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  • File : 1323054026.jpg-(277 KB, 800x805, Ork Disguise.jpg)
    277 KB Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)22:00 No.17109075  
    It seems I rarely have the time for stories nowadays, but I still find some. As always, in Deffwotch, the players are Orks who trick the Imperium into thinking they are Spess Mehreens. They fly around looking for fights, loot, and a right good larf.

    Kroz Rubbykonzes - Flyboy
    Grimslag 'Eadmangla - Kommando
    Wazgor Shakbag - Stormboy
    Grakgut Grumwizzlewot - Painboy
    Wurrza Zzappar - Weirdboy

    The most recent session was...strange. As I said before, there will be those who hate it, and those who will be confused by it. By telling the story as I do, you will be granted as much knowledge as my players have. I leave you to make your own decisions.

    'Ere we go.
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)22:00 No.17109085
    yay best part of the week
    >> 11 - Aura of Failure Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)22:02 No.17109105
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    The Kill Team has begun unpacking the Last Danca of the loot, while holding orbit above Kar'tyr. Studio 69 has just engaged hyperdrive and left the area.
    The boyz are moving the loot, mostly various types of Tau personal weaponry, to the loot holdz and armories.

    "An' DON'T DROP'EM!" yells 'Eadmangla as he supervises the transfer. Wurrza has some sent to his Wizard's Tower, where he picks through the weaponry while adjusting his lucky burna. Grakgut is looking at his one power klaw, and deciding he needs another.

    "Dats a lot'a pulse. Gots ta start makin dat Sank Shunz." says Kroz, as he begins disassembling and kustomizin' some of the weaponry.

    After a few hours of moving piles of dakka, suddenly the alarm starts blaring.
    "WOT. I AIN'T DUN YET" yells Kroz, annoyed.
    "Woops... sorry, boss. Crossed sum wires. Dat's just da Skanna Jamma." says Uzgob.
    "Stop 'oldin' it loik a stuck squig!" says Grakgut.
    "It's picked up sumfin' again," shrugs Uzgob, "Message'z in da Mekbay when yer ready, boss."
    "Jus' read it ta me 'ere. Da uh... mek-bridge iz lotsa dakka roight now." says Kroz.
    "Yer kall, boss." says Uzgob over the vox, as he smashes a button.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)22:04 No.17109118
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    The Main Screen turns on, and the Kill Team is greeted with fire an brimstone so thick one can easily smell it.
    "This is Ecclesiarchal World Isot!" says an old priest, "This is a distress beacon on all channels!"
    "Wot's 'appenin'?" asks Wurrza to the rest of the Kill Team.
    "The Forces of Chaos are attacking our world!" the recording says.
    "Spiky gitz!" yells Grakgut enthusiastically.
    "We are holding them back, but by the Emperor there seems to be more by the moment!" the priest says, "Our fire and faith protects us, and we shall protect our relics and treasures with our dying brea-" the signal cuts out.
    "Yeah, dats 'airasee all roight, but wots dey got fer lootin' again?" asks Kroz.
    "Uh...spiky bitz?" posits Grakgut.
    "An' reliks." adds Wurrza, "If dey get'em first, dey make'em extra-'eretikal."
    "Dat gud or bad?" asks Kroz.
    "Dunno." says Grakgut, "but let'z grab'em first!"

    As Kroz runs to the big red GO button, he does a running leap over the half-finished sarcophagus chair, and punches the button. The Looted Krooza shakes as it enters the warp.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)22:06 No.17109140
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    It's a five day trip. The first two days go by relatively uneventfully. Kroz uses this time to kustomize the team's weapons with upgrades. On the third night, nobody seems to sleep well.

    Everyone has strange dreams. On one side, the Kill Team sees a man in a black suit and white vest, standing next to a serpentine figure with a long tail and multiple arms. On the other, they see a very fat smiling man. He appears to be wrapped in simple cloth. He is alone. Beyond you see an endless purple expanse, with warp storms and rocks floating in the distance.

    "Wait. Wots dis place?" asks Kroz, "... one of youze iz gunna give us loot roight?
    "In time." says the fat smiling man, as the Kill Team members are overtaken in a flash of light, and wake up.

    "...wot da zog wuz dat?" asks Kroz.

