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  • File : 1327094041.jpg-(314 KB, 737x720, 1318390726122.jpg)
    314 KB Warhammer 40: Heretical Love Part XVIII Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)16:14 No.17609064  
    Link to previous threads are at the bottom of this page: http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Heretical_Love

    Twitter to find out next thread date/time: HereticalLoveQ

    Gertrude had been a servant girl for the Golden Throne as far back as she cared to remember. Her old bony hands knew every step, every inch of the gleaming monument.

    She was blessed, at least in her own mind, to be able to see the Emperor every day as she cleaned. Though he was in a horrible state, it bothered her not. He was her Emperor, and she venerated him.

    So it was with great, incomprehensible shock, that she stared upon entering the throne room.

    Where once sat a shriveled, almost corpse like husk...

    Now sat a gleaming, glowing being of unimaginable power. The Emperor still sat, having not moved, but no longer wretched looking.

    "My... My Emperor..." She could barely whisper, her legs failing her and Gertrude crumpled down onto the floor, unable to do anything but stare.

    Did she just see the faint flash of a smile? No, impossible...
    "Two showers..." Senna stares, completely spaced out, into the mug of something hot and steaming in front of her.

    "It took two showers to wash it all off..." She doesn't even make a move to take a drink.

    "Serves you right for injecting me with that stuff." You laugh, looking out the porthole at the crew securing the ship back in it's home berth.

    A knock on the door.

    "Whats up?" You ask, pulling it open.

    Teach is scratching his dark beard, his tough eyes giving the room a once over.

    "Did you guys get attacked last night? It looks like a damn murder scene in here."

    "Never mind that." You tell him, leading him out of the room and back into the hallway. Light streams in through the oval panes of glass set in the side of the ship.

    "Should I be... Uh... Worried about the condition I brought this thing back in?"

    "Yes." Teach says simply, raising an eyebrow.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)16:14 No.17609070

    "Doesn't mean you have to go tell him about it right off the bat. He's still pretty swamped with paperwork from what I hear."

    Hmm... As the old proverb goes, you could put off today what you could accomplish tomorrow...

    [ ] No, I'd better let him know now.

    [ ] I'll uh, take a raincheck on telling him.
    >> Dave !DaveeDila6 01/20/12(Fri)16:17 No.17609094
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    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)16:20 No.17609120
    [x] I'll uh, take a raincheck on telling him
    >> Shas'Vre Kir'qath 01/20/12(Fri)16:21 No.17609129
         File1327094479.jpg-(78 KB, 522x399, 1276676482626.jpg)
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    I made it in time!

    >[X] No, I'd better let him know now
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)16:22 No.17609136
    [X] No, I'd better let him know now.

    Man up on what we did. Maybe he can be mollified by telling him that we took the girls shopping and they're currently tired and so won't be bothering him today either.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)16:24 No.17609152
    [X] No, I'd better let him know now.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)16:25 No.17609160
    [ ] No, I'd better let him know now.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)16:27 No.17609177
    [ ] No, I'd better let him know now.
    Dude doesn't seem like the kind of guy that likes to be
    bullshitted. Not like there is a person like that.
    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/20/12(Fri)16:28 No.17609193
         File1327094915.jpg-(83 KB, 640x360, happy-happy-1.jpg)
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    New HL, Oh joy!
    [ ] I'll uh, take a raincheck on telling him.
    better to take our ass kicking now then later
    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/20/12(Fri)16:30 No.17609207
    DOH! totally meant

    [ ] No, I'd better let him know now.
    >> Shas'Vre Kir'qath 01/20/12(Fri)16:31 No.17609221
         File1327095080.jpg-(8 KB, 185x273, 1281597124461.jpg)
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    This is the best way to suffer through a hangover and the first one I've caught from the beginning since it started. Fuck yeah!
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)16:31 No.17609223
    [ ] No, I'd better let him know now.
    hey we didnt crash it thats all he asked
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)16:33 No.17609244
    Oh yeah, just in time for the start

    [X] No, I'd better let him know now.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)16:34 No.17609252
         File1327095243.jpg-(59 KB, 288x396, 1317019585854.jpg)
    59 KB
    Let him know. Explain the reason for the ships condition like pic related.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)16:35 No.17609263
    “I should probably just get it over with, shouldn’t I?” You ask, as though inquiring about your own funeral, which this could likely result in.

    “Maybe? Vect can be pretty reasonable when he wants to be, maybe you’ll catch him in a good mood?” Teach shrugs.

    Somehow you doubt you will…

    The twins, upon hearing what you are about to do, inform you that they have to go do some "girl stuff" and are gone before you can protest. Damn those two, making you take the fall for this...

    A secretary waits where you were told to go. Vect seems to be in an office rather than his own personal study.

    “You got an appointment?” She asks in her nasally voice as she pops a bubble of gum and files her nails.

    “No, well, not exactly. Can you just let Vect know I brought his daughters back safe?”

    The secretary sighs, as though you’d just asked if she would do some arduous back breaking labor for you without getting paid for it.

    “Mr. Vect.” She says, pushing down an intercom, “This guy here says he brought your daughters back or something.”

    “Parker?” You hear Vect ask through the system.

    “Yeah.” She says in her drawn out accent.

    “It’s Max, actually…” She doesn’t seem to care, though.

    “Send him right in!”

    You gulp as the door opens, a torrent of wispy smoke billowing out of it.

    “Parker?!” Comes the gruff voice from inside the room, which despite a small voice screaming in the back of your mind “RUN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE MAN!!!”, you enter.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)16:36 No.17609270
    “…Max, actually…”

    “Right right, Max.” Vect is reading a paper of some kind, while his other hand searches across his desk for a cup. Judging from the smell, you think he’s got a cigar.

    “So I heard you banged my ship up pretty rough.”

    “Well… We uh, got into a fight with some Necrons.”

    Vect sets down his paper on the desk.

    “I don’t give a fuck about that.” He pulls the cigar out of his mouth and extinguishing it in a tray.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)16:38 No.17609289
    Do we have pictures we can sell to the paper?
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)16:39 No.17609297
    Does he need photos?

    Photos of Doomrider?
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)16:40 No.17609306
    So, what photos can we give him?
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)16:42 No.17609318
    who the hell is parker
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)16:43 No.17609325
         File1327095799.gif-(69 KB, 345x285, jksimmons.gif)
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    >> Dave !DaveeDila6 01/20/12(Fri)16:43 No.17609332
         File1327095825.jpg-(31 KB, 400x300, jjj-spiderman.jpg)
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    we need to get pictures of doomrider!
    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/20/12(Fri)16:44 No.17609346
    Guess Vect's voice will be J.K. Simmons
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)16:44 No.17609348
    never mind... damn beer, need moar
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)16:46 No.17609363
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)16:46 No.17609367
         File1327095999.png-(3 KB, 184x172, 1317088700982.png)
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    "Uh, well, geeze... uh..."
    >> HarryDresden !WIZardrY9E 01/20/12(Fri)16:47 No.17609371
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    Jesus Christ, I spend all night drinking and smoking hookah, and now I wake up with a Hard Cider, A Chocolate Chip Muffin, and Heretical Love? I love you Papa.

    You have my frosting bag.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)16:47 No.17609375
    “Are my daughters safe?” He asks, his eyes steel hard.


    “Well then, what’s the problem?” He sighs in relief, and kicks his feet up onto the desk, massaging his temples.

    “Uhh… You aren’t… Mad? About the ship?”

    Vect raises an eyebrow as he stares hard at you, as though mulling over your question.

    “To be completely honest with you, I didn’t expect that you would actually bring it back.”

    This catches you a bit off-guard.


    Vect sits forward again, folding his hands together and setting them on his massive wooden desk.

    “Let me tell you something, Max. I love those two daughters of mine, as much as a father can. That doesn’t change one simple fact, those two are quite possibly the most random destructive force in the galaxy.”

    As he talks, he leans over and picks out a large green binder from atop a cabinet.

    “Here, take a look.” He sets it before you, and opens it to the middle.

    You almost laugh at what you see. Almost.

    The pictures consist of many different variations of the same theme. Something; a pleasure yacht, a large skiff, a home, absolutely destroyed. The twins stand in front of the frame in every one, smiling sheepishly.

    “My daughters have never brought anything back. They destroy things, plain and simple. You give them a vehicle to control or a house to stay in, and unless you are watching them like a hawk, it’s crashed and burning within the day.”

    You don’t bother mentioning that it seems to be a trait you share as well…

    “So, we’re cool, then?” You finally pipe up.
    >> Shas'Vre Kir'qath !fFfDI2K3VQ 01/20/12(Fri)16:50 No.17609411
         File1327096230.png-(13 KB, 468x425, 1279335798011.png)
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    Don't mind my adjustment of name. Figured I'd make it a little more unique. As if someone is gonna impersonate me...
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)16:51 No.17609418
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    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)16:54 No.17609437

    also from what is is sounding like here:
    the emperor seems to have decided to stop being "dead" and go will probably go do his job for once!
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:02 No.17609513
    What ever happened to Long Cron Silver? Is he just walking the bottom of the sea?

    But... Oh thank God Vect is being a bro! We just made a powerful ally, so long as he doesn't find out he boned the twins.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)17:02 No.17609522
    “Eh? Sure, whatever. Now get out of my office, I need to get back to work.” He shoos you away with one hand as he reaches for a communicator.

    “Hey Parker.” He stops you at the door, and you turn around.


    “Got any pictures of the Galactic Partridges? Good ones? I’d pay you for them.”

    “No, sorry.”

    “Doomrider? That guy is hot shit right now, really sells out the stands.”

    “No, but I can probably get you some, I guess? You run a news paper business?”

    "Bitch, I'm Vect. I do everything." He gives you a thumbs-up before waving you off, and starts talking on the device in his hand.

