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  • File: 1331706680.jpg-(269 KB, 1024x768, dark-lord[1].jpg)
    269 KB Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)02:31 No.18320539  
    You know what? I'm tired of all this bitching about our new Overlord. I don't get it, either.

    I mean, he said he was going to unite the scattered kingdoms, and he did. There's no question that we're stronger and more militarily secure than we ever were under the Queen. Fat lot of good she ever did us. I'm telling you, all of this talk of rebellion and taking up arms against him in her name is just stirred up by those fatcat nobles he dispossessed, hoping to grab their lands and influence back. They don't give a damn about the legions of common folk who get slaughtered by his magic in the process.

    His war against the Elves? It's not as if the Elves were buying anything from us, anyway, or had anything but contempt for common businessmen like you and me. I hear he's Half-Elf, too, so no wonder he wants revenge on the bastards, you know how they treat their halfblood young. War's doing a lot for my business, the forges haven't been worked this hard in my lifetime, and all of the commissions for fancy black plate with skull visors keeps my coffers full.

    Speaking of which, "Oh no, he's scary! He wears a lot of black and spikes!" Yeah, and that's fucking great for us, too! Nobody wants to fuck with us now, the Caliphate is staying well clear of our borders for the first time in generations. You want your defenders to look like they can rip a dozen assholes through anyone who even looks at us crosswise.

    Bringing in the Orcs was a great move, too, that's an entirely untapped market eager for more goods. You know why they kept raiding? Because their lives were shit until he came along, and now look at them. Proper steel axes, real clothing, houses for their wives and all those kids they have. We're all making a killing, because he pays them a decent wage and a pension, and they have to spend it somewhere. Everybody wins.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)02:35 No.18320573
    This man has my support
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)02:36 No.18320581
    So lawful Evil done right?
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)02:41 No.18320611
    I say, this fellow sounds like a top-notch ruler.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)02:46 No.18320646
    >>18320581, >Lawful Evil
    You know what? I'm tired of all this bitching about our new <American Revolution>. I don't get it, either.

    I mean, he said he was going to unite the scattered <colonies>, and he did. There's no question that we're stronger and more militarily secure than we ever were under the Queen. Fat lot of good she ever did us. I'm telling you, all of this talk of rebellion and taking up arms against him in her name is just stirred up by those fatcat nobles he dispossessed, hoping to grab their lands and influence back. They don't give a damn about the legions of common folk who get slaughtered by his magic in the process.

    His war against the <Native Americans>? It's not as if the <Natives> were buying anything from us, anyway, or had anything but contempt for common businessmen like you and me. I hear he's Half-<Native>, too, so no wonder he wants revenge on the bastards, you know how they treat their halfblood young. War's doing a lot for my business, the forges haven't been worked this hard in my lifetime, and all of the commissions for fancy black plate with skull visors keeps my coffers full.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)02:46 No.18320647
    Aye, the taxes are steep, but fair, and the collectors are on time and collect only their due! He's got a damn good business sense under that black steel skull-shaped helm of his.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)02:46 No.18320649

    Speaking of which, "Oh no, he's scary! He wears a lot of black and spikes!" Yeah, and that's fucking great for us, too! Nobody wants to fuck with us now, the <Mexicans> is staying well clear of our borders for the first time in generations. You want your defenders to look like they can rip a dozen assholes through anyone who even looks at us crosswise.

    Bringing in the <Louisiana Purchase> was a great move, too, that's an entirely untapped market eager for more goods. You know why they kept <fur traiding>? Because their lives were shit until he came along, and now look at them. Proper steel axes, real clothing, houses for their wives and all those kids they have. We're all making a killing, because he pays them a decent wage and a pension, and they have to spend it somewhere. Everybody wins.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)02:48 No.18320660
         File: 1331707692.gif-(36 KB, 670x820, knights-105[1].gif)
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    Under the old royalty in my province, if the Drow ambassador spoke contemptuously about our species, they'd have excused it with a bunch of pussytalk and whining about "their culture being different" and let them take what they wanted. Our new lord caught her trying to fondle one of his concubines, and had one of his Dread Generals...that big undead one, the one with the hammer? Yeah, he had him drag her by her hair up to the parapets, informed her that her conduct was unbecoming an ally, and chucked her into the spikemoat. What are the drow going to do, anyway? Ally with the Elves? They've got not a single species left that wants to be their friend.

    Fucking glorious, I hated being a herald until I saw it. And do you know how much more fun it is announcing somebody interesting rather than "Archduke Pompous Fatass the IX" and watching them strut their obese behind along the carpet as if they'd ever done anything that mattered?
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)02:50 No.18320674
    >American revolution
    >black plate with skull visors

    Oh, I can only dream...
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)02:52 No.18320691
         File: 1331707949.jpg-(96 KB, 964x1000, Antipaladin.jpg)
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    And I'll say this, being a guard has never been better. There is some real damn discipline in the troops, and with the ongoing conflicts around our borders, the boys are getting real experience! And shit, he let some of the rougher women of the north and orc tribes in. With the new armor specs for all infantry regiments, any body that can trudge with 60 lbs of deadweight on their back for 12 hours a day gets a job. Freakin' glorious!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:03 No.18320772
         File: 1331708626.jpg-(394 KB, 713x925, elvish_rider_by_Werdandi[1].jpg)
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    You are all monsters. How can you sit by and count coins so callously when my people are dying? Truly, the race of men is a race of shortsighted fools! I have braved fire and steel, seen ancient trees that had witnessed thousands of years cut down...and for what? To feed the fires of his smiths? To be twisted into stone-throwers? His ambition will not come without cost, the land itself groans under his feet, and yet the merest golden glint is enough make you turn your eyes away from the wholesale slaughter of brave, elvish troops...many of whom counted your once-nations as friends!

