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  • File : 1321166315.jpg-(42 KB, 509x339, al-quran.jpg)
    42 KB IRL artifacts Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)01:38 No.16933694  
    let's talk about how cool shit from real lift stacks up to the stuff in fiction

    >The "Blood Qur'an" is a copy of the Islamic holy book, the Qur'an, written in the blood of the former Iraqi president Saddam Hussein over the course of two years in the late 1990s. Saddam commissioned the book in 1997 on his 60th birthday, reportedly to give thanks to God for helping him through many "conspiracies and dangers".

    >He explained his reasons for commissioning the book in a letter published by the Iraqi state media in September 2000: "My life has been full of dangers in which I should have lost a lot of blood ... but since I have bled only a little, I asked somebody to write God's words with my blood in gratitude."

    >After his fall from power in 2003, the Qur'an was removed from public display. It is currently the focus of debate about what to do with it, as its manner of production is regarded as blasphemous but its destruction could also be seen as blasphemous.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)01:42 No.16933721
    Wonder why it's blasphemous.
    Seems like a pretty decent thing to do for a maniac.
    I mean figuratively speaking, the guy is obviously did some pretty fucked up things, but at least he appreciates his own mortality instead of being so drunk off power he considers himself a god (you know, like kim jong il.)
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)01:43 No.16933726
    I want this book.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)01:46 No.16933752
    Writing something in blood is normally frowned upon.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)01:58 No.16933804
         File1321167534.jpg-(152 KB, 800x600, ff.jpg)
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    shard of Durendal, sword of Roland, currently lodged in a cliff somewhere in France

    he was the right hand paladin of Charlemagne; that's right, this dude was basically chief asskicker of the dude who came close to reuniting Europe after the fall of the Roman Empire

    are you a bad enough dude to reforge Durendal and conquer Europe?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)01:59 No.16933810
         File1321167570.png-(987 KB, 800x803, Quartz_crystal.png)
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    The world's largest, flawless quartz sphere may be the perfect scrying tool, were you able to liberate it from the National Museum of Natural History in DC.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:01 No.16933817
    brb preparing a heist
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:02 No.16933821
    >its manner of production is regarded as blasphemous but its destruction could also be seen as blasphemous.

    This is what happens when your entire religion hinges on the idea of "We'll have a centralised authority eventually at some point but only a guy who doesn't want to be and won't come forward to be and will be unanimously acknowedged by all our varied leaders to be worthy and who might not even be muslim to begin with any way."
    Can't get any shit together.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 11/13/11(Sun)02:02 No.16933823
    Alright. You guys know what we have to do. Time to go dungeon delving.

    I say we loot these artifacts.

    The Blood Qur'an, the Shard of Durandal, and the Flawless Crystal Sphere. They are there for the taking, for the man with enough courage.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:04 No.16933830

    >Time to go dungeon delving

    Except none of these artifacts are in dungeons. Closest would be the blade of Durandal, but I can't imagine that goes COMPLETELY unsupervised.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:06 No.16933836
    Blood Qu'Ran - Spellbook (Warlock)
    Shard of Durandal - Artifact Longsword (Paladin)
    Flawless Crystal Sphere - Magic Orb (Wizard)

    now we just need a thief and a ranger to have a complete adventuring party and be able to save the world
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:08 No.16933845
    > Flawless Crystal Sphere - Magic Orb (Wizard)
    Good luck having a wizard lug around that 100+ pound rock.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:09 No.16933848
         File1321168162.jpg-(67 KB, 520x520, hope diamond.jpg)
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    Look everybody in the biz thinks about heisting the Hope Diamond at one point in their career. Nearly ten grams, a color that we still don't have the language to describe and the second-most visited exhibit on the planet after the Mona Lisa? And that's not even bringing in the backstory. You grab that? It's boat time.

    Don't waste another moment even thinking about it. The Smithsonian? That's just bad mojo, and I'm not even talking about the security or the full force of the U.S. Federal Government coming down on your ass. The Hope itself is bad mojo. It ain't on exhibit because it's pretty. It's on exhibit because even touching that thing is worse than the worst possible bad luck you can think of.

    It's not being exhibited. It's being contained.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:10 No.16933853
    Would Tizona count?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:12 No.16933866
    >Good luck having a wizard lug around that 100+ pound rock.

    Ogre Wizard?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:12 No.16933867
    I came, I saw, I was unimpressed. A pretty bauble, and not that pretty with a layer of smeared glass between us.

    They're just stories, and it's just a rock. Now, you take something like those famous gem-studded eggs...
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:13 No.16933874
         File1321168405.jpg-(96 KB, 600x400, terry_pratchett_meteorite_swor(...).jpg)
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    The Meteor Shard Blade of Terry Pratchett

    On 31 December 2008 it was announced that Pratchett was to be knighted (as a Knight Bachelor) in the Queen's 2009 New Year Honours. He formally received the accolade at Buckingham Palace on 18 February 2009. Afterwards he said, "You can't ask a fantasy writer not to want a knighthood. You know, for two pins I'd get myself a horse and a sword." In late 2009, he did make himself a sword, with the help of his friends. He told a Times Higher Education interviewer that "'At the end of last year I made my own sword. I dug out the iron ore from a field about 10 miles away - I was helped by interested friends. We lugged 80 kilos of iron ore, used clay from the garden and straw to make a kiln, and lit the kiln with wildfire by making it with a bow.' Colin Smythe, his long-term friend and agent, donated some pieces of meteoric iron - 'thunderbolt iron has a special place in magic and we put that in the smelt, and I remember when we sawed the iron apart it looked like silver. Everything about it I touched, handled and so forth ... And everything was as it should have been, it seemed to me"

    Since he isn't allowed to carry a sword he has hid it "somewhere safe". my guess is that he'll take it to his grave.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:14 No.16933881
    the only reason it has any significance is because a story goes with it. without the story it's just precious stones that anyone can replicate.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:14 No.16933884
    Cold iron?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:15 No.16933886
    >Except none of these artifacts are in dungeons. Closest would be the blade of Durandal, but I can't imagine that goes COMPLETELY unsupervised.

    and you call yourself a roleplayer!

    EVERYTHING is a dungeon if you look hard enough

    that girl you like? her house? dungeon. father is a blind cave ogre, mother is a harpy, little brother is a pesky goblin

    school? one big dungeon.

    bank? dungeon with lots of gold but your lockpick skill will never be high enough

    sex dungeon? dungeon with sex...the bad kind
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:16 No.16933891
    Don't be stupid, there are no dungeons in Delta Green.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:17 No.16933897
         File1321168658.jpg-(48 KB, 469x599, 469px-Constellation_Faberge_eg(...).jpg)
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    It can't just be ANY Fabergé Egg. Thousands were made, you know? All gorgeous. Most were tiny, like necklaces. No, most people want one of the 42 surviving eggs of the 50 made for Tsar Nicholas II before he and his family were assassinated.

    But it's the eight missing ones that hold the most interest.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:18 No.16933905
    >Cold iron?

    Nah, it was smelted. It's no longer cold.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:20 No.16933910

    I always assumed he made the thing specifically as a tool for his inevitable suicide/euthanasia. Christ, imagine the sort of lore that'd go into the damn thing if he did actually kill himself with it?

    Forged from meteorite and bathed in the blood of its creator. What'll happen to it, I wonder? Imagine if it was somehow used to kill EVERYONE involved in its creation. Dear god, we'd have an actual cursed sword on our hands.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:21 No.16933914
    Anyone here been in that big fancy vault the Russians have set up in St Peters? You could take all you wanted and still leave a fortune in that.

    And a few eggs are there too.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:22 No.16933918
    >a color that we still don't have the language to describe

    It's indigo.

    You're welcome.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:23 No.16933925
    Nah it's more of an azure-like color...
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:24 No.16933926
         File1321169055.jpg-(24 KB, 400x266, Codex Gigas.jpg)
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    codex gigas for those with a religious bent
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:25 No.16933932
    do relics count as artifacts?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:27 No.16933936
    Could you argue that nuclear warheads are "relics"?

    >Sought by many that desire great power, these devices are capable of removing cities from the landscape.
    >Those that do exist are well guarded, but some have leaked out into the world of crime and corruption.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:27 No.16933937
         File1321169238.jpg-(180 KB, 1536x783, Voynich_Manuscript_(170).jpg)
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    There's always the crowd favorite, the Voynich Manuscript. Estimated to be from the 15th century, 240 vellum pages, most with illustrations, and seeming to be about plants and herbs and their medicinal properties.