    The twins are waiting for you outside the secretary’s room, both of them looking quite anxious.

    “Gee guys, thanks for throwing me under the bus. Your dad says he’s going to toss me into the arena again.”

    Both of them startle in panic, grabbing onto you wide-eyed.

    “W-what?!” Senna gasps, frantically looking around as though she could spot something to save you.

    “He did? Oh no, we thought he’d go easy on you!” Senda bites her nails.

    “Totally screwing with you.” You stick out your tongue at them.

    “Uggghhh!!!!” Senna bites your shoulder, looking quite angry.

    “Jerk.” Senda folder her arms, but you can tell she’s relieved.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:03 No.17609529
    >Long Cron Silver riding R'almon, the one who wants our Moby Dick...

    Oh god, this is horrifying.
    Also; Pretty sure he would have phased out back to his ship.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)17:03 No.17609530
    “You deserved it, entirely.”

    They both nod.

    “Anyways, we really do have some stuff we need to get done. We’re both slated to be MC’s for this year’s annual Raiding-Party awards ceremony and neither of us has anything written up yet.” Senda hands you a flier.

    “You guys are… Famous?”

    “Duh, we’re daughters of the big V, of course we are.” Senna grins.

    You walk them back to their room, and they pause at the door.

    “We really had fun with you, Max.” Senda smiles.

    “Don’t let her fool you, we both really REALLY like you!” Senna gives her sister a playful shove.

    “So you’d better come see us again!” They chime in unison, before planting a tandem kiss on your lips.

    “Will do.”

    With that, they disappear into their chambers.

    “You’ve got quite some nerve, motherfucker.” A familiar voice from behind you.

    Turning around, you recognize the Dark Eldar pilot who had ferried you around twice now. Only this time, he’s clad in far more regal looking equipment, a look of smug satisfaction on his face. He grins.

    “You’re one excellent motherfucker, you know that? That word you put in for me? Yeah. I’m going to be in charge of this place as soon as Vect gets everything finalized.”
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:04 No.17609533
         File1327097078.png-(2 KB, 137x117, 1318724436695.png)
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    Be all pic related and get some more bitches.

    That is the only course of action.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)17:06 No.17609553
    “Thought you’d like that.” You grin back.

    “Fuck yeah. Now the twins told me they’ve got some work to get done, and knowing them it’s going to take every ounce of concentration and their mother standing over them with a whip, so we gotta get you out of here before they get sidetracked.” He gestures, and you start following him.

    “Those two ever get any work done?” You inquire.

    “Rarely, now where do you want to go?”

    [ ] Give your axe-murderer a jingle, go to the bloodbowl game.

    [ ] Karen sent you a text, the Orks are filming a show she thinks you would enjoy.

    [ ] Try to reprogram the murderously loving Necron.

    [ ] Mika sent you a message, asking for help with some science.

    [ ] Lycheria left you a voice message, apparently the canoness wants her bike back

    [ ] Help Ailia get over her fear of ‘nids
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:06 No.17609559
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:06 No.17609562
         File1327097210.jpg-(33 KB, 305x350, PROMOTIONS.jpg)
    33 KB

    We got that pilot a promotion.

    Pilots love promotions.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:06 No.17609564
    >[X] Try to reprogram the murderously loving Necron.

    We really need to get that out of the way.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:07 No.17609569
    [x] Give your axe-murderer a jingle, go to the bloodbowl game.
    >> Shas'Vre Kir'qath !fFfDI2K3VQ 01/20/12(Fri)17:07 No.17609577
    >[X] Lycheria left you a voice message, apparently the canoness wants her bike back
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:08 No.17609582
    [x ] Try to reprogram the murderously loving Necron.

    Time for dice HUEHUEHUE time.
    >> HarryDresden !WIZardrY9E 01/20/12(Fri)17:08 No.17609592
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    Chances are Lycharia is getting tortured/turned into a penitent on our account, we need to go help her out, she vouched for us, and a pissed off Canoness will be abated when she sees us in the most holy of power armor, with a fucking flamer for a hand.

    Chances are, that'll just give her a schlick spot.
    My votes for the Sisters.
    >> Mr. Smile 01/20/12(Fri)17:10 No.17609603
    >[ ] Give your axe-murderer a jingle, go to the bloodbowl game.

    And you guys should do it
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:10 No.17609609
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    [X] Lycheria left you a voice message, apparently the canoness wants her bike back

    I really want to see how the Sororitas react to the awesome Grey Knightesque armor before we lose it somehow.
    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/20/12(Fri)17:10 No.17609610
    [ ] Give your axe-murderer a jingle, go to the bloodbowl game.
    [ ] Karen sent you a text, the Orks are filming a show she thinks you would enjoy.
    Too n a haf boyz.... just sayin
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:11 No.17609617
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:12 No.17609627
    fuck everything, do science.

    bitches love science.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:12 No.17609628

    >[X] Lycheria left you a voice message, apparently the canoness wants her bike back

    I want to see how this ends, probably horribly, but the curiousity is still there.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:12 No.17609630
    [X] Give your axe-murderer a jingle, go to the bloodbowl game.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:12 No.17609632
    [ ] Give your axe-murderer a jingle, go to the bloodbowl game.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:13 No.17609637
    [x] Give your axe-murderer a jingle, go to the bloodbowl game.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:13 No.17609641
    [ ] necron

    its time for that bitch to get slagged.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:14 No.17609646
    needs more zeno love, go help the necron.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:14 No.17609648
    [X] Lycheria left you a voice message, apparently the canoness wants her bike back
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:14 No.17609650
    X[ ] Try to reprogram the murderously loving Necron.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:15 No.17609656
    Lets go reprogram some necrons.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:15 No.17609658
    this time it's hate. She will die. We will have that harem. that is the order of things.

    [ ] Try to reprogram the murderously loving Necron.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:15 No.17609663
         File1327097743.gif-(2.69 MB, 300x200, 1320157296651.gif)
    2.69 MB
    Yesssssssss I'm here on time.
    >> Reason 01/20/12(Fri)17:16 No.17609672
    [ ] Give your axe-murderer a jingle, go to the bloodbowl game.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:16 No.17609674

    also for the reprogram party >trying to reprogram a necron before recruiting coggirl to help

    i mean, REALLY.

    >captcha program couldt

    I M
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:16 No.17609675
    Papa-n, quesiton. will we be able to take out helena, frederick and mika in some horrid technojumble double-date?
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:17 No.17609679
    thats why we kill her, and bring the broken, battered, melted corpse to mika for science!
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:19 No.17609703
    Sounds like a plan to me
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:20 No.17609710
    >[x] Try to reprogram the murderously loving Necron.

    I want to see our necron waifu.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)17:20 No.17609712
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    You climb into the ship, the Dark Eldar looking quite happy as he flips switches in his pre-flight check.

    Rustling through your stuff, wondering what it was exactly that Eight is up to, your hand grabs something from a pocket and you pull it out.

    Oh shit, you’d forgotten you’d had those bloodbowl tickets.

    Oh fuck, the game is TODAY IN AN HOUR!!!

    Quickly you whip out your communicator, dialing in Kaleshi’s number.

    You snap the device to your ear, its ringing.

    Come on, come on pick up…

    “Hi, it’s Kaleshi, probably out helping dad get some skulls and can’t come to th…”


    You cancel the communication and dial it again.

    “Pick up damn it…”

    Only one last ring left, fuuuuuucckk…


    “Damn girl, answer your calls!”

    “Hah! Was Max getting all weak-kneed at the prospect of me not acknowledging him?” Kaleshi laughs.

    “Anyways, what’s up?” She asks.

    “Well, what are you doing today? In like, an hour?”

    “Hmmm?” Kaleshi pauses.

    “Well… Daddy wanted to take me along with him to the big game today, why, did you have something in mind?”

    “Yeah, as much as I think your dad is a swell guy, I’m taking you to that game. So throw on your sexy panties, let him know, and figure out a way to get me to… Ulagansh…? Because you are going with me.”
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:20 No.17609714
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:22 No.17609742
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:24 No.17609765
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:26 No.17609785
    I hope us being in GK armor won't be a problem
    >> HarryDresden !WIZardrY9E 01/20/12(Fri)17:27 No.17609789
    Snort Cocaine, get a lift from Doomrider!
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:29 No.17609811
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)17:34 No.17609872
    “I am SO hot right now.”

    “Just as planned. Now seriously, how are we getting to that other planet?”

    The Dark Eldar pilot looks over at you, probably wondering where to go.

    “Just drop me off in the nearest town.” You block off the receiver and tell him.

    The craft lurches to a start, soaring through the air in a hurried frenzy of whining engines. The pilot seems to be enjoying the flight more than usual, and you guess it probably has something to do with his recent promotion.

    “So yeah, how are we getting to that planet? Can Doomrider pick me up?” You ask, hoping he can.

    “Oh, that will be pretty easy for me. I’ll just pull you through the warp and bring us out on the other side there.” She tells you, as though it was the same as just the everyday drive to the market.

    “Doomrider is busy...” She adds.

    Well, whatever, so long as it will work.

    “Here good?” The pilot asks, and you brofist him as he sets the craft down. With one last wave, you pile out.

    “See you around!” He shouts to you before easing the vehicle back up.

    “Alright babe, I’m on the ground now. Do you need my location or something? How does this work? Is it dangerous?”

    Kaleshi laughs.

    “Don’t worry, don’t worry. I’m going to get ready real quick so I’ll send my dog to pick you up. No it isn’t dangerous, that’s only for psychers.”

    “Uhhh… Got some bad news then…”

    But she’s already hung up!

    Before you can dial her again, a warp hole opens up. You peer at it curiously, nothing happening for several seconds…
    Until a massive armored creature leaps forth, frothing at the mouth and growling as it bounds toward you.

