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  • File: 1329276900.jpg-(76 KB, 500x600, 2lma2zd.jpg)
    76 KB Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)22:35 No.17953740  
    my friend made dis
    is dis a good bard
    his dick sign is backwards to people see him in the rear view mirror
    his name is julius
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)22:36 No.17953765
         File: 1329277003.jpg-(16 KB, 148x164, 130882440092.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)22:37 No.17953777
    Are those castanets?

    Fuck yeah.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)22:38 No.17953793
         File: 1329277106.jpg-(90 KB, 390x390, teenage tau.jpg)
    90 KB
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)22:39 No.17953798
         File: 1329277146.jpg-(31 KB, 313x286, 1328573467076.jpg)
    31 KB
    O-okay then
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)22:39 No.17953807
    today juilius rold a saving throw n kild a goblin
    den he had sex wit it
    +10 to charisma
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)22:40 No.17953817
    Why does he remind me of spycrab?
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)22:41 No.17953828
    yesturdey julius found sum gold n a new lute
    den he rold a 7
    an he had sex wit it
    +10 to luck
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)22:42 No.17953835
    Am I a bad person for finding this thread hilarious?
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)22:46 No.17953893
    last week julius found a silvr mine
    den he kild a bear
    den he triggrd a trap n rold a 12 2 get awy frum it
    he didn have sex wit it
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)22:46 No.17953895
    Dude, I'm pissing myself here.

    Moral conflict be damned, fukken saved
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)22:47 No.17953907
         File: 1329277646.jpg-(88 KB, 891x550, 1328709163468.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)22:47 No.17953913
    on toosday julius fownd a hors
    den he played his song
    den he had sex wit it
    +10 to shields
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)22:49 No.17953930

    moar liek + 10 to handel animal amirite?
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)22:52 No.17953956
         File: 1329277956.jpg-(14 KB, 250x314, 250px-Haendel.jpg)
    14 KB
    If you look closely, Handel was a human being.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)22:52 No.17953961
    Some bard he was.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)22:53 No.17953967

    +10 to catching horse clap
    sumwun cast Cure Dicksease
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)22:54 No.17953984

    + 10 to profeshun: kumposer

    kumposer is now speshul choice in orks codex

    "Dat Waagh wuz sung so butifuly!"
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)22:54 No.17953986
         File: 1329278088.jpg-(26 KB, 390x292, christopher_walken.jpg)
    26 KB
    julius wuz walken home with gurl
    den she turnd arund n ran
    den they had sex wit it
    +10 to deadpan
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)22:56 No.17954000
    Wait, they had sex with what?
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:00 No.17954068
    last munth julius wuz at da tavern
    playin his songz
    den somewon sed he shuld play sometin els
    juilius rold a tree n a 17 to pass their resistince
    den he had sex wit dem
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:02 No.17954112
    hey /tg/
    creator here, glad you like it. stay awesome!
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:06 No.17954164
    wun day da creator of julius wuz drawin julius
    den he had sex wit it
    +10 to animul huntsmantry
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:10 No.17954226
    i got a fever
    and the only prescription
    is more julius stories
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:13 No.17954266
    one day the julius train had no brakes
    but then he rolld a twennyones
    and had sex with brakes he didn haev til he had them.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:18 No.17954313
    Oen day Julius went into town
    Saw a magician book
    had secks wiv it
    +10 to magician
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:18 No.17954325
    last month a wisard was castng sum spels
    den julius palyed his song
    den da wisard cast his furebal
    -10 julius
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:22 No.17954370
    one day julius wus angree
    he stormed intoo town
    he oardered a drink
    he had sex wit it
    +10 to angry
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:22 No.17954379
    wan day julius wuz walkin troo a cave
    den he found a goblun helmut
    den he rold a 12
    he had sex wit it
    +10 inteligince
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:24 No.17954395
    1 day julius wuz drivin hors
    den he turnd off hors and steppd outsid
    den he saw on da saddle dere wuz a hook wit no hand
    den he rold a 7
    den he had sex wit it
    +10 courage
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:24 No.17954403
    holy shit julius must have some fucking awful stats jesus christ
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:26 No.17954419
    Oen day Julius saw a pit
    he fell dawn the pit, and kept falling 5 ever because the pit had no bottom
    Rolled a 17
    Had sex wit the pit until he came back up
    +10 to stamina
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:27 No.17954438
    one day julius wuz haven sex
    den da phone rang
    he rold a 2 n ansrd fone
    but nobody wuz dere
    so he had sex wit it
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:29 No.17954472
    Yesturday julius waz carying a kattna.
    den it waz unnerpowered in d20
    so he hads sex wiv it.
    +10 to stat blok
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:32 No.17954498
    1 dae julius mote mun
    he insulate julius stits
    den julius roll a 20
    had sex wit mun an 20
    +10 to anal circumference
    >> Rubbish Soldier 02/14/12(Tue)23:33 No.17954515
    Goddamn /tg/, don't ever change
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:39 No.17954599
         File: 1329280790.jpg-(78 KB, 500x600, cleanedupjulius.jpg)
    78 KB
    deleted old one for cleaner version
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:40 No.17954607
    won day julius wuz cleanin his helmit
    den he saw a trol troo da shine on it
    den he rold a 14 dodje trow
    den he had sex wit it
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 02/14/12(Tue)23:42 No.17954626
    Oen dae julius went inna innernets
    he postes sum tred in /tg/
    roll natral 20
    he had sex wif it
    +10 epic treds

