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    38 KB EVO Quest X Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 01/06/12(Fri)20:25 No.17447583  
    (Previous threads: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=EVO%20quest)

    You are not quite sure what you are. The sunfangs call you the Guardian of the Earth and their deity, but you know that you are no god.

    You started out as an overgrown cave salamander. Unlike most other creatures, though, you are still evolving, changing, and mutating, and can actually tap into the power of 1) THE MYSTERIOUS TIME STREAM, and 2) crystals that, when ingested, make you stronger, but kill everything else.

    Currently, you've received word that Bolbox, a malignant entity claiming to be a god, is coming to wipe you and your adopted people off the face of the planet. Also, a bunch of horrific metal boxes with strange weapons has tried to murder you, having emerged from a strange portal that is, as of now, taunting the hell out of you.

    And you're not even sure you want to touch the whole "horrifying shadow" issue with an eleven foot pole.
    >> Anonymous 01/06/12(Fri)20:26 No.17447597
    rolled 21 = 21

    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 01/06/12(Fri)20:28 No.17447612
         File1325899681.jpg-(626 KB, 3000x2368, 1319935549654.jpg)
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    - Unless stated otherwise, decisions are made with d40 rolls.
    - Evolutions/mutations only take occur when:
    Calming Aura, Lvl. 5
    > Can fire in pulses; stuns.
    Biomancy, Lvl. 7
    > Can alter any living bio-organic material. Also, plasma beams.
    > Three permanent changes to any living organism before explosion.
    Necromancy, Lvl. 4
    > Dominion over 3 undead at a time.
    > 1) Aazz, 2) Bearex, 3) Cerebus
    Shapeshifting/Body Sculpting, Lvl. 2
    > Transformation into last creature eaten/parasited.
    Shadow Travel Lvl. 3
    > Instantaneous teleportation through shadows. Medium range.
    Divination Lvl. 2
    > Limited scrying, requires some reflective surface available.
    - 8 Eyes
    - Parasitic Mouth Hooks +3 (+PROJECTILE PARASITES, 2 at once)
    - Jaw Strength +1
    - Sticky Rope Tongue
    - Brain +3
    - Draconic Wings Lvl. 4
    - Muscle Mass +3 (4.5 ft)
    - Whiplash Tail
    - Titanium Web Spinners OF LIFE
    - Rending Claws
    - Retractable Limbs (+2 Strength)
    - 6 Limbs
    - Mantis Shrimp Punches
    - Electric Pulse, Minor
    Starfall; Mouth Laser; Geomancy
    1 Yellow; 1 Red; 1 Blue
    Aazz: Former Chieftain, current wraith. Knows of the old ways.
    >Upgrade: KING OF CLUBS
    Bearex: T-Rex skull with bear skull. Your champion.
    >Upgrade: Armor+1
    Cerebus: Wolf skeleton.
    >Shoots bees from shoulder-mounted web cannons.
    >Piloted by tiny lizard skeletons.
    Razz: Leafdancer. Your Godspoken.
    Seventeen: Forgeslug.
    >Upgrade: Living Artillery/Metalsmith Repair
    >No longer bonkers
    Steelbark: Token Woodfolk. Ex-military badass. Knows of the old ways.
    >Upgrade: Biomancy'd.
    >> Anonymous 01/06/12(Fri)20:29 No.17447625
    rolled 5 = 5

    Hey, we calmed 17 down in that last thread right? And no real results on the Divination on the fire?
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 01/06/12(Fri)20:37 No.17447718
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    A'RIGHT, so there you were, minding your own fucking business with your bros, see? Then, all of a sudden, without any provocation, BAM! Metal boxes all over the place, fucking your shit up. They seemed to come from the ass end of nowhere, firing their newfangled heat beams and metal pellets. Your sunfangs took a hit, your woodfolk went a-wailing, and you spent all of last update making sure your poor little forgeslug didn't go goddamn bonkers, THAT was how fucking traumatized the poor guy was.

