"Shit."

"Doesn't mean you have to go tell him about it right off the bat. He's still pretty swamped with paperwork from what I hear."

Hmm... As the old proverb goes, you could put off today what you could accomplish tomorrow...

[ ] No, I'd better let him know now.

[ ] I'll uh, take a raincheck on telling him.

OH BABY

[x] I'll uh, take a raincheck on telling him

I made it in time!

>[X] No, I'd better let him know now

>>17609070
[X] No, I'd better let him know now.

Man up on what we did. Maybe he can be mollified by telling him that we took the girls shopping and they're currently tired and so won't be bothering him today either.

[X] No, I'd better let him know now.

[ ] No, I'd better let him know now.

[ ] No, I'd better let him know now.
Dude doesn't seem like the kind of guy that likes to be
bullshitted. Not like there is a person like that.

>>17609064
New HL, Oh joy!
anyways,
[ ] I'll uh, take a raincheck on telling him.
better to take our ass kicking now then later

>>17609193
DOH! totally meant

[ ] No, I'd better let him know now.

This is the best way to suffer through a hangover and the first one I've caught from the beginning since it started. Fuck yeah!

[ ] No, I'd better let him know now.
hey we didnt crash it thats all he asked

Oh yeah, just in time for the start

[X] No, I'd better let him know now.

Let him know. Explain the reason for the ships condition like pic related.

“I should probably just get it over with, shouldn’t I?” You ask, as though inquiring about your own funeral, which this could likely result in.

“Maybe? Vect can be pretty reasonable when he wants to be, maybe you’ll catch him in a good mood?” Teach shrugs.

Somehow you doubt you will…

The twins, upon hearing what you are about to do, inform you that they have to go do some "girl stuff" and are gone before you can protest. Damn those two, making you take the fall for this...

A secretary waits where you were told to go. Vect seems to be in an office rather than his own personal study.

“You got an appointment?” She asks in her nasally voice as she pops a bubble of gum and files her nails.

“No, well, not exactly. Can you just let Vect know I brought his daughters back safe?”

The secretary sighs, as though you’d just asked if she would do some arduous back breaking labor for you without getting paid for it.

“Mr. Vect.” She says, pushing down an intercom, “This guy here says he brought your daughters back or something.”

“Parker?” You hear Vect ask through the system.

“Yeah.” She says in her drawn out accent.

“It’s Max, actually…” She doesn’t seem to care, though.

“Send him right in!”

You gulp as the door opens, a torrent of wispy smoke billowing out of it.

“Parker?!” Comes the gruff voice from inside the room, which despite a small voice screaming in the back of your mind “RUN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE MAN!!!”, you enter.

“…Max, actually…”

“Right right, Max.” Vect is reading a paper of some kind, while his other hand searches across his desk for a cup. Judging from the smell, you think he’s got a cigar.

“So I heard you banged my ship up pretty rough.”

“Well… We uh, got into a fight with some Necrons.”

Vect sets down his paper on the desk.

“I don’t give a fuck about that.” He pulls the cigar out of his mouth and extinguishing it in a tray.

Do we have pictures we can sell to the paper?

>>17609270
Does he need photos?

Photos of Doomrider?

>>17609270
So, what photos can we give him?

who the hell is parker

we need to get pictures of doomrider!

>>.17609263
Guess Vect's voice will be J.K. Simmons

never mind... damn beer, need moar

indubitably

"Uh, well, geeze... uh..."

Jesus Christ, I spend all night drinking and smoking hookah, and now I wake up with a Hard Cider, A Chocolate Chip Muffin, and Heretical Love? I love you Papa.

You have my frosting bag.

“Are my daughters safe?” He asks, his eyes steel hard.

“Very.”

“Well then, what’s the problem?” He sighs in relief, and kicks his feet up onto the desk, massaging his temples.

“Uhh… You aren’t… Mad? About the ship?”

Vect raises an eyebrow as he stares hard at you, as though mulling over your question.

“To be completely honest with you, I didn’t expect that you would actually bring it back.”

This catches you a bit off-guard.

“Huh?”

Vect sits forward again, folding his hands together and setting them on his massive wooden desk.

“Let me tell you something, Max. I love those two daughters of mine, as much as a father can. That doesn’t change one simple fact, those two are quite possibly the most random destructive force in the galaxy.”

As he talks, he leans over and picks out a large green binder from atop a cabinet.

“Here, take a look.” He sets it before you, and opens it to the middle.

You almost laugh at what you see. Almost.

The pictures consist of many different variations of the same theme. Something; a pleasure yacht, a large skiff, a home, absolutely destroyed. The twins stand in front of the frame in every one, smiling sheepishly.

“My daughters have never brought anything back. They destroy things, plain and simple. You give them a vehicle to control or a house to stay in, and unless you are watching them like a hawk, it’s crashed and burning within the day.”

You don’t bother mentioning that it seems to be a trait you share as well…

“So, we’re cool, then?” You finally pipe up.

Don't mind my adjustment of name. Figured I'd make it a little more unique. As if someone is gonna impersonate me...

>>17609375
WE'RE ALIVE!

>>17609418
this.

also from what is is sounding like here:
>>17609064
the emperor seems to have decided to stop being "dead" and go will probably go do his job for once!

What ever happened to Long Cron Silver? Is he just walking the bottom of the sea?

But... Oh thank God Vect is being a bro! We just made a powerful ally, so long as he doesn't find out he boned the twins.

“Eh? Sure, whatever. Now get out of my office, I need to get back to work.” He shoos you away with one hand as he reaches for a communicator.

“Hey Parker.” He stops you at the door, and you turn around.

“…Max.”

“Got any pictures of the Galactic Partridges? Good ones? I’d pay you for them.”

“No, sorry.”

“Doomrider? That guy is hot shit right now, really sells out the stands.”

“No, but I can probably get you some, I guess? You run a news paper business?”

"Bitch, I'm Vect. I do everything." He gives you a thumbs-up before waving you off, and starts talking on the device in his hand.

The twins are waiting for you outside the secretary’s room, both of them looking quite anxious.

“Gee guys, thanks for throwing me under the bus. Your dad says he’s going to toss me into the arena again.”

Both of them startle in panic, grabbing onto you wide-eyed.

“W-what?!” Senna gasps, frantically looking around as though she could spot something to save you.

“He did? Oh no, we thought he’d go easy on you!” Senda bites her nails.

“Totally screwing with you.” You stick out your tongue at them.

“Uggghhh!!!!” Senna bites your shoulder, looking quite angry.

“Jerk.” Senda folder her arms, but you can tell she’s relieved.

>>17609513
>Long Cron Silver riding R'almon, the one who wants our Moby Dick...

Oh god, this is horrifying.
Also; Pretty sure he would have phased out back to his ship.

“You deserved it, entirely.”

They both nod.

“Anyways, we really do have some stuff we need to get done. We’re both slated to be MC’s for this year’s annual Raiding-Party awards ceremony and neither of us has anything written up yet.” Senda hands you a flier.

“You guys are… Famous?”

“Duh, we’re daughters of the big V, of course we are.” Senna grins.

You walk them back to their room, and they pause at the door.

“We really had fun with you, Max.” Senda smiles.

“Don’t let her fool you, we both really REALLY like you!” Senna gives her sister a playful shove.

“So you’d better come see us again!” They chime in unison, before planting a tandem kiss on your lips.

“Will do.”

With that, they disappear into their chambers.

“You’ve got quite some nerve, motherfucker.” A familiar voice from behind you.

Turning around, you recognize the Dark Eldar pilot who had ferried you around twice now. Only this time, he’s clad in far more regal looking equipment, a look of smug satisfaction on his face. He grins.

“You’re one excellent motherfucker, you know that? That word you put in for me? Yeah. I’m going to be in charge of this place as soon as Vect gets everything finalized.”

>>17609522

Be all pic related and get some more bitches.

That is the only course of action.

“Thought you’d like that.” You grin back.

“Fuck yeah. Now the twins told me they’ve got some work to get done, and knowing them it’s going to take every ounce of concentration and their mother standing over them with a whip, so we gotta get you out of here before they get sidetracked.” He gestures, and you start following him.

