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  • File: 1329611814.png-(133 KB, 470x350, bestcharacter.png)
    133 KB Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)19:36 No.18004136  
    /tg/ today I must become That Guy. Guide me. Story at 11.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)19:38 No.18004163
    When was the last time you bathed? If your answer is any time within the last week, you need to take an onion, cut it in half, and rub it into your armpits as if it were deodorant. Then you you must consume this onion.

    Use "h" words liberally.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)19:39 No.18004179
    >>18004163
    Hygeine? Hump?
    >> LEEERRRROOOOYYYY JEEENNNNKKKKIIINNNNNSSSSS 02/18/12(Sat)19:41 No.18004208
    I saw the picture and thought of Doctor Jackal and Mr. Hide.
    >> El_Nazgir 02/18/12(Sat)19:42 No.18004219
         File: 1329612154.jpg-(114 KB, 385x426, Huffalump.jpg)
    114 KB
    >>18004179
    Huffalump
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)19:43 No.18004245
    Okay. Don't bathe, rub onions on myself, say huffalump a lot.
    Now what the fuck do I actually do in-game?
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)19:44 No.18004259
    >>18004245
    sweat profusely
    >> El_Nazgir 02/18/12(Sat)19:44 No.18004265
    >>18004245
    Be a dick. I'm guessing that's not gonna be hard, considering you actually want to be That Guy.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)19:44 No.18004266
    Why?
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)19:45 No.18004275
    >>18004245
    Kill all NPCs on site. Make sure your alignment is Chaotic Evil.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)19:46 No.18004291
    >>18004275
    Don't you mean Chaotic Neutral?
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)19:46 No.18004294
    >>18004245
    Call out everyone one everything, even if you agree with it, be as disagreeable as possible

    Make a Spooshal Snowflake character
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)19:47 No.18004303
    Just act in the game like you'd act here.
    That Guy and /tg/, same thing.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)19:50 No.18004346
    Find what your targets enjoy about the game and twist it against them.
    If they seek to escape, make the game reflect their life.
    If they want to roleplay, kill NPCs.
    If they want to kill things, insist you capture them.

    Use this knowledge for good, or the wrath of the Emprasque shall fall upon you.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)19:50 No.18004347
         File: 1329612640.jpg-(129 KB, 593x647, 1267402635248.jpg)
    129 KB
    Is wanting to be That Guy a thing, now? Are people really desperate for pic related?
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)19:50 No.18004349
    >>18004275
    No, make sure your alignment is Lawful Good, but PLAY like you are Chaotic Evil. Then justify how all your actions are Lawful Good.

    Also, don't kill all the NPCs right away. Half the female NPCs, rape, THEN kill them. The other half, kill THEN rape.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)19:51 No.18004361
    Mary sue, kill all useful npcs and plot npcs that the DM throws at you, try to steal things from the other players and act like a victim if they downright try to kill you and complain to the GM
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)19:52 No.18004376
    >>18004346
    If they want gritty realism, grab the biggest hammer you can and play a catgirl.
    >> That McGuyver 02/18/12(Sat)19:57 No.18004455
    >>18004291
    Argue that all your actions show you are CN. Plot the fall of the druid, paladin, and cleric. Kill all npcs on sight. Come up with randumb ideas, and insist the group to try them. Loot bodies during combat. Hoard all the loot, even if you don't need it and someone else does. Waste the cleric's heals on scrapes so the fighter gets none. Propose the group play fatal/racial holy wars. Bring the .pdf. Ask if you can play your homebrew class, flavor after some shit anime. Brag about how cool your previous character was and how good your old dm was. Make jokes that make other players uncomfortable, or perhaps rp that way. Pick up a trap npc and go into great detail of you raping it. Bring fetishes into game, the more fucked up the better. Scat is a good choice. Pick fights with everyone, whine when you get beat.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)19:58 No.18004467
         File: 1329613101.jpg-(33 KB, 640x480, 183680-aisha12[1].jpg)
    33 KB
    >>18004376

    Even better, play it like this catgirl here. Be loud, stupidly tough, and go all out with that hammer!
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)19:59 No.18004482
    >>18004467
    Minus super-strength and animal tendencies.
    You're a little human girl with CAT EARS LOOK AT MY EARS!
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)20:01 No.18004507
    OP here. We're playing a space opera game and this shitty GM is GMPCs forever so most NPCs that will actually speak to us are probably at least twice as powerful as the total of our party so I will probably be teleported to a magical prison to atone for my shit if I try attacking the NPCs directly.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)20:02 No.18004518
    >>18004303
    >>18004303
    >>18004303
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)20:03 No.18004536
    >>18004507
    That's not GMPC, that's "NO you are not going to derail another adventure by killing everyone."
    Sounds like you TG your regular group. Shame on you.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)20:05 No.18004567
    >>18004507
    This thread is now How To Deal With That Guys.
    1. If he kills NPCs, make them hellu strong.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)20:08 No.18004599
         File: 1329613701.jpg-(32 KB, 450x381, 1323828941960.jpg)
    32 KB
    >>18004567
    Wrong.

    If he kills the npc, bring the filler, allow things to go on, let the narrative go without them and let them see the train they missed.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)20:09 No.18004613
    >>18004536
    You can determine that based on a single sentence containing very little information?
    >> That McGuyver 02/18/12(Sat)20:09 No.18004620
    >>18004507
    Ah that's your situation. Go to suptg and look up al kapown. You must surpass our steampunk god.

    Casually ask about diseases/poisons that are incurable/deadly in universe. Start a brewery or something of the sort. To help build up a reputation, give out free samples to the npcs. You should see where this is going.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)20:10 No.18004642
    >>18004613
    I extrapolated from the fact that he wants to TG and that his GM has stuff in place to prevent common TG issues.

    >>18004599
    I like that.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)20:10 No.18004644
    >>18004507
    OP, I think you're already That Guy
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)20:11 No.18004658
    >>18004567
    2. If he insists on bringing his dick into the fray, homebrew some STDs.
    >> That McGuyver 02/18/12(Sat)20:16 No.18004732
    >>18004658
    We JUST had a rape thread, and the consensus was that lol swords shoot out or stds just don't cut it.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)20:18 No.18004762
    >>18004658
    >Player now fucks his way around the world spreading syphilis like... well.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)20:22 No.18004807
    Space opera you say? IT IS OBVIOUS! You must play a steampunk version of Oscar. Alternatively, cyberpunk version of Oscar... or... Crazy Hassan. I'm sure spaceship captains need a used camel too. (used camel simulator salesmen if you need to pass. Just play it up as a guy stuck with a really shitty job if called on it)
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)20:23 No.18004819
    >>18004807
    too awesome to be TG
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)20:24 No.18004839
    >>18004807
    I know carzy hassan, but who's Oscar?
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)20:31 No.18004927
    >>18004839
    A char who derailed several freeformish RPs that were full of Mary Sues with a stoner. Said stoner just did the following: Be high, get more weed, go on snack runs, take a hit from bong so not sober. No other interaction. This drove the other players crazy trying to get Oscar to acknowledge their Sues with something more than "Sup, wanna toke?" Basically in this case frustration be be from character ignoring ALL plot hooks in favor of weed.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)20:39 No.18005062
    "My character is from a free love nudist colony that assumes refusal to have sex on first meeting is a grave insult."

