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  • File: 1329784985.jpg-(64 KB, 798x803, 1294996446412.jpg)
    64 KB OP 02/20/12(Mon)19:43 No.18032393  
    Huh. The thread MYSTERIOUSLY 404'd. I hope it wasn't me as I was trying to delete a mispost. Anyway, adventures of Dirk Falcon continue!

    He's on a personal cruiser or something, a ship bigger and better than ours. He tells us to give up and pay for our space crimes. Actually, he singles me out. Apparently I am the only one who comitted anything serious. He tells the others to turn me over or they will suffer with me. "I what I did was wrong, then there is no right in the galaxy." I state, putting on my one-liner voice. "If you want me to answer for what you call crimes, I will. Gladly. But first you have to prove yourself in single combat against me."
    "This is childish." Tallfag replies in a haughty voice.
    "It's the only way. I'm going down fighting one way or another."
    Friend rolls to see if there are legal precedents for this and apparently trial by duel is still legit according to space law.
    "Very well. Step into the teleportation pad and we will beam you over for a duel."
    I scribble something on a note card then state that I step through out loud. He actually likes it when Snively pulled this shit. I pass him the card as he describes that once I arrive on the bridge.
    >> OP 02/20/12(Mon)19:43 No.18032402
    Card says that I pull the pin on every grenade I have, my plasmas, Snively's High Explosive and EMP grenades before I step on the teleporter and turn on my pressure field generator and Snively's high-grade forcefield Dirk Falcon is a hero, not an honorable man. He takes off his spider harness as he is peppered with stun rounds and lobs the whole deal at tallfuck. There is more than enough ordanance there to level the bridge. GM is sweating and looking oddly constipated, looking for a way out. I state that Dirk will quick-draw a blaster and shoot Tallfuck's arm if he goes for a teleporter. GM states that there will be a few rounds before the bombs detonate. We roll and I manage to catch a 20 on his roll before he grabs the die and looks at me like nothing happened. I roll and get a 9. Since it's a roll-under system luck is in my favor. I smirk at him and tell him that I saw what he rolled. We argue. "Fine, roll to hit." I roll well enough to zap the thing out of his hand but not to destroy it. He goes for it and I go for him. "This is why I take fucking wrestling." Tallfuck and Dirk struggle as the cockpit erupts around them.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)19:45 No.18032431
    Oh good I thought one of the mods went full retard or something.

    Do you have the previous entries saved so we can get them posted in here and archived for posterity?
    >> OP 02/20/12(Mon)19:46 No.18032438

    I don't exactly know what happened. I seemed to have deleted that post successfully then it redirected me to that page.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)19:49 No.18032473
    >as he is peppered with stun rounds