“Those two ever get any work done?” You inquire.

“Rarely, now where do you want to go?”

[ ] Give your axe-murderer a jingle, go to the bloodbowl game.

[ ] Karen sent you a text, the Orks are filming a show she thinks you would enjoy.

[ ] Try to reprogram the murderously loving Necron.

[ ] Mika sent you a message, asking for help with some science.

[ ] Lycheria left you a voice message, apparently the canoness wants her bike back

[ ] Help Ailia get over her fear of ‘nids

>>17609553
BLOOD BOWL

>>17609530

We got that pilot a promotion.

Pilots love promotions.

>>17609553
>[X] Try to reprogram the murderously loving Necron.

We really need to get that out of the way.

[x] Give your axe-murderer a jingle, go to the bloodbowl game.

>[X] Lycheria left you a voice message, apparently the canoness wants her bike back

[x ] Try to reprogram the murderously loving Necron.

Time for dice HUEHUEHUE time.

>>17609553
Chances are Lycharia is getting tortured/turned into a penitent on our account, we need to go help her out, she vouched for us, and a pissed off Canoness will be abated when she sees us in the most holy of power armor, with a fucking flamer for a hand.

Chances are, that'll just give her a schlick spot.
My votes for the Sisters.

>[ ] Give your axe-murderer a jingle, go to the bloodbowl game.

And you guys should do it

>>17609553

[X] Lycheria left you a voice message, apparently the canoness wants her bike back

I really want to see how the Sororitas react to the awesome Grey Knightesque armor before we lose it somehow.

>>17609553
[ ] Give your axe-murderer a jingle, go to the bloodbowl game.
ooooor
[ ] Karen sent you a text, the Orks are filming a show she thinks you would enjoy.
Too n a haf boyz.... just sayin

BLOOD BOOOOOOOWL

fuck everything, do science.

bitches love science.

>>17609553

>[X] Lycheria left you a voice message, apparently the canoness wants her bike back

I want to see how this ends, probably horribly, but the curiousity is still there.

[X] Give your axe-murderer a jingle, go to the bloodbowl game.

[ ] Give your axe-murderer a jingle, go to the bloodbowl game.

[x] Give your axe-murderer a jingle, go to the bloodbowl game.

[ ] necron

its time for that bitch to get slagged.

needs more zeno love, go help the necron.

[X] Lycheria left you a voice message, apparently the canoness wants her bike back

X[ ] Try to reprogram the murderously loving Necron.

Lets go reprogram some necrons.

>>17609646
this time it's hate. She will die. We will have that harem. that is the order of things.

[ ] Try to reprogram the murderously loving Necron.

Yesssssssss I'm here on time.

[ ] Give your axe-murderer a jingle, go to the bloodbowl game.

>>17609553
[X]BLOOD BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWL

also for the reprogram party >trying to reprogram a necron before recruiting coggirl to help

i mean, REALLY.

>captcha program couldt

I M

Papa-n, quesiton. will we be able to take out helena, frederick and mika in some horrid technojumble double-date?

>>17609674
thats why we kill her, and bring the broken, battered, melted corpse to mika for science!

>>17609679
Sounds like a plan to me

>[x] Try to reprogram the murderously loving Necron.

I want to see our necron waifu.

>>17609675

You climb into the ship, the Dark Eldar looking quite happy as he flips switches in his pre-flight check.

Rustling through your stuff, wondering what it was exactly that Eight is up to, your hand grabs something from a pocket and you pull it out.

Oh shit, you’d forgotten you’d had those bloodbowl tickets.

Oh fuck, the game is TODAY IN AN HOUR!!!

Quickly you whip out your communicator, dialing in Kaleshi’s number.

You snap the device to your ear, its ringing.

Come on, come on pick up…

“Hi, it’s Kaleshi, probably out helping dad get some skulls and can’t come to th…”

SHIT!

You cancel the communication and dial it again.

“Pick up damn it…”

Only one last ring left, fuuuuuucckk…

“…Max?”

“Damn girl, answer your calls!”

“Hah! Was Max getting all weak-kneed at the prospect of me not acknowledging him?” Kaleshi laughs.

“Anyways, what’s up?” She asks.

“Well, what are you doing today? In like, an hour?”

“Hmmm?” Kaleshi pauses.

“Well… Daddy wanted to take me along with him to the big game today, why, did you have something in mind?”

“Yeah, as much as I think your dad is a swell guy, I’m taking you to that game. So throw on your sexy panties, let him know, and figure out a way to get me to… Ulagansh…? Because you are going with me.”

indeed

bloodbowl!

BLOOD BOWL!

I hope us being in GK armor won't be a problem

>>17609712
Snort Cocaine, get a lift from Doomrider!

>>17609712
SNORT COKE.
PARTY WITH DOOMRIDER
GET PICS PAPPA VECT WANTS FOR BONUS POINTS

“I am SO hot right now.”

“Just as planned. Now seriously, how are we getting to that other planet?”

The Dark Eldar pilot looks over at you, probably wondering where to go.

“Just drop me off in the nearest town.” You block off the receiver and tell him.

The craft lurches to a start, soaring through the air in a hurried frenzy of whining engines. The pilot seems to be enjoying the flight more than usual, and you guess it probably has something to do with his recent promotion.

“So yeah, how are we getting to that planet? Can Doomrider pick me up?” You ask, hoping he can.

“Oh, that will be pretty easy for me. I’ll just pull you through the warp and bring us out on the other side there.” She tells you, as though it was the same as just the everyday drive to the market.

“Doomrider is busy...” She adds.

Well, whatever, so long as it will work.

“Here good?” The pilot asks, and you brofist him as he sets the craft down. With one last wave, you pile out.

“See you around!” He shouts to you before easing the vehicle back up.

“Alright babe, I’m on the ground now. Do you need my location or something? How does this work? Is it dangerous?”

Kaleshi laughs.

“Don’t worry, don’t worry. I’m going to get ready real quick so I’ll send my dog to pick you up. No it isn’t dangerous, that’s only for psychers.”

“Uhhh… Got some bad news then…”

But she’s already hung up!

Before you can dial her again, a warp hole opens up. You peer at it curiously, nothing happening for several seconds…
Until a massive armored creature leaps forth, frothing at the mouth and growling as it bounds toward you.

“Oh fuuuucccckkkk!!!” You break to run, but too late. The creature snaps you up in its jaws before turning around and sprinting back into the warp hole.

1d20 for perils

>>17609712

Remember, we need to get some pics of Doomrider at the game for Mr. Vick.

Well, we don't need to, but bonus points.

rolled 17 = 17

well shit

rolled 8 = 8

>>17609872
ROLLING FOR NAT 1!

rolled 1 = 1

Oh boy dice time.

rolled 12 = 12

>>17609872
I am already broken.

rolled 1 = 1

>>17609872
Whirlwind Sprint like a bitch!

rolled 2 = 2

>>17609903
FUCK, EJECT, EJECT!

rolled 16 = 16

COME ON TENTACLE PENIS POWERS

rolled 12 = 12

>>17609903
>>17609908
Man be careful, the warp is perilous.

rolled 20 = 20

Wait, if we're rolling for perils of the warp, wouldn't 20 be more perils and 1 be almost none?

So aren't all these 1's good?

rolled 16 = 16

>>17609872
Rollan.

>>17609903
>>17609908
Oh god, why?!

rolled 1 = 1

>>17609922
Ah fuck me.

rolled 2 = 2

>>17609903
>>17609908

Yep. That's what I thought.

Rape train's a'comin'

TOOT TOOT!

rolled 9 = 9

>>17609928
JESUS CHRIST, I GOT A 20, 1 COMBO.

THESE PERILS ARE ALREADY WARPIN'.

rolled 20 = 20

dice gods dont fail me

Just... just stop rolling. Its over.

>>17609947
>Noko'd 20.

What.

Nice knowing you Max.

rolled 7 = 7

whelp

God damn it /tg/.

