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  • File : 1326434677.jpg-(119 KB, 534x564, 1316910107115.jpg)
    119 KB Making children's book(s) Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:04 No.17523320  
    /tg/ I'm interested in writing and doing art for some kids books, but I wanted something different. Something, /tg/ related.

    I turn to you. For those of you with children, or if you had children, what /tg/ related storybook would you read with your young'en? I am looking to self publish, so I can't do the Littlest Angry Marine, etc.

    I was thinking of things like:
    >the good hearted Paladin
    >bravest space pirate
    >milly the Mage
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:34 No.17523735
    Polite bump

    Let's make some /tg/ related books for young children
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 01/13/12(Fri)01:36 No.17523745
    Dawn of War II by C.S. Goto
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:38 No.17523764
    Make those book have a lesson, OP.
    For example, the paladin has to choose between two bad options, but says, "wait just a fucking minute here" and comes up with a third option.
    The space pirate betrays his friends for sweet space gold, and is partying it up, when he thinks, "oh man, X would get a kick out of this", but he turns around and remembers, "Oh yeah, I betrayed X". And he keeps thinking about how much his friends would enjoy this or that, and thinking about all the fun times they had... and eventually spends all of the loot on a space ship to rescue them with.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:38 No.17523771
    When I was a small kid I was enamored with archers like Robin Hood. I would draw pictures of guys based on images of medieval archers I saw, wearing all kinds of shit from the typical robin hood getup to stuff you'd see in the Bourdeaux Tapestry.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:40 No.17523789
    Milly was a mage. The best little mage her village had ever seen. She knew how to talk to animals, she could change the weather, and she could even read people's future if she tried really hard! One day, a man in black came into town and called Milly a witch in front of her friends. He said mean, awful things that made Milly want to cry. Worse, all her friends started to call her a witch too! Finally, Milly couldn't take it and ran away from home leaving behind her books, her magic wand and even her cat Boots! Milly wandered for days and days and became very lost, but when she was about to give up and cry she heard a voice on the wind! "Milly, we haven't forgotten you. Follow us, and we'll guide you somewhere safe!"
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:41 No.17523799
    I had this idea for a kids book, where this family gets together because the grandparent passes away. All the adults are arguing all the time over the inheritance, except the uncle whom the big house they are meeting in belongs to.

    So this allows for the kids to do what kids do. They are all afraid of the uncle however, because what the adults can't see is that he is a giant rat. The main character, one of the daughters, notices strange things about the house, and the more she explores, the more the lines between reality and the uncle's own corrupted delusional realm blur. She has to overcome it to save him.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:42 No.17523807
    You sir have my utmost attention. I love it.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:43 No.17523825

    Milly was scared of the voice because it sounded a lot like her. The weather was growing colder, however, and without her magic wand she couldn't change the weather to be warmer. Shivering, she followed the wind and it guided her to a small cottage in the woods. There was firewood stacked outside, and inside she found food and a warm cloak. There were hunting trophies on the walls, but they hadn't been touched in a long, long time. Warm, and with a full belly, she lay down and was almost asleep when she heard a voice speak to her from the fire! "Milly, the man in black is doing horrible things in your village! He's turning your friends against one-another and telling them lies! What are you going to do about it?"
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:43 No.17523827
    Instead of doing something Saturday morning style, make something that's an actual good story.

    It doesn't have to be educatonal to be a good book for kids.

    I've written a couple books for my second graders which they loved, not because it had some shallow message they would relate to, but because it was about things they liked. Adventure and overcoming trouble in this case.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:44 No.17523831
    A young sexually androgynous, morally stoic hero who takes a considerably larger and more boisterous companion into a bleak and unforgiving wasteland full of scoundrels and wild beasts to find the soul of music.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:44 No.17523834
    Read Monsters and Other Childish Things OP.

    You can find it in the /rs/ part of 4chan.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:45 No.17523848
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    >Making a children's story
    >need ideas
    This story is mandatory reading.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:45 No.17523857

    Are you me?