    >Warp Phenomena: Dreams and whatnot
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)22:07 No.17109159
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    In the Painbay, Grakgut and Wazgor are awakened to a voice.
    "OY! LISSEN!"
    Over and over.
    "OY! LISSEN!"
    This continues through the night.
    "OY! LISSEN!"
    "NO." Says Skarfang's Head, "NOW...OY, LISSEN."
    "DATS IT." declares Grakgut.
    "GRAKGUT." yells Wazgor.
    "WUT'RE YA DOIN'?"

    Grakgut walks to the door to the raw Warp outside, opens it, and goes to punt Skarfang's head out. As Grakgut goes to close the door, he and Wazgor suddenly see a massive claw block the door.
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)22:08 No.17109167
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    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)22:09 No.17109171
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    "NO SOLEECEETOORZ!" yells Grakgut.
    Grakgut and Wazgor are greeted with the face of a Great Unclean One and its rot.
    The Warp Intrusion alarms begin blaring.

    Grakgut and Wazgor are now in combat with the great unclean one. Wazgor makes his fear test spectacularly, while Grakgut does not. Grakgut is badly taken aback, and is at a slight penalty in combat. Wazgor opens up with some Deathspinner shots, while Grakgut attempts to tank the GUO. Unfortunately, the GUO has psychic powers. Wazgor leaves to get more boyz for the fight, while Kroz is watching from the bridge.

    "oi, oi, ME SHIP! YA GITZ!" cries Kroz. He decides to take drastic measures. Remembering what Uzgob said about doors sealing, Kroz begins smashes buttons. The Krooza cogitators thunder in.
    "ATTENSHUN ALL KREW. ALL BOYZ IN SECTION FFFFUU, PREPARE FER 'MERGENZY PLAZMA DRIVER. IZ GUNNA GIT HOT IN DERE." yells Kroz as he hits another button, and activates the Beast Solution
    >You know, Homeworld Cataclysm
    Grakgut and the GUO are bathed in raw plasma. The GUO is incinerated, as is Grakgut who burns fate to live. As the door seals itself, the last thing Grakgut feels is something land on his chest.
    "HURR HURR HURR, WOT A DUMB GIT!" says Skarfang's Head, as it bounces into the vents.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)22:11 No.17109189
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    Wazgor brings Kroz back to the medbay, and in a miracle of untrained medicine, the Kill Team brings Grakgut back to consciousness. Grakgut is not fully untouched. The plasma venting from the Beast Solution reduced Grakgut's Toughness permanently by 5, but he is otherwise nonplussed.

    "DON'T DO DAT AGAIN." yells Wazgor.
    "Foine," sighs Grakgut "But next toime oi see Skarfang...Imma eat 'im."

    Grakgut patches Wazgor up, and attempts to patch himself up, only to realize he never took the rank 2 Hardy advance, and counts as heavily wounded, regaining only 5 wounds the last two days of travel.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)22:13 No.17109209
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    After the fifth day, da Looted Krooza finally is ejected out of the warp over Isot. Isot is a hot blistering hellhole, and even from orbit the Kill Team can see duststorms and heat cyclones.

    "By the Emperor, they've sent Astartes!" yells a voice over the Voxcaster, "Please, come to the Ministorum Chapellum Primaris...um as soon as you can! We are holding our last!"
    "weeze'll get dere soon az da rokk-podz iz down. Rubbykonzez Out." says Kroz.
    "Bettah git goin'!" says Grakgut eagerly.

    As everyone hops into the Last Danca,, Boldo included, Kroz takes off. The windstorms buffet the Danca heavily, but Kroz keeps it MOSTLY steady. Kroz lands the Last Danca about half a Kilometer away. The Kill Team can see the Ministorum Chapellum Primarisum in the distance.

    "Whyz all deze placez got 'um' at da end uv dere namez?" asks Grakgut.
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)22:14 No.17109222

    >"NO SOLEECEETOORZ!" yells Grakgut.