    “Oh fuuuucccckkkk!!!” You break to run, but too late. The creature snaps you up in its jaws before turning around and sprinting back into the warp hole.

    1d20 for perils
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:35 No.17609888
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    Remember, we need to get some pics of Doomrider at the game for Mr. Vick.

    Well, we don't need to, but bonus points.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:36 No.17609896
    rolled 17 = 17

    well shit
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:36 No.17609898
    rolled 8 = 8

    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:37 No.17609903
    rolled 1 = 1

    Oh boy dice time.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:37 No.17609905
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    rolled 12 = 12

    I am already broken.
    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/20/12(Fri)17:37 No.17609908
    rolled 1 = 1

    Whirlwind Sprint like a bitch!
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:37 No.17609913
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    rolled 2 = 2

    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:38 No.17609919
    rolled 16 = 16

    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:38 No.17609921
    rolled 12 = 12

    Man be careful, the warp is perilous.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:38 No.17609922
    rolled 20 = 20

    Wait, if we're rolling for perils of the warp, wouldn't 20 be more perils and 1 be almost none?

    So aren't all these 1's good?
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:39 No.17609923
    rolled 16 = 16

    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/20/12(Fri)17:39 No.17609925
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    Oh god, why?!
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:39 No.17609928
         File1327099163.jpg-(27 KB, 493x310, 9qw5z6.jpg)
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    rolled 1 = 1

    Ah fuck me.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:39 No.17609933
         File1327099180.jpg-(58 KB, 480x640, 1316808217950.jpg)
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    rolled 2 = 2


    Yep. That's what I thought.

    Rape train's a'comin'

    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:40 No.17609937
         File1327099228.png-(9 KB, 493x402, 1317475146971.png)
    9 KB
    rolled 9 = 9


    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:41 No.17609947
    rolled 20 = 20

    dice gods dont fail me
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:41 No.17609950
         File1327099309.jpg-(124 KB, 616x616, 1317991288559.jpg)
    124 KB
    Just... just stop rolling. Its over.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:42 No.17609960
    >Noko'd 20.

    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:42 No.17609964
    Nice knowing you Max.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:43 No.17609972
    rolled 7 = 7

    >> HarryDresden !WIZardrY9E 01/20/12(Fri)17:44 No.17609980
    God damn it /tg/.

    >"I feel the warp overtaking me! It is a good pain!"
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:47 No.17610002
    rolled 4 = 4

    May chaos guide my dice
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:48 No.17610006
    rolled 20 = 20

    And then max was the chaos spawn
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:49 No.17610012
    and then max was a daemon.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 01/20/12(Fri)17:50 No.17610021
         File1327099829.png-(350 KB, 594x412, Time to Oil up.png)
    350 KB
    rolled 4 = 4

    Huehuehuehue... Lets see if I can't roll something good.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:51 No.17610026
    rolled 16 = 16

    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:51 No.17610031
    squad Broken?
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)17:51 No.17610033
    What you emerge as on the other side… Dear Emperor, you horrify yourself.

    When your world finally stops spinning, you can actually focus. The giant dog thing has dropped you, though not out of wanting to perhaps, but out of necessity.

    After all, you are now at least fifteen feet tall or so. Your armor flickers and glows with warp energy, barely large enough to contain your new body that strains against it. With dread, you feel your head and sure enough notice two bony horns jutting from your skull.

    “Oh no. This is not good…” Your booming voice fills the small circular room.

    Kaleshi pokes her head out of a door, soap in her hair, you can hear the shower steaming in the background.

    “Oh!” She looks excited.

    “I didn’t know you were actually a daemon prince!”

    You look at yourself in a nearby mirror, and almost lose it completely. Sure enough, your mortal self is gone. In its place you now stand, a towering figure of the might of chaos embodied.

    “Ho ho! Dad must like you!” She snaps her fingers as if this was more than completely all right in her book.

    “I don’t like it, not one bit.” You turn to her.

    “Please tell me there’s a way to change back…”

    “Huh? Why would you want to do that?” Kaleshi asks.
    “Gah, walk over here, I need to finish my shower.” The khornette adds quickly before ducking back inside the room.

    You follow her inside, and take a seat on the toilet.

    “It kind of messes with my vibe, in a very bad way. There is a way to undo it… Right?” You ask. Though you can see her sleek and well toned body through the semi-blurred glass of the shower, it really isn’t enough to take your mind off this more pressing matter.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)17:54 No.17610055
    “Well, if you REALLY want to undo it, I’m sure Tzeentch can.” Kaleshi assures you as she rinses out her silvery hair.

    “Can she? Great!” You suddenly feel a whole lot better.

    “Well yeah, but if we do that now we will miss the game. Besides, you look pretty bad-ass and one date out together like that would be pretty cool.”

    Bad ass? Really? You check yourself in the bathroom mirror, seeing your new form for a second time. Yeah maybe, what with the spikes and the glowing red armor with gold lining and all. It isn’t necessarily a bad look, it just isn’t YOU.

    Wait, what are you trying to tell yourself!? This is time to fucking panic, you don't want to be a daemon prince!!!

    "Kaleshi I..."

    But the shower door being slammed open cuts you off. The khornette stands there, a massive grin on her face. She looks like she's staring off into the distance, a big smile on her face.

    "Quit worrying, we'll get it sorted out you wuss. Now, its time for BLOODBOWL!"

    She leaps out of the shower, wrapping a towel around herself mid-air, and sprints back into her room. You hear drawers flying open as she grabs clothes out.

    [ ] Go have Tzeentch change you back asap, miss bloodbowl game

    [ ] Go to bloodbowl game as a daemon prince of Khorne
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:56 No.17610067
    >it is you. you are the daemon prince
    ... I'm okay with this
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:56 No.17610069
    [X] Go to bloodbowl game as a daemon prince of Khorne
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 01/20/12(Fri)17:56 No.17610072
    [+] Go to bloodbowl game as a daemon prince of Khorne

    This one has my vote.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:56 No.17610076
    >Insert a Juvenile joke about Kaleshi loving the DP. Rock the Prince getup to the game
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:57 No.17610078
    bloodbowl now, hit up big emp and his bitch later.

    She's obviously turned on my your HUGE GIRTH
    >> Reason 01/20/12(Fri)17:57 No.17610079
    Why not ask Tzeentch if she can suppress the Demonness while in the real world and only let it out in the warp?
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:57 No.17610080
    [ ] Go to bloodbowl game as a daemon prince of Khorne

    Big Emps can help us out when the time comes. But I think it's time to show our true allegiance to Kaleshi.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:57 No.17610081
    [X] Go to bloodbowl game as a daemon prince of Khorne.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:57 No.17610088
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:57 No.17610089
         File1327100279.jpg-(76 KB, 353x337, 1321131454997.jpg)
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    [x] Go to bloodbowl game as a daemon prince of Khorne
    >> Mr. Smile 01/20/12(Fri)17:58 No.17610093
    >[ ] Go to bloodbowl game as a daemon prince of Khorne

    Because we might see kharn there, what a guy.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:59 No.17610094
    Yeah, missing the game isn't an option.

    I don't care if Max was given the form of the Plaguefather himself, he's going to that fucking game.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:59 No.17610100
    >[ ] Go to bloodbowl game as a daemon prince of Khorne

    fuck it, at least we will be less squishy like this.and it can hopefully be reverted so we can complete our mission from the Big E
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)17:59 No.17610102

    also we look badass, and nobody will hopefully recognize us.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:00 No.17610105
    [x] Go to bloodbowl game as a daemon prince of Khorne
    kill both teams
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:00 No.17610107
    okay, here's the plan
    go to bloodbowl
    find out kaleshi's team
    place a gaint fucking sum of money of them
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:00 No.17610112
    Man pimpin ain't easy is it. I guess we gotta just go with it. Besides this trip is a thank you, so it's about her.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:01 No.17610118
    Are you serious Papa-N?
    A psyker wouldn't be a demon prince of khorne.
    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/20/12(Fri)18:01 No.17610123
    >>[ ] Go to bloodbowl game as a daemon prince of Khorne
    Feel as though this is appropriate
    there better be a khorne berserker version of Debauchery at the blood bowl game playin this
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:04 No.17610143
    to be fair, we have been heretics already AND khorne likes us alot.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:04 No.17610148

    Why are Esh and the twins all Grey DeLisle?
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:05 No.17610162
    crush is Andrew Stanton
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:06 No.17610165
         File1327100760.jpg-(8 KB, 208x243, 1323563595377.jpg)
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    >mfw this turn of events.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)18:06 No.17610174
    >Morgan Freeman narrating the fish vore-tentacle rape scenes

    oh god my sides
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:06 No.17610176
    1 fish 2 fish red fish blue fis... BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:07 No.17610182
    Hopefully we get some bitching power out of this.

