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  • File : 1325797977.jpg-(332 KB, 900x857, 1323435558990.jpg)
    332 KB Warhammer 40k: Heretical Love Part XIV Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)16:12 No.17434182  
    Alright, link to all previous threads, suptg links at bottom of the page: http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Heretical_Love

    Twitter to follow along, find out next thread date/time: HereticalLoveQ

    You let Mika finish up on the arm, and after one last test, its back in shape and you can feel the weapons suite back online.

    The techpriestess is quietly snoozing now, she must have been staying up late working on Rex.

    Being a gentleman, you carry her onto a bed and tuck her into it.

    With a kiss on her forehead, you turn and leave.

    The bike waits for you, now you just have to decide where to take it.

    [ ] Help the Tau girl find her brother.

    [ ] Give your axe-murderer a jingle.

    [ ] Mind bullet training with the tsunseer.

    [ ] Dinner date on a skiff with the Dark Eldar twins.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:14 No.17434194
    Axe-murderer, of course.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:14 No.17434195
    Yes! It's time!
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:15 No.17434201
    >[X] Give your axe-murderer a jingle.

    Part of me is doing this out of love, but the majority of me is doing this out of fear if I don't do this.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:16 No.17434210
         File1325798174.jpg-(67 KB, 800x800, 1231649879685.jpg)
    67 KB
    >[x] Help the Tau girl find her brother.


    >Also sorry for not getting the last story on 1d4chan, papa, had a lot of shit to do including starting my second job, I'll probably sort it out tomorrow night
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:16 No.17434213
    Eldar twins.
    We never got to hang with them much.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)16:18 No.17434223
    don't worry about it, my schedule has been hell. Still not finished with Esh's dialogue and I've got 20 credit hours worth of classes starting Monday.

    ...and a 33% Monmusu quest part 2 translation coming out tomorrow I believe.

    And I haven't even gotten through act 1 of KS yet...

    I need some way to slow down time!!!
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:18 No.17434226
    [X] Dinner date on a skiff with the Dark Eldar twins.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:18 No.17434228
    We have to visit the Axe-murderer, else she will visit us...with an axe. To the face. Way she says hello.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:20 No.17434243
    mind bullet training
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:20 No.17434250
         File1325798456.jpg-(41 KB, 400x281, 1324837049462.jpg)
    41 KB

    >...and a 33% Monmusu quest part 2 translation coming out tomorrow I believe.

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:25 No.17434286

    Would that really be so bad? I mean she killed us the first time and that just led to partying and sex.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:29 No.17434316
    Where are all the usual fa/tg/uys? HL threads usually tend to fill up in seconds
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)16:32 No.17434343
    My guess is playing KS.

    ...and none of you fuckers better ruin Emi's route I swear to fucking Khorne...
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:33 No.17434348
    [ ] Help the Tau girl find her brother.

    Because it's been quite a long time ago
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)16:33 No.17434349
    *spoil it for me, I mean
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:34 No.17434368
    [ ] Help the Tau girl find her brother.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:35 No.17434371
    >[X] Give your axe-murderer a jingle.

    need to thank her properly.
    might also be a good to get some mind training

    did Mika work on rex or did she... you know. 'work' on Rex.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:36 No.17434378
    This is heresy you know
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:36 No.17434386
         File1325799396.jpg-(38 KB, 441x604, VENI.jpg)
    38 KB
    >mfw this thread

    [ ] Help the Tau girl find her brother

    Been 11 threads since we last saw her
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:37 No.17434397
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:40 No.17434421
         File1325799626.jpg-(95 KB, 495x700, 1324840919504.jpg)
    95 KB

    You must be new here.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:41 No.17434433
    it doesn't stop from being heresy
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:43 No.17434445
    Well, if Esh's dialogue isn't finished yet, then I suppose we should go to that Blood Bowl game.
    [X] Give your axe-murderer a jingle.

    But we're going to see the Tsunseer after that. Don't want her to worry too much, after all.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:43 No.17434454
    A dinner right now sounds wonderful. On the other hand, no gentleman should let a girl wait as long as the Tau girl. My vote goes for the tau.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:44 No.17434458
         File1325799864.gif-(84 KB, 327x240, tumblr_ldelufl3Q71qdqkldo1_400.gif)
    84 KB
    [X] Give your axe-murderer a jingle.
    and im on time for once!
    also pick related
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:46 No.17434480
         File1325799979.gif-(976 KB, 300x300, 1313851484271.gif)
    976 KB
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)16:48 No.17434502
    The bike roars as you ramp it out of the exit, gunning the engine hard and catching some air.

    Rex barks and chases you, his antenna wagging. What a carefree baneblade…

    You activate your plasma gun as you speed toward a tree, and with one quick burst you fell it in a shower of splinters.

    It’s a good thing Mika could fix it up, as much as you miss your old fleshy arm, this one is admittedly more fun.

    Reaching into your pocket you grab out your communicator and select the frequency. You barely manage to avoid hitting a pile of rocks as you dial.


    “Sup blue tits.”

    “…Max uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu….” It sounds like she’s about to have a mental breakdown.

    “Is something wrong?” You bring the bike to a stop.

    “It’s my brother, I can’t find him anywhere and he’s not answering his communicator! I’m really worried about him!”

    “Don’t worry, I’m sure we will find him.” You try to calm Ailia down.

    “…Are you sure?”

    “I’m not just sure, I’m space aids positive, now where can I meet you at?”

    “Here, I’ll send you my location.”

    Your communicator buzzes as it receives the new information.

    “You aren’t really….”

    “Nah, I’m clean.”

    You gun the engine again, following the coordinates the Tau girl gave you.

    It’s about half an hour away, so you settle in for the ride, getting comfortable on the bike. You really hope you can find Ailia’s bro, it’s a bit worrisome that she hasn’t found him even after all this time.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:50 No.17434527
         File1325800230.jpg-(13 KB, 467x324, smile.jpg)
    13 KB
    >“I’m not just sure, I’m space aids positive,

    Second post in and Papa does it again. GG
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:54 No.17434560
    inb4 Ailia's brother is faptau
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:56 No.17434582
         File1325800581.jpg-(11 KB, 315x233, Faptau.jpg)
    11 KB

    I think I mentioned this in one of the other threads, this totally has to happen.

    >Mfw this whole thread
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:57 No.17434596

    >this whole thread

    I meant all these threads. I lose.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)16:57 No.17434605
    Do we really know that?
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)17:00 No.17434628
    With the Crisis suit now visible in the distance, you stow your communicator and speed through the last few minutes. As much fun as it will be to see Ailia again, you know it will be ruined if you don’t find her brother.

    A knot forms in your stomach.

    He has been missing a long time…

    You slow to a stop in front of the suit, Ailia is sitting on the hatch.

    Her usually cheerful face is downtrodden, and she looks like she hasn’t slept in days.

    “Hey, you alright?” You slide off the bike and give her hanging leg a friendly squeeze.

    “I don’t know…” She finally laments, rubbing her eyes tiredly.
    “Well, have you picked up any kind of trail?”

    “Not much. It’s like he’s disappeared from the face of the planet.” Ailia sighs and slips off of the hatch, falling rather clumsily to the ground.

    While she protests at you demanding she sit down and eat, you don’t give in. After you insist, she finally digs into some chow you stored in the saddlebag of the bike, though you can tell her mind is elsewhere.

    Yours is too.

    With no leads to go on, doubt begins to form, weighing heavily on you.

    “What kind of leads do you have?” You finally ask after she sets the food aside.

    “Well, several of them, none of which seem too solid.”
    She pulls out a map with hastily scribbled Tau writing all over it, and though you don’t read Tau, you give it a look.

    “His last communication was in the Tyranid area to the north. Some kroot thought they saw him way off in the distance headed toward Chaos lines. His tracking signal shows he’s along the beach, but the signal hasn’t moved in days. These are the last three places I haven’t checked.” She gestures around on the map.

    “So we should try these out then, I’m sure he’s bound to be at one of them!” You try to fire the Tau girl up, but it doesn’t look like she’s having any of it.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)17:00 No.17434635
    [ ] Head to the Tyranid zone

    [ ] Try out the Chaos lines

    [ ] Go to the beach
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:02 No.17434650
         File1325800937.jpg-(75 KB, 800x574, 1295747144170.jpg)
    75 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:02 No.17434651
    >[x] Go to the beach

    If her brother IS Faptau, he's probably gotten 'distracted' by a Sororitas beach party or something.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:04 No.17434677
         File1325801068.jpg-(155 KB, 600x900, tau bulge tiny dick.jpg)
    155 KB
    >this thread
    >> Cidolfas Orlandu, aka Thunder God Cid !gYjELVKQn6 01/05/12(Thu)17:05 No.17434689
    Holy shit I'm on time for a Heretical Love thread! Unfortunately, I have to go to dinner soon...

    Anyway, check out the 'nids. Maybe we'll find our Bronifex from way back when?
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)17:06 No.17434694
    [X] Head to the Tyranid zone

    Maybe the "Genestelers" will be friendly
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:06 No.17434695
    [x] Go to the Beach

    We might find a clue as to his current whereabouts by examining his locator beacon.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:06 No.17434699
    In order to bring back ass-fi´shulu
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:07 No.17434708

    Need to find Carnifex-bro.