    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)22:16 No.17109234
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    It's a short walk over to the Chapellum. Reaching the gates, they appear to be locked. The Kill Team suddenly hears the sound of a number of bolters readied as a number of Sisters of Battle pop the battlements.
    "Space marines!" one yells.
    The kill team sees a bald black priest run up. "Man, thank the God Emperor you arrived!" says the priest, "I'm Dave. Follow me! I can bring you to the Chapellum! If you need reloads, I can take you to the Armory!"
    "Gud! Dem bloo lightz iz lucky." says Kroz.
    "Oy, Dave!" says Grakgut.
    "Yes, Astartes?" asks Dave.
    "Why'z all deze 'um-all da buildin's end up wif um at da end?" asks Grakgut.
    "Basic Gothic grammatical suffix." says Dave.
    "Wot..." says Wazgor.
    "It shows up in mostly High Gothic. The faithful don't really need to know much about that though. They only need the God Emperor, you know?" says Dave.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)22:19 No.17109268
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    All of a sudden, the Kill Team hears a shriek echo through the place. "ORKS!"
    "Where?" yells Grakgut.
    "Wot'z da distress?" asks Wurrza.
    Three sisters are holding one sister, who is looking absolutely infuriated.
    "Please, excuse our sister, Noble Astartes. She must be hallucinating!" the sisters say as they drag the angry one away.
    "It'z probably da stress o' battul." notes Grakgut.
    "I believe so too, Astartes." says Dave.
    "We'ze also...uh...been krumpin' lotsa orkz. She musta seen ork gubbinz or sumfin." adds Wazgor hastily.

    Dave takes the Kill Team into the Chapellum. The chapellum has a spire that extends high in the sky. A number of sisters and priests are standing around a hololith display. "We have limited arms, Astartes, but our armory lies that way if you need to reload. But please come back to us when you're ready!" says Dave, "We must discuss our fight!"
    "Only an inspekshun," says Kroz, "If fings get proppa, we'ze bring in mo' boyz in da podz."
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)22:22 No.17109295
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    The Kill Team heads to the armory. Dave was right. There really isn't anything left. The Kill Team pockets what little ammo and fuel is left. However, in the corner, they notice a blue light.
    "Got a selection of good things on sale, stranger!" says the Merchant.

    Kroz manages to pick up a Weapon MIU. Grakgut gets a second Best-Quality Klaw. 'Eadmangla manages to snag a best-quality Krootbow. Wazgor gets himself a Best-Quality Pulse Carbine, and Wurrza gets himself a supply of Nephium fuel. Together, the players acquire a team's worth of Arm Weapon Mountings for their many new bits of dakka.

    "Deeze fingz iz gunna need sum modificashunz, but erey'one iz gunna have a lotz'o dakka!" exclaims Kroz happily.

    The armory lies empty and dark. The bolter racks are empty, and the flame ammo holder things lie hollow. Most of the stuff here has gone to the battle.

    "Weze bettah git stuck in soon." says Grakgut.
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)22:23 No.17109300
    I love you.
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)22:23 No.17109302

    Out of curiosity, what's the Killz Teemz disguise mondifier? If only one SoB could see through it, it's got to be insanely high.
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)22:24 No.17109303
    >"Got a selection of good things on sale, stranger!" says the Merchant.

    Oh god my sides
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)22:25 No.17109314
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    Heading out, Dave and the other priests are standing over the Hololith Displays.

    "Astartes, as you know we have been fighting off these heretics for as long as we can." says Dave, "We'll never let them get to the Reliquarium."
    "Where are dey?" asks Grakgut, "We'll smite'em wif our smitey bitz."
    "Excellent! We'll get them distributed as soon as we can!" says Dave, "The Reliquiarium is under the strictest lock and key. The Heretics keep keep coming from the east. They send their summoned daemons which throw themselves against our lines."
    Dave turns to the Hololith.
    "It's been a stalemate so far, and-"
    Dave is interrupted by a battle sister.
    "Ecclesiarch! They come again!" says the battle sister.

    Rushing out to the hard darkness of the chapellum steps, the Kill Team sees a number of daemons beginning to rush the walls. As most of the Kill Team begins charging forward at where they THINK the fight is, 'Eadmangla looks through his scope and sees a familiar sight.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)22:27 No.17109329
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    ""I don't think they heard you, say it louder!" says Plague.
    "TRY USING THIS." says Noise, speaking through a loud hailer.
    "BY THE DARK GODS MY EARS!" yells Berzerker.
    "Look! Beyond the walls!" says Sorceror, "the Deathwatch!"
    "You gitz again!" yells Kroz.
    "Could barely 'ear ya ova da stupid!" says Grakgut.
    "No, you're stupid!" says Noise.
    "No you!" says Grakgut.
    "You will fall to our might!" yells Sorceror, raising his new bionic arm.
    "Servants of Chaos! Cha-" begins Berzerker. He is suddenly cut off by claps of thunder and flashing of light. As the light dims, something else has entered the battle.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)22:29 No.17109351
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    The Daemonic Lectors have taken the field. The Kill Team sees the Lectors attacking the sisters of battle, as expected, but the strangest thing is happening that NONE of them expected.