>"I feel the warp overtaking me! It is a good pain!"

rolled 4 = 4

May chaos guide my dice

rolled 20 = 20

And then max was the chaos spawn

and then max was a daemon.

rolled 4 = 4

Huehuehuehue... Lets see if I can't roll something good.

rolled 16 = 16

ROLL!!

squad Broken?

What you emerge as on the other side… Dear Emperor, you horrify yourself.

When your world finally stops spinning, you can actually focus. The giant dog thing has dropped you, though not out of wanting to perhaps, but out of necessity.

After all, you are now at least fifteen feet tall or so. Your armor flickers and glows with warp energy, barely large enough to contain your new body that strains against it. With dread, you feel your head and sure enough notice two bony horns jutting from your skull.

“Oh no. This is not good…” Your booming voice fills the small circular room.

Kaleshi pokes her head out of a door, soap in her hair, you can hear the shower steaming in the background.

“Oh!” She looks excited.

“I didn’t know you were actually a daemon prince!”

You look at yourself in a nearby mirror, and almost lose it completely. Sure enough, your mortal self is gone. In its place you now stand, a towering figure of the might of chaos embodied.

“Ho ho! Dad must like you!” She snaps her fingers as if this was more than completely all right in her book.

“I don’t like it, not one bit.” You turn to her.

“Please tell me there’s a way to change back…”

“Huh? Why would you want to do that?” Kaleshi asks.
“Gah, walk over here, I need to finish my shower.” The khornette adds quickly before ducking back inside the room.

You follow her inside, and take a seat on the toilet.

“It kind of messes with my vibe, in a very bad way. There is a way to undo it… Right?” You ask. Though you can see her sleek and well toned body through the semi-blurred glass of the shower, it really isn’t enough to take your mind off this more pressing matter.

“Well, if you REALLY want to undo it, I’m sure Tzeentch can.” Kaleshi assures you as she rinses out her silvery hair.

“Can she? Great!” You suddenly feel a whole lot better.

“Well yeah, but if we do that now we will miss the game. Besides, you look pretty bad-ass and one date out together like that would be pretty cool.”

Bad ass? Really? You check yourself in the bathroom mirror, seeing your new form for a second time. Yeah maybe, what with the spikes and the glowing red armor with gold lining and all. It isn’t necessarily a bad look, it just isn’t YOU.

Wait, what are you trying to tell yourself!? This is time to fucking panic, you don't want to be a daemon prince!!!

"Kaleshi I..."

But the shower door being slammed open cuts you off. The khornette stands there, a massive grin on her face. She looks like she's staring off into the distance, a big smile on her face.

"Quit worrying, we'll get it sorted out you wuss. Now, its time for BLOODBOWL!"

She leaps out of the shower, wrapping a towel around herself mid-air, and sprints back into her room. You hear drawers flying open as she grabs clothes out.

[ ] Go have Tzeentch change you back asap, miss bloodbowl game

[ ] Go to bloodbowl game as a daemon prince of Khorne

>>17610033
>it is you. you are the daemon prince
... I'm okay with this

[X] Go to bloodbowl game as a daemon prince of Khorne
WE PRINCE NOW

>>17610055
[+] Go to bloodbowl game as a daemon prince of Khorne

This one has my vote.

>>17610055
>Insert a Juvenile joke about Kaleshi loving the DP. Rock the Prince getup to the game

>>17610055
bloodbowl now, hit up big emp and his bitch later.

She's obviously turned on my your HUGE GIRTH

>>17610055
Why not ask Tzeentch if she can suppress the Demonness while in the real world and only let it out in the warp?

[ ] Go to bloodbowl game as a daemon prince of Khorne

Big Emps can help us out when the time comes. But I think it's time to show our true allegiance to Kaleshi.

[X] Go to bloodbowl game as a daemon prince of Khorne.

BLOOOOD BOWWWWWL!!!!!

[x] Go to bloodbowl game as a daemon prince of Khorne

>[ ] Go to bloodbowl game as a daemon prince of Khorne

Because we might see kharn there, what a guy.

Yeah, missing the game isn't an option.

I don't care if Max was given the form of the Plaguefather himself, he's going to that fucking game.

>>17610055
>[ ] Go to bloodbowl game as a daemon prince of Khorne

fuck it, at least we will be less squishy like this.and it can hopefully be reverted so we can complete our mission from the Big E

>>17610094
this.

also we look badass, and nobody will hopefully recognize us.

[x] Go to bloodbowl game as a daemon prince of Khorne
kill both teams

okay, here's the plan
go to bloodbowl
find out kaleshi's team
place a gaint fucking sum of money of them
DAEMON POWERS THEY CAN'T LOSE

Man pimpin ain't easy is it. I guess we gotta just go with it. Besides this trip is a thank you, so it's about her.

>>17610055
Are you serious Papa-N?
A psyker wouldn't be a demon prince of khorne.

>>[ ] Go to bloodbowl game as a daemon prince of Khorne
Feel as though this is appropriate
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkkYxmMj-Oo
there better be a khorne berserker version of Debauchery at the blood bowl game playin this

>>17610118
to be fair, we have been heretics already AND khorne likes us alot.

>>17610130

Why are Esh and the twins all Grey DeLisle?

>>17610130
crush is Andrew Stanton

>mfw this turn of events.

>>17610130
>Morgan Freeman narrating the fish vore-tentacle rape scenes

oh god my sides

1 fish 2 fish red fish blue fis... BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

Hopefully we get some bitching power out of this.

Becoming a daemon prince when in danger of dying would be pretty sweet.

>>17610148
because to americans twins always have to be voiced by the same person

and different voices the actor uses i suppose

>>17610118
>Canon
>HL
To prove my point, here is a list of things we did which are ridiculous.
-Befriended people of several different factions that would normally kill us on sight
-Became a psyker through SMOKING SOULS
-Became bros with Emps, Doomrider, Lorgan, a vindicare, Darkhammer, Vect, an Ork warboss, and an AI program
-Denied the greatness of the partridges.

>>17610148
Sounded better in my head after, the twins had they're more ditzy moments

Narrator: Morgan Freeman
Max: Steven Bulm
Sister Lycheria: Tabitha St. Germain
Ailia: Tara Strong
Esh: Grey DeLisle
Senna and Senda: Grey DeLisle
Kaleshi: Melissa Fahn
Tonya: Dionne Quan
Mika: Andrea Libman
Karen: Olivia D'Abo
Doomrider: Tommy Blacha
Abbadon: Christopher Sabat
Nurgle: John DiMaggio
Slaanesh: Tim Curray
Khorn: Keith David
Tzeentch: Nicole Oliver
Warboss: John DiMaggio
Emperor: Andrew Stanton
Malice: Frank Welker
DarkHammer: Tony Jay
Kais: Scott McNeal
8: Phil Lamar
Vect: J.K. Simmons
Ra'alman: Ian Holm
Tankered: Brian Blessed

>>17610182

Or how about we stay a daemon prince... but in a human form, eh, eh?

>>17610199
This list.... man, one way or another, we gotta throw in Malcom Mcdowell, Christopher Lee, Sean Connery, and Mark Hamill for character voices, that would be boss

>>17610233
I'll try and figure it out, but I cast for the character not the actor.

You walk out to her main room, and see she’s already ready to go. In place of her armor; nakedness, or dress, really the only three things you’ve seen her wear, is a jersey. It’s got all the colors of the chaos gods, and a big “# 81 DOOMRIDER” across the back and another 81 on the front. Her shorts are tantalizingly short, and you get sprung, wanna pull out your plasma gun.

“Ready to go!?” She shouts, excited, as she grabs hold of your arm. Which is now about as big around as your entire body used to be.

“Maybe?”

“Great, let’s go!!!” With one last giant grin, the khornette teleports you.

With a crackle of arcane energy, you appear again, only this time in a place truly bizarre. The sky above is a dark hue of violet, and black clouds move across it at a bizarrely fast pace. The stadium is massive, and incredibly crowded.

From the looks of it, nearly every race is represented. Though the vast majority are Orks in their red, blue, and green jerseys of their favorite players, and daemons in the same style of fashion.