    I see how it is. Truly chains are clung to eagerly when they are spun of gold and promises! Are there none whose hearts remain true?!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:11 No.18320836
         File: 1331709100.jpg-(13 KB, 280x280, Medieval_Morons.jpg)
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    I don't know about you fancy house-dwelling folk, but life in the filthy stinking ditches of this kingdom is better than ever. The nobles don't spit on us no more and I haven't been kicked for weeks now. I hear they'll even feed us if we set stones for fortifications, and they'll even bury us in the walls if we die! It's like a golden age for us squalid gutter-folk.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:13 No.18320848
    You aren't being repressed?
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:14 No.18320853
    Oh? And who are you to speak of Gold and Promises, ELF!

    When the famines took my first and second born, where were you? When the floods destroyed our fields, who offered to repair the dams for free? Oh, that's right- not a soul. Nor would you part with your trees to repair the damage- to try and save ourselves from starvation and ruin! Gold has built us a dam, your pointy eared cur! Gold has fed my surviving daughters you royalist slag! GOLD has sheltered me from the storm, brought medicine to my wife, and given my brother armor that does not crack and rust! GOLD has been there for us when we needed a savior, while you watched generations of us perish from your immortal perch!

    Leave these lands you pureblooded inbred mongrel. Before I have the town guards seize you for espionage!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:17 No.18320884
    What if we gave you some casino's in exchange for the land we took?
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:21 No.18320913
    I must say things have been picking up. He finally made healing magic accessible to the common man! Before the clergy and healers would charge a maddening amount for any decent magical healing!
    But under our new lord my wife's eyes have been healed and she has gone from an invalid to running a warehouse full of looms. That has freed me up to join our new lords army and become a man my children can look up to! Not to mention Ill be getting a patch of land to retire on and i even had enough spare gold to reserve a burial mound in the north in the land of my ancestors! May even become an undead warrior if I get cut down in battle. Soul leaves the body after death so if thats the case I would rather fight to protect my comrade and family. Under the Queen I would still be a farmer, supporting my bind wife and being dumped in the sewers when I died! Hell now that I got her pregnant I dont even want to think of what it would take to support them both under the old ways.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:21 No.18320915
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    Excellent attitude! Keep this up and I can guarantee that you won't accidentally be caught up in any government sweeps.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:21 No.18320917
    No more than usual.
    And it's not like there's any long term disadvantages.

    At this rate I'll probably live to the ripe old age of 30!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:23 No.18320932
         File: 1331709822.jpg-(81 KB, 567x401, child-labor2.jpg)
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    Under the new overlord, unemployment among minors has plummeted!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:23 No.18320935
    >soul leaves the body after death

    Yeah, not if a necromancer has anything to say about that. But I am not surprised your liege has not seen fit to educate his population on the nuances of the process.

    Seriously, if you could animate bones with clean, impersonal energy, you'd be better off animating a statue or a suit of armour or something. But no, necromancy runs on souls and bones. Souls. And bones.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:26 No.18320951
    Well good for you!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:27 No.18320963
    well, as long as i still get paid.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:28 No.18320974
    Who said it had to be my soul? It could be the soul of some bloody elf I disemboweled! But the body wont last forever. It will rot and decompose regardless. Then again I dont plan on being killed by some pansy ass elf!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:29 No.18320982

    Pathetic propaganda. The men who're raised again all knew they would be, it was part of the contract they took to join the army. A second chance to gain fame and honor for their families, to serve and defend their countrymen and way of life! They're even still paid, the money goes to the family.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:35 No.18321023
         File: 1331710558.jpg-(91 KB, 850x573, Adorable Orphans.jpg)
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    I can't say I agree more! Life as an orphan under this regime isn't nearly half as bad as it was under Her Majesty.

    It used to be that we had to spend all day mopping up the floors to the Churches, hoping that none of us caught the attention of Father Allyk. He... used to do bad things if he "liked" us... and then when he was done he made us sleep in the church's rafters with all the rats. That was better than being on the streets, though...

    But now... now our wonderful Overload takes care of us instead! Well, not him personally, but he was the one who made the state run orphanages. Now we have warm beds, hot foods, pretty new uniforms... and no priests doing bad things either! Plus - plus! - we get to go to school! I even got to learn magic with my best friends - and not that just the types of magic that the queen allowed, but all types! I learned how to enslave the soul of a demon to use for the greater good just the other day!

    Sure, we have to go work as his battle mages for four years once we've finished school - but that's an honor, not a price! I can proudly say that the three of us just got assigned to the elven front.

    I can't wait to torch those bastards. Ma, Pa, if you're watching me up there - this one's for you.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:38 No.18321038
    The easiest thing about setting up an iron-fisted dictatorship in a typical fantasy land is that it'd STILL be better for the people than what they've got now.

    Hitler would be a fucking savior.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:39 No.18321055
    Dear overlord,
    If you will it so please have someone screen cap this beautiful work.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:40 No.18321057
    Hey, Hitler wasn't THAT bad.
    after all, he did kill Hitler
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:40 No.18321058

    Why didn't I think of this before.
    I am actually going to be playing my first session of DnD soon as a Lawful Evil wizard.
    I now have a fucking goal.
    Be like the Original Poster.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:42 No.18321069


    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:44 No.18321090
    Almost sounds like "The Legend of the Legendary Heroes"
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:45 No.18321096
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    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:46 No.18321099

    This is more or less what Hitler thought, yeah. He had some delightfully fantasy-ish notions about things.

    The problem is, there's really no guarantee he wouldn't have screwed it up anyway in a fantasy setting. In before the kingdom is without allies and is surrounded by non-human races and evil religions which have been motivated to set aside old rivalries in the face of the threat of extinction.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:46 No.18321101
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    Now i really want to see Pro-Overlord propaganda posters.

    If you were allowed to vote,
    You'd vote for him!

    Ending unemployment among children
    for 5 years running!