    The Lectors are also attacking the forces of Chaos.

    "Wot da zog is goin on..." says Wazgor.
    "Oi jus' dun get it..." replies Grakgut.
    "By the Dark Gods!" yells Noise, "What are those things?"
    ""Who cares!? JUST FIGHT!" yells Berzerker.
    "Hurr hurr, first good idea out yer mouth!" says Grakgut.
    "Astartes!" yells Dave, "we have a problem!"
    "Wot now?" sighs Grakgut.
    "Teleport signals have been detected INSIDE the Reliquarium!" replies Dave.
    "Wot in da name o' Gork an' Mork could dis possibly..." says Wazgor, "ZOG IT ALL TO WAAAGH!"
    "Zog da foightin' out 'ere, ya gits...to da Reliquarium! Dat's where da *REAL* FOIGHT's GONNA BE!" says Wurrza.
    "The Reliquarium is simply up the stairs, Astartes! In the Central Tower!" says Dave, grabbing his ecclesiarchal beatstick, "I'm gonna motivate some faithful!"
    Dave rushes off towards the walls.

    The Kill Team begins making their way up to the Reliquarium their own ways. Grakgut begins dual-klaw climbing, Wazgor flies up, Wurrza and 'Eadmangla begin walking up, and Kroz rushes off to get something.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)22:32 No.17109379
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    The kill team hears a series of impacts, and look out the windows / behind them. The Rokk Podz from Da Looted Krooza have finally arrived, each packed to the brim with angry Orkz. The battle turns into a bona-fide free for all. Bloodletters swarm one Lector, which collapses, only for all to be drowned in plasma from a nearby Heavy Lector. A Celestian charges one Lector, until a prehensile wire grabs her leg, and drags her to another Lector waiting nearby, when both disappear in a fireball of rokkitz, grenades, shoota rounds, and bomb squigz.

    Breaking into the Reliquarium, the Kill Team sees a number of Lectors flanking Richard Garo. "I've finally found exactly what I need, Deathwatch." says Garo. He is holding a strange black orb, one of the Ecclesiarchal Relics.

    'Eadmangla, in the meantime, sets up a quick-drawed called shot, which hits Garo. Wurrza also begins to fire his burna out. At this moment, Kroz smashes the Last Danca through the wall, Boldo at his back, all guns aimed at Garo and the Lectors.'Eadmangla's shot, however, disrupts Garo. Garo's shield kicks in (9 on a PR 30), and stumbles him backwards, causing him to click something on the relic he is holding. Everyone in the area is suddenly surrounded by purple light. After a bit, everyone comes to. Looking around, the Kill Team's not in the Reliquarium anymore...
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)22:36 No.17109424
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    Looking around, the Kill Team appears to be on a solid rock footing. The sky is...wrong. Great pink storms circle in the sky, as well as floating rocklets all around. Some of the rocklets are impacting each other. Some of the storms, which look suspiciously like Warp Storms are combining and separating with each other at random. The place is suffused with a dim light.
    "So dis iz were pahple comez from!" says Grakgut.
    "I'z so konfused..." mutters Wazgor.
    "Wait...dis looks like dat dream place..." says 'Eadmangla.
    Kroz is disoriented. He was in the Last Danca not moments before. Now he's flat on his ass, Boldo flying around in circles and chirping.
    "Welcome." says a voice.
    Grakgut begins punching the air. "Oi kan krump anyfin'. EVEN PURPLE!"
    "I can't say you'll make much progress like that." says the voice.
    "You'ze muckin' about, den!" yells Wurrza, as he pushes a Doom Bolt in the direction of the voice...

    ...and rolls perils.
    ...and rolls perils again.
    ...and rolls Cataclysmic Blast.

    Wurrza goes nuclear. All his gear and equipment is fried, and Wurrza is left smoking and armorless on the ground. His brain also exploded so hard he cannot use psychic powers for 4 hours.

    "That sort of thing tends to happen..." says the voice, "Never think you are guaranteed success."
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)22:40 No.17109454
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    The kill team turns from the pile of smoking Wurrza to the voice's source - a smiling fat man in simple clothes.