    Becoming a daemon prince when in danger of dying would be pretty sweet.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:08 No.17610196
    because to americans twins always have to be voiced by the same person

    and different voices the actor uses i suppose
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:08 No.17610198
    To prove my point, here is a list of things we did which are ridiculous.
    -Befriended people of several different factions that would normally kill us on sight
    -Became a psyker through SMOKING SOULS
    -Became bros with Emps, Doomrider, Lorgan, a vindicare, Darkhammer, Vect, an Ork warboss, and an AI program
    -Denied the greatness of the partridges.
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/20/12(Fri)18:08 No.17610199
    Sounded better in my head after, the twins had they're more ditzy moments

    Narrator: Morgan Freeman
    Max: Steven Bulm
    Sister Lycheria: Tabitha St. Germain
    Ailia: Tara Strong
    Esh: Grey DeLisle
    Senna and Senda: Grey DeLisle
    Kaleshi: Melissa Fahn
    Tonya: Dionne Quan
    Mika: Andrea Libman
    Karen: Olivia D'Abo
    Doomrider: Tommy Blacha
    Abbadon: Christopher Sabat
    Nurgle: John DiMaggio
    Slaanesh: Tim Curray
    Khorn: Keith David
    Tzeentch: Nicole Oliver
    Warboss: John DiMaggio
    Emperor: Andrew Stanton
    Malice: Frank Welker
    DarkHammer: Tony Jay
    Kais: Scott McNeal
    8: Phil Lamar
    Vect: J.K. Simmons
    Ra'alman: Ian Holm
    Tankered: Brian Blessed
    >> Mr. Smile 01/20/12(Fri)18:12 No.17610227
         File1327101124.jpg-(159 KB, 900x1165, 1298503055649.jpg)
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    Or how about we stay a daemon prince... but in a human form, eh, eh?
    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/20/12(Fri)18:12 No.17610233
    This list.... man, one way or another, we gotta throw in Malcom Mcdowell, Christopher Lee, Sean Connery, and Mark Hamill for character voices, that would be boss
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/20/12(Fri)18:14 No.17610251
    I'll try and figure it out, but I cast for the character not the actor.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)18:14 No.17610252
    You walk out to her main room, and see she’s already ready to go. In place of her armor; nakedness, or dress, really the only three things you’ve seen her wear, is a jersey. It’s got all the colors of the chaos gods, and a big “# 81 DOOMRIDER” across the back and another 81 on the front. Her shorts are tantalizingly short, and you get sprung, wanna pull out your plasma gun.

    “Ready to go!?” She shouts, excited, as she grabs hold of your arm. Which is now about as big around as your entire body used to be.


    “Great, let’s go!!!” With one last giant grin, the khornette teleports you.

    With a crackle of arcane energy, you appear again, only this time in a place truly bizarre. The sky above is a dark hue of violet, and black clouds move across it at a bizarrely fast pace. The stadium is massive, and incredibly crowded.

    From the looks of it, nearly every race is represented. Though the vast majority are Orks in their red, blue, and green jerseys of their favorite players, and daemons in the same style of fashion.

    “Wow, this is a pretty popular sport.” You muse, forgetting about your current predicament almost entirely.

    “You mean you’ve never been to a bloodbowl game?!” She shouts, looking quite shocked.

    “Can’t say I have.” You shrug, which is awkward with the giant axe clutched in your hand.

    “Oh, you want to drop that off at the weapon check?” She asks.


    Kaleshi leads you around after dropping off the axe. The weirdboy at the counter handed you a ticket to reclaim the axe on your way back out after the game.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:15 No.17610259

    Also Neil Pattrick Harris.

    I have no idea who the fuck he would voice, but he has to be in there somewhere. Maybe the Vore obsessed Sea Monster?
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:15 No.17610269
    im trying to think of one which Billy may's voice would fit with, but im drawing blanks...

    Logan Grimnar perhaps?
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:17 No.17610280
    Doomrider plays Bloodbowl.

    Why didn't I guess that was coming?
    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/20/12(Fri)18:20 No.17610306
    eh, i imagine his voice being more of Ulfric Stormcloak's voice from Skyrim (Vladimir Kulich)
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)18:21 No.17610315
    The khornette is incredibly excited, that much you can be certain. She’s sprinting hand-in-hand with you between different vendors. Some she stops at long enough to maybe even look at something before running off again.

    “Hey, what are we looking for, anyways?” You finally ask, after being dragged to the twentieth or so stall.

    “Huh? Oh. Bloodcorn.”


    She must have found it, because she cheers, her face alight.
    The vendor, a scraggly looking old chaos marine, dishes her out a large bowl of the vibrant red snack. Kaleshi munches on it happily as you pull her away to go find your seats.

    You can’t seem to find them. Mostly due to the fact you can’t read whatever crazy language half the ticket is written in.

    “Hey, can you even read this shit?” You offer her the tickets and she takes them from you.

    “Tickets? Why would we need tickets? I’m the daughter of Khorne, we’ve got a private box waiting for us.” She gives you a look as though this were completely obvious.

    “Then what about these tickets?” You ask, looking them over.

    “Eh, don’t need em. Doomrider gave them to you, didn’t he?”
    “Yeah, why?”

    “Just wondering. Don’t worry, he won’t care where you sit.”
    With that, she takes you by the hand again and starts leading you up a massive staircase. You climb for what feels like an hour. Not that it’s a particularly hard climb, it’s just difficult to maneuver your massive frame through the crowd.

    Finally, she steers you right and through an impressive looking door marked with the symbol of Khorne. You pause in the entryway.

    “Is uh… Your dad here?” You ask.

    “Oh no, of course not silly!” Kaleshi giggles.

    “How would he coach from all the way up here?” She grins, pulling you further into the room.
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/20/12(Fri)18:21 No.17610328
    The monster is already voiced by Ian Holme
    I like it
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:22 No.17610332
         File1327101749.jpg-(199 KB, 1149x763, JYwO3.jpg)
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    He also plays soccer.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:23 No.17610342
    WHELP, looks like i'm gonna be rolling up a chaos campaign in bloodbowl after tonight's thread.

    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:23 No.17610354
    >Khorne is a coach

    Welp, I guess we know what team we're rooting for.
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/20/12(Fri)18:24 No.17610355
    Actualy I like this even better
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:24 No.17610363
    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/20/12(Fri)18:25 No.17610368
    jesus christ, creed?! That team has a huge advantage!
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:26 No.17610379

    The question is whether bloodbowl is more like football or american football.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:26 No.17610387
    Bloodbowl is a more violent form of Gridiron/American Football. Always has been.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:27 No.17610391
    It's more violent Rugby, so neither.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:31 No.17610439
    You would think. But alas, we lost the 4chan winter cup.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:31 No.17610442
    i'm hoping for jousting mixed with rugby personally.
    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/20/12(Fri)18:32 No.17610456
    Da, throw in Ulfric's speech of why he fights, change it around a bit to be moar 40K esque and it go's full circle...
    Ulfric's speech: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQM2DUHktMY
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:33 No.17610468
         File1327102420.jpg-(134 KB, 600x364, 1291576071271.jpg)
    134 KB
    >tfw your favorite team lost the bloodbowl 4 years in a row
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:34 No.17610476
    What was position and who was the winner again?
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)18:35 No.17610497
    /k/ won the whole thing.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:38 No.17610519
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:38 No.17610521
    would regular emperor fearing and worshipping citizens if the imperium ever visit a space marine ran church or cathedral and listen to the preachings of the chapter chaplain? would they ever have any kind of private consolation with him?
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:39 No.17610529
    i think its just football with murder involved
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)18:39 No.17610530
    You take the seat next to her, looking around in the lavish place the two of you have entirely to yourselves.

    “Oh man, I’m so excited!” She is almost bouncing from the pent up energy.

    As if on cue, speakers in the room crackle to life.

    “Ladies and gentlemen. Daemons and Orks. Everyone else… Welcome! Welcome welcome! To the twenty thousandth annual Universal Champions Superb Owl!” The booming voice is almost drowned out by the roar of the crowd.

    “I’m joined tonight, as always, by John Madden. John, tell me, what do you think the key to this game is going to be tonight?”

    “Well Keith, the key to tonight’s game is going to be scoring points while not letting the other team score points. Also, neither team is going to want to lose their star players so dismembering each other is going to be crucial.”

    “Straightforward as always, John. Five minutes to kickoff folks!”

    Kaleshi can’t stand sitting anymore, she jumps up and rips open a nearby fridge.

    “Want one?” She asks, holding out a glowing red drink in a bottle.

    “Sure.” You answer, without even thinking it through.

    “So hey, is Doomrider going to be joining us here tonight?” You wonder out loud absent mindedly, watching the khornette’s bent over ass as she continues to fish around the fridge.

    “Are you dense? Maybe after, but the team needs their star receiver.” She finally settles for the same drink as you, plus a bowl of something that she pours over her bloodcorn.

    “Doomrider plays for the daemons?”

    “Well yeah, how do you think he got those tickets?” She says before stuffing her mouth with the concoction in the bowl.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:40 No.17610545
         File1327102840.png-(847 KB, 604x598, 1316718218430.png)
    847 KB
    oh shit, i just realised.
    That stuff about Emps being supercharged at the beginning and now Max being a demon prince...

    How close are we to the finale?
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:41 No.17610547
         File1327102863.gif-(2.5 MB, 333x142, 1323131321518.gif)
    2.5 MB
    >>mfw we're going to be called by Doom Rider to take the QB position.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:41 No.17610552

    >not jim and bob ;_;
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:44 No.17610577
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:44 No.17610583
         File1327103097.png-(219 KB, 580x290, IMG_0019.png)
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    >mfw bloodbowl
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)18:51 No.17610665
    >/sp/ is my 2nd most frequented board

    “Oh man, bloodcorn with extra blood. So good.” Kaleshi mumbles as she munches away.

    You start feeling excited now, watching the field below as both teams pile onto it from their respective sides. Sure enough, you spot Doomrider out there.

    “Now the key to a good kickoff return is to run without getting caught by the defense.” Madden says over the system.

    “Hey Max, screw the seats let’s take this couch over.” She points to a couch sitting as close to the glass as it can.

    “Sounds good.” You aren’t going to complain. The two of you crash down onto it.

    Kaleshi sets the bowl aside, half empty, with a satisfied sigh.

    “I can never have enough of that stuff.” She smiles as she kicks up her feet and sets them on your lap. You aren’t really a foot guy, but even you have to admit there is something alluring about her well manicured feet as you watch them bounce idly.