    Except none of the drawings match any known species of plants and the text is in a - so far - untranslatable cipher.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:27 No.16933939
    The scottish have so many Irish Elk skeletons in their castles and museums and such. I'm sure they wouldn't miss one.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:27 No.16933940
    Blood Qu'Ran - Spellbook (Warlock)
    Shard of Durandal - Artifact Longsword (Paladin)
    Flawless Crystal Sphere - Magic Orb (Wizard)
    Meteor Shard Blade - Masterwork Adamantium Shortsword (Fighter)

    The Hope Diamond
    The 8 Lost Fabergée eggs
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:27 No.16933943
    As part of the efforts to replace the definition of the kilogram with one based on natural constants (instead of having a standard kilogram weight like today), a man named Achim Leistner did his best to make a perfectly spherical silicon ball. He got it to the point where the sphere, if scaled up to the size of the earth, would have a height difference from the deepest valley to the highest peak of only four meters. (A quick bit of math and I get that to about 30nm for th actual sphere, or about 300 atoms.)

    No machine was that precise. So he worked by hand.

    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:28 No.16933944
    How about the horn of the last black rhino?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:29 No.16933950
    the a lot of catholic churchs have skeletal remains of saints.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:29 No.16933951
    Blood Qu'Ran - Spellbook (Warlock)
    Shard of Durandal - Artifact Longsword (Paladin)
    Flawless Crystal Sphere - Magic Orb (Wizard)
    Meteor Shard Blade - Masterwork Adamantium Shortsword (Fighter)
    Codex Gigas - Prayer Book (Cleric)

    The Hope Diamond
    The 8 Lost Fabergée eggs

    Keep it up and we'll be able to write a adventure out of this...
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:29 No.16933953
    It's also a term for meteoric iron. And steel when steel was a bitch to make properly in massive quantities with little variance.

    and I have to wait and look for something to contribute.
    >> Ekoi !PpcsYfrVrw 11/13/11(Sun)02:29 No.16933955
    The standard for the Kilogram is quite the modern artifact.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:30 No.16933960
    >Write the Qur'an with poop.

    >Problem mohammedans?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:31 No.16933964
    >>but its destruction could also be seen as blasphemous.

    That doesn't make any sense. The act of scribing this book is already a work of blasphemy, but there's nothing wrong with properly disposing of a Qur'an that can no longer be used. The proper method is burning.

    >>Of course, that is what the arcane sorcerers and occultists Saddam secretly surrounded himself with are trying to prevent by hiding away this book. Perhaps it's not a Quran at all, and upon further inspection of the Arabic it may reveal itself to be a transcription of the original Arabic of the Necronomicon.

    >>Your mission, fa/tg/uys, is to grow out your neckbeards and infiltrate Iraq as a foreign band of mercenaries disguised as jihadi terrorists, sneak into the right palace this book is kept in, and delve deep into the secret tunnels and dungeons of the massive bunker complex deep below the sands.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:31 No.16933967
    probably gonna come off sounding a bit weaboo but would those masamune swords count as minor artifacts? guy made them something like 700 years ago and they're considered kick ass craftmanship by today's standards
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:31 No.16933969
         File1321169495.jpg-(92 KB, 500x375, 372673736_30a877e6fd.jpg)
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    A century or two ago, an Egyptian mastaba tomb of the first or second dynasty was excavated. Almost everything had been looted, but the workmen found a severed, poorly mummified arm, wedged into a wall recess. Likely stashed by an ancient looter for a later pickup that never occurred. It was wearing a golden bracelet bearing the name of one of the first pharaohs of Egypt, a few generations after Narmer. The arm and bracelet were packed up and sent away to England, IIRC, to be examined by professionals.

    Being that this happened before the advent of modern archaeology, people didn't really have much interest in bodies. The examiner removed the bracelet and promptly disposed of the arm. We have no idea what happened to it. Probably just thrown out. A piece of one of the first rulers of one of the first nations of humanity, burned or tossed in the garbage.

    Or, you know, there's a necromancer out there somewhere with a pharaonic skeletal hand.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:32 No.16933976
    Fuck DnD adventures, I'm thinking up some Ocean's 11 shit. This stuff isn't being stolen for its material value - though some of it is worth a lot. It's all about the mental value and the difficulty of it being stolen. Seriously, how do you get a 100 lb. quartz sphere out of a DC museum? Remember, it has to be flawless when it's delivered.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:37 No.16933994
         File1321169871.jpg-(19 KB, 350x233, __350_233_Cherenkov Radiation.jpg)
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    Eons ago, before man, before the Earth, before the Sun itself, there was a titan, an ancient god. It lived, and it died.

    Now we scour the world for the ashes of its hearth. Slowly, with complex and precisely executed rituals we cleanse and bless them, before encasing them in carefully crafted reliquaries of zirconium.

    Out of cast rock and fibrous steel we build great fortress-monasteries. Within each you'll find an artificial lake, at the bottom of which lies the inner sanctum, for no human would survive visiting it. There we place a great altar made from finest steel, to house the reliquaries.

    By sidereal knowledge and sacred geometry we bring the titan's ghost from it's eternal slumber, that its sacred flame may empower our civilisation. Day and night, ever vigilant the priesthood keeps watch, caring to the spectre's inhuman needs and whims, for should it's wrath ever be awoken, then no human might can stand against it.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:37 No.16933995
    Anything in a museum is off limits. Museums are the toxic-waste dumps of our community. If it's on public display it might as well be radioactive.

    I know a lot of you came up from the criminal community. You are thinking famous and valuable equals money in the bank. Bullshit. Our patrons want artifacts. That's why they pay us the big bucks and why we have... let's call it advanced technology.

    The Hope? Stolen. Munch's The Scream? Stolen. The Mona Lisa? Stolen like, I dunno, fifty times already. Always winds up back in a museum. Why? They are toxic. Bad mojo.

    Our patrons want artifacts. Shit that's truly rare like Saddam's Blood Koran or the Amber Room or the Eight Lost Faberge Eggs. I don't know what they do with them, I don't care. They pay handsomely for them in both cash and advanced tech, so that's what we hunt.

    If you want to deal in artifacts? Then museum heists are now amateur hour. Time to step up your game and start using your skills to find the good stuff. Tesla's notebooks, the Hitler sex films, the original Michelangelo's Leda. Get to work.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:38 No.16933996
    make a flawless glass orb, replace it with the real one.
    no one will ever know!
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:38 No.16933998
         File1321169931.jpg-(17 KB, 329x599, 329px-Heilige_Lanze_02.jpg)
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    lance of longinus, this is the thing that stabbed jesus in the side while he was on the cross
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:39 No.16934000
         File1321169940.jpg-(35 KB, 693x454, 45Luger.jpg)
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    /k/ommando here. This is a sweep piece of loot I'd love to get my hands on:

    The .45 ACP Luger

    Arguably the most desirable semi-automatic pistol on the planet. Originally produced for test acceptance by the U. S. Army in 1906, there is some question about how many of this unique variation were actually made.


    Luger No.1 was likely destroyed or discarded after testing, but the whereabouts of No.2 are unknown.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:39 No.16934006
         File1321169966.jpg-(146 KB, 542x704, 1244994978027.jpg)
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    >>16933964 it may reveal itself to be a transcription of the original Arabic of the Necronomicon.

    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:41 No.16934013
    Do you play Unknown Armies? If not, you should. That kind of logic will get you far in Unknown Armies.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:42 No.16934018

    Durendal's pretty bitchin'. Supposedly it was unbreakable, as Roland found out when he made La Brèche de Roland in the Pyranees. But getting it out of a cliff-face might be hard?

    Why not go the the Louvre and steal its sibling, Joyeuse. Charlemange's sword is even supposed to have a piece of the Lance of Longinus in the hilt, for double artifact.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:42 No.16934024
         File1321170164.jpg-(288 KB, 1250x1260, USS_Alligator_0844401[1].jpg)
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    The Alligator, the fist submarine of the United States Navy. 9 meters long and could only carry a dozen crew members or so. It got lost near the coast of north California.

    Its the best thing I could add to the thread.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:43 No.16934027
    Welp, we've got triplets. It's a sign! It is our destiny to get this gorgeous German pistol!
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:44 No.16934035
         File1321170269.jpg-(14 KB, 640x230, Karldergrossesignatur.jpg)
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    Is Charlemagne's signature in the spirit of the thread?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:45 No.16934038
         File1321170335.jpg-(37 KB, 282x363, sokushinbutsu.jpg)
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    "Sokushinbutsu (即身仏) were Buddhist monks or priests who caused their own deaths in a way that resulted in their mummification. /.../ It is believed that many hundreds of monks tried, but only between 16 and 24 such mummifications have been discovered to date. The practice is not advocated or practised today by any Buddhist sect. /.../

    For 1,000 days (a little less than three years) the priests would eat a special diet consisting only of nuts and seeds, while taking part in a regimen of rigorous physical activity that stripped them of their body fat. They then ate only bark and roots for another thousand days and began drinking a poisonous tea made from the sap of the Urushi tree, normally used to lacquer bowls.

    This caused vomiting and a rapid loss of bodily fluids, and most importantly, it made the body too poisonous to be eaten by maggots. Finally, a self-mummifying monk would lock himself in a stone tomb barely larger than his body, where he would not move from the lotus position. His only connection to the outside world was an air tube and a bell. Each day he rang a bell to let those outside know that he was still alive.

    When the bell stopped ringing, the tube was removed and the tomb sealed. After the tomb was sealed, the other monks in the temple would wait another 1,000 days, and open the tomb to see if the mummification was successful.