    I had my dad reread that part in the hobbit when Bard kills Smaug over and over again when I was a kid. I thought that was the greatest thing ever.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:46 No.17523861
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    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:46 No.17523864

    The fire sounded angry, but again it sounded very much like Milly. She couldn't speak, and finally lapsed into sleep fretting about her friends back home. The miller, the baker, the seamstress. They had all been very nice to her until the man in black came. Maybe he was a mage too? Maybe he was using magic to turn her friends against her. She slept restlessly that night, and woke to the sound of chill fall rain. She gathered her things and stepped outside, and now the rain itself spoke! "Milly, are you really going to turn your back on them? They loved you, and they will again. They're still your friends, even if they can't see it." Milly finally gave into her sadness and began to cry. The rain spoke comforting words in her own voice as the droplets hid her tears.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:46 No.17523872
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    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:47 No.17523882
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    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:48 No.17523891
    The Saddest Viking
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:48 No.17523892
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    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:48 No.17523896

    If only my players had that kind of motivation.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:49 No.17523900
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    Is it normal for Captcha to not reload itself when the page refreshes?
    I have to keep doing it manually.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:50 No.17523908
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    I keep having to click twice for something to take less than thirty seconds to actually submit.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:50 No.17523916
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    I just realized how unfortunate it is these are all in .jpg
    How convert into .png?
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:51 No.17523919

    She thought carefully about what the wind, the fire and the rain said, and decided they were right. Why would she run away just because the man in black said she was bad? She wasn't bad, and she was going to show everyone in the village! She was going to save her friends! Her decision made, the rain stopped, the clouds cleared and the air warmed as she began running through the woods back home.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:51 No.17523927
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    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:52 No.17523932
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    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:52 No.17523939
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    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:53 No.17523941
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:53 No.17523943
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    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:54 No.17523952
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    I suppose it was bound to happen.

    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:54 No.17523958
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    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:55 No.17523964
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    This, OP, is how you write a children's book.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:56 No.17523972

    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:57 No.17523992
    OP here, I thank you very much. I think I may do something like that for an orc one, they're simple minded.

    I'm working on ske4tches for Milly, this shits getting intense, and I love it.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:58 No.17523999
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)01:59 No.17524007

    Milly returned to her village, and the man in black met her at the gate. "Why are you here, little witch? There is no place for you here now! Begone!" Milly only smiled. She spoke: "I haven't forgotten my friends," and the wind began to blow. The man in black grabbed at his cloak and hood, trying to keep it in place. "You've been telling my friends lies, and making them fight!" The wind grew stronger, and the temperature rose. The man in black began to sweat, still desperately clinging to his cloak. "And even though they treated me bad, they're still my friends. I won't let you bother them any more!" Thunder rolled overhead, and it began to rain. The heat, wind and rain combined became a storm which blew the man in black away.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:00 No.17524016

    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:05 No.17524066

    With the man in black gone, Milly looked to the villagers. They looked at her as though she'd never left, and welcomed her back with apologies and thanks. The man in black had done strange things to the village, and Milly could feel the difference about the land. She would have her work cut out for her, taking care of the village and her friends, but she was ready and willing. She was, after all, Milly the Mage.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:07 No.17524079
    A little boy that's basically a young DnD sorcerer in a DnD-flavored version of Home Alone.

    I'd have loved something like that as a kid.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:08 No.17524083
    How longish a book? What cognitive level of development? Are we talking preschool to early elementary grades? Or are we talking pre-teens?
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:08 No.17524088
    the loudest noise marine
    the angriest bloodthirster
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:12 No.17524116
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    You sir are fucking awesome. I'm getting all of this down and am going to begin drawing it out.

