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  • File : 1326938197.jpg-(65 KB, 1024x768, starcraft-sarah-kerrigan.jpg)
    65 KB Zerg Quest LXIX Cerebrate Anon 01/18/12(Wed)20:56 No.17589231  

    We interrupt your regularly-scheduled Zerg Quest to bring you this special Zerg Quest!

    Samir Duran's position has become irradiated in the most explosive way. On Umoja, Kerrigan's forces are weeding out any renegade Zerg and slaughtering them like the dissidents they are. She has given us a dismissal that could be called "less than gracious."

    (Roll 1d100 for Scary Things, and read on for Scheduling Woes)
    >> Cerebrate Anon 01/18/12(Wed)20:57 No.17589246
    (So, bad news: The place I work is getting rid of my job at the end of this week. Good news: They're not firing me, just moving me to a new, somewhat more annoying job. Bad news: I'm going to be working nights. Worse news: I'm definitely working next Wednesday. Possibly ok news: I'm not working Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday of next week.)

    (SO, in lieu of having the Quest at the same time next week, would you guys like to have it on one or more of those days? I'll probably know by Monday what I'll be working the next week. We'll have to play this by ear a little until I have some idea of what days this new job will want from me)

    (Questions? Comments? Concerns?)
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/18/12(Wed)21:03 No.17589302
    rolled 25 = 25


    Well that blows, but at least you still have a job. For my two cents, I'd be fine with having quest on Sunday or Monday. Actually, those days would work awesome for me because my weekend is Sunday/Monday and I don't go in until 11am Tuesday.

    Anyways, cast a psychic net, see if we can sense Duran's presence anywhere in the Koprulu sector and get ready to talk to have some words with Kerrigan.
    >> TUCAMP 01/18/12(Wed)21:05 No.17589323
    rolled 51 = 51

    Aside from the hassle of all the redaction, no.
    I don;t like how Kerri just shut us out after we nuked Duran. We wanted to talk to her and by Father we're going to! "So aside from renegade minions, anything else new with you?"
    >> Cerebrate Anon 01/18/12(Wed)21:07 No.17589346
    >rolled 25 = 25

    (Oh. Oh, Overmind. That's...that was the cutoff point I set for this week. It's...it's happening. THIS IS WHY THE BOARD IS BLACK!)

    >> TUCAMP 01/18/12(Wed)21:09 No.17589360
    I'm scared, mainly because I'm having trouble reading everything.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/18/12(Wed)21:09 No.17589362

    PLus we need to get her up to speed on galactic events. We can't very well have her stumbling into the protoss invasion fleet and undoing our careful, if bumbling diplomancing.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/18/12(Wed)21:15 No.17589416

    I always knew I'd fuck this game up and now, here it comes. I don't know whether to be proud or embarrassed.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)21:18 No.17589436
    I'm in agreement
    >> Cerebrate Anon 01/18/12(Wed)21:23 No.17589488
         File1326939808.jpg-(18 KB, 519x519, Diabeetus.jpg)
    18 KB
    For a brief moment, we share a shuddering premonition with Internbrate and Artisanlord, and then, suddenly, we feel immeasurably lighter. Just...better.

    We try to delicately approach Kerrigan again, having news that doesn't involve her little insurrection.

    (Roll 2d20. Pic unrelated, but Evil Wilford Brimley ought to be here for the occasion)
    >> Cerebrate Anon 01/18/12(Wed)21:24 No.17589500
    (Also, nobody else has an opinion on when to do the Quest next week? Big Fat Zergling's going it solo?)
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/18/12(Wed)21:25 No.17589511

    I am deeply unsettled by this turn of events.

    The blacked out text just makes things more ominous.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)21:26 No.17589519
    rolled 6, 13 = 19


    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)21:26 No.17589522
    rolled 6, 18 = 24

    >> TUCAMP 01/18/12(Wed)21:26 No.17589523
    rolled 2, 8 = 10

    Lighter? WHO LEFT THE SWARM! And I don't have an opinion on days.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/18/12(Wed)21:26 No.17589525
    rolled 15, 19 = 34


    We're rolling well tonight
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)21:27 No.17589530

    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)21:28 No.17589535

    I blame sopa
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)21:32 No.17589575
    Sorry to interrupt, but I've read through a few of these threads (and I haven't seen any in a while) and I have a question in the form of a statement

    Tthere is no way you guys are on thread 69 already.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)21:33 No.17589592
    rolled 20, 14 = 34

    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/18/12(Wed)21:33 No.17589593

    Oh goddammit, there's no way some sort of Bernie-related fuckery isn't going on right now.
    >> BERNIE 01/18/12(Wed)21:35 No.17589610
    jesus fuck these things are still going?
    >> TUCAMP 01/18/12(Wed)21:35 No.17589612
    O' ye' of little faith. We are technically over 69 threads if you include the... 4 I think, SSSSPPPPOOOOOKKKKKYYYYY ZZZZERRRRGGGG QQQUUUEEESSTTTTT.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 01/18/12(Wed)21:44 No.17589700
    >I haven't seen any in a while
    >there is no way you guys are on thread 69 already

    Every Wednesday at 8 pm Central since July of 2010, with a few exceptions for holidays, surgeries, etc.