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:07 No.17434713
    Beach,Beach! Nothing bad ever happens at a beach.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:08 No.17434718
         File1325801297.jpg-(12 KB, 250x238, 163922498.jpg)
    12 KB
    [ ] Head to the Tyranid zone
    >bile cannons toxin sacs, nearly died


    [ ] Try out the Chaos lines
    >died, skull fucked, scored with demonettes and murderer

    still bad

    [X] Go to the beach
    >man eating fish, but lived to get laid another day

    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/05/12(Thu)17:08 No.17434724
    Hm, so let me get this straight, if we go to the tyranid lines, we face tyranids, if we go to the chaos lines, we fight chaos (and possibly Abaddon), aaaand if we go to the beach, theres the possibility we might encounter that giant ass sea monster that almost eaten us...
    [ ] Go to the beach, we may not have won Round 2 with the crons, but mayhaps we will with that sea monster, now that we got a triple weapon arm... thing
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:09 No.17434727
         File1325801355.jpg-(7 KB, 200x200, 1325777382717.jpg)
    7 KB
    so much heresy
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:10 No.17434739
         File1325801408.jpg-(55 KB, 400x400, xenolurk9.jpg)
    55 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:11 No.17434752
    [x] Go to the beach
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)17:11 No.17434759
    Speaking of necrons, we've got to find a way to Screw the crazy out yandere-cron
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:11 No.17434761
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:12 No.17434767
    to the beach, let's find Shas'O Nii'chan!
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:12 No.17434770

    No we damned well do not

    Have you not fucking learned by now that going anywhere near 'crons is a BAD FUCKING IDEA
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:12 No.17434773
         File1325801559.png-(33 KB, 510x546, 1315694160011.png)
    33 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:13 No.17434780
    Oh hell no, avoid the crazy hole plz /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:14 No.17434790
         File1325801665.jpg-(80 KB, 600x831, xenosynthskin.jpg)
    80 KB
    /tg/ has a hardon for Necrons. I don't know why.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)17:14 No.17434791
    “Alright, as much as I know you are going to hate this…”

    “Don’t say it.”

    “We’re heading toward the Tyranids.”

    “I told you not to say it…” Ailia looks northward, you can tell she’s none too thrilled at the prospect.

    “I’m joking, let’s try the beach first.”

    You hug her around the middle from behind and give her a squeeze. Her bouncy goods feel nice on your arm, though that wasn’t your reason for doing it.

    “What happens if we don’t find him?” She asks as she sinks back into you.

    “We will.”

    You lift her back up until she’s standing on her own.

    “Trust me, if I can somehow survive this fucking place, your bro won’t have any problem.”

    Ailia sighs, but then stands up and slaps herself on the face a few times with both hands.

    “Alright! He’s got to be at the beach. He IS at the beach!” She pumps her fist and looks fired up.

    “That’s more like it, this is the blueberry I remember!”

    She turns around and gives you a big smile, looking entirely more energized now.

    “You’ve got luck on your side, with you along, we are sure to find him.” She puts her hands on her curvy hips and looks up at her Crisis suit.


    Your spidey sense is tingling on its own?

    Roll to do the Matrix
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:15 No.17434804
    because robot fetish, and because Xeno is the cutest thing on /tg/, and because liking Mat Ward's creation is now hip.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:15 No.17434808
         File1325801736.gif-(7 KB, 93x100, 1322791950995.gif)
    7 KB
    rolled 2 = 2

    >Roll to do the Matrix

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:16 No.17434817
    >> MY DIE IS ROLLING ON ITS OWN 01/05/12(Thu)17:16 No.17434821
    rolled 4 = 4

    what matrix?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:16 No.17434824
    rolled 19 = 19


    Let's do this.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:17 No.17434828
    rolled 4 = 4

    oh... okay

    Also, is it normal that I imagine Max as Charlie Sheen?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:17 No.17434832
         File1325801859.jpg-(23 KB, 469x428, 1322506851930.jpg)
    23 KB
    rolled 5 = 5

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:17 No.17434833
         File1325801866.png-(108 KB, 360x360, oh hey.png)
    108 KB
    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/05/12(Thu)17:17 No.17434834
         File1325801871.png-(16 KB, 564x420, 1325549535892.png)
    16 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:18 No.17434836
    rolled 15 = 15

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:17 No.17434837
    rolled 18 = 18

    Shit, sorry total newfag
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)17:18 No.17434839
    Must be all the tiger blood.

    Also if you are new to the thread, 1d20 is the standard here, forgot to mention it.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:18 No.17434840
    rolled 19 = 19

    Let's do this shit.
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)17:18 No.17434851
    rolled 15 = 15

    MY point is that if we could some how de-crazy her............
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:18 No.17434852
         File1325801937.jpg-(84 KB, 400x360, tauwut.jpg)
    84 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:19 No.17434861
    Noko rolls are invalid.
    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/05/12(Thu)17:20 No.17434875
         File1325802044.jpg-(38 KB, 445x402, 1325547220054.jpg)
    38 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:20 No.17434876
         File1325802049.jpg-(35 KB, 400x321, platoon-sheen.jpg)
    35 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:20 No.17434877
    rolled 9 = 9

    Why's that?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:20 No.17434878
    stop rollan
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:21 No.17434881


    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:21 No.17434886
         File1325802077.jpg-(82 KB, 400x425, CREEEED'stitan.jpg)
    82 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:21 No.17434887
         File1325802084.jpg-(103 KB, 380x312, At_the_Computer_by_ThatOldRobo(...).jpg)
    103 KB

    . . .
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:21 No.17434888
         File1325802091.jpg-(38 KB, 600x441, 1314356033405.jpg)
    38 KB
    rolled 13 = 13

    spider man reporting for duty
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)17:21 No.17434896
    “Get down!”

    You tackle Ailia to the ground, your face bouncing off of her xenobags as both of you hit the dirt.


    The shot misses, but still only by a hair.

    Whoever is shooting at you, they are good.

    You were just lucky enough to have your untrained mind powers detect the threat, though you don't know how you did it.

    “What the hell was that?!” Ailia asks as you move her over to behind your bike, using it for whatever little cover its worth.

    “I can’t be sure, I’ve only heard it once…”

    Another shot makes a loud *PING* as it slams into the bike, which thankfully is stout enough to stop it.

    “No, now there’s no mistaking it.”

    You bite your lip, this isn’t good.

    “That’s an Exitus rifle...”
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:22 No.17434904

    o.o Has.. no one else noticed that Tau forehead marks are cleavage?

    They have subliminal boobs on their faces.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:23 No.17434913
    rolled 9 = 9

    Exitus, stage left!
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:23 No.17434915

    >Implying anyone trained on an Exitus rifle would ever miss
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:24 No.17434922
    welp. we've attracted the officio assassinorum. gg max
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:24 No.17434932

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:24 No.17434933

    You can make disguised troll rolls using noko, I.E dice+1d1+19 = 20 or

    Either is undetectable, so noko rolls are ignored.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:24 No.17434936
    How do you outsmart boolit now?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:24 No.17434937

    >Implying anything matters to MAX FUCKING DECANUS.

    No seriously.
    We fucking partied with the Emperor, fucked Khorne's daughter, and have BEATEN Doom Rider on a bike not once but TWICE.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:24 No.17434942
    tell that to my friends vindicare, never killed a single man, always dies around 2nd turn
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:25 No.17434945
    Oh shit
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)17:25 No.17434953
    Posting the ever expanding head-canon cast daily, for all to see

    Max: Steven Bulm
    Sister Lycheria: Tabitha St. Germain
    Tau girl: Tara Strong
    Tsunseer: Grey DeLisle
    Deldar Twins: Venus Terezo
    Khornette: Melissa Fahn
    Yandre-Cron: Dionne Quan
    Techpriestess: Andrea Libman
    Karen: Olivia D'Abo
    Doomrider: Dr. Rockso
    Abbadon: Christopher Sabat
    Nurgle: John DiMaggio
    Slaanesh: Tim Curray
    Khorn: Keith David
    Tzeentch: Nicole Oliver
    Warboss: John DiMaggio
    Emperor: Crush (Finding Nemo)
    Malice: Frank Welker
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:26 No.17434959
    no dude its totally an ork sniper, just ask the celestial lions
    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/05/12(Thu)17:26 No.17434963
         File1325802419.jpg-(110 KB, 474x492, 1325548809979.jpg)
    110 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:27 No.17434966
    They're Vaginas.
    Oh Fuck we are so dead now
    Well we beat down an eversor in a earlier thread.
    Man, dude could've been miles away from here.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:27 No.17434967
    >Tara Strong

    no thanks
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)17:27 No.17434970
    Maybe the Assasin's armor is covering some curves.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:27 No.17434974
    >exitus rifle
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:28 No.17434978
         File1325802490.png-(201 KB, 480x360, isnt.png)
    201 KB
    rolled 18 = 18

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:28 No.17434982
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:28 No.17434983
    The only reasonable thing to do now would be to eat the bear plant again. In our Bear confused state, we managed to best an eversor assasin. No way a pansy Vindicare could fend of an enraged Bear commisar with his puny gun.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:28 No.17434984
         File1325802511.png-(5 KB, 199x176, 1324425301065.png)
    5 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:28 No.17434985
    Why is everyone panicking? Who's Exitus?
    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/05/12(Thu)17:29 No.17434997
         File1325802584.jpg-(163 KB, 615x733, LIIVI_sketch_by_IronShrineMaid(...).jpg)
    163 KB
    Maybe its /tg/'s favorite eldar farseer lovin Vindicare Assassin???
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:30 No.17435001
         File1325802602.jpg-(16 KB, 300x300, 8489521.jpg)
    16 KB
    rolled 3 = 3

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:30 No.17435002
    do we have any smoke grenades by chance?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:30 No.17435004
    it's a rifle used by Vindicare assassins.