“Wow, this is a pretty popular sport.” You muse, forgetting about your current predicament almost entirely.

“You mean you’ve never been to a bloodbowl game?!” She shouts, looking quite shocked.

“Can’t say I have.” You shrug, which is awkward with the giant axe clutched in your hand.

“Oh, you want to drop that off at the weapon check?” She asks.

“Please.”

Kaleshi leads you around after dropping off the axe. The weirdboy at the counter handed you a ticket to reclaim the axe on your way back out after the game.

>>17610233

Also Neil Pattrick Harris.

I have no idea who the fuck he would voice, but he has to be in there somewhere. Maybe the Vore obsessed Sea Monster?

>>17610233
im trying to think of one which Billy may's voice would fit with, but im drawing blanks...

Logan Grimnar perhaps?

Doomrider plays Bloodbowl.

Why didn't I guess that was coming?

>>17610269
eh, i imagine his voice being more of Ulfric Stormcloak's voice from Skyrim (Vladimir Kulich)

The khornette is incredibly excited, that much you can be certain. She’s sprinting hand-in-hand with you between different vendors. Some she stops at long enough to maybe even look at something before running off again.

“Hey, what are we looking for, anyways?” You finally ask, after being dragged to the twentieth or so stall.

“Huh? Oh. Bloodcorn.”

Bloodcorn?

She must have found it, because she cheers, her face alight.
The vendor, a scraggly looking old chaos marine, dishes her out a large bowl of the vibrant red snack. Kaleshi munches on it happily as you pull her away to go find your seats.

You can’t seem to find them. Mostly due to the fact you can’t read whatever crazy language half the ticket is written in.

“Hey, can you even read this shit?” You offer her the tickets and she takes them from you.

“Tickets? Why would we need tickets? I’m the daughter of Khorne, we’ve got a private box waiting for us.” She gives you a look as though this were completely obvious.

“Then what about these tickets?” You ask, looking them over.

“Eh, don’t need em. Doomrider gave them to you, didn’t he?”
“Yeah, why?”

“Just wondering. Don’t worry, he won’t care where you sit.”
With that, she takes you by the hand again and starts leading you up a massive staircase. You climb for what feels like an hour. Not that it’s a particularly hard climb, it’s just difficult to maneuver your massive frame through the crowd.

Finally, she steers you right and through an impressive looking door marked with the symbol of Khorne. You pause in the entryway.

“Is uh… Your dad here?” You ask.

“Oh no, of course not silly!” Kaleshi giggles.

“How would he coach from all the way up here?” She grins, pulling you further into the room.

>>17610259
The monster is already voiced by Ian Holme
>>17610269
I like it

>>17610280
He also plays soccer.

WHELP, looks like i'm gonna be rolling up a chaos campaign in bloodbowl after tonight's thread.

YOU FAILED TO GET A KILL IN TONIGHT'S MATCH? OUT, ALL OF YOU, YOU'RE FIRED

>>17610252
>Khorne is a coach
Nice.

Welp, I guess we know what team we're rooting for.

>>17610306
Actualy I like this even better

>>17610332
Please.
Football

>>17610332
jesus christ, creed?! That team has a huge advantage!

>>17610363
Right.

The question is whether bloodbowl is more like football or american football.

>>17610379
Bloodbowl is a more violent form of Gridiron/American Football. Always has been.

>>17610105
It's more violent Rugby, so neither.

>>17610368
You would think. But alas, we lost the 4chan winter cup.

>>17610387
i'm hoping for jousting mixed with rugby personally.

>>17610355
Da, throw in Ulfric's speech of why he fights, change it around a bit to be moar 40K esque and it go's full circle...
Ulfric's speech: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQM2DUHktMY

>tfw your favorite team lost the bloodbowl 4 years in a row

>>17610439
What was position and who was the winner again?

>>17610476
/k/ won the whole thing.

>>17610476
http://4chancup.wikidot.com/tg

would regular emperor fearing and worshipping citizens if the imperium ever visit a space marine ran church or cathedral and listen to the preachings of the chapter chaplain? would they ever have any kind of private consolation with him?

i think its just football with murder involved

You take the seat next to her, looking around in the lavish place the two of you have entirely to yourselves.

“Oh man, I’m so excited!” She is almost bouncing from the pent up energy.

As if on cue, speakers in the room crackle to life.

“Ladies and gentlemen. Daemons and Orks. Everyone else… Welcome! Welcome welcome! To the twenty thousandth annual Universal Champions Superb Owl!” The booming voice is almost drowned out by the roar of the crowd.

“I’m joined tonight, as always, by John Madden. John, tell me, what do you think the key to this game is going to be tonight?”

“Well Keith, the key to tonight’s game is going to be scoring points while not letting the other team score points. Also, neither team is going to want to lose their star players so dismembering each other is going to be crucial.”

“Straightforward as always, John. Five minutes to kickoff folks!”

Kaleshi can’t stand sitting anymore, she jumps up and rips open a nearby fridge.

“Want one?” She asks, holding out a glowing red drink in a bottle.

“Sure.” You answer, without even thinking it through.

“So hey, is Doomrider going to be joining us here tonight?” You wonder out loud absent mindedly, watching the khornette’s bent over ass as she continues to fish around the fridge.

“Are you dense? Maybe after, but the team needs their star receiver.” She finally settles for the same drink as you, plus a bowl of something that she pours over her bloodcorn.

“Doomrider plays for the daemons?”

“Well yeah, how do you think he got those tickets?” She says before stuffing her mouth with the concoction in the bowl.

oh shit, i just realised.
That stuff about Emps being supercharged at the beginning and now Max being a demon prince...

How close are we to the finale?

>>17610530
>>mfw we're going to be called by Doom Rider to take the QB position.

>>17610530
JOHN. FUCKING. MADDEN.

>not jim and bob ;_;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3dHNAMFlUI

>mfw bloodbowl

>>17610583
>/sp/ is my 2nd most frequented board

“Oh man, bloodcorn with extra blood. So good.” Kaleshi mumbles as she munches away.

You start feeling excited now, watching the field below as both teams pile onto it from their respective sides. Sure enough, you spot Doomrider out there.

“Now the key to a good kickoff return is to run without getting caught by the defense.” Madden says over the system.

“Hey Max, screw the seats let’s take this couch over.” She points to a couch sitting as close to the glass as it can.

“Sounds good.” You aren’t going to complain. The two of you crash down onto it.

Kaleshi sets the bowl aside, half empty, with a satisfied sigh.

“I can never have enough of that stuff.” She smiles as she kicks up her feet and sets them on your lap. You aren’t really a foot guy, but even you have to admit there is something alluring about her well manicured feet as you watch them bounce idly.

Both of you are quickly engrossed in watching as the game starts. The Daemons lost the toss and the Orks have elected to receive. A tall, spindly looking Daemon give the ball a hard boot which sends it sailing back into the Ork line. Apparently with enough force to knock the Ork who caught it… No wait, it blew a hole right through him and kept going.

“What a kick! What. A. Kick!” Keith shouts excitedly over the roar of the crowd.

The Orks scramble, managing to get the ball to the twenty yard line before being piled by a group of quite large and nasty looking Daemons.

Madden mumbles something excitedly, you don’t think anyone could have understood it as he squeals in delight when a Daemon slams into the Ork quarterback, knocking him hard to the ground.

“Oh that hit. I think I came!” Kaleshi shouts, taking a swig of her drink.

>>17610530
we have the place all to ourselves. Naturally, we must bang her up against the glass while watching the game.