    Love me
    or we will fucking kill you!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:47 No.18321110
         File: 1331711256.jpg-(100 KB, 466x830, old_wizard[1].jpg)
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    Haven't you studied any magic at all? Animating bones is easy because they contain the lingering magical patterns from when they were alive. To put it in layman's terms, the bones remember being able to move and support themselves, thus they do. Certain classes of undead certainly keep a more...intact...imprint, one that extends to more of the mind, giving them intelligence and occasionally personality, but the soul is gone from all but the highest and most fell of undead beings.

    Really, the soul being present or damaged is more an exception than a rule.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:48 No.18321117
    In the grim darkness of the new regime, there is only prosperity, hope, and joy.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:48 No.18321120

    Won't it still be more efficient to use dolls and mannequins?

    If we accept your state-sponsored studies, that is.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:51 No.18321139
         File: 1331711488.jpg-(99 KB, 530x800, Orphan-tan.jpg)
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    I remember you! You were my first raise - the one the instructors walked us through... What's it like, being all undead?


    Wanna go kill some elves in the Overlord's name?
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:52 No.18321149
    Lacking an 'imprint' of life, unfortunately, makes that difficult in comparison to raising a skeleton or a zombie. If you can find an economical and power-conserving manner to animate a mannequin, however, please let us know! Anything to help keep our boys out of the worst of the fire is for the better, and having animated mannequins to perform tasks such as sapping or screening soldiers' advance is a great use for expendable creations like that.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:54 No.18321163
         File: 1331711649.jpg-(49 KB, 300x299, Glorious Exposition Comrade.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:54 No.18321168

    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:56 No.18321186
    Archived for make rememberence of glorious propaganda machine.

    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:56 No.18321188
    Overlord, FUCK YEAH.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:56 No.18321190
         File: 1331711819.jpg-(185 KB, 800x1200, 1328851614768.jpg)
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    Infantryman here.

    I don't see any fucking difference. The hours are long, our enemies are still shooting things at me, I still get paid nothing, the officers get all of the credit for doing none of the fighting, and the shiny new "armor" they gave us is so terrible it doesn't even stop arrows.

    I'm all for my evil overlord, I even fought to put the guy in power, but don't kid yourselves. Things for your soldiers suck just as much as they did before. The difference is that now nobody likes us and they refuse to take prisoners. The only good thing is that all of our dead just get raised into skeletal troops anyway so none of my friends actually -stay- dead.

    Listen if you want to make a real difference talk to the merchants. Get us some real armor, not this munitions grade quality bullshit that is more of a harm than a help. I might as well be naked for all the good it does against the Elves.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:58 No.18321194
    >Worried about famine and flooding
    >Chop down all the trees
    Enjoy your dustbowl.

    Finally, someone willing to take a tough stance on diplomats. Although really, I'm disappointed about this whole concubine business. The Dark Lord should promote vocational training and capital grants or development loans to young women, not encourage their families to tart them up so they get dowries.

    Quite likely because you'd have to make them automata first to imprint the essense of coordinated movement onto them, and even then it'd end up with a restricted set of jerky movements.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:58 No.18321195
    I musssst sssay, it is far eassier to livve under the Overlord than the bitchqueen. He doess not hunt uss for exissting, doess not make sssslavess of those captured, doess not treat us like a sore, give peacse only when forgotten. Noo, he givess uss ssteel, givess us coinss of metal and food, givess us true rule of our sswamp home, just in return for sslaying our old enemiess, the filthy long earsss.

    He iss a good human to neighbor...
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)03:59 No.18321212
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:02 No.18321226
         File: 1331712141.jpg-(349 KB, 980x712, 1326062560695.jpg)
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    sorry to hear that your having such a tough time. Tell ya what, I've scheduled you to meet with Human Resources later today.

    hopefully they can find a position more suited to you.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:02 No.18321228
         File: 1331712169.jpg-(382 KB, 800x878, 1324539831539.jpg)
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    Officer here

    Ignore that last soldier complaining. She's been disciplined accordingly. The Orc troops are happy with their new toy and I have one less dissenter. Go about your business, citizens. Overlord protects.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:04 No.18321235

    Light infantry?

    the stuff we got issued in the heavy infantry is beyond great. damn elves could use harsh language instead of arrows, for all the good it does them.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:04 No.18321237

    Several kingdoms, actually, he unified them. Remember?

    As for the country's religious needs, a power vacuum will eventually be filled. Either the priests will stay and minister to the people, or they will leave, losing the people's trust, and be replaced by their competitors.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:05 No.18321242

    Arrows against plate is always a bad prospect. Poor forest-huggers.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:05 No.18321245
    I don't believe that our new Overlord should be called that. Sounds too nasty for what he's done for us.

    I mean, before, the only thing my daughters had to look forward to under the Queen was being taken by some fatass noble's son or married off to another family with a dowry that I gotta pay for!

    But now? They go to school! SCHOOL! Their parents haven't ever been to one.

    And just today Becky, my littlest one, tells me that she's gonna be a healer! Before the Overlord came, that wasn't even a dream for us!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:06 No.18321254
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    I'm currently stationed on the northern front. This is the furthest I've ever been away from home, but with the new roads our Overlord had built, getting around the nation is fast and easy. Same can't be said about the climate here-- fighting's rough and the weather's miserable, but logistics are good enough that we're well-supplied and warm even in the middle of winter. And better yet, he let me-- a dark elf-- join the army, when under the Queen my people were either spat on or treated as second-class citizens when the elves weren't killing us for existing. I love our Overlord.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:06 No.18321257

    No, those dolls were never alive. It's certainly possible to animate them, but it's inefficient and far less effective. There's a reason why elemental spirits are bound to produce golems, you know.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:07 No.18321258
    I thought that way too. We all imagine we're indistructible, or we'll die quickly and gloriously. I lost my leg to feces smeared caltrops, and thanks to the Overlord's veteran pension and invalid scheme I can live a decent life while waiting for that Regenerate spell, instead of becoming a begger. Plus, you just wait until the war's over. He's actually got a deal to pay for apprentice's papers for anyone who's demobilised, instead of just having the marshall tell everyone to fuck off back home.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:07 No.18321260

    I hardly feel bad for them. back when the queen was in power, they used to just call us targets.

    they might still call us that, i guess, but it's awful hard to hear it when you've got a steel boot planted on their neck.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:08 No.18321268
    Thog like Overlord.