    There you go.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)21:04 No.18005395
    bumping for amusement.
    >> OP 02/18/12(Sat)23:04 No.18007170
    Yo listen up here's the story about a little guy who usually GMs.
    That would be me. I usually run the games for my group and have been since we were all in highschool. So now two of my players are not available for a little while and the other one has found another group. The GM insists that the party have no less than 4 players since anything less is beneath him. I happen to owe this player honor money since he treat me to food and practically pays for every pizza and these kinds of favors are to be returned. When he wanted me to join I told him to go fuck himself and pass the cheetos. He insisted and he's more than a little persuasive. So I join the game. As I understood when I was being filled in and welcomed is that it's a mass effect inspired universe with all the best parts of starwars using a system I've never touched before that might just be homebrew since I've yet to see a rulebook.
    >> Typing things up beforehand? For this storytime? OP 02/18/12(Sat)23:13 No.18007268
    >>18007170
    So my friend takes me over to the gamestore where they occasionally play and fish for players. One of the group's players who helps with character creation meets me, all smiles and excitement like a salesman (later turned out that he is one). So he gives me some handouts. Neat little booklets with setting info, basic rules and character guidelines including a bio of ll the playable races. He goes on to talk about their escapades and the party. I am replacing a face-type character who had connections and diplomacy who seemed like he'd be in for the long haul but left after their second session and heavily recommends that I should take up the same role.
    >> OP 02/18/12(Sat)23:21 No.18007388
    >>18007268
    It sounds like there's potential. So, I get a blank character sheet and begin creation. I skim through the races despite already resolving to be a human and read about their rather interesting cultures, physiology, psychology, fertility rate, gestation length and maternity quirks. Every single race has attractive humanoid females that have a higher conception chance, longer gestation periods and higher birth rate than regular humans. Naturally every species crossbreeds effectively with each other. I took a few moments to re-read this then moved on. Creepy but I gave it the mistake of a doubt. In the general rules and guidelines section I found that female PCs get rather hefty experience point bonuses for pregnancy and childbirth. The mystery was unraveling and I hated being right. I've heard ominous stories about this GM but now had a solid picture coming into clarity.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)23:26 No.18007443
    >>18007388
    I think I hear a trainwreck coming. My interest is piqued.
    >> OP 02/18/12(Sat)23:29 No.18007491
    >>18007388
    So I ditch my sheet, get up, find Friend and tell him that I'm not doing this shit. He asks why. I tell him. He tells me that I've got it all wrong. This is not a /d/M, it's a fun game moderator that makes them fight alien bug infestations with lightsabres and solve dark mysteries. I ask him whether any of his major female NPCs are pregnant. He says one or two. I ask how many they've met. He says one or two. I give him a hard look over the top of my glasses and he returns it with a shit-eating grin but breaks first. He tells me that it's just a coincidence and that it doesn't mean anything. I don't budge from my expression then ask him if we have any female characters. He tells me that a girl had just joined at the end of the last session. Not a very experienced player but very eager to play some such games as opposed to her usual freeform.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)23:35 No.18007588
    >>18007491
    Oh boy, here we go.... Continue.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/12(Sat)23:41 No.18007674
    >>18007491
    Go on...
    >> OP 02/18/12(Sat)23:44 No.18007730
    So my friend who is a very convincing fucker gets me back to the table just as the GM arrives. A mockery of the human form carved from greasy jelly, blob-like if not especially girthy. He oozes into his seat at the head of the table and greets me. He tells me about his game and the current situation, and informs me that now they are just waiting for our fifth player to arrive so we can start. He then asks me about my character concept. I tell him that he used to be a hardcore enforcer officer before he was polliticked into a dead end for his career by corrupt higher up and quit to later join the current group after a several year spiritual journey across the stars, nothing special. I told him that I usually play rogues or private investigators so a more combat oriented character was new for me. He told me that he is all for male players playing female PCs. I nodded and quietly increased my toxin and disease resistances.
    >> OP 02/18/12(Sat)23:53 No.18007843
    >>18007730
    I casually ask him what kinds of threats the party generally faces. He informs me that that shouldn't color my character creation process and I tell him that I'm pretty much already done. He reads over my sheet and wonders why the hell I bought so much wrestling in a setting with guns and power blades. I tell him that it was my duty to take criminals alive when I could so as a peacekeeper I should have plenty of non-lethal options. He tells me that in most of the major cities male criminals are killed frequently because females, especially murderers are tasked with replacing those they have killed. I inquire no further on account of a very graphic imagination and too much time on 4chan.
    >> OP 02/18/12(Sat)23:57 No.18007926
    I only have a handful of points left when out little circle is complete by the fabled female player. I say hi. She might not be anything like a traditional beauty of the modern age, but this girl is hitting most of my sweet spots. Just a tad chubby for my tastes, but otherwise almost perfect. I introduce myself a little lamely, the vicious scourge that is my tongue bashful in the presence of a cute female. GM declares rather imperiously that his titan flub is not yet sated and requires the most succulent of game shop concessions while the only experienced player of this party is off in the washroom. I ask the girl about her adventures in the last session and Friend warns me not to sink the ship before it sails.
    >> OP 02/19/12(Sun)00:03 No.18008010
    Time passes and the game begins. We are given no recap. The rest of the party begins on their ship, landing in a hanger on the planet. The moment they land an individual described as "An incredibly tall and beautiful man wearing exquisite robes" leads me and another person on board. He introduces me by my character's name and tells me that I am joining the team. The other stranger is apparently the last of an incredibly rare and extinct race, a princess in fact. She has access to all of her race's remaining treasures but knows of no other survivors of a genocide virus that wiped out the remainder.
    >> OP 02/19/12(Sun)00:08 No.18008048
    >>18008010
    I ask what she looks like. He describes her as young, scared but still regal looking. She stares at us with large dark eyes on a cute, pale face and and pale hair, mostly human except for some features that are a little off, often in attractive ways. The most experienced player (from now on known as Snively) grinned like the most jovial of retards and asked what she needed help with, unbuckling himself from the pilot's seat. He was a male Vivar. My handout confirmed that the males of their species traveled the world to spread their wild oats by coupling with females of other races since their seed was incredibly dominant and potent.
    >> Dorfboots !!6qujI7jhvLR 02/19/12(Sun)00:14 No.18008126
    Go on. I'm listening.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)00:16 No.18008150
    op is playing space FATAL.

    where do i find this
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)00:17 No.18008163
    >>18008048
    please continue we are all waitiing for the earth shattering Kaboom
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)00:17 No.18008165
         File: 1329628659.jpg-(23 KB, 340x321, 1300998928319.jpg)
    23 KB
    >>18008048

    F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)00:18 No.18008182
    >>18008165
    GET4CHANXGET4CHANXGET4CHANXGET4CHANXGET4CHANXGET4CHANXGET4CHANXGET4CHANXGET4CHANXGET4CHANXGET4CHANXG
    ET4CHANX
    >> OP 02/19/12(Sun)00:22 No.18008226
    >>18008048
    I ask how old the girl looks. GM, after just a tiny hesitation tells me that I am not familiar with how their species mature. I ask him how old she looks on the human scale. He replies with an "eleven or twelve." I put on my pokerface but give Friend a lingering stare right in those honest and forgiving brown eyes of his. The girl asks what she needs our help with. The loli responds with "My race is all but extinct and the Intergalactic Peace Council has volunteered to help me repopulate with the help of the best their ranks have to offer, which is you. However our DNA is not entirely compatible. My civilization has biotechnology that may compensate, but our world is overrun with enemy living terror weapons. I need brave heroes to fight for my survival, infiltrate a research nexus on my homeworld and bring back data what will allow your council to recreate our bioegineering techniques."
    GM switches to a nasally faux-highbrow voice and chimes in with "It will put us leagues ahead of our enemies and we get to retain this technology as the end of our bargain."
    Snively asks "Isn't my species compatible with everyone?"
    GM answers "Yes but you just create a member of your species after mating."
    "She doesn't need to know that."
    At this point the female player states "It would be an honor to help you, your highness." It didn't seem like she had been preparing that line and had not heard the discussion a moment ago. GM turns to her and snaps his fingers, grinning. "Oh, by the way, give me a Health roll."
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)00:24 No.18008261
    >>18008226
    Ohhhhh boy, here we go.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)00:25 No.18008282
         File: 1329629158.jpg-(90 KB, 490x769, 0029-1285378766896.jpg)
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    >>18008226
    >"Oh, by the way, give me a Health roll."
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)00:26 No.18008288
    >>18008226
    Wreckage detected ahead! Choo choo motherfuckers!
    >> Dorfboots !!6qujI7jhvLR 02/19/12(Sun)00:28 No.18008313
         File: 1329629337.jpg-(33 KB, 646x501, 1294466310840.jpg)
    33 KB
    >>18008226
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)00:29 No.18008320
         File: 1329629360.gif-(167 KB, 320x166, 1291872427838.gif)
    167 KB
    WRITE FASTER
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)00:37 No.18008420
    where is the rest?
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)00:39 No.18008444
    >>18008420
    calm down there tokemaster, it's not copy pasta.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)00:40 No.18008458
    >>18007730
    >He told me that he is all for male players playing female PCs. I nodded and quietly increased my toxin and disease resistances.
    Classy gent.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)00:42 No.18008481
         File: 1329630130.jpg-(68 KB, 700x473, classy bird.jpg)
    68 KB
    OP, I am reading your story with rapt attention. Pray continue.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)00:43 No.18008491
         File: 1329630231.jpg-(195 KB, 586x446, surelydeliver.jpg)
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    Waiting anxiously
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)00:45 No.18008507
    inb4 dinosaur
    >> OP 02/19/12(Sun)00:47 No.18008543
    >>18008226
    By the way, I am transcribing as I listen to the 6 hour audio file I recorded on my phone. Some parts are inaudible, most are boring.

    She rolls rather poorly and the GM looks unhappy and actually mildly broody for a while before stating "You feel fine." I felt worried. She looked mildly confused but unabashed. So we took to the stars with barely a break to restock from the last mission. My character got to shop. The GM gave me an equipment list, lovingly detailed with paragraph descriptions for most items. Something caught my eye. "Unitox. A poison purging agent that instantly cleans the user's system. Blah blah, has a terrible side effect of rendering the user completely sterile and terminating all pregnancies for 1d6 days." I bought a dozen.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)00:49 No.18008570
    >>18008543
    I have a baaaad feeling about this.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)00:49 No.18008573
    >>18008543
    I like where this is going.
    >> Dorfboots !!6qujI7jhvLR 02/19/12(Sun)00:49 No.18008585
    >>18008543
    You beautiful bastard.
    >> theshadowduke !!17lgBbpKusF 02/19/12(Sun)00:50 No.18008594
         File: 1329630623.jpg-(54 KB, 500x362, win.jpg)
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    I sense awesomeness inbound... link perhaps related?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2XGp5ix8HE
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)00:50 No.18008598
    >I bought a dozen.
    Smart man.