    Looks like tallfuck had no intention of dueling either.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)19:49 No.18032475
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    I am most curious as to how this shit started, do repost, plz.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)19:49 No.18032477
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)19:49 No.18032481
    Pt 1. http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/18004136/
    Pt 2. suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/18010759
    Pt 3. http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/18029935/
    >> OP 02/20/12(Mon)20:00 No.18032638
    GM drops his dice and closes his laptop. He takes a really deep breath and lets it out, eyes dramatically closed. Let me describe him again as many of you believe he is a fatass. Jelly GM is not exactly a huge guy. He looks more like a skinny, tall person whose muscles had suddenly turned to fat, like a clammy, molten wax figure. He's pale, clean shaven and generally slug-like. Definitely a rare but not too unusual body build. "I thought you guys could have been more mature about this. Especially you, [my name], but no, you just had to go and kill important NPCs and fuck up my story."
    I was seething, but didn't have the energy to have an outburst like I usually do in these situations. "Listen, Pete, what story. You want us to travel the galaxy knocking up women. The first thing you tried with Victim is to get her pregnant, isn't that right? RPGs are about story and adventure, most of all about fun and playing a character. At no point do fetishes come in. You based your whole SETTING around your fetishes." That was the gist of what I said. I know you guys wanted me to burn or punch his shit, but let's get realistic here. He interrupted me many times while I spoke and we hada back and forth.
    He said he wanted to run a mature game for mature players who would tolerate his world. I said that he wanted to get his jollies by impregnating make-believe women left and right. Victim stayed silent but Friend chimed in with a "Seriously man, there are way more pregnant women than there needed to be. I just wanted to run around and have space adventures."
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:01 No.18032658
    Ahh, such a good storytime. Here's to freedom from rape, stun rounds, and pregnancy.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:02 No.18032669
         File: 1329786165.gif-(487 KB, 263x150, 1308099047926.gif)
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    >"Seriously man, there are way more pregnant women than there needed to be. I just wanted to run around and have space adventures."
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:03 No.18032676
    So OP, how about that character sheet and/or that recording?
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:04 No.18032684
    Did you tell him that if he wanted people to tolerate his world he should look for other subhumans on the internet?
    >> OP 02/20/12(Mon)20:09 No.18032751
    "It's my world, I'm /sorry/ that you're just not mature enough to enjoy it."
    "Snively is mature enough I take it? He runs around giggling as he fucks chicks. That's literally his whole goal."
    "It's just how he plays his character."
    "Haven't you noticed that everybody else keeps leaving once they get knocked up, gender flipped or tentacled? This isn't maturity, it's smut. Simple as that. We play anyway and you punish us for avoiding it."
    At this point he had packed up his dice and slapped the bag into the table in a limp-wristed gesture of fury, pursed his lips and gave me a hard look before looking around the table. Snively was back. "So, who wants to keep playing?"
    I shrugged. Everybody said yes.
    "So [myname] dies from exposure. Tallfuck contacts you and says that the criminal is now-"
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:10 No.18032765
    Shush disbelief-anon! the storyteller is typing.

    /part of the "don't care if it's real, just enjoying the ride" group.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:12 No.18032786

    Dream the impossible dream.
    Captcha: rtGoodur consent

    Captcha agrees that consent is a good thing.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:15 No.18032828
    I feel like he jiggles every time he gets expressive. Is this true?
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:18 No.18032860
    >Everybody said yes.

    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:19 No.18032874
         File: 1329787173.png-(636 KB, 590x536, wat.png)
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    >"So [myname] dies from exposure. Tallfuck contacts you and says that the criminal is now-"
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:20 No.18032885
    calling it now, victim has gotten fed up with it
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:24 No.18032922
    I disagree, I say it's /d/M
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:25 No.18032938
    I don't think the would have cried bullshit, there.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:25 No.18032944
    ...but the /d/M said the line preceding that.
    >> OP 02/20/12(Mon)20:26 No.18032952
    Friend didn't look happy. "No, Snively's forcefield could casually resist explosions and he has a pressure field. There's no way he would have just died like that, and no way tallfuck could have survived unless he had something like that." Friend is not quite a rule lawyer but more of a champion of plausibility. He reacts violently when things don't make sense to him and handwaving is his bane. He argues back and forth with GM. GM's primary argument is "I say so, my game, deal with it."
    Friend is no longer happy. Victim says that she just wants to play. And not get pregnant. She says that she was having fun deciding running around the space station trying to rescue me. I tell her I'm sorry for blowing up the game because she looks pretty sad and annoyed. GM says that they can suck it because it's his setting or something to that effect as he packs up. I give him a middle finger and say "Fuck your fetish trash," And then another middle finger "You degenerate." That is a thing I actually did. I'm not quite as good at dramatic one-liners as Dirk. Friend drops his dice and leans back, blowing out a space sigh. Just then I smell a familiar scent of cigarette smoke waft in from the front of the store.

    > enjoyed dsmmitte
    I don't think anyone did captcha
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:26 No.18032955
    The /d/m calling bullshit on his own railroady GMPC bullshit?

