*sigh*
Times are tough...

>Female
>Chosen One
Stop eating the mushrooms in your garden.

>>17739341
That's...depressing as hell, knowing he loved her.

I think I'm going to go sit in a corner for a bit.

So i'm Jesus' stephdad?

>You ultimately end up marrying the slightly overweight redheaded baker's daughter

So what does the daughter look like?

>>17739356
Stop reminding me of things long gone.

>>17739341
>Slightly overweight redheaded bakers daughter

I'm WINNING.

>>17739356
I hear ya, this world's going crazy. Lately I've heard that some dwarves can't afford caves so they have taken to living in hobbit holes for Pelor's sake. It's causing a huge housing crisis where I live.

I like how you tried to leaven the NTR with the slightly overweight redheaded baker's daughter, but nothing's going to mask that NTR stink, OP.

>>17739399
*sigh*
Times are tough...

You think you have things bad? Banishing evil from the land put us adventurers out of work. I don't know how to do anything but kill and loot, then loot and kill.

>>17739341
S'cool. I'm not really one for being in the spotlight anyway.

Besides, I kinda got a thing for chubby redheads, and hey, marrying a baker's daughter means free pastries whenever I want - can't go wrong there.

Bet little miss Chosen One is probably too full of herself now to lift a finger, anyway. Enjoy serving your queen, mister sidekick - you don't expect a world-saving hero to stoop to cooking and cleaning, do you?

>>17739398
This. So at least she'll stay young.

>>17739440

how about raping the field?

no faggots. The BAKER is slightly overweight and redheaded. but WHAT DOES THE DAUGHTER LOOK LIKE?

Damn heroes, taking us normal adventurers jobs! I can't even go out and kill bandits anymore without them swooping in and "saving the day" which includes taking all of the loot!

>slightly overweight
She won't be overweight for long. I'm the only source of food for this family, and I have less than an ache of barren land to farm. Also, I need to give 1/10 of my income to the church, 1/10 to my noble, 1/10 to that wizard up the lane who cured my grandfather from a mild case of death and 1/10 is sacrificed directly to the gods.

I would use the chance to become extraordinary to have a chance to piss her off.
...Stubbornness is such an extreme trait in my family that it might as well be genetic. It does pave the way for success, though.

All you need is a magic hyper-addictive aphrodisiac to turn the NTR tables. But you can't have any eyes. That's something a lot of people miss, and it's what makes or breaks most of these plans.

What the hell is NTR?

>>17739488
I hear you. I 'm thinking of creating an undead army to hopefully stop them. Permanently.

>I had to take a leave of absence from my job as a thatcher to morn the loss of my brother.
>He was a thatcher too and was dropping off some baskets to a costumers hovel when their house cat attacked him.
>The cleric said he was dead in about six seconds.
>It just doesn't make any sense, he was a healthy 5'10" 180 lbs male. How could a house cat just murder him and just go unscathed.

>>17739398
A redheaded chubby in medieval times? I can live with this.

>>17739523

Netorare - Sexual excitement from cheating on one's lover or something.

>>17739463

Loved that movie. You could see the actors' armor actually being moved/dented by the wind.

WHY ISNT YOU PEASANTS BACK IN MY FIELDS?! THERE ARE STILL POTATOES OUT THERE!

>>17739440
Just take a nice section of land for yourself. Kill the noble, rape all the women and slap all the men firmly in the face. It's what I did, and I've never been happier. With the chosen one pregnant there's not much anyone can do about it.

>>17739514
>But you can't have any eyes
fortunately I have a solution for that problem

>>17739536
It literally means "Having something loved taken away from you" or something like that.
And yes, some people actually have that as fetish.

>thank the gods for saving you from marrying a sue
seriously, "Blade of Eternal Endings?"

yeah, I'm sure eternity would like to end after hearing THAT name

overweight redheaded bakers daughter general?
overweight redheaded bakers daughter general!

>>17739440
That's why we turn evil. It gives us something to do, we get to experience the good life for a while, and the next generation's strapping young adventurers get the chance to fight our minions and be heroes and overthrow us, then turn evil themselves and continue the cycle.

And here I was, hoping this odd wave of NTR wouldn't seep down to /tg/.

>>17739341
Who's to say I don't marry the barmaid?

>>17739553
Exactly. You evil bastards and us guys who just want hero's to fuck off and stop stealing shit (Preferably through means of an undead army) Have a year long window of oppertunity here. Lets not waste it.

Dammit, I'm suddenly reminded of a comic I saw where a PC was being a dick in a tavern, only to have one of the patrons stand up and say something along the lines of "Hey. I'm an NPC rat killer. Have been most of my life. Those rats aren't much, but all that experience accumulates. Fancy guessing what level I am?", at which point the PC squeaks out a "sorry", sits down and shuts up.

>>17739426
>>17739536
>>17739557
>>17739582

lolwut.

>>17739582
>NTR
It's called "cuckolding." NTR is the Japanese word for it.

On a related note, "waifu" is a Nip corruption of the word "wife." Feel free to use it on /a/ or /jp/, but on /tg/ either use the elven pronunciation or shut up.

>>17739612
>not scaling XP gain by level difference
Shit, nigga, what are you doing? Rats shouldn't even give XP past a certain point.

I join the BBEG army out of spite, rehearsing for years in my head the perfect victory speech, one that resumes all of my anger, all of my sadness, in one perfect line, so sharp, so cruel, she'll understand exactly how I felt. I fight in uncountable wars for my lord, win some, survive others, all just for that brief moment when our paths will cross again. And when they do, when they finally do, just before she storms into the Fortress of Evil, I remove my helmet and she recognizes me.

Then is awkward as hell. She tells me she's busy right now, we should probably go have a coffee sometime. I understand. New boyfriend is not as much of an asshole as I thought.

>>17739626
I really hate it when people use Japanese words for no reason.

>>17739654
A lot of Japanese words are really sugoi, stop being such and angry neckbearded virgin.

>>17739627
Hey, I'm not the guy who made the strip, just the bloke trying to find it again!

>>17739626
I'll use the high elven dialect if I want to and you're just going to have to deal with that.

>>17739626
WTF does cuckolding have to do with this thread?

>>17739654
eh, ntr is easier to type than cuckolding

>>17739626
>Elven wife
Vessë? I could see it.

All you'd need to do in this scenario is arrange some sort of reunion and steal her back with your magic touch. Heroines are especially vulnerable to this, Chosen Ones more so.

Bonus points if she stays with the guy but sneaks off with you frequently and ends up secretly bearing your kids.

>>17739669
shut up you gay-gin, you ain't even ching chongese

>>17739676
Fiance dumps you in OP for some other adventurer

>>17739654
Worst example I ever saw was a blog where the writer then popped the meaning of all her jap words in brackets after them.

>>17739627
Are you implying that fighting massive swarms of rats/moon rats/cranium rats shouldn't give you experience?

From humble beginnings, man.

>>17739677
If we're using abbreviations, one could abbreviate cuckold just as easily. Something like CKD.

>>17739727
>Are you implying that fighting massive swarms of rats/moon rats/cranium rats shouldn't give you experience?
it should, but not once you've gained a few levels. Step up, nigga, fight some zombies.

>>17739682
Sadly, so could I.
>Doalrl Apostolos
I think I just found the name for my next wizard.

>>17739740
But...but I'm a ratcatcher. Fighting swarms of superintelligent mage rats is what I do...

>>17739682
Good enough. Time to start forcing this meme like a /b/itch.

>>17739693
And now I actually sort of want to troll a Japanese Image board...

>>17739736
Yeah, but cuckolding isn't the same as netorare. Netorare is a fetish, where you derive some kind of jealous pleasure from having your spouse/girlfriend/significant other stolen from you, bonus points if you get to spy on them while it happens. Cuckolding is just your spouse cheating on you, no pleasure on your part.

>>17739770
>Cuckolding is just your spouse cheating on you, no pleasure on your part.
Sader-Masoch disagrees, and I think he'd know better than you.

>>17739770
>spy on them while it happens
>implying she isn't fucking him right in front of you, describing every single sensation she feels and constantly reminding you how much inferior you are to him in every way

I fucking love these threads.

>Join the militia at 12
>Gonna be a knight someday!
>Get a bit bloodied in training, get over it
>More training
>Patrol the town outskirts
>Pints with the other lads
>Still have to work da's forge most days
>Six years later, still apprenticed to da
>Sometimes fuck the miller's daughter Lucy while out on patrol
>Still could be a knight some day...
>Half asleep on watch three years later.
>Screaming in the night, run to investigate
>Best friend Royce is half-naked, caked in gore, being savaged by a ghoul, Lucy is screaming and pulling clothes back on
>Piss self in terror, ghoul turns attention on you
>It leaps as you desperately hold your spear aloft
>Impales itself as you lie crying on the ground, but gives you a nasty clawmark to the cheek
>Return to village with Lucy, hailed as a hero
>Free drinks, promotion, word sent to local lord, badass scar
>Feel a bit feverish a week later
>Definitely sick by second week, physician at a loss
>Lucy watches over you as you sleep during the third week, emaciated and feverish
>Doze off...
>MUST. FEED.