    It's only natural that we're on thread 69. More, actually, since we had Spooky Ze--
    Oh. TUCAMP's already got this. Cool.

    (Interesting rolls)

    Kerrigan gives us the ol'harumph as she continues scourging Umoja, but we can tell she's not really angry. We inform her of the Protoss attack force and our semi-alliance with the UED. She is pleased with the news, and seems to be considering something or other that she doesn't tell us about.

    We get a small blip of interference from Moria, but it only lasts a second.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)21:46 No.17589724
    Well, I suppose we better give Kerrigan a talking to.

    look at Moria before hand though.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/18/12(Wed)21:47 No.17589744

    Why do we feel lighter? Do we still have all of our cerebrates? Sweet Overmind is Artisanlord alright?

    Also send a cloaklord to Moria, try to get a better idea of what that blip was
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)21:50 No.17589763
    Agree. We need to find out why we feel lighter.
    >> TUCAMP 01/18/12(Wed)21:52 No.17589775
    Speaking of Moria, there was a... that's right I wanted to know how our zerg equivalent of the Bob Ross painting show was doing in the Morian market. And I guess we now have to figure out what's going on, because it can't be kingston.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 01/18/12(Wed)22:07 No.17589897
    Our overlord enters the system unnoticed, which is somewhat easy considering that the system is a grotesque warzone. The system screams with ECM on every band preventing any sort of communication. A massive battle is in progress in space. One of the orbital platforms is adrift, coated in a white substance. The others are alive with gunfire as waves upon waves of creatures flow onto them.

    The planet itself is clearly already being invaded. Even from deep orbit, we can see disturbing numbers of beasts ferrying the invasion force to the surface and leaving the planet to gather more.

    Moria is on the verge of collapse.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/18/12(Wed)22:09 No.17589916

    Get a better look at these creatures, what are they?

    Also requesting a headcount of all cerebrates, pseudo-brates and unique coniousnesses within our swarm.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)22:11 No.17589932

    Mobilize a FUCKHUEG attack force.

    Use the Heighliners.

    Destroy them. Destroy those who attack our vassal.
    >> TUCAMP 01/18/12(Wed)22:11 No.17589933
    Send reinforcement! THAT'S OUR SEMI-AUTONOMOUS ENTITY YOU'RE ATTACKING! Still don't like a mystery attacker though.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)22:16 No.17589967
    Send reinforcements asap, preferably using the heighliners. Also, second a headcount of all cerebrates/others.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/18/12(Wed)22:21 No.17589996

    If we send reinforcements, keep the Heighliners in reserve. This is a relatively local action, so there's no real need to risk such expensive ships for such a small increase in travel speed for a fraction of our forces.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)22:24 No.17590013

    Send in reinforcements! But no heighliners.

    Have the Overlord get a good eye on the invaders. Let's see what we can piece together from a good image of the invasion force.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)22:26 No.17590032

    >Send reinforcements
    >No Heighliners

    You do realize by the time our Reinforcements get there the planet would already be fucked to hell and back right?

    That's the entire thing that makes our Heighliners so fucking amazing, nigh-instantaneous transportation over long distances that would normally take a week or more to get there with warp jumps.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)22:28 No.17590047

    Alright, fine.

    Changing my orders to include heighliner transport.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)22:34 No.17590083
    Inform Kerrigan that there is a situation on Moria.
    "Ah, sis? I'm detecting an invasion force on Moria right now. I'm going to send a majority of my forces there to find out what this new threat is. But I'll be sure to leave some space forces in orbit to help you out, okay?"

    Get Warbrate and Gorn immediately, have them move troops to the Morian system with heighliners, we must stop and investigate this new threat.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/18/12(Wed)22:34 No.17590087

    You do realize that a huge amount of our forces are already parked essentially right next door, don't you? You do realize we can only transport the equivalent of one capship per heighliner at a time, don't you? You do realize that those heighliners are stupidly expensive and vulnerable expenditures of resources don't you?

    Seriously, if we want to use heighliners on this, we can pop in what, a half dozen capships worth of units at a time? And they'll be completely helpless while they're unloading their units. And our available Koplrulu sector assets are already right next door what with moving them into position to hit Umoja last game.

    So let's say we use the heighliners. We get a bunch of huge, defenseless targets sitting helplessly while they unload a tiny fraction of our units who will likely die without doing anything of note. Well done, we've wasted a few capships worth of units for no reason.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 01/18/12(Wed)22:40 No.17590136
    As we observe closer the beasts attacking Moria, we are suddenly no longer in need of a head count. The attacking forces are clearly taking prisoners. And doing...things to them. The still-screaming bodies of the prisoners are dragged to transports on their way out of the system by tentacles or toothy pink orifices. The attackers each carry at least one deformed, horrific sex organ.