    But in the end, you fucked up those metal boxes, and you got a brief breather.

    Well, it seems that they'd poured out of the portal stashed away in the crystal-favored woodfolk's hut, and that same portal is now spinning and glowing red and has written a big old taunt for yours truly. It's like who or whatever's behind this doesn't think you have the balls to face it and extract a little bit of revenge for what those boxes DID to you and your gang.

    Now, you're not sure what's waiting on the other side of the portal; the last time you were there, there was some kind of big flat metal disc sticking out of the ground, real peaceful-like. That's probably not the case now.

    You've got your powers, your Notable Minions, and your fightin' Sunfangs, all ready to go. Now... you want to be prepared for what awaits on the other side.

    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 01/06/12(Fri)20:40 No.17447751
    Yup, Seventeen's more or less recovered, though you can choose to check on him if you want.

    Also, Divination doesn't seem to work on flames (yet), just water or anything that can reflect.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 01/06/12(Fri)21:02 No.17448025
    >> Anonymous 01/06/12(Fri)21:13 No.17448188
    Ignore the taunts for now. Attacking them would be very, very foolish, given that we know nothing about them. Too risky.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 01/06/12(Fri)21:22 No.17448303

    You ponder your current situation for a moment. You have... absolutely no intel on what awaits on the other side of the portal, so rushing in and attacking them is probably not the best of ideas.

    ... I mean, you really WANT to, since you've had it up to here with "Come At Me If You Dare" taunts, but it's the ugly truth.

    As you sit near Sunfang Meteor and ponder things for a moment, the sunfangs' ghostly chieftain rises up out of the ground next to you, his arms crossed over his phantasmal chest. "We gotta do something about that portal," Aazz rumbles. "Half the guys don't know what the fuck's gonna happen next, and the other half are scared shitless of those fucking metal boxes.

    "Chosen One, send me out to take a look," Aazz continues, baring his teeth in a wide grin. "Whatever those boxes are, they couldn't touch a scale on my fuckin' body, so I'd make the best scout, eh? Damn straight!"

    Steelbark, your woodfolk adviser(?), jumps in. "... we might not have much time," he cautions. "My lord, perhaps it would be best to spend this time preparing to move. Bolbox approaches, and with luck, we will be leaving this place behind, anyway."

    "And leave our goddamn backs unprotected!?" Aazz snaps back, incredulous. "Look, do we really want Bolbox AND metal boxes coming back to bite holes in our asses!?"

    >> Anonymous 01/06/12(Fri)21:58 No.17448720
    rolled 16 = 16



    Conundrum time. I would like to see the civies get moved immediately. The only question is what we are sending with them. We can't move the meteor without our biomancy, so it either has to stay or we have to pack everyone into it and haul ass outta dodge.

    To Aazz: Bleep (Hold up a second. This is a trap and whatever is going in that portal is gone, regardless of it's status in the physical plane. Rendering a soul into pieces is completely possible, unless you have forgotten about the old Woodelf king."

    Biomance up a drone and send it through the portal. Ideally, we would be able to see what it sees through either divination or bad ass bio cameras.
    >> Anonymous 01/06/12(Fri)22:03 No.17448771
    rolled 29 = 29


    Also, tell Steelbark to get all the civilians ready to move immediately. Tell Aazz to gather up a small force of our best warriors to stay with us, while the rest prepare to move and protect the non combatants. We are not making a move yet, but we need everyone ready to go once we make the decision about the portal.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 01/06/12(Fri)22:17 No.17448893

    You close your eyes and ignore your bickering advisers for a moment. Honestly, why can't you have your cake and eat it, too?


    Aazz and Steelbark straighten up immediately; the latter move off immediately to do your bidding, while the former looks mildly grumpy- but grudgingly approving. "You're the boss. I'll get the boys together, just you wait."

