DOC!
I GOTZ ME ARM HURT BAH A HUMIE CHOPPA LAST MONTH

DA WOUND'S NOT CLOSIN' AN IT LOOKS EVEN GREEN'R THAT DA REST A'ME

WHASSIT?

>>18029740
Soundz loike ya got a kase o'da QUIT CRYIN' ABOUT IT, YA WHINY LI'L GROT! Jezt wipe da dirty stuff off it, den wait in da lobby an take a numba. Da nurse'll see ya in a bit. Howevva, I ain't so great wiff numbaz. I only got up ta 5, so if dere ain't no numbaz left, ye should krump da next git in line and take 'iz.

TEEF FER DA TEEF GO-

...

UH...

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

>>18029884
DAT'Z DA SPIRIT, LAD! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

>>18029778
ROIGHT, SO I'VE BEEN RUBBIN A SHARP ROCK ON IT BUT THERE'S TINY GITS IN DER, ALL MOVIN' AND SQUIGGLIN'

I'D KRUMP EM BUT MAYBE THEY'RE GOOD FER ME, THEY LOOK KINDA RED AN' ALL BUT DAT MAY JUST BE ME SQUISHY BITS.

>>18029712

Excuse me, Dok-kuun, but have you heard the Good news?
You too can be part of the Utopic Tau'va! Never again must you suffer in this debasing conflict your people are steeped in. Never more must you endure this primitive technology.
You can now be part of the Greater Good!
Come, rejoice with us, brother!

A'ite Dok. Helpz me wiff dis. Evree time I gotz ta chop or dakka any of da umiez, itz da only time i feel alive. wen itz juss me, and my choppa (baby-boo-boo) at night, i feel loike derz a gwreat BIG hole in my chess, and i get dat look in my eye,dat ya only get wen udder orkz is around, loike its missin or sumfin!? wut givz?!

>>18029712
I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP!

I'D RATHER DIE!

Pitiful Dok,
Your work is meaningless in the eyes of The Great Changer of Ways. How does it feel to just a pawn in the game that is our universe. He has a plan for us all and are you not proud to relish in the fact that you too may carry his will? All is dust my dear friend, all is dust.

Dear Dok.

What do them tau girls got in their panties? The others say "squiggly bits", but they can't agree which kind.

FOR THE EMPRAH! enjoy this song, HERETIC.

>>18029932
Getchaself a burna and burn da li'l freeloadaz out. Dey ain't payin' ya fer da ride. 'Til ya see some teef, loight em up!
>>18029950
...Ye'z onna dem Blueberry nerdz, ain't ya? GET OUT, 'FORE I GET ME CHOPPA!
>>18029953
I paskribe 10cc's o' QUIT MUCKIN' ABOUT! YOU SAD WHEN YA AIN'T KRUMPIN? YA SAD, EH? DEN GET BACK TA KRUMPIN, YA GIT! WARBOSS AIN'T WAAAAGHIN? SOUNDS LIKE A ROIGHT SOFT WARBOSS TA ME! CHOP 'IZ 'EAD OFF AN BECOME DA BOSS! DEN WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

So ya fink youz da Dokta, huh?

OI, DOC!
I GOTZ ME CHOPPA STUCK IN ME 'EAD WHEN I WAZ MUCKIN' ABOUT, NOW SOMETIMES I
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH
CAN I PULL IT OUT?

Can I borrow a grot?

CAN-NOT FEEL MY ARMS
HAVE NEV-ER FELT THEM BE-FORE EI-THER
ON-LY RE-CENT-LY A-WARE OF THIS FACT
WILL KILL YOU A-NY-WAY
EX-TER-MIN-ATE
EX-TER-MIN-ATE
EX-TER-MIN-ATE

>dis thread

>>18030015
Den give me regardz ta Gork an' Mork!
>>18030026
Ya sure use a lotta fancy wurdz, dere! Sound loike onna dem 'Umiez! Ya a 'Umie? A weedy, pink li'l 'Umie? GO CRYIN' BAK TA YA 'UMIE FRIENDZ, YA BITTY LI'L WHELP! DA DOK IZ 'ERE TA TALK TA BIG STRONG BOYZ!
>>18030028
'Oo knowz? I'z an Ork Dok. Me blood iz red an me skin iz green! 'Owevva, I wouldn't moind kuttin onna dem open. I fink I saw onna da berriez earlier. Go make wiff da choppy an bring da bitz whotz left ta me!
>>18030034
So diz whot da 'Umiez do, eh? Dey sing li'l songz? Could be makkin wiff da dakka or da choppy, but no, dey'z SINGIN? HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

OI! ve cossack think you orkz iz glorious raiding comrades, da?