    Both of you are quickly engrossed in watching as the game starts. The Daemons lost the toss and the Orks have elected to receive. A tall, spindly looking Daemon give the ball a hard boot which sends it sailing back into the Ork line. Apparently with enough force to knock the Ork who caught it… No wait, it blew a hole right through him and kept going.

    “What a kick! What. A. Kick!” Keith shouts excitedly over the roar of the crowd.

    The Orks scramble, managing to get the ball to the twenty yard line before being piled by a group of quite large and nasty looking Daemons.

    Madden mumbles something excitedly, you don’t think anyone could have understood it as he squeals in delight when a Daemon slams into the Ork quarterback, knocking him hard to the ground.

    “Oh that hit. I think I came!” Kaleshi shouts, taking a swig of her drink.
    >> Mechciv !!zzKjllPcnrE 01/20/12(Fri)18:52 No.17610671
    we have the place all to ourselves. Naturally, we must bang her up against the glass while watching the game.
    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/20/12(Fri)18:58 No.17610738
    Oh, even better, if we are to ever encounter Leman Russ, i vouch for his voice definantly be either Kodlack Whitemane's voice or Ysgarmor's, seems appropriate if you ask me
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)18:59 No.17610745
         File1327103964.jpg-(14 KB, 150x150, 1294976993347.jpg)
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    >Orkland Raiderz

    I'm sorry, but did the Orkz already lose? Oh, that's right. The game isn't even over yet. In fact, it's only halftime. Does not having the lead at halftime count as a loss? Is that what you're saying? Because if you're saying that I can assure you that you're wrong. Why would you make this topic when the game is still on? The Orkz are still playing right now and they have been the best team in the Galaxy for how many years now? They're playing one of the worst teams in the League who just happen to have a lead because they're feeding off the energy of playing in The Warp. But you know what? They still fucking suck. The Orkz are one of the best fucking teams in the League, they went 13-3 last year and would of won the Superb Owl if the kicker didn't choke. Maybe you should shut the fuck up before you make retarded topics like this. You know why? Because you're going to be embarrassed when the Orkz wins and someone bumps this topic. Oh look at that, the Demons just stepped out of bounds short of the 1st down when they needed to get one, just like the Squats did. Are you a fucking drunk? Are you retarded? Are you autistic? You are a fucking idiot and you should never make a topic on this board again and I'm fucking serious. I almost have a feeling you're the only guy making all these anti-Ork topics because you're a faggot hater who doesn't like the team because they're good. Fuck you, be good at something in YOUR life and then maybe try to troll these fucking teams on the board, like I give a fuck. It's so easy to spot out your threads now, you're a retard. Always doing stupid shit like this. Why don't you try to be a good poster? Just for once? For once in your fucking life try not to make a topic like this. That's just you, you're always right at getting it wrong. Fuck you. You are nothing.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:01 No.17610765
    Haha, oh wow. Is this some adapted copypasta from /sp/ or something?
    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/20/12(Fri)19:02 No.17610770
    cool story, bro
    >> Mechciv !!zzKjllPcnrE 01/20/12(Fri)19:03 No.17610788
    someone forgot his meds today
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:03 No.17610792
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)19:04 No.17610795
    >I love you, based anon

    You try some of your own, and are actually pretty surprised that you find it quite to your liking.

    “Hey, what is this?” You ask, holding the bottle up.

    “Oh. Chaos Spawn blood.” Kaleshi tells you like it was just everyday water.

    Gross… But you can’t help yourself and drink more, it is pretty damn good.

    The game is really starting to heat up now, the Orks having been held to a field goal. The Daemons seem content enough with this, though Khorne is busying himself shredding papers and snapping clipboards in half as seven or so Daemons try to calm him down.

    Doomrider goes on a long passing route, and the quarterback finds him deep in the backfield. With an agile leap and juke, the flaming headed daemon makes the rest of the run to the touchdown in a half-dance, half-run, before spiking the ball and raising his arms to the roar of the crowd. A yellow flag lands at his feet.

    “Excessive celebra…” The ref never gets a chance to finish, one of the Daemon’s offensive line belts him in the head, crumpling it inward. No one seems to care.

    You find yourself really starting to get into it now, cheering and booing along with the cute khornette alongside you. Until things start to go south, and the first and second string quarterback for the Daemons are both knocked out. Well, decapitated…

    A whistle blows.

    “And with that, we end the fourth quarter. Score tied at twenty one-twenty one as we go into overtime!” Keith seems excited.

    “You know Keith, the key to overtime is to win the game.” Madden adds.

    Kaleshi bites at her nails nervously, watching intently as the Daemons take the field again. They get their chance at a scoring drive first.

    “He drops back, in the pocket, sending four and… OH!” Keith shouts as the Daemon quarterback gets hit from both sides, which literally tears him in two.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:06 No.17610827
    RIP Keith
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:08 No.17610843
         File1327104534.jpg-(31 KB, 340x506, 1275531506664.jpg)
    31 KB
    put in teboq
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)19:10 No.17610864
    “Not a good display of an offensive line there, not good at all.”

    “No Keith, you can’t afford to get hit like that. When you get hit after dropping back, you lose yardage.”

    “Fuck!” Kaleshi yells, slamming her fists into the glass which she is now pressed against.

    “Fuck fuck FFUUUCCCKK!!!!”

    “Uh, what’s wrong?” You ask, not knowing all the rules and expecting something went poorly.

    “He was the last quarterback, we’re going to have to forfeit!” She bites her lip angrily.

    But then… She slowly turns around, staring at you hard, eyes alight with a crazy fire.

    “Hey now, I seriously hope you don’t do this…” You start trying to back away slowly.

    Too late, she’s already got her hands on you.

    “Sorry Max.” She grins apologetically, “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. And also I’m not going home 18-1 again.”

    “Oh no…”

    “Dad, we’ve got one last player!” She yells, her voice shattering the glass and loud enough that Khorn can hear her from his position down on the field.

    “I implore you to reconsideeeeeerrrrrrr!!!!” ...She’s already thrown you out into the open air.

    You sail downward, overtop the cheering crowd below.
    Thankfully, Doomrider catches you before you can land, and rather than crash down hard he sets you down lightly.

    “T-thanks…” You tell him, feeling shaky.

    “DON’T MENTION IT. NOW, CAN YOU THROW?!” He asks, handing you a ball.

    Well, you did qualify pretty high with grenades…

    “Too late, get out there!” Khorne boots you from behind, sending you flailing out onto the field. The players huddle around you, eager to hear your play.

    >Well /tg/, it’s second and 14, what are you guys going to run?
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:11 No.17610876
    The QB is named Keith too? What a coincidence!
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:12 No.17610878
    do what a chaos team should do in bloodbowl.


    also do we got any scrolls left? wizard power, yo.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:12 No.17610884
         File1327104762.jpg-(31 KB, 500x329, 1318778150336.jpg)
    31 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:13 No.17610897
    Well, i have no idea how Rugby, American Football & Blood Bowl play, so i'll let you guys with those tactics
    >> Mechciv !!zzKjllPcnrE 01/20/12(Fri)19:14 No.17610904
    agreed. ignore the ball and butcher the enemy! for, like, Khorne and stuff!
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:14 No.17610914
    run the ball in your a goddamn daemon prince
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:15 No.17610922
    bloodbowl doesn't have quarterbacks.

    does that make us the big guy, or just a thrower?

    either way RIP AND TEAR
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:15 No.17610923
    >No Madden recommended plays.
    Well shit. Just try to get the ball to Doomrider.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)19:15 No.17610927
    I meant your OWN 14...
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:16 No.17610934
    >Well /tg/, it’s second and 14, what are you guys going to run?

    Welp, I don't know anything about tactics. How about we just get ahead as violently as we can? It seems we are throwing, so we'll just make the whole demon team carry Doomrider through the orks, who can hopefully handle our thrown ball, earning us a touchdown.

    I guess. I'm really not sure.
    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/20/12(Fri)19:16 No.17610935
         File1327104962.jpg-(14 KB, 447x301, spongebob_face.jpg)
    14 KB
    >>“I implore you to reconsideeeeeerrrrrrr!!!!”
    looks like someone has watched Kung Pow: Enter the Fist
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)19:16 No.17610946
    Madden recommended plays:

    >throw the ball

    >run the ball yourself

    >give ball to running back
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:18 No.17610960
    rolled 8 = 8


    We run. We are a goddamn Daemon Prince. The orks don't know what hit 'em-
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:18 No.17610964
         File1327105102.gif-(2.86 MB, 480x270, 1318089019065.gif)
    2.86 MB
    Stay classy Papa-N.
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/20/12(Fri)19:18 No.17610971
         File1327105115.gif-(1.77 MB, 300x174, 1325996781379[1].gif)
    1.77 MB
    Krump the orks in your path and run it.

    >MFW I've been reading Daemon-Max's lines in Blum's Vilgax voice
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:19 No.17610983
    Run ball yourself

    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:19 No.17610990
         File1327105184.jpg-(30 KB, 319x320, FUCK_IT_IM_GOIN_DEEP_FAN_CLUB.jpg)
    30 KB
    Fuck it. I'm throwing it downfield.

    Is that Doom? I think he's triple-covered. You know what? **** it. I'm throwing it downfield.

    Yeah, I see Jones open on the flank. But **** that. Dumpoff passes are for ***gots. I'm ****ing Sexy Maxy. I can get that ball in there. And, even if I can't, I bet I'll be able to pull it off the next go round. I like throwing the ball long. It makes my dick hard.