    MOAR.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)00:51 No.18008602
    >>18008543
    shit yes.
    TYPE FASTER
    and I thought I was going to have a glance at tg before i slept
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)00:51 No.18008614
    >>18008602
    Funny how that goes, innit?
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)00:55 No.18008671
    >>18008614
    yeah....oh well, tomorrows Victoriana game will be even MORE in character. Energy drinks to keep me awake through it will totally mimic cocaine
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)00:59 No.18008744
    Make references that no one will get, especially if it's been established no one is familiar with what you're referencing. Continue making said references.

    Jump from one topic to the next without segues.

    (I met a That Guy tonight).
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:09 No.18008909
    >>18008671
    No... No it will not. That's like saying masturbation will mimic sexual intercourse.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:10 No.18008916
    >you want to be patient but this is getting kinda boring

    Come on OP, I dont want to miss this but I'm getting tired its like 2 AM here.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:10 No.18008932
         File: 1329631852.jpg-(47 KB, 576x324, diego1.jpg)
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    MOAR
    >> OP 02/19/12(Sun)01:10 No.18008933
    The loli and tallfuck leave. After a surprisingly tense but utterly uneventful starship commute that required many a roll and some roleplaying (the girl and I established some backstory between our characters and she complimented me on my roleplaying, apologizing that she was not as experienced as me. I told her it was no problem and that she was simply not experienced enough to tell how much I sucked and that any roleplaying at all was usually exactly enough.)
    We arrive. The planet is green and silver-white in color from the atmosphere and orbital photographs reveal a green mist or growth of somekind covering most of the pure architecture. We locate our target and land near it, avoiding the green patches. I decided to do an atmospheric scan or test or whatever to see if the air was breathable. GM gave me a blank look and had me roll, then told me it was alright save for a tiny content of some chemical that might have mood altering effects on us. I made sure everyone was equipped with rebreathers and more regular detox chems, claiming my character was used to poisonous atmospheres. Girl prepares her equipment and walks out first saying that she will scout ahead. GM describes the scenery and the building where we are to find our treasure. He says a door is open, cutting off an in-character statement from me. She turns on a flashlight and makes a stealth roll to enter. From here on she will be referred to as Victim.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:12 No.18008950
    >>18008916
    >that feel when you are cheating yourself out of sleep for what you know is going to end in dinosaurs/Bel Air
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:13 No.18008955
         File: 1329631983.jpg-(11 KB, 178x213, ohgodpleasenorape.jpg)
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    >>18008933
    >Victim
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:13 No.18008957
    >>18008933
    >From here on she will be referred to as Victim.

    IT BEGINS
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:13 No.18008961
    >>18007730
    > I nodded and quietly increased my toxin and disease resistances
    Doing it right.
    > "Unitox. A poison purging agent that instantly cleans the user's system. Blah blah, has a terrible side effect of rendering the user completely sterile and terminating all pregnancies for 1d6 days." I bought a dozen.
    Doing it so right.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:13 No.18008964
    >>18008909
    I dunno, I've never actually taken cocaine
    >>18008950
    its ten past six in the morning here. OP had BETTER deliver
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:14 No.18008968
    >From here on she will be referred to as Victim.

    And so it begins...
    >> Archivist !!fOmAgeJQ8u9 02/19/12(Sun)01:14 No.18008971
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    >>18008933
    >From here on she will be referred to as Victim.
    This is getting good
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:15 No.18008988
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    >>18008933
    >From here on she will be referred to as Victim.

    Oh god this is going to be bad...
    >> ʘ 02/19/12(Sun)01:17 No.18009016
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    224 KB
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:17 No.18009024
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    >>18008933

    >From here on she will be referred to as Victim.
    >Mfw
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:19 No.18009050
         File: 1329632370.png-(36 KB, 487x404, sad romance.png)
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    >>18008933
    >From here on she will be referred to as Victim.
    Oh noes.
    >> Fireman Prime 02/19/12(Sun)01:20 No.18009058
         File: 1329632418.jpg-(12 KB, 355x355, you_gonna_get_your_jimmies_rus(...).jpg)
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    >>18008933
    >From here on out she will be referred to as Victim

    >irealts unright
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:20 No.18009059
         File: 1329632421.jpg-(10 KB, 227x222, nooo.jpg)
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    >Victim
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:20 No.18009065
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    >POST FASTER, DAMMIT
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:20 No.18009067
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    >>18008933

    >From here on she will be referred to as Victim.

    Oh no, I can't take this... she's... she's only starting playing....
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:21 No.18009071
    >>18008933
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:22 No.18009088
         File: 1329632552.jpg-(19 KB, 267x274, It begins.jpg)
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    >>18008933
    >From here on she will be referred to as Victim
    >mfw
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:22 No.18009093
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    >>18008933
    rage building
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:23 No.18009099
         File: 1329632585.jpg-(56 KB, 323x332, train wreck.jpg)
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    >Victim
    Here comes our wreck, people!
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:23 No.18009103
    Tell me you saved her and you both left the group forever and now are a gaming couple that make characters that complement each other in back story and role playing.

    Please tell me this ;-;
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:23 No.18009105
         File: 1329632603.png-(268 KB, 314x371, achillesnonono.png)
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    >From here on she will be referred to as Victim.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:26 No.18009141
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    >>18008933
    >From here on she will be referred to as Victim.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:26 No.18009142
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    any second..
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:27 No.18009160
    >>18009105
    >>18009099
    >>18009088
    >>18009067
    >>18009059
    >>18009058
    >>18009050
    >>18009024
    >>18008988
    >>18008971
    >>18008968
    >>18008957
    >>18008955
    For fucks sake, enough already
    >> OP 02/19/12(Sun)01:27 No.18009181
    >>18008933
    I'm sorry everyone. I am known for the opposite of expediency with my storytimes. I could link to one in particular but I can't find Part 1.

    So I state that my character is catching up, as does Snively and Friend. We enter the building just behind Victim, just before he has her roll Perception. She succeeds and notices movement in the darkness far ahead. The building was very futuristic, though overgrown with plantlife and vines. All of the automatic doors were open and jammed that way, there being no power. We proceed carefully though the girl was determined to stay ahead so I watched her back. Soon we enter a massive chamber going up and down multiple stories, at least 200 feet in diameter, us being on a platform or catwalk of sorts. We see a single computer interface on the platform, still online and shimmering. In character I state that I have no experience with computers and ask who does. Victim does. She moves ahead and starts up the system. GM has her roll computer skills and language to see if she can decipher their alphabet and she gets two critical successes in a row, downloads the data we need. Everyone except Snively are suitably impressed and she seems happy with herself. With a grin, GM describes that the action activates something, a computerized voice states something important in a language we don't understand. There is an explosion, and the whole platform that was suspended over the bottomless pit in this tubular tunnel collapses with her on it. My character being a fast thinker and a rather resourceful man with balls of carbon nanotube reinforced titanium dives right after her.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:28 No.18009188
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    >From here on out she will be referred to as Victim
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:28 No.18009192
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    I friggin' love /tg/'s storytimes.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:29 No.18009206
    >>18009181
    Bracing for horror...
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:30 No.18009224
    >has a terrible side effect of rendering the user completely sterile and terminating all pregnancies for 1d6 days." I bought a dozen.

    bracing for this to become important.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:31 No.18009239
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    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:32 No.18009244
    >>18009181
    preparing for tentacles
    >> ʘ 02/19/12(Sun)01:32 No.18009251
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    >>18009181
    >Railroaded explosions
    >ON A FUCKING DATA TERMINAL
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:33 No.18009259
    >>18009181
    > downloads the data we need
    > the action activates something
    > There is an explosion, and the whole platform that was suspended over the bottomless pit in this tubular tunnel collapses with her on it
    Stuff like this makes me wonder
    a) how villains ever manage to access their data/altars/treasure rooms without killing themselves
    b) why anyone would ever rig with explosives a place where he expected to do a lot of work on the off chance that someone might break in
    c) why this traps idea is as pervasive as it is
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:37 No.18009332
    > Rolls well
    > Gets data they can read in a language they know
    > Suddenly unknown language before explosion

    Was the DM you had retarded because that's fucking stupid
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:37 No.18009333
    >>18009259
    >a) how villains ever manage to access their data/altars/treasure rooms without killing themselves

    - Log into computer, deactivate self destruct security meassurements hidden in the fap folder-

    >b) why anyone would ever rig with explosives a place where he expected to do a lot of work on the off chance that someone might break in
    >on the off chance that someone might break in

    you pretty much answered that one yourself... offchance and all someone did break in and activated the trap...
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:40 No.18009366
    >>18009259
    >a) how villains ever manage to access their data/altars/treasure rooms without killing themselves
    Very carefully, or with a simple yet obscure command word/password to disable the trap.