>>18030039
Oi dok. Deres sum voices in me brain day tell me to be a part ov sum 'Ive mind or summin n dey want me to git eatin er sumfin like dat. Ow do I hgit dese buggers out ov my 'ead

Oi Dok. I'm a human, but I wanna live my life more Orky. How can I do so?

>Captcha: emperors, eahostn
What are out EA Emporers hosting, Captcha?

>>18030044
Yeah, I iz. I'm da Dok. Bleedin' 'Umiez.
>>18030061
Datz whot ya get when ya MUCKIN' ABOUT! Jezt give it a good yank. If ya ain't strong enuff cause ya spend ya time MUCKIN ABOUT when ya shoulda been foightin, den jezt get da pullin squig and tie it to da choppa.
>>18030074
Fresh out, lad. Uzed da lazt one when dat Flash Git Rubiz needed a new all o' 'iz blood. Skweezed it dry, I did.
>>18030088
Ya tok funny, lad. Might wanna take a numba.

>>18030144
OKAY, I'Z GUNNA PULL IT OUT-
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHH

Dok! Me boyz aint werkin like day shud. Summit rong wif dem or aw day jus' muckin abou'? Day jus' lay about all day an don' do nuffing. Day cold an stiff and day don' move wen i beat'um. DAY DON' WANNA WAAAAGH DOK!!! DAY AINT ROIGHT!! WAS RONG WIF MY BOYZ!?

Dok-san.

Every time I hear this funky-ass beat, my hips start moving on their own.

Is it normal?

>>18030109
We'z da best at foightin'! Ya 'Umiez kouldn't keep up, see?!
>>18030126
Getchaself a nice big choppa, den jezt krak it open. Den, when ya 'eadz all open and readylike, shake da li'l buggaz out. Moight wanna take a burna to it too, jezt ta be safe.
>>18030132
Step 1: Make ya skin green. Ain't not a Ork unless ya skin iz green, see?
Step 2: Make wiff da choppin an' dakka. Lotz. Nevva enuff, in fakt!
Step 3: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Sumtimes, I fink, dat, I dun really like burnas. Deyz just fer da bak of me bomma, not like me zappy gubbinz.

All da utha boyz iz all like "WAAAGH" wif dem burnas, but I jus wanna zapp fingz. Iz I oddboy?

Hey Dok. Iz a dok too but Iz new ta dis 'ealin fing so's I wanted a bit o' advice. Me and my WAAAGH has found some right proppa fightin' on dis jungly planet with these tough 'umies.

My question is is 'umie bitz any good fer replacing limbs and fings? I ask cuz some a' dems is just about the proppa size but da boss doesnt want me killing too many of 'em for parts unless I thinkz its gonna work.

I think I have developed some sort of skin condition. It itches so much i'm constantly grimacing. Also my hair looks weird.

>>18030168
Nurs 'ere, they got any krumpin 'fore dey stopped movin'?

>>18030168
If kikkin an' yellin' ain't werkin, soundz loike ya boyz got a kase o' da LAZY GITZ! Sikk da squigz on 'em! Evva da boyz'll get back inta shape, or da squigz get a good meal. Win-win! Den jezt get some new boyz!
>>18030170
I rememba diz boy, 'e 'ad a simila problum. See, 'il arm wuz movin' about wiffout 'im tellin' it to. So, I chopped it off an' dere wuz all deze funny lookin' wurmz da burned when da sunloight got on 'em. Ya moight got some o' da arm wurmz, but in ya' 'ipz. Kut 'em open an' see!

>>18030232
That explains a lot; her hips are full of scarabs.

>>18030232
Danks Dok! Day jus' lay dere whol da squigs ate em oll up good 'n proppa. Good boyz iz 'ard to come by. Ware iz i gonna git new boyz?