    Bernie is attacking Moria.

    And we had no idea. We can't feel it. We can't hear its thoughts. Bernie has left the Swarm.

    The four heighliners create gravitational distortions as they enter the system, their hatches springing open to release the four carriers and assorted smaller craft within. Within seconds, a strike force of unidentified Zerg comes out of Warp nearby one of the heighliners and immediately two of the creatures latch onto it. The other three scramble towards the remaining heighliners.

    Warbrate and Gorn, meanwhile, have almost every unit in the Koprulu Sector en route via conventional Warp travel.

    (Roll 5d100 for the horrible little pods attacking the heighliners)
    >> EnthusiasmBrate 01/18/12(Wed)22:40 No.17590137
    Okay. Stop it. Stop being such a snarky twat. You dont know what you are doing or talking about so just stop the act already.

    We have on not one, but TWO occasions moved most of our forces with just the heighliners we have. Your rudeness is not enjoyed on this most prestegous of boards.

    /tg/ is a place for elegan/tg/entlemen not buffoons.

    Also I vote for an all out assault.
    Though i hate for this to finnaly come to zerg verse zerg warfare we cannot accept such disregard for our will. I cannot believe you are making us kill one of our first spawns Anon. You are a cold bastard indeed.

    But at least we wont have to constantly worry about what Bernie is up to anymore!
    >> Cerebrate Anon 01/18/12(Wed)22:42 No.17590168
    >You are a cold bastard indeed.

    The dice are harsh mistresses.
    >> EnthusiasmBrate 01/18/12(Wed)22:43 No.17590173
    Warp our unlatched transports out and have our carriers focus fire on the assailants. This does not bode well.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/18/12(Wed)22:45 No.17590191
    rolled 21, 91, 46, 56, 72 = 286


    Piss off. If you can't handle a little snark on the internet then you need to get some thicker skin you whiny little twat. Just because I talk down to people about their stupid ideas doesn't mean I'm not using logic and semi-decent strategy.


    Oh look, who could have foreseen this tragedy? If only we hadn't sent in our big, expensive, undefended ships all by themselves into the teeth of an unknown enemy.

    Concentrate our reinforcements on retaking our heighliners. We don't need a rogue Bernie with access to that kind of tech.
    >> TUCAMP 01/18/12(Wed)22:47 No.17590208
    rolled 23, 32, 83, 75, 75 = 288

    >> EnthusiasmBrate 01/18/12(Wed)22:49 No.17590231
    rolled 19, 89, 41, 89, 10 = 248


    You uncouth ruffian. I wont sink to the level of someone who is wrong.

    Oh well. A small price for sleeping well at night.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)22:50 No.17590241
    rolled 55, 53, 58, 100, 92 = 358

    Have our forces destroy the unlatched Zerg.

    As for the heighliner that was latched onto; can it spin up its slipstream drive for a jump back to Yoshus or one of our other staging areas?
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)22:52 No.17590259
    rolled 34, 92, 98, 99, 89 = 412



    For nigh on 60 threads we have harbored paranoia and guilt over Bernie's creation; at last, our sins return to haunt us.

    Rolling 5d100.

    Also, immediately send scouts to Bernie's homeworld, we need to know where the damnable thing itself is mired.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)22:53 No.17590276
    rolled 54, 28, 12, 16, 65 = 175

    Also, figured we'd warp them near by, not right into the middle of the battle. Because of bad things happening. But oh well.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/18/12(Wed)22:56 No.17590299





    And no, that's not a "small price to pay". We now have yet another enemy faction to deal with. Only now, this faction knows where at least some of our worlds are and now they're within grasp of taking some of the technology that will let them hit those worlds at a whim.

    Come on, EB, whine about my tone more and ignore the (valid) points I'm making, that's quite mature of you.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)22:56 No.17590300
    rolled 43, 76, 67, 1, 97 = 284


    So we have a Bernie problem.

    Dr. Glowy recommends a flight of nukes straight to his homeworld.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)22:58 No.17590324
    >shit-flinging everywhere

    I'll just read the archive, thanks.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 01/18/12(Wed)23:02 No.17590357
         File1326945758.jpg-(61 KB, 640x480, zerg3prev.jpg)
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    (You two! Hey! HEY! HEY! Calm down, just calm down! Calm down. Just caaalm down!)

    (Good gawd, TUCAMP. Your rolls are clearly in bed with Bernie. That's a terrible, terrible thing to see happen)
    A wraith manages to sear the first pod off of the compromised heighliner, but the second contracts disgustingly, like a massive pimple retreating into flesh, before our fire destroys it. A moment later, the Infested Terran piloting the craft is dead. One of Bernie's units is in the cockpit.