    I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted to publish these if there's interest. I think the only thing I'll do is make it rhyme.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:12 No.17524118

    Around men in blacks, never relax.
    >> Akhenaten the Frustrated 01/13/12(Fri)02:12 No.17524120
    God damn, that was so good. I'm going to read that to my future children.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:13 No.17524130
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    the man in black fled across the desert, and milly followed
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:14 No.17524135

    Hell if I know, man. I just put the words on the screen. It wasn't meant to be anything really heavy-handed. I was going to have the villain be an actual witch who wanted Milly's power for herself, but I started out with a "man" in black, so I was kind of stuck. I was also going to have the cloak get blown off to reveal it was a witch, but again, I screwed it up. As for the villagers being normal, magic.jpg. Witch was brainwashing them. Or something.

    We'll fix it in editing! No shitstorm needed.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:16 No.17524140

    Deleting my own post in that case as well.

    This is a good thread, it must remain so!
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:16 No.17524142

    For the love of Tzeench, please edit out the retarded bits and make it flow better. I'm not the best of writers at the best of times.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:16 No.17524145

    Well know I know where that Madoka hat thing originated from. It's too big to upload, but here's what I'm talking about.

    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:17 No.17524146
    Maybe the man in black / witch wanted one of Milly's books that she got as a gift? They needed Milly gone to find it
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:17 No.17524149

    You asked a question! Nothing wrong with that, I wasn't offended.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:18 No.17524164
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    >That feel when your children's book will never compare to Dinotopia
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:20 No.17524179
    OP again, thinking on this too. Has to protect his teachers place from robbers? Let's the pet chimera out, sets some scalps on fire with a flick of his finger, creates a magic wall just to mess with them.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:21 No.17524184

    Just making sure no one takes such a question and use it to go off topic for a discussion that doesn't belong in this thread.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:22 No.17524198
    If you guys really want to get hung up on using 40k, here is what I suggest:
    >Eldar for girls
    >Orkz for boyz
    The Eldar are always pretty, and always about 'thinking about others' and 'planning ahead', and of course it'll be easy to characterize them when it comes to talking about emotions, because that's the majority of their culture.
    Orkz for boyz, because da' boyz love ta' WAAAGH!!!!

    If you are good at cutesy stuff, then girls will love the Tyranids if you do them in the same style as the cute-nids; somehow non-gender creatures attract girls.

    If you want to tell a story with morals attached, use Tau or Humans.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:24 No.17524211

    Or maybe he's just an orphan kid who notices mean-looking adults skulking around a building, then decides to mess with them because they don't look like they're good people anyway.

    It'd be one of those "there's no real message here, it's just a kid have some fun and a little adventure with nobody getting seriously hurt in the end."

    He could have a wisecracking and useful rat familiar/companion.

    Mainly because if there's going to be a message in it I want it to be "rats can be fucking awesome if you give them a chance"
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:24 No.17524214
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    Thri-kreen sex ed books.

    Not everything is covered by racial memory, you know.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:25 No.17524222

    He's looking to self-publish, no Games Workshop characters allowed.

    Of course that can easily be replaced with "Elves" and "Orcs" and have the same effect.
    >> Tgdude 01/13/12(Fri)02:26 No.17524228
    The Littlest Cultist by A. Al. Hazared

    Goodnight Mi-go

    The yellow crayon by G.O.O.Hastur
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:28 No.17524250
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    >Elves For Girls
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:28 No.17524254
    Littlest Kobold
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:29 No.17524269
    Tucker's Kobolds: The Hatchling Years.
    Pranking everywhere. All images are rube-goldeberg type things.

    Hey, what about cutebolds? Those would be perfect for a children's book, and they aren't copyrighted either!
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:30 No.17524273
    Orcs rely on friends to win, Elves rely on animals and wit. Could have something there.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:31 No.17524285
    I have trouble telling withe the cutebolds, are they more canine or reptile? They appear to be big eyed dogs.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:32 No.17524298
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    I'm pretty sure they're dog-styled, but it's possible to make the reptile versions adorable, too.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:36 No.17524333
    You're asking /tg/ to help you with books?