>>18030196
Yez, ye'z an oddboy. Ain't nuffin' wrong wiff burnaz, lad. Da Dok even uzez dem from toime ta toime when sumpfin ain't stoppin' wiff da bleedin'. Jezt kram a burna in dere an' it uzually wurks!
>>18030197
Eugh! Lizten, rookie, ain't nevva a good idea ta' uze 'Umie bitz fer Orkz. Make 'em weak an weedy, it will! Nuffin' iz stronga dan an Ork, see? So why make da boy weaka? Jezt take dere teef fer sum poket change an' be on ya way.
>>18030203
Getchaself da skrapin' squig an jezt rub it all ova ya face. Skrape all da gunk an' wyrd bitz off wiff it, den wash off da squig an' ya done. Marvelous fings, dem skrapin squigz.
>>18030214
GET BAK IN DA LOBBY 'FOR I PUT YA BAK IN WIFF ME CHOPPA!

>>18030277
Jezt find anovva WAAAAAAAGH, krump da Warboss an take 'iz boyz. Simple az dat!

Doc, I'z painted me arm pu'ple so dem 'umiez don't see me choppa comin', but when I come back from krumpin', me arm's gon.
Did I paint it too gud?

>>18030313
Danks agan Dok. U kin WAAAAAAAGH wif me an me new boyz any'ol day.

I foun a good strong WAAAAGH but dere boss 'as gon sof' loik a 'umies skull. Foun dis' sad ol' git in wif it.
>>18029953
I mite jus' let 'im live if 'e proves 'ees a 'ard boy. I fink I'monna krump dat lazy git of a boss an go smash some shinees. Day green an' glowy but day no match fo WAAAAAAAAAGH

>>18030302
YA JUST MUKIN ABOUT ANYWAY YA GIT

>>18030430
Evva ya painted too gud or ya accidentally chopped it off. Try feelin' around for it, see if ya kan bump inta it on da battlefield. A sniffin' squig moight 'elp, too.
>>18030465
DATZ IT! TOIME FER A BIT O' MALPRAKTIZ! GONNA KRUMP YOU UP GOOD!

>>18030508
WHY DON YA TROI IT YA GIT

Oi Dok! I wuz jus' eksperimentiin' wif sum new gubbinz an' I think I jus' built a roight an' propa cybork arm p'rfect fer some kurmpin! But how shud I go about instull...atin' it into some propa tuff enuff boy? I'm a bloody Mek, I ain't kno how 'em squishier bitz work. Iz ya got any advice fer me?

Dok 'ow can i get me teef to be more bitey?!

>>18030508
I looked fo' me arm wif a sniffin' squig, now dere is pu'ple stuff on its teef. I fink it ate it. How do I git it bakk?

>>18030618
just graft the squig on your stump!

DER MISTA DOK

OY wuz jus' stompin about w' me mates neah da camp wen alla sudden dis Tee-rannyyud Carney-feks shows isself an up an chomps da ead offa me boy Gorfthud. We gone an smashed him up propa (da Carney-feks dat iz) but now ol' Gorfthud dont ave any ead'! (das cuz da Carney-feks et it). We all missim kinda propa an e owes me a couplah teef, so ows we gonna go bout' bringin im back?


Regerds

Shootaboy Knufftruk

>>18030665
Waaaiiiit... you'z not da proppa dok!
Git outta 'ere befo I come ova' dere an' krump ya wif me good arm!

Doc, 'ow can my dakka 'ave mo' dakka

And, while on et, how can my choppa be mo' choppy?

>>18030700
Ya mif wanna try talkin' to dis git 'ere

e'll get you fixed up good an proppa.
>>18030586

Diz fing ain't lettin' me make wiff da typey! Tellin' me it finks me pozt is "spam". What da zog is spam?!

>>18030724
>>18030694

Oi, IF I knew more about dem squishy bitz and gubbinz of da boyz, I cou'd put some smart gubbinz togeda an' make dat git a nu head, but I dunno enuff about squishy bitz! Thass why I'm askin' the Dok 'ere too, ya gitz!

>>18030724
You'z... ALSO not da dok!
Wot's wif dese 'ere gits mukin' about in da 'ospitl? Kudn't find a WAAAAGH?

>>18030787
We'z all 'ere ta get fixed up right and proppa so we can go back to da WAAAAGHHHH ya git'

You gonna get a krumpin if ya keep saying fings like dat.