    >b) why anyone would ever rig with explosives a place where he expected to do a lot of work on the off chance that someone might break in
    If it was wartime or the person was paranoid it makes sense to protect your work from enemies.

    >c) why this traps idea is as pervasive as it is
    Because the rape train has no breaks.

    Of course the entire thing is obviously part of Jabba's fetish plot, so these don't really matter. GM wants belly bulge, so he sets up a situation that makes it happen, consistency and logic be damned!
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:41 No.18009373
    >2 critical successes
    >not deactivating traps.

    I have no reaction image for this.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:41 No.18009375
         File: 1329633677.png-(140 KB, 345x455, 1326408514969.png)
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    >>18009181
    >two critical successes
    >triggers an explosion
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:41 No.18009378
    >>18009333
    Sup DM
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:43 No.18009396
    >>18009373
    >>18009375
    Imagine if she'd rolled a critical fail....

    On second thought, it's probably better if you don't.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:44 No.18009412
    >>18009333
    Counting the number of times I've accidentally set off my own home burglar alarm (4), versus the number of times someone has actually broken in (0)....
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:44 No.18009414
    >>18009378
    Sup puny human? enjoying my perfectly logical trap bombs much?
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:44 No.18009419
    Y'know guys, it might not have been a trap. For all we know, the alien announcer might have said "Warning! Main brake failure! Powerlift collapse immenent!" Then the overheated braking cylinder ruptures and the whole thing goes into the drink.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:47 No.18009449
    >>18009419
    That's surprisingly logical. I take back my earlier complaints.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:48 No.18009462
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    >>18009412

    sorry if you are a little on the dumb side, but hey, at least no one broke into your place and raped your face with a knifegun eh?
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:48 No.18009463
    >>18009396
    >You hear a snapping sound as the computer terminal begins to shift. Suddenly, the casing explodes, leaving the wiring behind, which begins to coil itself into a thick, thrashing rope. It lunges at your waist at a lightning-quick speed. Roll for grapple check.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:48 No.18009466
    >>18009419
    It's possible. But the GM described the explosion and the hacking as linked, which shouldn't be happening under normal circumstances and definitely shouldn't be happening after two critical successes.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:50 No.18009486
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    >>18009414
    >Crit success
    >twice
    >CATSTROPHIC FAILURE

    Thats like logging into a computer and it freaking exploding because your keystroke skillz are so awesome.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:50 No.18009490
    >>18009466
    it could have been in the middle of a self-destruct when the system came down, and resumed when it came back up.

    it could have decided to auto-self destruct after it detected it was covered in xenos life.
    >> OP 02/19/12(Sun)01:50 No.18009495
    Plummeting into an unknown abyss is daily fare for Dirk Falcon, former Space SWAT elite made adventurer extraordinaire. I catch the girl mid-plummet and swing us to safety via grappling hook gun, excellent rolls all around. Safety turns out to be a similar platform with a dead data terminal a few dozen floors below. I ask if she's hurt, and after asking the GM she replies with a "Just startled. Thank you." I begin to ask questions to form my escape plan as the GM rolls some dice and tells us we hears something from the door beyond the walkway that leads to this shitty unstable platform. It seems to be a buzzing. We see a winged insect the size of a pony It promptly rushes us. Victim spends her turn lighting up her power sword, while I can only let go of the grappling gun and let it swing beside my head. The insect promptly tackles my character but a decent Wrestling roll lets me flit it over the edge but not before another roll and the result of its hitherto unmentioned stinger tail burying itself into my shoe between my big toe and the others, presumably through the armored plating on my boots. It get dragged off the edge, roll to hold on. The girl grabs my grappling gun and retracts it. I try to kick the creature off. It starts to fly, lifting me up as it goes. I grab its head and begin to wring its neck and succeed, instantly killing it. No spacebug is a match for Dirk Falcon, but now I am falling. The girl rolls to catch onto me with the grappling gun and succeeds, my armor being the only thing that stopped it from crushing my ribcage, but a fumble on the follow-up strength check to hold on to the gun pulls her off and soon we plunge into what is described as a "Horrifically foul-smelling yet strangely alluring" shoulder-deep slime.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:53 No.18009517
    >>18009495
    >"Horrifically foul-smelling yet strangely alluring" shoulder-deep slime.

    Oh god damn it.
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)01:53 No.18009523
    >>18009495

    >"Horrifically foul-smelling yet strangely alluring" shoulder-deep slime.

    ohgodwhy.jpg
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:53 No.18009524
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    >>18009495
    >"Horrifically foul-smelling yet strangely alluring" shoulder-deep slime.
    >i'veseenenoughhentaitoknoweherethisisgoing.jpg
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:53 No.18009526
    >>18009495
    This would be an awesome and enviable action scenario if I didn't know off the bat it would end in horror.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:54 No.18009530
    >>18009495
    Okay. Fess up. Anyone else thinking about Corruption of Champions after reading this?
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:54 No.18009531
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    >>18009495
    pool of bug semen?
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:55 No.18009541
         File: 1329634500.jpg-(28 KB, 500x375, tumblr_lh3x6mb2FQ1qh3fbdo1_500.jpg)
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    >"Horrifically foul-smelling yet strangely alluring" shoulder-deep slime.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:55 No.18009546
    >>18009530
    Mah nigga!
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)01:55 No.18009554
         File: 1329634545.png-(584 KB, 960x720, spiderman-where-this-is-going.png)
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    >>18009524

    As little as I want to post this picture...
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:55 No.18009558
    >>18009495

    >"Horrifically foul-smelling yet strangely alluring" shoulder-deep slime.

    good thing you bought a dozen unitoxes
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:56 No.18009562
    >>18009531

    try sentient blob that seeks to rape and devour everything it is within its grasp
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:56 No.18009563
         File: 1329634571.jpg-(9 KB, 254x198, manly tears..jpg)
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    OP YOUR CHARACTER IS SUCH A BADASS.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:56 No.18009568
         File: 1329634577.gif-(1.6 MB, 350x197, Uh.gif)
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    >>18009530
    ... Yes.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)01:57 No.18009583
    >>18009531
    There was something on the planet that had mental effects, so I'm guessing aphrodisiac.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:01 No.18009619
    Like we don't all already know this is somehow ending in alien space-rape with forced pregnancy.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:01 No.18009620
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    >Plummeting into an unknown abyss is daily fare for Dirk Falcon, former Space SWAT elite made adventurer extraordinaire.

    Dirk Falcon, Adventurer Extraordinaire! (Shit this would be a fun character to play)
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:01 No.18009622
    >>18009583
    That was the air itself, GM intended them to be horny and screwing around by now. Save for OP being smart and grabbing masks.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:02 No.18009626
    >>18009583
    Calling it now: his character rapes hers.
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)02:02 No.18009628
    >>18009619

    Well, we know it will end with said pregnancy getting terminated, so let's just hear the story.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:02 No.18009633
    F5an so hard I think I broke my keyboard.

    Critical success = near death? Can anyone else hear that choo-choo sound...
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:03 No.18009647
         File: 1329635033.jpg-(10 KB, 244x252, 1265512392258.jpg)
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    OP OP OP OP OP OP OP

    WHY DONT YOU SLICE AND DICE THAT AUDIO FILE AND UPLOAD IT SOMEWHERE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

    WE HAVE THIS WHOLE STORY RECORDED FROM THE VERY GAMEPLAY AND WHY IS IT NOT ENTERING MY EARS THIS VERY MOMENT?!?!?!?

    shit nigga you dumb.

    >>18008543
    >>18008543
    >By the way, I am transcribing as I listen to the 6 hour audio file I recorded on my phone.

    duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude wat the shit.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:04 No.18009648
    >>18009619
    Storytime is as much about the journey as the destination.
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)02:04 No.18009653
         File: 1329635067.jpg-(7 KB, 196x213, cole train.jpg)
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    >>18009633

    That's just the Cole Train, baby! WHOOO!

    ...but seriously, it's the rape train.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:05 No.18009664
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    >>18009628

    >Well, we know it will end with said pregnancy getting terminated

    When life gives you lemons, shove a weed-whacker up the DM's ass. Bring on the coat hangers.
    >> OP 02/19/12(Sun)02:06 No.18009671
    So we get up. I tell the GM that I have a full face mask rebreather so that I can look under the surface of the fluid with my mask-mounted lights. He says that it's incredibly murky but I can see wrist-thick vines composing the floor. He rolls and smirks at Victim, stating that she can feel something cold and moving rub up against her leg and over her thigh.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:06 No.18009672
    >>18009653
    Tonight, on When GMs are Fucktards: Players being railroaded - straight into the path of the rape train. More at 12:15 (hopefully)
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:07 No.18009678
    >>18009671
    DO NOT WANNNNTTT

    Captcha: asspeep callings - really, captcha? Really? At a time like this?
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)02:08 No.18009685
    >>18009671

    However convincing this is, why do I think this isn't OP?
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:08 No.18009688
         File: 1329635309.png-(340 KB, 431x431, cooksteak.png)
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    >>18009671
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:09 No.18009694
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xW2VfMghh3A

    seems appropriate
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:09 No.18009701
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    >wrist-thick vines composing the floor. He rolls and smirks at Victim, stating that she can feel something cold and moving rub up against her leg and over her thigh.

    awwww shit, I can hear the whistle. the only train that's always on time is the rape train.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:10 No.18009710
    >>18009671
    >I can see wrist-thick vines composing the floor.
    >He rolls and smirks at Victim,

    KILL MAIM BURN KILL MAIM BURN KILL MAIM BURN
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:11 No.18009716
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    >>18009647
    >>18009647
    >>18009647
    >>18009647

    why is this not happenning??
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:12 No.18009723
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    in b4 it turns out the DM is Plouton and OP is [nospoilerson/tg/]John Ravencloud[/nospoilerson/tg/]
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:12 No.18009732
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    >>18009671
    >He rolls and smirks at Victim, stating that she can feel something cold and moving rub up against her leg and over her thigh.
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)02:15 No.18009755
    >>18009694

    >Started watching video.
    >Eating chips.
    >BOOM SHAKA-LAKA!
    >Trying not to choke on chips from laughing.