>>17610355
>>17610456
Oh, even better, if we are to ever encounter Leman Russ, i vouch for his voice definantly be either Kodlack Whitemane's voice or Ysgarmor's, seems appropriate if you ask me

>>17610665
>Orkland Raiderz

I'm sorry, but did the Orkz already lose? Oh, that's right. The game isn't even over yet. In fact, it's only halftime. Does not having the lead at halftime count as a loss? Is that what you're saying? Because if you're saying that I can assure you that you're wrong. Why would you make this topic when the game is still on? The Orkz are still playing right now and they have been the best team in the Galaxy for how many years now? They're playing one of the worst teams in the League who just happen to have a lead because they're feeding off the energy of playing in The Warp. But you know what? They still fucking suck. The Orkz are one of the best fucking teams in the League, they went 13-3 last year and would of won the Superb Owl if the kicker didn't choke. Maybe you should shut the fuck up before you make retarded topics like this. You know why? Because you're going to be embarrassed when the Orkz wins and someone bumps this topic. Oh look at that, the Demons just stepped out of bounds short of the 1st down when they needed to get one, just like the Squats did. Are you a fucking drunk? Are you retarded? Are you autistic? You are a fucking idiot and you should never make a topic on this board again and I'm fucking serious. I almost have a feeling you're the only guy making all these anti-Ork topics because you're a faggot hater who doesn't like the team because they're good. Fuck you, be good at something in YOUR life and then maybe try to troll these fucking teams on the board, like I give a fuck. It's so easy to spot out your threads now, you're a retard. Always doing stupid shit like this. Why don't you try to be a good poster? Just for once? For once in your fucking life try not to make a topic like this. That's just you, you're always right at getting it wrong. Fuck you. You are nothing.

>>17610745
Haha, oh wow. Is this some adapted copypasta from /sp/ or something?

>>17610745
cool story, bro

>>17610745
someone forgot his meds today

>>17610671
This

>>17610745
>I love you, based anon

You try some of your own, and are actually pretty surprised that you find it quite to your liking.

“Hey, what is this?” You ask, holding the bottle up.

“Oh. Chaos Spawn blood.” Kaleshi tells you like it was just everyday water.

Gross… But you can’t help yourself and drink more, it is pretty damn good.

The game is really starting to heat up now, the Orks having been held to a field goal. The Daemons seem content enough with this, though Khorne is busying himself shredding papers and snapping clipboards in half as seven or so Daemons try to calm him down.

Doomrider goes on a long passing route, and the quarterback finds him deep in the backfield. With an agile leap and juke, the flaming headed daemon makes the rest of the run to the touchdown in a half-dance, half-run, before spiking the ball and raising his arms to the roar of the crowd. A yellow flag lands at his feet.

“Excessive celebra…” The ref never gets a chance to finish, one of the Daemon’s offensive line belts him in the head, crumpling it inward. No one seems to care.

You find yourself really starting to get into it now, cheering and booing along with the cute khornette alongside you. Until things start to go south, and the first and second string quarterback for the Daemons are both knocked out. Well, decapitated…

A whistle blows.

“And with that, we end the fourth quarter. Score tied at twenty one-twenty one as we go into overtime!” Keith seems excited.

“You know Keith, the key to overtime is to win the game.” Madden adds.

Kaleshi bites at her nails nervously, watching intently as the Daemons take the field again. They get their chance at a scoring drive first.

“He drops back, in the pocket, sending four and… OH!” Keith shouts as the Daemon quarterback gets hit from both sides, which literally tears him in two.

>>17610795
RIP Keith

>>17610795
put in teboq

“Not a good display of an offensive line there, not good at all.”

“No Keith, you can’t afford to get hit like that. When you get hit after dropping back, you lose yardage.”

“Fuck!” Kaleshi yells, slamming her fists into the glass which she is now pressed against.

“Fuck fuck FFUUUCCCKK!!!!”

“Uh, what’s wrong?” You ask, not knowing all the rules and expecting something went poorly.

“He was the last quarterback, we’re going to have to forfeit!” She bites her lip angrily.

But then… She slowly turns around, staring at you hard, eyes alight with a crazy fire.

“Hey now, I seriously hope you don’t do this…” You start trying to back away slowly.

Too late, she’s already got her hands on you.

“Sorry Max.” She grins apologetically, “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. And also I’m not going home 18-1 again.”

“Oh no…”

“Dad, we’ve got one last player!” She yells, her voice shattering the glass and loud enough that Khorn can hear her from his position down on the field.

“I implore you to reconsideeeeeerrrrrrr!!!!” ...She’s already thrown you out into the open air.

You sail downward, overtop the cheering crowd below.
Thankfully, Doomrider catches you before you can land, and rather than crash down hard he sets you down lightly.

“T-thanks…” You tell him, feeling shaky.

“DON’T MENTION IT. NOW, CAN YOU THROW?!” He asks, handing you a ball.

Well, you did qualify pretty high with grenades…

“Too late, get out there!” Khorne boots you from behind, sending you flailing out onto the field. The players huddle around you, eager to hear your play.

>Well /tg/, it’s second and 14, what are you guys going to run?

>>17610827
The QB is named Keith too? What a coincidence!

>>17610864
do what a chaos team should do in bloodbowl.

KILL THE ENTIRETY OF THE ENEMY TEAM.

also do we got any scrolls left? wizard power, yo.

>>17610864

>>17610876
Well, i have no idea how Rugby, American Football & Blood Bowl play, so i'll let you guys with those tactics

>>17610878
agreed. ignore the ball and butcher the enemy! for, like, Khorne and stuff!

run the ball in your a goddamn daemon prince

>>17610864
bloodbowl doesn't have quarterbacks.

does that make us the big guy, or just a thrower?

either way RIP AND TEAR

>>17610864
>No Madden recommended plays.
Well shit. Just try to get the ball to Doomrider.

>>17610864
I meant your OWN 14...

>Well /tg/, it’s second and 14, what are you guys going to run?

Welp, I don't know anything about tactics. How about we just get ahead as violently as we can? It seems we are throwing, so we'll just make the whole demon team carry Doomrider through the orks, who can hopefully handle our thrown ball, earning us a touchdown.

I guess. I'm really not sure.

>>17610864
>>“I implore you to reconsideeeeeerrrrrrr!!!!”
looks like someone has watched Kung Pow: Enter the Fist
<<mfw

Madden recommended plays:

>throw the ball

>run the ball yourself

>give ball to running back

rolled 8 = 8

>>17610946

We run. We are a goddamn Daemon Prince. The orks don't know what hit 'em-

>>17610864
Stay classy Papa-N.

>>17610864
Krump the orks in your path and run it.

>MFW I've been reading Daemon-Max's lines in Blum's Vilgax voice

>>17610946
Run ball yourself

KILL.MAIM.BURN

>>17610946
Fuck it. I'm throwing it downfield.

Is that Doom? I think he's triple-covered. You know what? **** it. I'm throwing it downfield.

Yeah, I see Jones open on the flank. But **** that. Dumpoff passes are for ***gots. I'm ****ing Sexy Maxy. I can get that ball in there. And, even if I can't, I bet I'll be able to pull it off the next go round. I like throwing the ball long. It makes my dick hard.

What's that? I should throw a quick slant? **** that. That's gay. Button hook? Gay. Flare out? Gay. Screen pass? Kevin Spacey gay. This is ****ing football. You can't just expect wins to come to you. You can?t massage that ****. You gotta grab that game by the throat and rape the ever-loving **** out of it. You think a 5-yard out is gonna win you a game? You're a pussy. This ain?t Yarrick running this offense. Sexy Maxy's got the arm. The dragon. You gotta unleash the dragon.

>>17610946
>throw the running back
>run
>catch running back
>TOUCHDOWN

>>17610960
>we run
>doomrider gets our black
>everyone else kills/maims/burns the enemy team

“In the shotgun, he drops back, sets… It’s a fake! He’s ducking around the left side, the line opening up a nice hole…”

First 1d100 determines yardage gained on run.

If an odd number under 20 you lose that many yards.

run it

rolled 69 = 69

GOGOGOGOGOGO

rolled 20 = 20

>>17610990
Okay, I'm throwing it. Nice. Look how far it went. I look good. I bet I made that Orkz cheerleader wet her panties with that throw. She ****ing wants me. I bet she likes it over a stair railing. I can hit that with 100% accuracy, my dear. Mmmmmm. I am delicious.