    It's a good thing it's late at night, or else you'd be getting "The Elf Slave that Could Suck a Croquet Ball Through a Garden Hose" and something involving sex changes.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:36 No.17524334
    And don't forget, guys are all about brotherhood and stuff, and the only dream that equals the "princess" dream for girls is the "independant, awesome, beautiful woman", and also the "friend of nature" dream.

    Dog styled, but mostly androgynous.
    I think little kids will easily sympathise with the innocence and naivete of the cutebolds.
    Example: they don't know sex until their instinct tells them what it is, so it's all platonic. They noserub constantly, which is part adorable, part amusing. They always try to be nice and stay out of trouble, and don't get why the 'big folk' are always so mean.

    IT's like taking everything about kobolds and turning it on it's head, but it still works.

    God forbid someone makes a sergal kid's book.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:37 No.17524340
    Dwarf Fortress: Strike the Earth!

    From a single dwarven explorer's point of view, as he finds abandoned forts, gets chased by Named Beasts, and his misandventures with elephants, goblins and carp.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:37 No.17524345
    >Hey, what about cutebolds?

    Those are a little raunchy for children's books.

    For OP:

    A series of Dwarf Fortress-themed children's books. The kicker being that they're about different famous horribly-failed fortresses and go into really dark material for children's stories.

    Because they're not really for children, they're marketing gimmicks you can try to sell to/for Bay 12 to the neckbears who play DF. Like me.

    I would like to have a children's book style record of Boatmurdered, for instance.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:38 No.17524348
    >Dwarf Fortress: Strike the Earth!
    Could be the next Animorphs!
    And I mean that in ALL respects.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:38 No.17524350
    I remember once trying to write a storybook a few years back..

    wish I could find the illustrations, but it was about a knight trying to find his face.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:40 No.17524365

    This Anon has some good ideas.

    Also you might bring up the typical Paladin situation where one thing is "obviously" the "good" thing to do, but upon closer examination it's a mistake, to teach kids about thinking carefully before they make important decisions.

    I can't think of a good example that doesn't involve killing goblins or something, which you probably wouldn't want to put into a children's book, but you get the drift.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:40 No.17524370
    The newest hatchling.

    Snix is just a baby kobold. What will he do when he grows up? Will he make traps for adventurers? Will he armor himself to fight them? etc. keeping this and sorcerer-home alone in the back burner lol

    As far as the publishing side goes, If these end up about 30 pages or less, I can get them printed for around 5 bucks a pop. I'm already getting a booth at a convention, and now have another goal for July. I'll have Milly done and printed, and I'll try to report back every so often with pages I've done.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:41 No.17524380
    I am a castle.

    I have many towers. I have many halls.
    I have many doors. I have many walls.
    I have many windows. I have many stairs.
    I have many tables. I have many chairs.
    I have a lovely throne room, with statues on every wall,
    and a lovely red carpet travelling down the hall.
    I have a grand dining room, and I have big beds on every floor.
    But I feel so empty inside; nobody lives in me anymore.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:41 No.17524381
    Goblins. Goblins are fucking hilarious -- and expendable. Children would love a book about goblins dying in hilarious ways.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:42 No.17524390
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:45 No.17524418
    As in, "The Book of Suicidal Bunny Rabbits"?
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:47 No.17524427

    Or that one book about the alphabet where every letter had a story about a kid with a name starting with that letter dying in an unfortunate manner.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:48 No.17524439

    In the grim dark future of the 41st millenium, Tommy the Space Marine has to decide between lighting up a heretic with plasma fire or to gut him open with his chainsword.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:52 No.17524464
    Errant the Knight, he goes around helping people and having big adventures.

    Tom the Cat, he follows a group of adventurers around totally misunderstanding what is going on but winding up helping some major but descrete way.

    Sam the Skeleton. He's building an army of the hungry dead to conquer the world for his dark gods.