[[incoming vox transmittion]]

[[>>>play]]

DEAR GREENY MC FUCKFACE

WOULD YOU KINDLY EXPLAIN TO ME WHY EVERY TIME I MASH ONE OF YOUR FUCKBUDDIES FACES INTO TOOTHPASTE IT LEAVES A SMELL LIKE ROTTEN SHIT ENCRUSTED TAMPONS STRAIGHT OUT OF NURGLES ASS ORIFICE ALL OVER MY POWER FIST?

I CAN'T SEEM TO SCRUB THE SMELL AWAY AND ITS PISSING ME OFF!!

SINCERELY,

GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A TYRANNOFEX

[[end of message]]

>>18030550
HA! Loike I'd waste me toime on a git loike you! Firztly, ya fired, sekindly, ya poizined, firdly, ya poizined again.
>>18030586
Ahh datz easy, lad! Chop off da bitz ya don't need, jam in da arm an' twizt 'til da arm don't wiggle 'round no more. Afta dat, ya jezt add some powa an ya done, simple as dat!
>>18030606
I'z got a new surgery kalled "choppa teef" dat replacez ya teef wiff choppaz. See, it uzez sum pretty high-tek stuff, so'z I can't exactly tell ya 'bout it, but I'z at leazt 50% shur it workz!
>>18030618
Reach inta da squig an' yank it out! It'z jezt a sniffin' squig, not a bitin' squig, so ya shuld be foine!
>>18030694
Well, ya kuld alwayz jezt stikk da 'eadsquig on dere fer a bit, getcha teef, den yank it bak off an kik da git down a pit or sommat. Ain't gonna be any uze ta ya wifout an' 'ead!
>>18030711
Stikk ya dakka ta anovva dakka and ya choppa ta anovva choppa! Dakka-dakka and choppa-choppa! Trademark Advice Dok!

>>18030825
I loike da kut o' diz git'z jib, I do! An it smellz kuz ain't nuffin gonna get an Ork ta stop! Not choppin, not shootin' an' cert'nly not smellin'! Da Orkz don't got time ta take onna ya weedy li'l 'Umiez insoide wotta rainy-storm fingz!

>>18030839

Denk ye dok, you'z rioight an' propa! If you'z need any cybork gubbinz fer yer paishunz, jus' ask me.

>>18030839
Alroight, I pull'd me arm outta the squig from the ovva end.
K'n I git sum rope an' a stabby fing to put it bakk on now?

Wossis deal bout' dem Ellydar anyhoo? Neva got round ta choppin em' but da boss say dems is real good pickens. Lemme firs say I gotta bit o' experens wif da regular Humies, da Spacy Marineys, da Taw an dem Weirdo Cay-awss boys(which is me personal fave boy da way, rest is real soft like iffya ask me)

yaws trooli,

'opin ta be a nob sommday

>>18030937
Da's wat happens when ya don't paint yer arms red.

Dey go too fast for 'umies to see 'em anyways.

>>18030954
Dats sum real gud finkin', roight dere. I'monna do dat next toime. But first, I needz me arm bakk on.

>>18030839
kay we stukka 'eadsquig on im alroight, da ting wudnt stop bytin an trashin 'bout! Ez movin ol' Gorfthud'z body like e knows wass ez doin, but da Smartboy say dem sqigs teef iz not countin az much az orky teef! DITS MAKIN ME FRUSTRATED!! Speacily since I gone an used up alla my own teef wen da boss slapped me gob fer not bringin' im da Carny-Feks ead for iz Wartruk

Dok, kan ya elp me? I took an arrow to the knee!

>>18030937
Sorry lad, fresh outta rope. Jezt 'old it on dere and melt it on wiff a burna or sommat. Dat'll 'old for a whoile!
>>18030944
Deyz a lot loike da 'Umiez, cept dey'z smalla' an' weedya. Dey loike ta 'op around a lot, kuz dey kant take 'itz loike da big 'Umiez kan, but dey trikky! Gotta be on ya toez when ya foight da tossaz! If ya do foight em, make shur ya brind some burnaz! Gitz can't jump outta da way o' fi'a!

Ah don't ave a qwestion, buh I lovva show yew all me Umie mpression! Ere goes... **ahem**... IN THE NAME OF THE EMPEROR, SMELLY HUMANS GOT TO DIE LOTS AND LOTS... **GASP** huff huff huff... dats mighty ard but ope yew lik et! We lovs ta skrew wif da umies onna smartboys radyow skanna!

