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  • File : 1325531478.jpg-(79 KB, 506x567, zdp.jpg)
    79 KB You are now a Dragon Priest. WTF do you do Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)14:11 No.17402654  
    By the machinations of the Nine Divines and the Daedric lords you woke up today to discover that you have been transformed into a undead, rotting, dragon priest. You seem to have no requirement to serve Alduin or any dragon at all however. Simply put, you are a free man.

    You find that you have some items of value with you. They are:

    -A enchanted staff. It looks like it has many more uses than simply shooting fireballs.
    -A full set of powerful armor capable of protecting you from many dangers.
    -A dragon priest mask. It seems to radiate power yet you cannot seem to identify exactly what effects it has.
    -Something that looks suspiciously like a elder scroll with a green sticky note pasted to one end of it.
    -A ebony sword. The blade is sharp, it is after all a ebony weapon. You can detect no enchantments on it.
    -A ring.
    -A note. You would have to move closer to read it but you can see in rather large fancy script at the bottom, "Stay classy, Akatosh."

    What is your next move?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:12 No.17402661
    Read the sticky note.
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 01/02/12(Mon)14:14 No.17402673
    Get the fuck out of the dungeon and take everything I need with me.
    Better not risk meeting with Dovahkiin.
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)14:16 No.17402689
    Plucking the sticky note off the scroll you look and read it.
    "This may or may not be a Elder Scroll. You will know what it is when the time is right."

    That was not really helpful. Sounds like whoever wrote it is a pompous ass.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:16 No.17402691
    Marry Ysolda.

    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:17 No.17402701
    Well, now we know for sure that it either is an elder scroll or it isn't.

    ..No wait, what?
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)14:17 No.17402704
    You look around desperately for your waifu. Despite all your searching she does not appear to be in the ruined dungeon.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:18 No.17402707

    Read the scroll then, I guess?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:21 No.17402726
    Leave the dungeon and check the area around you.
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)14:21 No.17402727
    Trembling slightly, you pick the scroll up and prepare yourself to possibly be stricken blind.

    You open it up.... And nothing happens. You feel power in the scroll of a unusual sort. The surface of the scroll is not covered in the nonsensical runes you expected by instead a series of dots.

    Clearly whatever this is you do not understand how to use it.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:22 No.17402736
    Check if the sticky note said Elder Scrolls or Scroll of the Elders.
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)14:23 No.17402747
    You gather up you gear, stuff the note in your pocket and put on the mask. With a sudden crack and a whiff of ozone you feel the powers of the mask surge into you. It seems to bring your mind into focus.

    Picking up your staff you set off into the passageways of the dungeon.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:24 No.17402752
    Reading an elder scroll is generally a very bad idea and will leave you blind at best and erase your very existsnce from all of reality at worst.

    ... Lets do it.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:25 No.17402755

    Try seeing if there might be some Draugr you can order to follow you?
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)14:25 No.17402761
    While walking down a ruined hallway the thought occurs to you to double check the sticky note.

    Pulling it out you reread what is written there:

    "This may or may not be a Elder Scroll. You will know what it is when the time is right."

    You halt and float into the air slightly when you hear movement up ahead.

    Do you investigate?
    >> Morrowindfag 01/02/12(Mon)14:26 No.17402765
         File1325532403.jpg-(134 KB, 463x700, haggard.jpg)
    134 KB
    This is the "elderscroll" ?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:27 No.17402768
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:28 No.17402772
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:30 No.17402784
    What is a dragon priest's anal circumference?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:30 No.17402790
    Listen carefully. If there seems like there is something coming, find a hiding spot from which you easily spy on the intruder.
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)14:30 No.17402794
    Carefully moving in the shadows you sneak into the large chamber that seems to be the source of the movement. Peeking out from behind a crumbling pillar you see what appears to be a reanimated skeleton. Looking closer however you see that it is like no skeleton or dragur in your knowledge.

    The creatures body resembles that a skeleton yet it seems to be slick and almost gooey. Examining it closer still you see that the skeleton seems to actually be made out of some type of jelly.

    What do you do?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:30 No.17402795

    Crouch into Stealth Mode! In fact, always be in Stealth Mode!
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:31 No.17402796
         File1325532673.jpg-(69 KB, 434x651, Mask-3.jpg)
    69 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:32 No.17402807
    Or just float up to the cieling. People NEVER look up.

    You know what? Let's have some fun with this guy, if s/he isn't too dangerous.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:32 No.17402810
    Attempt to befriend skeleton jelly. That or test a dragon shout on him. We are one of the dragon priests after all
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:33 No.17402821
    Oh god yes.
    This is us.
    >> Morrowindfag 01/02/12(Mon)14:34 No.17402835
         File1325532871.jpg-(640 KB, 1053x2898, Skeleton_Jelly.jpg)
    640 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:34 No.17402836
    Use some ventriloquism to lure it to another spot, see how it reacts
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:36 No.17402852
    Throw voice. That's a shout, right?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:36 No.17402853
    Clearly we must acquire a mammoth tusk.

    And a body, with like muscles and a penis.
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)14:36 No.17402859
    You decide to attempt to befriend the skeleton. Rising up in the air you float toward the jelly skeleton until you are just 5 feet or so behind its head.
    "Boo" you say.
    The skeleton jelly whips around and peers up at you questioningly. Opening what seems to be a mouth it questioningly speaks:
    "Skeleton jelly"?
    This would seem to be its name or at least whatever type of creature it is.

    You have gained a companion! Skeleton jelly can carry items for you, will try and defend you and you can ask it for advice on the situations you get into as well!

    What now?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:36 No.17402861
         File1325533008.jpg-(160 KB, 600x600, 1306534725738.jpg)
    160 KB
    Is it a Reuniclus?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:37 No.17402874
    Ask the beautiful creature about where you are, and what it is.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:37 No.17402876
    Ask Skelleton Jelly "Where are we?"
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)14:40 No.17402889
    Seeking some answers you ask Skeleton Jelly what exactly he is, where the fuck you are and who you are.

    Skeleton Jelly looks at you wisely and tells you his what he thinks.

    "Skeleton Jelly!"