    Miss Pretty Queeny put Thog dungeon for breaking Thog-friends out dungeon. Thog not see what wrong. Thog-friends simply "Resource Redistribution Management," but some reason Queeny send them to die. So Thog did what Thog had to, and save them from death-axe. Thog get ouchies from guard-sword, and had to 12 years dungeon.

    But the Overlord came, and Thog life improve! Thog get shiny new axe, and magic armor leather, as well as Thog-freedom. All Thog do in return is make puny elves dead, which is what Thog like to do. And get paid shinies, for doing good job!

    Thog LOVE Overlord-land!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:08 No.18321272
    Sscale workss better...

    But not asss well as cutting their throatss before they ssee you, hanging the bodies from the treess without their eyess, and drowning the retaliatory party in the mud.

    The sspearss the Overlord gave uss work ssso well, far better than bone.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:09 No.18321280
    as a half elf i fully support this new overlord his armys have saved so many of us already and most of us are enlisting to become soldiers in his army to free the rest of our brethren.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:10 No.18321287
    you know, I think the overlord's doctors can help you with that lisp
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:10 No.18321292
    The idea of the Overlord housing the orphans and raising them to be a new army, loyal to him, but still having a good life, is just awesome.

    I'm totally seeing the appeal of the Hitler Youth.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:12 No.18321298
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    Light Infantry? More like Meatshield. All we do is screen your advance and guard the flanks. You know what usually attacks those flanks?

    Fucking. Cavalry. Have you ever been charged at by Elves riding Sabertooth Bears? No. Of course not. You're heavy infantry. You get to fight against other infantry. I get to fight against FUCKING SABERTOOTH BEARS. Join the Light Infantry! They said! See the world they said!

    What do I get? A shitty mail coat, some javelins, a small round shield, and a sword. They never trained us how to use fucking swords! II had to learn on my own BY KILLING SABERTOOTH BEARS.

    This is my officer. Isn't she pretty? She's not in line with us. She gets to sit at the rear and watch through her magoscopes.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:12 No.18321299
    You know, I'd be a lot more willing to believe your implication that our Overlord is a tyrant and Orcs are monstrous savages if you weren't hiding your ears.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:12 No.18321302
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    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:13 No.18321310
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    Overlords can be very effective sometimes, especially with good PR.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:14 No.18321315
    So, I'm a farmer. Son of a farmer who was the son of a farmer and so on. I never heard about this Overlord until way after he took power and some of his officials came by the village. Weird thing is, he didn't have goons extort us for money like the old lord did-- he actually taught us something about 'crop rotations' and 'harvesting and planting principles' and 'soil management' and a bunch of other words I can't remember. But I tried their advice and now my harvests are huge! I've got more than enough to eat, and I can actually sell what else I've got, especially to the local army depot. My daughter's off to something called 'school' and my sons are actually fed and healthy for the first in their lives.

    Never thought I'd say it, but here as I'm standing on the porch of my new house-- it's actually got wood panels and a real door and actual GLASS WINDOWS!-- I'm really grateful for the old nob.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:15 No.18321322

    I'd heard you guys were all being converted over to cavalry anyway? Rumors around our post said that they were going to have auxiliary units take over the flanks and use you guys as raiders.

    and hey, sabertooth bears are bad, yeah, but those blade dancers or sword singers or whatever the hell they call 'em ain't a picnic, improved armor or no.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:16 No.18321326
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    *Pulls off hat, revealing elf ears*

    Watch yourselves, citizens! These elves are wise to the ways of social manipulation - they would have you believe that we would treat the oft heard cries of mild discontent from our LOYAL soldiers as if they were treason!

    Soldiers of the front, we hear your askance for better equipment and reinforcement! The forges now burn bright with the very fires of hell, our artificers preparing to smith for you armor enhanced with the next generation magic protections!

    As for you, she-elf, I believe you well described yourself the punishment for ESPIONAGE.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:16 No.18321327
    Human, killing the boarss iss eassy, jusst dig trenchess, line them with your javelinss, and lure the boarss, dumb beassts that they are, acrosss the pitss by enraging them, they practicably impale themsselves. Then you jusst need to ssslaughter the long eared sscum,
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:17 No.18321331
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    It's like my friend, the Lich always says,

    "In order to do great evil, you got to do a little good."
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:18 No.18321341
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    That's pretty shitty. I don't know which officer that is, but give the name and I'll come and sort her out. Light infantry are usually the least well-trained and equipped, yes, but it's just wasteful to throw men's lives away like that. Almost completely uncharacteristic of this army, which is more concerned with efficiency and effectiveness.