I used to be a Commissar. Then I became a Prisoner. Then I became Boss. Then I killed the Doc what did it because if he'd put the old Boss brain in a squig and swap it for a humans. He'd do it too me too.

Now if you'll excuse me. I have some skulls to crack.

>>18031038
Jezt whakk 'im ovva da 'ead wiff a grot or sommat an' yank da teef out. Squig teef ain't wurff much, yeah, but deyz got a lotta dem! Jezt keep pullin' 'til ya make up da diff'rense!
>>18031063
DAT WUZN'T FUNNY DA FURZT TIME, GUBZUG, IT AIN'T FUNNY ANY O' DA UVVA TOIMEZ! GET OUTTA ME OFFICE 'FORE I SIKK DA BITIN' SQUIGZ ON YA!

>>18031100
Datz...roight kreepy, dat iz.
>>18031105
Ya tok funny, lad. Reel funny.

>>18031100
Noice. Oi wuz in da uvva room an nearly frew a stikbomb in 'ere when I 'erd yer yellin'. Wotch when yer use dat or yer moight get friendly Foired.

allo der fello Dok!

Did I ever tell yer dat I managed ta stick da brain offa me bes trained tak' squig inta a Jean Steala?

ya shoulda seen in, e was rollin round an doin trickss fa us! shame dat Warboss got started an flattened im rigt den an derre

Ey dok, ahBEEPt sure if itz somefink I gobbed er drunk er chBEEPd, but ahm fin'in it reeeealy 'arBEEP concan- contran- ta finBEEPout fings. Shud I gBEEPbba more fings, or jus lay off da squiBEEPice? WhBEEPa say?

>>18031063
pussumm more arrowws inna yur knee, an som in yer ead too

Oi, Dok! Me an' da boyz too da Boss's battlewagon fer a ride, an' we crashed it! Whadda we do!?

OP's picture looks like the good doctor is about to give an unwilling prostate examination.

>>18031186
Datz nuffin! See, diz one toime me ol' Warboss wuz all mad wiff me fer puttin' 'iz arm on bakwadz an' wuz fixin' ta krump me sumpfin fierce. So, I switched me OWN brain wiff dat poor git Luz, den switched Luz'z brain wiff a melta bomb. 'E smashed up Luz real gud an wuz 'avin a real blazt doin' it 'til da bomb went off, blew 'im up an den Urrl took 'iz place. Urrl wuz bigga anyway.
>>18031209
STOP YA BEEPIN', GIT! Bloody moronz buggin' me wiff dere beepin' problemz. Don't even know ta jezt chop out da beepy bitz.

>>18030882

[[incoming vox transmittion]]

[[>>>play]]

GUESS WHAT? JUST SCRUBBED THAT SHIT AWAY WITH SOME 40' 000 YEAR OLD ORANGE GLO! SO MUCH FOR ORKS NEVER STOPPING AHAHAHA FAGGOT!!! IM GOING TO GO AND MASTURBATE YOUR WAR BOSSES FACE WITH MY POWER FIST!!!

[[end of message]]

>>18031260
Ya got two opshunz. Wun, ya kuld gang up an krump da boss b'fore 'e doez da same ta you, an' if ya boyz iz anyfing like you, 'ez gonna krump you up roight quick. Or too, blame it on dem an let 'im pop 'em like an over-inflated air squig.
>>18031286
IT'Z DA ONLY ONE I KULD FIND! Diz 'Umie intanetz ain't gud fer nuffin! An' I'z a Dok, not a drawinboy. I kan't draw nuffin!

>>18031334
>40,000 year old Orange Glo
>in 40,000 AD
>Orange Glo existed in 0 AD
>Jesus was Orange Glo

>>18031260
ya besser putz it back togetha, less yew wanna boy anotha wan. Unlez yewz iz Evil Sunz clan, den yar warboss'll prob want yer skalpz

>>18031334
Sukka. Wot 'e don't know iz, I swapped da oranj stuff wiff more Ork bitz. Nekzt toime 'e washez 'iz arma, 'ell be stinkin' like a roight proppa Ork! WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

>>18031391

[[incoming vox transmittion]]

[[>>>play]]

WONT MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE, MY POWER FIST IS SHOVED UP A NOBS ASSHOLE RIGHT NOW!!! PLUS I STILL HAVE MY POWER BAR STOOL AND IT SMELLS JUST DANDY!!!