    What's that? I should throw a quick slant? **** that. That's gay. Button hook? Gay. Flare out? Gay. Screen pass? Kevin Spacey gay. This is ****ing football. You can't just expect wins to come to you. You can?t massage that ****. You gotta grab that game by the throat and rape the ever-loving **** out of it. You think a 5-yard out is gonna win you a game? You're a pussy. This ain?t Yarrick running this offense. Sexy Maxy's got the arm. The dragon. You gotta unleash the dragon.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:20 No.17610994
         File1327105202.png-(167 KB, 313x303, 1320896132073.png)
    167 KB
    >throw the running back
    >catch running back
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:20 No.17611001
    >we run
    >doomrider gets our black
    >everyone else kills/maims/burns the enemy team
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)19:20 No.17611005
    “In the shotgun, he drops back, sets… It’s a fake! He’s ducking around the left side, the line opening up a nice hole…”

    First 1d100 determines yardage gained on run.

    If an odd number under 20 you lose that many yards.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:21 No.17611012
    run it
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:21 No.17611017
    rolled 69 = 69

    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:21 No.17611021
         File1327105310.gif-(794 KB, 400x200, 1293495077181.gif)
    794 KB
    rolled 20 = 20

    Okay, I'm throwing it. Nice. Look how far it went. I look good. I bet I made that Orkz cheerleader wet her panties with that throw. She ****ing wants me. I bet she likes it over a stair railing. I can hit that with 100% accuracy, my dear. Mmmmmm. I am delicious.

    Oh ****. Looks like Samuel caught it. Again. Oh well. It still felt ****ing great to throw that ****. Tell me that wasn't one of the prettiest passes you ever saw. You know what? Not only am I gonna throw it long the next time we hit the field. I'm gonna throw it even longer. Harder. You see that kid in wheelchair sitting in the end zone bleachers? Im gonna nail him right between the ****ing eyes with a Sexy Maxy fastball. Why? Because I can.

    This is Max Decarus we're talking about here. We're talking 210 lbs. of twisted steel and sex appeal. I'm not just a gunslinger. I?m a cumslinger. Throwing that ball long tells all the Rexettes that I am ****ing out there. On the edge. Where I gotta be. The ladies love the danger. The unpredictability. Oh, maybe I'll tease them with a pretty touch pass every now and again. But then I'm gonna go right back to pumping that ball out for all it's worth. It tells them I throw like I ****. That's how we do things in the sexy business.

    Tell me you're not turned on right now. I am.

    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:21 No.17611025
    rolled 12 = 12

    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:22 No.17611031
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:23 No.17611037
    rolled 52 = 52

    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:23 No.17611040
         File1327105399.gif-(1.78 MB, 400x214, 1293495319020.gif)
    1.78 MB
    rolled 19 = 19


    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:24 No.17611049
    rolled 66 = 66

    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:24 No.17611051

    Oh fuck, Slaanesh had her hand in this, I know!
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:24 No.17611059
    rolled 19 = 19

    Guys stop rolling Noko'd
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:25 No.17611064
    rolled 47 = 47

    fucking make me
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:25 No.17611066
         File1327105538.png-(58 KB, 467x451, 1317224865118.png)
    58 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:27 No.17611091
    its d100
    thats bad
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:28 No.17611099
    rolled 43 = 43

    damn dice
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/20/12(Fri)19:28 No.17611100
    rolled 93 = 93

    It's telling that our first roll was 69
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:28 No.17611101
         File1327105688.gif-(2.56 MB, 640x360, MARSHAWNBEASTMODE.gif)
    2.56 MB

    60yd gain!
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:28 No.17611109
    Good thing it's both an invalid noko roll and not the first roll.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)19:28 No.17611112
    “He’s going! This could be big! Yes, he’s through the defenders and still going strong! Three on his heels but damn this boy can run! Down to the fifty, into Ork territory now! Still going! OHHH!!! And he’s taken down at the Ork’s own eighteen yard line! What a play! What a run!”

    "LAAAANDDDDD DRAAAAGGOONNNNN!!!!" The Daemon crowd booms while the Ork's yell in disbelief.

    “That is how you run the football, Keith. You just put one foot in front of the other and run.”

    You groan as you pick yourself up off of the field, and despite the pain from being hit by two charging Orks, you feel elated. Your first play in bloodbowl, ever, at the greatest game in the universe, and you’ve just run a sixty nine yard play!

    “NICE ONE!” Doomrider shouts, slapping you on the back happily. It’s now first and eighteen, you haven’t scored yet…

    “I like that number.” Slaanesh grins as it sips something from a glass, crossing it’s legs which causes it’s bulge to show even more.

    “You would, wouldn’t you.” Nurgle laughs, downing some of his own drink.

    >nice one, what play do you run now?
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:29 No.17611127
         File1327105792.jpg-(50 KB, 320x316, IMG_0111.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:31 No.17611146
    A short pass down the side. The orcs will be really pissed and will try to rush us, so rushing won't work.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:31 No.17611153
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:32 No.17611158
         File1327105935.jpg-(88 KB, 1106x622, 1321821836537.jpg)
    88 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:32 No.17611160
    Give Doomrider ball, throw Doomrider.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:32 No.17611161
    we are 15ft tall we give the ball to the smallest guy on our team we then throw the fucker.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:32 No.17611164

    Play it, small, fast and aggressive. No need to fuck this up by going on for something needlessly big, like charging through gazillion orks.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)19:33 No.17611178

    Kinda giving you guys some freedom to make a play on it but...

    >Run up right side

    >Short pass left

    >Doomrider option

    >QB sneak
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:33 No.17611180
    rolled 11 = 11

    yeah throw down the side to doom rider
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:34 No.17611194
    >Give Doomrider ball, throw Doomrider.
    or throw doom rider throwing you
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:35 No.17611201
    get a picture of doomrider
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:35 No.17611203

    alternately, how many bear leaves does it take to make a daemon prince roid rage?
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:35 No.17611204
    Do this.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:35 No.17611216
    Is there a HUGE demon TE named GRONK?

    Get the ball to him
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:36 No.17611224
    I vote for the Doomrider option
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:36 No.17611228
         File1327106194.jpg-(118 KB, 850x637, sampledc7aedbc8dde3b468.jpg)
    118 KB
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/20/12(Fri)19:37 No.17611236
    >> Mechciv !!zzKjllPcnrE 01/20/12(Fri)19:37 No.17611238
         File1327106238.jpg-(113 KB, 460x548, 1484423_460s.jpg)
    113 KB
    DO IT
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)19:38 No.17611254
    “In the shotgun, it looks like he’s going to go for the rest of it on first. Doomrider goes left, double covered. Dropping back, pump fake… WOW! Barely manages to break a tackle! Under pressure now, he’s got to get the ball out! Doomrider breaks one cover… Runs back… Oh, he’s grabbed Doomrider! He throws, and….!!!”

    Roll 1d20

    Anything under a 5 is a loss in that number of yards. First roll is what I take.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:39 No.17611268
    rolled 16 = 16

    Oh hey, Heretical Love again.
    Seeing as fishing isn't an option, clearly we must...

    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:39 No.17611272
    rolled 17 = 17

    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/20/12(Fri)19:40 No.17611276
    Nuffle and all dice gods bless my roll!
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:41 No.17611297
    nuffle is not amused by your bullshit
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:42 No.17611299
    rolled 6 = 6

    rollan for nat 1
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:42 No.17611300
    Oh god that is the best possible action we could have taken. I'm willing to bet that is one of the best actions which will ever be taken.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:42 No.17611304
    Hail Emperor mother fuckers! All or Nothing! Blood and Thunder! We are the best god damn fisherman, for we are Max Decarus, The Fucking Land Dragon.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:44 No.17611324

    Guys, this the roll he will take. We are safe.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)19:44 No.17611330
    “What a throw! Doomrider completes the… Well I guess it’s a pass? Down to the two yard line, and for yet another first down! I’ll tell ya folks, in all my years watching this sport, this! This is what bloodbowl is all about!”

    The team all knock the grinning Doomrider on the helmet, and you can’t help but cheer along. Thankfully your demonic powers have given you quite the arm, as required to throw Doomrider that far. The crowd is roaring all around you, whipped up into a frenzy.

    This feeling… This is amazing. You feel like the king of everything.

    “NICE PLAY MAN, YOU WERE RIGHT, THAT DID WORK!” Doomrider gives you a friendly shake.

    “All right guys, here’s what we’re going to do now…” The players huddle around you as you talk.

    Madden’s plays:
    >Full back smash
    >QB leap
    >quick pass to Doomrider
    >fake run to pass
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:45 No.17611346
    >Full back smash
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:46 No.17611352
    QB LEAP.
    Q. B. LEAP.


    >> BEARS BEARS 01/20/12(Fri)19:46 No.17611354
    rolled 16 = 16

    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:46 No.17611359
    full back smash.


    also it's bloodbowl tradition that if you're about to win you waste time killing the other team so they are fucked for the rest of the season
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:47 No.17611365
    do we have wings or no?
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:47 No.17611367
    leap or i say give it to the rb behind us take a knee and have hime run up our back and jump over the ork line
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:47 No.17611369
    Full back smash sounds the most RIP AND TEAR!
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/20/12(Fri)19:47 No.17611372
    I fucked up my roll, but a good on beat me to it anyway, so I wasn't worried.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:48 No.17611375
    QB leap
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:49 No.17611400
    We are Khornate, right?

    So "Fus Ro Dah"-ing behind ourselves to shoot like a cannonball would be bad, right?
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:50 No.17611408
    rolled 12 = 12

    QB Leap of Destiny, while kicking the lead defender's head off. Nothing will give Kaleshi a bigger slick spot.
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/20/12(Fri)19:51 No.17611416
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/20/12(Fri)19:52 No.17611428
    On a slightly unrelated note, how many of you would like to see a 40k version of bloodbowl?
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:52 No.17611432
    rolled 94 = 94

    A different sport maybe.
    i dunno
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:52 No.17611435
    Oh god yes.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:53 No.17611451

    If qb LEAP is what I think it is, then that.