    Clearly he is a philosopher and a gentleman.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:41 No.17402895
    Might as well mess around and see what we are capable of, in terms of magic.

    Also, do we have any memories from before we woke up here?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:42 No.17402901
    Tell Skeleton Jelly that we are moving out and move to the next room of the dungeon
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:42 No.17402903
    Quietly applaud this scholarly statesman's speech, and continue through the tunnels, carefully, skeleton jelly behind you while you float on the ceiling observantly.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:42 No.17402912
    Fuck this shit it is getting us nowhere. Read the note by akatosh.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:43 No.17402913
    And you can bet your ass that involves a puzzle.

    Which will be on the other side of the door.

    The door is going to be locked.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:43 No.17402916
    Do we have any spells that can conjure a tophat
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:43 No.17402917

    Dual Cast Incinerate on a Draghr. If it doesn't get stunned then we are doomed.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:43 No.17402919
    We need to find some armor for Skeleton Jelly.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:44 No.17402922
    This, read the note. It may give some clues as to what the FUCK is going on.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:45 No.17402937
         File1325533553.jpg-(21 KB, 338x375, over9000hours.jpg)
    21 KB
    They call me Dragon Pete. I'm the Priest of the Dova beat.

    When I shout the maracas I go chick-chicky-boom, chick-chicky boom
    Yessir, I'm Dragon Pete. I'm the craze of my native tomb.

    When I start to dance, skeleton's go chick-chicky-boom, chick-chicky boom

    The dovahkiin they sing and they swing with terampero-

    It's very nice, so full of mead.

    And when they dance in they bring a happy ring that era krosis-

    Singin' a song, all the day long....
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:48 No.17402954
    rolled 8 = 8

    Can we teach the skeleton jelly to sing the female part? or at least do the skeleton jig?>>17402937
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)14:51 No.17402983
    Awed at the magnificence of this philosopher-poet of a creature you applaud as tears of joy run down what is left of your face.

    After you are done sobbing quietly you realize you still have not read the note by Akatosh. Opening it you read:

    "Hey brah what the fuck is up? I am like totally high right now! See me and my boy Alduin here decided to have a bet at this party about the fate of the world or some silly shit like that. Teh only problem with all this was we both being minor gods we always were rolling the odds in our favors and got nowhere so we decided to get a half half deal.

    Alduin get to create a single dragon priest on your plane of reality who can usher in the apocalypse but you are not bound to him in any way or form. I get a lifetimes supply of weed. So everything worked out all right.

    So go on and do whatever you want to do. Just stay excellent and more importantly
    Stay classy, Akatosh."

    Your think you are getting a headache. That or your skull has finally rotted away.

    What now?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:53 No.17403000

    Commence taking over the world as a totally legit Businessman.

    Like Drew did.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:54 No.17403005

    See if you can take your own head off.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:54 No.17403008

    We need to get our priorities in order, and I guess they are the following:

    1. Get out of the dungeon.
    2. Find our old body.
    3. Rendezvous with Ysolda.
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)14:55 No.17403016
    Shoving the letter in a pocket in your robe you focus on what spells you have.

    Deciding to take fate into your own hands you attempt to conjure a daedric tophat.

    Roll 1-20 for Conjuration check,
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:56 No.17403031
    Hug Skeleton Jelly. Romantically.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:56 No.17403033
    Its not as if we want to summon a slutty fire atronarch by accident or anything...
    >> dice+1d20 Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:57 No.17403034
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:59 No.17403051
    rolled 18 = 18

    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:59 No.17403055
    rolled 19 = 19

    rolling. its not like I want to summon cuthulu from his oblivion lair
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)14:59 No.17403057

    We are going to be one classy undead abomination.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:00 No.17403063
    rolled 9 = 9

    Re-rollan. I are tarded
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)15:06 No.17403123
    Focusing on summoning your tophat you pour all your will into the spell. You drag it closer to you until...

    Resting on a golden pedestal before you on a silver plate is the most glorious tophat to have ever existed in this reality. Gently lifting the plate up, Skeleton Jelly brings it over to you.

    Mere words cannot describe this creation. Placing it on you head, you smooth a few of the hairs that remain on your head to the sides or your mask. All in all you cut a gloriously dashing figure.

    You have gained new effects and powers. Occasionally while in battle your hat will shoot lightning bolts and flames at your enemies. It also has a very rare chance to summon a Daedra lord to do your bidding for a time.

    Being an object of daedric origin you may also consult your hat for advice, though it is doubtful it will answer.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:07 No.17403130
    rolled 8 = 8

    Summon matching suit?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:07 No.17403136
    We need a weapon. We should summon a bound cane!
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:09 No.17403150
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:09 No.17403154

    But we already have a staff and a sword... Oh, I know! We can merge them into a cane and a cane sword.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:10 No.17403160
    rolled 5 = 5

    le sigh
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:10 No.17403163

    Try summoning a monocle!
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:11 No.17403167
    rolled 2 = 2

    I like this. We shall be a truly elegant gentleman. Like Watson.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:12 No.17403183
    rolled 8 = 8

    These. Maybe a suit with arrow collars, maybe some white spats. We are going to be the classiest motherfucker in mundus. Also, we're going to need a matching outfit for Skeleton Jelly, our humble manservant,
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:16 No.17403224
    So wait.

    Are we becoming the Dragonpriest version of Ciaphas Cain? With Skeleton Jelly as our Jurgen?

    I could grow to love this quest.

    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)15:17 No.17403230
    Deciding to go the extra mile you conjure up a tuxedo, a monocle.

    Your efforts are not in vain as lady luck seems to be saving you from summoning a eldritch horror.

    One of the eye slits in your mask seems to be perfectly shaped to receive the monocle. You put on the suit over your armor. All in all you now look like a rather classy undead gentlemen with some deadly tricks up his sleeve .
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:17 No.17403231
    rolled 3 = 3


    Well, then, so will I roll.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:18 No.17403243

    Oh yes, we sure are dressed to the nines right now.