    Such as the famous traitor LIIVI, who fell in love with a dirty eldar witch, and is obviously jealous of our manliness.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)17:30 No.17435005
    You know it’s only a matter of time now. All the assassin has to do is move around until he can get the angle right and then its bye bye Yagis V and hello Warp.

    As much as you like Kaleshi, you want your next meeting with her to be on your terms.

    Another shot cracks into the bike, puncturing the engine and severing it as a means of escape.


    Eight curses, his first assignment and he’s already missed his target.

    He tracks the rogue guardsman and his xeno associate through the scope as they lay behind the bike, hidden from his fire.

    Fuck it, he’s going to have to move.

    Eight rises up from his perch, his crosshairs remaining fixed on the bike as he shifts to his right to get a better angle for a kill shot…

    You can sense something is up, this might be your one shot to get out of here alive.

    “Ailia, we are going to have to do something right now or we are going to get dusted by this assassin.”

    The Tau girl nods, she’s no newbie when it comes to combat.

    [ ] Distract the Vindicare while she gets into her suit

    [ ] Try out your mind powers, though they might not work at such distance

    [ ] See if you can counter-snipe him with your lasfinger
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:30 No.17435011
    Let's hope so
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:31 No.17435015
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:31 No.17435023
    >[x] Try out your mind powers, though they might not work at such distance

    That's the last thing he'll be expecting
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:31 No.17435026
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:31 No.17435029
    rolled 14 = 14

    Give him the finger.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:32 No.17435034
    [x] Try out your mind powers, though they might not work at such distance

    Time to practice our FUS RO DAH
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:32 No.17435036

    [x] Countersnipe.

    Why the FUCK NOT?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:32 No.17435041
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:33 No.17435046
    rolled 11 = 11

    Distract the Vindicare while she gets into her suit
    not going to have tech sitting there uselessly

    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/05/12(Thu)17:33 No.17435050
    [ ] Try out your mind powers, though they might not work at such distance
    isnt there like a dstraction dragon/psyker shout we can use on the vindicare?
    if not, then we shall counter snipe!
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:33 No.17435052
    Mind bullets!
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:33 No.17435054

    [x] Give that fucker the middle finger.

    Use it to make sure he never has children ever again.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:33 No.17435055
    So... what, are we going to have to roll to outsmart boolit or something?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:33 No.17435061
    [X] See if you can counter-snipe him with your lasfinger
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)17:34 No.17435063
    [X] See if you can counter-snipe him with your lasfinger
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:34 No.17435069
         File1325802886.jpg-(27 KB, 576x432, Bang.jpg)
    27 KB

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:34 No.17435071
    rolled 16 = 16

    [x] Point finger in the general direction of incoming fire, "Bang." and blink.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:35 No.17435076
    [X] See if you can counter-snipe him with your lasfinger
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:37 No.17435094
    rolled 11 = 11

    throw voice?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:37 No.17435096


    Our canon voice is the guy who voiced Spike.

    It would be wrong to NOT do this.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:37 No.17435100
    rolled 13 = 13

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:38 No.17435105
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:38 No.17435109
         File1325803127.jpg-(37 KB, 480x480, 1318971856847.jpg)
    37 KB

    Well shit, when you put it like that...
    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/05/12(Thu)17:39 No.17435116
         File1325803175.png-(7 KB, 300x300, AM_WHAT.png)
    7 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:40 No.17435123
         File1325803218.jpg-(63 KB, 194x205, 1316036561518.jpg)
    63 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:40 No.17435124
         File1325803232.jpg-(12 KB, 425x325, BestGuninTheworld.jpg)
    12 KB
    This....this is the best gun...in the world!
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:41 No.17435127
         File1325803277.jpg-(23 KB, 300x278, shotweb.jpg)
    23 KB
    [ ] See if you can counter-snipe him with your lasfinger
    but how?
    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/05/12(Thu)17:42 No.17435134
         File1325803328.png-(14 KB, 300x300, AM_WHATMUTHERFUCKER.png)
    14 KB
    >> the amazing Spider-Man 01/05/12(Thu)17:42 No.17435143
         File1325803355.jpg-(24 KB, 310x232, 22el.jpg)
    24 KB
    but how?
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)17:43 No.17435151
    “Alright, take this.”

    You hand Ailia hat-chan, she takes it but looks confused.

    “Put that on the end of your gun, when I tell you, pop it up over the bike.”

    Shit you hope this is going to work, the anti-sniper training you received mentioned fuck all about Vindicares. Would he even fall for something like this?

    You ready your lasfinger, hoping the distance wouldn’t be too great for you to make the shot. You were only ever a middle-of-the-pack marksman after all.

    Well, here goes nothing.


    Eight watches through the scope as the brim of the hat comes up over the bike.


    He doesn’t fire a shot.

    Several seconds pass, and Ailia looks over at you confused.

    “Shit, guess he isn’t going for it…”

    Well, you have to try something.

    “As soon as shit goes down, get into your suit as fast as you can…”

    You don’t give her time to question you.

    “FUS ROH DA!”

    You send the bike spinning toward the assassin, at the same time you ready your lasfinger.

    Is that him in the distance? You can’t be sure, but you have to take the shot.

    1d6 to hit, Max hits on a 4+
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:43 No.17435156
         File1325803430.jpg-(628 KB, 1184x1020, 1316115900675.jpg)
    628 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:44 No.17435160
    rolled 6 = 6


    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:44 No.17435162
    rolled 4 = 4

    Using other kinds of roll?
    what madness is this
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)17:44 No.17435166
         File1325803485.jpg-(130 KB, 550x516, 1315570858794.jpg)
    130 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:45 No.17435181

    WE WIN

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:45 No.17435183
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:45 No.17435186

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:45 No.17435188


    >> The Amazing Spider-Man 01/05/12(Thu)17:46 No.17435191
         File1325803592.jpg-(8 KB, 251x204, 130670332151020110725-22047-c3(...).jpg)
    8 KB
    rolled 6 = 6

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:47 No.17435199

    Boom. Headshot.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:47 No.17435200
         File1325803663.jpg-(60 KB, 500x379, xeno failroll.jpg)
    60 KB
    >dem rolls

    Stop being so lucky and competent, you are hurting Xeno's feelings.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:48 No.17435203
         File1325803690.gif-(4 KB, 100x100, 1310198188402.gif)
    4 KB

    >> dice+1d6 Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)17:48 No.17435208
    lets do this,
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:48 No.17435211
         File1325803738.jpg-(48 KB, 500x375, tumblr_lqmkl84mz71qgi7jbo1_500.jpg)
    48 KB
    >> NIET NEIN 01/05/12(Thu)17:49 No.17435218
    NO, let's not.
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)17:49 No.17435220
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:49 No.17435221
    >Roll to wound

    You know what the dicegods (also papa) will do.

    >called rvicsito

    That I did captcha
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:51 No.17435242
         File1325803872.gif-(950 KB, 476x319, 1298153227999.gif)
    950 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:53 No.17435255
         File1325803999.gif-(74 KB, 500x500, jiggly xeno.gif)
    74 KB
    >> The Amazing Spider-Man 01/05/12(Thu)17:53 No.17435258
         File1325804028.gif-(8 KB, 161x167, 13109674217220110725-22047-1hv(...).gif)
    8 KB
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)17:54 No.17435259
    You pull up and fire!

    Eight drops the rifle and dives for cover as the lasbolt hits his gun.

    He curses and draws his sidearm.

    Things are not going according to his plan…

    “I hit him!?” You yell, as much in excitement as disbelief.

    “Nice shot!” Ailia says, before the hatch to her suit closes and the walking gun platform powers up.

    You notice the Vindicare running toward you now, his sidearm out.

    Poor guy doesn’t stand a chance.

    Ailia gets the Crisis suit online, and quickly fires a missile from her pod.

    You watch the trail as it arcs toward the assassin, who goes to dive to the ground but doesn’t make it.

    The missile impacts behind him, throwing him forward. He tumbles end over end until smacking hard into the ground, where he lays still.

    You stick close to the Crisis suit as you and Ailia move forward to check it out.

    Standing over the Vindicare now, you notice he’s skinny and short. Not exactly what you had expected to find.

    You flip the body over with your foot and, keeping the barrel of your plasma gun pressed to his chest, pull of the mask.

    “He’s just a kid…” You look down at the limp body lying in the grass, and can’t help but feel a bit sorry for him.

    The assassin stirs slightly, and you toss his weapons aside, Ailia making sure her burst cannon is too close to miss.

    You prod the Vindicare with your foot.

    “Wake up kid, I’ve got some questions.”
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:54 No.17435268
         File1325804089.png-(231 KB, 810x636, 1322956490654.png)
    231 KB

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:56 No.17435277
    Hey, wanna /ss/?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:57 No.17435286
         File1325804245.png-(92 KB, 600x474, 1315691010485.png)
    92 KB
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)17:57 No.17435290
         File1325804269.jpg-(8 KB, 242x209, 1314832223515[1].jpg)
    8 KB
    >Vindicare running toward you
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:58 No.17435292
    I hate humanity
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:59 No.17435307
    rolled 2 = 2

    Man, 8 Should just be called 13.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)17:59 No.17435310
         File1325804390.png-(20 KB, 100x100, shockedraiden.png)
    20 KB
    >he' just a kid
    >> The Amazing Spider-Man 01/05/12(Thu)18:00 No.17435313
         File1325804404.png-(98 KB, 165x115, 131404040944.png)
    98 KB
    rolled 20 = 20

    >burst cannon is too close to miss.
    please dont fire please dont fire please dont fire

    rolling for misshap
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:00 No.17435318
         File1325804426.jpg-(112 KB, 1200x1453, 1322956808641.jpg)
    112 KB

    >dem hooves
    >dat blue skin

    Om fucking nom.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:01 No.17435333
    I'm preeetty sure that dark eldars have a dozen way of cooking blueberry muffins.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:03 No.17435351
    rolled 11 = 11

    Right, let's make some Snake stuff and ask him if love can bloom on the battlefield!
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)18:04 No.17435355
    So, how long until our girls start meeting eachother?
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)18:04 No.17435356
    The assassin opens his eyes, looking ready to fight. He notices the Crisis suit baring down on him, and your plasma arm shoved into his chest, and decides against it.