    If the monk had been successfully mummified, they were immediately seen as a Buddha and put in the temple for viewing. Usually, though, there was just a decomposed body. Although they were not viewed as a true Buddha if they were not mummified, they were still admired and revered for their dedication and spirit."
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:47 No.16934048
    If you're going hunting for it, you'll have enough to build a bonfire with, and not much else.

    Myself? I'd settle for some Aztec scrolls.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:47 No.16934049
    I saw a show on this, once. The dude went way up into the fucking mountains to do it. And this is relative to Tibetan cities, which are already "way up in the fucking mountains."
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:47 No.16934050
    You know what probably still has some stuff in it? Tomb of Alexander the Great. We lost it to history, but its location in Alexandria, Egypt was known in ancient times. Caligula apparently knicked Alexander's breastplate to wear himself.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:48 No.16934056
    If you really want a modern quest you'll have to go looting in Qin Shihuang's tomb. There's got to be some crazy shit in there:

    "Sima Qian's description of the tomb includes replicas of palaces and scenic towers, "rare utensils and wonderful objects", 100 rivers made with mercury, representations of "the heavenly bodies", and crossbows rigged to shoot anyone who tried to break in. The tomb was built on Li Mountain, which is only 30 kilometers away from Xi'an. Modern archaeologists have located the tomb, and have inserted probes deep into it. The probes revealed abnormally high quantities of mercury, some 100 times the naturally occurring rate, suggesting that some parts of the legend are credible. Secrets were maintained, as most of the workmen who built the tomb were killed.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:48 No.16934057
    The Staff of Moses!

    According to the Book of Exodus in the Bible, the staff used by Moses was by his side throughout important milestones in the narrative. Moses led the enslaved Israelites out of Egypt and parted the Red Sea using his staff. Amongst these milestone events or 'miracles of the exodus' the bible describes that the staff was used to part the red sea, produce water from a rock, invoke a plague on the Egyptians, and the staff could even transform itself into a snake.

    Let's grab this and free some peoples!
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:49 No.16934065

    Mayan Codecies are hot too, since the Catholics burned all but like, two found. And apparently some of their cities are still lost out in the jungle of Mexico, so you might find a stockpile of Mayan shit.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:49 No.16934067

    And it's finally a decent weapon for the ranger!
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:49 No.16934071
    I've been there. If it turns out to be a waste of time, it's still a very nice place for a picnic. There's a nice economical restaurant a few meters away from the entrance, and more tourist stalls than you can shake a fist at.

    That said, just loot the museum. They've already cleaned it all up for you.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:50 No.16934072
    Eh, I'd rather have one of these.

    The Le Mat Revolver. I won't bore you with the technical details, but long story short it's basically a literal handcannon: in that it uses 16-gauge buckshot. It saw service in the Confederacy until 1865. It was the favored sidearm of Major General J.E.B. Stuart. some say he was buried with his custom job.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:50 No.16934076
         File1321170644.jpg-(97 KB, 500x375, the-kaba-02-500.jpg)
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    The ultimate artifact's there for the taking, but... well, we're going to need a higher-level party.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:51 No.16934079
         File1321170677.jpg-(27 KB, 479x265, Le_Mat_Revolver.jpg)
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    captcha ate pic...
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:51 No.16934081

    And also a helicopter. Or a big truck.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:51 No.16934082
    Amelia Earhart's helmet. The one she was wearing.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:52 No.16934089
    Nah, they haven't opened the central tomb, just some of the surrounding tombs (including the Terracotta Army). The rivers of mercury still await discovery.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:52 No.16934091
    "The main tomb (located at 34°22′52.75″N 109°15′13.06″E) containing the emperor has yet to be opened and there is evidence suggesting that it remains relatively intact.[57] Sima Qian's description of the tomb includes replicas of palaces and scenic towers, "rare utensils and wonderful objects", 100 rivers made with mercury, representations of "the heavenly bodies", and crossbows rigged to shoot anyone who tried to break in.[58] The tomb was built on Li Mountain, which is only 30 kilometers away from Xi'an. Modern archaeologists have located the tomb, and have inserted probes deep into it. The probes revealed abnormally high quantities of mercury, some 100 times the naturally occurring rate, suggesting that some parts of the legend are credible.[51] Secrets were maintained, as most of the workmen who built the tomb were killed."

    Scale map of China with mercury rivers? FUCK YES. Also the sheer audacity of a Terracotta Army.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:53 No.16934096
         File1321170800.jpg-(23 KB, 467x300, rasputins-penis.jpg)
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    And we've got the proper implement (hur hur) for either a bard or sorcerer right here.

    The penis of Rasputin. Preemptively half-expecting a ban for posting a willy in a jar, but it's still a damn relic.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:53 No.16934100
    I've seen an original complete with bluing with my own two eyes. My father has a coworker that works at my favorite gun store and he had to show me it.

    I agree with you, it is really awesome, but doesn't have the same rarity or mystique as the other items here.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:54 No.16934106
         File1321170866.jpg-(37 KB, 406x500, Richard Francis Burton.jpg)
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    I'll get it for you.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:54 No.16934107
    Well, he was quite well equipped, wasn't he?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:55 No.16934111
         File1321170909.jpg-(16 KB, 150x452, batar_1.jpg)
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    The al-Battar sword was taken by the prophet Muhammad as booty from the Banu Qaynaqa. It is called the "sword of the prophets" and is inscribed in Arabic with the names of David, Solomon, Moses, Aaron, Joshua, Zechariah, John, Jesus, and Muhammad. It also has a drawing of King David when cut off the head of Goliath to whom this sword had belonged originally. The sword also features an inscription which has been identified as Nabataean writing.

    The blade of the sword is 101 cm in length. It is preserved in the Topkapi Museum, Istanbul. Some report that it is this sword that Jesus will use when he returns to Earth to defeat the anti-Christ Dajjal.

    It, and another six of the nine swords of Muhammed are in the Topkapi museum in Istanbul today. The eight one, al-'Adb, is in the Hussein mosque in Cairo.

    The last one, Zulfiqhar, is missing. Created by God himself a thousand years before genesis, and its tip ahs been split in two by His gaze. It was delivered to Mohammed by the archangel Gabriel.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:55 No.16934112

    No, that my friend, is the worlds most interesting paperweight.

    "Whats.. uh, what's that on your desk chief?"
    "Oh, this? Rasputin's wang."
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:55 No.16934113
         File1321170914.jpg-(28 KB, 437x480, 1314412629971.jpg)
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    Wait, why was his dick preserved?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:55 No.16934117
    By killed, they mean "sealed the doors on everyone inside and who knew the secrets of its construction".

    Also, note for liches. Don't do what that guy did. It didn't help him become immortal, and mercury is bad for your health.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:55 No.16934118
         File1321170953.jpg-(226 KB, 850x618, DSC08144.jpg)
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    The LeMat isn't a revolver that fires buckshot, it's a revolver that has an additional barrel that can fire buckshot, two guns in one.

    Just clarifying.

    But hard to acquire guns? This baby, the WA2000, very few, quite expensive, and it's the collectors and company heads that have 'em.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:56 No.16934121
    A working Spitfire.

    Tell me you don't want one.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:57 No.16934129
    It wasn't deliberate. They actually tried their best to destroy it, but after the seventh bombardment they just gave up and stuck it in a jar.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:58 No.16934132

    If nobody has been in there since its been sealed, it may have worked.

    Some scientist could pop the doors open only to be greeted by a pissed off chinese lich that just had his thought process interrupted. Or was in the middle of a century of intense meditation, or whatever the fuck you do when you're alone in a room for a few centuries and your junk has fallen off.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:58 No.16934133

    Because it's Rasputin's motherfucking dick. Not only was the guy near unkillable, he banged everybody, had a cult of personality, and as one final fuck-you, it looks like he had a HUGE ASS DICK.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:58 No.16934134
         File1321171109.jpg-(207 KB, 1036x924, NAMA_Machine_d'Anticythère_1.jpg)
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    another crowd favorite: the antikythera mechanism

    it's the world's oldest computing device, produced in the second century B.C.


    >>"This device is just extraordinary, the only thing of its kind. The design is beautiful, the astronomy is exactly right. The way the mechanics are designed just makes your jaw drop. Whoever has done this has done it extremely carefully ... in terms of historic and scarcity value, I have to regard this mechanism as being more valuable than the Mona Lisa."

    >>The device is remarkable for the level of miniaturization and for the complexity of its parts, which is comparable to that of 19th-century clocks. It has more than 30 gears, although Michael Wright (see below) has suggested as many as 72 gears, with teeth formed through equilateral triangles. When a date was entered via a crank (now lost), the mechanism calculated the position of the Sun and Moon or other astronomical information such as the locations of planets. Since the purpose was to position astronomical bodies with respect to the celestial sphere, with reference to the observer's position on the surface of the Earth, the device was based on the geocentric model.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)02:59 No.16934138

    Yeah, there were, what, less than 200 made? It's one of the great collector's pieces of firearms.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:01 No.16934147
    >rasputin's dick

    Hahaha holy shit, you know I actually saw that thing in real life.