    Anyway, that's enough of this foolishness. Let's get out of here.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:19 No.17403250
    rolled 17 = 17

    Okay, well since we're no outfitted, how about we just try to get out of the dungeon?
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)15:22 No.17403288
    Enough of this madness! You may be the classiest motherfucker in this worlds but nobody can worship your glory if you are stuck in a crypt.

    Shouting to skeleton jelly to keep up with you, you race down a passageway till you come to a intersection.

    To your left you see a slight gleam of light, possibly from the opening of a cave entrance to the outside.

    To your right is a passage leading higher up but into darkness.

    Where do you go?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:24 No.17403306

    Right. We should clear this place out before we move on, see if there's anything interesting stashed away.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:24 No.17403307
    rolled 15 = 15

    Hmmm...towards the gleam. It's either an artifact, a trap, or an exit. 2/3 is good enough for me.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:24 No.17403314
    rolled 14 = 14


    Examine the tunnel to the right first, we might have forgotten some good loot in there.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:24 No.17403320

    Poke the wall and activate the conveniently hidden servant's entrance that takes us directly to the front door.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:25 No.17403323
         File1325535910.jpg-(15 KB, 200x299, Making_Money_Lipwig.jpg)
    15 KB
    rolled 7 = 7

    Into the light. Once we get into the outside world we should Go Postal, then maybe start Making Money
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)15:27 No.17403345
    Deciding to go to the right you head up a rickety circular stairway and emerge into a well lit room. Ahead of you is a golden gate unlike any you have ever seen before. Behind it is a stone chest with some gears linked to a mechanism for opening it.

    Do you attempt to open it, get skeleton jelly to open it or ask your tophat for advice?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:29 No.17403352

    Ask Tophat for advice, of course!
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:29 No.17403355

    Such menial labour is beneath a gentleman of our class. Send Jelly to open it.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:31 No.17403373
    I....kinda want to see our guy become a bard and sing The Rolling Stones at various taverns with a skeleton band....but that is just me..
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:37 No.17403409

    Time is on my side?
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)15:39 No.17403421
    Decrying such tasks as beneath you, you decide to send Skeleton Jelly to open it. Watching, you see him touch the gate. Making no attempt to pick the master lock, he instead preforms some unknowable spell that causes the gate to crumble into dust.

    Jelly moves further into the room and opens the chest. From it he lifts out something that looks suspiciously like the possible elder scroll that you have.

    Skeleton Jellys pauses after picking the object up and opens it up to examine whatever is written inside. Watching, you see his jelly eyes open wide as he sees whatever is written down. After several second he nods and passes the scroll to you. You look upon it....

    ...And pass out as you see what seems to be god and infinity at the same time.

    Some time later you wake up, you vision still slightly skewed with a massive headache and Skeleton Jelly standing guard over you.

    You have discovered a new ability in your companion! Skeleton Jelly has the ability to somehow read a elder scroll without being stricken blind or insane...er. The only problem is that Skeleton Jellys seems unable to speak and tell anything other than "Skeleton Jelly"
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)15:41 No.17403439
    Standing up you look around the treasure room. It seems the scroll was the only thing of value in here. You notice a ladder leading to a hatch in the ceiling. Do you climb the ladder or go back to the cave exit?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:43 No.17403458
    Up the ladder
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:44 No.17403468

    Float up to the hatch and see what is on the other side of it, if it isn't locked. If it is, return to the possible cave-exit, though it might just be a giant room with an opening at the top which is too high for you to reach.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:45 No.17403485
    rolled 10 = 10

    how dapper does skeleton jelly look?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:47 No.17403498

    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)15:48 No.17403504
    Climbing up with Jelly taking the rear you finally feel fresh air.

    Hoisting yourself up you find yourself on at the top of a keep overlooking a small ruin. It seems whatever fort or temple this place once was has now been destroyed by years of neglect.

    Looking further you see that you the ruin is located at the top a mountain, the tallest in a chain of them heading west and east. To the south you see a vast desert. To the north there seems to be more temperate and moist climates. There is a massive stairway leading down the mountain in both directions.

    Which way?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:49 No.17403513

    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:50 No.17403530

    Let's go to the north. The desert would dry up our manservant, Skeleton Jelly.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:51 No.17403535

    Why? at some point you will hit a mountain pass, with people.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:51 No.17403536

    Follow the arrow on the mini-map.

    ...Okay fine, I vote the Desert!
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)15:54 No.17403554
    You decide to head north to the more temperate zone. Eventually you reach the bottom. Your ability to float prevents you from falling down the mountain several times along the way.

    To one side there is a deep forest that seems to go quite far. On the other side is a rocky craggy terrain covered with bushes.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:55 No.17403565

    Hmm....to Whiterun...or to seduce Spriggans?

    This is actually the most difficult situation I have ever found myself in.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:55 No.17403569

    Head into the forest, it's sure to contain more interesting things than the rocky plain.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:56 No.17403574
    >South - Desert
    >North - Moist, temperate

    Me thinks we are on the border between Cyrodiil and Elsweyr.

    South! To Khaajiit land!
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)15:58 No.17403585
    You and Skeleton Jelly are less than ten feet into the forest before you hear a lady screaming loudly. A few seconds later said lady runs into you and promptly crashes to the ground.

    "Help, you need to help me! Don't let them capture me!"

    Something is quickly coming through the trees toward you three.

    What do you do?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:59 No.17403588
    Send Skeleton Jelly to Nord Primary School.

    If they can teach Nord kids how to speak Imperial, they can teach Skeleton Jelly how to talk.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:59 No.17403589
    spriggens. Dont know what they are, but I like the name.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)15:59 No.17403592
         File1325537991.jpg-(147 KB, 463x700, whatdoiwin.jpg)
    147 KB
    Sorry to interrupt - I saw the picture and just had to post the finished puzzle.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:01 No.17403609
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:03 No.17403627

    Brandish your ebony sword and yell: "Halt, foul interloper! Who are you to hunt down a lady?"
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:03 No.17403628
    rolled 4 = 4

    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:04 No.17403631

    Take cover, let's see what we're up against before we decide to fight or flee.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:04 No.17403635
    Ask Skeleton for advice.
    >> Autonomous 01/02/12(Mon)16:06 No.17403656
    rolled 4 = 4

    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:07 No.17403661
    If Akatosh created us we must be Dragonborn. Just saiyan'.
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)16:10 No.17403686
    With an iron will you turn toward whatever is coming toward you and prepare for a fight.