>>17739785
Well, then it's netorare.

>>17739789
Aaaand, sometimes this happens too.
*Goes off to fap*.

>>17739770
>>17739785
>>17739789
Take your unrelated fetish bullshit elsewhere.

>>17739842
>Well, then it's netorare.
It's cuckolding. Stop using a japanese word when a perfectly good English word exists.

I seek out her sidekick and kill him or die trying.
Bitch, nobody fucks my fiancée and lives

>>17739841

>>17739878
NTR is used to describe hentai.

We're on 4chan. We use NTR.

>>17739891
>NTR is used to describe hentai.
Cuckolding is used to describe the fetish in any medium, including reality.

We're on /tg/. We use cockolding.

>>17739891
DOn't start that shit here you faggot, 4chan isn't weaboo central anymore

>It's cuckolding. Stop using a japanese word when a perfectly good English word exists.

'Cuckold' is a terrible word that pales in comparison to cokewald or even cuckoo.

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU RETARDS TALKING ABOUT CUCKOLDING?!

>Chosen Ones always falls into despair when their loved ones die by the Darkness "surprisingly!" returns in the next season.
>Get lucky one time with your harvest and become a rich rancher which founds a big family with the slightly overweight, redheaded baker's daughter.
>See your Clan slowly rise to glory while smiling happily in your deathbed while your ex is bitter.
>everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg

>>17739906
It still is, but we are one of the few non-weaboo sections. We don't let that shit in aside from Yotsuba. And thats only because she's fucking adorable.

>>17739906
Fuck you, fuck your shit, and fuck your mother.

4chan is for weaboos, and if you have a problem with that, eat a dick.

Here, YOU are the minority, and here, you will bow to our laws.

>using a japanese word when an easy english equivalent exists

that's like the definition of weeaboo.

>>17739341
Its time for my own Adventure.

I will do everything she did but better.

But i will stay loyal to my wife.

Because disloyalty is unforgivable (including whatever fetish you may have)

>Be innkeeper.
>Have a good life running family business, marry millers beautiful daughter, she works as bar maid.
>Party of adventurers comes to town.
>Fighter constantly hits on your wife.
>She laughs it off.
>Think nothing of it.
>Later that night, cleaning empty rooms.
>Hear odd sounds coming from one.
>Peek in door.
>It's your wife, fucking the fighter.
>Leave silently, go to bed and wank self while crying.
>Wife comes in later, flushed and disheveled.
>Don't accuse her.
>After she's asleep, sneak into fighters room, and cut his throat.
>Run.
>Sleep in the forest, miserable and heart-broken.
>In the morning, cleric resurrects fighter.
>Party finds you with divining spells.
>Fighter kills you with a single blow.
>Wife doesn't even cry, tags along with the party as floozy.
>Fighter gets bored of her, dumps her in another city, where she is forced to whore herself out to make a living.
>Family inn falls to ruin.

>>17739933
>few non-weaboo sections

Those are on Reddit. There are no such places on 4chan.

Shouldn't you be heading back to Reddit now?

>>17739963
>If I accuse everyone else of being from reddit maybe my argument will b stronger

>>17739944

>4chan is for weaboos

lol it's not 2005 anymore faggot.

>>17739923
Because assholes always have to have the last word

>>17739841
fuck yeah peasants.

>>17739888
>>17739925
NOTAPEASANTGETOUTOFPEASANTTHREAD

>>17739341
>start good thread about living a peaceful life

>thread gets derailed by fetishistic cuckolding bullshit

What the hell is wrong with you, /tg/? I thought you were better than this.

>>17739978
But we still party like it is.

>>17739944
>4chan is for weaboos
/tg/ is not. Get the FUCK out. Here are some boards more suited to your interests:

>>>/a/
>>>/c/
>>>/w/
>>>/m/
>>>/cgl/
>>>/cm/
>>>/jp/
>>>/vp/
>>>/i/
>>>/po/
>>>/h/
>>>/e/
>>>/u/
>>>/d/
>>>/y/

PICK ONE AND GO.

>weaboos unwelcome even on 4chan

You guys have really hit rock bottom, huh?

lol put my dick in the chosen ones ass

tell all my children/grandchildren

lawl into my grave

>>17739944
/tg/ is accepting of japan. We like manga and anime more than /a/; most people here will have played at least one jRPG and it's hard to look down on otaku when we also shut ourselves in our basement collecting tiny expensive figures. However, we are not a part of the otaku section of this website.

>>17739995
>start fetishistic cuckolding bullshit thread
>thread is about fetishistic cuckolding bullshit

ftfy

Aw yes!

>> Be son of a farmer in the Heartlands, be out all day, tending them crops
>> It's nice and quiet here, but some dark rumours from the Border
>> One day, her a commotion from the road & rush over with nothing but my spade
>> Two people clad in armor fighting wee, green creatures, they seem in bit of bind
>> Charge the wee men and smash one's head in, and in the resulting confusion the armored ones finish the rest off
>> They lift their visors and thank me, only through the voice I can tell one of them is a woman, but both of them are ugly as hell, worse than Ol' Emmerson, who survived says it was something bubonic or so
>> They leave, and I go back to my crops, they need that extra attendance
>> Later that year, during the harvest ours is bestest field! Everyone in town gives us jealous looks
>> On one evening in the barn that lass Lissa approaches me, she's got the greatest hips in town, the kind of which promises you all the children you'd ever want
>> She tells me she saw my heroics in spring and is even more impressed by my crops - that night another wheat ear rises
>> Marry sweet Lissa, have all the children I've ever wanted and live the good life
>> Sometimes think about those two on the road, and tell my children about them - but in the end always me and Lissa say, what really mattered was them crops!

Cuckolding generally focuses on the woman finding sexual (and sometimes emotional) fulfillment with another man. The main characters are the woman and the bull.

NTR generally focuses on the woman receiving sexual satisfaction from another man and her partner being depressed, impotent, and sometimes really dumb. The main characters are the woman and the cuck.

>>17739998
/tg/ is weaboo.

Deal with it.

>>17740000
Mike Ross gets quads. you're the best Mike Ross.

>>17739960
;_;
such is the life of an NPC

>>17739998

>>17739341
>Ex-Fiance ditches like the whore she is.
>is alright with this since i'm a knight captain for my lord.
>train every day for the next 30 years or so
>am now a general from my military brilliance
>lord goes to war in a major city many years later.
>find a women who is acclaimed to be some sort of legendary hero rallying their troops.
>its that bitch whore of an Ex-fiancee!
>take over the town since it wasn't well defended and though there was an incredibly goof fighter, superior troops win the day.
>she tries to beg for leniency towards herself and her people
>I ask did she think about that when she left me for what elvish bastard
>have the whore executed, mocked, and taught in history as a heretic for the rest of eternity who scorned the lord with her blastphemous ways.
>prosperity is brought through the land as my lord is crowned king
and this is how the law really works, women need to know their places in society.

>>17740055

>>17740020
WHERE in the OP was cuckolding mentioned or even suggested?

>>17740018
>However, we are not a part of the otaku section of this website.

We're not in one of the STRICTLY otaku sections of the website, but we're still pretty weaboo.

>Be the son of a local blacksmith.
>Group of adventurers walk into our shop.
>Tries to haggle on one of the prices of the swords.
>Fails terribly and dad tells them either to buy the sword or get out.
>They leave, on the way out one of them tries to steal the sword.
>Dad get's fucking pissed and punches him.
>The entire group starts beating the shit out of him.
>I cry out to my dad.
>They beat him until he dies.
>Group leaves, carrying the sword.
>Swear to find and kill these adventurers.
>Train everyday with weapons.
>6 years later set out to find them.
>Get killed in the wilderness by a roving group of bandits.

>>17740077
/tg/'s not very weeaboo at all. /tg/ likes a bit of japanese stuff but for the most part never goes near the point of being weeaboo.

>>17740031

Conflicted, self-hating weaboos are the marginally most tolerable weaboos.

>Smith's son
>Dad is pillar of the community, excellent smith
>Convinced you will never be his equal
>Best friend is promoted from militia to town guard
>forevermediocre.jpeg
>While sulking around old stones outside of town, discover an amazing, ancient shield
>Sneak it home and attempt to learn the secret of its manufacture
>This will impress dad!
>Continue to be unsatisfied with other work, convinced dad is disappointed
>Best friend is loved around town, her ladyship's pretty maid even likes him
>Fixate on the shield. I'll show them.
>Start hearing a voice
>Reflection in shield begins talking to you
>Vent all your frustrations to it
>Shield offers to help - claims to be named Syrtax, and trapped in the shield
>'Free me, and I'll make you better'
>Still unsure
>Dad and Rufus successfully topple inept ruler with the help the lady and her maid.
>Why always him?
>TAKE THIS! MY PAIN, MY LOVE, AND ALL OF MY ENVY!
>Shatter shield
>Room is covered in ice, no sign of Syrtax
>Feel a profound sense of loss, worse than when mother died
>Realise sudden, magical power
>Challenge Rufus to a duel, use a contact poison made from your now-cold blood to paralyze him during the goodwill handshake
>Demand he acknowledge you as his superior
>Attempt to taint him like yourself; he commits suicide in defiance
>Rule town with Dad. Rufus, the lady, and her maid flee
>Later driven away by the Inquisition as hell-borne powers increase
>Become infamous plotter, poisoner, and Demonic blight on the land
>Hear a rumour about a Sir Rufus coming to destroy you
>No. No, you're dead! YOU WERE DEAD!