    Assuming you're not spreading misinformation about our Overlord, give me the name and your posting and I'll deal with it.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:19 No.18321347
    Ah, wait, you are having trouble with the BEARSS. They, you must enrage with ssharp sspearss (again, javelinss are perfect), and then lure into proper deeep pitss. If you cannot dig them deep enough, then you musst disstract them with prey, while you kill the riderss.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:21 No.18321359
    >like 008's story of waking up in fantasy land
    >fuck this shit, getting my Reich on
    >become the Overlord
    >keep trying to scheme ways to stay in power
    >"And this way no matter WHO they vote for, I WIN!"
    >"Sir, they don't actually vote. This is a dictatorship"
    >"dammit. Ok, well how about this misinformation campaign?"
    >"It's actually an INformation campaign. Turns out that the enemy really DOES do that stuff."
    >"For fucks sake, why can't I be an evil overlord?"
    >"Because you're too good at being a good overlord, sir."
    >"Can I nail you on the desk?"
    >"No sir, only evil overlords do that."
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:21 No.18321360
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    Honey, I'm a captain in the Wyvern Rider corps, and I've never been happier. I was a shitslogging squire back in the day, working for some porky knight whose only virtue was being too much of a coward to put our collective asses in danger. After the Overlord took over and brought wyverns in, I got picked to fly one of these magnificent beasts. The training is exertion enough to keep you fit and hard, people give you looks even knights didn't used to get, and...it's glorious. Have you ever felt clouds skim through your hair? Watched a sunset from the roof of the world, and heard the creatures roar it down? Majestic, I tell you. You should try it sometime, Render's big enough to carry a passenger or two.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:21 No.18321361

    For the last time, Orc children don't play with mutilated body parts by choice. It's because until the Great Peace their parents had to make do with whatever was available. Now they actually have the resources to afford it they have dolls, hobby-horses and so on like the rest of us.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:24 No.18321373
    I'm part of the 1121st. We're one of the oldest light infantry units, but we got tossed by the wayside when the army moved from a light infantry to heavy infantry focus. We used to have a reputation and now we're just chaff. you know what the Heavies call us right?

    Arrow catchers. I mean its not a wonder our officer doesn't want to be anywhere near us. We lost seventy in a border skirmish last week. Half our number gone like that. We can't trust our armor and our shields aren't the best for catching arrows. We got posted out in the middle of nowhere defending some god forsaken hill that no one cares about and nobody needs.

    Except the Elves know we're here. Now they're just playing games with us. If you really want to do us a favor tell someone in charge to send us some help here at Llael. There's only thirty left in the unit. Another week and there won't be any.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:24 No.18321379

    hey flyboy! you know those little kid 'casters they've been attaching to you guys?
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:24 No.18321380
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    Well, it's either going to be cavalry or heavier infantry. His Overness has made a decision that since gishes like myself have both superior maneuverability and heavy firepower than light infantry, he's slowly phasing it out. While we will all be raised to fight on after we die, keeping the soul around is a lot harder than just animating the body, so most don't get the treatment Mr. Skelly did. And His Overness knows that a mind that can think tactically is more valuable than a dumb grunt that obeys orders - that's why there have been so many more field promotions these last few years.

    I'm actually on my way with my battalion to replace Ms. Footsoldier's unit. I'm fresh out of the gish training program... do you think I'll get to kill a lot of elves?

    I hope so...
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:24 No.18321382
    Fell knight here.

    Once, I served as a church's lapdog, and performed questionable deeds in their name. It is to be expected for one of my profession, but still, it left a bitter taste in my mouth.

    Then the Overlord came along.

    He had decimated the church I worked for while I was away on a mission, and made me an offer: join with him and his army, or perish like the maggot I am. I figured, "Eh, can't be any worse than working for the church."

    I was wrong. It was far BETTER. When I killed someone the Overlord wanted dead, I felt no shame, no lingering questions or doubt. Perhaps it was because the people in question actually deserved it. For once in my life, I felt pride in my profession as a Fell Knight!

    And to top it off, we're killing off those damnable elves that made me become a Fell Knight in the first place!

    Glory to you, Overlord, and I thank you for enlisting such a faulty blade such as me!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:24 No.18321386
    I'm starting to like this Overlord guy,
    He's the kind of evil I can trust
    >> Commander Tavrek of the Mace 03/14/12(Wed)04:26 No.18321396
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    I request you rescind that order, Captain. Soldiers talk and soldiers grumble, even our Orcish brethren. It sets bad precedent to see their comrades as less than untouchable.

    If necessary, inform the girl that I will look into the problem. Your soldiers are equipped with...? And from which forges...? I assure you, the high command takes these worries seriously, better to be alerted now than lose a battle further down the line to faulty gear.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:26 No.18321398
    Somebody get me some elf genocide propaganda /tg/ has lying around. You know- "Around Elves, Watch Yourselves!" It's been around for ages. We can really put it to good use now for the Overlord!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:26 No.18321399
    The one isssue I have with the Overlord iss that hiss ssoldierss do not know how to fight in the sswamp. They march in, wearing their ssteel sshellss, and try to fight the elvess and their alliess in liness and ssquaress. The human leader ignoress our recommendationss, and hiss men die in great numberss. As much as I enjoy the taste of naturrally pickled manflesh, I prefer to win the war he hass sworn uss to fight.

    How do I tell the Overlord that hiss leaderss here are foolissh without being sstrung up in the border townss?
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:26 No.18321402
    The problem with our Light Infantry doctrine is it was designed for a defensive war, getting the locals who knew the land and some pardoned poachers to harry the enemy. Our officers really don't know how to use them in enemy territory, and we haven't got a good corps of specially trained light infantry. We'll learn, but it's the kind of knowledge bought with lives.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:28 No.18321413

    well, it won't be up to the 'heavy' standard we've got in the legion, but that's just because since he took over, we're all bound to our armor anyway, so if we die in a fight, we just keep on going, no need for a necro to be assigned at anything lower than the regimental level.

    'course, I hear it's also horrifically expensive and he's trying to find a middle ground, and is planning to just use some crazy scheme involving that orphan wizard corps, the flyers, and teleportation. and us.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:29 No.18321417
    The Overlord: He's a dick, but he's OUR dick!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:29 No.18321418
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    You should be fine. You've got a gish battalion en-route to relieve you. Once they arrive, return to Halver's Gallow for retraining and repurposing. Chances are you'll be converted into an asymmetrical warfare or raider unit, if not cavalry.