    The bush in front of you rustles and out comes....

    ...A dwermer sphere. But this is like no creation of the dwermer you have ever seen before. It looks utterly...corrupted. Where there usually would be a sword at the end of its arm has now been replaced by a evil looking set of whips. Electricity crackles down them as the pass along the ground. The crossbow on the other arm seems to have been modified to shoot nets.

    You also cannot help but notice the Large Decorative Dwermer Lever, weight 5, value 10 sticking out from between its legs.

    All in all the thing seems to have been twisted into a machine that exists to pillage, torture, rape, murder and kill everything it comes across, possibly at the same time.


    -Pull out the ebony sword you have while shouting "En Garde you plebeian!"
    -Prepare to shoot a fireball at the thing
    -Team up with skeleton jelly to destroy this thing.
    -Beg your hat to save you
    -Let the corrupted machine defile the young lady passed out behind you,
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:11 No.17403693
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:12 No.17403698

    >-Team up with skeleton jelly to destroy this thing.
    >-Prepare to shoot a fireball at the thing


    >Jolly co-operation!
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:12 No.17403701

    The first one.

    We are a Gentleman after all.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:12 No.17403703
    >-Pull out the ebony sword you have while shouting "En Garde you plebeian!"
    >-Prepare to shoot a fireball at the thing
    >-Team up with skeleton jelly to destroy this thing.

    Do all, of course.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:12 No.17403705
    rolled 1, 6 = 7

    Well I kinda want to watch -


    >> Autonomous 01/02/12(Mon)16:12 No.17403706
    rolled 20 = 20


    >-Team up with skeleton jelly to destroy this thing.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:13 No.17403713
         File1325538801.jpg-(338 KB, 758x1100, BusinessBots.jpg)
    338 KB

    Is it sexy?
    If not then burn away.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:19 No.17403764
    Pulling out your sword you and Jelly explode into action.

    Jelly circles around the machine while you run up a tree nearby you while simultaneously doing a backflip. You fly through the air over the Corrupter Spheres head to where Jelly is waiting.

    At the precise moment jelly catches you, swings you around and throws you at the back of the shocked sphere while losing none of the momentum. While flying through the air you pull out your swords and stab forward with it.

    At the precise moment when the sword hit the sphere your hat shoots a gout of lightning at the centurion, blasting it through several trees.

    Before it dies you can swear it looked almost gleeful at seeing such a display of awesome.

    You are standing in a forest. Nearby is the passes out lady and across from several trees is the busted corrupted dwermer sphere.

    What do you do first?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:21 No.17403776
    Loot the sphere, of course.
    >> Autonomous 01/02/12(Mon)16:21 No.17403779
    rolled 15 = 15


    not sure if alduin
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:21 No.17403782

    Frisk corpse, see what you can find.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:22 No.17403786

    Loot the sphere, and then go to the lady to see if she is alright.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:23 No.17403800

    This is now what our suit looks like.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:24 No.17403810

    If we have any drawing materials, doodle on her face.
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)16:26 No.17403824
    Yup its me. Incorrect capcha stole the trip.
    You walk to the sphere to inspect it more closely. As you peer at it the differences become more obvious. Aside from the aftermentioned weapons changes and rape tool the sphere is covered in sigils and markings that seems to twist and glow with a unusual light. One thing in particular grabs your attention, a small square mechanical object that glows softly. Pulling it out of the machine you are startled when the rest of the sphere crumbles into ash.

    The lady you rescued is moaning softly as she wakes up.

    What now?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:27 No.17403838

    "You are safe now! Saved by... Tophatman and Jellyboy!"

    Then fly away.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:28 No.17403840

    Try feeding her to Skeleton Jelly. He deserves a treat for that.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:28 No.17403843
    Group hug with the lady you and skeleton jelly
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:29 No.17403853

    Go to her, bow, introduce yourself and Skeleton Jelly, and then ask her who she is, where we are and what that thing was.
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)16:30 No.17403870
    Speaking to Skeleton Jelly, you attempt to convince him to eat the young maiden. Despite your best efforts skeleton jelly refuses. If he eats anything you think it would be liquids.

    The lady is now sitting up and rubbing her head.
    >> Autonomous 01/02/12(Mon)16:30 No.17403872
    rolled 5 = 5


    i vote this
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:31 No.17403894
    rolled 9 = 9


    DO we have Restoratiion magic? If so lets heal her!

    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:32 No.17403896
    "Bring me to the nearest town, fair maiden!"
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:32 No.17403897

    I agree with this guy right here, fuck the one on the left's head has the same basic structure of our mask, and a hole PERFECT for Tophat'd goodness!
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)16:33 No.17403901
    Walking over to her you can see the fright on her face. Understandable considering you are a dead dragon priest and Skeleton Jelly is Jelly and Skeleton.

    Nonetheless, you are still a gentleman. Bowing to her you politely introduce yourself as a nameless wandering adventurer, having a grand adventure with your servant Skeleton Jelly.

    Or at least this is what you hope to achieve.

    Roll 1-20 for speech.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:33 No.17403904
    rolled 11 = 11

    guess restoration is not our forte
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:34 No.17403907
    rolled 3 = 3

    Rolling for her not to freak out
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:34 No.17403908
    rolled 13 = 13


    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:34 No.17403912

    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:36 No.17403922

    He rolled first! Pick him!
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:36 No.17403925

    Least it isn't a 1
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:36 No.17403926

    Roll for tripping her up when she tries to flee. Her information is needed.
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)16:37 No.17403942
    You try and politely introduce yourself yet all that comes out is a earsplitting croak. Your vocal cords must have seized up somehow. Punching yourself in the throat, you sputter and realize you can now talk.

    Looking at the maiden you realize she has passed out in a dead faint. You feel some loose string from your robes fall to the ground.

    What do you do?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:38 No.17403953
    Investigate the string!
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:38 No.17403955

    >You feel some loose string from your robes fall to the ground.