    OH GOD! OH DEAR GOD!
    >> OP 02/19/12(Sun)02:16 No.18009757
    Sorry, accidentally hit Submit early. Okay, it was less an accident and more of a bizarre reflex in my sleepy state.

    He say that she had just a basic face mask stapped over her nose and mouth and it had been knocked off during her plunge, so she swallowed a few mouthfulls of the fluid and now needs to make a few rolls. She makes her first one. GM says she is free to act for now.
    So Victim plunges her powersword into the liquid and that generally gets the job done. Whatever was in the water is no longer groping her. The sword however boils the fluid around it and soon it's too hot to stand, so she keeps it above her head for light. That seems to have gotten the attention of some things, as the water around us begins to move unnaturally, there are ripples and trails appearing all over the place, all around us. We keep close, and I produce my blaster. Moments before we are about to engage in my master plan of "I have 10 plasma grenades in my inventory" GM rolls and states that Victim is suddenly and violently pulled under.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:17 No.18009760
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    >>18009671
    Druids right?
    vines, overgrowth, it's gotta be rape druids
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)02:17 No.18009767
    >>18009760

    What the fuck is that face from?
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:18 No.18009777
    >>18009755
    >Why hello there Mary Jane, it's your friendly neighborhood Rapeman
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)02:18 No.18009778
    >>18009757

    >Violently pulled under.

    No grapple rolls or anything? Fucking fetish-fueling asshat of a DM.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:18 No.18009781
    >>18009767

    Mystery of the Druids
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:19 No.18009783
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    >>18009757
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:19 No.18009787
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    10 KB
    >>18009767
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:20 No.18009793
         File: 1329636012.jpg-(10 KB, 341x299, HOLY FUCK.jpg)
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    >>18009757

    AWWWW SHIT! AWWWW SHIT!

    It's dangalang time.
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)02:20 No.18009794
    >>18009777

    >Credits.
    >And IIIIIIIIIII-ee-IIIIIII will always love yooooooou!

    Thank you, anon. Thank you so much.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:20 No.18009797
    >>18009778
    Mad because he must use grapple checks to get off on his vine rape fetish
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)02:20 No.18009800
    >>18009787

    I fucking KNEW it was familiar...muthafucking Druids.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:21 No.18009806
    >>18009800
    they are mysterious
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:22 No.18009810
    And you gonna smell these balls.
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)02:22 No.18009812
    >>18009806

    I also hear that the myseterious druids have...a mystery.

    OOOoooOOOooo!

    >skeletonpopsout.jpg
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:23 No.18009816
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    >>18009694
    Oh fuck that's the funniest thing I've seen all month.
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)02:25 No.18009832
    >>18009816

    Dem babby faces.
    >> MY SIDES Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:26 No.18009835
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    >>18009694
    also Rape Druids of Gor. sheeeeeit.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:26 No.18009838
    >>18009816That guy generally does good dubs, but his early work is kinda choppy.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:31 No.18009865
    >>18009757
    is it over?
    >> Dorfboots !!6qujI7jhvLR 02/19/12(Sun)02:31 No.18009867
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    >>18009757
    >mfw
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:32 No.18009874
    What happened next, OP?
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:32 No.18009877
    >>18009867
    one does not simply commodore guff.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:32 No.18009878
    >>18009865

    Don't think so. Guy's just taking a while.
    >> OP 02/19/12(Sun)02:37 No.18009908
    Oh Rapeman. My old DM would show us his escapades all the time.

    So he informs the girl that she feels herself being pulled fast and hard under the water, something having tied her ankles together. I see the glow of her powersword move toward one direction then stop, Victim having dropped it. I follow quickly toward it, but am attacked by more vines which tie me in place thanks to a fumbled Wrestling roll. In the meanwhile, Victim fumbles a resistance roll and feels herself getting drowsy and mildly sick very rapidly. I have to commend this girl, she was roleplaying everything to the hilt with much gusto.Even as GM described her armor and suit torn off. Even as he described her suspended from the ceiling by a tendril that then buried her wrists in goo. The first time she hesitated was when her legs were forced open. When the words "It approaches with the intent of violation" she looked more uncertain but decided to pin it together with her legs with a wonderful roll. I think the dice gods were objecting to what was happening here.
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)02:40 No.18009922
    >>18009908

    >When the words "It approaches with the intent of violation" she looked more uncertain but decided to pin it together with her legs with a wonderful roll. I think the dice gods were objecting to what was happening here.

    I think ALL THE GODS were objecting to what was happening there. Even C'thulu doesn't support fetish-material campaigns.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:40 No.18009926
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    >>18009908

    >To the hilt
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:40 No.18009927
    >>18009908
    > I think the dice gods were objecting to what was happening here.
    I suspect it was not just the dice gods.
    What was everyone else at the table doing at this time?
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:41 No.18009930
    >>18009908
    I really want to see how this end.

    I would also like to hear the audio file.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:41 No.18009936
    shiet op you are taking waaaayy too long... im gonna bail out on this one... and see if i cant catch up tomorrow... please please please pl0x upload the audio... do eet for teh lulzl
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:41 No.18009938
    >>18009908
    >pin it together with her legs
    Shit man, Victim's going down fighting.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:41 No.18009941
         File: 1329637314.gif-(1.07 MB, 250x187, 1320306966312.gif)
    1.07 MB
    >>18009908
    >"It approaches with the intent of violation"
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:41 No.18009942
    >>18009927

    10 bucks says Snively was jerking it.
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)02:43 No.18009953
    >>18009941

    This gif, with all of my OHGODWHY.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:43 No.18009955
    >>18009757
    >master plan of "I have 10 plasma grenades in my inventory"
    I like the way you think OP
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:43 No.18009958
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    >>18009908

    FASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
    TERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)02:44 No.18009961
    >>18009787

    Actually, now that I think about it, this isn't the druid's doing. This is one of the druid's faces when he saw this.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:45 No.18009977
    >>18009961
    >That feel when that was the mystery all along
    THEY TRIED TO WARN US, /tg/, BUT WE DIDN'T LISTEN, GOD DAMNIT
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)02:46 No.18009986
    >>18009977

    OH GOD, I SOLVED IT!

    OH GOD WHY?

    >As in why can't I breath between laughs.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:48 No.18009994
         File: 1329637685.jpg-(21 KB, 160x115, WE DIDN'T LISTEN!!!.jpg)
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    >>18009977
    WE DIDN'T LISTEN!
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:49 No.18010009
    Those poor god damn druids, man.

    All they ever wanted... all they ever FUCKING wanted was to help us.

    And you know what we did? We raided their wikipedia page and made memes out of them.

    I don't think I can ever play a Paladin again knowing what I've done.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:50 No.18010015
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    >>18009977
    >>18009986
    >>18009994

    that's why you need to BE, AGRESSIVE. BE, BE, AGGRESSIVE.
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)02:51 No.18010021
    >>18010009

    Those poor, poor fucking druids.

    JUST LOOK AT THEIR FACES!

    LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT IT!
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:52 No.18010029
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    Good lord OP!
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)02:52 No.18010031
    On a side note, I love you all. Elegan/tg/entlemen are BES/Tg/entlemen.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:52 No.18010032
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    >>18010009
    oh dear god, all these years i've wasted wizarding when i could have been helping people
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)02:53 No.18010041
    >>18010032

    My years as a rogue, travelling with a man who juggle bears for sport...

    WHAT IF ONE OF THEM WAS A DRUID??

    My life has no purpose now....
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:54 No.18010047
    >>18010032
    I think we all know what we have to do now, gentlemen.

    We all need to play Druids, at least for the next 500 years, to make up for the atrocities we've committed against them.