    This war is rough, but take heart in knowing that it takes centuries for an elven warrior to be grown and trained, and every one you've slain is a huge blow to our enemy.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:29 No.18321419
    >Finally, someone willing to take a tough stance on diplomats. Although really, I'm disappointed about this whole concubine business. The Dark Lord should promote vocational training and capital grants or development loans to young women, not encourage their families to tart them up so they get dowries.

    He's got a stressful job, the man needs a way to relax, and better he do it by bedding nubile girls than practicing his crossbow skills on kittens or boar-hunting drunk.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:30 No.18321423
    I can offer a group of my ssslickest warriorss to help teach you humanss how to wage a guerrilla war. It is how one iss meant to fight, to kill with cunning and stealth, not by running on to your foess swordss.

    It may help sslow the rate you catch the enemiess arrowss if you are harder to ssee, anyway...
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:32 No.18321440
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    Sorry sir, that message should have arrived a week ago. We're already here.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:33 No.18321445
    So learn it with someone else's. We're dying out here as an experiment, and it isn't one that's working. We always break where the charge hits because we're not designed for that sort of fighting. We don't have the equipment to ward off their heavy cavalry and if all we're doing is catching arrows you can at least give us bigger shields so we can pretend like we get to be safe with everyone else.

    We'd take up better positions but the officers want us to keep the flanks secure. So we get to die in droves for no purpose at all. I've already put in my application for a new post as a cannoneer. I'm tired of nearly getting killed for no damn reason.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:34 No.18321454
    Don't waste your breath Commander. We took care of that elf-bitch already.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:36 No.18321464
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    Now I support our Overlord as much as anyone, but some of the demihuman auxiliaries frighten and concern me. Orcs I am fine with. Dark elves I am fine with. Even the undead don't bother me. But these brutish things-- where did he even get them? They have strange equipment and just tear through anything in their path. The worst part is, in the war camps at night, some people go missing when they're around. Even if we're not in enemy territory.

    Gives me chills. Fortunately my tour of duty's done in three months, so I can head to university on the army pension and hopefully become a scribe.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:36 No.18321469
    Sure, but he should marry them. If a man takes multiple wives, he's demonstrating his wealth. If a man takes concubines, he's demonstrating he thinks their blood isn't noble enough to acknowledge their children. And I didn't force feed all those noblemen their own testes before throwing them off the scaffold for the Overlord to start taking airs like that.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:37 No.18321474
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    Gwurrr rurrrr rrrrarrrrnnnn

    Mmmmrurrrr rurrr mwurrr gwurrr hrarrrr mmrrruurrrrrr hrrurrr

    Grrrrrr grrurrr brrrnnnn gwurrrrrr!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:37 No.18321476
    Some folk wanna go out there an make a fuss about this new overlord fella bein some kin'a evil bastard. I don' know 'bout all that. Far as I can tell he ain't no worse'n the queen was an' at least 'is own people get a better deal of it. I ain't seen taxes lower in all my years an' them infrawhatsits he's buildin' all oer is doin great things fer the local bidness. Yeh can tell the country's gettin' rich hwin there's folk comin' round yer town payin' good money just to see the place. An' inna middle of a war too. I dunno exackly what he's doin in the cap'tl there but whaddever it is it's workin'.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:38 No.18321480
    We have been happy to donate our bigger... coussinss sserviccess to the Overlord.

    They do require a certain amount of tending, however...
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:38 No.18321481
    You see, it's this kind of racism that our Overlord is trying to eliminate! just because someone looks different or acts different doesn't mean they hate elves any less than we do.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:39 No.18321488
    You too, huh? I've been having issues with keeping morale up and panic down. There've been reports...
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:40 No.18321492

    We had our light infantry pulled out and re-assigned not all that long ago. lately we've been just working with some drow auxiliaries out on the flanks, and haven't had an issue. 'Course, there's more than a little bitching about us being a 'human only' unit, but it is what it is.

    and it's worth it when we march Through one of those vassal communities the elves kept out in the east. After we took Iben, man, it was like we were all legendary heroes or something! haha! so many fat merchants offering their daughters as wives, it was unreal.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:41 No.18321505
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    I've seen 'em. Speedy little gits, but having them around makes us fight harder. Nobody wants to see them go down, and there've been a few furballs we've deliberately screened them in. When they're safe, though, everything's fine and dandy in the skies. The Elves were using those big hawks of theirs as recon, but they've all but stopped since we put more wyverns in the air.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:41 No.18321507
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    I'm a lich.

    I have to say, it is rather wonderful being able to be recognized as a valued member of society under this regime. I have an excellent job teaching at the Arcane Academy in the capital, when previously witch-hunters would be out for my skull (ho-ho!). Better yet, it gives me an outlet to impart my aeons of wisdom and accumulated knowledge for the betterment of man beyond a few isolated cults.

    The Overlord's the best thing to ever happen to this country, as far as I'm concerned.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:42 No.18321509
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:43 No.18321515
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    Concubine is just an informal term, dear. Something that a few of the palace staff must have picked up when me and the other girls were joking around - I'd hate to think of the alternative. That would mean the elves have spies in the palace, and that would be terrible.

    You needn't worry about our honor; he's wed the twenty of us. He IS a lawful man, after all. The days of our marriage were declared an official holiday in our home provinces a few weeks ago.
    >> Fell Knight 03/14/12(Wed)04:43 No.18321518

    What? Confound it man, you know hardly any of us speak Ursine! Bah, I'll just assume it's praise for the Overlord.

    Something seems a bit off about yo--AH!

    You're missing a hat to complete that fine dashing ensemble of yours!
    >> Fell Knight 03/14/12(Wed)04:45 No.18321533

    Are you DAFT, man? That's clearly a highly distinguished gentleman who speaks Ursine!
    >> Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg 03/14/12(Wed)04:46 No.18321537
    My lord! What a port to pull into! I can hear the profit to be made in the very footfalls of the city!