    Retrieve my most precious spaghetti.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:38 No.17403956

    Well, we can't just leave her there. Let's have Jelly pick her up and we can get some answers when she wakes up next time.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:40 No.17403973

    Let's put the Elder Scroll on her face so it's the first thing she'll see when she wakes up!
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:40 No.17403977
         File1325540415.gif-(2.9 MB, 290x189, 1324502741023.gif)
    2.9 MB
    > You feel some loose string from your robes fall to the ground.
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)16:40 No.17403979
    You look closer at the string. There seems to be nothing of note other than its resemblance to some types of pasta.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:40 No.17403984
    rolled 11 = 11


    It seems like we can't do anything until she awakens. Let us make a camp and send Skeleton Jelly out to get some sticks to make a campfire, and try conjure a bucket for him to use to get some water with.

    (rolling for conjuration)
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:41 No.17403990

    Seconding this, should be fun.
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)16:42 No.17404002
    You decide that in spite of it having no remarkable properties whatsoever it must be a lucky string. Picking it up you put it back in a pocket in your robe from whence it came.

    1 string of eternal shame added to inventory.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:43 No.17404011
    Write a note to give to the girl in case your vocal chords seize up again, then wait for here to wake up.
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)16:49 No.17404068
    Deciding it would be a fun thing to do to someone who slighted you in such a way you carefully unroll the elder scroll and place it on her face.

    You hear her waking up. At the precise moment when she opens her eyes you can see her entire body tense up. The maiden emits a shriek so loud it leaves your head ringing and then collapses. Shrouding the elder scroll first, you take a look at what is left of the maiden. She seems be be in a functioning catonic state. Whatever she once was there is surely nobody home anymore. Searching her you find a small tattered letter addressed to her. It seems her name is Lydia,

    You have gained a new companion! Lydia is incapable of fighting or carrying out any complex orders due to the brain damage inflicted by the elder scroll. She is utterly obedient to you and and will carry out any orders, provided they are simple enough and do anything for you.

    Anything at all.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:51 No.17404092

    Score! Now then, let's move on. Head off in the direction that monster came from.
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)16:51 No.17404098
    Recovering a map lydia had on her person you see there are some places of interest nearby.

    To the east there is a place called Elemental Cave. To the west is the deeper areas of the forest. Or you can go back the way you came.

    Where do the 3 of you go?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:52 No.17404105

    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)16:53 No.17404114
    Gentlemen I am going on a short break.

    I will probably be back in an hour of so.

    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:53 No.17404120

    The Elemental Cave sounds suitably mysterious and adventure-laden. Tally ho!
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:57 No.17404168
    Elder scroll has the ability to brainwash people...
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)16:58 No.17404176
    Godspeed Alduin,
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)17:00 No.17404200
    Well gentlemen it turns out that I don't actually have to be gone.

    Lets us resume! And sorry for the false info
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)17:01 No.17404210
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)17:01 No.17404216

    Are we being controlled by Jelly?
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)17:02 No.17404232
    Heading to the Elemental Cave sounds like a good idea. You may even be able to get some information if there is any.

    You, Lydia and Skeleton Jelly set off to discover what is located there.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)17:06 No.17404258
    rolled 3 = 3

    rollan for ADVENTURE and EXCITEMENT, with our stalwart manservant Skeleton Jelly!
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)17:11 No.17404305
    Turning a corner in the woods you find the entrance to the Elemental Cave. What you were not expecting was the large dragon perched on the rocky ledge above the door. Immediately you prepare to cast a spell, Jelly prepares to help and Lydia stands there drooling.

    "Whoa! Chill the fuck down kiddo!" says the dragon. "I'm just the bouncer here!"

    "Bouncer"?" you ask.
    "Yeah, for the club."

    Upon asking further question you discover that the Elemental Cave is actually a strip bar where a variety of miscreants, abominations and evil people conspiring to destroy the universe go to get drunk.

    Before you enter you must pay something to the bouncer however.

    You pay
    -A IOU. Surely you will be able to pay later.
    -Your staff. Who needs a staff?
    -Lydia. It's not as if she would mind whatever that dragon did with her, being a drooling puppet now and all.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)17:12 No.17404310
    rolled 5, 3 = 8

    We are a gentleman of honor.

    Good luck with the dragon, Lydia.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)17:13 No.17404311
    The ring we have.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)17:13 No.17404321
    Give Lydia. It's not like it's a she anymore.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)17:14 No.17404326

    Leave a lady with that foul creature? Never! We'd have to carry our own stuff.

    See if he'll take an IOU.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)17:15 No.17404337

    The String of Eternal LUCK!
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)17:22 No.17404390
    "Don't worry, you will get her back when you leave the club" says the dragon with a lewd twinge to its voice.
    "Lydia stay with that dragon and do whatever it wants".
    She gives you a dopey nod.

    With that you head through the doors and into...
    Incredible. You are in a huge room. in one corner is tucked a massive dance floor, only taking up a small amount of the space. Along the far wall is a stage where several Flame Atronarchs are and a Spriggan are dancing on strip poles. Along another wall is the largest bar counter you have ever seen. With the most drinks you ever will see.
    Finally, to your right is a number of tables and several doors leading deeper in. Around you and Skeleton Jelly hums all manners of brigands, evildoers, world destroyers, gods of death and creatures you have never seen.

    If you are to ever get answers, this is the place.
    You see:

    -Sheogarth, the daedric prince of madness speaking to something that looks alarmingly like a Slashneeshi Keeper of secrets.
    -The bartender. The bartender always knows everything.
    -The shadowy dark brotherhood member sitting at the table
    -The attractive Spriggan leaning against a wall next to you.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)17:24 No.17404402

    Let's go chat to the bartender and find out who's likely to know what's going on.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)17:24 No.17404403
    Tell the spriggan to "b-back that ass up"
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)17:25 No.17404404
         File1325543101.jpg-(46 KB, 430x538, 1238933732845.jpg)
    46 KB
    >skeleton jelly
    >pieces of string falling from robes
    >a useless companion named Lydia
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)17:25 No.17404410
    After that, however, try to strike up conversation with Sheogorath or the Spriggan.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)17:26 No.17404418
    bartender for rumors
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)17:26 No.17404424
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)17:28 No.17404440
         File1325543308.jpg-(15 KB, 470x368, brofist_Leaving_Sharenator_s47(...).jpg)
    15 KB
    I really enjoy the story OP. Good job.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)17:29 No.17404451
    Ask Oblivion Guy whatever happened to Jyggalag after he set him free.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)17:30 No.17404460

    Talk to the Spriggon. She seems the least dangerous. Also clear your throat.