    Our carriers, covering the heighliners as their engines spool up to leave, manage to destroy one of the remaining pods before it can attach to a heighliner. It explodes into a pink, slushy mucus.

    The other two are more evasive, and manage to attach to their targets.

    (One heighliner is captured, and two are being boarded, in case that was unclear. Roll 2d20 to see if you can remove the pods before they get all up in your business)

    The rest of our forces come out of Warp nearby the perimeter of the fight, their momentary disarray covered by the forward troops the heighliners delivered.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)23:06 No.17590395
    rolled 3, 20 = 23

    Have that Wraith fire everything it has into the cockpit of the compromised heighliner.
    We'll fix it later.

    As for the forces that just warped in, have them interdict the planet and start destroying Bernie's forces. Attempt recapture of prisoner transports.

    Have several cloaked Overlords sent to known Bernie worlds, and have Nukeworld prepare its stockpile for launch.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)23:07 No.17590409
    rolled 2, 18 = 20

    If it comes down to it, blow the highliners up before they can get away. Rather destroy them than let anyone else have them.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/18/12(Wed)23:08 No.17590417
    rolled 11, 10 = 21


    If necessary, have our froces prepare to scuttle the compromised heighliners. Better they are destroyed than fall into a rogue Bernie's...tentacles.

    And no, I'm not calming down. That little cunt came out of nowhere and started bitching me out for my typing style. Now he wants to pretend he's better than me when I respond in kind? Fuck that.

    Calling it now: EB is going to call me an internet tough guy for remaining argumentative.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)23:15 No.17590470
    rolled 8, 14 = 22


    If possible, have available Zergleks on that capture Heighliner attempt to interface with the ship and shut it down. If Cyberbrate can assist with this, do so.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/18/12(Wed)23:22 No.17590524

    That's a good idea. We should implement some sort of electronic fail safes that can only be activated by ourselves or Cyberbrate with our order. It could be a self destruct or total shut down mechanism on a closed circuit.

    We should look into that for later.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 01/18/12(Wed)23:30 No.17590572
    (NAT 20! That hasn't happened in ages)
    All ordnance seems to just slip away from one of the pods, as it inexorably flies toward its target. Thankfully, a missile flies through the skin of its companion, which explodes violently. In an improbable turn of events, the debris of the one pod strikes the first off course. Instead of careening over the engines and latching onto the cockpit, it flies directly into the engine, and becomes little more than an unpleasant engine burp.

    Our forces have arrived, and the battle may commence, but we have one heighliner captured! There are about 4 seconds left before all of their engines are ready for jump, and we have no doubt that Bernie will take this one as soon as it can.

    (You don't have long. Figure out how to keep this out of Bernie's hand...claw...pincer...things)
    >> TUCAMP 01/18/12(Wed)23:32 No.17590589
    Personally I blame Nargil for this mess. Clearly he made Berniebrate wrong, and the fact that I thought Berniebrate wasn't going to work/be purged right after has nothing to do with it. Nope none at all.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)23:32 No.17590592
    Does Cyberbrate have any control over the onboard systems? Can he force it into a shutdown sequence and maintenance cycle?

    If not, have Wraiths blow apart the cockpit.
    >> TUCAMP 01/18/12(Wed)23:34 No.17590602
    Firing main cannon? We can make more... eventually.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)23:34 No.17590607

    Kill it. We can make more. Bernie having one is a threat to the entire galaxy.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/18/12(Wed)23:36 No.17590618

    Destroy the engines of all compromised heighliners. Get the one ship under our control out of here, preferably at a world Bernie wouldn't know about. Send triple the amount of counterboarding forces necessary to retake the compromised ships.

    That should be more than enough, Bernie's always been obsessed with causing pain rather than having efficient units. His rape monsters shouldn't be able to stand against creatures actually bred for war.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)23:37 No.17590622

    Attempt to MENTALLY DOMINATE the *thing* that is currently in control of the heighliner.

    It's Bernie's thing, and it's different than any strain of Zerg we've seen. But it still probably has enough genetic information to make it predisposed toward easy control by Zerg minds.

    But if that doesn't work, have a wraith slam the afterburner and ram into the heighliner's cockpit.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)23:37 No.17590626
    Guys guys guys.

    If we kill Bernie NOW while he is seperated from the swarm.

    We no longer have him in our minds.

    He truly dies. Not even Duran can resurrect him.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)23:39 No.17590638

    I see no problem with this course of action.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/18/12(Wed)23:40 No.17590643

    This is change I can believe in.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)23:40 No.17590649

    We may not have the luxury of attempting to assert our will over him once again.