Oh ****. Looks like Samuel caught it. Again. Oh well. It still felt ****ing great to throw that ****. Tell me that wasn't one of the prettiest passes you ever saw. You know what? Not only am I gonna throw it long the next time we hit the field. I'm gonna throw it even longer. Harder. You see that kid in wheelchair sitting in the end zone bleachers? Im gonna nail him right between the ****ing eyes with a Sexy Maxy fastball. Why? Because I can.

This is Max Decarus we're talking about here. We're talking 210 lbs. of twisted steel and sex appeal. I'm not just a gunslinger. I?m a cumslinger. Throwing that ball long tells all the Rexettes that I am ****ing out there. On the edge. Where I gotta be. The ladies love the danger. The unpredictability. Oh, maybe I'll tease them with a pretty touch pass every now and again. But then I'm gonna go right back to pumping that ball out for all it's worth. It tells them I throw like I ****. That's how we do things in the sexy business.

Tell me you're not turned on right now. I am.

YOU GOTTA UNLEASH THE DRAGON

rolled 12 = 12

>>17611005
NUFFLE GUIDE MY COCK

>>17611017
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

rolled 52 = 52

d

rolled 19 = 19

>>17611005


TIME FOR LANDDRAGONS

rolled 66 = 66

QUICK, SHOVE THE BALL DOWN SOME CULTIST'S THROAT AND THROW HIM INTO THE ENDZONE

>>17611017

Oh fuck, Slaanesh had her hand in this, I know!

rolled 19 = 19

Guys stop rolling Noko'd

rolled 47 = 47

>>17611059
fucking make me

>>17611021
YES

>>17611066
its d100
thats bad

rolled 43 = 43

>>17611091
damn dice

rolled 93 = 93

>>17611017
It's telling that our first roll was 69

>>17611017
>>17611049

60yd gain!

>>17611091
Good thing it's both an invalid noko roll and not the first roll.

“He’s going! This could be big! Yes, he’s through the defenders and still going strong! Three on his heels but damn this boy can run! Down to the fifty, into Ork territory now! Still going! OHHH!!! And he’s taken down at the Ork’s own eighteen yard line! What a play! What a run!”

"LAAAANDDDDD DRAAAAGGOONNNNN!!!!" The Daemon crowd booms while the Ork's yell in disbelief.

“That is how you run the football, Keith. You just put one foot in front of the other and run.”

You groan as you pick yourself up off of the field, and despite the pain from being hit by two charging Orks, you feel elated. Your first play in bloodbowl, ever, at the greatest game in the universe, and you’ve just run a sixty nine yard play!

“NICE ONE!” Doomrider shouts, slapping you on the back happily. It’s now first and eighteen, you haven’t scored yet…

“I like that number.” Slaanesh grins as it sips something from a glass, crossing it’s legs which causes it’s bulge to show even more.

“You would, wouldn’t you.” Nurgle laughs, downing some of his own drink.

>nice one, what play do you run now?

>>17611112
UNLEASH THE DRAGON

>>17611112
A short pass down the side. The orcs will be really pissed and will try to rush us, so rushing won't work.

>>17611112
JOHN MADDEN'S PLAYS ARE...

>>17611146
>mfw

>>17611112
Give Doomrider ball, throw Doomrider.

we are 15ft tall we give the ball to the smallest guy on our team we then throw the fucker.

>>17611112

Play it, small, fast and aggressive. No need to fuck this up by going on for something needlessly big, like charging through gazillion orks.

>>17611153

Kinda giving you guys some freedom to make a play on it but...

>Run up right side

>Short pass left

>Doomrider option

>QB sneak

rolled 11 = 11

yeah throw down the side to doom rider

>>17611160
>Give Doomrider ball, throw Doomrider.
yes
or throw doom rider throwing you

get a picture of doomrider

>>17611178
THROW DOOMRIDER. WHO IS HOLDING THE BALL.

alternately, how many bear leaves does it take to make a daemon prince roid rage?

>>17611160
Do this.

>>17611178
Is there a HUGE demon TE named GRONK?

Get the ball to him

I vote for the Doomrider option

>>17611160
LAUNCH ME MAX

>>17611194
>>17611160
THROW DOOMRIDER!!!!!!!!

>>17611160
DO IT

“In the shotgun, it looks like he’s going to go for the rest of it on first. Doomrider goes left, double covered. Dropping back, pump fake… WOW! Barely manages to break a tackle! Under pressure now, he’s got to get the ball out! Doomrider breaks one cover… Runs back… Oh, he’s grabbed Doomrider! He throws, and….!!!”

Roll 1d20

Anything under a 5 is a loss in that number of yards. First roll is what I take.

rolled 16 = 16

Oh hey, Heretical Love again.
Seeing as fishing isn't an option, clearly we must...

LEAVE BEARS

rolled 17 = 17

DICE FOR THE DICE GOD

>>17611254
Nuffle and all dice gods bless my roll!

>>17611276
nuffle is not amused by your bullshit

rolled 6 = 6

>>17611254
rollan for nat 1

Oh god that is the best possible action we could have taken. I'm willing to bet that is one of the best actions which will ever be taken.

Hail Emperor mother fuckers! All or Nothing! Blood and Thunder! We are the best god damn fisherman, for we are Max Decarus, The Fucking Land Dragon.

>>17611268

Guys, this the roll he will take. We are safe.

“What a throw! Doomrider completes the… Well I guess it’s a pass? Down to the two yard line, and for yet another first down! I’ll tell ya folks, in all my years watching this sport, this! This is what bloodbowl is all about!”

The team all knock the grinning Doomrider on the helmet, and you can’t help but cheer along. Thankfully your demonic powers have given you quite the arm, as required to throw Doomrider that far. The crowd is roaring all around you, whipped up into a frenzy.

This feeling… This is amazing. You feel like the king of everything.

“NICE PLAY MAN, YOU WERE RIGHT, THAT DID WORK!” Doomrider gives you a friendly shake.

“All right guys, here’s what we’re going to do now…” The players huddle around you as you talk.

Madden’s plays:
>Full back smash
>QB leap
>quick pass to Doomrider
>fake run to pass

>Full back smash

>>17611330
QB LEAP.
Q. B. LEAP.

WE CAN FUCKING LEAP SIX FEET.

FUCK PHYSICS.

rolled 16 = 16

QB LEAP

>>17611330
full back smash.

KHORNE DEMANDS MORE BLOOD

also it's bloodbowl tradition that if you're about to win you waste time killing the other team so they are fucked for the rest of the season

>>17611330
do we have wings or no?

leap or i say give it to the rb behind us take a knee and have hime run up our back and jump over the ork line

>>17611330
Full back smash sounds the most RIP AND TEAR!

>>17611276
I fucked up my roll, but a good on beat me to it anyway, so I wasn't worried.

QB leap

We are Khornate, right?

So "Fus Ro Dah"-ing behind ourselves to shoot like a cannonball would be bad, right?

rolled 12 = 12

QB Leap of Destiny, while kicking the lead defender's head off. Nothing will give Kaleshi a bigger slick spot.

>>17611330
SMASH!

>>17611416
On a slightly unrelated note, how many of you would like to see a 40k version of bloodbowl?

rolled 94 = 94

>>17611428
A different sport maybe.
i dunno

>>17611428
Oh god yes.

>>17611369
I CHANGE MY MIND.

If qb LEAP is what I think it is, then that.

Only once there is a possibility to do a fucking swan dive over daemons and orks in prince attire.

[x] swan div- qb leap!

“Setup in the I formation…. Quick hand-off to Kharn, he runs forw… Holy shit he’s got a chainaxe!”

Sure enough, Kharn the fullback is busying himself slamming the axe into Orks as he runs forwards, howling madly with glee.

…He gets the two yards with ease.

“TOUCHDOWN DAEMONS!” You hear the announcer yell.

“Unfortunately, Keith, weapons have been banned since the Mike Pereria convention on them. The touchdown still stands because the Daemons would probably kill anyone who tried to overturn it, but Kharn will have to sit out the rest of the game per the rules.”

That doesn’t stop the crowd form chanting his name.

“Kharn! Kharn Kharn!” They yell.