    >I have a dream that little adventurer boys and little druids boys...
    >> OP 02/19/12(Sun)02:54 No.18010053
    So I fart around with tentacles for about half a dozen rounds before I finally roll well enough to access my wrist computer which holds a remote retraction command for my grappling gun. Girl had clipped it to her belt earlier so there's no way it was dropped and the grappling gun can lift upwards of 250lbs (I had payed for an extra-strong space winch) So I am pulled directly to her. Hundreds of tentacles lash out to grab me, some succeeding but not before I dropped a plasma grenade, broiling the vast majority. Victim received a phonecall and told us she was being called away for about an hour. She seemed reluctant to leave. I take it the girl isn't aware of what tentacle rape is. The GM had her make one last roll and she passed out from the liquid in her system. She says her goodbyes and brbs and is off.
    In the meanwhile, Snively and Friend had managed to come across a room covered in what looks like humanoids plastered to the walls with strange flexible slippery gunk. They cut it open to reveal a woman, same race as the princess. Still loli-aged if just a bit older. Snively starts to get an awkward tone to his voice. I remember him grinning, fish lips agape.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:55 No.18010056
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    I have to know Victim's fate, OP.

    Just how bad is it?
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:55 No.18010064
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    >>18010041
    i am now vegetarian just so i wont accidentally eat a druid... we owe them that much after what we've done
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:56 No.18010070
    >>18010053
    I really hope you slaped in one OP.
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)02:56 No.18010071
    >>18010053

    I hope Snively dies by the end of this. I so hope he does.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:56 No.18010073
    >>18010053
    >That feel when you're playing Duke Nukem PNP
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:56 No.18010074
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    Love is over.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:56 No.18010076
    >>18010053
    WAIT A FUCKING SECOND.
    >GIRLS IN TUBES
    >BUGS IMPREGNATING GIRLS
    >TENTACLES
    >DASHING MANLY PROTAGONIST

    THIS IS DUKE NUKEM FOREVER
    GODFUCKINGSHITASS
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:57 No.18010084
    >>18010076

    At least DNF had the good sense not to make the rape factory a LOLI RAPE FACTORY
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:58 No.18010089
    >>18010073
    >>18010076
    WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)02:58 No.18010090
    >>18010076
    Except the main protag is female in game. So technically, it's Lady Nukem Eternal. There were other Duke Nukems, by the way.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:00 No.18010106
    >>18010071
    IRL, or his character?

    At this point, I might be fine with either.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:01 No.18010109
    >>18010090
    Speaking of Ladies, hell yeah motherfuckers.; FOUR HOURS of Downton Abbey tomorrow night.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:02 No.18010116
    >>18010053
    At this point as soon as the girl walks back in you grab her and get the fuck out. This is all bad
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:02 No.18010117
    Please tell me this ends in the GM's house being burned to the ground .
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)03:02 No.18010121
    >>18010106

    All both of them.

    Fish-faced fuck.
    >> Archivist !!fOmAgeJQ8u9 02/19/12(Sun)03:04 No.18010134
    >>18009908
    NONNONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:04 No.18010135
    >>18010117
    I'm hoping it ends in someone blowing it out their ass, though i would settle for OP ripping the DMs head off and shitting down his neck.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:04 No.18010136
    >>18010117
    >YFW they all get into it and have an orgy at the end
    >Well, except the fat tub o' lard of a GM, who sits and masturbates
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:05 No.18010147
    >>18010053
    Masturbating furiously as I wait for OP.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:07 No.18010150
    >>18010136
    just like every D&D session
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)03:07 No.18010156
    >>18010147

    You know, I was trained int he fine art of dick-ripping.

    If you want, I can demonstrate this with you.
    >> OP 02/19/12(Sun)03:11 No.18010200
    So the moment the girl leaves GM turns to me and describes how the tentacle plunges into her cunt and begins pumping fluids into it. He describes it in great detail. I could swear the fucker was drooling. He finishes it with "This is what they do." As if in response to my look of horror. "It's a genocide weapon you realize. It makes them unable to propagate their own species. Oh, and around this area?" He gestures to the doodled up map of the chamber. "The WHOLE FLOOR raises up and what looks like a fish head with more tendrils coming off it like hair comes up and opens a massive gaping jaw with a smaller mouth inside and it roars at you." I roll to toss one of my plasma grenades into its mouth and rush the bastard on the subsequent turn, ready to rape something while I think of how to gracefully fuck up this sleazy asshole's life.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:12 No.18010215
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    >>18010053
    she needs a hero
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:13 No.18010225
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    >>18010200
    I don't even...
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:13 No.18010226
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    >>18010200
    I'm not going to rush you, OP, I just want you to know...

    I am waiting and reading this. No matter how long you take, do not lose heart, finish this story, and we will read it.

    God speed.
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)03:14 No.18010237
    >>18010200
    >>18010200
    >>18010200
    >>18010200
    >>18010200

    I want to rip his balls off.

    Not metaphorically, no.

    I literally want to have him held down as I tear his balls from his sorry excuse of a body.

    I hope you make him pay dearly, OP, because if not, I hate you. Not as much as him, but hate all the same.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:15 No.18010241
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    >>18010200
    >> Archivist !!fOmAgeJQ8u9 02/19/12(Sun)03:15 No.18010244
    >>18010200
    Ok fuck this shit bag and please tell me you shot victim full of the drug you picked up...
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:15 No.18010252
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    >>18010200
    not cool

    but please continue
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:16 No.18010262
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    >>18010200
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:16 No.18010264
    >>18010053
    >>text message log
    >>omg you have to call me

    >>why girlfrayynd?

    >>i'm being tentacle raped in game by some greasy looser

    >>ring ring ring ring

    >>"oh gosh your dog got hit by a car? i have to go now guys."
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:16 No.18010265
    Op, I am so tired I am in agony but I can't stop reading this.
    >> Archivist !!fOmAgeJQ8u9 02/19/12(Sun)03:17 No.18010271
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    >>18010244
    Forgot my pic...
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:18 No.18010277
    This thread
    It's like a trainwreck of what the fuckery
    Also, I hope someone screencaps this shit.

    OP, you are a saint for not murdering that GM
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:19 No.18010281
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    >>18010200

    this is why the Deathwatch needs to exist. for a moral threat such as this DM.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:19 No.18010284
    >>18010277
    You know, there's an archive for /tg/ threads.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:19 No.18010285
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xApn6r6Olu8

    NEEDS A HERO
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)03:19 No.18010289
    >>18010277

    He might have. Or he might will.

    SOON...
    >> Archivist !!fOmAgeJQ8u9 02/19/12(Sun)03:19 No.18010291
    >>18010277
    I'll be archiving in a bit. After I finish helping a client with his pc specs.
    >> OP 02/19/12(Sun)03:20 No.18010303
    >>18010200
    Dirk Falcon climbed the horrible tentacle nucleus with his knife and hatred. Despite mediocre attack rolls, the damage was flowing just fine and soon I had burrowed a hole deep enough into its planty skull to insert a grenade directly. All the tentacles in the room went limp as the char-broiled carcass floated sizzling on the goop. I go to rescue the dame and the GM insists on describing how the tentacle had sealed off her vaginal entrance with a rubbery residue of some kind. I nod quickly and interrupt him telling him I just cut her down. He mentions something about a bloated stomach and a glazed-over expression and drool. I gave Friend another 20-second look.
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)03:21 No.18010307
    >>18010285

    You know, Shrek 2 was actually pretty good.

    Shrek 3 and on were shit-tier, though.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:22 No.18010314
    OP, if you have another story time (and if you're the same person I'm thinking of), please start writing out your story before you start. That way you can copy paste quickly and nobody has to wait actual days between the start of your tales and when they finish
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)03:22 No.18010316
    >>18010303

    ......Fucking. Fuck.

    It pains me to read this. But I must continue on.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:22 No.18010321
    It is 8:20. The sun has come up.

    But I will wait on OP for fucking ever. Becasue there's no way he came on here to post this story without *some* kind of payoff at the end. Without some peice of karmic retribution, some final act, some last word that seals the deal and turns all this...this shit...to fuckin' 18-carat gold.

    Take heart, boys. He'll see us home.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:23 No.18010325
    >>18010303
    USE ALL OF THE DRUGS. ALL OF THEM.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:23 No.18010327
    >>18010314
    hey, fuck you.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:23 No.18010330
    >>18010200
    I think people have forgotten the original question you asked, so I'll address it.

    You cannot "outdo" this by being That Guy. You cannot eclipse such a disgusting group, and even if you did they would RELISH it and consider you one of them.

    If you want revenge on these putrid assbags you will have to do it out of game. Whether it involves some kind of diplomatic humiliation or physical assault, nothing in game will do anything to them.

    Also slap your friend as hard as you can for dragging you into this.
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)03:24 No.18010333
    >>18010321

    That shit better be twenty four fucking carat.
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)03:25 No.18010340
    >>18010330

    Or he can make his characters specifically to fuck over the DM. A fourth-wall hero, of sorts.

    See >>18010285
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:25 No.18010343
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    Tell me the sick fuck gets put in his place, OP. Justice must be done.
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)03:25 No.18010349
    >>18010343

    For the druids!
    >> OP 02/19/12(Sun)03:26 No.18010350
    It's late here too. I gotta finish quickly. I had a similar storytime like two years ago across three days. I can't just type it all up ahead of time since I run on anon mystery I mean support.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:26 No.18010352
    >>18010325
    fucking this
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:26 No.18010353
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    >>18010303

    Lord on high you type slow, but... fucking fuck.