    Even if we did, it would probably be a safe bet that we would order Bernie to commit suicide, then purge our minds of any trace of him.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)23:44 No.17590669
    Sounds good to me.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 01/18/12(Wed)23:45 No.17590679
    (Ok. I have rolled for this attack at home. Please roll 1d100 for the severity of the Oh Shit Moment)
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)23:46 No.17590685
    rolled 100 = 100


    bracin' for shitstormin'
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)23:46 No.17590686
    rolled 11 = 11

    Goddammit, what broke now?
    >> TUCAMP 01/18/12(Wed)23:46 No.17590687
    rolled 28 = 28

    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)23:46 No.17590688
    rolled 65 = 65


    Splice and dice!
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/18/12(Wed)23:46 No.17590690
    rolled 37 = 37


    Roll on
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)23:46 No.17590691

    Oh my fuck. this is going to be fantastic or bernie cums everywhere forever.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/18/12(Wed)23:47 No.17590696

    Things were bad! Now they're good! Forever!
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)23:49 No.17590702
         File1326948544.jpg-(58 KB, 471x694, explain-this-bullshit.jpg)
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    >> TUCAMP 01/18/12(Wed)23:49 No.17590706
    Either really good or really bad... I still blame Nargil, and clearly we need to drop the illusion that we are first among equals, WE are the SWARM, except kerri, and OUR WILL IS LAW, which kerri still doesn't have to follow.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)23:50 No.17590710
    why do we not give a shit about kerri again if she is not following our will?
    >> TUCAMP 01/18/12(Wed)23:50 No.17590712
         File1326948647.jpg-(47 KB, 524x576, 132678842535.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)23:50 No.17590713

    >> TUCAMP 01/18/12(Wed)23:52 No.17590721
    We promised daddy. Also we couldn't even dominate that two-bit poser Duran, so Kerri is a whole other mess of worms.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)23:52 No.17590722
    Special dispensation from the Overmind. Father said she's allowed to be independent.
    To go against that is to go against the will of the Overmind.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 01/18/12(Wed)23:53 No.17590731
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    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/18/12(Wed)23:56 No.17590751

    I don't think we need to go that far. The other cerebrates are performing just fine with how they been treated so far, so we shouldn't need to treat them differently. And they're watching what happens when they rebel against us right now.

    Bernie was always a rogue element that was too destabilizing and unpredictable to keep around. Even so, we let him live. We gave him his shot and it bit us in the ass. Now we squash him and the universe is a little better for it.

    It's win-win. We finally get rid of Bernie and subtly reinforce the prime tenet of unity within the swarm. Or else.
    >> Anonymous 01/18/12(Wed)23:57 No.17590760
         File1326949055.png-(286 KB, 550x550, epic shitstorm.png)
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    >> TUCAMP 01/18/12(Wed)23:59 No.17590774
    Well, it is OUR WILL that Bernie shall die this day, so it's all good. It's simpler to disregard what I say when I'm making seeping non-specific statements. I think of them as more of a change of tone then a specific course of action.
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)00:03 No.17590792
    k, here's the plan:
    We blow up the Heighliners
    We kill Bernie
    We save Moria
    We go over to Kerrigan and tell her, "Wanna join the swarm now pretty pls? Give you the well-roasted and garnished body of a cerebrate who tried to disobey me. ^-^"
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/19/12(Thu)00:03 No.17590795

    Fair enough
    >> TUCAMP 01/19/12(Thu)00:06 No.17590820
    I'm thinking no on the threatening Kerri. Telling her that it might not be a bad idea if we talked regularly would be fine.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 01/19/12(Thu)00:07 No.17590827
         File1326949674.png-(262 KB, 630x487, nature09289-s2.png)
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    One well-placed Yamato cannon blows the compromised craft in half as its drive initiates. Simultaneously, the other heighliners disappear, leaving behind oscillating red lights in their wakes. The compromised craft, however, blazes red with the intensity of a supernova. Many of our units are temporarily blinded, though some of them have more than one layer of nictitating membranes over their eyes and manage to watch as a terrible wave of red energy washes across space toward the bulk of Bernie's forces. Our ships and facilities' mechanical energy sources in both the Koprulu Sector and UED space fluctuate wildly as the distortion passes, engulfing hundreds of thousands of renegade Zerg and an entire Morian orbital platform. When the red light finally fades, all that was in the wave's path is gone.

    There's just...nothing. At all.

    Labbrate suggests that we do our best to never let that happen again.

    On the plus side, Bernie's forces are horribly outnumbered, now, and are clearly in retreat. Should we follow them? Attempt rescue/reconstruction operations on Moria?
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)00:10 No.17590844
    welp, literally one shot and ALL of bernies forces just got bent over and raped.

    i'd say we are on a roll.
    >> TUCAMP 01/19/12(Thu)00:11 No.17590845
    Both, but mainly Bernie. We can tell citybrate to deal with the morian cleanup until we get back.
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)00:11 No.17590850
         File1326949900.jpg-(30 KB, 480x640, its-beautiful.jpg)
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    MFW we've just discovered a new WMD.

    wtf just happened? Did we lose all the heightliners?

    Send some of our forces to moria to begin rescue work. Specifically, transports and slow troops.