    It's like the size of your forearm.

    I doubt it's really his though.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:01 No.16934151
    He had legendary sexual prowess.

    Also, why not? Do you know how many holy foreskins of Christ there are out there?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:01 No.16934155
    Guys, I have an idea: Action Comics No. 1! Those little babies go up to 1.5 million EACH. Now, there's only about 100 left, so if we move fast we can make a quick profit quite easily.

    Or we could try and steal the USS Constitution. I don't know how or why, but we could.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:02 No.16934162
         File1321171356.jpg-(32 KB, 399x904, Goujian_s_sword.jpg)
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    Spring and Autumn represent!
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:02 No.16934163
    didn't they preserve einstein's brain? what wizard wouldn't want that
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:03 No.16934166
    rolled 45, 66, 10 = 121

    >>Meteor Shard Blade - Masterwork Adamantium Shortsword (Fighter)

    >>Implying the Meteor Shard Blade isn't the weapon of a Heroic Bard
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:04 No.16934170
         File1321171447.jpg-(72 KB, 327x592, shroud.jpg)
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    Shroud of Turin

    stat it as you will

    may be considered a false artifact since it probably isn't the one that covered Jesus, but one produced later in Italy
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:04 No.16934171
    I'd love to get my hands on the lyre of Nero, if the old story is even remotely true.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:04 No.16934175
    pretty sure they carbon dated that to be a fake
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:05 No.16934178

    Speaking of Jesus, the Crucifixion nails are popular.


    How ever many of the nails, if any, that are the real ones are supposed to have protective properties. Constantine wore one in the bridle of his horse.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:06 No.16934185
    Don't forget the Lance! Hell, if it worked for the First Crusade, it can work for us!
    Granted we're trying to make a quick buck off it, but whatever.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:06 No.16934186
    Its a map. Thats why you would steal it.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:07 No.16934188
         File1321171620.jpg-(135 KB, 300x570, Sargon_of_Akkad.jpg)
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    The first emperor in human history.

    >The black-headed peoples [Sumerians] I ruled, I governed; mighty mountains with axes of bronze I destroyed. I ascended the upper mountains; I burst through the lower mountains. The country of the sea I besieged three times; Dilmun I captured. Unto the great Dur-ilu I went up, I ... I altered ... Whatsoever king shall be exalted after me, ... Let him rule, let him govern the black-headed peoples; mighty mountains with axes of bronze let him destroy; let him ascend the upper mountains, let him break through the lower mountains; the country of the sea let him besiege three times; Dilmun let him capture; To great Dur-ilu let him go up.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:07 No.16934194
    There are enough nails and "shards of the true cross" to crucify a thousand messiahs.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:08 No.16934198
    Museum exhibit. Might as well be polonium if you are looking for a buyer.

    Now if you want a penis? John Dillinger's cock, that's worth a bounty. The FBI chopped his enormous member off during the autopsy after they capped him. We know it got routed through Walter Reed before it wound up in the possession of The Smithsonian, though they deny it to this day.

    The main problem is nobody knows where it is now. The Special Collections Department is impenetrable. Some say it's in the basement of the castle on the mall in D.C., others that it's in Fort Knox, Kentucky, and a thousand other rumors.

    If you've got a line on it? Keep it quiet. Only bring in people you trust with your life. And never, ever use any kind of mail or electronic communication, I don't care how good your crypto is, when discussing the heist. The Office of Protection Services is not to be trifled with.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:08 No.16934199
    Heck, why just go for the staff, lets get it's twin...

    All we have to do is find the Ark of the Covenant, and hope that its legendary smiting is just talk.

    For this we also get the tablets of the law (the original 10 commandments, a jar of manna, and of course the Rod of Aaron.

    Supposedly it's in a church in Ethiopia.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:09 No.16934203

    See >>16933998

    There are a couple of supposed lances, but the one that's in Vienna looks more like a roman lance.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:09 No.16934204
         File1321171759.jpg-(23 KB, 250x223, Pat_roach_German.jpg)
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    We're going to steal a bronze-age Warlord? Where the FUCK do I sign up?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:10 No.16934216

    badass name, badass empire name

    shit, and look at dat fucking beard

    that shit could easily be an artifact for Warlords if you hollowed it out
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:11 No.16934219

    Oh! We could always try and take Alexander the Great's body! Sure, we'd need to find the damn thing, but all we gotta do is look under Alexandria!
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:11 No.16934220
         File1321171880.jpg-(134 KB, 480x319, Malmberget-pit.jpg)
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    This is the small city of Malmberget, far up in the frozen Swedish north. As the mine digs ever deeper into the depths, the huge pit on top eats away at the city. The pit itself is currently a quarter of a kilometer deep, the mine itself reaches a kilometre down into the bedrock. Even further north in Kiruna an entire mountain has been reduced to little more than a terraced lump, with shafts reaching down over 1200 meters into the depths. Half a lake has been made to just disappear, and ever increasing tremors mean the entire city will soon be moved.

    Is it truly just iron ore they're digging for down there, in rock undisturbed for two billion years?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:12 No.16934226

    Nine nails, actually. Admittedly, that's like, 3 times as many as there should be, but if you steal them all...

    As for the true cross, St. Helena only took a bit of it back with her. I think I remember a figure some where that some scholar had added up all the mass of the supposed fragments, and it was only like 1/3rd of how much wood would have been part of the cross. Relics are a dime-a-dozen though.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:13 No.16934231
         File1321171983.jpg-(21 KB, 170x475, 170px-Stradivarius_violin_fron(...).jpg)
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    You guys have nothing for Bards here!

    Try a Stradivarius Violin. These violins were lovingly hand made by the Stradivari family in the late 1600s. They have been called the most perfect violins ever and even today no one has made any that come close to being equal. They have superior sound quality and are harmonious to listen to.

    Today they are extremely rare, and no one really knows how many are left. Only the best soloists use Stradivari's today.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:13 No.16934236
    Yeah. Especially considering how back in the day churches would nick each others relics.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:13 No.16934242
    It's fucking incredible that his tomb is probably undisturbed under the city somewhere, but we'll NEVER find it because you can't dig up inhabited cities.

    Same problem with Baghdad. MOVE EVERYONE OUT, I WANT TO DIG, GODDAMNIT.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:13 No.16934243
         File1321172029.jpg-(60 KB, 471x349, Tickling_the_Dragons_Tail.jpg)
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    The Demon Core: A radioactive plutonium core more known for its air of bad luck than any particular lethality. Two scientists died on two separate occasions while experimenting with it.

    Admittedly, not that exciting a concept, especially for an 'Artifact of Doom'. However, the very idea of something that potent, that lethal, being surrounded by an aura of pure misfortune could be toyed with.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:14 No.16934247
    The Three Sacred Treasures of Japan.

    The Sword-The Kusanagi, the blade found in the tail of the Orochi after being slain by the Storm God Susanoo.

    The Mirror and the Jewel are the two others but I haven't read much about them. They all do exist but are kept in seperate temples.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:15 No.16934254
    Except that it was eventually used in a bomb.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:15 No.16934257
    "In 1988, a controversial radiocarbon dating test was performed on small samples of the shroud. The laboratories at the University of Oxford, the University of Arizona, and the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology, concurred that the samples they tested dated from the Middle Ages, between 1260 and 1390. /.../ in 1390 when Bishop Pierre d'Arcis wrote a memorandum to Antipope Clement VII, stating that the shroud was a forgery and that the artist had confessed."
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:16 No.16934259
    And we're only able to take guesses as to WHY they sound so damn good.

    The Mirror is the mirror used to lure Ameratsu No Kami out of the cave she hid herself in, after Susanoo No Kami, did something to make her hide.

    And the Jewel is supposedly one of the final drops that formed Japan out of the waters primeval.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:16 No.16934260
    We could also try and take the Rosetta Stone. Not sure what we'd do with it. But I'm SURE the stupid thing has a use.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:17 No.16934267
         File1321172226.jpg-(580 KB, 1287x856, 1313883757911.jpg)
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    Maybe a prequel game around it? Like, I dunno'... I'm getting a vision of WWII Scion game. And maybe this would have been the 'heart' that converted the Poison Sun from a regular atomic bomb into some kind of living atomic god.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:17 No.16934274

    The Antikythera mechanism is awesome and mind boggling.

    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:17 No.16934277

    Also, nobody knows how he fucking made them. Its like Damascus steel, we can't precisely replicate it today.

    >inb4 yes we have damacus steel

    Yes, I know we have pattern-welded steel. Its not a proper wootz steel, it just looks similar.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:17 No.16934278
         File1321172271.jpg-(132 KB, 600x1039, 4ddd09ea_166e_c392.jpg)
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    we need to capture keanu reeves and question him for the secret of immortality
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:19 No.16934287
    This party retrieving:

    These items.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:19 No.16934290
    If only he could play the Stradivarius we'd have the best IRL bard ever.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:20 No.16934296

    Also the Kusanagi may have accidentally been lost in a Straight when an emperor and his entourage committed suicide via drowning. The other two treasures were officially rescued, but the Kusanagi might just have been dragged down to the deep.