This actually happened.

>>17740055
That analogy doesn't go far enough. Complaining about weeaboos in /tg/ is like going to a Chinese restaurant, ordering something from their English section and being given Chinese food instead.

>>17740063
> Your beautiful fiancee
> (stuff)...celebrates by marrying her sidekick, a much better-looking guy than you, and you are, at absolute best, an extremely minor footnote in obscure history texts

>>17740085
Nigga, you blind?

Do you have one of those text-to-speech programs reading everything aloud to you?

>>17740085
Only because nobody of the kinda-weeaboos wants to fight with the one thing worse than a full-fledged weeaboo: A fanatical anti-weeaboo-crusader.

>>17740112
Do you understand what a weeaboo is? Liking stuff from Japan does not make you a weeaboo. Treating stuff from Japan as superior to non-Japanese counterparts - even when it's not actually true - is what makes you a weeaboo.

yeah, /tg/ isn't very weaboo at all. i don't know where anyone is getting this from.

>>17740109
No, it's like going into a chinese restaurant, ordering from the English section, AND THEN BITCHING ABOUT YOUR NEIGHBOR EATING A EGG ROLL.

FUCK YOU, I LIKE EGG ROLLS.

>>17740095
Not quite sure what happened here. Rufus committed suicide, but then escaped?

>>17740109
There is no English selection. You just went in and ordered a hamburger. And then started bitching when you didn't get it.

>>17740134
It's more like bitching about your neighbour putting egg rolls on your plate.

/tg/ is my plate, stop putting egg rolls on it, put them on your own plate (/a/).

>>17740127

Also using a japanese term instead of the relevant English one for no reason.

>>17740110
I don't see cuckolding. Cuckolding would be her marrying the peasant and making him watch her fuck other dudes. OP is just her getting a big ego from hero-ing and outright forgetting about him. That's not cuckolding, that's just being a bitch.

In other words, you dragged your fetish shit into an entirely unrelated thread.

>>17740146
>There is no English selection.
Then I guess /tg/ doesn't exist.

>>17740095
>Smith's son
>Dad is pillar of the community, excellent smith
>Convinced you will never be his equal
>A couple of times you manage to make a really nice sword but it's never as good as the one your great grandfather made hundred years ago with far inferior tools
>Adventurers stop by and unload a mass of weapons, all of them masterwork, on your desk and start bartering
>That one sword of your great grandfather is among the stuff
>It's not really that good compared to the stuff the adventurer already have
Captcha: lgutom blacksmiths,
>mfw captcha knows that feel

>>17740147
You came to a Chinese restaurant. Is it weird that someone thinks you might like egg rolls?

>Now ex-fiancee off saving world.
> Decide to to see if magically inclined. Turns out I am.
>shitjustgotreal.jpg
>On a whim take up necromancy. Use paupers graves and unclaimed bodies as fodder for experiments.
>Soon have a group of reanimated hobo's tending my fields.
>Start renting out reanimated hobo's to make money. Eventually begin doing this as a full time buisness. Start working on ascension to lichdom.
> "Chosen One" ex-fiancee and boytoy return to village triumphant, just in time for lichdom ceremony to complete.
> She founds a line of heroes that is forgotten within a century. I found and run the most prosperous company in the country. What now bitch!

>>17740127
Yes, and no. That's how it use to be, but ever since anti-weaboo crazies started using it in relation to everything that had an relationship with Japan, it lost some of that negative edge and is now more like how the word "geek" is applied to any non-physical hobby.

True, /tg/ is not weaboo in the "Japan is superior" sense, but it is weaboo in the "The OP image is an animu chick and that's fine" sense.

>>17740147
But this whole stupid argument started about using the phrase NTR, which is well known across all boards.

This would be entirely justified if people were posting anime on /tg/
But they're not.
They're using slang.

What you're saying is that you can't go on /a/ and say HERESY, because it'd be non-/a/ related.

>>17740147
Except that rather than ignoring the eggrolls, you're throwing them around the restaurant screaming about how much you hate goddamn eggrolls

>>17740170
Your analogy is flawed, the Chinese restaurant now branched out to other styles and you keep thinking it's the same restaurant and get pissy at the guy who ordered a hamburger and keep trying to put spring rolls on his plate.

>>17740147
This is your problem.

/tg/ is not your plate.

>>17740170
I did not ask for egg rolls, he just grabbed the egg rolls off his plate and dumped them on to mine, then when I asked what the fuck he was doing he said "HURR HURR YOU'RE IN A CHINESE RESTAURANT THAT MEANS YOU LIKE EGG ROLLS!"

I mean, fuck, I like some Chinese food and I don't even like egg rolls, just because a guy is in a Chinese restaurant doesn't mean he likes egg rolls. Maybe I came for the lemon chicken and rice.

>>17740138
I decided something powerful was sufficiently impressed with his decision it stopped him at the brink of death, and restored him to end the menace his friend has become.
Won't know how that confrontation plays out for a while yet, but in the meantime, best players ever.

>>17740180
>it is weaboo in the "The OP image is an animu chick and that's fine" sense
Well, that means everyone's weeaboo. Very few people object to occasional pictures of anime girls, on any website.

ITT: Egg-rolls and cuckolding.

Wut?

This thread proves that weaboos ruin everything.

>>17740199
Dude, the restaurant gives FREE EGG ROLLS TO EVERYONE.

The guy putting egg rolls on your plate? HE WORKS HERE. HE IS THE WAITER.

What have you got against free egg rolls? Don't like em? Don't eat them.

>>17740195
You can have your hamburger, it just comes with a side of egg rolls. Doesn't mean you have to eat them.

THREAD FAILURE.

CRITICAL DERAIL/TROLL LEVEL REACHED.

DELETE AND RESTART ADVISED.

This thread is made of retarded and eggroll.

>Been townguard for a few years now
>Really good at fighting with time
>Evil cult arises in the city
>You and the rest of the guard could just go deal with them
>Some folks who just got to town are hired to investigate for some bullshit reason
>They eventually find out the cult wanted to summon an ancient evil and stop them
>They are the town's heros and get paid three times your years wage each

>>17740212
>HE WORKS HERE. HE IS THE WAITER.
Then how come we drove here together? I don't work at the Chinese restaurant, I'm just getting some food. And I thought he was too, now he's the waiter? And I said no egg rolls, please.

>>17739341
I approve of this kind of Strike Witch

Man, the lives of smith's sons sure are interesting

>>17740134
>Go to 4chan to eat
>Hello good sir, I would like a heaping helping of your best teeg please.
>Here you go.
>Waiter, this appears to be jeep.
>Fuck you.

Whenever I order /a/ they bring me /c/ and whenever I order /v/ they bring me /b/. It's annoying. Thankfully, /tg/ is pretty consistently /tg/, with the occasional bits of other boards as side salad.

>>17740211
People who complain about weeaboos on 4chan ruin everything.

>>17740158
Cuckolding, cheating, same difference. They don't have to force you to watch, the one you love just has to go get something better. She's still a bitch for it and the idea fits overall.

>>17740243
I love those analogies.

PLATFORMS AS RESTAURANTS.

Wii: It's a McDonalds. The staff are friendly enough, but there are a lot of kids, and the food is rather repetitive and unhealthy.

PS3: The place is elegant and upscale. The waiters are impeccably dressed with flawless manners, and the whole place is surrounded with genuine Japanese decoration. The selection of food, however, is incredibly sparse, and it's somewhat poorly cooked.

Xbox 360: Seems like a fairly average restaurant, with a wide selection of nice food, although the waiters do seem trip and spill the food all over the floor every now and then.

PC: It's the fucking grocery store. Buy your shit and make the meal yourself. You can have absolutely anything you want and cook it exactly how you like it.

Mac: A local convenience store. You can get some of the things the PC sells, but for greater cost. And you can only get those things, none of which are enough for a real meal.

Linux: A dumpster out behind the PC grocery store. There is a fat hairy hobo there who tells you about the evils of recipes. If you root around enough, you might find some of PC's leavings.

>free bread
>plump, probably more suited for child-rearing
I don't understand the problem.

>>17740216
I DON'T WANT YOUR FUCKING EGG ROLLS I WANT THE FRIES I ORDERED.

>go to the american section of a food court with mostly asian restaurants
>retards start throwing egg rolls at me

>>17739341
>Slightly overweight
THIS IS MY FETISH.

>>17740243
Teeg has parts of Jeep in it, just like a hamburger has lettuce and tomatoes.

>>17740176
I feel we have been kinda served an origin story of Drew the Lich

>>17740259
No.
No, those are very different.