    “Like I said, I’ve got some questions and you are going to answer me.”

    The kid, no older than fourteen or so, looks around with his hawkish eyes, searching for some way out.

    Finally he glares back at you.

    “I’ve got nothing to say to a heretic.”

    You smile.

    “Yeah, I figured as much. Ailia, mind stepping on out here?”

    “…Huh?” The booming voice comes from the Crisis suit.

    “Don’t worry, he so much as farts and I introduce his heart to plasma.”

    After several moments, the hatch opens up and Ailia drops down onto the ground beside you.

    “Alright kid, I didn’t want to have to do this but I know torturing it out of you probably wont work.”

    You grab Ailia around the middle and pull her closer to you.

    “Which is why if you don’t tell me everything I want to know, I’m snapping a picture of you kissing this here Tau and sending it out on the net. Every ship from here to Cadia will see it.” You lie, hopefully convincingly.

    The Vindicare swallows hard, looking between you and Ailia. He knows what would happen if you did that, and he doesn’t seem to realize you are bluffing.

    “You wouldn’t…” He finally hisses.

    “I’ve already gotten freaky with this here space commie, don’t tell me what I wouldn’t do.” You grab one of Ailia’s boobs for effect, giving it a little squeeze.

    The Tau girl is blushing hard beside you, but she doesn’t budge.

    “What do you want to know…?” The assassin finally relents, looking away.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)18:05 No.17435359
    “Well for starters, why are you trying to put a bullet through my head?”

    The kid’s steel gaze locks with your own.

    “…You mean you don’t even know?”

    “Know what, exactly?” You press.

    “The Inquisition has it out for you, you’re the most wanted man in the sector.”
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:06 No.17435378
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:07 No.17435388
    for what?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:08 No.17435390
    The whole sector? I'm flattered
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:08 No.17435396
    Well, looks like we'll be pounding Inquisitor Valeria's butt soon!
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:08 No.17435398

    >“The Inquisition has it out for you, you’re the most wanted man in the sector.”



    Oh, don't play coy.
    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/05/12(Thu)18:08 No.17435401
    Why am I not surprised? Still, even we get hunted by the Inquisition, they're gonna have a big Titan of a handful when they gotta deal with Malal and his new, now not so incompetent lackey
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)18:08 No.17435402
    The Sisters of Battle don't seem to be in on this.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:10 No.17435410
    Ahem? Ordo Xenos much?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:11 No.17435420
         File1325805066.jpg-(173 KB, 500x683, 1319378373408.jpg)
    173 KB
    having your way with xenos and warp-surfing are capital offences.
    Good thing they don't have you for jaywalking.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:11 No.17435422
         File1325805070.jpg-(151 KB, 700x519, inquisitors.jpg)
    151 KB
    >> Iron Lung 01/05/12(Thu)18:11 No.17435431
         File1325805114.jpg-(771 KB, 694x1288, KICKASS_by_torture_device.jpg)
    771 KB
    ...sounds like Alpha Legion shit to me.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:12 No.17435438

    Yes but he surfed with the GODDAMNED EMPRAH HIMSELF

    In fact the big E himself even said to Max that 'heretical' shit was way cool.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:12 No.17435442
         File1325805171.jpg-(672 KB, 2120x1960, 1315927109084.jpg)
    672 KB
    Dem Tau, mang. Who is this artist?
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)18:12 No.17435443
    Shame we'll never be able to convince them that this is was all done with the Emperors blessing.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:13 No.17435448
         File1325805186.jpg-(10 KB, 240x200, 1325437354172.jpg)
    10 KB

    Only the sector?
    We can do better than this, guys.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:13 No.17435449
         File1325805190.jpg-(45 KB, 323x500, SkorzenyOtto_m.jpg)
    45 KB
    Most dangerous man in the sector?
    Well, congrats on that one, Kamerad.
    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/05/12(Thu)18:13 No.17435452
    Oh god, Papa N if your reading this, PLEASE make this happen! PLEASE let the Inquisition send these three after us, this would be the third(?) greatest thing in HL if you did
    >> The Amazing Spider-Man 01/05/12(Thu)18:13 No.17435456
         File1325805228.gif-(1.87 MB, 320x240, superheroes-batman-superman-le(...).gif)
    1.87 MB
    >the most wanted man in the sector.
    sounds about right

    >skims papa's post
    >sees spelling error
    >tries to troll
    >reads again
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)18:13 No.17435459

    Your body can’t handle this.

    You almost lower the plasma gun as your mind reels. The Inquisition is after you? How do they even know about you?
    The assassin laughs.

    “You don’t know how it happened, do you? The city is rigged up with cameras, they saw you consorting with xenos.” He laughs even harder as your face goes white.

    “So what do they know?” You ask, though you can already guess its any of the hundreds of heresies you've committed.

    “Hmph, enough to want you dead, which is all I was told.”

    You grab the kid by his vest and pick him up until he’s facing you.

    “Are they here yet? Are you the only one?”

    The assassin laughs and shakes his head, as though in disbelief.

    “They don’t need to be here. This planet has already been deemed beyond saving. If I failed my mission here, well…”

    He trails off, still shaking his head.

    Furious, you grab him by the jaw and force him to look at you.

    “Well WHAT?!”

    He stops laughing, his eyes now serious and perhaps even gloomy.

    “Simple.” He looks up at the sky.

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:14 No.17435462
    Oh you perfectly know it, and you've just made a Xeno thread so that we could argue about it.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:14 No.17435464
    Vindicare? I'm guessing this is somehow related to the Inquisition?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:15 No.17435471
    Technomancer. Some sick French with a torture-fetish.
    Pretty bro, though.
    >> Iron Lung 01/05/12(Thu)18:15 No.17435473
    Mother fucker doesn't know about the combined arms WAAAAUGH that's going to be rocket-surfing up his bosses ass soon enough!
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)18:16 No.17435475
         File1325805365.jpg-(13 KB, 314x295, 1311740997961[1].jpg)
    13 KB
    OH SHIT!
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:16 No.17435481
    THE Technomancer. Not bro, but not sick either.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:16 No.17435482


    1) Do cocaine
    2) Summon Doomrider
    3) warp onto Inquisition ship
    4) Introduce them to Max's pimp hand
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:16 No.17435484
    This shit is not kosher.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:17 No.17435494
         File1325805465.jpg-(33 KB, 310x400, images (25).jpg)
    33 KB
    Exterminatus just for us?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:17 No.17435498
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:18 No.17435499
         File1325805491.jpg-(105 KB, 720x404, 1296800257557.jpg)
    105 KB

    man, why do they have to kill our groove?
    shit, I like Yagis V a lot. why can't we just have the place to ourselves?
    Bloody killjoys.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:18 No.17435508
         File1325805525.jpg-(59 KB, 576x320, Burning_kharak.jpg)
    59 KB

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:18 No.17435509
    rolled 18 = 18

    Exterminatus? NOW?
    >captcha: Mode: usinguy
    I think captcha wants ss. Rolling.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:19 No.17435514
    rolled 4 = 4

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:19 No.17435515
    Look up the skies and see....
    I'm just a guardsman
    Committing heresy
    Because I'm easy come, easy go...
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:19 No.17435516
         File1325805582.jpg-(21 KB, 437x305, simples.jpg)
    21 KB
    Extermaxatus?! Exterminatus! Simples!
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:20 No.17435525
    >> The Amazing Spider-Man 01/05/12(Thu)18:20 No.17435526
         File1325805638.png-(131 KB, 500x285, spider_real shit.png)
    131 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:20 No.17435528
    rolled 2 = 2

    Is this 40k?
    Or is it Fantasy?
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)18:21 No.17435530
    NO SS.! Not until we're playing as a Daemonette Comissar.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:21 No.17435533

    Finish it.

    For the love of holy Terra, finish it.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:21 No.17435535
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:23 No.17435551
    Any kind of xenos;
    Doesn't really matter to me
    To me
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:23 No.17435559
    Why don't we wait for the Exterminatus and then retroactively surf on the incoming blast, while Bluetits gives us a blowjob?

    Or am I thinking of Doomrider?
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)18:26 No.17435578
    You can feel the blood draining from your head.

    “When?” You ask in barely a whisper.

    The assassin shrugs, turning back to look at you.

    “Whenever they are ready, I guess.”

    “Do you have any idea when that might be?” You grab the assassin on the shoulder.

    “Why should I tell you? We’re already both dead.”

    “If we are already dead, why so scared of one little picture with a Tau?”

    The Vindicare looks to Ailia, then back at you.

    “It’s not important.”

    Well whatever, you don’t really care about that tidbit of this kid’s life at the moment. The fact that the Inquisition is after you is one thing, that they are going to glass this planet to get you is something entirely different.