    All space capable forces and rapid response troops are to go after bernie. Let there be none left when we're done.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/19/12(Thu)00:12 No.17590854

    Do both. Leave our ground forces on Moria to clean up, send our space forces to finish off his space forces.

    And send cloaklords to the known Bernie worlds. We need to see if he has any (disgusting and horrifying) surprises for us. And they can see if we can find his physical body
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)00:12 No.17590857
    Secure those other heighliners, and make sure that the boarders are given over to Nargil for dissection and analysis.

    Gorn, take the Scourge and Mutalisks and hunt down Bernie's brood. No survivors.

    Warbrate, take our other forces, begin rescuing any prisoners in transports and clearing away Bernie's filth from Moria's surface.

    Also, any word on getting those recon assets to take a look at Bernie's controlled systems, and has Toaster warmed up our remaining nuke stockpile on Nukeworld?
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)00:12 No.17590858
    Send Accountantbrate and Defensebrate and Citybrate and Artisianlord to oversee constructions on Moria. Kerri can help too if she wants.
    Gorn and Cyberbrate (from a distance) are to join us personally in an attack on Bernie's homeworld. Bring the Zergleks. Bring the nukes. Bring enough zerg to scour the surface of the planet forever.
    >> TUCAMP 01/19/12(Thu)00:13 No.17590860
    Now that I mention him, what had he been up to this whole time? He's a quiet on he is. Not as quite as defensebrate... I miss defensebrate, but he keeps the fight going on Aiur... or so I hope...
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)00:13 No.17590864

    We lost ONE Heighliner but gained intimate knowledge of one of the most powerful WMDs we have ever seen.

    The others got the fuck out of dodge.

    Seems like a good trade to me.
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)00:14 No.17590866

    There's no reason we can't do a bit of both.

    Send some scouting forces to tail Bernie's retreating forces. I'd be very tempted to send in our huge force in there and purge anything/everything we find in that sector, but charging in blindly would probably be a bad thing. Bernie's depraved and enjoys torturing things more than getting shit done, but he's still a wily un-Cerebrate. We gotta be careful.

    Also, while we probably don't want to send down a bulk of our Zerg forces, we may want to send down a small force of CLEARLY NOT HORRIBLE RAPE-MONSTER ZERG along with a Zergy ambassador down to Moria and take stock of the situation (i.e. Zergleks and a subtly infested terran). Have Accountantbrate begin to estimate damages and see what needs to be repaired first.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/19/12(Thu)00:14 No.17590869

    Oooh, delegation of responsibility, I like your style. I fully support all of this.
    >> TUCAMP 01/19/12(Thu)00:16 No.17590885
    Defensebrate was left on Aiur, because we forgot about him, and didn't give him an escape pod. He's the Schrodinger Cerebrate, until we retake Aiur we won't know his fate.
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)00:25 No.17590924
    Oh. He's almost certainly dead, then.
    Regardless, we've got Bernies to kill.
    Ensure Artisianlord gets footage of the whole thing to broadcast to Moria and the UED, showing us as protectors of Humanity.
    And broadcast it to Kerri, showing her how we handle one of our children getting uppity.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/19/12(Thu)00:28 No.17590939

    I don't think the UED knows about Koprulu sector humans yet. Broadcasting this to them will raise all kinds of unpleasant questions when they try to send their own aid to this world and they suddenly can't find it.

    And the Morians are still to busy fighting for their lives to watch ZergTV right now
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)00:29 No.17590950

    I think at least, recording what happened is a good move. Regardless, we can use the footage next time.

    Perhaps even a motion picture: 'The Rescue of Moria'.
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)00:30 No.17590955
    Sounds good, but the footage is only released to the Morians, since the UED doesn't know about the Morians yet, and I don't want them asking questions.

    Which reminds me, nudge our Emissary on Tarsonis and get in contact with the Terran government. We need to know how 'this alien threat was able to penetrate our defense perimeter', and why the Morians didn't immediately contact us when they came under attack.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 01/19/12(Thu)00:32 No.17590968
    >The other heighliners

    They arrived over Yoshus in complete shutdown, with some compression damage. Closer inspection by Toaster and Labbrate indicates that their 5th dimensional shielding is almost completely gone. They will require repair before they can be used again, but that shouldn't take too long.

    >Discovered a WMD

    Labbrate and Internbrate become very agitated at the impression that we might try to make this happen again. They even go so far as to suggest that we refrain from even using the heighliners in areas where they might encounter enemy forces, ever.


    We wisely land mostly Infested Terran troops to engage in rescue operations. Defensebrate and Citybrate, despite usually being far, far too busy for our shenanigans, volunteer to direct the efforts. Accountantbrate is nervously evaluating its available resources. It suggests getting Tarsonis and Protoss worlds to pay for the reconstruction through the sale of cheap, meaningless ribbons and bumper stickers.

    Emergency generators and batteries are noticeably less efficient than expected.