    "Hello pretty tree lady thing! Wanna go on an adventure with me, Jelly and the chick back there with the dragon? With you it'll be a foursome!"
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)17:30 No.17404463
    >Hide in a coffin
    >Kill all who approach
    >Hide in a coffin
    >Wear a fancy mask

    I am the best dragon priest
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)17:31 No.17404468
    Clearly you need a drink. And information. Skeleton Jelly is looking a little dry too.

    Walking over to the bar, you squeeze past a wizard who is casting different colored fireballs in time to the lights and sit next to a frost atronarch.

    "What can I get ya"?
    "Brandy and information".
    The brandy suddenly appears before you faster than you can say "Magnets".
    "As for information, I don't have any."
    "Well can I get a drink for my companion? He is a bit dry"
    You take your brandy and leave Skeleton Jelly to soak up some drink at the bar.
    You go to:
    -Sheogarth, the daedric prince of madness speaking to something that looks alarmingly like a Slashneeshi Keeper of secrets.
    -The necromancer sitting at a table behind the dance floor.
    -The shadowy dark brotherhood member sitting at the table
    -The attractive Spriggan leaning against a wall next to you.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)17:33 No.17404486
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)17:33 No.17404488
    Thats me by the way.

    Imma be gone for about half an hour guys.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)17:33 No.17404492
    Approach Sheogorath and try to listen in if possible.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)17:35 No.17404507

    Go to the necromancer and say "Silly Necromancer! Don't hit on me! :3"

    >Acute-phase tifersp

    This is a cute phase I'm going through, captcha.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)17:37 No.17404545
    Go chill with the necromancer
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)18:03 No.17404834
    Say to him "No, I am skeleton jelly"
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)18:24 No.17405075
    Op back soon?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)18:43 No.17405286
    I think this may be a dead quest, mate.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:01 No.17405563
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)19:05 No.17405613
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:06 No.17405636
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:07 No.17405649
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)19:08 No.17405663
    You slip past Sheogarth and head over to the necromancer. You can see now that he is in fact a she. Those robes, the perfect disguise.

    "Silly Necromancer! Don't hit on me! :3".

    Roll 1-20 for speech check.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:09 No.17405680
    rolled 16 = 16

    More string for the string throne!
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:11 No.17405718
         File1325549493.jpg-(436 KB, 1864x3263, 1320886041736.jpg)
    436 KB

    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:11 No.17405722
    rolled 12 = 12

    Is Lydia still outside fucking the dragon?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:12 No.17405727
    rolled 14 = 14

    Yo boys
    I am sing song
    String song
    Flop song
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:14 No.17405759

    What makes you think they're fucking? You dirty minded rapscallion!
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:14 No.17405767
         File1325549695.jpg-(544 KB, 586x980, 1324705197184.jpg)
    544 KB
    Wait, does this mean she doesn't hit on us because we were successful in our speech check, or does she hit on us because that's what we wanted all along?
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)19:15 No.17405772
    rolled 13 = 13


    The necromancer smiles and gestures you over.

    "Well ain't you the cutest undead thing I have ever seen! Let me get you a drink and we can go up to my room to talk things over!"

    You have no idea what the fuck is going on but this lady may be able to help you out.
    Do you:

    -Go with her
    -Politely refuse
    -Attend to Skeleton Jelly. He looks like he is getting to be drunk jelly.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:16 No.17405791
    Have to check if our dick is dust or not. Go with her.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:17 No.17405802
    It's been, what? thousands of years without feeling the touch of a woman. Of course I go with her!
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:18 No.17405816
    Skeleton jelly.
    Bros before ho's
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:19 No.17405833
         File1325549948.png-(251 KB, 544x649, Tsukiko.png)
    251 KB
    I think I know who this is
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:19 No.17405839

    >Go with her.

    Light hearted romance! Yeah!
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:20 No.17405860

    Skeljelly! Come follow me for some fun!

    >Go with her
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:20 No.17405861
    You have all forgoten your bro.
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)19:21 No.17405874
    What the hell, even if you don't get any information from this necromage at least you might get your little dragon fed.

    The both of you move through the teeming mass of people, creatures and gods toward one of the doors that leads deeper into the cave/nightclub. Eventually you reach the room.

    The place is homey to you at the least, considering your kind usually spend their lives sleeping in coffins. A large bed occupies one corner of the room. One wall is dominated by a hearth. Instead of flames insider there is what appears to be a small portal to the realm of oblivion.

    "So now....where were we?" You say.

    Roll for seduction check.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:22 No.17405892
    He's probably thousands of years old, he can handle his booze

    Oh well, fuck it. If >>17405833 is right, we can have a threesome, I guess.
    Ask her if she likes jelly.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:22 No.17405897
    rolled 12 = 12

    Lets be a sauve gentleman.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:25 No.17405928
    rolled 1 = 1

    "I do believe I was politely asking you not to hit on me, madame.
    Though I will happily rectify that statement"
    Then laugh a little and take a sip of brandy, exclaiming: "Jolly good"
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:26 No.17405940
         File1325550388.jpg-(567 KB, 1337x1626, 1306109172034.jpg)
    567 KB
    >little dragon fed.

    Cutest euphemism!
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:26 No.17405944
    rolled 14 = 14


    Cockblock to the max
    That'll probably just come out as "b-back that conversation up"
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:33 No.17406034
         File1325550839.jpg-(150 KB, 466x518, 1305556656722.jpg)
    150 KB
    rolled 15 = 15

    "Madam, I can only say that -"


    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:34 No.17406037
    I thought Azura was female?
    I distinctly remember tits
    I don't see how this changes anything, if anything, it'll make her a better prey, a better lay, and more fun to lay in the hay with.
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)19:34 No.17406038
    Somehow whilst trying to say that you simultaneously burped and tripped over a flea.