    “What’s your name, kid?” You ask, letting go of him.

    “…Eight.” He finally responds.

    “Alright, Eight. Here’s how it’s going to be. I don’t particularly want to die and I’m sure you don’t either. You may not believe me right now and it isn’t really important if you do, but the Emperor himself has sanctioned what I’ve done and getting exterminated right now would kind of dick him over as well.”

    The Vindicare looks at you like you are crazy.

    “You’re nuts.”

    “Yeah, I know. But I’m not lying to you.”

    “Oh yeah? Prove it.”

    That stops you mid-thought.

    “I… I can’t.” You admit.

    “Well no shit? So I’m just supposed to go on your word then, am I?”

    “Um… Max?” Ailia says, tapping you on the shoulder.

    “Just a second…” You brush away her hand.

    Eight looks up at you, awestruck.

    “Maybe I can convince you dude.” Comes the booming voice from behind you.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:27 No.17435580
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:28 No.17435585
         File1325806096.jpg-(35 KB, 294x402, 1301367701436.jpg)
    35 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:28 No.17435590
    Big E in da house!
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:29 No.17435593
         File1325806151.jpg-(53 KB, 500x364, emperor-of-mankind-approves-th(...).jpg)
    53 KB
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)18:29 No.17435594
         File1325806154.jpg-(60 KB, 237x237, 1315601249448[1].jpg)
    60 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:29 No.17435599
         File1325806172.jpg-(96 KB, 445x496, 83572d151bba788d142204904322f0(...).jpg)
    96 KB
    >“Maybe I can convince you dude.” Comes the booming voice from behind you.

    You'd think the Inquisitorial astropaths would have picked up on the big E himself manifesting on the planet.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:30 No.17435606
    "I don't suppose you can convince the INquisition as well?"
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:31 No.17435616
         File1325806293.jpg-(109 KB, 913x516, 1322293475461.jpg)
    109 KB
    Deus-Imperator. Ex. Immaterium.
    >> Taffer 01/05/12(Thu)18:31 No.17435617
    Nanana...... <do I have to say it?>

    You all know who it is!

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:33 No.17435638
    >Doomrider as the Voice of the Emperor
    Fuck yes. Next, we'll find out the Emperor is secretly Slaanesh who was Tzeentch all along.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:33 No.17435643
         File1325806439.png-(52 KB, 836x721, 1323126130333.png)
    52 KB

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:34 No.17435650

    No, we've been over this, Tzeentch is the mother of his child after he knocked her up at that party
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:34 No.17435651
         File1325806483.jpg-(128 KB, 646x513, 1315597130093.jpg)
    128 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:35 No.17435664
    That child being?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:35 No.17435666
         File1325806557.jpg-(141 KB, 401x599, KHORNE.jpg)
    141 KB
    You fool, the Emperor was always Khorne. Did you not notice that the Golden Throne of Terra was made of SKULLS!?!?!
    >> The Amazing Spider-Man 01/05/12(Thu)18:36 No.17435672
         File1325806612.gif-(213 KB, 176x176, spiderman116_spideydancing1.gif)
    213 KB
    i so happy i could just dance
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:37 No.17435674
    That's how Tzeentch does it. He tricked manking into using Occam's Razor because he makes everything needlessly complicated.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:38 No.17435687

    Who the fuck knows, s'not been born yet. Have you read the other threads at all?
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)18:38 No.17435688
         File1325806700.jpg-(24 KB, 500x302, 1318730812925[1].jpg)
    24 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:38 No.17435693
    but isn't Occam's razor a weapon against complicated and convoluted shit?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:39 No.17435700

    Actually nope, Papa retconned that, said it 'didn't feel right'.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)18:39 No.17435704
    You recognize that voice, and whirl around.


    He smiles and raises a hand to signal silence. You notice it isn’t really him in the flesh, more like some kind of hazy projection of him.

    Eight’s mouth is still moving, but he isn’t saying anything, eyes fixated on his god.

    “So Eight… I know you’ve had a pretty tough break in life kid, but I’m going to need your help on this one man.” The Emperor says, folding his arms and looking down at the awestruck Vindicare.

    “My… My help, Emperor?” He gulps.

    “Yeah dude, your help. You see its like this… Max here is my bro, and he’s helping me out with some serious shit that I needed done. It’s a big responsibility dude, lots of stuff he has to deal with. Really tough stuff. Now I’m not quite ready to come back to the forefront yet, so Max here is going to set things up so I can without everyone losing their collective shit. If he dies here, that kind of fucks with my chi, you dig? So bada bing bada boom, you either help him or get out of his way.” The Emperor sums it up with a shrug.

    “Uh… Emprah…” You finally ask, pulling his projection aside.

    “Couldn’t you uh… Just tell the Inquisition off yourself?”

    The Emperor bites his lip and looks away.

    “Yeah man… I’m not really ready to deal with those guys yet. They are a serious buzzkill and probably wouldn’t believe me, which is why I need to come back in the flesh before I can talk to them.”

    “So… I’m on my own here?” You finally ask, not liking the thought of it.

    The Emperor laughs.

    “Naw man, I’m not a douche. This guy is going to help you out.”

    With a pop, a figure warps into view next to Ailia.

    “Shas’O. Ready to kick some ass.”
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:40 No.17435712

    No... it's a term for applied logic, that the easiest and most straightforward answer is usually the correct one.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:41 No.17435724
         File1325806887.jpg-(21 KB, 383x329, 2 (1).jpg)
    21 KB
    wat just happened
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:41 No.17435726
    The Razor simply says that you needn't look for overly complications causes.

    Tzeentch is an overly complicated cause.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:42 No.17435730
    >“Shas’O. Ready to kick some ass.”
    As a guy who has played Tau on the tabletop and on DoW... I came.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:42 No.17435735
         File1325806959.jpg-(108 KB, 702x572, 003.jpg)
    108 KB

    >“Shas’O. Ready to kick some ass.”

    Please, please, please let it be Shas'O Fap'Tau, and his right hand of DOOM.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:43 No.17435751
    rolled 2 = 2

    If he came from the Warp i guess he is talking about Shas'O from Fire Warrior.
    you know
    The Champion of Khorne
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)18:44 No.17435758
    He has a right pimp-hand, we have a left pimp-hand, its perfect
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:44 No.17435760

    >talking about Shas'O from Fire Warrior.

    Shas'O is a rank, numbnuts, his name was Kais.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:45 No.17435765
    If that's true, I came twice. But it's probably just her bro.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:45 No.17435767
    >> The Amazing Spider-Man 01/05/12(Thu)18:46 No.17435773
         File1325807181.png-(165 KB, 400x224, swag.png)
    165 KB
    ...out wingman is a 13 year olf boy...
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:46 No.17435774
    I wonder if he's Allia's bro?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:46 No.17435777

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:47 No.17435784
    Oh no nevermind.
    he isn't Shas'O but Shas'La T'Au Kais
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:48 No.17435789
    >Shas'O Kais

    Thats DoW:DH the FW Kais has the rank of Shas'ui

    Therefore it cannot be the FW protag, but it is probably Ailia's brother who she mentioned was the Tau commander (Shas'O)
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:48 No.17435790

    I always kind of hoped that Kais became Shas'O Kais in Dark Crusade, but apparently the novelisation says Shas'La Kais was locked up forever in an institution afterward, since he was Mon'Tau (I think that's the term) - a loose cannon, so to speak.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:49 No.17435806
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:50 No.17435810


    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:50 No.17435814
    I still wait for the moment where Kais break down the Asylum and destroy shit down
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:51 No.17435815
    What if her brother is a bishounen?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:51 No.17435817
    they share a name guys,
    Fire warrior Shas la and commander Shas'o from Dow 1 are bot hnamed kais.
    however it is unknown if they are the same person, as kais is a popluar name, as it means Skilled.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:52 No.17435829
    They're not.
    Kais from Fire Warrior is in a asylum
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:52 No.17435836

    Well what's the difference?

    Also it's suggested that Khorne merely 'guided' Kais as opposed to outright filling his head with demons.

    That said, I'm happy to ignore the whole novelisation since it's obvious it was written in to accommodate the whole FPS one-man-army thing.

    In my head, Kais was bumped up to Shas'O after SOLOING A GREATER DEMON OF TZEENTCH.

    It would explain why he kicks ass all over Kronos in DC.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:52 No.17435838
    he got better
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)18:56 No.17435857
    “Aniki!!!!” Ailia shouts, throwing her arms around the newcomer.

    “Hey little sis, what’s going on?” He tussles her hair.

    “Oi! This is getting too long! You’d better let me give you a haircut once this is over.” He picks up strands of her hair disapprovingly.

    The Tau commander is large, and has to be even outside his armor. He has his helmet off, and his face though kind looking, is battle hardened and bears several scars.

    His gaze falls to you, and he pats Ailia on the head before approaching you.

    “Your Emperor filled me in on the current situation. In return for taking care of my sister, I’ve agreed to help you out here.”

    He holds out his hand, which you clap with your own, grabbing it in a broshake. His right arm is huge, at least twice the size of his left. With the armor on it looks a bit weird, but his right arm is fucking ripped. Dude’s been eating his oats.

    “Good to have you. If you’re half as tough as Ailia makes you out to be, you might not even need me.”

    The Taubro laughs before slipping on his helmet.

    “If you’re half as nuts as I’ve been told, I might not even get a chance to help.”

    Ailia slaps her brother on the back.