Saying cuckolding is the same as your fiance leaving you is like saying it's BDSM is when your girlfriend is out with her friends while you're horny at home.

>>17740235
You drove here together because you're a waiter too. We all are. And unfortunately we can't serve just one person at a time. A better analogy would be a mess hall. You get a hamburger and 2 egg rolls. Now shut up and eat.

>Incarnate as least Demon
>Toil in the painfields for centuries
>Summoned to war against another Demon lord
>Stand ready on the frontline, waiting to distinguish yourself
>Snatched up by a bigger Demon and discorporated to fuel a spell
>Motherfucker.

>Grow up in countryside village
>Theres that really old sword stuck in a stone somewhere out in the woods
>You and your friends were there a couple of times and played with the sword
>Always put it back in so you wont get into trouble with parents
>That one loner kid that never played with you has his parents killed
>He goes to the woods and pulls the sword out
>Some wizard/sage sees it
>He's supposedly the chosen one
>He leaves village to go off avenge his parents
>Years later the village gets burned down to the ground by people he pissed off
>You had just settled down after marrying the redheaded baker's daughter and started living happy life

>>17740275
THERE IS NO "AMERICAN SECTION."
/TG/ IS NOT AN "AMERICAN SECTION"

GOD, I'M SO TIRED AND ANGRY AT HAVING TO REPEAT MYSELF, I MIGHT START THROWING EGG ROLLS.

>>17740291
What if she left you tied up and gagged, wearing a cock cage and with a vibrator up your ass?

>>17740293

>a mess hall.

That's /b/.

>Be impressionable young peasant boy.
>Hear tales of a magical sword trapped within an ancient tomb.
>Steal away in the night.
>Find ancient tomb.
>All the traps have long since worn away.
>Ancient undead guardians have fallen apart into piles of dust.
>Open tomb.
>Turns out magic swords rust too.
>Return home empty-handed.
>Get beaten by father.

>>17740308
That's imageboards.

Stop arguing about stupid shit and start making greentext storys about peasants and how they are not heroic.

>>17740259
Cuckolding and cheating are no more alike than punching you in the face is the same as shooting you in the head.

>Grow up as Egg Roll
>Have delicious french fry fiance
>Fiance is the chosen ordered dish
>Destroys all rotten cheese across the land
>Marries delicious hamburger sidekick
>Ultimately end up marrying the slightly-too-large-of-portion bowl of Ramen and being eaten by some asian man

Cuckolding general.

> Your beautiful fiancee learns that she is the Chosen One
> Wielding the Blade of Eternal Endings, she banishes evil from the land for the next ten generations, and celebrates by marrying her sidekick, a much better-looking guy than you, and you are, at absolute best, an extremely minor footnote in obscure history texts
> You ultimately end up marrying the slightly overweight redheaded baker's daughter
>You live in a boring marriage for two years before discovering her journal
>Turns out she only married you because her childhood friend she was waiting to marry her turned out to be the son of the Legendary Hero and had to go save his father.
>No Fate, you bend over.
>Take the missus to the Jenkins farm that very night and tell him you're here about the rat problem
>Moved up to the town orc problem half a year later
>It's ten years before you return home. She lost weight but is an absolute patchwork of scars and you're missing an eye and your left hand.
>Neither of you care about what happened to the other. You fell in love during your adventure, the way each of you always hoped to find the one you'd marry.
>Both of you serve in the town militia when needed and reopen her father's old bakery
>While you're at it, your wife is a fucking tiger in the sack after getting in shape.
>8 adorable children, every one of which is frequently reminded that Fate is their bitch.

>>17740314
>>17740297
Notsolegendaryswordmind

I JUST WANTED A HAMBURGER

I only came here for the bean and lotus seed buns, and suddenly everybody's all up in arms about egg rolls of all things.

See if I ever visit this restaurant again. Also I'm a health inspector and a food critic.

>own a burger stand in Chinatown
>people keep throwing egg rolls at my customers
>mfw

>>17740321

>>17739770
Wee bit late in saying this, but that is what Cuckolding is as well. Theres varying levels of it of course, but it generally is your spouse/girlfriend cheating while berating their spouse.

>>17740321
>slightly-too-large-of-portion bowl of Ramen

I know those bowls.

They are -just- slightly too large.

>Born the son of a baker
>Enjoy slightly better diet than the other peasants
>Learn a valuable trade
>Give sweetrolls to the pretty, plump, red-headed innkeeper's daughter
>One day discover a natural talent for magic
>Rush to tell dad
>Burned for witchcraft

>>17740263
Linux is more like being a hermit - you know exactly what's in everything you cook, because you had to grow/harvest/hunt it yourself. But it's labor-intensive, there's a lot of things that are still impossible to get without having to go to the store, and people who enjoy it tend to have crazy hair and unusual body odor.

>>17740299
>GOD, I'M SO TIRED AND ANGRY AT HAVING TO REPEAT MYSELF, I MIGHT START THROWING EGG ROLLS.

LOL.
I just got here, and this is what I see.
fucking brilliant. I am Asian and I do indeed have some egg rolls. giving you an egg roll instead of a cookie.

>>17740183
Please don't tell me you use HERESY on other boards. It's sort of acceptable on /v/, due to DoW, but /a/?

>>17740321

Cuckolding and netorare are the same thing.

It's ok to say netorare if you weren't familiar with the word cuckold - but now you ARE familiar with it, so if you still choose to use the japanese word when you know the word in your own language, that makes you an actual weeaboo.

>>17740308
/b/ has nothing to do with food.
/b/ is infact a mental asylum with very poor security. Every now and again a mad asylum released hobo walks into a random food outlet and exposes himself. Everybody knows they are there. Nobody brings their kids to eat out anymore.

>>17740336
YOU NO LIKE GLORIOUS MISO MISO? THEN FUCK YOU, YOU STARVE!

>>17740263
>Linux is somehow different than PC

I'm not taking the Heroes crap Anymore tonight peasant/adventuring brothers we start the true neutral army evils already eliminated and the heroes won't be able to stop the neutral horde once everyone is neutral there will be peace

>Female Chosen One walks into the bar.
>I'm a bartender.
>Not quite past my prime, but not getting any younger.
>We hit it off, she's really nice. Smart, too.
>Ask her if I'll see her again.
>She says sure, right after she deals with the evil wizard.

>I am now sixty years old.
>My bar is the largest in the city, I am wealthy and fat and finely clothed.
>I am still waiting.

>>17740367
PC in this context refers to Windows, even though really, PC could mean any OS.

>>17740325

>>17740359
No, I don't. But there wouldn't be a shit-storm if I did.

>lusting after a french fry girl
I seriously...

>>17740363
Cuckold is kind of an ugly word though.

>>17740392
It's an ugly fetish

>>17740299
There quite obviously is. There's a reason there's a "Japanese Culture" heading on the homepage. The Japanese Culture boards are from the chinese food menu, most of the rest of it is western food.

Furthermore, 18+ boards are the spicy dishes. If I order a mild omelet, I don't want someone to start slopping curry onto it.

>>17740392
>enjoying beautiful netorare word with girlfriend
>girlfriend says cuckold
>scream and cover your ears
>girlfriend chants cuckoldcuckoldcuckold repeatedly
>fall down crying
>girlfriend buys a hundred dictionarys, cuts the word cuckold out of all of them and wears paper cuckold panties while cheerleader spelling out the world C-U-C-K-O-L-D
>she spits on netorare
>you start masturbating

Someone asks what weeaboo term means, and mentions that there is an English word for it that would be better used.

SUDDENLY EGGROLLS AND CHEESEBURGERS EVERYWHERE. /tg/ ENGULFED IN WORLD WAR EGGROLL! THREAD IS LEFT A BURNING WRECKAGE!

>>17740363
I honestly do think there is a difference in the way the words are used.
Fetish vs thing that actually happens and makes no one happy.

>>17740392
And netorare, like most Japanese words, sounds like it's being said by a pussy.

>>17740387
>be suspicious of french fry girlfriend
>finally follow her instead of going to work one day
>find her next door with the sweet potato fry hippie
>mfw

Oh, for fuck's sake.
>>>/v/127374342

>>17740283
Holy shit. That was completely unintentional.

Which sauce is most like being cheated on by the one you love? Wasabi or Ponzu?

>>17740369
Wizards fuck everybody. 's a fact of life.

>>17740406
Touche.

>>17740429
>implying french fry girls go to work
0/10.

>>17740452
I said follow her instead of going to work.
Meaning I go to work.
And she doesn't.

Jesus, you fucking potatoes don't even know how to read.

>>17740452
No, he's the one going to work, you hashbrown.

>>17740459
>>17740460
>implying I'm potato-based
I'm a fucking aubergine.