    You land crashing onto the table in front of the necromancer, your robes covered in drink and strands of cloth spilling everywhere and falling into her lap.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:35 No.17406047
    but... we had a twelve in the post right before that one...
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:36 No.17406068
    rolled 17 = 17

    Yay, more string!
    Offer her some string
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)19:37 No.17406074
    You distinctly feels as if some malign force has pulled you from a realm of possibility and changed the very fabric of reality to screw you over.

    Blushing as much as you can, you gather up the strands of cloth and push away into the crowd. That may not have worked but there are still others!

    -Sheogarth, the daedric prince of madness speaking to something that looks alarmingly like a Slashneeshi Keeper of secrets.
    -The strip dancing fire atronarch sipping some brandy.
    -The shadowy dark brotherhood member sitting at the table
    -The attractive Spriggan leaning against a wall next to you.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:37 No.17406078
    rolled 6 = 6

    mm necro
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:37 No.17406082
    rolled 18 = 18


    She still thinks we're cute, we need to abuse this!

    "I... made a mess... I'm sorry, I'm useless... ;_;"

    >> Alpharius 01/02/12(Mon)19:38 No.17406096
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:38 No.17406100
    Are you kidding me? WE HAVE TO FUCK A DAEDRIC PRINCESS
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)19:39 No.17406114
    Your determination to power through and right your wrong pushes through everything else.

    Walking back to the necromancers table you sit down and apologize, making a fairly good excuse about a curse that makes you trip everywhere at the worst moments.

    She may or may not believe it but at least she is smiling.
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)19:42 No.17406149
    Deciding to take the initiative you boldly ask her if she would like to go and talk in private.

    She smiles, says yes and asks if its ok that she invites some friends.

    Do you:

    -Invite Skeleton Jelly as well
    -Go to contend with this creature and her friends by yourself.
    >> Alpharius 01/02/12(Mon)19:42 No.17406150
    rolled 18 = 18

    Make pleasant small-talk about corpses. Necromancers love that kinda shit.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:43 No.17406164
    Invite Skeleton Jelly
    Brag that he can read Elder Scrolls, then get him to read his mad Jelly Poetry
    Call him MC SJ
    Bitches love poetry
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:44 No.17406187

    Invite Skeljelly and play some Dwemer Temples and Dovahkin. Skeljelly is the Dwemer Master.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:47 No.17406225
    Bring up a wwhale
    bitches love wwhales
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)19:47 No.17406226
    "Only if I can bring one of my friends as well. You will like him. His name is Skeleton Jelly. Pretty cool guy, reads elder scrolls and aint afraid of anything."

    She agrees but only under one condition: You give her whatever she wants.

    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:47 No.17406227
    Invite SJ.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:47 No.17406240
    Lie and say yes. If whatever she wants is acceptable we can still give it to her.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:48 No.17406249

    I accept! She's a master of the undead and I'm a zombie. What could go wrong?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:50 No.17406279
    We'll give it WHEREVER she wants, though
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)19:52 No.17406296
    You smile and say yes. The trio of you pushes your way through the crowd and make your way to the room.

    You experience a moment of deja vu. At the left of the room, a small portal where there should be a mantle activates and out come a Flame atronarch, a spriggan and a strange floating ball that looks like a sigil stone.

    "Now that we are all here..."

    What do you do?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:52 No.17406311
    Bow and say hello to the lovely ladies
    >> Alpharius 01/02/12(Mon)19:53 No.17406324
    rolled 2 = 2

    Put the goddamn charm on. We've been around the block a couple a thousand times, and this is no different.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:56 No.17406360

    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)19:57 No.17406379
    A gentleman as always, you greet each of the ladies in turn. Skeleton Jelly does his best to bow and wave at them. You notice the Flame atronarch turn and whisper something to the spriggan, making them both giggle.

    "Don't mind them, they just want to have fun...I just want to have fun." Azura whispers to you.

    Skeleton jelly seems thoroughly interested in the floating stone.
    Do you:
    -Whisper back to Azura how you want to make fierce passionate undead love to her?
    -Go to the Flame Atronarch. She looks spicy.
    -Occupy yourself with the Spriggan. She looks rather earthy.
    -Steal the floating sigil stone.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:58 No.17406397
    Trip into the portal.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)19:59 No.17406402
    "Why, my good Azura, you will find that I am positively a fount of... fun
    Despite it being a mere buzzword, I do believe I've got a way to... make it *buzz*"
    >> Alpharius 01/02/12(Mon)19:59 No.17406408
    Go for the Spriggan. Least likely to set you on fire or curse you unto a thousand generations.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:00 No.17406415
    Fuck this, steal the sigil stone. WE MUST CONTINUE OUR QUEST. Also find out what was causing the dwermer devices to be corrupted.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:00 No.17406416
    Tell her that fun is a buzzword.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:01 No.17406434
    rolled 16 = 16


    We clearly aren't good at flirting so we should keep being adorable.

    >Whisper to Azura if we could cuddle and stuff.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:03 No.17406449
    Well not you will find me to be full of a buzzilion fun things to do!

    She smiles and moves close to you whispering softly.

    Suddenly your spidey senses start tingling.

    Roll 1-20 for perception.
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)20:04 No.17406464
    Pfft. Capcha ate my name
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:05 No.17406469
    rolled 13 = 13


    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:05 No.17406470
    rolled 18 = 18

    We left our Elder Scroll with Lydia
    I thought we made that obvious
    >> Alpharius 01/02/12(Mon)20:05 No.17406472
    rolled 15 = 15

    There's no way this could possibly go wrong.
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)20:09 No.17406519
    Something is very wrong here. Out of the corner of your eye you see the flame atronarch moving close to you with a flaming dagger. The spriggan seems to be readying a spell.