    You should've fled, and pulled Victim out of there.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:28 No.18010370
    >>18010330

    why not both physical and diplomatic retribution?
    hold the puss bag down and tattoo "I rape children in my imagination" on his forhead
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:28 No.18010371
    >>18010353
    Literally. He should have grabbed her, gotten in his car and peeled out from the parking lot of wherever they were playing.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:30 No.18010390
    >>18010353
    > You should've burned it with fire
    ftfy
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:30 No.18010394
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    >>18010349
    only Druids can save them now
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)03:31 No.18010404
    >>18010394

    No! We must fight with them! They cannot do it alone!
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:32 No.18010409
    >>18010394
    mfw this druid thing is new
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:32 No.18010411
    OP
    I have your 'That Guy' idea for the group.
    Make yourself a space evangelist.
    play NE coming across as good.
    Secretly sterilize all party members with thos vials.
    Constantly preach against the temptations of the flesh and the corrosive nature of lust.

    BE YE HEALED!
    >> Archivist !!fOmAgeJQ8u9 02/19/12(Sun)03:32 No.18010417
    Ok so archive is set up and ready for when we hit sage limit
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)03:33 No.18010423
    >>18010411

    Very much win, but I think his current character is too badass to give up. Good back-up character, though.

    Also, maybe a Druid. Just saiyan...
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:33 No.18010425
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    >>18010404

    THE RHODOKS WILL STAND BY YOUR SIDE TO SMITE THE FIENDS
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:34 No.18010429
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    >>18010200
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)03:34 No.18010434
    >>18010425

    Fine men indeed, but we need more. Much, much more.

    Who else comes to us in our time of need? Who will take their banner and raise it high for glory over evil?
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:34 No.18010437
    Make an engineer who specialises in fail-proof chastity belts. Can only be deactivated and taken off when the user commands it. It can sense if they're of a sound mind/will/not being manipulated by chemicals/psychic energies/smell and is otherwise impenetrable. Give one to every female character you come across. Be female yourself. This is how you ruin his roleplay.
    >> Archivist !!fOmAgeJQ8u9 02/19/12(Sun)03:36 No.18010449
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    >>18010434
    The Black Templars are reporting for duty!
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:38 No.18010456
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    >>18010434
    The Dwarves will aid you in your quest.
    In times of strife, it is you who should stand firm, not the DM's dick.
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)03:38 No.18010457
    >>18010449

    A rather unsavory group, but your answering the call of duty clears your names! We have a chance now, at least a chance...who else gives us their allegiance?
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:39 No.18010464
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    >>18010425
    SUPPORT THOSE GUYS AND PURGE THOSE MUTHA FUCKING XENOS!
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)03:39 No.18010468
    >>18010456

    Excellent! The greatest crafters of weapons in millenia! We shall have blades as deadly as this DM's gas!
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:39 No.18010469
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    >>18010434

    Rohan answers the call once again, O our allies! Spears will splinter and shields will sunder, but we welcome death in the face of so terrible a foe!
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:39 No.18010470
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    The armies of the Lion Clan stand at your side in your noble quest for justice.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:40 No.18010474
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    >>18010457

    I will join you: If nothing else, you have heaven on your side.

    (Also, OP, type. Fast.)
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:40 No.18010476
    Wait.

    OP, how the flying fuck do you expect to ever be a That Guy of such gargantuan levels to qualify as That Guy in this game/group?
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)03:40 No.18010479
    >>18010469

    >This_was_my_intended_outcome.jpg

    We shall strike back, my friends. We shall not let him win!

    >Captcah: anuchec away

    Anuchec, our best runner, has gone for more aid!
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:40 No.18010480
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    >>18010434

    paladins reporting, time to get our smite on
    >> OP 02/19/12(Sun)03:41 No.18010485
    So I grab the girl, her equipment, her sword, my blaster, my grappling hook and bail out of there. Dirk is a manly man and can carry all this shit with ease. I make it up to the initial entrance and get in communication range of the rest of the party. They tell me they found survivors. Meanwhile, Snively has passed a note to the GM and they are giggling to each other. They had moved on after securing the girl and he had to backtrack. Friend was utterly oblivious to what he was doing. So I shoot the girl up with unitox. GM looks at me and asks if I read the warning. I say it's perfect since the creatures are apparently rape monsters that incubate their young in chicks and she is clearly drugged, might be dying. He suggests that I should wait until she is back out of character to get her consent. I say my character thinks it's best to do this now because she might be dying. He gives me a shrug and acts like I fuck up despite knowing better. Meanwhile, Friend, whose character is a well-trained medic and doctor specializing in weird biology as well as an explorer diags her.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:41 No.18010493
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    >>18010456
    And the elves! (I'm sick of being mistaken for a loli, kidnapped, and enslaved for fetish fuel. If I hear the words "wut do?" one more time....)
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:42 No.18010501
         File: 1329640961.jpg-(24 KB, 400x300, Motherfucking reptar.jpg)
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    >>18010457
    Reptar's in.
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)03:42 No.18010502
    >>18010493

    I know of your plight, elves. Redeem your name now, as we charge!
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:43 No.18010507
    >>18010485

    F5!
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:43 No.18010508
         File: 1329641010.jpg-(147 KB, 642x924, Black Knight.jpg)
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    The Army of Darkness fights with you
    even evil has standards
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:43 No.18010511
         File: 1329641023.jpg-(22 KB, 465x315, 1314595961880.jpg)
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    >>18010485

    I hope you smashed his face in OP
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:43 No.18010514
         File: 1329641035.jpg-(60 KB, 346x367, 1326144809230.jpg)
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    >>18010485
    WHOA HE RAPED THE CHICKS CHARACTER WHILE SHE AS SOON AS SHE LEFT? I THOUGHT HE RAPED AN NPC YOU FOUND. HOLY SHIT HE JUST KEEPS TAKING IT UP A NOTCH.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:44 No.18010516
         File: 1329641045.jpg-(55 KB, 580x386, Phoenix-loyalists.-580x386.jpg)
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    >>18010502
    The fire nation stands with you
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:44 No.18010517
    >>18010485
    Awwww shit. You disrupted the /d/m's fantasy.You gonna pay, with dat purdy mouth of yours, boy.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:45 No.18010525
         File: 1329641106.png-(18 KB, 354x400, Wojtek_soldier_bear.png)
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    *RAAAAWR*

    Butler: "Ahem. Sir Bearington, reporting for duty. And with upgraded weaponry!"
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)03:45 No.18010526
    >>18010508
    >>18010474

    We fight for such a noble cause,t hat both heaven -and- hell have joined together to stop such dickery!
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)03:46 No.18010534
    >>18010525

    I know of you very well, Sir Bearington. Good to have you on.

    Your...secret...is safe with me.
    >> Archivist !!fOmAgeJQ8u9 02/19/12(Sun)03:46 No.18010537
    Archived OP we just hit the auto sage limit time for a new thread?

    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/18004136/
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:46 No.18010543
    >>18010485
    I have a feeling "Friend" is soon to be ex-friend.
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)03:46 No.18010546
    >>18010537

    I feel this thread was successful, despite my most epic of highjacking. Moar stoary, OP.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:47 No.18010547
    >>18010534

    What secret?
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)03:47 No.18010550
    >>18010547

    None of your damned business.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:47 No.18010552
         File: 1329641260.jpg-(480 KB, 1024x768, Helms_Deep.jpg)
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    Gruak'th! Though it disgusts us to ally with foul humans and elves, even the orcs have standards. We will send four legions of our finest, lead by the fighting Uruk-hai! Let the purge begin!
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:47 No.18010554
    This game is starting to sound like it needs a vsit from old man henderson
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:48 No.18010556
    Come up with the most boring back stories possible. If you can get away with it, use "He's an elf"

    Eat as loud as possible, and do it frequently during gameplay
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:48 No.18010557
         File: 1329641304.jpg-(66 KB, 800x590, theoden.jpg)
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    >>18010485

    OP, with such a glorious man such as yourself at our head, I see no reason our blades cannot strike this villain down.

    So let the horns sound! Let all hear the sound of our righteous armies as they smash through his armies, cast down the gates of his keep, and stain the heavens themselves red with his blood. Many will fall! Many will mourn before the day is done! But for every one of us that falls, twenty will lie at their feet! Now, men, elves, dwarves, and all other peoples of this world! Let him hear our voices, and let him know but a single word!

    DEATH!
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:49 No.18010564
    >>18010485
    What I'm wondering is why this GM would even allow unitox to be purchased (or exist at all). Its the complete opposite of what he clearly wants from the game.
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)03:49 No.18010566
    >>18010557

    (And I secretly get to loot everything while you guys fight!)

    Er, *ahem*, INDEED!
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:49 No.18010570
    >>18010564
    no, see it's supposed to be a horrible side effect remember?
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:49 No.18010572
    >>18010564
    probably as a weapon.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:50 No.18010574
         File: 1329641420.png-(22 KB, 120x120, soulsteelcastewa1.png)
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    >>18010526

    Soulsteel Caste, investigating anomoly.