Whatever, /tg/, just hear me out, okay? It's not really related to this thread, but hear me out anyways.
I went to Yoshinoya the other day. Yeah, you heard me, Yoshinoya.
Well, the place was crammed full of people and I couldn't find a seat.
So I look around and there's some stupid banner announcing "150 YEN OFF!"
What the hell are they thinking?
Don't come to Yoshinoya for the sake of 150 yen, you idiots.
One freaking fifty, for crying out loud...
There's even a whole family over there. All out for some Yoshinoya, huh? Fucking great.
"Okay, Daddy's gonna order the extra-large!" God, it's pathetic.
I'll give you 150 yen to get out of that damn seat.
Yoshinoya should be a brutal place.
The tense atmosphere, where the guy on the other side of the U-shaped table would start a fight soon as look at you.
That stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place.
Women and children can bugger off home.
Anyways, I was finally about to start eating, and then the bastard beside me goes "extra-large, with extra sauce"
...who in the world orders extra sauce nowadays, you moron?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to eat it with extra sauce?"
I'd interrogate him for a goddamn hour if that's what it takes.
Are you sure you didn't just want to try saying "extra sauce"?
Coming from a Yoshinoya veteran like me, the latest trend is this: extra green onion.
That's right, extra green onion. And an egg. That's how the pros eat.
Extra green onion means you get a little less beef, and a lot more onion. It's a bit more expensive, I'll grant you.
But then, it's delicious. This is unbeatable.
However, if you order this then you'll stick out, and next time the employees might recognize you and add you to their list.
The inexperienced need not apply.
Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say... is that you, /tg/, should just stick with a hamburger.

>>17740420
They're both a fetish and yes, both actually happen. Some people enjoy it, some people don't. Just like with every other fetish ever.

BUT IF /TG/ IS SOME KIND OF HAMBURGER AND WEEABOOS ARE SPRING ROLLS, WHAT'S MAYONNAISE?

>>17740466
Fucking eggaboos,
GET THE FUCK OFF MY TUBER BOARD

>>17740466
>aubergine
Why can't you just use the English word?

>>17740477
/g/

I think this goes here.

Enough arguing, more tales of woe and cruelties of fate!

>Born the daughter of a minor noble family
>Parents genuinely in love, mother treated as an equal
>Teach you about politics and compassion for the peasants instead of embroidery
>Father's political cleverness puts you in a position to meet the youngest prince
>Instantly taken with each other
>He's progressive, intelligent, and handsome
>Agrees something must be done to improve the sorry lot of peasants and women in society
>Political rivals manage to convince the king your father has insulted him
>Father exiled
>Lost chance to marry the prince, best your family can do is an idiot marquis named Wilhelm
>Wilhelm soon gets himself shipped off to a tiny border settlement with you in tow, so he'll stop embarrassing his family
>Ignores you, condescends at you, makes mistake after mistake
>insists the militia be armed with swords, not spears
>Bankrupts town, leaves militia poorly armed and trained
>Fat, gouty, idiot Wilhelm manages to incite war with neighbouring noble from a different home kingdom.
>Town sacked, raped, murdered.

>>17740477
The cum the hamburger left in your salty girlfriend.

>>17740477
/d/

or is that horseradish?

>Be king's messenger
>Kingdom is at peace
>Occasionally on the road
>Somewhat dangerous but not many bandits out there and your horse is fast
>Spend most of time in castle leading an okay life
>Never hungry, caring for horses and sometimes a serving woman
>War breaks out
>Risk your life several times delivering important messages during war
>Adventuring party learns of ambush threatning king's army
>They insist on delivering the message themselves
>Message arrives too late, everything is lost
>Your horse is fast
>Get the fuck out and settle down as farmer a few kingdoms away
>End up marrying the slightly overweight redheaded baker's daughter and living a completely normal life

>>17740480
>>17740482
Like I'm going to call myself an eggplant. That's an offensive term.

I'm gonna marry that delicious Wendy Peppercorn one day. Just you guys watch.

>>17740513
Man, lot of chubby redheads around here.

>>17740532
You know Peppercorn isn't her actual name, right? She just gets called that because she's been peppercorned by all the guys in town.

>>17739341
>>17739341

why wouldn't i have accompanied her?

>herbalists son
>the plague is spreading westward, everyone knows it
>trying desperately to find cure
>one day, gathering medicines, I see a traveller riding from the east
>stop him to ask about the spread of the disease
>he's plague-riden. Not long for death now. I offer him what I can and send him away from town, hoping to spare us all
>a few days later, ring around a rosie.

>>17740534
Probably why the kingdom keeps getting attacked.

>>17740532
9 children.

NINE.

That hole's worn out.

First of all, /tg/ is weeaboo as fuck.
We just have others things to talk.

>Be Normal Peasant
>Suddenly Dragon Attack
>"Is that time again"
>Live miserable 5 years sacrificing daughters
>Some hero "saves" us, not before breaking into each house and robbing we of everything
>Demand more money
>Pay little what we have left
>Live more 5 years
>Dragon Attack
>The Wheel of Life is turning

>>17740550
PROTIP: Vaginas can stretch. With proper exercise, she won't "wear out".

On an eggroll related subject. I always wondered what the Japs thought of all this staunch japanophilia that we have in the west?
Would be interesting to see what they have as a counterpart.

>>17740571
Japan has a MAJOR western fetish. If you think we're bad, they are 3x worse.

>>17740540
>herbalists son
>the plague is spreading westward, everyone knows it
>trying desperately to find cure
>plague hits your town
>you spent years and years learning about various diseases and there is nothing you can do
>random group of travelers enters town
>you tell them to get out while they still can
>they refuse and investigate the source of the plague
>they find out some dark magician was behind it
>apparently he also had a bullshit cure that shouldn't work according to everything you learned
>they are celebrated as the town's heroes and get paid a shitton of money
>suspect they were really behind the plague but dont say anything because you dont want trouble
>you ultimately end up marrying the only slightly plague-scarred redheaded baker's daughter and living a nearly normal life

>>17740532
Squints sure grew up, man...

>>17740571
They're massive westaboos.
They just don't like the people who live here

>Walk into restaurant
>Order a cheeseburger
>Get given a omelet
>Someone starts spraying horseradish on my omelet why grunting orgasmically
>Someone starts piling egg rolls onto my plate.
>Waiter slaps the plate out of my hand and yells "THAT'S NOT A HAMBURGER."
>Kicks me out the shop
>Walk back in
>Horseraddish guy is now squirting his sauce all over a guy with a bacon butty
>Waiter is kicking people out if buy a quarter-pounder because it's too popular.
>People keep throwing blueberry pies at me.
>Obese guy with half-eaten food stuck in his neckbeard starts shouting "WHAT'S THE MATTER? ARE YOU FRUSTRATED?"
Why do I keep coming here?

I suppose it's better than the restaurants down the road.

>>17740591
Like English words are a considered cool, and advertisers use them. Actually, this happens with a lot of countries. Also, true story, happened to a friend.
>At Mt. Rushmore with Boy Scout troop
> Just derping along.
>A wild Japanese tourist appears!
>Asks to his wife to take a picture of them together because he had blond hair.
Seriously, this happened.

>me and my peasant friends sitting around after drinking
>portal opens in the sky
>man falls out
>bleeding from the head
>points at me and says, "Why won't you die?"
>attacks me
>beat him to death with hoe
>local wizard comes to investigate
>tells me I have to find out where he came from, there are no adventurers to hire
>leave my family and home behind to take his corpse to the other wise of the continent so the Mages Guild can investigate
>have to cross three countries
>become involved in civil war in Nevalad'Ar, delivered Queen's identical twin children while under fire on her Skyship the Saltriana
>free the human slaves of the elven kingdom of Qualsolatranatha
>become priests of Valathnarada, God of New Beginnings and Music
>quell the uprising of the Orcs
>finally arrive at Mages Guild Hall
>dead body looks just like the head of the Mages Guild
>we begin to do battle
>he says he'll go back in time and unmake him
>hit him over the head with golden statue
>he falls through portal
>go back home
>wife died of starvation because she couldn't farm
>son joined bandits but got caught and is going to be executed
>elder daughter ran off with Elven priest of L'lathlanathla, god of Lust and Kinky Sex
>younger daughter concubine to local wizard
>someone stole my hoe

>>17740641
>someone stole my hoe

THAT DIABOLICAL BASTARD!

Things this thread has taught me:

Becoming the Chosen One makes you an asshole.
Someone on /tg/ has a cuckolding fetish and loves samefagging.
Never order cheeseburgers at a sushi bar.
Chubby redheaded baker's daughters make for the best wives.

>>17740628
Well that's a shame. Because I think Japanese culture is fine when you want something waaaaaay the fuck out there and there are certain combinations of facial features that I find very attractive that only appear in oriental women.

>>17740641
>me and my peasant friends sitting around after drinking
>portal opens in the sky
>man falls out
>bleeding from the head
>points at me and says, "Why won't you die?"
>attacks me
>beat him to death with hoe
>local wizard comes to investigate
>tells me I have to find out where he came from, there are no adventurers to hire
>fuck that, I'm staying home with my slightly overweight redheaded baker's daughter
>go back to field to pick up hoe
>someone stole my hoe

Get your NPCs right.

>>17740639
I heard about a American who showed up to photograph a sermon, and they made him the pastor when the real one didn't show just because he was white.