    "You doubtlessly have questions?" says the fat smiling man, "I would expect you to. It is not often I receive visitors, much less orks."
    "Welp, no point in hidin' it now..." begins Eadmangla.
    "Lemme aska ya wut ya probly alwayz 'ear. Wut iz dis place?" asks Grakgut.
    "This place?" the man looks around. "A graveyard of sorts. Where the dead but not dead go to rest, and dissipate in peace"
    "So we'ze ded?" asks Grakgut.
    Of course not." he says, "Because you're here."
    "So, dis is where da humies go?"asks 'Eadmangla.
    "No, not quite." says the man.
    "So...wot youze do anyway?" asks Kroz.
    "Me? I simply make sure things go as wrong as possible." says the fat man, "It's my job description."
    The kill team stares at Wurrza, then at the fat man.
    "You are here because of a mistake." he says, "You were not intended to go on the ride to find my...other half."
    "Otha 'alf?" asks Grakgut.
    "Yes." says the man, "We were one once, a great betrayer, but time has softened us to two - a Doubter, and an Undoer."
    "Iz you Gork and Mork?" asks Wazgor.
    "I am not Gork, or Mork." says the fat man, "You may call me Zuvassin."
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)22:42 No.17109484
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    "OH! KAN YA TELL US WHERE GORK AN' MORK IZ?" asks Grakgut.
    "Dats a dumb kwestion." says Kroz, "Everywun knows dey'z fightin' in da warp somewhere."
    "And I can confidently say they are not in this area of it," says Zuvassin, "if such a concept could be possible. They are elsewhere."
    "Oh, iz da Emprah 'ere?" asks 'Eadmangla.
    "I have not seen him either." says Zuvassin.
    "Awright! Next stop is dis 'ELSEWHERE' place!" says Grakgut cheerfully.
    "Speaking of elsewhere, I find it strange. my counterpart, the one called Nehoco, seems to be growing ever more powerful." says Zuvassin, "You have no doubt seen his Lectors?"
    "Yeah... we'ze seen'em!" says 'Eadmangla.
    "Doze fings were killin' da otha daemons!" adds Wazgor.
    "They are daemons of Logic incarnate." says Zuvassin, "fitting for one who wishes to remove all trace of religion. The Humans' Emperor, the Gods of Chaos, even your Gork and Mork."
    "Wut?" says Grakgut, perplexed, "but...dats illogikal."
    "He grows ever more powerful. " says Zuvassin, "and I know not how."
    "WAIT. Youze tellin me dat dem two-leg jumpy fingz dat dun werk so gud iz supposed to be all logik?" asks Kroz.
    "Correct." replies Zuvassin.
    "He manages." says Zuvassin.
    "So where iz 'e?" asks 'Eadmangla.
    "I'z gonna pants'im!" yells Grakgut.
    ""You are very strange orks." says Zuvassin, "if orks can be called normal. Necoho is here somewhere, but looking for him means you will never find him."
    "... cuz iz alwayz in da LAST place ya look, eh?" says Kroz.
    "Indeed, one of my finest concepts!" says Zuvassin, laughing, "He is working through a mortal agent, though. If you want to find Nehoco, look for the one called Garo."
    The entire Kill Team bristles.
    "But I believe you already knew this, no?" adds Zuvassin.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)22:44 No.17109509
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    "So iz Garo 'ere?" asks Grakgut.
    "Garo has no doubt returned to the materium. He isn't here. He was never here. He has yet to be here." says Zuvassin, "That's simply the way things work here."
    "Den...Let's git outta 'ere an' find Garo!" says Grakgut.
    "Now, we come to one last problem." says Zuvassin. "Simply put, you can't leave here...not until I'm gone at least. So in return for this information, you must do me a favor."
    The kill team stares at Zuvassin.
    "Undo me." he says. "Quite frankly, I tire of this existence. I'll still be able to undo your plans when needed, but it will be much easier when I'm not here."
    "Oh! Youze want us ta krump ya! Okay!" says Grakgut enthusiastically.
    "Dun worry, Iz'll krump ya gud!" says Kroz.
    "This will be an interesting fight." says Zuvassin.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)22:48 No.17109554
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    The smiling fat man assumes a martial stance. Zuvassin, being a creature of concept, of the warp itself, is himself a warp weapon. Despite his bulk, he can still move incredibly fast. He also naturally ignores some attacks, represented as a shield with PR30, which we all called the "fat save." Zuvassin's most dangerous weapon, however, was not even a weapon. Zuvassin, being the renegade god of sabotage and undoing, had the Aura of Failure, where everyone around him would have to reroll successful attacks not generated by fate. This caused great problems for the Kill Team, where seemingly successful attacks just weren't.