    Multiple personality disorder to the rescue!
    >> That McGuyver 02/20/12(Mon)20:28 No.18032978
    >Everyone says yes
    >Dirk 'Hero' Falcon is dead, but not the man he had a chokehold on
    Yeah, should have gone with the MPreg. The only way to destroy this 'ideal' world is to turn it into hell for him.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:29 No.18032985
    Oh higher powers
    >> Just then I smell a familiar scent of cigarette smoke waft in from the front of the store

    This is the worst cliffhanger. I feel same as reading the "everybody got on the floor"

    Plus, I now only have 6 hours left till I have to wake up again...
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:32 No.18033021
    >Just then I smell a familiar scent of cigarette smoke waft in from the front of the store.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:33 No.18033023
    I thought OP wrote this up before hand, he said so last thread...

    >Been on these threads for the past 2 days
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:33 No.18033024
    The "walk out the door, get on the floor" thing was terrifying because its part of a common troll ending. This is just a plain old cliffhanger.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:40 No.18033115
    That's what anon was getting at, man.
    >> Unknot your knickers anons. OP 02/20/12(Mon)20:42 No.18033130
    Okay, that was a bit of embelishment for dramatic purposes. I actually realized Smokie was in the store when I heard him yell at the cashier for selling him stale sunchips. He walked to the back of the store, sidling around JellyGM and Snively as they were getting out where the tables are and greeted us. I didn't expect him to be there. He asked what we were up to and Friend and I filled him in. "Fuck, you were playing his game? I thought I warned you." But he congratulated me on blowing up the GMPC.
    "Actually it was a great session until the end. I killed Snively and we crashed the space station into Eve."
    "Yeah. I was totally a jedi!" Victim added.
    "Fucking Eve." He swore but laughed. "I ended up there when I gave his game a try. Just walked out the moment I grew tits."
    He sat down where Pete was sitting and cracked open a Coke then unzipped his bad. "So he let you keep your sheets?"
    "I think he forgot. Dramatic exit and all."
    "Cool." He began to hand out blank GURPS sheets and tossed the characters book on the table. "I'll take over from here. So you're floating in space after blowing up the Alliance retard's flagship. Your field is good for what, half an hour? Better haul ass inside."
    And then we had a great gaming night.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:44 No.18033162
    Good End!
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:44 No.18033165
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:45 No.18033181

    Now where's that image of the character sheet?

    I kid, I kid. A bit.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:46 No.18033186

    Good stories don't have to be true.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:46 No.18033190
    like a fairy tale
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:46 No.18033192
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    That was...

    So... perfect.

    Cheers OP.
    >> mick824 02/20/12(Mon)20:47 No.18033195
    what a good story OP, but wasn't there supposed evidence to prove that the story was real?
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:47 No.18033204
    But they're better when they are
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:47 No.18033206
    >"Yeah. I was totally a jedi!" Victim added.

    So what did you guys do, lead a crusade against the Alliance of Bulgaria?
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:48 No.18033208
         File: 1329788883.jpg-(122 KB, 500x332, hunter-s.jpg)
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    Why do I picture Hunter S. Thompson in place of Smokie?
    >> MR. RAGE !D9l9S8Lio6 02/20/12(Mon)20:48 No.18033220
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:49 No.18033226
    Oh, totally. But still...
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:49 No.18033229
    >> That McGuyver 02/20/12(Mon)20:51 No.18033241
    Dammit. I was expecting a HUEHUEHUE end. Oh well, good story OP.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:51 No.18033245
    No that sounds about right.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)20:59 No.18033331
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    >that feel when Smokey was actually John Ravencloud and he saved you from eldritch horrors of Rapeworld VI.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)21:01 No.18033362
         File: 1329789702.jpg-(283 KB, 981x2675, JCR.jpg)
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    Well then thank God for John RavenCloud
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)21:02 No.18033376
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    And/or John CloudRaven
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)21:04 No.18033394
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    /tg/ storytime is fun.
    >> OP 02/20/12(Mon)21:07 No.18033430
    Let me get to my computer and you will have your pic. Smokey refuses to connect 'apple malware spy trash' to his machine and I don't have my cord anyway.
    >> SUPER AGGRO CRAG !!7x7KzlxQrrH 02/20/12(Mon)21:09 No.18033463
    reading up part 3 while OP posts this
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)21:22 No.18033645
    Where are the other parts?
    >> SUPER AGGRO CRAG !!7x7KzlxQrrH 02/20/12(Mon)21:23 No.18033658
    /tg/station archive
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 02/20/12(Mon)21:23 No.18033665
    He's done, actually.