>>17740663
>sushi bar

YOU MISSED THE WHOEL POINT, IT'S NOT A SUSHIBNAVERVAH AGHSAGHVSHGAVSHAG

>> Live in small town, do my work
>> About to marry, but learn that my chubby, red headed fiancee is the Chosen One and has to slay all the evil
>> Say my goodbyes and move on
>> After years with a broken heart choose to marry the chubby, red headed baker's daughter
>> On the day of the wedding look in the mirror
>> Realize I am the chubby red headed baker's daughter
>> Be puzzled who I am about to marry, but go to the ceremony anyways, see the chubby, red haired baker's daughter
>> The priest and all present are chubby and red headed daughter's of the baker's
>> Finally remember that town is in a gargantuan mill and we simply process the flour and the I am part of a race of shapeshifters
>> Finally marry and live the good life I've always wanted with lots of chubby, red headed daughters

If that guy who said the manager doesn't eat eggrolls anymore in that /v/ thread that got deleted is here. He's actually getting back into them again.

http://archive.foolz.us/a/thread/60422738/#60422738

>>17740672
dem melons.

>>17740663
>Someone on /tg/ has a cuckolding fetish and loves samefagging.

More than one, but we don't let most folks know about it.

Getting NTR LIKE A BOSS

>>17740672
>facial features
>giant tits

Bro, would you even notice if she had a head?

>>17740663
>Someone on /tg/ has a cuckolding fetish and loves samefagging.
Where did you get this from? All this thread shows is that there is at least one person on /tg/ who prefers the word cuckold to the word netorare.

>>17740686
"chubby redheaded baker's daughter" is now a meme.

>>17740688
I said he longer ate them every night, but merely enjoyed them every so often now as opposed to the old days of setting up a restaurant to sell only eggrolls.

Also
>asking /a/ for recommendations

Even I know that's a shitty idea.

>>17740672
If you go there you will never hear a bad word about the west. They keep that talk to themselves (and online). And while Japanese hate westerners in other countries, they love any who show up in japan. It's really weird.

>be slightly overweight redheaded baker's daughter
>get involved with a rogue from out of town
>father beats the crap out of you and takes you to local herbalist to get abortion
>never again
>marry that seemingly boring guy whoose beautiful fiancee learned that she was the Chosen One and left him
>he really is kind of boring
>lead a normal life sometimes wondering what could have been

>>17740717
You mean "at least one person who speaks English properly and doesn't shove Japanese words in randomly."

>>17740721
>meme

This isn't the first thread we've used "chubby redhead baker's daughter". It's just like...a thing we do.

>>17739341

>Take her family to court for cancelling the marriage without my permission
>Win easily as her hand was promised to me
>She becomes my bitch after all since women have no rights
>fuck other women in our bed while she watches
>force her to raise them as our own
>only ever fuck her in the ass

>>17740730
That's debateable, I've been told as long as you stay in the cities everything is fine, but the rural japanese are incredibly racist.

>>17740730
Wasn't Japan a highly xenophobic country?

WAITTU PIGGU GO HOME

>>17740763
Why boner?

>>17740730
>this is what weaboos actually believe!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=hzmgyFQNvvU#t=132s

>>17740761
so it was already a board meme? Then why have I never seen it before now?

>>17740784
cus NEWFAG

>>17740784
Cause you're never on at the right time?

>>17740729
Even /a/ thinks it's a bad idea. Nobody likes /a/. But some of us still like eggrolls. So lets just keep serving them as a side dish.

>be peasant leading a normal life
>wife passed away a while ago but you still have your children to take care of
>one of them gets abducted by local goblins
>village militia is unwilling to do anything about it
>have to hire travelers to raid goblin castle and get your children back
>they want more money than you have
>forced to pay them with an old ring that is the only thing you have left of your slightly overweight redheaded wife
>find out a month later that they sold it off a few towns away to some merchant
>they never saved your daughter

>>17740766
>rural japanese are incredibly racist.

Rural people EVERYWHERE are incredibly racist

>>17740784
It's been in use for a couple of days. Unless you're incredibly new, you probably missed it because it's only been in a handful of threads.

>>17740797
This is probable. I am not known for my timing.

>>17740766
>>17740778
>>17740783
It varies. In the cities, you'll be the most popular guy in town. In the villages, everyone will hate you.

>>17740766
But rural people everywhere are a bunch of racist bastards.

And oddly enough, part of my captcha was a Japanese letter.

>be ordinary guy, good with a sword
>named after a saint robert - patron of loyalty and friendship - people call me bob
>used to be an adventurer
>have a great time
>friends get killed in dungeon
>mentally scarred, retire from adventuring
>enroll in army to make a living
>get married, have a daughter
>war breaks loose, have to travel away
>never see daughter growing up, money goes to family
>soldier on
>lose daughter and wife to ravaging undead while away
>return to same village because no money for transport
>learn that my daughter had sold her soul for necromantic powers in order to raise undead from ancient elven tomb
>those undead then killed her and her mother
>spend the days as a guardsman in a village
>spend the nights drinking heavily to forget my life
(contd)

>>17740804
>giving the adventurers their reward BEFORE they got the job done
I'm almost tempted to say that you deserved what happened to you.

>>17740822
so it's still new. Gotcha. Was thinking "chubby redheaded baker's daughter" was some older joke, the way that other guy was talking.

we need a drawfag to make a pic of her.

>be dough
>get pounded by said redhead
>made into bread, given to chosen one to take on the quest
>thrown away by 'gluten free' chosen one
>get eaten by street children
>chosen one gets irritable bowel syndrome

>>17740802
That's cool bro, and I hope you enjoy your eggrolls, it's just those eggroll enthusiasts that come to our table and try to get us to eat their eggrolls that we have a problem with.

>>17740783
The don't like YOU, they just want to get some of that sweet, sweet western culture they love so much. And they think you're made of it.

>>17740783
He sounds like he's trying not to laugh the second time he says it.

>>17740835
Why continue it? This is where the average NPCs story ends in bitterness and apathy.

>>17740835
(contd)
>groups of adventurers enter town
>kid i've known since he was a boy has returned as a paladin in shining armor
>says he's looking for people to help him and his friends explore a nearby tomb filled with undead
>same undead that killed my family
>mysterious stranger with a giant bow in the inn joins them
>think "why not" and join them myself
>help them kill undead in tomb of ancient elven prince
>encounter ghosts, zombies and flaming skeletons
>almost piss myself at every corner of the tomb
>manage to retain most of dignity
>explore deeper tunnels, fighting stronger undead
>notice cracks in wall, tell buddies
>heh, "buddies", reminds me of old days
>adventuring not so bad after all
>explore hidden room with my buddies
>apparently awaken strange flying creatures made of nothing but tentacles
>their touch burns me and breaks my body and spirit
>soldier on
>suddenly, the paladin takes a few steps back from encroaching eldritch horrors, says he "needs a break" and that he "believes in me"
>morale boost, i endure for a while, and slaughter more than my share of monstrosities
>feel my life ebbing away
>body is broken
>collapse
>last sight is of the adventurers grinning at me
>last sound heard is adventurers whispering how they're glad they finally got rid of me
>last breath used to promise my soul to the devil in exchange for that of my daughter

>>17740852
OK, just don't get angry if one of them falls on your plate.The things are slippery (and cuckold is a hard word to remember).

>>17740882
Because his death was perhaps even more tragic.

The players later met him in Hell. He didn't quite remember them until they left.

>Born the son of a blacksmith, next in a long line of smiths
>Grow up diligently learning from father his trade
>Eventually marry the slightly underweight blond haired apothecary's daughter and living a normal life
>Eventually have a son
>Attempt to teach him the family trade, but he's always off playing adventurer, and dreaming of becoming a hero
>When he turns 16, he runs off on his adventure
>You did not support his decision, but you wanted him to be safe, so you gave him the best weapon and set of armor you'd ever made.
>For the first few months, you receive letters from your son, telling tales of slaying kobolds and goblins pestering towns a few dozen miles from home
>After a while the letters stop
>Several years later, word finally gets back to you that your son was killed in his sleep by a petty thief
>Grow old and die, the last in your long lineage of blacksmiths

She said she'd come back. I heard stories about her, her travels, the things she did and I was so proud. I'd tell the people in my town, "Yeah, that's my lady." A while ago I heard she was traveling nearby, stopping in a town called Havergrad. I trekked 20 miles to see her, to surprise her. I asked a passing bard where the adventurers were and he told me they were staying at an inn. I didn't expect to see her with another man. I was enraged, and I threw myself at the stranger, this warrior that touched my love. He was too fast. Before I knew it I had a blade in my gut and I was thrown out of the second floor of the inn. I hit the mud outside and everything went black. I woke up there, bleeding and mangled and broken. The footsteps in the filth around me proved that they had come out to see me, to investigate. She was there, looking down at me, the person she said she loved, and she left. With him.
A man approached me as I tried to rise to my feet, slipping in the mud. He told me his name was Lasthe and he asked me if I hated them. I said yes. Lasthe helped me, healed me. He was always honest. He told me upfront that I am a perfect candidate for his experiment, that I was nothing to him but a tool. But through this, I could get what I wanted: revenge. I took it wholeheartedly.
By the end I wasn't my usual self. I had changed. The things we do for love? Ha.
The things I do for hate.