    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:46 No.18321540
    >Speaking of which, "Oh no, he's scary! He wears a lot of black and spikes!" Yeah, and that's fucking great for us, too! Nobody wants to fuck with us now, the Caliphate is staying well clear of our borders for the first time in generations.
    I wouldn't say that, effendi! You've scared off our bloodthirsty noblemen, but now the frontier is peaceful we merchant adventurers can finally make an honest living, bringing you our spices and gems instead of profaning ourselves selling wine and poppy to pillagers or silk and perfume to slavers.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:47 No.18321547
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    Hello everyone! I'm a private contractor who currently works for the Overlord. all hail him and whatnot.

    I just want to say that me and my employees are really benefiting from all these new government projects.

    our current project is building these onyx towers on intersecting laylines. They're really something to see when they're done. As soon as we finish and the local Overlord Representative consecrates the tower and it's on to the next one. granted as soon as we finish dark clouds start closing in around the tower but I don't think its anything serious.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:48 No.18321550

    they're training them to open up Doorways for us, you know. We just did some training with the capitol wyvern riders and three of the kids. if they can get on the ground and open up a gate, we can have the legion wherever they are, in battalion strength, in about 5 minutes. it's unreal the possibilities it opens up, ya know? and if they attach those summoners to us like they keep saying,... well, think about it like this. He could put an army of bound demons and men wherever you guys can fly.

    and think, back when he was making his bid for the thrones, the queen said he was a 'brute, with a brute's intellect'.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:49 No.18321560
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    Ha! You dolts really think that this Overlord of yours is some sort of protector? A shining light in the darkness of your life? Can you see what he is doing? The green skins and the boneheads are proof that he is evil, or at lest stupid enough to trust an Orc with a weapon. Tell me what do you think will happen when the Orcs get bored? Do you think they will all just sit around and play a game of chess? No, they are going to find someone's head to bash in with that shiny new axe that the overlord gave them. And as we all know Orc arn't picky when it comes to head bashing, to them a human's head is just as good as anything else.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:50 No.18321565
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    Ah, been meaning to ask, how are our stocks? We've had some crossbows go bad in the recent weather and, as always, we need more bolts. Haven't had much call for lances, with the Elvish greathawks keeping themselves quiet.

    Any news for the Third Heavy Wyverns? Raiding's not doing much when they just sit tight and hide under the canopy, and I'm hoping we'll get firepots in soon...
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:51 No.18321576
    I am an Orc, and also the Fellheim chess grand champion. I don't even own an axe, and my second wife is a librarian.

    You are clearly an elf, spouting such slander against a prominent minority.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:51 No.18321577
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    Murrr rrrrrnnnn rrrrnnnd. Byrrrmmm rraarruurrr rurrrr rrurrrnnndd. Rnnfff rrrnnfff rrrnfff.

    Hhhyrrrnnn nrrrr burrrdddnnn. Mrrrrr rurrrr rrrrwwwrrrr rarrrwww.

    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:52 No.18321580
    You know, the only thing I worry about with this new overlord is that he's maybe a bit too efficient. I mean we're driving the elves back further every day. Sure there's casualties but we're giving them worse than we get by a long shot. One of these days we're gonna finish them off for good and then where will we be? This whole damn economy and the unity of the people has been built around hating the bastards.

    Don't get me wrong. I like an elf like an arrow in my chest. But I worry about what's going to happen when there aren't any more elves left to hate...
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:52 No.18321583
    Clearly the dark clouds are to give shade to the weary travelers on the roads. Those summer days can get awfully hot I know, I used to be a caravan guard. And when you're trying to fight off elven raiders, the last thing you need is heat exhaustion.

    The guy thinks of everything, it's incredible!
    >> Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg 03/14/12(Wed)04:53 No.18321593

    Ah, a wise man- er, orc- indeed! Would you perhaps be interested in some tomes I discovered in my travels? They may or may not pertain to ancient runes..heh.

    How 'bout a special, just for you! Get a book now, and get one for your (more likely than not) beautiful wife at half the price!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:53 No.18321594
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    2.06 MB

    Well, we've been teaching them to play cards, they seem to be getting the hang of it. Terrible gamblers, and they get nasty if they think you're cheating, but just descending into murder? That's just the old racism coming back again.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:53 No.18321596
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    You conveniently forget the amount of times we "kids" have pulled your arses out of the fire, flyboy. Like, say, that time you decided to show off for the half elf you were trying to impress, and you managed to fly your entire platoon in an ambush of woodelves. Wood elves mounted on DRAGONS.

    I mean sheesh, how the hell did you miss a dragon? Your lucky it was our platoon picked up that sending - everyone else was low on dakka from their attempt to break through the soutwest van.

    None of us wanna see you guys go down either, you know?
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:54 No.18321599
    If your as sick of this butchery as I am, sick of dying for nothing, you'd best just get out of here all together. Haven't you questioned what we're fighting these damn knife-ears over? It's nothing. They've nothing we want, no gold, nor wealth. They've never harmed nor attacked us; hell, when I was a lad my gran-pappy told me stories about how they fought side by side with 'em in Bel-Ethel, during the Demon Break. Since the Overlord's taken charge, I've been in the field for two years straight, killing, burning, slogging through miles of rain soaked ash that used to be a people's home. And for what? Nine thousand brave men dead, and we now control a lifeless hell-scape and we govern over horde of crows and buzzards. We're just meat to them, those polished up, black armored parade monkeys that wear his colors, and we're dying to make their names. Hell, when we stormed Illuvia, into the breach who did they send first? The skeletons? No, it was us, the footmen, who had to charge into certain death. I heard our unit command question that black-robe who gave the order, and he said, "Those skeletons cost twenty five of our overlords gold pieces each. Dead men are free." Me and the rest of the regiment have had it, we're taking our pay and deserting. If you've half a mind yet, you'll come with us, an not die in someone else's bloody war.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:54 No.18321604

    I dunno 'bout that, my new neighbor Joggo and his family are real nice ('cept his fifth son, but boys will be boys).