    Zuvassin might be a renegade god of chaos, but millenia of neglect and his own very nature leave a Chaos God only as strong as how much they are believed in. Zuvassin is almost forgotten, while through the actions of Garo Necoho grows stronger...somehow. It is this concept that allowed the Kill Team to fight on a slightly less than equal basis. Wurrza, realizing he has no weapons, armor, or psychic powers, and having important business the next day, calls it a night. Grakgut, having almost no wounds from his PREVIOUS fight, burns fate again to survive Zuvassin's lightning fast martial artistry. While 'Eadmangla unloads covering fire from the background, Wazgor rushes into melee with his looted Omnissian Axe, and Kroz readies his Power Drill and charges. Ultimately Kroz gets the final hit, drilling through Zuvassin. Boldo chirps.

    "Perhaps it will be permanent this time..." says Zuvassin as he explodes. The kill team is suffused with a bright light again. After a few seconds of bright light, the kill team finds themselves ass-flat on the sands of Isot. There's dead corpses everywhere. Mostly sisters. The place is deserted.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)22:49 No.17109570
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    The Last Danca is still embedded in the Chapellum tower. The only loot left around is whatever the sisters were wearing / wielding, and even that looks picked through. Kroz begins to back the Last Danca out the Chapellum, but forgets to hit the afterburners and hits the ground with a thud. The Kill Team starts loading the corpses of the sisters into the Last Danca - if anything, they reason they can use the blood to sanctify their weapons in preparation for the next fights.

    "Boss? Boss!" the voxcaster yells.
    "UZGOB?" asks Kroz.
    "Where wuz ya?" asks Uzgob, "You'ze been gone fer weeks!"
    "Wot 'appened?" asks 'Eadmangla.
    "Yeah, boss!" says Uzgob, "Ya went ta zog da gits in da towa, an' den disappeared!"
    "Pliskin picked through most of da 'umie bitz, left da stuff 'e didn't like."
    "WHERE'Z DA BOYZ?" asks Kroz.
    "Da boyz're all 'ere. We'ze been fightin' dem daemon fings," says Uzgob, "Wuz startin' ta get borin'."
    "An' where's dat priest-git wit da beatstikk?" asks Kroz.
    "Uh, last we saw, da git ran afta sum daemons, yellin' sumfin' 'bout couches." says Uzgob.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)22:51 No.17109586
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    The Kill Team crams into the Last Danca. The trip up is solemn and quiet. Upon landing on the Looted Krooza, da boyz show up to help unload the corpses.
    "Awroight boss, 'eres da loadout!" says Pliskin. Between the stolen humie relics, the blood of the sisters of battle, and the identification of their enemy, the totals became 1000 xp, 5 PF. Their total profit factor is now 72. The kill team readies themselves for their next attack on Richard Garo and indirectly his master, Necoho, the Chaos God of Anti-Theism.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)22:56 No.17109632
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    I hope people realize this is not meant to be DEEP AND THOUGHT-PROVOKING COMMENTARY or anything. And I can already smell the confusion and anger. I guess you could say we had to get a lot of plot done, if you could call it that. Things are building up, you could say.


    To answer your question, it's a sort of Fellowship-based roll I do off screen. Yes, it is retardedly high, as long as the kill team is wearing their disguised armor. They never go anywhere unarmored anyway, so it works out.
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)22:58 No.17109655
         File1323057506.jpg-(46 KB, 396x234, Rick James.jpg)
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    >dave's chapellum
    >sumfin' bout couches
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)22:59 No.17109664

    holy shit, i just noticed that
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)23:03 No.17109702
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    >use the blood to sanctify their weapons in preparation for the next fights.

    but...how could you.
    >> Grakgut 12/04/11(Sun)23:06 No.17109725
    Confused? Naw. Angry? Not even slightly. Curious? Totally.