    You could do a parody of The Fairy Queene; replacing the anti-Catholic imagery with just being naughty instead of nice. English nerds will give you major props if you do a good job, too.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:53 No.17524469
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    /tg/ story tiems could make some good books, anyone got the one about the fisherman with 0 corruption?
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)02:59 No.17524522
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    You could use a druid to send some pro-nature message. How you have to respect animals etc. Maybe a pyromaniac sorcerer starts burning down trees for fun and learns a lesson in the end etc.

    Maybe one about a town guard, teaching kids that you don't have to be an adventurer to be special.

    And racial/class acceptance would be another aesop you could cram in these. Everyone thought Billy the Rogue was a thief, but he just wanted to have friends! He picks up some money someone drops and puts it in their pocket but they get mad thinking he stealing etc. Or if you just want to go the race route, a kind-hearted drow/tiefling/whatever. Maybe "half-elves are different and so are you!"

    A dwarf who works hard, a lighthearted story about a bard singing songs etc, some clerics who learn to solve problems despite differences..

    Mine are obviously pretty "and we all learned a lesson" but that was kind of what I was going for so forgive me.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)03:05 No.17524565
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    OP here. I've been looking over what style I want to emulate for Milly, and I think the young Rapunzel sketches reflect pretty well. Probably the one in the center age-wise, but I love the style Disney put into Tangled, and think it would work well. Any opinions?

    Also, While I would like to put morals into these stories, I don't think I'll go environment, etc. More social interaction lessons.


    I like Billy the anti-thief who wants friends.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)03:09 No.17524602
    Kids now a days don't have the structure. I think more stories concerning what it means to be special would be good. Like the town guard one.

    Like, there was a town guard who lived in a town with a great wizard. Every time something bad happened, the Wizard would help fix everything. But one time a dragon came to town, who caused a lot of trouble. But, the wizard's magic couldn't stop the dragon. So even though he didn't have any special powers, he went to talk to the dragon. And it turns out the dragon isn't trying to cause problems, it's just one big misunderstanding. So the Guard ends up being the hero, because not only did he talk to the Dragon and find out why the dragon was causing problems, but he also saved the day without powers.

    Yeah. Probably too complicated, tho.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)03:13 No.17524631
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    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)03:49 No.17524931
    A story about Dwarves searching/mining for gold. Simple structure motif around digging deeper and finding different things in the earth. Each page would be "Then they found X! But it didn't look like gold, so they dug deeper".
    Good tie-in to elementary geology.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)03:53 No.17524960

    "The dwarves have dug too deep! The Balrog rises from the depths of the underworld and begin to devour them.

    The End."
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)04:02 No.17525028

    Actually, you could run it like the camp song "Bear hunt".

    We're going on a gold hunt! Dig Dig Dig!

    Then when they encounter the Balrog they have to race back up the mineshaft and plug everything along the way.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)04:03 No.17525042
    OP; think of Noh.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)04:52 No.17525435
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    God damn bad end
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)08:05 No.17526615
    bump for the bump god! Don't let this thread end now!
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)08:09 No.17526646
    can i get a screencap of milly the mage?
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)08:49 No.17526873

    All in favor? Good, let's do this!
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)08:51 No.17526885
    >The psychopathic, disease-spreading paladin
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)08:58 No.17526929
    Should be done in a similar fashion as this http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/DF2010:Stories/Bronzemurder
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)08:59 No.17526936
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    Along with the Dwarf idea:

    Perhaps a story of a few dwarves that leave home and, in their search for gold, forget their families. They find the gold, but it isn't what they thought it would be, and so they realize their family and friends were the best treasure of all.