>>17740940
And that is why you have 2 sons.

>>17740940
>slender blonde apothecary's daughter
>not chubby redhead baker's daughter

You picked the wrong girl. That's why your kid turned out bad.

>>17740940
>he was killed for that masterwork set of armor and weapons you gave him

>>17740940
All the interesting (and shitty) things happen to blacksmith's sons.

>>17740976
I dunno, that Link kid turned out alright. Then again, he was the Blacksmith's grandson.

Come to think of it, I don't think I ever saw that kid's parents.

>>17740976
plump redheaded bakers daughter, shitty blacksmithing son general.

>>17740976
That's why all my blacksmith NPCs only have daughters.

>>17740976
>How often did I tell you not to talk to adventurers that visit the shop son? They'll only get stupid ideas into your head.

>be farmer
>father was a farmer, grandfather was a farmer, you know the gist
>grow up in small rural village
>everybody knows everybody
>marriage has been planned since birth
>get married to woman with grand fantasies of heroes and dragons
>i struggle to make a living
>we have kids
>two eldest die of pneumonia
>third kid seen as a miracle by local priest
>name him Kay after local legendary knight
>receives some blessing and a small amount of coin as birthgift
>use coin to support family
>kid grows up with grand thoughts
>his mother tells him stories of adventurers
>i can't understand his dreams
>he feels neglected by me
>he runs away the day he turns 15
>wife dies shortly after from plague
>only barely make a living now
>grow older and weaker
>catch the scarlet fever
>prepare to meet my maker soon
>laying on my deathbed
>hear spectacle outside
>boy runs inside the house, screaming of the vile necromancer Kaius Dantus
>his scream is silenced by sword through the chest
>last sight is of hooded man entering house
>i whisper towards him in a broken, hoarse voice
>"son, is that you?"
>he answers "yes"
>i fade into oblivion
>oblivion is grey
>oblivion hurts
>brains
>i hunger

>>17741030
>>17741001
>Be blacksmith's son.
>Have crush on plump redheaded baker's daughter.
>Strike up a relationship, ready to get married.
>Adventurers enter town.
>Fill your head with tales of rescuing princesses and plunder.
>Feel stifled by average life, run away.
>Go to capital city to meet princess.
>Manage to sneak into castle, and find the princess.
>She turns out to be a spoiled bitch, and calls the guards.
>You are imprisoned for three years.
>Finally released, you head home, thinking only of your redheaded love.
>Get home.
>She married the Mayors son, and barely remembers you.

>>17741001
what if the baker's daughter married the blacksmith's son?

Since only good stuff happens to the baker's daughter, and only bad stuff happens to the blacksmith's son...

Wouldn't that be the NPC luck equivalent of divide-by-zero?

>Be the son of a boat builder
>Father was a boatbuilder
>Fathers father was a boat builder and so on
>Family is pretty respected in the small town for being the only boatbuilders
>Marry a nice woman, raise a a small family.

Life is sweet.

>Have crush on girl in highschool
>Aliens invade
>She goes off to fight in the war
>Turns out she's a lesbian
>My home gets destroyed

>>17741081
Not the same guy; alternate ending
>Imprisoned for three years
>One day, hear rumors of assassinations from other prisoners
>Hear strange voice outside
>Not the usual guards
>Man in rich robes enter dungeon
>I am told to stay back in my cell or die
>Two guards wearing strange armor enter my cell
>Man in rich robes suddenly walks towards me
>"Let me see your face," he says
>"Yes, you are the one from my dreams"
>They escape through hidden exit in my cell
>I follow them
>Suddenly, stabbing pain
>Collapse on the floor
>Men in strange red robes walk over my body
>Get eaten by giant rats

>Father was a beekeeper
>Fathers Father was a beekeeper
>Father's Father's Father was a beekeeper
>our village is COVERED IN BEES

>>17741081

>>17741121

THE ONLY GOOD BUG IS A DEAD BUG!!!

Would you like to more?

>Be Dorf like my Ancestors
>Grow Beard like my Ancestors
>Have Axe like my Ancestors
>Dig tunnels like my Ancestors
>Drink Beer like my Ancestors
>Delve not too deep enough like my Ancestors
>Go home each night and beat my anvil like my Ancestors

>>17741163
urist mcanvilbeard.

you guys could just call it cheating you know

>>17741140
>Come from respectable line of beekeepers
>Local tradition states that you take the profession of your father
>One night, get really drunk on honey-mead
>Decide to knock up every single girl in town
>Become known locally as the "Father of all Beekeepers"

>>17741163
>strike through a wall into a natural cave
>cave is filled with monsters of all sizes
>die like my previous masters dorfs

>>17741181
Brilliant!

>You ultimately end up marrying the slightly overweight redheaded baker's daughter and living a completely normal life
>only slightly
I set out to correct this.

>>17741170
>Be farmer
>Have wife
>Have kids
>Have more kids
>Farm more land
>Eat potatoes

Name is Adam, son of Adam

>be a peasant
>the honourable and fair lord of your lands is held prisoner
>his son raises an army to free him
>you're a common-born, simple man who has never been more than a mile from the house where you were born
>Poorly shod and poorly clad, you march away beneath your lord's banners
>Brothers march with brothers, sons with fathers, friends with friends
>You've heard the songs and stories, so you go off with an eager heart, dreaming of the wonders you will see, of the wealth and glory you will win
>War seems a fine adventure
>Then you get a taste of battle.
>For some, that one taste is enough to break them
>you go on for years, until you lose count of all the battles you have fought in
>you see brothers die, fathers lose their sons, friends trying to hold their entrails in after they’ve been gutted by an axe
>you see the lord who led you there cut down, and some other lord shouts that you are his now.
>you take a wound, and when that’s still half-healed you take another

>>17741204
>There is never enough to eat, your shoes fall to pieces from the marching, your clothes are torn and rotting, and half your comrades are shitting in their breeches from drinking bad water.
>If you want new boots or a warmer cloak or maybe a rusted iron halfhelm, you need to take them from a corpse, and before long you're stealing from the living too, from the smallfolk whose lands you’re fighting in, men very like the man you used to be
>you slaughter their sheep and steal their chickens, and from there it’s just a short step to carrying off their daughters too
>and one day you look around and realize all your friends and kin are gone, that you are fighting beside strangers beneath a banner you hardly recognize
>you don’t know where you are or how to get back home and the lord you’re fighting for does not know your names, yet here he comes, shouting for you to form up, to make a line with your spears and scythes and sharpened hoes, to stand your ground.
>And the knights come down on you, faceless men clad all in steel, and the iron thunder of their charge seems to fill the world …

>And then you break.

You human commoners think you got it bad? Us non-civilized races have it even worse! I mean look at me. Just your average goblin-dude living on the side of a mountain by myself. Herding goats, foraging for ragweed, trying to avoid those asshole bugbears living further up the mountain. Then along comes these freakin' adventurers hell-bound on claiming some bounty on the bugbears. They're convinced I'm with the bugbears, even though I keep telling them I just herd goat and get snozzed on blended ragweed! What do they do?

sack my hut and steal my goats. They even took my crookstaff. Freakin' adventurers...

>>17741204
>>17741215
Copy pasta from the last thread. Good pasta, but pasta nonetheless.

>grow up in rural area
>learn you are Chosen One, have to save the world
>have crush on slightly overweight redheaded baker's daughter
>instead to live a normal life instead of leaving the village
>rumors of the threat to the world were greatly exaggerated
>people deal with it somehow without you

>>17741215
Such is life in Bretonnia.

Neutral Boring settings general?

>>17741215
>>17741204
I'm fairly certain this is exactly the same as something in ASOIAF.

>>17741228
>copypasta

>>17740763

Expansion and corrections

> My beautiful fiancee learns that she is the Chosen One
> Go to the Temple with her to meet her band of adventurers
> Introduce myself to all of them and have a decent time
> Ask if I can offer my services as I'm decent with a hammer and have some OK equipment available to me
> Denied
> Whatever, I'll be waiting at home when you get back
> Wielding the Blade of Eternal Endings, she banishes evil from the land for the next ten generations
> I show up at the castle afterwards to collect her/join her
> She celebrates by marrying her sidekick, a much better-looking guy than me
> Claims she doesn't know me
> pokerface.jpg
> okay.jpg
> Go home
> Come back with village priests who witnessed her betrothal to me
> Take her and her family to court for cancelling the marriage without my permission
> Win easily as her hand was promised to me
> Sidekick challenges me to duel
> Remind him that we met before
> Remind him of penalty for knowingly fucking a married or betrothed woman
> He'd rather keep his testicles attached thank you very much
> She becomes my bitch after all since women have no rights
> Invoke right to have marriage consumation witnessed
> Fuck her on a table in front of the whole court
> Fuck other women in our bed while she watches
> Force her to raise raise MY kids as OURS
> Only ever fuck her in the ass

>>17741243
Neutraldark greentext general

>>17741219
>Be goblin somewhere in the country side
>Never enough to eat
>Start stealing farmers sheep with a couple of mates
>Band of adventurers hunts you down, kills all your friends and tortures you for information about a supposedly greater threat that doesn't exist
>They let you go but you starve because your injuries left you a cripple

>>17741277
I stand corrected.