    ...

    Recommend violent purge, this blight will be wiped away in the name of the Great Maker. I volunteer my beamclave to the task.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:50 No.18010576
         File: 1329641420.jpg-(22 KB, 292x440, Lizurd4.jpg)
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    >>18010557

    DEAAAAAAATH!
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:51 No.18010582
    >>18010564
    For when his DMPCs get raped, of course. So they can get raped again and again. And again. And enjoy it every time, for there is nothing a woman likes more than having tentacles forced into her vagina, and nothing more humiliating yet erotic than giving birth to an alien life form shortly thereafter.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:51 No.18010583
         File: 1329641495.jpg-(292 KB, 480x640, 1323855608869.jpg)
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    Those from beyond shall stand with you noble hero
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:51 No.18010586
    What the fuck this cannot be real. How can someone write a campaign like this. I mean this shit must take time and effort to create write and plot. Fucking hell.
    Call in Exterminatus.

    Burn all of this "DM's" notes, books... EVERYTHING in front of him.
    Kick him in the nuts and beat his sobbing body while on the ground and never talk to this creature again.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:52 No.18010591
    >>18010564
    That bit about her "consent" to be unitoxed makes me think the GM is going to pull some bullshit about her being mindraped and wanting the alien spawn, or biology altered to need it to live.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:52 No.18010593
    >>18010564
    The "cannot get pregnant" thing is supposed to be a downside to using it; by the DM's logic.

    I think.
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)03:52 No.18010594
    >>18010583

    Noble, yes. Quite noble indeed...
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:53 No.18010603
    OP I WANT TO LOVE YOUR STORY BUT YOU NEED TO TYPE FASTER
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:55 No.18010613
         File: 1329641706.jpg-(146 KB, 600x750, 1325838283014.jpg)
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    I shall hold the memory of this maid in my heart and fight with renewed vigour in her name until the world is safe from cowardly GMs and tentacle monsters.

    Victim is now the girl in this picture
    >> Coyote-Spits-In-The-Wind 02/19/12(Sun)03:55 No.18010614
         File: 1329641709.jpg-(33 KB, 250x186, Tom_Bombadil.jpg)
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    Tom Bombadil gives a fuck this day, for this GM, if he could even called that, is a far greater threat to middle earth then we have ever had to face. Sing with me Friends, so call him and have his aid.
    'Ho! Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadillo!
    By water, wood and hill, by the reed and willow,
    By fire, sun and moon, harken now and hear us!
    Come, Tom Bombadil, for our need is near us!'
    >> OP 02/19/12(Sun)03:57 No.18010642
         File: 1329641875.jpg-(296 KB, 900x665, 1284099104515.jpg)
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    Oh my. I came here to become the most elite tabletop troll, not to start a revolution but this is nice. Please be patient, my slowness with these things is legendary.

    So we blaze through a few dozen of those insect monsters on our way back to the ship, the information and the girl secure. We lift off into space and Friend returns to diagnosing the girl. He manages to syphon the tentacle smegma and the... eggs out of her but notices that she is affected by a DANGEROUS AND HIGHLY CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE that I bought at the general store. He doesn't make a deal of it at all and we arrive at home base. We are debriefed and she is taken to the medical facilities there. Soon her player returns and Victim is functioning once more. We brief her on what had occurred, glazing over the rape details. Tallfuck whose name I forget returns with the loli princess who thanks us profusely but tallfuck singles me and Victim out, wanting to have a private chat. It appears that terminating a potential pregnancy, no matter from what and no matter how early or unwanted or unlikely is considered punishable by death by the galactic accords.
    >> k 02/19/12(Sun)03:58 No.18010645
    OP i was wondering if there was anyplace to get this story from you if i miss out on the 2nd or 3rd thread
    >> Archivist !!fOmAgeJQ8u9 02/19/12(Sun)03:58 No.18010648
    >>18010642
    Op start a new thread we are autosaging mate
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)03:59 No.18010652
    >>18010642

    New thread, please. This one's gonna be going pretty soon, methinks.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:59 No.18010654
    Who wakes up in the morning, and says to themselves "I am going to run a game about rape"

    And then thinks "Hey why not let this be some poor girls first intro to roleplay"

    At that point the cyanide capsule should rupture in the fa/tg/uys tooth and have this shit end before it begins.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)03:59 No.18010657
    >>18010591
    Or the gm believes the *player* will be genuinely upset, because all women LOVE getting pregnant.

    I've seen worse delusions, it could happen.
    >> ʘ 02/19/12(Sun)03:59 No.18010658
         File: 1329641986.jpg-(221 KB, 679x675, neonate_by_psykerscum-d490lu3.jpg)
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    >>18010564
    Hmm... I'm guessing the xp bonus and other boons backfire whenever used; sort of a "psychic feedback".

    This is silly, but I guess all the popular kids are doin' it.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)04:01 No.18010669
         File: 1329642071.png-(17 KB, 614x604, 1329596122882.png)
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    >>18010642
    BWAHAHAHA THESE FUCKING GUYS. TELL ME YOU WENT FULL RENEGADE ON THEIR ASSES.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)04:03 No.18010681
    TERMINATING A PREGNANCY IS PUNISHABLE BY DEATH

    brb laughing until I die
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)04:03 No.18010688
    >>18010642
    >HIGHLY CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE
    >bought a dozen of them at a space pharmacy
    Dohohohoho

    >It appears that terminating a potential pregnancy, no matter from what and no matter how early or unwanted or unlikely is considered punishable by death by the galactic accords.

    Of course. I hope you forced some of that stuff down their throats, because fishlips definitely had his way with both of them.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)04:06 No.18010705
         File: 1329642383.png-(18 KB, 491x252, Mojo_Jojo.png)
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    This scene is not something that agrees with I, I being MOJO-JOJO! I may be of simian ancestry but the violating actions of rape and other debauchery offend me. To say that they make me angry and insult me on a personal level is correct. To say it delights me, is not what I am saying. It is in fact the very opposite of what I said. Such vulgar actions belong to lesser species, species that are not human or ANY OF THOSE SUPERIOR. As by those who are superior, I mean I, Mojo-Jojo. Who is superior thanks to my great intellect, which I gained from the chemical known as X. Or Chemical X, which granted to me my accursed nemesises, THE POWER PUFF GIRLS. But even as much as I detest them, they being the POWER PUFF GIRLS. I would never degrade to such action that are being described in this thread. Which is describing the acts of non-consensual procreation among a young girl. Which, I MOJO-JOJO, renowned super-genius and enemy of the accursed POWER-PUFF GIRLS, do not condone. At all.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)04:07 No.18010715
    where is the new thread to continue this epic sage?
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)04:07 No.18010717
    >>18010705

    Er...the more the merrier?...right then.

    (Made me lol)
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)04:08 No.18010721
    >Planet overrun by some stupid creature that impregnate womens to make more of themselves
    >But we can't kill their babies it's a CRIME

    they fucking deserve to be extinct
    >> ʘ 02/19/12(Sun)04:09 No.18010728
    >>18010642
    You mean, she actually came back?

    Poor girl. Those fat turds are beyond redemption, but she can still be saved. Run a game yourself, give her the experience of a good session unhindered by BDSM and fetishes.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)04:09 No.18010729
    >>18010715
    moot boosted the bump limit to 500 not too long ago. Or was that just for the bigger boards like /v/?
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)04:09 No.18010731
    >>18010705
    > mfw Powerpuff Girls in this DMs game
    > actually, there is no mfw sufficient to describe this horror
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)04:10 No.18010735
    >>18010731

    They'd be the Power Puff'd Girls.

    True story.
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)04:10 No.18010738
    >>18010728
    this

    you can save her

    be the hero
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)04:11 No.18010743
         File: 1329642673.jpg-(46 KB, 268x428, aku.jpg)
    46 KB
    I, AKU, THE SHAPESHIFTING MASTER OF DARKNESS, ASK OF THEE, WHAT IS THIS SHIT!?

    I WILL SEND MY ROBOT LEGIONS STRAIGHTAWAY
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)04:11 No.18010744
    >>18010729
    Only for /a/, /v/ and /sp/.
    >> CaptainKeyes !7hkRu2iZOg 02/19/12(Sun)04:13 No.18010761
    >>18010743

    Such a powerful yet heinous ally...I thank you for your service.
    >> OP 02/19/12(Sun)04:13 No.18010762
    >>18010759
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)04:14 No.18010768
         File: 1329642871.jpg-(27 KB, 475x360, 1328235038819.jpg)
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    New thread where?
    >> Anonymous 02/19/12(Sun)04:15 No.18010775
    >>18010728
    I agree with this. You could annoy the fuck out of the GM by being an abortionist if you really want to, but your time would be better spent running a proper game for the victim. Too many good roleplayers get scared off on their first time because of fucks like That Gm.
    >> k 02/19/12(Sun)04:16 No.18010787
    >>18010759
    THREAD 2 IS UP



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