    But hey, while were discussing swords, y'know they've been digging up a lot of old celtic swords in swamps? Maybe we can find the original Excalibur.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:21 No.16934299
    >original Excalibur
    And a million Brits came at such a thought
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:22 No.16934305
    Well it was tradition for knights to simply throw their swords into the nearest body of water...for some reason. People today who've had said bodies of water drained find numerous swords just sitting there.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:22 No.16934308
    Dear lord, looking through this, I'm wondering why we have so many terrorist groups dedicated to blowing shit up, but none to stealing national treasures.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:22 No.16934309
    You know out there some place is a recipe for greek fire.

    Somewhere where we can't fucking find it.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:23 No.16934312
    Or perhaps the actual sword in the stone. Caliburn.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:24 No.16934318

    Something to do with appeasing spirits, IIRC. It was Faerie country.


    Because that's not very "terror", more like "art thief".
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:24 No.16934319
    The jewel and mirror were used to lure the sun goddess out of her cave when she got pissed at Susanoo and decided to be a hermit for a while. Since this left the world sun-less it was a pretty big deal getting her out again. Susanoo then gave her the sword as an apology.

    The mirror is located at the great shrine in Ise. It's kept in a bag, and hasn't been seen by human eyes for a very, very long time. when the bag starts getting a it old, they don't take the mirror out and put it in a new bag, they simply stuff the old bag unopened into the new one. And when that oen looses its lustre both go into a enw bag, etc. As such, they ma have a truly magnificent collection of old Japanese bags and fabrics there... The location of the sword and jewel are kept secret by the Imperial court.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:25 No.16934326
    Because you can't really get a lot of people excited about stealing national treasures. "Kill the infidel and receive eternal paradise upon becoming a martyr!" Has a much better ring to it then "Here, help me steal these priceless, one-of-a-kind artifacts from some of the most high-security museums, located in some of the most powerful countries in the world."

    It's a little hard, recruiting for that sort of operation.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:26 No.16934334
         File1321172798.jpg-(66 KB, 700x587, 1287286468018.jpg)
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    We use it to decipher the true message of the dead sea scrolls.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:28 No.16934348


    Officially Kusanagi is in here. But, the sword was stolen from there then supposedly returned, and they were supposed to have made several fakes.


    Caliburn or Clarent, was Arthur's "sword of peace". Then Mordred dun stole it and used it to shiv him. I'd rather not have that sword, thanks.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:28 No.16934349
    Sword: current one probably a fake. (The first was thrown into the sea then conveniently "found" by a claimant to the Throne). Buried within the grounds of the heavily-guarded courtyard of a major temple, which also has several other relics in the area.

    Mirror: Supposedly hung on a tree to lure the Sun goddess out of a cave - the story involves women committing suicide by ramming loom shuttles up their twats, strippers, a flayed pony.. Really, it's Japanese history in a nutshell.
    Kept inside a lead box inside a steel box inside a wooden chest inside a metal chest inside a specially-built blockhouse on the grounds of a temple that is ritually destroyed and moved to a new, sanctified site in the same forest once every decade. It's known to be metal, but what type and how old is up for debate (only the Emperor has actually seen it - the high priest in charge of guarding it died a while back, and his successor isn't allowed to open it until the succession ceremony).

    Stones: no-one's quite sure how many there are - only three people in Japan currently know the exact location, but it's somewhere on the palace grounds in Tokyo.
    They're a type of comma-shaped stone, representing the spirit, which are fairly common in royal Choson and Yamato burials. Currently unstrung, but some reports say they're part of a necklace.Mythologically, they were part of the lure for the sun goddess (hang the stones on the tree, hire strippers, get drunk and wait for her to stick out her head to see what's going on, then blind her with her own reflection, tie her up, and rap- um, make her go back in the sky)
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:28 No.16934350
         File1321172935.jpg-(25 KB, 455x357, 1306816482415.jpg)
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    Didn't even need to see the post or open up the thumbnail to know what that beauty was. It's been my dream gun since I was 15.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:30 No.16934365
         File1321173039.jpg-(118 KB, 800x600, South cave 0422.jpg)
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    You get Caliburn, he gets Excalibur, and I get Excalibur's scabbard.

    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:30 No.16934366

    There was no hiring strippers my good sir. Ame-no-Uzume decided to invent the striptease for the specific purpose,
    >> girder 11/13/11(Sun)03:31 No.16934370
    >Could you argue that nuclear warheads are "relics"?

    The word relic implies that the object be 'ancient' in addition to be being venerated.

    Last I checked nukes aren't really that old or that venerated.

    >The ultimate artifact's there for the taking, but... well, we're going to need a higher-level party.

    Man, is the look in your party's face gonna be hilarious when they go inside the Kabbah and find absolutely nothing.


    ...unless you're planning on stealing the building.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:31 No.16934372
    Fuck Caliburn, or Caledfwlch, give me Carnwennan, or Rhongomyniad (Arthurs dagger and spear respectively.)
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:32 No.16934380

    You know the Second Temple? The one that Judah The Maccabees redideciated after their revolt and started the Jewish holiday of Hanukah? A site that was so holy that today the remaining OUTER DEFENSIVE WALL THAT WASNT EVEN PART OF THE ORIGINAL TEMPLE aka the Western Wall is considered one of the most holy places in the Jewish faith today.

    Its remains are under The Dome of the Rock. Who fucking knows what awesome shit is there. We'll never know though because it would cause a huge shitstorm to try and dig under The Dome of the Rock.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:32 No.16934382
         File1321173177.jpg-(13 KB, 360x270, 14-GendoPose.jpg)
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    That will not be necessary.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:33 No.16934383
    The building IS the relic.
    So, yeah, they're stealing the building.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:33 No.16934385

    No man, >>16934365 is where its at. fuck that noise, find scabbard, obtain immortality. Or at least no dying in battle.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:34 No.16934391
         File1321173267.jpg-(107 KB, 398x601, 20110103_728278.jpg)
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    >>tie her up, rap.. I mean make her go back in the sky.
    oh amy
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:34 No.16934392
    Oh shit, I have a good one. After Alaric invaded the empire and sacked Rome, he died in Calabria, and..

    >..his body was, according to legend, buried under the riverbed of the Busento. The stream was temporarily turned aside from its course while the grave was dug wherein the Gothic chief and some of his most precious spoils were interred. When the work was finished, the river was turned back into its usual channel and the captives by whose hands the labor had been accomplished were put to death that none might learn their secret.

    The Visigoths had previously broken into the Mausoleum of Augustus and scattered the ashes of the Julio-Claudian dynasty, but who knows what they took. Wouldn't you want a little piece of Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus to call your own?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:35 No.16934396

    Having the same message written in Greek and in Hieroglyphs?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:37 No.16934400

    Hey, Gaius Julius Caesar's sword, Crocea Mors is supposedly buried with a british prince near the north gate of london.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:37 No.16934402
    Marquis de Sade's unfiinished Magnum Opus, the 120 days of Sodom; a roll of paper containing the a tale of unbridled perversion and violent sex.


    a tool that, if in the wrong hands, could turn even the most chivalrous knight into a frenzied maniac.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:38 No.16934406
    Goddamnit Sandiego. I know you're running low on ideas, but quit making these threads.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:39 No.16934410
    Ah here we go.

    This in it's entirity.

    Dees table of practice, his scrying mirror and stone, the seals used to support the table of practice, the huge Sigillum Dei Ameth used to support the scrying stone.

    EPIC LEVEL DIVINATIION! Combined with his work books, this might be a way to actually talk with angels.

    (Game terms, gate at will.)
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:39 No.16934412
    'cept according to the stories, didn't that break beyond repair?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:40 No.16934417

    Don't forget that Durendai is also supposed to be Hector's sword.

    Yeah the Hector that fought Achilles, him.
    >> Painful Elegy 11/13/11(Sun)03:41 No.16934419
         File1321173668.jpg-(10 KB, 250x283, carmensandiego.jpg)
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    Why has no one started talking about stealing some real relics, like the pyramids, or the eiffel tower, or even all of Auschwitz?

    But of course to pull that off, we'll have to call in the big guns.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:41 No.16934421
         File1321173687.png-(226 KB, 640x480, carmen-sandiego.png)
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    Carmen Sandiego doesn't need ideas. That bitch can steal TIME PERIODS.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:41 No.16934422
    This is some kind of Loki-deal where you get Caliburn anyway because it's in the scabbard, and the other guy gets nothing because Excalibur is a mistranslation, isn't it?
    >> The Inquisitor With No Name 11/13/11(Sun)03:42 No.16934426
    I'm gonna go ahead and agree with anon up there. Nukes were/are pretty well revered, simply for their world-ending potential.