>be farmer's son
>be born on high noon of summer equinox
>old man witnessed my birth and told my parents i was "special" and "chosen by the old gods"
>grow up
>meet old man again
>he tells me to go into the forest and take the sword out of the stone in a magical glade
>i run into the forest
>i see clearing with large stone in center
>i move closer
>coal drawing of sword on the rock
>suddenly, angry bear
>be mauled to shreds
>bear walks off
>old man appears
>takes off pants
>last sight is old man jerking off on my broken body
>mentions he thought my mother was hot when she gave birth to me
>just as i die, he finishes in my eye

>>17741287
Easy to have thought otherwise. As a rule of thumb, I'd say if the setting has horrible magical shit that can result from moments of human weakness, it's more dark than boring.

Guy who suffers a personal tragedy, snaps, and kills someone before being hanged by the rest of the village is neutralboring.

Guy who suffers a personal tragedy and is manipulated by dark forces to wreak his vengeance at the cost of his soul and the human wreckage left in his wake is neutraldark.

There is a bit of both in this thread, though.

>be a tavern owner
>adventurers keep doing stupid stuff in tavern
>can't do anything about it

>>17741341
More like Grimboring

Needs more chubby redheads and happy lives.

>>17741344
>be tavern owner
>barely make a living
>bandits raid village of everything valuable
>adventurers come across village
>we tell them of bandits
>they want a reward for bringing them to justice
>we don't have anything
>they move on
>entire village starves to death

>years later
>adventurers return to village
>get killed by earthbound spirits

>>17741358

Well, in this case the axes are Noble/Grim and Bright/Dark.
So when we say the setting is boring, it's very Earthlike. Likewise, neutral is very Earthlike in regard to people.
Neutraldark is a setting where the people are like us, but the world is more hostile and full of dreadful things which hate you.

Grimboring would be a setting where people are largely assholes and resort to their worst instincts with little provocation, but at least horrible things from forgotten tombs aren't waging a tireless night-time assault on the town walls.

>>17741420
>Neutraldark is a setting where the people are like us, but the world is more hostile and full of dreadful things which hate you.
Hm... sounds kinda like White Wolf's "World of Darkness" setting.

>>17741397
>be chubby redhead
>live in village of chubby redheads
>adventurers come to town
>they have a priest with them
>priest says he have no souls
>we kill the priest in his slumber
>we capture the rest of the group
>we conduct a magic ritual to alter their sperm
>we rape them continuously
>we rape them to death
>we give birth to more chubby redheads
>we kidnap baby children of bakers and blacksmiths from other villages and replace them with our own
>life is good

>>17741437
That's how I'd describe it. Shading to Grim.

There's a chart, somewhere. Don't have it stored on this laptop though.

>Born into a family of gemcutters of mediocre standing
>Fall in love with the most beautiful lass ye've e'er seen
>Marry her and set out to start yer own home
>Cannae get a single sale, even though ye've been proclaimed the best gemcutter in yer family in over 6 generations
>Everyone seems to shun ye and yer beautiful wife
>Cannae comprehend it, until one day ye overhear some local boys mocking 'er fer not 'aving a beard
>Finally fed up with the persecution, and unable to make a living ye set out with yer wife fer the surface lands
>Set up shop innae nearest city of landlivers
>The fool landlivers pay a small fortune for eacha yer gems
>Ye can now afford to build a nice home, with a great basement below yer shop to live in.
>Have 3 sons an' 4 daughters
>Live happily with yer beardless beauty, raisin' yer kids

>>17741467
fund it, I guess?

wait...

>and blacksmiths
NOPE.jpg
Bakers' have chubby redhead daughters. Blacksmiths have gangly-and-awkward dark-haired sons. And apothecaries all have slender blondes of either gender.

Learn your NPC offspring cliche's properly, dammit.

>>17741467
Too much want.
>litytl foot-steps
Sorta, I guess.

>>17741541
This is important to know.

>Be farmer's son
>decide to try my hand at adventuring
>Goes okay for a while
>Take arrow to lower thigh
>Die of infection

> Be normal guy in a hive world, living your life
> See a man in ridiculous bling that you vaguely recognize as an Inquisitor, fighting two crazy knife-wielding people yelling about the "cult of Nurgle" or something
> A third cultist sneaks up behind him, you tackle the cultist and save his life
> After the battle, he thanks you
> Then he blows off your head when you turn around
> Apologizes to your corpse about the necessity of purging those who are exposed to Chaos corruption

> Your beautiful fiancee learns that she is the Chosen One
> Wielding the Blade of Eternal Endings, she banishes evil from the land for the next ten generations, and celebrates by marrying her sidekick, a much better-looking guy than you, and you are, at absolute best, an extremely minor footnote in obscure history texts
> You ultimately end up marrying the slightly overweight redheaded baker's daughter and living a life
>Chosen One likes to brag about how awesome her new man is
>Offers wife homemade sex toy based off him
>Wife asks what the point of making such a small dildo is.
>Offers Chosen One rolling pin, claims it's based off me
>Words are exchanged
>Wife smacks Chosen One over the head with rolling pin knocking her out
>Runs home in tears, afraid she injured her childhood friend.
>Explain dynamics of injury in an HP based system to her.
>She calms down and lets out her wings and tail
>We fuck like rabbits
>Continue spawning half-succubi bakers
>Men kill to marry my daughters
>Years later Chosen One elopes with young red haired pastry chef reputed to be amazing lover
>Live out rest of my days with beautiful wife and loving family
>Wish my eldest would write more though

>Be 14 year old farmer girl in medieval Poland.
>15 year old boy works on farm next door
>friends since birth, parents arrange marriage
>suddenly, war refugees from germany, eating all our food, not helping in fields
>famine
>suddenly, dragon, burns down homes and fields
>15 year old boy takes his father's spear, kills dragon
>hailed as hero, town makes it through winter on dragon meat
>15 year old boy leaves home to be adventurer
>10 years pass
>Hear tales of a brave knight, in shining armor with white and read heraldry adventure across the country side, slaying dragons and other nasties
>girl married off to the blacksmith's son
>3 children, they farm and blacksmith
>suddenly, 15 year old boy, nor 25 year old man, returns
>he's wearing shining armor, with white and gold heraldry.
>still has father's spear
>still remembers
>that night, murder blacksmith's son and your children
>leave with knight
>first night on the trail, get murdered by Blacksmith and his other sons

Such is life in fantasy europe.

>>17742767
>Turns out knight in town was white-and-red's buddy.
>Blacksmith was told to kill 24 year old girl by white-and-red

Such is life in fantasy europe v2.

>Born son of an innkeeper
>Grow up normally, happily
>Some orc stranger settles down outside of town
>Sets up a farm, turns out she was an adventurer
>Nobody in town likes her, fellow children tell scary stories about her
>Town only tolerates her because she helps fight off bandits and lives on the outskirts
>After a couple of years, word around says orc wants to marry in order to fit in more
>Father takes up on the offer because he could use a farm as well as adventurer muscle
>But I just want to play with other children!
>Beaten by father, forced into marriage with wife who is nearly twice as tall, lie that tears during wedding are happiness and not fear
>All those scary stories I heard are my life now
>At least I don't have to work the fields on the farm

True story.

>>17743533
>scary stories children told were true

Behold, the most unbelievable thing in this entire thread. Little kids are always full of shit.

>History is written by the victors.
>Failing to mention my lovelorn self, trying to win her acceptance gets into adventuring, inadvertently causing me to become the BBEG. After slaying her new love, her whole party, and almost she herself I stand above her and see the look in her face that reminded me of our love long ago. Who am I to take this life from her? Such a selfish creature I am. Succeed in my grand plan but instead of ultimate power reverse time to the moment she left.
>See her off graciously and live contently with my humble wife, the only one knowing of the catastrophe that befell the world by my own hand.

>Son of innkeeper, work at inn
>See yet another party gathering, in particular a foul-mouthed, morally deficient and overall offensive fighter/knight type at the bar
>Just another customer, serve her like everyone else
>She starts hitting on me, almost as if trying to win a bet
>Spurn advances, have someone else work the bar when she won't give up
>Tending the stables later, woman from before makes herself known, clearly drunk and touchy-feely
>Tries again at seduction, not at all interested in someone like her
>Drops the drunk act, grabs me by the neck, SHE"S SO STRONG, drags me to stable
>Turns out she's a blackguard, angered at my shunning her, raped and murdered
>Inn burned down, patrons torched
>Months later, blackguard shows up at grave, clearly seen some shit, kneeling and weeping, seeking and begging for forgiveness and atonement
>Visits and tends to grave regularly
>Bitch I'm already dead

Sooooo. . . Thread archive?