    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:44 No.17954658
         File: 1329281079.jpg-(67 KB, 501x588, c5d70ae4-9aa5-4776-9b07-2b5183(...).jpg)
    67 KB
    today julius were oiline
    eh found cheezburger
    hav ex wiv it
    +10 meme
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:45 No.17954672
    oh god my sides
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:46 No.17954682
         File: 1329281172.jpg-(37 KB, 256x256, 1318799142447.jpg)
    37 KB
    This is now /tg/'s version of /co/'s Creepy Woody and /v/'s Creepy Spy.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:46 No.17954699
    one day julius wuz walken on da sidewalk
    n sum guy sed he culdnt catch him
    den he rold a 7
    den he had sex wit it
    +10 gay thoughts
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:50 No.17954749
    I wonder if that's still floating around the workshop. Valves moderation was attrocious.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:51 No.17954761
         File: 1329281505.jpg-(85 KB, 500x600, forcedmemes.jpg)
    85 KB
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:57 No.17954842
    "Brett, what fucking shit is this?"
    It was Brett's DM. "Your bard is named Julius, and he plays the maracas? C'mon. And look at those stats! They're either godly or shitty, I can't tell which."
    Brett stared at his DM. "So?" he asked. "If you'll consult my sourcebook -" he rifled through the pages. "Here," he announced, and pointed. "Maracas are a perfectly valid bard instrument."
    "Not in my setting! Did you even read the campaign materials?"
    Brett shifted in his chair. The other players reached for the Cheetos.
    "Well, NO, but I skimmed." was his final reply.
    The DM sighed, and passed a hand through his hair. "Fine. Have your fucking Julius. Does he have any more third-party gimmicks I need to know about?"
    Brett shifted, again. "Yeah. Yeah, Julius does."
    The DM grimaced. "And what," he hissed, "would those be?"
    "He, um... He has sex with things."
    The DM nearly fell out of his chair. "What?" he spluttered. "WHAT? What the fuck? WHY?"
    Brett shifted some more. "A plus ten," he admitted.
    and den julius had secks wit dem.
    +10 roleply
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:59 No.17954859
    I love you
    my fucking sides
    >> Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:59 No.17954861
    I had to lol.

    I love you, /tg/
    >> Anonymous 02/15/12(Wed)00:04 No.17954925
         File: 1329282272.gif-(541 KB, 400x300, 1233928590_citizen kane clappi(...).gif)
    541 KB
    >> Anonymous 02/15/12(Wed)00:08 No.17954974
         File: 1329282494.jpg-(103 KB, 829x768, I Will Kill You.jpg)
    103 KB
    Nicely done, sirrah.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/12(Wed)00:09 No.17954989
    sir if you write more of these i will chew on my own dick like bubble gum
    >> Anonymous 02/15/12(Wed)00:24 No.17955184
         File: 1329283498.jpg-(255 KB, 1162x900, JULIUSSS.jpg)
    255 KB
    >> Anonymous 02/15/12(Wed)00:30 No.17955239
    what have i done......
    >> Anonymous 02/15/12(Wed)00:30 No.17955247
         File: 1329283829.gif-(1.23 MB, 252x252, Stinson Thumbs.gif)
    1.23 MB

    Holy shit. My first ever bit of writefaggotry that I've ever published, and it gets this response?

    .... Sheeit. Feels good.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/12(Wed)00:32 No.17955273
    you had sex wit it
    >> Anonymous 02/15/12(Wed)00:42 No.17955392
    yesterday julius lerned to read.
    fond book
    red it
    did no hav sex
    fond uther bok
    no sex
    fond writefag
    have sex
    +10 new writer feeling
    >> Anonymous 02/15/12(Wed)00:47 No.17955437
    A bitter wind swept through the plains as night fell. The old hermit turned his back to the icy chill and walked into his tent. His guest was busy staring at the hot soup over the fire.
    "So," said the hermit, "in return for my humble abode's use for the night, you agreed to tell me what your purpose here is." He took out two hand-carved bowls and began ladling soup into them.
    The man readjusted his sign, his only garment other than his hat, and held his hands out for soup. He mumbled something.
    "What's that?" the hermit asked. The stranger mumbled some more. "I couldn't hear you. Speak up, child."
    The guest looked the old man in the eye. " Party make Julius leave. Said they never want Julius in first place." The old man handed him soup. "Your name is Julius? Well, I'm Hemmon. I live out here. I'm glad I found you when I did. You looked close to death."
    He sat down, across from Julius. "So, Julius, you were an adventurer?"
    Julius nodded, gulping soup furiously.
    "And your party kicked you out?"
    Julius nodded again.
    Julius swallowed the remains of his soup and looked down in shame. "Julius play maracas too loud. Party no like maraca bard." The old man wrinkled his brow. "That's hardly a reason to get rid of a fellow companion."
    Julius went bright red and shook his head. He mumbled again.
    The old man frowned again. "Boy, my hearing is going quickly. Speak loudly, or speak not."
    "Julius have too much sex."
    "What? Why?"
    Julius looked down again. "Julius get plus ten."
    den julius get kiked out
    eh finds mountain
    ahve secks wiv it
    +10 dworf nature check
    >> Anonymous 02/15/12(Wed)00:55 No.17955513
    Well, it seems that I have jumped the shark already. It's okay, though: Julius probably had sex with it first.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/12(Wed)02:01 No.17956356
    one day julius saw he wuz paeg sx
    ths maked hiom mad
    he took laptop
    had sex
    +10 bump

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