    You ignore the bustle of civilians all around you and begin concentrating; after a moment, a small slime made of life force bubbles into existence, a small eye suspended within its body, and you send it roiling towards the portal. It disappears immediately, and you hustle to a puddle of water to watch its progress.

    Your seeing-eye blob arrives in that small mountaintop clearing unscathed; as before, you see the large, flat metal building sticking out of the ground at an angle. Unlike your previous visit, there's a rectangular entrance hole cut into the underside of the thing, and two metal boxes flanking it.

    Your blob is still alive, and the boxes don't seem to notice it yet.

    >> Anonymous 01/06/12(Fri)22:23 No.17448953
    Move it through the entryway since they seem to have not seen it yet.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 01/06/12(Fri)22:28 No.17448995
    You command the blob to do so. Once the blob passes into a predetermined range, though, the metal boxes' lids pop open and lasers turn the blob into a greasy paste.

    ... perhaps that could have gone better.

    Regardless, Aazz tromps up behind you, followed by ten sunfang spearmen; five are armored shieldbearers, while the other five are lightly-armored dragoon units. The ghostly chieftain salutes.

    "We're ready to move out! Steelbark's got the civvies mostly rounded up; a few more minutes'll see the dumb fuckers all set to move either way. Just give the word."

    >> Anonymous 01/06/12(Fri)22:30 No.17449008
    rolled 19 = 19


    Move the bio-drone closer to the opening. Make sure to move slowly and be ready to hide if the boxes start activating/notice it. If it is looking like it won't be able to sneak past, we can create a quick "distraction" for it. Bio-mance up a another drone, but have it be filled with some thing flammable. Have it sneak through the portal and explode somewhere to draw out the forces so the recon blob can go it. Should help to see what we are dealing with. Hell, if we end up making one of the walking bombs, make a small fleet of them while we are at it. One acts as a distraction while the rest can detonate when the forces are drawn out.

    Sound good?
    >> Anonymous 01/06/12(Fri)22:44 No.17449131
    Wait until the civilians are on the move, then set off through the portal!
    >> Anonymous 01/06/12(Fri)23:22 No.17449474

    So...how is the scouting/fleeing going?
    >> Anonymous 01/06/12(Fri)23:45 No.17449731
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    rolled 40 = 40


    Alright. Let's get out of here. Any chance of crunching the UFO underneath us as we flee? Or is that the wrong direction? And then again, we might need whatever's in there. And the meteor may just ramp off it like the General Lee in the Dukes of Hazard.

    ... Y'know what, let's do the latter. To, uh, expedite our travels. Yeah, that's it.
    >> Anonymous 01/06/12(Fri)23:49 No.17449775
    ... A natural 40 to roll a city-state-meteor up a crashed space ship of a precursor civilization and off it, through the air, flying over the Earth, in imitation of the Duke Boys, on a lark.

    >> Anonymous 01/06/12(Fri)23:52 No.17449798
    rolled 23 = 23


    Good lord. I...yeah. It is official. Natural 40 on some crazy ass suggestion. QUEST IS AFOOT
    >> Anonymous 01/06/12(Fri)23:55 No.17449833
    Now we must wait for our benevolent Blorp overlord to return; if you look at the post numbers, he's been gone for some time.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/12(Sat)00:00 No.17449902
         File1325912451.jpg-(377 KB, 1185x2327, ADVENTURES OF GLORP AND RANDOM(...).jpg)
    377 KB
    rolled 8 = 8


    I guess I could story time the comics while wait... That should take up, like, 2 minutes (that's what she said).
    >> Anonymous 01/07/12(Sat)00:02 No.17449915
         File1325912531.jpg-(371 KB, 1320x2300, ADVENTURES OF GLORP AND RANDOM(...).jpg)
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    rolled 39 = 39

    Part two, electric boogaloo!
    >> Anonymous 01/07/12(Sat)00:04 No.17449946
         File1325912650.jpg-(498 KB, 1524x2300, ADVENTURES OF GLORP AND RANDOM(...).jpg)
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    rolled 23 = 23

    Oh, those two... What hijinks will they get up to next? Find out when the drawfag finally gets off his ass to finish the 4th one (seriously, it is basically done)!
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 01/07/12(Sat)00:10 No.17449999
    You're not entirely sure that the metal disc is IN the right direction. In fact, you're quite certain that it's sitting on TOP of the mountain.