    Bitchin'. You are a hell of a mensch.

    See >>18032481
    >> SUPER AGGRO CRAG !!7x7KzlxQrrH 02/20/12(Mon)21:24 No.18033670
    derp my bad, sup/tg/ archive
    >> mick824 02/20/12(Mon)21:28 No.18033742
    okiey dokey OP
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)21:29 No.18033755
    >/tg/station archive
    Oh boy, now I can re-read the time the librarian read Woody's Got Wood!
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)21:35 No.18033820
    The story is obviously fake, it becomes clear as you read part 3.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)21:42 No.18033930
    You're obviously a faggot, it becomes clear as you read your post.

    Seriously, we don't care. It's goddamn story-time. Where we tell stories.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)21:50 No.18034045
    Looks like the threads ran out of steam after the last one got deleted. Did no one started looking for continuation after last part died? I really hope they find this in the archives sometime.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)21:54 No.18034101
    Thank you Anon! The veil has finally been lifted! I can see clearly once again! I'm throwing out all my previously held beliefs and questioning the very fabric of reality!

    Seriously, who the fuck cares?
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)21:54 No.18034104
    your gm sounds like a prick but the system sounds fun, does it exist it digital format anywhere?
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)21:56 No.18034134

    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)21:56 No.18034136
    It's homebrew and they didn't really leave the gm on what I'd consider a positive note.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)22:12 No.18034403
    Strangely enough, this tale made me seek out and re-read the tale of Luke, Plagueson of Nurgle.

    I need alcohol again. And a good, long shower.
    >> SUPER AGGRO CRAG !!7x7KzlxQrrH 02/20/12(Mon)22:14 No.18034428
    ok see ya
    >> OP 02/20/12(Mon)22:17 No.18034478
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    Here ya go. Enjoy the resolution. Portrait is by Friend.

    Epilogue: We played all night until nearly 2am, having to pile into Smokey's car and give the pizza box towers infesting his house a visit. His roommate rolled up a character too.
    We exchanged contact info with Victim. She sent me a smiley face two hours ago.
    Dirk Falcon went on to adventure with his new friends. We left for less rape-infested waters of the Star Conglomeration where we were stranded on a desert planet and are now surviving native bugs swarms in a creepy as fuck abandoned research bunker. Good times were had. Next game is Friday.
    >> OP 02/20/12(Mon)22:19 No.18034514
    As for the system, it was a homebrew hack of something I've never heard of before. Everything he provided us with looked home made and printed, some parts riddled with typos. It was a very detailed system but I think GURPS does our characters more justice.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)22:19 No.18034525
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    Mad props for delivery.
    MAD, MAD props for delivery.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)22:19 No.18034526
    I have been here, as it unfolded, for this entire storytime
    and it was amazing

    not sure whatever happened to that 8gb recording, though
    >> SUPER AGGRO CRAG !!7x7KzlxQrrH 02/20/12(Mon)22:19 No.18034527
    told you guys it was real
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)22:20 No.18034540
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    Thank you very much for delivering, OP.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)22:21 No.18034550
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    My god... I had my doubts... but you delivered, OP.
    >> OP 02/20/12(Mon)22:21 No.18034554
    It's sitting on my phone. I am listening to it again and staring at Audacity. It will take a bit of editing since GM insisted on calling us by player name, at all times.

    >allbro fons
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)22:23 No.18034564
    OP confirmed for demigod of tabletop RPGs. Even if it was all bullshit, damn was it entertaining.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)22:23 No.18034573
    Ah, it doesn't matter at this point. A good time was had by all (well for us, OP was probably wishing he had 12 litres of hard vodka nearby). And if it's not real, and the OP made that character sheet up on the spot (not actually saying you are, OP, but doubters gonna doubt), sometimes the best stories are the ones that come across as real.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)22:24 No.18034585
    And I scream to the heavens:



    This is how you That Guy a That GM. By hero-ing the fuck up.