    Also, throw in some Elephants and Carp for good measure.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)09:11 No.17527008
    And on the way home,
    One falls down a bottomless chasm;
    One is eaten by a Grue;
    One is trampled by a skeletal elk;
    All because they didn't empty their pockets of gold, so they couldn't run away fast enough.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)09:12 No.17527012

    ...seriously, what the fuck happened at the end? Did the bear kill and eat the rabbit? Is it supposed to be left up to our imaginations?
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)09:35 No.17527123
    Ah, solved by googling and getting the last page. The answer is yes.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)10:34 No.17527388
    Bump for childishness
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)10:51 No.17527571
    I always thought he had sat on it.
    He's a big bear.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)11:53 No.17528233
    Robert was a guardsman who kept watch over the city, come storm or calm. He stood every day on the high, high walls and made sure that the people in the city were safe. He got to wear shiny armor and carry a long, sharp spear. A wizard lived in his city who also protected the people, and though Robert had never met the wizard, Robert believed he was a good, strong man too.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)11:55 No.17528256

    Whenever bandits would come and try to steal from the city, or men from far away in different armor wanted to take the city for their own, the wizard would stand on top of his tower and force the bad men to go away with magic. The city remained safe, and everybody was happy. One day, however, smoke covered the western sky and something humongous blotted out the sun. Robert was terrified when the dragon landed in the center of the city, crushing houses and carts and shops beneath its claws.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)11:57 No.17528282

    Everyone ran out of the city crying in fear except for Robert and the wizard. The wizard came out of his tower and yelled at the dragon. "Begone, beast! This is no place for you!" The dragon roared, the glass windows in the city shattering into a million tiny pieces. The wizard was not scared: he spoke ancient words and used his magic to try and drive away the dragon, but the dragon did not move.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)11:59 No.17528304

    The wizard waved his arms and shouted, and the dragon did not budge. The wizard hit the dragon with his staff, and the beast only hissed. Robert feared for the good wizard's life, and ran through the city streets toward the dragon, with his shiny armor and his long, sharp spear. He moved between the dragon and wizard, leveling his weapon at the beast. "Leave this place! Don't you see the damage you're causing!?"
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)12:01 No.17528331

    The dragon blinked. It raised it's big, big head on its long, long neck and looked about the city. It saw the crushed houses and scattered stalls and all the broken glass. The dragon blinked, then a tear rolled down its scaly cheek. "I DIDN'T MEAN TO CAUSE SO MUCH DAMAGE" it roared, and Robert dropped his spear to hold his ears. "I ONLY WANTED TO COME AND ASK FOR HELP FROM THE WIZARD! BANDITS AND MEN IN STRANGE ARMOR TOOK OVER MY CAVE AND STOLE ALL MY GOLD!"
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)12:06 No.17528379

    Robert looked up at the giant creature crying above him, and he felt bad. He turned to the wizard, who was stroking his long white beard. "They must have moved in after I drove them away from the city. This is my fault. Of course I'll help the dragon!" Robert picked up his spear and nodded. He turned once more to the dragon and spoke loudly enough that the creature could hear him. "We will help you reclaim your home, if you'll promise to help fix what you broke." "OH, I WILL! I WILL! I PROMISE!" roared the dragon, a toothy smile crossing its maw.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)12:12 No.17528435

    Robert, the wizard and the dragon traveled into the mountains and drove the bad men from the cave the dragon called home. It was hot and dry, but the dragon was so glad to be home again! "YOU HELPED ME, FRIENDS, AND FOR THAT I AM THANKFUL" the dragon bellowed happily before disappearing into the cave. It returned moments later, carrying a chest bigger than Robert! "THIS IS A GIFT FROM ME TO YOU! PLEASE USE IT TO FIX WHAT I BROKE! I LOVE LOOKING OUT AT YOUR CITY IN THE MISTY MORNINGS, AND I WOULD FEEL BAD TO SEE WHAT I'D BROKEN EVERY DAY!" With that, the dragon vanished back into its cave. The wizard brought the chest back to the city using his magic, and when they opened it there was enough gold and jewels to make Robert and the wizard very, very rich. Do you know what they did with the gold? Just what the dragon asked. The people cheered Robert for helping the dragon, and even the old wizard praised him! "I didn't think to talk to him before I tried to drive him away. Surely, Robert, you are wiser than I."
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)12:20 No.17528525