    Anyone have any ideas for a dungeon to stash all of these relics?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:43 No.16934432
    Hence why I went for Pendragon's spear and dagger.

    The dagger is supposedly sharp enough to cut someone in half.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:43 No.16934434
    wasnt that during the bronze age? the sword above is clearly iron, also bronze weapons are shit.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:43 No.16934436
    so it's a masterwork bastardspear?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:44 No.16934438

    I'm pretty sure she steals Jupiter in one of the games.

    As in, the fucking PLANET.

    No, I don't know where she puts it. I'd imagine her coat is actually an extradimensional space
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:45 No.16934446
    the spear is supposedly the Spear of Lugh.

    But no the dagger is that sharp.

    Yes, however Iron working was not unkown, just not at all common.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:45 No.16934448
    >>stealing jupiter
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:46 No.16934450

    I think Time Periods are more impressive. Jupiter is still a physical object.

    No, the dagger cuts people in half.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:46 No.16934453
    I guess you could say she's a bag of holding.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:48 No.16934464

    Speaking of spears, no mention of Gae Bulg, Cu Chulainn's spear? Riddles you with barbs when it stabs you?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:48 No.16934465
    They all do, bones from saints are ground up, mixed with powder to dilute them them then a microscopic speck is embeded in glass to be put inside the alter. This is so you can build a new church on a site that is not the grave of a Saint by turning it into the grave of a saint.

    Saint what'shisface Church down the street? Yeah there's a real chunk of him there. Actually there are two because the Head Priest has a back up Saint chunk in a glass hockey puck in case he has to preform a service outside of his Church.


    You can occasionally even buy a reliquary when it pops up on the market every now and then, they are not impossible to find.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:48 No.16934466
    what's the what's the escape artist DC to insert a jupiter sized object in a one inch hole
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:50 No.16934469

    She stole "The Concept of Language" once.

    I can't even begin to understand how that works. Some serious Sidereal shit.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:50 No.16934473

    Hey its the myth, they often don't make sense. In one myth Charlamange was given the sword by a fucking angel and he in turn gave it to Roland, in another Roland gets it from Maugris his magical cousin who was raised by fairies and Maugris told him it used to be wielded by Hector.

    So if you want to believe the myths which we seemed inclined to do ITT, its either a magic fairy sword or a divine weapon.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:51 No.16934478

    Carmen Sandiego steals the hole, the DC, and the escape artist
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:51 No.16934481
    To quote my professor, "there are enough bones of the Buddha to make ten Buddhas."

    Or to quote a neo-confucian scholar whose name I forget, "Isn't it a little unbecoming for the emperor to worship a corpse?"
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:52 No.16934487

    And the Dice off the table.

    Even if she's only a character in a game and the dice are the player's
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:53 No.16934488
    Carmen Sandiego, confirmed for a Sidreal.

    And if we're going off of mythical weapons as well, the Tournament bow of Robin of Locksley, and also the arrow that split the other in twain.

    Ranger artifacts right there, only able to be used in bringing down a tyrant.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:53 No.16934495
         File1321174425.jpg-(98 KB, 450x600, 450px-La_breche_de_roland_2.jpg)
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    The Norse say it was made by Wayland the Smith, same guy who made Gram. Either way, Durendal is a fucking badass sword. Again, taking the myth literally, here is the notch Roland supposedly made in the mountains trying to shatter the blade.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:54 No.16934500
         File1321174469.jpg-(4 KB, 104x104, aku.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:55 No.16934502
         File1321174502.jpg-(22 KB, 425x292, 1304644837698.jpg)
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    Carmen Sandiego and Waldo team up. What happens?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:55 No.16934505

    +5 (Vorpal, but for piercing) Spear
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:55 No.16934509
    And lets not forget it's cursed...

    As in it took Roland, a paladin without peer to even wield it without succumbing to it's desire to taste blood.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:56 No.16934514
    Couldn't tell ya.

    I knew once of course, but they took that knowledge away from me.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:56 No.16934515

    She can't find him, but somehow the four kids do. Hijinks ensue.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:57 No.16934516

    It also has, like four relics embedded in the hilt. Tooth of one saint, blood of another, hair of another, and a piece of the raiment of the Virgin Mary.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)03:57 No.16934518
    carmen sandiego can steal aspects of reality
    waldo can stand in a crowd and be spotted by children

    most likely carmen will steal the idea of stripes, so that he gets a better wardrobe
    >> Painful Elegy 11/13/11(Sun)03:58 No.16934527

    They give birth to the ultimate hider. Which carmen then steals the abilities of.
    >> Jeb !!Ptc02ZkICDD 11/13/11(Sun)04:04 No.16934536
         File1321175051.jpg-(74 KB, 413x600, shakespeares revenge.jpg)
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    rolled 18 = 18

    We need to archive this. We have single handedly created a list and base of knowledge for 1000's of magical items and their locations.

    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)04:10 No.16934538
         File1321175415.jpg-(23 KB, 410x284, bell.jpg)
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    "Die Glocke is described as being a device "made out of a hard, heavy metal" approximately 9 feet wide and 12 to 15 feet high having a shape similar to that of a large bell. According to Cook, this device ostensibly contained two counter-rotating cylinders which would be "filled with a mercury-like substance, violet in color."

    Device has been thought to be a prototype of an anti-gravity device, as there is on the ground a circular metal framework with small passageways leading underground, likely for cables. It has been speculated that this structure provided testing ground for the anti-gravity device.

    Recently the speculation that the device did indeed have something to do with gravity modification has gained more ground, when experiments done with fast rotating superconducting disks have produced anomalous mass reduction results.

    And a test done by ESA with configurations similiar to Podkletnovs experiment.

    The underground complex where this research was made to collapse and all the scientists working there were executed by the SS-officers running the research.

    That device may still be there, buried somewhere underground.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)04:28 No.16934542
    There's one hanging around Saturn, apparently.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)04:31 No.16934543
         File1321176700.jpg-(33 KB, 478x269, Nicolas Cage vampire.jpg)
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    I am reminded of that Nicolas Cage photograph
    Actually, unless it was cast, the iron is still 'cold'
    - Wrought iron never reaches melting point or curie point
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)04:32 No.16934545
    Um......Any Catholic Priest on the planet?


    A Catholic Church cannot be consecrated without a relic. The holy hockey puck is supposed to be inside the portable Altar however some "progressive" priests simply carry the puck by itself. Usually this is because they are doing a service for someone who is near death and they don't have time or the logistical ability to haul out the entire portable altar on such short notice.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)04:38 No.16934549

    OP here. There was a thread like this before, so we probably don't need an archive.

    What we need is a list of these artifacts in HANDY REFERENCE FORMAT (tm), divided into separate categories like weapons, jewels, furniture, armor, body parts, penises, clothing, etc.

    Shit would be awesome. Everyone could write up a paragraph or two of text to go along with it and provide the coolest photographs.

    I'd assemble it myself, but I'm too busy masturbating to vintage pornography.
    >> Espagnoll !/5aJFFL8RI 11/13/11(Sun)12:13 No.16934555
    I think there was an issued of Dragon magazine concerning some historical real world objects as epic level artifacts, from Da Vinci's notes to the Giza Sphinx.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)12:16 No.16934560
    why not someone do a quicky copypasta job to 1d4chan then clean it up over time? I'd volunteer but I blow at wiki editing.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)12:50 No.16934707
    which issue was this?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)13:04 No.16934852
    >> Espagnoll !/5aJFFL8RI 11/13/11(Sun)13:35 No.16935132
    I don't remember the number but is the issue what appeared the same month the Epic Level Handbook was published.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)13:39 No.16935163
    The Imperial Regalia of Japan
    Legend has it that these three artifacts were given to the ancestor of the Imperial line of Japan by the grandson of the goddess Amaterasu. These artifacts were the same three used to lure the goddess out of a cave when she went into hiding (plunging the world into darkness). The three treasures are a mirror, a jewel and a sword. The sword was, again, according to legend, obtained from the body of Orochi.

    The treasures' locations are unknown, but they are commonly thought to be housed separately in different shrines
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)13:42 No.16935175

    See >>16934247
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)13:43 No.16935181
    The kilogram standars weight is a pretty awesome artefact. You see, unlike every other SI unit, kilogram has not been tied to a constant yet. Therefore the definition of kilogram is "weight as much as this thing". If somebody were to steal the standard weight, he could cut pieces off of it to make everything in the world heavier.

    The Kiruna iron orebody is a pretty strange thign, really. It's the single largest deposit of iron in the world, descending downwards as far as can be accurately measured (nobody is sure exactly how deep it goes, but it's hundreds of meters at the very least). Geologists aren't 100% sure how it was formed eighter, altough evidence seems to suggets it being magmatic in origin. The magma that formed it must have been unusually rich in iron, to the point of almost being molten iron. Another similar deposit, showing more obvious signs of magmatic origin, is know to exist in Chile, but those are the only two known examples of such iron-rich magmas in the world.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)13:49 No.16935217

    The Sword Kusanagi was lost during the Taira/Minamoto wars. During the battle at Yashima, I believe.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)13:56 No.16935258
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)14:08 No.16935301
    Yata no Kagami
    Yasakani no Magatama

    These are the 3 holy artifacts of the Japanese Imperium, or nation if you will. They are sealed in shires, and nobody but the emperor and a few old monks are allowed to look at them.