Now, the defense just has to keep the Orks from scoring a touchdown and you’ve got this in the bag, as the kick was good.

>You guys bored with bloodbowl or do you want the Orks to score so you have to make another drive?

>>17611428
eh, i dunno. the lack of chainswords and bolters and whatnot kind of hurts the transition

>>17611428
no question

the die will doom us if we continue, they have been nice so far...

>>17611454
We've won, I'd say. Move on to boning Kaleshi with deamonic 'radical inquisitor'.

>>17611454
finish wiping out the Orks and get back to our Khornette, and what happened to the other two anyway?

we are the best athlete

>>17611454
As long as we can tear someone in half for Kaleshi, I'm happy. What better gift to give the daughter of Khorne then more BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

yeah stick our sausage in her mcmuffin

It wouldn't be Heretical love if we quit while we were ahead. Then again we don't get ahead much. But yeah more FRIDAY NIGHT BLOODBOWL!

rolled 2 = 2

>>17611454
1 = Demons force a 3 n out
2 = Orkson Palmer hits up Jarius Heyward-Ork for a bomb setting up a Darren McOrk TD run

>>17611465
well, like fantasy bloodbowl it would obviously be an AU, and who says they couldn't have them?

Less bowl.

Questions why does Blood Bowl not have sudden death overtime rules?

>>17611591

I vote the game be continued if second overtime leads to sudden death.

>>17611591
>Sudden death overtime
Yes.
YES!

>>17611520
Before we was out we should Tebow on the sidelines, thanking the God-Emporer for this opportunity

Shit, they scored…

“Fucking shit!” Khorne yells, throwing a chair at the defensive line.

“OK MAX, TIME TO SHINE!” Doomrider helps you to your feet off of the bench.

You look up to Khorne’s personal box and see Kaleshi nervously biting at her nails as she watches. Fuck, you have to win this game, for her.

The team crowds around you on the field as you take over at your own ten.

“Right guys, we are going to finish this shit here. Grox! You and Gronk just fucking kill whoever tries to cover Doomrider. We’re going for the dragon here. Doomrider, its coming right at you buddy.”

“GOT IT, WE’LL END IT HERE!” He grins.

“Back in the shotgun, it looks like they are setting up to go long here.” Keith commentates.

“I’d say they are going to throw the ball.” Madden agrees.
You drop back, the massive linemen in front of you barely managing to hold back the onslaught of charging Orks. You have to give Doomrider enough time to make it downfield.

Shit! Two Nobs break through, headed right at you!

You break right, just in time to avoid them.

Through the corner of your eye you see Gronk punch the head clean off of a defender, and Doomrider looking back over his shoulder.

Now or never.

You throw with all of your might.

The ball sails through the air, you watch it until you get hit from the side and knocked to the ground.

Did it work?

The stadium is incredibly silent for a few moments.
Until…

“Pass completed by number eighty one, Doomrider! TOUCHDOWN DAEMONS!” Keith yells, and you can hear the excitement in his voice and the crowd’s collective one as it erupts into noise.

“FUCKING NICE THROW, FUCKING NICE!” Khorne yells as he helps you to your feet, slapping you hard on the back.

Above you see Kaleshi cheering for you.

You spot Doomrider running back, a massive grin on his flaming skeletal face.

The world is almost torn asunder at your epic bro-fist as his knuckles collide with your own.

“NICE THROW!” He yells.

“Nice catch!” You return.

>>17611681
This is my soundtrack for tonight's heretical love.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imamcajBEJs&list=PLDF6EE5378D2F0D5D&index=1&feature=plpp_
video

>>17611706

Both of you sit down and watch, which is all you can do now as the defense takes the field yet again.

…And lets the Orks hammer in another one.

“Fuck!” You shout, but then you notice your team all grabbing things off of a table.

Doomrider approaches, holding a plasma pistol and a daemonic axe.

“Hey, what’s going on now?” You inquire.

“SUDDEN DEATH MAN!” Doomrider looks downright joyful.

“Huh, what’s that mean?” You ask as you stand up.

“SIMPLE, MY FRIEND! KILL EVERYONE ON THE OTHER TEAM WITHOUT DYING YOURSELF!”

"Oh..."

Looking down at the table now, you grab...

[ ] Double chain-fists

[ ] Daemon axe and flamer

[ ] Plaguesword and plasma pistol

[x] Double chain-fists

>>17611742
DOUBLE CHAIN FISTS

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE

>>17611742
Daemon axe and flamer.

>>17611742
AXE AND FLAMER!

WE MAKE GOOD TEAM!

>>17611742
BEST. SUDDEN DEATH. EVER.

DAEMON AXE AND FLAMER

Max is a 15 foot tall demon prince.
>[X] Double frucken chain-fists

>>17611742
[X] Plaguesword and plasma pistol
Last I remember Papa plays nurgle.
>Papa-n
>Papa-NURGLE

Axe and flamer!

double chain fists!

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!!

fishing pole we are best fisherman

DOUBLE. CHAIN. FISTS.

>>17611742
can't we chainfist and axe?

KHORNE DEMANDS MORE RIP AND TEAR

[X] Plaguesword and plasma pistol

>>17611814
ALL OF MY MONEY!

This.

FUCKING FISHING POLE

FAILING THAT OUR BEAR HANDS

[x] fishing pole

The best fisherman in the universe!

Summon the Nemesis Axe and Mind bullets, Flame On as well!

>>17611742
CHAIN FISTS, THE MOST EPIC MIDDLE FINGER EVER!!!!!

For the love of god, chain fists.

Someone say Fishing Pole?

IT'S TIME TO

[x]CHAIN FISTS
and
[x] fishing pole

we are the best fisherman

Chain fist, whatever the hell that is.

Use the biggest spikiest demon you can find as a weapon.

HARD MODE: Use Khorne as a weapon.

>>17611907
yep

CHAIN
FISTS
NOTHING WRONG WITH EM WE CANT FIX WITH OUR HANDS!
RIP AND TEAR!

>>17611930
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD MODE:
Use Khorne as a bait.

“I like where this game is going.” You reply with an evil smirk.
Oh fuck it, you slip into the chainfists. Two of your teammates help you out, and get them secured.

After, you grab the daemon axe and the flamer off the table.
Kaleshi appears suddenly at your side, grinning ear to ear.

“This is the greatest game ever. But you had better not die here, I’ll be pissed if you do.” With that, she sets a pair of sunglasses on you and sticks a lit cigar in your mouth.

“Hey, where did you get a cigar?” You wonder.

“Oh that? Creed handed it to me and told me to give it to you, he seemed REALLY pushy now that I think about it…” She trails off, her face screwed up as she thinks back.

“Well, tell him thanks. I guess?”

Kaleshi grins, before giving you a kiss on the lips. This causes you to panic slightly, as Khorne is standing right fucking there, but he doesn’t seem to give a single fuck today. He just wants a ring.

“HAHA, TIME FOR SUDDEN DEATH!” Doomrider cackles, stepping back onto the field.

Across from him stand the entirety of the Ork team, looking tough and mean in their ‘eavy arma, powerklaws and bit choppas flashing in the sun.

With one last kiss from Kaleshi, you follow the team back onto the field, lining up opposite the Orks.

“Now the rules are pretty simple for sudden death.” Madden announces, “You just have to kill the other team without dying yourself.”

A whistle blows, and without hesitation, you charge forward.
Both sides meet in a frenzy of slashing blades and roaring gunfire. It’s a bloodgasm.

You lash out again and again with the daemon axe, which cuts into Orks easily, severing one entirely through the middle. Though your celebration is cut short when you see several of your own team falling to the ground, and a particularly large Nob makes you his target.

>>17611930
This.

All of my this.

>>17611967
Oh god.

A titan is going to appear from that Cigar.

CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED

[x]fishing pole
>>17611950
ohgodwat.jpg

Feh, using a Daemon as your waepon is pansy mode. What you really need to do is use one of the OTHER team's players!

>>17611967
THE CIGAR.