    Only once there is a possibility to do a fucking swan dive over daemons and orks in prince attire.

    [x] swan div- qb leap!
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)19:53 No.17611454
    “Setup in the I formation…. Quick hand-off to Kharn, he runs forw… Holy shit he’s got a chainaxe!”

    Sure enough, Kharn the fullback is busying himself slamming the axe into Orks as he runs forwards, howling madly with glee.

    …He gets the two yards with ease.

    “TOUCHDOWN DAEMONS!” You hear the announcer yell.

    “Unfortunately, Keith, weapons have been banned since the Mike Pereria convention on them. The touchdown still stands because the Daemons would probably kill anyone who tried to overturn it, but Kharn will have to sit out the rest of the game per the rules.”

    That doesn’t stop the crowd form chanting his name.

    “Kharn! Kharn Kharn!” They yell.

    Now, the defense just has to keep the Orks from scoring a touchdown and you’ve got this in the bag, as the kick was good.

    >You guys bored with bloodbowl or do you want the Orks to score so you have to make another drive?
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:54 No.17611465
    eh, i dunno. the lack of chainswords and bolters and whatnot kind of hurts the transition
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:54 No.17611470
    no question
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:55 No.17611480
    the die will doom us if we continue, they have been nice so far...
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:55 No.17611481
    We've won, I'd say. Move on to boning Kaleshi with deamonic 'radical inquisitor'.
    >> Mechciv !!zzKjllPcnrE 01/20/12(Fri)19:56 No.17611483
    finish wiping out the Orks and get back to our Khornette, and what happened to the other two anyway?
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:56 No.17611484
    we are the best athlete
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:57 No.17611495
    As long as we can tear someone in half for Kaleshi, I'm happy. What better gift to give the daughter of Khorne then more BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:57 No.17611501
    yeah stick our sausage in her mcmuffin
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:57 No.17611505
    It wouldn't be Heretical love if we quit while we were ahead. Then again we don't get ahead much. But yeah more FRIDAY NIGHT BLOODBOWL!
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)19:58 No.17611520
    rolled 2 = 2

    1 = Demons force a 3 n out
    2 = Orkson Palmer hits up Jarius Heyward-Ork for a bomb setting up a Darren McOrk TD run
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/20/12(Fri)20:00 No.17611547
    well, like fantasy bloodbowl it would obviously be an AU, and who says they couldn't have them?
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:00 No.17611548
    Less bowl.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:03 No.17611591
    Questions why does Blood Bowl not have sudden death overtime rules?
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:04 No.17611605

    I vote the game be continued if second overtime leads to sudden death.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:04 No.17611608
    >Sudden death overtime
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:05 No.17611619
    Before we was out we should Tebow on the sidelines, thanking the God-Emporer for this opportunity
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)20:11 No.17611681
    Shit, they scored…

    “Fucking shit!” Khorne yells, throwing a chair at the defensive line.

    “OK MAX, TIME TO SHINE!” Doomrider helps you to your feet off of the bench.

    You look up to Khorne’s personal box and see Kaleshi nervously biting at her nails as she watches. Fuck, you have to win this game, for her.

    The team crowds around you on the field as you take over at your own ten.

    “Right guys, we are going to finish this shit here. Grox! You and Gronk just fucking kill whoever tries to cover Doomrider. We’re going for the dragon here. Doomrider, its coming right at you buddy.”

    “GOT IT, WE’LL END IT HERE!” He grins.

    “Back in the shotgun, it looks like they are setting up to go long here.” Keith commentates.

    “I’d say they are going to throw the ball.” Madden agrees.
    You drop back, the massive linemen in front of you barely managing to hold back the onslaught of charging Orks. You have to give Doomrider enough time to make it downfield.

    Shit! Two Nobs break through, headed right at you!

    You break right, just in time to avoid them.

    Through the corner of your eye you see Gronk punch the head clean off of a defender, and Doomrider looking back over his shoulder.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)20:12 No.17611706
    Now or never.

    You throw with all of your might.

    The ball sails through the air, you watch it until you get hit from the side and knocked to the ground.

    Did it work?

    The stadium is incredibly silent for a few moments.

    “Pass completed by number eighty one, Doomrider! TOUCHDOWN DAEMONS!” Keith yells, and you can hear the excitement in his voice and the crowd’s collective one as it erupts into noise.

    “FUCKING NICE THROW, FUCKING NICE!” Khorne yells as he helps you to your feet, slapping you hard on the back.

    Above you see Kaleshi cheering for you.

    You spot Doomrider running back, a massive grin on his flaming skeletal face.

    The world is almost torn asunder at your epic bro-fist as his knuckles collide with your own.

    “NICE THROW!” He yells.

    “Nice catch!” You return.
    >> Mechciv !!zzKjllPcnrE 01/20/12(Fri)20:13 No.17611727
    This is my soundtrack for tonight's heretical love.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:14 No.17611733
         File1327108457.jpg-(56 KB, 600x600, AWESOME.jpg)
    56 KB
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)20:14 No.17611742
    Both of you sit down and watch, which is all you can do now as the defense takes the field yet again.

    …And lets the Orks hammer in another one.

    “Fuck!” You shout, but then you notice your team all grabbing things off of a table.

    Doomrider approaches, holding a plasma pistol and a daemonic axe.

    “Hey, what’s going on now?” You inquire.

    “SUDDEN DEATH MAN!” Doomrider looks downright joyful.

    “Huh, what’s that mean?” You ask as you stand up.



    Looking down at the table now, you grab...

    [ ] Double chain-fists

    [ ] Daemon axe and flamer

    [ ] Plaguesword and plasma pistol
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:16 No.17611765
    [x] Double chain-fists
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:16 No.17611767


    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:16 No.17611768
    Daemon axe and flamer.
    >> Mechciv !!zzKjllPcnrE 01/20/12(Fri)20:16 No.17611770
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:16 No.17611771
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:17 No.17611776

    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:17 No.17611781
    Max is a 15 foot tall demon prince.
    >[X] Double frucken chain-fists
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:17 No.17611787
    [X] Plaguesword and plasma pistol
    Last I remember Papa plays nurgle.
    >> Shas'Vre Kir'qath !fFfDI2K3VQ 01/20/12(Fri)20:18 No.17611794
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    Axe and flamer!
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:18 No.17611800
    double chain fists!
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:19 No.17611810
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:19 No.17611814
    fishing pole we are best fisherman
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:19 No.17611815
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:20 No.17611826
    can't we chainfist and axe?

    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:20 No.17611828
    [X] Plaguesword and plasma pistol
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:20 No.17611832

    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:21 No.17611842

    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:23 No.17611861
    [x] fishing pole
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:23 No.17611871
    The best fisherman in the universe!
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:24 No.17611873
    Summon the Nemesis Axe and Mind bullets, Flame On as well!
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/20/12(Fri)20:24 No.17611880
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:25 No.17611886
    For the love of god, chain fists.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:25 No.17611893
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    Someone say Fishing Pole?
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:26 No.17611903

    [x] fishing pole
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:26 No.17611905
    we are the best fisherman
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:26 No.17611907
    Chain fist, whatever the hell that is.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:28 No.17611930
    Use the biggest spikiest demon you can find as a weapon.

    HARD MODE: Use Khorne as a weapon.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:28 No.17611934
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    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:29 No.17611947
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    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:29 No.17611950
    Use Khorne as a bait.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)20:30 No.17611967
    “I like where this game is going.” You reply with an evil smirk.
    Oh fuck it, you slip into the chainfists. Two of your teammates help you out, and get them secured.

    After, you grab the daemon axe and the flamer off the table.
    Kaleshi appears suddenly at your side, grinning ear to ear.

    “This is the greatest game ever. But you had better not die here, I’ll be pissed if you do.” With that, she sets a pair of sunglasses on you and sticks a lit cigar in your mouth.

    “Hey, where did you get a cigar?” You wonder.

    “Oh that? Creed handed it to me and told me to give it to you, he seemed REALLY pushy now that I think about it…” She trails off, her face screwed up as she thinks back.

    “Well, tell him thanks. I guess?”

    Kaleshi grins, before giving you a kiss on the lips. This causes you to panic slightly, as Khorne is standing right fucking there, but he doesn’t seem to give a single fuck today. He just wants a ring.

    “HAHA, TIME FOR SUDDEN DEATH!” Doomrider cackles, stepping back onto the field.

    Across from him stand the entirety of the Ork team, looking tough and mean in their ‘eavy arma, powerklaws and bit choppas flashing in the sun.

    With one last kiss from Kaleshi, you follow the team back onto the field, lining up opposite the Orks.

    “Now the rules are pretty simple for sudden death.” Madden announces, “You just have to kill the other team without dying yourself.”

    A whistle blows, and without hesitation, you charge forward.
    Both sides meet in a frenzy of slashing blades and roaring gunfire. It’s a bloodgasm.

    You lash out again and again with the daemon axe, which cuts into Orks easily, severing one entirely through the middle. Though your celebration is cut short when you see several of your own team falling to the ground, and a particularly large Nob makes you his target.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:31 No.17611970

    All of my this.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:32 No.17611989
    Oh god.

    A titan is going to appear from that Cigar.

    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:32 No.17611991
    [x]fishing pole
    >> Platyspy 01/20/12(Fri)20:33 No.17612009
    Feh, using a Daemon as your waepon is pansy mode. What you really need to do is use one of the OTHER team's players!
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:33 No.17612010


    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:34 No.17612020
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    you remember how Emps got supercharged at the beginning of the thread and now that Max is in daemon form?