    >The chase

    Bernie's forces try to jump to Warp to escape, but they seem to...squeeze into it, instead. Our forces attempt to follow, and also experience an unusual compression effect. Still, the trip is fairly normal, and when our forces arrive over Bernie's World, we haven't suffered any damage.

    We notice a small force leaving the planet, preparing for Warp travel, but it appears that this world is not the nexus of Bernie's space-faring army.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/19/12(Thu)00:33 No.17590971

    That's sounds pretty awesome for future propaganda. And we can broadcast it to Tarsonis at least.

    Speaking of which, if Moria and Umoja both had shit going down, odds are pretty good that Tarsonis has some fuckery going on as well. Raynor is still on that world right? We should pick his brain for current events
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)00:34 No.17590979
    God damn it Bernie made the warp into a vagina.
    Well, time to abort Bernie.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 01/19/12(Thu)00:37 No.17590996
    (Actually, Defense- and Citybrate were both ones I kept forgetting to mention. I'm rectifying that, and lampshading it with a line about them being just REALLY BUSY. If there's a reason for you guys to need them in the future, they're going to be there)
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)00:38 No.17591002
    although i agree, warp fuckery is not to be tolerated.
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)00:39 No.17591006
    Accountantbrate is to work on the economic side of things, as that's what he does best.

    Have Cyberbrate use its immense calculation capabilities to estimate where Bernie's forces are trying to escape to, while Gorn tears them apart.

    Send a call to Raynor, telling him that if he agrees, we're re-activating him to assist in the clean-up of Moria after its attack.
    He's an independent operative now, we should respect his independence and his previous service to the Swarm.

    Get Warbrate to hand off all rescue and reconstruction to Defensebrate and Citybrate, and have him begin sending out Dropservers and cloaked Overlords to the systems we granted to Bernie as well as all likely worlds that he may have secretly taken for himself.

    I also want a status update from Colonylord. The most recent colonies may face attack from Bernie.
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)00:39 No.17591013
    What does it take to create a new Cerebrate?
    With all the worlds we have, perhaps we could create some kind of Logisticsbrate or Manufacturingbrate. Something to handle gathering raw resources, making them into goods to use or sell, selling them, and also handling all the goddamn logistics and shipping involved.
    Ask Accountantbrate for its input on this beforehand, of course.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/19/12(Thu)00:40 No.17591014

    >Heighliner stuff
    Scour the recovered heighliners clean of any possibly Bernie-related taint. Take them apart completely if necessary.

    And of course I'm siding with Labbrate and Internbrate in not exposing our heighliners to enemy forces.

    For now.

    >Moria clean up
    Skip approaching the protoss, we don't want them to think there might be other, rogue broods out there. We should see if we can get Tarsonis to foot some of the bill, though

    Follow those ships, but leave a cloaklord or two in system in case they try to return.
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)00:41 No.17591020
    Also, get the Emissary to liaise with the Terran government on Tarsonis and see what the Hell happened. Get them to prep any defenses they have in case 'the unknown alien menace' attacks them as well.

    We don't want anyone to find out that Bernie was something that we knew about.
    At most, stick to a cover story that he must have been a Cerebrate that went rogue after the death of the Overmind.
    >> TUCAMP 01/19/12(Thu)00:41 No.17591025
    Hooray retconing defensebrate back! I am completely fine with selling ribbons and not using our heighliners in combat situations ever again, great for resource extraction, colonization, and bugging the UED.

    I though he joined one of the colonization waves.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/19/12(Thu)00:43 No.17591036

    Did he? I can't remember what became of him after our jaunt from his point of view. If that's the case, I guess we can just activate one of our infested terrans already on the planet.
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)00:45 No.17591049
    We must sell ribbons.
    And buttons.
    And little flags.
    And pre-manufactured snacks in fun shapes.
    And little doohickys that play an anthem when you press a button.

    Also, we need to find an example of every item used by a large quantity of people, and manufacture our own Zerg version of it. We could get zPhones, zTV, zComputers, zSports, zCars, zClothes, zFood.
    We sell them for Twice the cost of their normal counterparts, but spend all the excess in marketing, creating a brand name to sell to people.
    Do we have a Marketingbrate?
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)00:47 No.17591056
    Seconding assigning Defensebrate and Citybrate to direct reconstruction efforts on Moria. Have some hardcore city planning going on in there too; rebuilding Moria to be a more pleasant/efficient/aesthetically pleasing place to live will be a good gesture of goodwill and cut down on costs. That, and we can probably sneak in strategic sewer lines and/or avenues that would make it much easier for us to regain control of Moria in the future.
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)00:56 No.17591101

    >ooooohhh, the chaaaaase

    Do we have any Dropbservers or such with our force? If so, deploy some of them to stay behind in this system and scout out the planet.