    >edtheyo developing

    What's that, Captcha? Dirk Falcon is needed? A situation is developing on Edtheyo? Onwards!
    >> mick824 02/20/12(Mon)22:25 No.18034590
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    thank you for the evidence OP
    >> ChrowX !!eo4aiy7L/b7 02/20/12(Mon)22:25 No.18034595
    There is both great evil and great good in this world...

    Like many others have said, this could have been an amazing campaign if it were played the right way by a GM who wasn't going to go home and fap to his session notes.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)22:26 No.18034605
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    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)22:28 No.18034639
    What, does he call you by first and last name? Us knowing you're first name isn't too bad, no is it?
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)22:31 No.18034680
    You can shave off some time by skipping the GM's name, since you already called him Pete earlier.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)22:32 No.18034695
    Maybe he hates his first name.

    Maybe it's something stupid, like Roach.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)22:32 No.18034706
         File: 1329795170.jpg-(94 KB, 1280x720, Rubberfruit.jpg)
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    And so concludes one of the, if not the, greatest storytimes /tg/ has ever known
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)22:42 No.18034850
    What kind of name is Soap? How'd a muppet like you pass selection?
    >> OP 02/20/12(Mon)22:53 No.18035024
    Fucking around with the file now. Any questions or suggestions? We ditched Pete so now I don't have to be That Guy. I don't think I was a good That Guy.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)22:55 No.18035051
    You got the DM to ragequit his game. You were the That Guy your party deserved.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)23:00 No.18035144
    Just...go forth and have fun. Let us know if awesome shit happens, though.
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)23:03 No.18035197
    You were the That Guy the game deserved, not the That Guy the game wanted.
    >> mick824 02/20/12(Mon)23:06 No.18035248
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    just have fun OP
    >> Anonymous 02/20/12(Mon)23:11 No.18035333
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    i think Dirk Falcon is a pretty cool guy. eh shoots tentacles and doesnt afraid of anything

    Keep playing him! Now that the OOC BBEG is gone, there's a whole universe to explore with your cute Jedi gf at your side and your space lawyer friend to back you up! Nothing can stand in the way of the space hero, Dirk Falcon!
    >> Anonymous 02/21/12(Tue)00:05 No.18036082
    Can someone screenshot this story? It was hard to follow since it's smeared across a dozen threads.

    Until then captcha and I will stituurl continually.
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 02/21/12(Tue)00:08 No.18036122
    You were only "That Guy" in comparison the That /d/M. In reality, Pete, assuming he's the /d/M, and fishlips were Those Guys.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/12(Tue)03:47 No.18038207
    You were That Guy to a That Guy and That DM. Now it is time to claim your prize, lay back, and have fun.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/12(Tue)06:50 No.18039169
    Another anon who ahs been here from thread one.
    Tears sprang to my eyes as I looked at the character sheet. OP, you are a legend.

    We need a 1d4chan page for this story.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/12(Tue)07:00 No.18039237
    Personally, I wouldn't want 4chan knowing even my favorite color, let alone my name. Not that /tg/ is bad, just... /b/ is fucking everywhere.

    Yes, I paranoid.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/12(Tue)07:12 No.18039308
    did OP ever post the audio file?

    If not this entire string of threads has been a mildly entertaining yet completely false woven tale of fancy.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/12(Tue)07:14 No.18039326
    My name is Eric Weber. I live in Minot, North Dakota. I am 22 and work at the Super 8

    Don't be a pansy. The living fuck do you think we could do with your FIRST NAME?!
    >> Anonymous 02/21/12(Tue)08:03 No.18039664
    My god, it actually happened.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/12(Tue)08:06 No.18039683
    lol Minot, what a shithole.

    At least move to someplace nicer. Like Mandan.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/12(Tue)08:27 No.18039818
    Eric, I want to look up your phone number to tell you that you're a brave man, but I'm more paranoid than OP.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/12(Tue)13:15 No.18041786
    Still no audio file op?

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