    ... seriously, though, has that ever stopped you before?


    Aazz blinks in surprise, but he doesn't dispute your orders. "EVERYONE! Back into the fuckin' Meteor! We're leaving this place, got it?" As his soldiers troop off, he turns back and gives you a bawdy wink. "Got somethin' up your sleeve, eh?"

    Oh, do you EVER.

    Once everyone is safely aboard Sunfang Meteor, you flit atop of the giant hunk of space rock and begin channeling your Biomancy. This is going to be a BIG one, and you feel strange connections sparking through your mind. You need this Meteor to move fast, to be mobile... and to kick ass. You're going to need to figure out how to do so.

    And then, you can put your plan into action.

    >ROLL! 1d40
    >> Anonymous 01/07/12(Sat)00:14 No.17450043
    rolled 24 = 24

    What form of locomotion, you ask? Ha ha. Ha ha ha. HA. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

    >> Nothingmancer 01/07/12(Sat)00:15 No.17450052
    Treetrunk legs. Eight of them.
    >> Nothingmancer 01/07/12(Sat)00:16 No.17450058
    rolled 4 = 4

    Forgot my roll.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/12(Sat)00:22 No.17450124
    rolled 14 = 14



    Seriously though, create massive balloons filled with some lighter-than-air gas (NON-FLAMMABLE). Enough to get us neutrally buoyant, anyway (fuck you physics, I do what I want). Add organic thrusters to outside. Flying fortress, here we come! Also, BEST TRAP EVER.

    >"Oh noes, you have cornered me under my MASSIVE FLYING CITY and my armies have fled. What ever shall I DO!"
    >"Pop the party balloons boys"
    >Shadow teleport to safety. LIKE A BOSS!
    >Rock fall, bad guys die.
    >> Nothingmancer 01/07/12(Sat)00:29 No.17450197
    rolled 34 = 34

    How about huge-ass wings of some kind?
    >> Anonymous 01/07/12(Sat)00:30 No.17450213
    rolled 7 = 7


    Not bad, not bad. Us surfing on a meteor is a choice way to travel. But we can do better. Let's biomance up some MOTHER FUCKING PLASMA JETS and attach them to the rear. Also, cause everything we are using as a wave to produce Hagfish slime. For the boost in speed due to astrolube.

    >> Anonymous 01/07/12(Sat)00:30 No.17450214
    rolled 13 = 13

    >sticking wings on a meteor
    >it gets a 34
    ... Well, that's that, folks, apparently we're making this rock fly like a bird.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/12(Sat)00:32 No.17450240
    rolled 7 = 7


    Welp. Time to cue up some Lynyrd Skynyrd.

    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 01/07/12(Sat)00:33 No.17450245
    Stopping the voting!

    ... gods be good, I am using two of these replies.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 01/07/12(Sat)00:36 No.17450284
    Ho ho ho, what a silly question that was.

    Why stop at one form of locomotion... when you can have ALL of them? You focus your energy into the vines, pouring as much as you got into them- and then, you leave it there to cycle, like the illegitimate child of a biomass vacuum cleaner and a perpetual motion machine.

    Immediately, Sunfang Meteor shudders, shakes, and then- with a tortured groan, it starts to move.

    From your perch, you see the earth beneath the meteor begin to tremble, before it ROILS, almost as if it's being pulled into the vines themselves. You hear a cacophony of sound as trees are sucked underneath the Meteor, functioning as makeshift tank treads that are consumed by your Biomancy energies, and are spat out behind Sunfang Meteor.