    “Are you sure you’re all right onii-chan? I mean, this is your first time back in the field since the… Incident…”

    “I’m fine, I’m SKULLS FOR THE!... fine. See? Nothing wrong.”

    “Err… Right…” Ailia says, having pulled her upper body away.

    You turn back to the Emperor, who’s still talking to Eight.
    “So dude, will you help us out here? I could use an extra hand to help Max out on his mission.”

    Eight nods furiously.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:58 No.17435878
    >His right arm is huge, at least twice the size of his left.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:58 No.17435879
         File1325807891.jpg-(9 KB, 190x265, 1323905673774.jpg)
    9 KB

    >MFW he's Shas'O Kais Fap'Tau
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)18:59 No.17435886
         File1325807943.png-(373 KB, 551x387, 1319729716734[1].png)
    373 KB
    >Her brother is both the Titicular Fire Warrior AND FapTau
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:59 No.17435900

    There are no words to describe how much I love you right now Papa
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)18:59 No.17435901
         File1325807999.jpg-(73 KB, 1000x1000, croncron.jpg)
    73 KB
    >this is getting too long


    >and he pats Ailia on the head
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:00 No.17435903
         File1325808029.jpg-(73 KB, 186x236, sette awesome.jpg)
    73 KB
    >His right arm is huge, at least twice the size of his left.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:00 No.17435904
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:00 No.17435908
    >faptau is fire warrior is shas'o kais is bluetits' brother
    I cannot express my Tzeentchian joy
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)19:01 No.17435910
    Bro-Tau needs a voice, perhaps Scott McNeal?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:01 No.17435914
    I'm gonna have to edit the faptau page on 1d4chan
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:02 No.17435921
    So many cameos... Wh-wh-why can't it be cannon?
    I'm sure papa could bring WH40k back to the laxed game it was, not the grimdark it is.
    >Papa-n's 40k of awesome, why can't we have this?
    >Why can't we have nice things?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:02 No.17435927

    wait until the HL page is updated so you've got something to link it to
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:04 No.17435935
    To be fair with GW, papa rendition of Necrons is far more grimdark than the actual Necrons
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:05 No.17435941
    That feel when you realize that Max in the most Wanted Man in the Sector, the glory that could be had killing him.
    and the Partridges are still around.
    >> The Amazing Spider-Man 01/05/12(Thu)19:06 No.17435951
         File1325808374.jpg-(16 KB, 300x300, 9045783.jpg)
    16 KB
    thats cause there wine sipping, art gallery visiting pansies
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)19:06 No.17435953
    no offence intended, but that's at least partly because papa hasn't read the new-cron dex
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:06 No.17435955

    Don't give him Idea-

    oh, you went and did it anyway.
    >> OD'ing on HERESY 01/05/12(Thu)19:06 No.17435957
    So much heresy. So delicious.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:07 No.17435959
    >Implying this is a bad thing.
    But let's not enter into this debate
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)19:08 No.17435969
    I just had a vision of him Smacking himself with his big hand to snap himself out of the khorn moment.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)19:09 No.17435979
    “It is my honor, Emperor. On my life, I’ll see him through to the end of it.”

    “Alright dude, your in.” The Emperor gives him a handshake, though the assassin can’t feel it he can see it.

    “Hey Emprah, how’s Tzeentch?” You ask, glad to be talking to him again.

    “Ahh, yeah she’s good man!” He grins.

    “Really starting to show, guess I’ve got to be ready to be a dad and all but it’s cool. Chaos gods said they wanted to invite you over for dinner at their place one of these nights man, maybe once this Exterminatus business is over and whatnot.”

    “Really? That sounds like… Fun…?” You aren’t sure how you feel about it.

    “Yeah man, it will be a blast. Oh hey, Nurgle says he’s got something to give you next time you see him!” The Emperor remembers suddenly, and looks like he’s sizing you up.

    “Yeah… Should work…” He mutters.

    “So Emprah, how are we going to get up there?” You ask, feeling a bit of dread at the prospect of a surprise gift.

    “I mean, I assume they have a ship up there, maybe a fleet even…”

    “Hmm…” The Emperor rubs his jaw.

    “Well… The Tau have quite a few ships but that would be a big fight… Maybe borrow one from the wolves… hmmm…” He looks deep in thought.

    “Oh wait, man I almost forgot.” He laughs as he shakes his head in his hand.

    “I can just do this.”


    You, Eight, Ailia, and Kais are suddenly standing on the bridge of the Inquisition flagship.

    “By the Emperor… What is this?” An Inquisitor asks, raising an eyebrow.

    Several Grey Knights jostle to stand beside him.
    >> The debating Spider-Man 01/05/12(Thu)19:10 No.17435982
         File1325808621.gif-(500 KB, 499x371, 131168382487.gif)
    500 KB
    but i wanna!
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:12 No.17435994
    is it Inquisitor EMIL DARKHAMMER?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:14 No.17436010
         File1325808857.jpg-(145 KB, 586x552, 1319977785194.jpg)
    145 KB
    >everyone's faces when
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:15 No.17436020
    >Gray knights
    Oh boy.
    All my nat20s. EVER.
    You can thank me for jinxing you later.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)19:16 No.17436029
    “Uhh… Err… Evening gents?” You mutter.

    “Showing up for your own execution, how noble.” The Inquisitor laughs.

    “Finish him quickly, I have an Exterminatus to attend to.” He starts heading toward an exit.

    The Grey Knight terminators raise their weapons, including the Brother-captain in the center.

    [ ] Attempt to talk them down and enlist their help

    [ ] Fight them off quickly and then deal with the Inquisitor

    [ ] Let the others deal with the Knights, go after the Inquisitor
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:16 No.17436033
    rolled 4 = 4

    "It is the manifest will of the Emperor. Stand down, Inquisitor, and call off the Exterminatus, as I, Commissar Max Decarus, am clearly no longer down there."
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:17 No.17436043
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:17 No.17436045
    [X] Attempt to talk them down and enlist their help

    "We're on a mission from God...-Emperor."
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:18 No.17436046
    talk them down

    >this dumpass who rolled, and rolled shitty
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:18 No.17436051
    [x ] Attempt to talk them down and enlist their help
    There's no way we could survive fucking Grey Knights
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:18 No.17436055
    talk to them
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:18 No.17436056
    Try to talk them down.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:18 No.17436057
         File1325809127.jpg-(376 KB, 1522x1858, DARKHAMMER.jpg)
    376 KB
    If he isn't i will be VERY disappointed if it isn't
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:19 No.17436069
    We can't have any casualties, and if Khalid only wins, all we do is one so the best way out is to talk.
    [x] Attempt to talk them down and enlist their help
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)19:20 No.17436071
    [X] Attempt to talk them down and enlist their help

    The inquisitor is now voiced by Tony Jay
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:20 No.17436074
         File1325809226.png-(39 KB, 508x545, 1315597543668.png)
    39 KB
    Lets talk. We can work this out.
    >> The Amazing Spider-Man 01/05/12(Thu)19:21 No.17436086
         File1325809300.jpg-(25 KB, 367x400, badges.jpg)
    25 KB
    Fight them off quickly and then deal with the Inquisitor
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:24 No.17436114
    rolled 6 = 6

    Roll for talking
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:24 No.17436117
    [ ] Let the others deal with the Knights, go after the Inquisitor

    Show that fool of an Inquisitor the power of our pimp hand!
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:26 No.17436128
    >People rolling for max trolling
    >clearly papa in disquise
    >I'm onto you I see through your guise
    >Rape trains a commin we in for a suprise.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:27 No.17436145
    Talk it out with them.

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:27 No.17436146
    rolled 1 = 1

    Hopping for high speech Nat.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:28 No.17436153
         File1325809716.jpg-(11 KB, 211x153, 1276051604838.jpg)
    11 KB
    >1d1 in the email field
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:28 No.17436156
         File1325809737.jpg-(56 KB, 320x163, 1314829149384.jpg)
    56 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:29 No.17436161
         File1325809754.jpg-(5 KB, 202x222, 4.jpg)
    5 KB
    papa didn't ask for roll
    but you rolled
    now wesa gonna get trolled
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:29 No.17436163
    why does that even ryhme in my head... and how?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:29 No.17436166


    >> OD'ing on HERESY 01/05/12(Thu)19:29 No.17436167
    [ ] talk them down
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:30 No.17436172
         File1325809814.png-(63 KB, 510x545, gloriouspartridges.png)
    63 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:30 No.17436175
    rolled 16 = 16

    "Y'all Grey Knights know how the Big E is keeping things in the warp in check like a baws, well he told me in some freaky warp vision there's a new problem besides Chaos and he told me how the whole galaxy's going to be needed to stop it. All he was able to tell me was it doesn't have breaks, amirite Mr Vindicare?"

    [X] Attempt to talk them down and enlist their help

    Rolling for bullshit skills
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:31 No.17436183
    [X] Talk to the brainless marysues, good idea sandwich!
    >> The Amazingly Upset Spider-Man 01/05/12(Thu)19:31 No.17436190
         File1325809909.png-(178 KB, 480x360, getout2.png)
    178 KB
    rolled 4 = 4

    spidey is not pleased
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:31 No.17436192
    >People rolling when Papa doesn't ask for rolls.

    That isn't how this works you fucknuggets.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:32 No.17436198
    Be gentile papa, please.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:33 No.17436201
    wait guys, if Ailia's brother is Fap'Tau... that means... she must be... Schlick'Tau!