TOSS IT IN THE NOB'S EYE

THEN FETCH HIS SKULL FOR KHORNE

>>17611989
worse.
you remember how Emps got supercharged at the beginning of the thread and now that Max is in daemon form?

Shit is about to go down.

>>17611967
DROP THE CIGAR, QUICK!

>>17611967
>MFW Creed has our back

Lashing out with the flamer, you watch as the fire nicks at the Ork, who doesn’t seem overly bothered…

His powerklaw knocks the axe right out of your hand, and the flamer runs dry.

Time for chainfists!

With a massive punch, you drive one fist right into the nob’s stomach. He grunts as the weapon pierces right into him, shredding him from the inside out.

Another runs at you, and you swing the fist into him, drawing a nasty gaping wound across his throat.

Shit, another’s got you from behind!

You can’t do anything in time, he’s going to smash you with his choppa from behind!

*BZZT*

What the fuck?

A miniature baneblade turret extends itself from the cigar, takes aim, and sends a high-explosive shell straight into the Ork’s head, where both explode in a fireball of blood and skull chunks.

>Creed takes a long, pleasurable draw of his cigar as he watches.

>”Fuck I love it when a good plan comes together.” He grins.

Wasting no time, you delve right back into the fight. You notice Doomrider slashing and shooting, clearly having the time of his life out here.

With one last powerful thrust, you drive your chainfist into the mouth of the last remaining Ork. Blood spews from the back of his cranium as the chainfist burrows right through it, spraying you with Ork blood and brains.

The crowd goes from an impossibly loud roar, to pure fucking insanity.

Khorne can’t contain himself, leaping up onto a table and facing the Ork side of the stadium.

“Suck it you green skinned fucks! I am made of fucking rings!” He howls, lewdly thrusting his pelvis in their direction.

“Max!” You hear Kaleshi yell, and you catch her as she leaps into your arms.

“Well there you have it folks, the Daemons have just won this year’s Suberb Owl!” The announcer, Keith, sounds ecstatic.

“I love this game!” Madden yells.

>>17612106
CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED

if the superb owl isn't actually some sort of super demon bird, I will be very disappointed

>>17612106

>>17612106

>Creed takes a long, pleasurable draw of his cigar as he watches.

>”Fuck I love it when a good plan comes together.” He grins.

Papa-N, I want to have your children. Right here, right now.

Use our coach to kill the other coach.

>>17612106
>destroying the skull

WHY U DO DIS CREED

>>17612112
cue Guile's Theme

red solo cup

Yo man, get a winning team picture for Vect!

Khorne gets the team rounded up and leads you all up onto a massive stage just set up.

Kaleshi is still clinging to you happily, mumbling something about Ork dome babies or something.

"What a game, John, what a game. I haven't seen bloodbowl that good in ten millenia."

"It was a great game of bloodbowl!" Madden agrees.

They are both at a podium on the stage now, Khorne standing near them.

"It's with great honor that I declare the Daemons as this year's champions of the universe and present them with the superb owl!" Keith raises his hand to the sky with Khorne's.

As if on cue, a massive being of unspeakable horror descends into the stadium. It's six heads snap viciously as its nine wings flap to keep it from plummeting straight down. In unison its twelve beaks open and utter a song that would have turned you stark raving mad were you still a mere mortal. It's black feathers ruffle as it finally lands, and Khorne throws one ARM around it.

"Rings for the ring king!" He shouts, as all of you are presented with a ring detailing your victory here today in solid gold.

I've gotta go grab some chow, but if I'm able to, I'll throw up an overtime thread tonight.

No promises though, got to finish some mad homework first yo.

>>17612421

Papa-N,

If you have Max... Y'know... Give that ring to Kaleshi... And y'know... She accepts it as an engagement ring...

I think we would all be okay with that.

>>17612421
>Kaleshi's face when

>>17612496
You'll get your chance to pick the girl to finish this story with, but not this day.

>>17612496
no. ALL OF THEM. This is wish-fulfillment fantasy goddammit, why should we limit ourselves to just one?

whelp, time for some good ole street fighter while i wait for overtime

>>17612637
There's gonna two endings, the popular vote picks one fine xeno, or not, babe(s), the other is the harem ending.

Bump

>>17612878
can't bump after autosage bro.

yea you have to pick one girl but there will be a harem end as well.

people still like Kaleshi?

also, fuck this Michigan weather, people don't know how to drive in snow

>>17612978
Yes people still like kaleshi

>>17612978
Papa, people don't know how to drive at all. When I was in the north I saw as many dipshits as I do now in NC.
Also still like Kaleshi.

>>17612978
>still no coggirl love
damn it people, THE MACHINE IS STRONG AND THE SPIRIT IS WILLING

Just an idea but shouldn't we show /v/ these threads. If katawa shojo could get made.... Think about it Heretical Love visual novel...

>>17613022

My gfs family acts like I'm some kind of crazy norseman (I am) because I drive when I want and dgaf about snow. I drive an old v8 4x4 pickup though, and they all drive econoboxes like they did in huehuehue land. I've already pulled her mom out of a snow bank twice and winter isn't even in full swing here yet really.

Seems like some people still want that mechanical girl love eh?

>>17613064
>/v/ getting shit done
>1945
>ISHYDDTSFBS
Seriously though, I thought shi/tg/getting done was part of us. I'm sure /tg/ could do this.

>>17613064
OH GOD YES

>>17613104
/tg/ is more like "We get shit started and sometimes get shit done"

>>17613098
coggirl into yanderecron into robotic threesome. it must be done.

>>17613064

I wouldn't trust /v/ with it... /a/ maybe, but not /v/

I have some shit written for Eight in Ren'py already actually, but haven't had much chance to work on it. A short little backstory for him.

It will probably be text only because I'm a terrible drawfag.

>>17613121
but where does crisis suit-tan fit in?

>>17613064

>>17613156
With the tyranid option

>>17613156
>>17613199
alternately with the DE twins, who are too into some S&M.
so i guess they could teach her

>>17613098

Of course we want more mech girl. We want more of -ALL- the girls, excluding the canoness.

Also, may I ask what part of Michigan? It's horrid over here in Eaton Rapids. Our city's snow plows are basically tricycles with a snow-shovel duct-taped on. I've been called out to save two people already.

hm, y'know, one thing i'd like to see is some Tallaran action, seriously, not once have i ever seen anybody right anything about the tals

>>17613199
speaking of, where is my nid waifu?

>>17613217
but then when will we have triple eldar combo?

>>17613242
>Implying it won't be KalXEsh

it's perfect

Hey Papa-N, are we ever gonna see Bronifex or "Nurgles special gift" that Kaleshi mentioned earlier?

Also, my friend lives in Kzoo. I think. Haven't heard anything about it being horrible yet...

>>17613224

tri cities.

I think its too late for a real nid girl, being that we are closing in toward the end of HLQ.

>>17613274

brofex with Ailia thread

Nurgle's gift in overtime

>>17613291
>we are closing in toward the end of HLQ.
Shit.
We are going to do all travels with the girls n stuff Papa?

>>17613320

>mfw OVERTIME

>1798, cmmente
No, captcha, I don't think cement was invented in 1798...

>>17613291
>being that we are closing in toward the end of HLQ.
On the last thread I will have this on repeat.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o22eIJDtKho&feature=player_embedded#!

>>17613328

I want a chance to work on this VN of Eight's story, but maybe we will have a space pimp thread eventually or something.

overtime won't be for a while yet, need to cook and then homework

>>17613359
actually according to the wiki
"Modern hydraulic cements began to be developed from the start of the Industrial Revolution (around 1800)"

Papa you gonna tweet when we go into overtime?

>>17613463
yea

While we're at the game we need to take pictures for BONUS POINTS with the twins father.

Alroight we got 'nuff boyz ta go inta overtoime?

>>17614548
Heretical WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I'm here

Let's fucking do this.

>>17614548
yesyesyesyesyesyesyes..................

Aw YEAAAH

>>17614548
Hell yeah

im ere, lets do this

You have my Keytar good sir!

>17614648

'ere we gooooo

>>17614648
New thread boyz. Go git em.