This confuses, infuriates and arouses me

>"Ah, I seem to have misplace my character record. Do not trouble yourself, I have the numerical values memorized. Truly, they are as good as I purport them to be."

>"I say, we've spent nearly ten whole minutes of this hour conversing with this nobleman and his guards. I don't quite like the looks of them, although I must confess they seem entirely civil and you are all enjoying yourselves. Regardless, I'm going to attack him, for the sake of adding a flare of excitement to the evening."

If a That Guy in a group of mine talked like this I would allow his antics to pass without retribution. This is entertaining.

This is the most gayest thing ever said in the most gentlemanly way ever

>"The woman is tied up, and the vagabonds have all been dispatched, then? Before we set her free I would implore my peers at this table to give serious thought to forcing ourselves upon her."
>"Do not give me such a look, it is merely what my character would do, sir."

>"Damn and blast your coasters, I'll have no part in that arrogance."

>I say, old chap, I say! My rapine and pillaging of that Drow household was all under the auspices of Lawful Good as the Drow themselves are heinous creatures and that torturous woman no doubt found pleasure in my ravishing of her and her mother over the falen body of her father! The tortures I inflicted on them should be smiled upon by my fine deity!

The difference here is that That Gentleman wouldn't be calling the whole table a bunch of fags for not letting him do his ridiculous shit. Politeness makes most of these examples acceptable.

That Fuckin Gentleman....

Hearty approval my good man! Carry on!

Operation: Play D&D in a Terrible Scottish Accent is go.

Do you expect me to talk, BBEG?
No, Mr. Adventurer, I expect you to die.

>>18312096

They really don't.

>"Oh, and I seem to have forgotten my pocketbook, had I known I'd left it at my abode I would certainly have brought some snacks or beverages for you fellows. Spot me, if you'd be so kind, and I'll return the favor next time. Which reminds me, next time I will be two hours late."

with the exception of that one, which I would accept as a gentlemanly apology and fair forewarning of his future absence.

>"I say, though you have clearly spent a great deal of time on this rather riveting tale, I feel as though you are, in fact, limiting my options as a player in this game. Though none agree with me and you have stated numerous times I am free to do as I please, I feel it necessary to test the limits of that offer. I'll drop my trousers and urinate on the King. Any of his knights that attempt to stop me from doing so or pull me away, I will spit upon and bark at."

Wait, this thread confuses me.
Doesn't everyone speak like this during the gathering?

>"Pardon me, sir, though I am entirely new to this edition and you have spent more years than I have even lived playing it and mastering the rules, I must insist that my character COULD in fact do that. That you are able to point to a page where it specifies I can not do so is merely a contrivance on your part."

>>18312089
>>18312089
I remeber this thread I lol'd most hardily.

How ghastly.

>I beg your pardon my good sir, but surely my Autarch possesses another score of attacks! I recall it most vividly!

>The very idea that we would create characters without concern for their rectal cavity urges me to guffaw most heartily!

>"But why would we use this system when my obscure and poorly written system is far superior?"

>"I beg your pardon, sir, but you have erred in your interpretation of the rules. That ogre could not possibly have broken through that stone wall to ambush us, as I shall now demonstrate by referencing aloud the ogre's strength score, the hardness and hit points of a constructed stone wall, and the difficulty class of breaking said wall."
>"...Therefore, it is simply impossible for an ogre to do what was just done, and I strongly exhort you to retroactively correct this scene in light of that. There are rules for a reason, old chap, and if we simply deviate from them willy-nilly then this magical tea party of ours will be rendered most dubious indeed. Please correct this oversight or I shall be very put out."

I didn't realise Raffles the Gentleman Thug was a fa/tg/uy.

>TG: And that is why, dear Peter, I set about raping your mortal family to death whilst wearing a jester's accoutrements.
>Peter: You scoundrel! I demand satisfaction this instant for your crimes and dishonors against myself and mine! *Draws sword*
>TG: *Observes Peter's high score with a rapier* I say Peter, you shan't be upset with me, I merely did that which a Malkavian would do!

>>18312144
>"I must confess, dear sirs, that tinkering and fiddling with the mechanics of character creation is for myself a most joyous occasion. To that end, therefore, I have conspired to come up with a ripping old powerhouse of a PC, what ho! Coming sharply to my point in this instance, kindly save or take MCCCLXVIII points of damage - sona si Latine loqueris, and all that.

>Theft from my fellow party members is most certainly a requirement, I am a Halfling Rogue!

>>18312077
>Damn you, this is the fourth maiden you have urged us to violate! I shall have none of it!

>I fail to see why all of you are so incensed by my choice of racial background. I find kender to be positively charming and delightful, and if you disagree, then it is simply your own shortcomings as a role-player, you minimum-maximum power-gameplayer!

Somebody archive this.

>Bolly, how could you allow this ruffian to upstage my magnificence? As I am not the current focus of the current plotline, I shall perforce be required to flay the skin from the king's back and wear it while dancing around the throne room, singing. That should remind these scallywags who they should be keeping an eye on.

>Well please excuse me if you find my actions objectionable. I am simply acting as my character would act, playing a role in the truest sense! The rest of you seem to be simply exploitative munchkins, playing with no sense of story or 'character.'

>"Pardon me, my good man, but there seems to be some sort of error. While examining the list of available races in this document I was unable to find one that would suit the character which I had intended to play. It would seem, and with a bit of disguising could perhaps pass as, a man, but in actuality has the ears and tail of a wolf, in addition to fangs and a most feral attitude and demeanor."
>"No, I do not wish to play a lycanthrope of any sort, I want to play my fursonage."