    Also, have our forces get a bearing for where exactly we are in relation to known space. Then, continue to pursue Bernie's forces.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 01/19/12(Thu)01:02 No.17591140
    (It requires one overlord, one other unit that may also be an overlord, special observation by Nargil, and a roll of the dice. It's tough business. You're basically describing a new cerebrate to take a bunch of Citybrate and Accountantbrate's jobs. They might get all "THEY took ER JERBS!" on you)

    The Morian officials we can find on Moria, and all of the officials on Tarsonis, are baffled by the attack. Bernie's forces are different enough from any regular Zerg that it is easy to convince them that they aren't Zerg at all. In all the confusion, though, the public opinion of us doesn't change one way or the other. Most people are more afraid of this new threat than they are grateful for the rescue.

    (Actually, I don't think we ever let Raynor go. He's just been sitting around our embassy on Tarsonis, drinking. He's mostly in control of himself; slightly less so than a cerebrate. We could release him, if you want, or give him orders)

    The entire fleet uses its cloaking devices, hopefully before the leaving ships notice them. They watch the ships turn toward one of Bernie's other worlds, and jump to Warp.

    (You guys get one more post, then I'm going to bed. Make it good)
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)01:04 No.17591156
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    Prep fire.

    Nuclear fire.
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)01:06 No.17591168
    >(You guys get one more post, then I'm going to bed. Make it good)
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/19/12(Thu)01:08 No.17591179

    Send a dropserver to follow those ships. Hell just have a dropserver tail them until we find Bernie's primary forces concentration or his physical body. As soon as we locate it, we jump on top of him, tear him apart, nuke the remains then dump whatever ash and dust we can collect into the nearest black hole.

    Since the Koprulu humans don't know anything about his attack there's not much point in activating Raynor. I guess we could tell him to inependantly investigate Moria and see if there was anything there that would have drawn Bernie's attention. Beyond being a planet full of potential victims, of course.
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)01:09 No.17591183
    I had assumed that we had given Raynor his freedom, a suitcase full of cash, a fully loaded gun, and a vulture with a topped off gas tank when he succeeded where we had failed, and brought Kingston down.

    But if he's still a part of the Swarm...
    "Jim, I'm reactivating you. We've got problems, and I need controlling intelligences to take care of details."

    Have the Emissary liaise with the Terran officials, we'll provide assistance but they need to get their own people organized for the rescue efforts.

    Gorn stays on Bernie's trail while Warbrate does recon.
    >> TUCAMP 01/19/12(Thu)01:14 No.17591212
    That's not how we reactivate Jimmy, we send him a fedora and trenchcoat. I don't know why people waht to tap him, but if we do we need to do it right.
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)01:19 No.17591247
    I suppose we don't REALLY need him in this situation. We can use our Emissary as the public face of the reconstruction efforts, I suppose.
    I was just thinking that Raynor might be useful in this case, smoothing things over between Defensebrate and Citybrate and our Zerg rescue and reconstruction forces and the local populace.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 01/19/12(Thu)01:21 No.17591259
         File1326954113.jpg-(7 KB, 180x180, Dat Hydralisk.jpg)
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    (Ok, we'll have a dramatic opener next week, then. I'll start a thread on Sunday at 8 Central. If things are magical, maybe I'll even do one on Monday, too. We haven't had a twofer week since...like...the first week of Zerg Quest. That'll make up for the uncertain schedule, right?)


    (So, was Bernie getting loose worthy of the Bad Things buildup?)
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)01:22 No.17591262

    Being the one who rolled.

    I'm very curious what we avoided.

    I suspect stuff like half the planet being taken out.
    >> Big Fat Zergling 01/19/12(Thu)01:27 No.17591287

    That sounds awesome.

    Bernie's rebellion would probably have worked better as a horrible shit happening roll if there hadn't been such unanimous consent to take him down and finally get rid of him for good.
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)01:27 No.17591288

    I think we all kinda expected him to go feral one of these days.

    But yea, that was horrible
    >> Cerebrate Anon 01/19/12(Thu)01:27 No.17591290
    It was mostly a roll to see how the crazy red wave would move, because the more it moved like an explosion, the more of our forces would die. The more it moved like a directed wave, the fewer of our forces would die. There was a range in there where it would have engulfed all or most of Moria and just annihilated all of the matter, yes.

    I honestly hadn't even considered what would happen if you got a 100. It took me a minute.
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)01:33 No.17591331

    Was there anything friendly left on that orbital platform that got taken out?
    >> Anonymous 01/19/12(Thu)01:33 No.17591334
    So wait.

    Let me get this straight.

    IF we can convince accountabrate and Sciencebrate to agree to research into blowing up our 5th dimensional reactor-thingies.

    Could we end up with the very first (barring Xel'naga) Anti-matter Warheads/ Planet Busters?
    >> LordHighlander !tHPBvczhcc 01/19/12(Thu)01:35 No.17591351
    Lets do this!
    But... I just got here....

    Ah well, my vote is for sunday.

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