    I never thought I'd die twice in a single session though, but I've always spent my fate points early in the game anyways. I may have run out of fate points, but at least I didn't blow up all of my errythang.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)23:07 No.17109730
         File1323058045.png-(134 KB, 708x582, Grey Knight shock.png)
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    At least you could say the Kill Team is being prudent and planning ahead...
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)23:08 No.17109738
    at least it wasnt as bad as having robin krudence writing your codex
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)23:08 No.17109741

    I think he meant the rest of /tg/. I know I'm a bit confused. Shas'o better be planning SOMETHING.
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)23:11 No.17109761

    Well, Zuvassin and Necoho are OLD Chaos Gods from the 1980's that nobody talks about anymore. They were made to replace Malal, which must be the "one becomes two" bit. Shas probably IS planning something. We just don't know what yet.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)23:16 No.17109795
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    Tomorrow's session is going to be interesting. The only thing I can say is it's the lead up to something incredible. I won't spoil the rest of it.
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)23:24 No.17109844
    oh shas u so crazy
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)23:31 No.17109905
    holy shit I get it
    I get what he is

    you clever son of a bitch
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)23:33 No.17109918

    get what? share the knowledge!
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)23:36 No.17109952
    Zuvassin, I know what he is. But I wont say it becasue I know that some of the players come to these threads, and dont want to spoil it.
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)23:37 No.17109955
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    >Boldo chirps.
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)23:37 No.17109966

    Well, he's already flat-out stated he's a renegade chaos god. So if it's anything like that you've slowpoked.
    >> Kroz 12/04/11(Sun)23:43 No.17110009
    Still feel like an ass for pulling a purge on'im, but already designing his dreadnougat, and it will be spectacular.

    That fight was NOT going well in there though. GUOs are ridiculously tough (far as I know the most resilient targets in the game short of a starship). 'Ast Danca almost has an easier time taking damage from personal weapons than these gits, its just nowhere near the integrity of the buggers. Wasn't sure how long he had to run out of there once activated.

    Was so looking forward to tangling with the Lifeguards...
    >> Anonymous 12/04/11(Sun)23:46 No.17110046

    I think everyone here would have done the same thing, especially when you OPEN THE DOOR DIRECTLY TO THE WARP
    >> Grakgut 12/04/11(Sun)23:48 No.17110060
    Next time I see Skarfang, I'm going to eat him.
    >> Kroz 12/04/11(Sun)23:56 No.17110142
    Boldo's slowly gettin larger. From memory that time he sucked off a Fire Warrior was somewhat inefficient, however. I'm thinking we should see what his full size is and once he's done growing, enhance his capabilities a bit.

    Maybe add verniers to the wings, set up a powerfield unit on his teeth, and use him as a detatchable jump-pack. I think everyone's got plans to go play with some more Hazard Suits anyways... Imagine an orkified end-of-Super-sized Metroid.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/04/11(Sun)23:58 No.17110150

    I'll be addressing those concerns, and others, in tonight's reminder email.
    >> Grakgut 12/04/11(Sun)23:59 No.17110154
    Sweet. I'd like to know how best to cook Skarfangs head.
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 12/05/11(Mon)00:01 No.17110168
    >> Kroz 12/05/11(Mon)00:05 No.17110201
    Well, not so much concern as a character-side view of wanting to make things orkier.
    >> Kroz 12/05/11(Mon)00:08 No.17110221
    It had been marinating in that aquarium, doing nothing but callin us gitz and amassing flavor for how many weeks now?

    Next, on Iron Git... Battle 'Ead!
    >> Anonymous 12/05/11(Mon)00:13 No.17110243
    Giant looted metroid is scary.
    >> Anonymous 12/05/11(Mon)00:18 No.17110279
    It seems like the players are more enjoying the storya nd ride than getting angry.

    Overall, how much does orkiness get in the way, or help, having a plot? I imagine its almost impossible to keep things dark and sinister for very long?
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/05/11(Mon)00:23 No.17110310

    I don't think the game was EVER dark and sinister. I find the entire situation hilarious. Remember, the game was BUILT around orks being orks, and the only way to disrupt that would be to act like a weedy 'umie.
    >> Anonymous 12/05/11(Mon)00:23 No.17110313
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    >dark and sinister
    >> Kroz 12/05/11(Mon)00:27 No.17110336
    We're the Happy Funtime of the Far Future: There is only WAAAGH.