    And once that was done, Robert went back to his wall with his shiny armor and long, sharp spear. He had done a good job, as a guard should. He had protected his city and the people in it with his new friend the wizard. It was a good day.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)12:59 No.17528914

    Polite bump for the OP
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)13:11 No.17529041
         File1326478297.png-(18 KB, 370x511, wizard template.png)
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    >Wizard school.
    >Low scoring apprentice, nice guy, not powerful.
    >Told to clean cellars, goes into the wrong cellars.
    >Encounters forgotten and angry bound spirit.
    >Leads to spirit saying, "No one has ever ASKED for my help before."
    >Spirit helps clean, shows Apprentice stuff over the days.
    >Apprentice encounters another spirit.
    >Spirit acts all happy and thankful and promises to be nice.
    >Second spirit gloats over being freed and attacks the apprentice.
    >First spirit takes him down, Apprentice uses his knowledge of cleaning supplies to banish the spirit.
    >Cue good end.
    Moral: Sometimes people are grumpy because no one was ever nice to them.
    Moral: Not everyone who is nice is a good guy.
    Moral: Always have backup.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)13:17 No.17529115
    Moral: Blessed cleaning agents are OP as fuck against even spirits.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)13:21 No.17529155
    Mr. Clean is a muscle wizard, what do you expect
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)13:22 No.17529176
    Not expecting anything at all, I beat a shadow to death with a broom with Magic Weapon cast on it and a lot of good rolling at level 1.

    Shit's cash.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)13:27 No.17529213
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    I remember that thread.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)13:27 No.17529217
         File1326479278.png-(891 KB, 3164x1580, wizards total.png)
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    I archived that thread.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)13:28 No.17529223

    I went to look for gold, but now that I've found it, I realize that what I truly want is to see my family again.

    >>Urist has crafted a masterwork gold statue of a family. The family is making plaintive gestures.
    >>Urist has been ecstatic lately.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)13:33 No.17529268
    Gay? Lumberjack? Beggar? Slime? Caffein? Surgeon? What kind of wizardry they do?
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)13:34 No.17529275
    Awesome wizardry.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)13:35 No.17529285
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    looking in my files, I also wrote a narrative for that thread, based on the order in which people made wizards.

    Included in this pic.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)13:39 No.17529340
    I say take a cue from Adventure Time and write stories about the importance of fighting, cunning, and aquiring knowledge and skills.

    I'm so sick of this "let's teach our kids to be nice to eachother and use their words instead of their fists."

    People are going to try to use you and hurt you, so let us teach them to recognize these things and how to defend themselves.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)17:47 No.17532094
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)18:27 No.17532618
    We should archive this. That way as the story comes along in the future we can have followup threads and everyone keep up etc.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)18:28 No.17532640
    Writefag here. I second the archiving movement.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)18:28 No.17532647
    >> Writefage 01/13/12(Fri)18:31 No.17532688

    Suh-weet! My stories shall live forever!
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)18:36 No.17532739
    Does anyone know why so many children's books are so fucked up?
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)18:37 No.17532746

    Because kids don't understand just how fucked up they are? Kids like whimsy.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)18:42 No.17532800
    You should read "The Old Woman Who Ate A Bat."
    It's an adventure in vore.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)18:42 No.17532810

    Is the old woman also a bat?
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)18:46 No.17532866
    I have the book, if you want me to scan and upload it.
    What DPI would be best? 150, 300, other?
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)18:50 No.17532911
         File1326498603.jpg-(16 KB, 466x333, Lemmiwinks.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)18:52 No.17532946

    I have no idea.
    >> Anonymous 01/13/12(Fri)19:05 No.17533071

    OP. Needs nerfed. Cataterfish needs some updating.

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