    Mystic location: That rock in Mecca
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)14:19 No.16935344
         File1321211987.jpg-(113 KB, 605x483, sqfw5.jpg)
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    The lost SwordQuest prizes.

    Long story short: In the 1980's or so, Atari released a series of four adventure games under the SwordQuest title, which were all a part of a contest with real treasures as the prizes.

    By playing the games, solving puzzles, and using knowledge of mythology and religious lore, you would search out four "clues" hidden within the game and other promotional material. Everyone who found all of the correct clues would play in a competition for the prize, with the winners of all four games coming back to compete for the final, ultimate prize.

    The prizes were:
    (All valued at $25k at the time of the contests, except for the sword, which was valued at $50k)
    The "Talisman of Penultimate Truth" -- made of 18K solid gold, with 12 diamonds and the birthstones of the twelve Zodiac signs embedded in it, as well as a small sword made of white gold attached to the front.

    The "Chalice of Light" -- made of gold and platinum and was adorned with citrines, diamonds, green jade, pearls, rubies, and sapphires.

    The "Crown of Life" -- made of gold and encrusted with aquamarines, diamonds, green tourmalines, rubies, and sapphires.

    The "Philosopher's Stone" -- a large chunk of white jade in an 18K gold box encrusted with diamonds, emeralds, citrines, and rubies.

    And the ultimate prize, the "Sword of Ultimate Sorcery" -- a sword with a gold handle encrusted with jewels, and a gleaming pure silver blade.

    Here's the thing, though. The Talisman and Chalice were awarded as planned, but then the Great Video Game Crash happened, and Atari went under. The contests for the Crown, Stone and Sword were never held.
    What happened to them? NOBODY KNOWS. They disappeared without a trace. But rest assured, they're out there -- somewhere.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)14:20 No.16935350
    The twelfth book of Usagi Yojimbo, Grasscutter, gives a pretty good rendition of the story in both its historical elements and mythological elements.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)14:23 No.16935362
    >The one who gets the sword will be crowned as the King of Neckbeards, and he will get a kingdom of figurines, cheetos, chocotacos and his own elvish harem.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)14:26 No.16935376
    Colonel Sanders' lost recipes.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)14:27 No.16935383
         File1321212431.jpg-(233 KB, 864x1105, carmen_the_affair_by_Bob_Rz.jpg)
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    there's another comic, somewhere, about their baby.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)14:27 No.16935385
    so very very want
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)14:28 No.16935389
    Son of a bitch.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)14:43 No.16935468
         File1321213398.png-(70 KB, 1202x478, tg treasure.png)
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    for future treasure hunters
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)14:44 No.16935473
    Hell no. That's artificial. You can't just create artefacts for the purpose of them being artefacts, even if they do then get mysteriously lost. It's like the centre of America from American Gods.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)14:44 No.16935476
    Sir, I surely hope you do not speak in jest, for if any soul were brave enough to take up this quest---
    Why I would follow them into hell itself.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)14:45 No.16935485
         File1321213509.jpg-(90 KB, 400x459, Epic of Gilgamesh.jpg)
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    Easymodo - The Epic of Gilgamesh tablet.

    Containing the oldest piece of literature in human history, it chronicles the adventures of the 2/3rd divine hero-king of the City of Uruk.

    (inb4 type moon & MONGRELS!)
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)14:45 No.16935488
    Talking of Robin of Loxley. The crown jewels of his nemesis, King John of England remain missing since the wagons carrying them got washed away by the tide in the seventeenth century.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)14:48 No.16935509
    who said atari made them? the gods of atari had gathered these great artifacts from long before our age and realized they did the world no good merely collecting dust. so they created a tournament where only the smartest, wisest, and bravest would prevail, so that they might find worthy men and women to become the wielders of these artifacts
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)14:57 No.16935566
    So who is Carmen Sandiego, anyway?
    I'm not American.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)15:00 No.16935578
         File1321214420.jpg-(49 KB, 768x1024, Wallace_sword.jpg)
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    The lance of Olyndicus. Olyndicus was a Celtiberian warrior chief who rebelled and fought Roman occupation centuries before the ADs. He was a charismatic man who spoke like a prophet in the Celtic language of the time, and wielded a spear of shining silver said to have literally been hurled from the skies by the gods to aid him.

    Also, the sword of Wallace. Probably not ol' Bill's actual sword, but look at this fucker and tell me it wouldn't cleave some skulls either way.
    >> Fightan Man 11/13/11(Sun)15:01 No.16935589

    I think after Auschwitz he deserves the sword doesn't he?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)15:01 No.16935593

    So would the Crowbar of Freeman.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)15:02 No.16935599
         File1321214542.jpg-(64 KB, 800x600, 1282998242688.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)15:03 No.16935603

    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)15:07 No.16935631
    That doesn't exist outside a game, broseph, unless you mean the one sent to the dude at CERN due to resembling Gordon Freeman.

    Try Server Crash if you want to deal with game-stuff.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)15:17 No.16935692
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)15:18 No.16935698
    Ghaddafis bones
    Saddam Husseins Bones
    The corpse of Saint Olav
    The axe, spear and sword that fell Saint Olav
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)15:24 No.16935730
    They have a way to surpass them. Turns out, when modern tech is controlling the mold, the results are better.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)15:31 No.16935773
         File1321216270.jpg-(25 KB, 564x452, london-hammer-2.jpg)
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    The London Hammer

    The rock encasing the hammer was dated back more than 400 million year; the hammer itself turned out to be more than 500 million years old. Additionally, a section of the handle has begun the transformation to coal. Creationists, of course, were all over this. The hammer’s head, made of more than 96% iron, is far more pure than anything nature could have achieved without an assist from modern technology.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)15:38 No.16935836
    By Moradin's beard!
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)15:40 No.16935855
    This shit doesn't have a wikipedia article....
    >> Fightan Man 11/13/11(Sun)15:40 No.16935858

    Rock can form around dropped tools left in cracks with soluble rock, case dismissed.

    Also 400 million years? A hammer outdates the dinosaurs? nigga please.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)15:41 No.16935869
    Fucking Dwarves!

    I bet they all died and got flung into space with the moon when that Mars-sized asteroid hit us!
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)15:42 No.16935877
    It's an eighteen-hundreds hammer that got washed over with mud made from the runoff of ancient sedimentary formations.

    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)15:43 No.16935883
         File1321216985.png-(388 KB, 720x544, 1263946140504.png)
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    >The moon is made of molten dwarf remains

    That's just crazy enough to be true
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)15:43 No.16935885

    I don't know why Creationists would be all over this artifact, since it soundly disproves the Creationist theory that the world is only 60 million years old (I'm PRETTY SURE that's the number). Otherwise, pretty cool.


    Even if additional rock formed around it, it was still at one time a fashioned tool. And if it IS as old as it is claimed to be, the dinosaurs sure didn't make it.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)15:45 No.16935903
    creationists say the earth is only 6,000
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)15:45 No.16935906
    Osama's bones
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)15:45 No.16935909
    Considering carbon dating only works to about 20,000 or 30,000 years back, if I recall correctly, there's not really any way anyone could definitively give that number unless it was buried under a lot of layers of strata. So, yeah.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)15:45 No.16935913
    >I don't know why Creationists would be all over this artifact, since it soundly disproves the Creationist theory that the world is only 60 million years old (I'm PRETTY SURE that's the number). Otherwise, pretty cool.

    Psh, that's just Christian creationists.
    Hardcore creationists believe in aliens.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)15:47 No.16935928
         File1321217261.jpg-(34 KB, 400x300, WAYLANDS SMITHY.jpg)
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    I was at Waylands Smithy this summer, nice place but I sacrificed a whole load of my foot skin to him.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)15:49 No.16935948
    Maybe they want it to be the hammer of God. He IS portrayed as a craftman, after all.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)15:53 No.16935984

    Yeah, nobody ever remembers that monks used to travel all over europe and steal artifacts from churches for their own institutions.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)16:03 No.16936076
         File1321218186.jpg-(117 KB, 500x375, 3269860628_6d1584fd81.jpg)
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    A nice easy quest?
    The Trial of the Pyx

    Every year in february since 1282 the goldsmiths of london must present samples of every batch of coinage made for testing.
    The coins are usually destroyed during this process.
    Some rough calculation tells me there are roughy 3000 gold sovereigns tested every year weighing around 220KG which is a nice easily transportable pile of money.
    The next open day of the Goldsmiths house is on November 14th- Any London bros interested in picking up a little extra cash for christmas?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)16:04 No.16936089
    the problem with the Turin shroud is that people expect it will have magical Jesus powers, and are impressed with the proported miracles its performed and all that.

    The magic wasn't the shroud, which was made in medieval Italy. It's in the loom that made the shroud.