    Shit is about to go down.
    >> Mechciv !!zzKjllPcnrE 01/20/12(Fri)20:34 No.17612021
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/20/12(Fri)20:35 No.17612037
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    >MFW Creed has our back
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)20:39 No.17612106
    Lashing out with the flamer, you watch as the fire nicks at the Ork, who doesn’t seem overly bothered…

    His powerklaw knocks the axe right out of your hand, and the flamer runs dry.

    Time for chainfists!

    With a massive punch, you drive one fist right into the nob’s stomach. He grunts as the weapon pierces right into him, shredding him from the inside out.

    Another runs at you, and you swing the fist into him, drawing a nasty gaping wound across his throat.

    Shit, another’s got you from behind!

    You can’t do anything in time, he’s going to smash you with his choppa from behind!


    What the fuck?

    A miniature baneblade turret extends itself from the cigar, takes aim, and sends a high-explosive shell straight into the Ork’s head, where both explode in a fireball of blood and skull chunks.

    >Creed takes a long, pleasurable draw of his cigar as he watches.

    >”Fuck I love it when a good plan comes together.” He grins.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)20:40 No.17612112
    Wasting no time, you delve right back into the fight. You notice Doomrider slashing and shooting, clearly having the time of his life out here.

    With one last powerful thrust, you drive your chainfist into the mouth of the last remaining Ork. Blood spews from the back of his cranium as the chainfist burrows right through it, spraying you with Ork blood and brains.

    The crowd goes from an impossibly loud roar, to pure fucking insanity.

    Khorne can’t contain himself, leaping up onto a table and facing the Ork side of the stadium.

    “Suck it you green skinned fucks! I am made of fucking rings!” He howls, lewdly thrusting his pelvis in their direction.

    “Max!” You hear Kaleshi yell, and you catch her as she leaps into your arms.

    “Well there you have it folks, the Daemons have just won this year’s Suberb Owl!” The announcer, Keith, sounds ecstatic.

    “I love this game!” Madden yells.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:41 No.17612125
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    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:41 No.17612130
    if the superb owl isn't actually some sort of super demon bird, I will be very disappointed
    >> Mechciv !!zzKjllPcnrE 01/20/12(Fri)20:43 No.17612151
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    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:45 No.17612172
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    >Creed takes a long, pleasurable draw of his cigar as he watches.

    >”Fuck I love it when a good plan comes together.” He grins.

    Papa-N, I want to have your children. Right here, right now.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:45 No.17612174
    Use our coach to kill the other coach.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:45 No.17612179
    >destroying the skull

    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/20/12(Fri)20:52 No.17612280
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    cue Guile's Theme
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)20:55 No.17612321
    red solo cup
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)21:00 No.17612404
    Yo man, get a winning team picture for Vect!
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)21:01 No.17612421
    Khorne gets the team rounded up and leads you all up onto a massive stage just set up.

    Kaleshi is still clinging to you happily, mumbling something about Ork dome babies or something.

    "What a game, John, what a game. I haven't seen bloodbowl that good in ten millenia."

    "It was a great game of bloodbowl!" Madden agrees.

    They are both at a podium on the stage now, Khorne standing near them.

    "It's with great honor that I declare the Daemons as this year's champions of the universe and present them with the superb owl!" Keith raises his hand to the sky with Khorne's.

    As if on cue, a massive being of unspeakable horror descends into the stadium. It's six heads snap viciously as its nine wings flap to keep it from plummeting straight down. In unison its twelve beaks open and utter a song that would have turned you stark raving mad were you still a mere mortal. It's black feathers ruffle as it finally lands, and Khorne throws one ARM around it.

    "Rings for the ring king!" He shouts, as all of you are presented with a ring detailing your victory here today in solid gold.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)21:05 No.17612485
    I've gotta go grab some chow, but if I'm able to, I'll throw up an overtime thread tonight.

    No promises though, got to finish some mad homework first yo.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)21:06 No.17612496


    If you have Max... Y'know... Give that ring to Kaleshi... And y'know... She accepts it as an engagement ring...

    I think we would all be okay with that.
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/20/12(Fri)21:06 No.17612498
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    >Kaleshi's face when
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)21:07 No.17612516
    You'll get your chance to pick the girl to finish this story with, but not this day.
    >> Mechciv !!zzKjllPcnrE 01/20/12(Fri)21:15 No.17612637
    no. ALL OF THEM. This is wish-fulfillment fantasy goddammit, why should we limit ourselves to just one?
    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/20/12(Fri)21:18 No.17612671
    whelp, time for some good ole street fighter while i wait for overtime
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)21:18 No.17612679
    There's gonna two endings, the popular vote picks one fine xeno, or not, babe(s), the other is the harem ending.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)21:32 No.17612878
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)21:40 No.17612978
    can't bump after autosage bro.

    yea you have to pick one girl but there will be a harem end as well.

    people still like Kaleshi?

    also, fuck this Michigan weather, people don't know how to drive in snow
    >> Platyspy 01/20/12(Fri)21:42 No.17613002
    Yes people still like kaleshi
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)21:44 No.17613022
    Papa, people don't know how to drive at all. When I was in the north I saw as many dipshits as I do now in NC.
    Also still like Kaleshi.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)21:44 No.17613025
    >still no coggirl love
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)21:46 No.17613064
    Just an idea but shouldn't we show /v/ these threads. If katawa shojo could get made.... Think about it Heretical Love visual novel...
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)21:49 No.17613098

    My gfs family acts like I'm some kind of crazy norseman (I am) because I drive when I want and dgaf about snow. I drive an old v8 4x4 pickup though, and they all drive econoboxes like they did in huehuehue land. I've already pulled her mom out of a snow bank twice and winter isn't even in full swing here yet really.

    Seems like some people still want that mechanical girl love eh?
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)21:49 No.17613104
    >/v/ getting shit done
    Seriously though, I thought shi/tg/getting done was part of us. I'm sure /tg/ could do this.
    >> Platyspy 01/20/12(Fri)21:50 No.17613107
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)21:50 No.17613116
    /tg/ is more like "We get shit started and sometimes get shit done"
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)21:51 No.17613121
    coggirl into yanderecron into robotic threesome. it must be done.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)21:53 No.17613153

    I wouldn't trust /v/ with it... /a/ maybe, but not /v/

    I have some shit written for Eight in Ren'py already actually, but haven't had much chance to work on it. A short little backstory for him.

    It will probably be text only because I'm a terrible drawfag.
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)21:54 No.17613156
    but where does crisis suit-tan fit in?
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/20/12(Fri)21:54 No.17613157
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    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)21:56 No.17613199
    With the tyranid option
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)21:58 No.17613217
    alternately with the DE twins, who are too into some S&M.
    so i guess they could teach her
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)21:58 No.17613224

    Of course we want more mech girl. We want more of -ALL- the girls, excluding the canoness.

    Also, may I ask what part of Michigan? It's horrid over here in Eaton Rapids. Our city's snow plows are basically tricycles with a snow-shovel duct-taped on. I've been called out to save two people already.
    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/20/12(Fri)21:59 No.17613237
    hm, y'know, one thing i'd like to see is some Tallaran action, seriously, not once have i ever seen anybody right anything about the tals
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)21:59 No.17613242
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    speaking of, where is my nid waifu?

    but then when will we have triple eldar combo?
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)22:01 No.17613268
    >Implying it won't be KalXEsh

    it's perfect
    >> Cidolfas Orlandu, aka Thunder God Cid !gYjELVKQn6 01/20/12(Fri)22:02 No.17613274
    Hey Papa-N, are we ever gonna see Bronifex or "Nurgles special gift" that Kaleshi mentioned earlier?

    Also, my friend lives in Kzoo. I think. Haven't heard anything about it being horrible yet...
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)22:03 No.17613291

    tri cities.

    I think its too late for a real nid girl, being that we are closing in toward the end of HLQ.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)22:05 No.17613320

    brofex with Ailia thread

    Nurgle's gift in overtime
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)22:05 No.17613328
    >we are closing in toward the end of HLQ.
    We are going to do all travels with the girls n stuff Papa?
    >> Cidolfas Orlandu, aka Thunder God Cid !gYjELVKQn6 01/20/12(Fri)22:07 No.17613359
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    >mfw OVERTIME

    >1798, cmmente
    No, captcha, I don't think cement was invented in 1798...
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)22:09 No.17613390
    >being that we are closing in toward the end of HLQ.
    On the last thread I will have this on repeat.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)22:10 No.17613412

    I want a chance to work on this VN of Eight's story, but maybe we will have a space pimp thread eventually or something.

    overtime won't be for a while yet, need to cook and then homework
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)22:13 No.17613440
    actually according to the wiki
    "Modern hydraulic cements began to be developed from the start of the Industrial Revolution (around 1800)"
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)22:14 No.17613463
    Papa you gonna tweet when we go into overtime?
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)22:16 No.17613492
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)23:19 No.17614329
    While we're at the game we need to take pictures for BONUS POINTS with the twins father.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)23:40 No.17614548
    Alroight we got 'nuff boyz ta go inta overtoime?
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)23:41 No.17614558
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)23:42 No.17614564
    I'm here
    >> Cidolfas Orlandu, aka Thunder God Cid !gYjELVKQn6 01/20/12(Fri)23:42 No.17614568
    Let's fucking do this.
    >> Spawn_more_Synaps 01/20/12(Fri)23:44 No.17614580
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)23:46 No.17614591
    >> Donny Yeng 01/20/12(Fri)23:48 No.17614614
    Hell yeah
    >> Rubbish Soldier 01/20/12(Fri)23:50 No.17614633
    im ere, lets do this
    >> Platyspy 01/20/12(Fri)23:52 No.17614650
    You have my Keytar good sir!
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 01/20/12(Fri)23:53 No.17614657

    'ere we gooooo
    >> Anonymous 01/20/12(Fri)23:53 No.17614663
    New thread boyz. Go git em.

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