P.S. FUCKING FAGGOT SHIT DICK MOTHERFUCKER GO SPIT ROAST YOURSELF BETWEEN GORK AND MORK

[[end of message]]

Oi Dok! Muh WAAAGH! needz mur WAAAGH! 'ow doz I get bettar WAAAGH?!

>>18031469
>power bar stool

properly sanctioned I trust?

>>18031482
Doks ain't bosses (cept fer da painboss) so'z oi'll anser. Datz an easy 'un. Repeatz after me, WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

>>18031482
MORE DAKKA! MORE CHOPPY! MORE WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

>>18031552
>>18031551
Al'ight. I gotz a bigger dakka 'n' a choppier choppy.I'll try some more WAAAGH!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

der dok

imma minder fer a weirdboy

got any wayz fer me ta git im ta stop runnin off? wuz gonna chain m to me arm, but da boss say we cant do dat since da lass won wuz a 'eadbanger an blew up issol sqwad. Any way ta keep em klose wifout gettin im blown up?

>>18031551
Weeeeeell, I don't loike ta brag, but I'z pretty klose ta bein' a Painboss, meself! All I'z gotta do iz jezt krump da one above me an' steal 'iz Cyborkz. Dat kinda fing takez toime, tho. But I'z bidin' me toime. Bidin' it gud...
>>18031620
Try chanin' 'im to a fat squig. 'E kan't run away if 'ez attached ta a big fat zoggin' squig whot jezt sitz dere an eatz fings wot wonda too klose. Dat way, 'e ain't 'urtin' none o' da boyz, but iz also still wiffin' reach!

>this thread

WHELP! Lookz loike fingz iz slowin' down, so da Dok iz gonna take 'iz leave. So long, boyz, and rememba: A WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH a day getz da Dok 'iz pay!

OI DOK. DIS DAUK ELFDAR WOOMIN PROMISD ME DA BIGGESTEST CHOPPA I'D ERR SAWED IF AH 'SHOWED HER SUMFIN HUGE IN BED' WUT SHE MEAN DOK? I ASKED IF SHE MEENT MAH DAKKA, BUTT SHE SAYED 'NOT YER SHOOTA, BUT IT SHOOD SHOOT' I'Z CONFUZZED DOK. DA CHOPPA WAS REALLEH, REALLEH HUGE.

>>18031952
Don' trust dem dark elfdars. best tah krump em an be don wiff it

OI! DOK!
SOME HUMIE GITS SHOT ME WIF DIS WEIRD DART SHOOTA FINGY DA OWER DAY AN WHEN I WOKE UP I HAD DIS BELT FING WIF AN ANTENNER AROUND ME NECK.
IT KEEPS MAKIN BEEPIN NOISES AN DERE'S DIS HUMIE CHOPTA FOLLOWIN ME AROUND.

ANNYWAY, DA BELT IZ GIVIN ME DIS RASH AN I WANNA KNOW IFF YOUSE GOT A SALVE OR SUMFIN?

OI'LL SNAP YER GROT NECK,
GITSNIK SNIKGIT

DOK! WE FOUND DIS FUNNY METAL THING OVER 'ERE! ITS DAKKA IS ORKY AN' IT SHOOTS ORKY GREEN LAZERS, AN' HAS THOSE ORKY GREEN SIGNS ALL OVER IT, BUT DA BOSS SAYS I CAN'T KEEP 'CAUSE DIS WEAPON ISN'T ORKY ENUFF! CAN I KEEP IT ANYWAY?!

Dear Doctor. Is there a process to turn organs into cocaine? I could really use it.

XOXO
-Doomrider

OY DOK! I ATE ONE OF 'EM 'NIDS TODAH BECAUSE DEM 'NIDS ATE OUR SQUIGS, BUT I FEEL KINDA FUNNY NOW AN DIS STOPID GROTS DONT STOP WHISPRIN TO ME, BUT I ALLREADY HIT 'EM WITH MY CHOPPA SO DEY SHOUL'N'T BE WHISPRIN ANYMORE! IT DERE ANY WAYS TA STOP DIS? I FEEL LIKE'A HUMIE!