    Plus since everyone's an oddboy, there's no real warboss, just a bunch of nobz that stand atop their own sector. Ork democracy must be the most mind-boggling thing ever for the imperium.
    >> Grakgut 12/05/11(Mon)00:33 No.17110366

    >Dark and Sinister
    >Orks disguised as Spess Mehreens
    >Rolling Nob-Rival head
    >Five-headed CyGrot
    >Our Lootaz are orks in cardboard boxes
    >We have chairs made out of sarcophagi and Rak'Gol
    >Squig morphball
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 12/05/11(Mon)00:36 No.17110389

    >Five-headed CyGrot

    As long as that thing stays in the goddamn closet, all is well in the world.
    >> Grakgut 12/05/11(Mon)00:40 No.17110415
    It'll stay there unless I can't find something. Like my socks or next meal.
    >> Anonymous 12/05/11(Mon)00:53 No.17110493
    >"Wot da zog is goin on..." says Wazgor.
    pic related?

    >"Iz you Gork and Mork?"
    I need a picture of an Ork whose eyes arent looking in the same direction.
    >> Kroz 12/05/11(Mon)00:58 No.17110521
    Hadn't they revived the 6th head a while back?

    Always fun to find out what new horror grakgut's come up with.

    Well, that and the thought that he's performing surgery with two power-klaws...
    >> Anonymous 12/05/11(Mon)01:00 No.17110532
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    pic got ate.
    >> Anonymous 12/05/11(Mon)01:01 No.17110538
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    Like so?
    >> Grakgut 12/05/11(Mon)01:01 No.17110545
    Head numbah 6 popped, and I loathe to consider attaching Skarfang to it.
    >> Anonymous 12/05/11(Mon)01:03 No.17110553
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    >> Anonymous 12/05/11(Mon)01:08 No.17110593
    That was fast.
    >> Anonymous 12/05/11(Mon)01:28 No.17110716
    Don't forget to loot a carnifex if you ever find one
    Or a Tyrant Guard; they're smaller, fit more places

    Late Night Bump of Awesome
    >> MonkeyToho 12/05/11(Mon)02:05 No.17110954
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    rolled 57 = 57


    I am shamelessly ripping off this fight concept somewhere down the road.
    >> Anonymous 12/05/11(Mon)02:48 No.17111271
    final evening bump
    >> Kroz 12/05/11(Mon)03:12 No.17111420
         File1323072743.jpg-(27 KB, 216x319, Iz yooze a wizz'ard.jpg)
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    Something like this, perhaps?
    >> Anonymous 12/05/11(Mon)05:35 No.17112087
    So Grakgut died twice in one session and the psyker went nuclear... how close did they get to TPK?

    early morning bump
    >> Anonymous 12/05/11(Mon)05:56 No.17112178
    I lol'd.
    >> Hidersine 12/05/11(Mon)08:13 No.17112737
    I half expected Zuvassin to suddenly morph into a ork and go "hurr hurr, Youz got me, ya gitz"
    >> Anonymous 12/05/11(Mon)12:49 No.17114359

    It seems the remaining three held their own after two party members went down.
    >> Anonymous 12/05/11(Mon)14:52 No.17115295
    >>Whole thread is fucking amazing
    >>Check 1d4chan for archive

    /tg/, theres something very wrong with this picture. ARCHIVE NAO!
    >> Anonymous 12/05/11(Mon)17:59 No.17116986
         File1323125966.png-(186 KB, 354x364, Iz you Gork and Mork copy.png)
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    >> Anonymous 12/05/11(Mon)19:45 No.17118109
    this is so awesome, someone archive this....
    >> Anonymous 12/05/11(Mon)19:55 No.17118228
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    why is this not archived?
    >> Someone else. !!nzvVFSxRvKn 12/05/11(Mon)19:56 No.17118243
    1d4chan isn't an archive, it's a wiki.
    >> Anonymous 12/05/11(Mon)19:57 No.17118252
    because it's not spess mehreens. that's the sad reason why.
    >> Anonymous 12/05/11(Mon)20:14 No.17118459
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    Archival Request Forms submitting...

    Archival Complete.

    >pic seemingly unrelated
    >> Anonymous 12/05/11(Mon)21:37 No.17119257
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    Re-captioned with a line from a previous DeffWotch session.
    >> Anonymous 12/06/11(Tue)00:02 No.17120417
    this is great. only a few of them were archived though, is the rest somewhere?

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