    A too-slow deer is grappled by a small, searching vine, and is immediately moved to the front of the meteor; within minutes, a small herd of disparate animals are lashed to the meteor, helping to pull it along... and that herd is growing.

    Your Meteor is surfing, baby.

    But you're not done yet.

    Some of the biomatter isn't spat out by your Biomancy tank treads; instead, they're shifted to th sides of Sunfang Meteor, growing outwards into two large... THINGS. Treebark serves as their bones, vines are their muscle, and leaves are their feathers.

    Sunfang Meteor doesn't slow to a stop, no. With the help of your power, it hops once, the wings flapping impossibly.

    It hops twice, cresting over a small hill. And...

    It hops thrice, crushing the metal disc underneath its rocky bottom. You THINK you hear a metallic scream of rage, but you aren't sure. And with THAT...

    You are motherfucking airborne, and the world spreads out beneath you.

    It is your oyster.

    >> Nothingmancer 01/07/12(Sat)00:37 No.17450291
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    >> Anonymous 01/07/12(Sat)00:40 No.17450317
    What was in the metal disc again?
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 01/07/12(Sat)00:40 No.17450319
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    >readers get a 40 and reach a decision
    >that decision is goddamn ridiculous

    ... yeah, I think... EVO Quest is back.

    ANYWAY, I'm going to have to do a bit more planning for next time- and that next time will be, with any luck, next Thursday night at 8 pm EST, barring any unforeseen circumstances; I'll try to keep it on a schedule, so that's probably going to be about right.

    Night, folks!
    >> Anonymous 01/07/12(Sat)00:44 No.17450348
    I'm imagining us like a giant rock with tank treads, chicken wings, and a herd of animals magically pulling us through the air like Santa Claus through the power of magic.
    And by magic I mean utter terror and fucking biomancy.

    Do I have the right idea?
    >> Anonymous 01/07/12(Sat)00:45 No.17450368
         File1325915138.jpg-(526 KB, 1600x1200, YEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAWWWW.jpg)
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    rolled 24 = 24

    Welp. We just utterly fucked Bolbox's plans, went right around his obvious trap, and completely destroyed what I'm fairly certain was one of his best assets in the precursor ship. Which we accomplished by hitting it with a big rock. A rock with organic treads and wings pulled by reindeer. In addition, WE JUST ACCIDENTALLY INVENTED CATTLE HERDING FOR THE SUNFANG.

    I have but one thing to say in response to this.

    >> Anonymous 01/07/12(Sat)00:47 No.17450385
    rolled 13 = 13


    Well, see as it is now a crushed pop can, I really doubt it matters. Though the screams of rage are a very good sign. For us anyway.


    Thanks for running the quest tonight. Get some rest and see you next Thursday!

    Anything you want drawfag'd? I am tempted to do our horrible abomination-of-nature meteor, but I can do something else if you would like. Oh, and there will be a new comic by next Thursday as well.
    >> Blorp !!RkFQIQOO6xk 01/07/12(Sat)00:56 No.17450474
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    Basically, yes.

    I WAS half-expecting flying. I did not expect... Biomancy vacuum cleaner. It was too beautiful NOT to incorporate, honestly.

    ... honestly, I really, really want to see this horrific Mobile Battleship Sunfang Meteor as an image. DRAWFAGGING IS ALWAYS APPRECIATED
    >> Nothingmancer 01/07/12(Sat)00:57 No.17450496
    rolled 19 = 19

    >> Anonymous 01/07/12(Sat)01:00 No.17450523
    rolled 26 = 26


    SO IT SHALL BE. I'll have our abomination/meteor done up for the next thread. May or may not be colored. It will be a surprise (read: how much time I have between now and then).
    >> Anonymous 01/07/12(Sat)05:20 No.17452282
    Glad to see you back op missed the last thread but will see you next week

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