>>18312533

I actually got a little upset reading that, it's almost better when someone says something like that the normal (see: retarded) way.

>>18312633
I suppose I could accept this, though before I decide I must inquire as to the girth of my character's penis.

>I say, the fact that good sir Stewart's character here neglected to share this information with me gives my hearty fellow more than enough reason to instigate a grievous attack without warning! Stand and deliver, blackguard!

>>18312533
>Could you perhaps settle for playing a human with various oddities that invoke a wolf-like demeanor? For instance, your character could be akin to the wise wolf, a character that embodies the traits you explicitly listed, though she lacks those additional you implied. I do not think your initial request would be conducive to the sort of comradery and fellowship I seek to create in this chronicle, nor do I find it likely our fellows would disagree with my opinion.

>I beseech you to accept my suggestion. Behold! Is she not a playful deity? Surely her carefree nature is appealing to you.

>>18312655
>Penis? My good sir, we shan't be playing a game of such promiscuity! If such a situation in which pursuits of this nature arise, then so be it, but until then I beg you to keep the proper amount of civility!

I am absolutely and certainly positive that this is what my character wants to do! Under no circumstances would my character not attempt to steal that item from the shopkeeper, he desires it greatly!

>roll a 4

My character would not do it, after all, I have changed my mind, he does not try to use his sleight of hand.

>I say, could you repeat that all that you just said? I am afraid I was distracted due to my preoccupation with cats that speak in grammatical errors.

>>18312688
>"I can assure you sir that several situations are apt to arise that will make the girth of my character's penis a critical bit of information to have recorded."

>>18312677
>I accept your generous offer, good sir.

>>18312692
Time and time again you must ask for our aid in discovering what has just transpired! My good sir, if I knew not more of yourself and your mannerisms, I would come to think that our cooperative story did not interest you! Please, in the future, I ask that you attempt to pay more attention so that this situation does not again occur. The blacksmith hath just handed to you a sword of fine make that he claims is magical.

>>18312707
>Then we shall cross that bridge when we get to it! Until then, I request you keep so gross and unrefined a field as "Penis Girth" off your character's record!

>>18312728
>"That is it! That is the last insult I shall suffer this evening. I must calmly and politely ask you to vacate my mother's residence."

>>18312755
>Insult! You are most unreasonable! If it has truly come to this, so be it, but I must say that entertaining your more vile hobbies in front of so many others would be a descent into the greatest and darkest of vices. I refuse to take part in it. You do not wish to be a part of our collaboration? So be it. We shall take our enjoyment elsewhere.

>>18312719

>..... Pray tell, who was this blacksmith again?

>>18312806
>The man we have sought out for some time as we have heard rumors of his prowess at constructing fine blades! Theodore, how is it that you have managed to forget so important a fellow? More rash fellows would be insulted at this news!

>I say, this delightful photograph I have discovered upon my thinking machine is uproariously hilarious. So much, in fact, that I deign it necessary to interrupt the game to show it to all of the other partakers.
>No, I will not put up my turing device, foul plebian. I require it for my writable format character record and haven't the foggiest as to why you consider it a distraction.

>>18312819

>I do not see why this is such a big deal, my fine fellow... I personally do not remember you saying anything along the lines of a man skilled in the art of making fine blades and-
>DING A LING LING. DING A LING LING.
>Ah! It seems that I have an incoming call on my cellular device that I must take. I would hope that you would understand and allow me the time to answer this fine fellow calling me, holding off on all action until such time that the conversation is over.

This thread is good for letting me know what I would tolerate at the table if the other guy is actually polite about it.

>>18312874
>ding a ling
>not toot toot
YOU ARE NO GENTLEMAN.

>This thread

>"I do apologise, I seem to have mislaid my character sheet again, despite having three copies. Could you do me the honour of printing me another?"

>"ah, it appears I've gone and rolled my bone off the table. Allow me to retrieve it."

>"Well, what favorable heavens! a 20 of natural orientation!"

>"No, I shan't test my luck a second time, thank you. My 20 will suffice. Surely you are not calling my honesty into question, sir?

>>18312677
I believe I could work with this.

rolled 4, 7, 5, 4, 2, 5, 8, 8, 6, 3, 4, 7, 6, 5, 8, 4, 6, 7, 8, 10 = 117

> "Well chaps I believe that my status as a scruffy hooligan allows me to partake in carnal relations with those I deem worthy to be residing by my side in place of my brandy. I shall attempt to fornicate with the dapper gentlewoman of our Lord's order of warriors by means of attaining at least half-a-dozen on a pre-defined quantity of a score of these decahedrons. As you can see I have attained the prerequisite to bed this aphrodite but as I am playing one of chimney-sweeping years I am certain that the rules call for her to call her outlook on the world into question and roll her own decahedrons.

>>18315928
My lord.

>>18316155
I expected /tg/ to be better on the verbose thing really.

>I understand the culturally and sociologically Western limitations of your gameworld, but I have prior decided to take the guise of a magical assassin of oriental persuasion, and so such a rogue shall I be.

>"I say, this fictional religion whose members you are showing in a rather less than favourable light seems to bear a marked resemblance to the Church of England."
>"I assume the gentleman games-master, being a scurrilous Nonconformist, is insulting my religion."
>"Enough of this tomfoolery! Pistols at dawn, sir."