    >this is relevant to my interests
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:33 No.17436205
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)19:34 No.17436214
         File1325810045.jpg-(132 KB, 299x452, dr__hax_obama_poster_by_xxjm94(...).jpg)
    132 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:36 No.17436238
    [x] DO WE HAVE ANY BEARLEAVES LEFT!?!??!?!?!?!
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)19:36 No.17436239
    “Hey guys, I need you to listen up for a minute here.” You start.

    The Knights point their weapons at you, they don’t look like they want to talk…

    “I’m on a divine mission from the Emperor himself!” You shout, hoping they will listen to you.

    They don’t.

    You dive out of the way as they open up with their bolters.
    Well, so much for that plan.

    “Hold fast, brothers.” Eight steps out from cover, raising his hands. Surprisingly, the Knights stop firing, though they don’t take their weapons off of him.

    “You know me, we’ve been on this ship together the whole time.”

    “What of it? Now you consort with foul xenos and their ilk!” The Brother-captain shouts, gesturing at you and the others.

    “And he is here, look!” Eight points to you.

    “He isn’t on the planet any longer. Will you simply stand by as Darkhammer wrongly silences another planet?”

    The Grey Knights fidget at this, looking between one another.

    “I’m not here to fight, I just want to put a stop to all of this.” You add, raising your hands palm out to show that you are unarmed.

    “Your orders, Darkhammer?” The Captain asks.

    “Inquisitor?” He turns around.

    Darkhammer is gone.

    “Shit, he’s going to do it!” You shout, breaking into a sprint.
    The Knights let you pass through them, but stand firm and block the others from joining you.

    “Darkhammer wouldn’t have trouble dispatching one lowly heretic. We will let him decide his fate, but you may not join him.”

    The Tau commander nods.

    “We aren’t here to fight, we shall let them figure this out.”
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:37 No.17436250
    [ ] talk then out of it

    we still have hat-chan, and a vindicare. plus we can call on the SoB AND a techpriestess to vouch for out "nonhereticalness".
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:39 No.17436278
         File1325810378.gif-(1006 KB, 260x187, 1324873083664.gif)
    1006 KB
    oshi- darkhammer!
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:41 No.17436301
    Isn't Darkhammer a declared traitor?
    Why does he have Grey Knights
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:42 No.17436318
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:42 No.17436320
    Man, if there is someone who can equal Max on Manliness it's DARKHAMMER.
    Just run before he goes all trigger happy on our homeland
    >Darkhammer wrongly silences another planet?
    Bullshit, we all know DARKHAMMER was in the right
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)19:44 No.17436342
    You run into the dark lit room, noticing the Inquisitor standing over a control console.

    “Stop right there criminal scum!” You shout at him.

    With a cackling laugh, Darkhammer turns to face you.

    “The little heretic comes to try to stop me, how quaint.”

    “I’m not going to let you do this.” You clench your fist menacingly.

    “Hmph, as though you could stop me.” He draws out his hammer, which has an inscription on the side that reads “Property of Dark “The sledge” hammer.”

    “I can and I will. I have friends down there that don’t even know this is happening, and by the Emprah himself I won’t let them die.”

    Darkhammer grins malevolently.

    “Well then, let us see who it is that the Emperor truly blesses.”


    You hold up your hand, revealing your secret weapon.

    “Those aren’t…”

    “Oh, but they are.”

    You crunch down on the leaves, grinning.

    You can feel the bear overtaking you, it is a good RAAAARRGHGGHGH!!!

    Darkhammer glares at you, reaching into one of his own pockets.

    “Then we shall let the leaves decide our fate.”

    1d20 for bearfight
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:45 No.17436353
    Who is Darkhammer?

    >Captcha: rnalidi citizen.

    Is he a citizen of rnalidi? Is that heresy?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:46 No.17436360
    rolled 8 = 8

    >Darkhammer glares at you, reaching into one of his own pockets.

    >“Then we shall let the leaves decide our fate.”

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:47 No.17436372
    Puritan Inquisitor that /tg/ went all gaga on him.
    Because his name is DARKHAMMER
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:47 No.17436373
    rolled 11 = 11

    Cmooon Ron Burgundy
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:47 No.17436374
    rolled 18 = 18

    Fuck yeah! Neck Bear!
    >> The Amazing Spider-Man 01/05/12(Thu)19:47 No.17436375
         File1325810833.png-(160 KB, 480x360, hammered.png)
    160 KB
    rolled 8 = 8

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:47 No.17436377
         File1325810838.jpg-(35 KB, 493x387, 1325124524173.jpg)
    35 KB

    Why do I even read these threads?
    Oh, wait, that's why. Silly me, I almost forgot.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:47 No.17436383
         File1325810853.png-(131 KB, 721x406, attack.png)
    131 KB
    rolled 5 = 5

    oh fuck! its on
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:47 No.17436386
    >we pull out crazy drugs
    >aww yeah its go time
    >inquisitor pulls out his own
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:47 No.17436388
    rolled 16 = 16

    Bear Fight!
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:48 No.17436392
    rolled 9 = 9


    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:48 No.17436393
    rolled 13 = 13

    Dice gods this is what the Emprah wants, we need the harem, a harem cannot be with only one girl and three guys so please if I my try to plead one nat 20 is all that I need.
    >> The Rerolling Spider-Man 01/05/12(Thu)19:48 No.17436395
         File1325810909.jpg-(57 KB, 520x378, 131756810917.jpg)
    57 KB
    rolled 10 = 10

    >> OP 01/05/12(Thu)19:48 No.17436403
    rolled 14 = 14

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:49 No.17436407
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:49 No.17436410
    rolled 7 = 7


    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:49 No.17436412
         File1325810976.gif-(1.46 MB, 640x480, 1325655704722.gif)
    1.46 MB
    rolled 10 = 10

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:50 No.17436416
    rolled 15 = 15

    rolling for nat1
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:50 No.17436422
    rolled 10 = 10

    Emprah guide my RRAAAARGHGHGHHH
    >> dice+1d20 Spider-Man 01/05/12(Thu)19:51 No.17436423
         File1325811063.png-(173 KB, 500x372, 1303427777386.png)
    173 KB
    rolled 1 = 1

    i am improving...
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:51 No.17436425
    rolled 14 = 14

    Dice gods I'm pleadin for us to continue the story
    If you keep me low this shit will get gory
    All that I ask is that you please give us glory
    leaves in mouth honey on my mind
    that's right bitches it's muthafuckin' bear time!
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:51 No.17436432
    rolled 19 = 19

    I can see that
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)19:51 No.17436435
    rolled 3 = 3

    We bears now!
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:51 No.17436440

    Never roll again.


    >> EMPEROR DAMMIT Spider-Man 01/05/12(Thu)19:52 No.17436447
         File1325811139.png-(71 KB, 281x211, Spideywhy.png)
    71 KB
    rolled 19 = 19

    ok ill stop
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:54 No.17436465
    rolled 1 = 1

    two 19 shall balance a 1
    >> NATURAL ONE LEAVES 01/05/12(Thu)19:54 No.17436468
    rolled 20 = 20

    Bear leaves don't fail me now
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:54 No.17436474
         File1325811283.jpg-(41 KB, 311x372, 1325629814602.jpg)
    41 KB
    rolled 14 = 14

    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:55 No.17436479
    Could we please stop this?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:56 No.17436491


    >> The Amazing Spider-Man 01/05/12(Thu)19:57 No.17436496
         File1325811422.jpg-(34 KB, 414x363, tumblr_lofx1rpCaa1qj41h3o1_500.jpg)
    34 KB
    rolled 13 = 13


    >rolled 19 = 19

    here there will be...RETREBUTION
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:57 No.17436500
    rolled 1 = 1

    Dice Gods just one more time
    please let us know that we are divine
    let him be beat on the floor payin for his crime
    casue we gonna stop him with all our might
    If you'll let us we'll give him a fight.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)19:57 No.17436502
    You roar at the Inquisitor bear, who roars back at you.

    You know this isn’t your territory, but you are a fierce and hungry mountain bear and you take what you want.

    Rearing up on your hind legs, you bellow a strong and loud roar, you will be the victor among bears this day.

    Wasting no time, the Inquisitor bear charges at you, gnashing his yellow teeth and raising a paw ending in nasty black claws.

    He gets the first strike in, but you were ready for it and shrug off the blow.

    With a grunt you throw him back and strike out with your own claws, knocking him in the head.

    “…What exactly am I watching here?” Ailia comments as she stands at the railing.

    “I’ll admit, I don’t know.” The Brother-captain shrugs.

    They watch as you and Darkhammer circle each other, both of you drooling madly and taking turns slapping the other.

    “Is this even a fight? Who’s winning?” Eight scratches the back of his head.

    You see an opening and pounce, knocking the other bear to the ground.

    He lashes out again with his paws, but you shove them aside as you bear down on him. He is defenseless to stop you as you repeatedly strike him in the head.

    Suddenly, both of you stop completely, raising your noses to the air.

    Sniffing around, you confirm the scent.

    Both of you go bounding off into the forest, heading toward the river.