    What do you do?
    -Draw your sword and fight like a man!
    -Cast a ward on yourself. YOU IS MAGICIAN!
    -Grab for the sigil stone Jelly is so interested in. Something is clearly tied to it.
    -Fus Do Rah the fuck out of the two elementals and Azura
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:10 No.17406529
    rolled 13 = 13

    Fus Ro Dah sucks
    WULD at the Sigil and snatch it like it's a motherfucking golden snitch, steal Azura's top before we go (so she'll be completely ashamed and unable to cast anything) then run the fuck out
    >> Alpharius 01/02/12(Mon)20:11 No.17406535
    Fus Roh Dah the fuck outta everyone and sprint for the Sigil Stone. Fus Roh Dah is so absurdly overpowered it's not even funny, and magic resistance is meaningless.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:12 No.17406546
    rolled 16 = 16

    It's obviously just a kinky fetish.
    I say we raise an eyebrow and go all french on her
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:12 No.17406555
    Start shitting all over the place and eat Skeletonjelly.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:13 No.17406557
    rolled 10 = 10


    Have an emotional break down as the light hearted romance is ruined. Fight wildly while screaming "I thought you loved me!"
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:13 No.17406559
         File1325553237.jpg-(26 KB, 378x363, circle385.jpg)
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    This is great.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:15 No.17406574
    rolled 5 = 5

    Fus roh dah sucks dicks
    Then again, the entire combat system of Skyrim sucks dicks. It's saddening how easy it is, and how imbalanced it is. Being a glass cannon as a giant two-hand weapon-wielding berserker should be true, yes, but not to this degree!
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)20:16 No.17406580
    Moving fast you rip off Azuras shirt. And pause along with everyone else to gape for a moment at her glorious assets. Blood rushes to Azuras face all at once. She looks quite shocked.

    Turning you grab Jelly by one gooey arm and snatch the Stone with another. With a groan the room quakes and beings to shake. You realize with a shock that you must be on one of the planes of oblivions.

    As the room decends into fire you hear Azura shout out "I will get you for this Priest! Sent by Alduin or no you will pay!"

    With a sudden jolt the room vanishes,,,
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:17 No.17406597
    rolled 16 = 16


    Equip Azura's shirt.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:18 No.17406603
    Do we have a cigar to puff in satisfaction? If not, make a mental note to find one.
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)20:19 No.17406612
    ...And the entrance to the cave that house the nightclub appears as you crash to the ground in front of the door.

    The dragon guarding the cave is nowhere to be found and seems to have taken Lydia with him.

    What do you do?
    -I must seek this dragon and Lydia out!
    -Forget them, I only need me and the Skeleton Jelly!
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:20 No.17406632
    rolled 13 = 13

    We need to find Lydia.
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)20:21 No.17406641
    You search the pockets of your robes. Rooting through all the strings in there you finally find, much to your surprise, a cigar. Lighting it up, you take a puff or too of it. Not bad, you just defied a daedric princess.

    But back to the task at hand...
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:22 No.17406650
    Make a further mental note to reenact The Lusty Daedric Goddess some day.
    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)20:27 No.17406690
    With a sudden crash the dragon lands in front of you.
    For one tense moment you are about to blast it all the way to the summerset isles but then it laughs.

    "Here is you little meatpuppet back, Dragon Priest. She was fun." With that the Dragon Bouncer leaps into the air and takes off.

    You see to your left that before he left the dragon dumped Lydia in a sticky heap. You quickly check her vital signs and find she is quite stable, but in the same condition as before. Meaning she remain a mostly useless obedient mule. You notice that she seems to be covered in some sort of slimy purple fluid.

    What do you do?

    -Grab Lydia and Jelly and head back into the forest
    -Circle around the rocky craig that cave/nightclub was embedded in
    -Taste the purple fluid
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:30 No.17406731
    rolled 4 = 4

    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:30 No.17406734

    Aww sweet! Jam!
    >I taste a bit, is it delicious or is it delicious?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:31 No.17406747
    Grab Lydia.

    We need to figure out a way to enchant her to gain a semblance of life back, independence, intelligence, creativity too... Maybe a Daedric artifact implanted withing her, that posses her?
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:33 No.17406761
    rolled 17 = 17

    >> Alduin !!Yn8CDUI7fu4 01/02/12(Mon)20:36 No.17406789
    You decide to give most of the sticky purple stuff to Skeleton Jelly but leave a bit for you. Putting a strand of the stuff in your mouth you are startled to feel some sort of magic in it working through you...

    Looking over at Skeleton Jelly you are shocked. He has changed. Whereas before he was a pasty grey color he is not a bright purple. After talking to him and asking him how he feels you realize that his personality has changed somewhat also. He seems more...Corrupt. There is no better word for it.

    And with that gentlemen, I must say goodnight.

    I may continue this thread in a few days or so. i hope you enjoyed it.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:38 No.17406797
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:38 No.17406801
    We... We've corrupted Skeleton Jelly?
    Quickly, commit sudoku in shame.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:39 No.17406813
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:40 No.17406819
         File1325554851.jpg-(11 KB, 218x218, sudoku.jpg)
    11 KB
    >Quickly, commit sudoku in shame.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:41 No.17406836

    I don't know how.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:44 No.17406866
    Sorry if it's kinda shitty
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:45 No.17406872
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)20:47 No.17406895

    >> Jeb !!Ptc02ZkICDD 01/02/12(Mon)20:53 No.17406977
         File1325555611.jpg-(53 KB, 415x414, soduku fuck you.jpg)
    53 KB
    rolled 73, 44, 64 = 181

    >>17406819 like a boss.
    >> Anonymous 01/02/12(Mon)21:02 No.17407086
         File1325556125.jpg-(32 KB, 218x218, 1325554851999.jpg)
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    Aww, came in too late.
    >> Jeb !!Ptc02ZkICDD 01/02/12(Mon)21:12 No.17407181
    rolled 43, 41, 43 = 127

    >>17407086 Serves you right for doing it neat! 9 minutes of neat
    >> Anonymous 01/03/12(Tue)05:25 No.17410920
    >> Anonymous 01/03/12(Tue)11:50 No.17412835
         File1325609453.jpg-(10 KB, 268x262, 382.jpg)
    10 KB
    Buah! I need to know exactly when you will continue. Don't want to miss it :(

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