-hard efforts, or 3) just stick to the tried-and-true "first X rolls, success at Y or greater."

    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/12/11(Sat)03:45 No.16924514
         File1321087525.jpg-(22 KB, 430x448, 1320179526923.jpg)
    22 KB
    >RE: arguing about morals
    ... honestly, the only real request that I have is to keep the debates (relatively) civil, but you guys have been doing an alright job of that so far.

    Not sure I'd like a full-on, no-holds-barred flame war to ignite off of whether a mutant salamander Aztec godling thing is mostly good with a touch of vindictiveness or mostly evil with a pinch of being an okay guy.
    >> Anonymous 11/12/11(Sat)03:55 No.16924567

    Rereading my post I feel slightly ashamed at how I sounded, I wasn't in anyway trying to imply that you were at fault or that you did it to go against us, so if you ever though that I apologize. As for what you said about limiting the %age rolls I can agree with that, use it for special shit like say, if we took that mouth laser upgrade we could use it for just how much we can charge it up and go from there about how much damage it does to whatever. But yeah, I would like for us to go back to the X number of rolls with X or above success rolls, easier on you I would believe, easier on us because it won't slowly crush our souls if we see a fuckton of rolls get low results.

    Again I must say that I love you, and the quest that you are doing bro, I don't often participate in quest threads (I was Lizard Moon Vivec dude just so you know) due to my fucked hand causing complications but I try to participate as much as I can here, I have fun here. Shame that Razz died, but it would have probably happened one way or another.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 11/12/11(Sat)10:43 No.16926284
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 11/12/11(Sat)11:21 No.16926479
         File1321114911.jpg-(16 KB, 122x132, 1319954876459.jpg)
    16 KB
    Pff, don't worry about it, no apologies necessary.

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