    After all, the river is full of delicious salmon.
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)19:58 No.17436512
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)19:58 No.17436516
    I'm so sorry I wont roll again.
    Just know that the dice gods either don't give a shit, or I can't bring glory, also I'm done with the rapin game.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:00 No.17436525
         File1325811603.gif-(8 KB, 430x304, 1325035058322.gif)
    8 KB

    >bear down on him
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)20:00 No.17436527
         File1325811614.jpg-(56 KB, 695x682, 1312818240726[1].jpg)
    56 KB
    >> OD'ing on HERESY 01/05/12(Thu)20:02 No.17436548
    >bear down on him
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:02 No.17436549
         File1325811739.jpg-(11 KB, 251x227, 1322513262853.jpg)
    11 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:03 No.17436555
         File1325811823.jpg-(33 KB, 331x319, tearsofjoy.jpg)
    33 KB
    I can't stop laughing. This is gold. Solid gold.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:03 No.17436557
    I haven't laughed so hard in ages. I love you papa N
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:03 No.17436559
         File1325811837.gif-(1.77 MB, 300x174, 1325040423750.gif)
    1.77 MB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:05 No.17436564
         File1325811911.jpg-(396 KB, 1087x1600, 1324085161835.jpg)
    396 KB
    Great success!
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)20:05 No.17436569
         File1325811944.jpg-(49 KB, 500x400, 1307885059152[1].jpg)
    49 KB
    >> Natural TWENTY bear leaves! 01/05/12(Thu)20:08 No.17436597
    rolled 18 = 18

    this obviously calls for
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)20:09 No.17436613
    Suddenly, your arch enemy.

    Ron Burgundy.

    Both you and the Inquisitor roar at the newcomer, who is busying himself eating the salmon you came here for.

    The ensuing fight continues for seven long years of battle and hardship. You and the Inquisitor bear the brunt of the harsh winters as you continue your fight against Burgundy, who seems nigh unstoppable.

    After landing a bear punch that ends the known universe, you finally come to, groggily.

    It feels like you’ve been slamming your head into ceremite, and what is this in your mouth? Swedish fish?

    “Ugh…” Groans Darkhammer as he sits up, rubbing his temples.

    “Fucking bear leaves man.” You groan along with him as you help him to his feet.

    “Coffee... I... I need some coffee.” He mumbles.

    “Are… are you guys all right now? That was pretty intense…” Ailia asks as she looks you over for injuries.

    “Uhh… What exactly did we do?”

    “Well…” Ailia looks to the others for help.

    “Basically you guys slapped each other’s shit for five minutes before lumbering off into this other room where you attacked a table for about twenty minutes. I think the table actually won.” Eight finishes for her.

    “Works for me, care to call it a truce?” You ask Darkhammer, who is busy searching for a mug.

    “Yeah, whatever. I’m not sticking around orbiting this planet, I’ve got to go dick over Valeria. This was kind of just a vacation.”

    “Huzzah. Victory.” You mumble as Ailia helps you down onto a couch.

    You drag her down along with you and rest your head on her massive love pillows.

    Your snoring echos through the halls of the great vessel.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:10 No.17436620
    Here have my roll-less aproval.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:10 No.17436621
         File1325812235.gif-(164 KB, 450x270, f5.gif)
    164 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:11 No.17436631
    Papa-N you magnificent man. You've done it again!
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)20:12 No.17436642
    We bested DoomRider in single combat, and managed to lose to a table while teamed up(?) with an inquistor..........
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)20:13 No.17436648
    Anyways, I've got to call the main story for tonight. Taking my girl to go watch the original trilogy on blu-ray at a friends because she's never seen it and it kills me any time I make a sweet star wars reference and she doesn't get it.

    Also I haven't eaten in like two days so its food time.

    I'll update the twitter as soon as I know when the next thread will be, but I don't know yet.

    I'll stick around for a while on my droid as usual.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:13 No.17436652
    Ring up Doomrider / EMPRAH and ask if he can give us a ride down to the surface.

    Right there.

    Right in front of the Grey Knights.
    >> daemon crown 01/05/12(Thu)20:14 No.17436658
    What are you?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:14 No.17436662
    She will hate it Papa N.
    it will be painful
    >> The Amazing Spider-Man 01/05/12(Thu)20:15 No.17436670
         File1325812504.png-(134 KB, 500x320, 78543 - spiderman trixie_hat.png)
    134 KB
    rolled 1 = 1

    spider speed papa
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)20:15 No.17436671
    he said the ORIGINAL trilogy
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:15 No.17436678
    The first time always hurts.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:16 No.17436682
    Dear papa-n
    I love you are my idol. How could I get your praise?
    -please love me
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)20:16 No.17436684
    Eh, idk...

    >came home the other day
    >hear music I recognize
    >walk into room
    >left Monmusu Quest on
    >girlfriend is playing it
    >getting bad ends on purpose
    >says she likes it

    Now she's farther ahead in KS than I am.

    If she doesn't like Starwars now, I'll honestly be really surprised.
    >> oopsie Spider-Man 01/05/12(Thu)20:16 No.17436686
         File1325812607.jpg-(114 KB, 495x337, tumblr_lri03s271M1qj41h3o1_500.jpg)
    114 KB
    rolled 18 = 18

    >roles nat 1...again
    hope you can make it out the front door papa
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)20:17 No.17436697
    >inb4 tragic car accident and I die, Heretical Love never continues or finishes

    Hahaha, can you imagine?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:18 No.17436699
    OH GOD NO I MESSED UP MY LOVE LETTER TO PAPA! Bye /tg/ I'm gonna go kill my self. He obviously is too awesome for me.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:18 No.17436700
    rolled 5 = 5

    Oh Man, this was so glorious.
    I never laughed of something of the internet like i laughed right now.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:19 No.17436707
    rolled 2 = 2

    Don't ever dare dying Papa N
    >> The Amazing Spider-Man 01/05/12(Thu)20:19 No.17436709
         File1325812781.jpg-(43 KB, 500x375, tumblr_loz4mgXPj11qgfbzvo1_500.jpg)
    43 KB
    rolled 19 = 19

    rolling for papa's car brakes
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)20:19 No.17436710

    Nurgle loves all his children.

    >but seriously, I have a lot of fun writing this and I'm happy when everyone else is enjoying the ride, though I have to troll you a bit along the way its out of love
    >> The Amazing Spider-Man 01/05/12(Thu)20:21 No.17436726
         File1325812880.png-(201 KB, 480x360, conflict.png)
    201 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:22 No.17436732

    Holy fuck Papa, don't even leave your house. I wouldn't even risk getting out of your chair.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:22 No.17436740
    And we all appreciate it, though I now need to ask what KS is as it is being mentioned at the same time as monmusu quest.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:25 No.17436769
    Never mind, Katawa Shoujo.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:26 No.17436777
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)20:26 No.17436784
    Katawa Shoujo
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:29 No.17436809
    Does all that mean you'll be introducing her to your writing of heretical love?
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:29 No.17436814
    >papa responds to my post
    > speech roll nat 1 brain melts
    I just enjoy the story, plus anything I do will feel like some kids shitty artwork on the fridge of fuckin Da Vinci.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:31 No.17436833
    Well, you have to get 40k to get Heretical Love
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:32 No.17436843
         File1325813571.jpg-(81 KB, 1280x724, 660-what-in-the-emperors-name-(...).jpg)
    81 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:37 No.17436885
         File1325813841.jpg-(29 KB, 500x454, 1_the_right_to_bear_arms.thumb(...).jpg)
    29 KB
    Fear and Loathing 40k.
    In accordance with the 2nd Amendment.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)20:44 No.17436952

    I'm sure your work is better than you think. honesty mine is nothing special.

    I'll show my girl these threads if she dresses the part of my favorite girl and let's me crack off inquisitor penis jokes while I purge her.

    otherwise no.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)20:54 No.17437051
    And papa's favorite is?
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)20:57 No.17437088

    not telling :3

    Esh pulls you toward her with her massive tail, its too strong for you to escape.

    The lamia eldar licks her lips as her grip tightens around you.

    "I'm going to suck everything out of you..." She grins.

    You don't protest.

    You want this...

    She starts guiding your rock hard inquisitor toward her opening.

    "Oh Emprah...." You moan as she presses you into her.

    The tightness is astounding and surprisingly warm. Her womanhood is wet enough that she slides you in to the hilt without much effort.

    The sensation is too much.

    "Hugghhhh...." You blow your plasma load into her.

    "Hora Hora, did you cum already?"
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)21:00 No.17437125
    Enjoy ya movie papa if you wanna keep the bizaro up I'm a monitor this thread for a bit.
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)21:06 No.17437179
         File1325815575.jpg-(87 KB, 475x633, Nagasister_of_battle[1].jpg)
    87 KB
    somehow, this feels relivant.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)21:06 No.17437181

    I love you so much
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)21:07 No.17437187
    Just an idea, why doesn't Max ask Mika to pimp out the bike?
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/05/12(Thu)21:11 No.17437239
    "Wait Esh I..."

    But she doesn't wait, showing you no mercy as she thrusts you into her.

    You can't help it, still so sensitive.

    Your hips drive themselves forward on their own as you bury yourself as deep as you can and ejaculate.

    "Ahhh... Again already?"

    Esh laughs again, as your body goes limp.

    "Don't think its over yet, you have to get me off before I let you go."

    She starts moving you again, you are powerless to escape her grip.
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/05/12(Thu)21:20 No.17437337
         File1325816436.jpg-(94 KB, 772x599, 772px-Daemonette_defiler[1].jpg)
    94 KB
    at some point we need to encounter one of these.
    >> Anonymous 01/05/12(Thu)22:06 No.17437765
         File1325819193.jpg-(92 KB, 694x642, 1325067509352.jpg)
    92 KB
    goodnight papa.
    >> Cidolfas Orlandu, aka Thunder God Cid !gYjELVKQn6 01/05/12(Thu)23:40 No.17438710
    >Make one post, go out for dinner and Sherlock Holmes 2
    >come back
    >"All right, let's fire this up and see what I mis-"

    This is the most awesome quest on /tg/ right now.

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