    There are other fragments of bolts from the loom, mostly in the earth tone scale. Perhaps most noteworthy is the dark green rag which can polish a window to perfect clarity.
    It doesn't really matter what surface it's polishing for this effect.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)16:09 No.16936133

    That's because it's GOD's hammer. Duh.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)16:13 No.16936166

    It sold for a million dollars. Some collector has it.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)16:13 No.16936168
    Plot hook for the next DnD game? Cleric punking shit?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)16:15 No.16936181

    Hmmm must have an aactual piece of the true cross in its construction.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)16:15 No.16936188
    unless it's a modern, fungi-treated wood, made by a skilled modern craftsman. then it's better, just less "rare." The only real value one can have in playing one is that it's usually a sign you're recognized as an excellent musician, since someone is willing to loan you one. it's an absurd accreditation at best.

    Stratavarii are overrated, overpriced bullshit without a genuine accompanying increase in quality. It's basically the Johnny Walker Blue of instruments. "it's expensive and old and rare, so it MUST be objectively good."
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)16:28 No.16936283
    Okay, Wow.
    Fucking... wow.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)16:30 No.16936298
    If you liked that, check out more from Charles Stross. His Laundry series makes for a decent reading and so do some of his other novels.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)16:31 No.16936302
         File1321219884.jpg-(73 KB, 400x566, Thoth.jpg)
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    >The Book of Thoth is a book containing powerful magical spells that appears in an ancient Egyptian story from the Ptolemaic period. The book is said to have been written by Thoth, the god of writing and knowledge. It contains two spells, one of which allows the reader to understand the speech of animals, and one of which allows the reader to perceive the gods themselves.

    The Book of Thoth is sometimes referenced in Egyptian writings as having been an actual book used in sacred rites by priests, who were the only ones allowed to read it.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)16:33 No.16936315
         File1321220004.jpg-(32 KB, 213x600, justjudges.jpg)
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    >The Just Judges (145 × 51 cm) is the lower left panel of the Ghent Altarpiece, by Jan Van Eyck, 15th century
    >As part of the altarpiece, it was displayed at the Saint Bavo Cathedral in Ghent, Belgium, until stolen during the night of 10 April 1934, possibly by the Belgian Arsène Goedertier . The bishop of Ghent received a ransom demand for one million Belgian francs. On 25 November 1934 the thief revealed on his deathbed that he was the only one who knew where the masterpiece was hidden, and that he would take the secret to his grave.

    Goedertier even left cryptic hints in his correspondence, signing with D.U.A and all.

    Honestly, whenever there's a shortage of news in Belgium, people go and look for the painting. Breaking up churches, building, digging in the royal crypt. All tried.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)16:39 No.16936351
    Why hasn't anyone even bothered to mention The Holy Grail?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)16:41 No.16936367
    Too mainstream.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)16:41 No.16936373
    grail, veil of veronica and the crown of thorns
    >> Hank Pym !!A0/lWspso1i 11/13/11(Sun)16:42 No.16936379
    Man, what a dick.
    Also, it's probably in some attic or something. People unknowingly end up with valuable crap just lying around all the time.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)16:48 No.16936444
    Wow, smashing one of those would be ultimate musical blasphemy.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)16:52 No.16936477
         File1321221146.jpg-(26 KB, 400x266, King of the Sunbros.jpg)
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    We don't want to get arrested.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)17:03 No.16936585
    Sword of Osman, impossibly ancient sword of the first Ottoman Sultan


    Iron Crown of Lombardy, said to be made from the nails of the crucifixion

    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)17:05 No.16936596
    No. The building one of many similar temples built in the area to house idols. IIRC it has been partially destroyed and rebuilt once or twice, too.
    What's important is that once mohamed went there and destroyed all the idols except one, a black stone (was it a metorite ? I'm not sure) that is supposedly divine. The stone is what's worshipped there.

    I'm saying this without taking the effort of checking wikipedia, but I'm pretty sure the stone is still there, though she broke once because of a fire.
    >> Emperor's Champion !!dTSxH/3+AFl 11/13/11(Sun)17:13 No.16936675
    Genghis Khan's tomb, full of all his treasures.

    >high level dungeon
    >full of weapons, gold, and awesome stuff
    >last room of dungeon
    >open door, step inside
    >giant golden throne with genghis khan's corpse on it.
    >tons of treasure in this room.
    >touch treasure
    >genghis wakes up
    >ZOMBIE GENGHIS vs. party
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)17:17 No.16936716
         File1321222666.jpg-(67 KB, 716x692, khopeshlvz.jpg)
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    >>16936585 impossibly ancient sword
    >>Osman I 1258-1326
    Is there some legend about it that Wiki doesn't mention? Because around seven hundred years old isn't exactly impossibly ancient here. Here's two swords from Tutankhamen's tomb, so about 33 centuries old.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)17:20 No.16936741
    this blood qu'ran sounds an awful lot like a phylactery. are we sure saddam is actually dead?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)17:21 No.16936751

    He's partying with Elvis right now for sure.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)17:21 No.16936754
    That's like Alaric's tomb, they diverted a fucking river or something to cover it forever.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)17:25 No.16936785
    Well hopefully that forever can be changed into "until I have the money".
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)17:35 No.16936867
         File1321223732.png-(715 KB, 624x932, carmen2.png)
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    pic related
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)17:36 No.16936875
         File1321223777.png-(593 KB, 551x1473, carmen1.png)
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    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)17:38 No.16936896
         File1321223933.jpg-(19 KB, 209x500, carmen3.jpg)
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    >Meet Aurora Giselle SanDiego. Or, as her friends call her...
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)17:39 No.16936904
         File1321223965.gif-(43 B, 1x1, carmen3.gif)
    43 B
    >Already Gone.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)17:47 No.16936962
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)17:50 No.16936974
    I thought it was supposed to be a .gif but it turns out the creator decided to be clever and have another HTML table pop up to cover it after five seconds of viewing the page.
    I don't know how to make a proper .gif so I just split it up to get a similar effect.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)18:00 No.16936983
    The "black box" is a black shroud around a pillared building, inside the building they keep two meteors which are encrusted with silver and gems.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)18:20 No.16936990
    You're very, very wrong. I know this since I'm a muslim.

    The place is revered by muslims, as well as jews and christians. At least the ones who can remember their roots.

    The Kaabah was built by Abraham, and it is said that his footprints are on soil, encased by glass. I've been there and seen the soil, and it is quite marvelous. Whether the footprints on there are those of Abraham, I do not know.

    Hijjr E Asfat (the black stone) isn't that special, it's just the first stone that was used to build the Kaabah. Traditionally, it is considered to be a good idea to show your respect by kissing the stone.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)18:20 No.16936991
         File1321226435.jpg-(132 KB, 500x375, kabbah.jpg)
    132 KB
    Who/What is this guy?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)18:20 No.16936993
    Oh God! Saddam had horcruxes
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)18:24 No.16937003
    The janitor.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)18:28 No.16937016
    well OBVIOUSLY he is blue da ba de dab a di.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)18:31 No.16937032
         File1321227088.png-(454 KB, 500x375, Untitled.png)
    454 KB
    Forget the guy, what's this thing on the roof of the building?

    Looks like a vent of some kind... which means someone could theoretically parachute on to the top, climb through the vent, steal the magical shit inside, and escape via jet pack.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)18:32 No.16937035
    It's for ventilation, but you can't really crawl through it. Trust me.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)18:33 No.16937038
    I'm pretty sure that thing is covered by cloth now. It was when I was in Mekkah a couple of months ago
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)18:33 No.16937040
    They must have to replace the cloth covering the entire building once in a while, right?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)18:34 No.16937045
    Tell me your secrets, Mohammedan-anon!

    Anything useful you can share about the magic black box of Islam?
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)18:35 No.16937052
    >urge to crack it open and oggle at all the forbidden goodness rising.
    >> Anonymous 11/13/11(Sun)18:36 No.16937054
    >magic black box of Islam
    It's actually a Tardis with a functioning chameleon circuit. The Emperor of Mankind killed the Time Lord who came to this world, but could never find, or perhaps enter, the timeless device.
    >> Anonymous 11/14/11(Mon)21:41 No.16938196
    >> Anonymous 11/14/11(Mon)22:53 No.16938731
    Archaeologists are able to find a layer of earth containing an element called Iridium. This element is present mostly in meteor impact zones, but there is also a very thin layer found all over the world. This indicates that a gigantic meteor impact occurred which encompassed the entire planet. Radio carbon dating confirms this layer of Iridium at around 65 million years. It is likely that these are the remnants of the asteroid impact that caused the extinction of the dinosaurs.

    What if someone collected enough of that iridium to create a small stone? In the hands of a sorcerer, something that caused the deaths of all surface life on the planet could have untold powers if properly treated.
    >> Anonymous 11/15/11(Tue)02:51 No.16938763
    "All surface life" is an exaggeration. Extinction event, certainly, but life went on.

    And it wasn't even the only event on that scale.

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