    When he's not hittin' sumfin' wit' that axe of his, the Orc is paintin'. Or readin'.

    Though he does like hittin' stuff with that axe. Lemme tell ya, a bigass dire boar came chargin' through the village one day, an' what did ol' Joggo do?

    Chopped it's head clean off, he did.

    Then the village had roast boar that day.

    They's ain't bad folks, is what I'm saying. A bit odd sometimes, but they settle down like anyone else.
    >> Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg 03/14/12(Wed)04:55 No.18321609

    Er...varied clientele, I..see.

    I -know- I have an Amulet of Wildspeak somewhere...maybe a Ring of the Ursine..
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:55 No.18321610
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    My, what an unbelievably ignorant and bigoted statement.

    I'll have you know that Orcs can be valued members of society with proper education and a chance to succeed.

    It's elves like you that forced them to the swamplands and desert that made them into the harsh brutal people they became!

    You know what? I'm not even mad at you. I'm just genuinely disappointed.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:55 No.18321611

    Queen's guard, or elf?

    The orcs we've worked with have been nothing but professionals, all the way across. alot better than I can say for the old royal guard corps assholes.
    >> Fell Knight 03/14/12(Wed)04:57 No.18321622
    >Ha! You dolts really think that this Overlord of yours is some sort of protector? A shining light in the darkness of your life? Can you see what he is doing? The green skins and the boneheads are proof that he is evil
    >The green skins and the boneheads are proof that he is evil

    Uh...No SHIT? I mean, yeah, obviously he's evil, but damn it, he's doing a bang up job of improving our lot!

    And would someone PLEASE get a translator for this gentleman over here?

    Yeah, I wouldn't worry about the clouds either, they're probably there for dramatic effect and what not.
    >> Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg 03/14/12(Wed)04:57 No.18321624

    Would a delightful charm cheer you up? Gold and emerald earrings, almost as beautiful as your eyes. And they match!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)04:57 No.18321625
    >> Captain Relkirk, 3rd Heavy Wyverns 03/14/12(Wed)04:58 No.18321629

    Well, yeah, the old nobility were all "knights, knights, and more knights", and anything that didn't let them field their pet troops and win more glory for their duchy or fief or shitpile made them throw a tantrum. It's why his Overness swept the nobility away in the first place and got some real generals.

    ...you ever see that one mage General of his? The cute one, with the freckles? Swear she winked at me last time she came by to give us orders, but now they do everything by Sending magic, so I guess I can't paint her on Render's barding anytime soon.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:00 No.18321646

    Man, do I know for a fact you ain't never met an orc before. Let me tell you something. My best mate's an orc. Goes by the name of Krill. Sure he likes himself a good axe and a head to hit with it. But I ain't met many soldiers what don't. He's a stand up guy just the same as any other man in the squad and I'll lay 'em down flat to the man what says otherwise.
    >> Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg 03/14/12(Wed)05:01 No.18321650

    Ah..my good man, I see you have a dilemma! Perhaps I can assist you. I happen to have a book on such matters which you may like to peruse, and if all you wish to do is peruse and not buy, well, be my guest!

    As for anything else, maybe a message scroll or two to help contact her, or these two-way mirrors. There is also, of course, the route of gift-giving, of which I am well familiarized with.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:01 No.18321654
    Thog offended by mean paladin lady's words. Thog not smart, but Thog strong, and Thog hard worker. Thog succeed in job of make dead meanie elf.

    Thog also learn life fulfilment - Thog volunteer to help raise orphans on leave. Thog has to remember play gentle, so Thog remembers kittens - they squishy, so when Thog teach orphans use axe, Thog remember to not use all strength.

    Kittens are soft and fuzzy. Now that Thog has proper a-part-ment, Thog has many kitties. Kitties like Thog, Thog likes kitties. So do little orphans, who Thog gave new litter to last week.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:02 No.18321661
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    Even the Overlord's approach to crime and punishment is remarkably progressive. Case in point, me.

    I am-- was-- a murderer. Admitted, convicted, sentenced to die. But I was given a chance to serve. I agreed. I had a demon bound into me and now, when they need some shock and horror, they teleport me into an enemy stronghold and let me go crazy. Then they activate the magical failsafes, knock me out, and collect me for the next go.

    It's .. gratifying. And fun.
    >> Legionnaire-Colonel Vharka 03/14/12(Wed)05:03 No.18321665

    haha! yes, I know who you're talking about, she's actually got her battlegroup at spearpointe keep with about a dozen Legion Battalions for 'wetlands crosstraining'. she's had artificer-casters working day and night putting extra enchantments on legion armor so we can get heavy infantry into the swamps for the first time effectively.
    >> Captain Relkirk, 3rd Heavy Wyverns 03/14/12(Wed)05:03 No.18321667

    Tsch, the day I let a cute girl take an arrow for me is the day I don't deserve to fly.

    Besides, that was...clearly intentional, dragons maneuver like ducks in butter. We could've taken 'em, just wanted to be sure. Definitely. No trouble at all. Not that we didn't appreciate the help or nothin'. Thanks for that.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:04 No.18321670
    Thog remember you!

    You Cell Block C? So was Thog! Thog looking for new room-mate for bigger a-part-ment, maybe you? You like kitties?
    >> Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg 03/14/12(Wed)05:04 No.18321671

    Maybe those wonderful little orphans would like some of my finely crafted toys, eh? Would be a delightful gift for the future, my large-but-gentle friend.

    Er, not to say you're -always- gentle. But you know what I mean..right?
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:05 No.18321675
    Ass long ass he doess not intrude into our sswamps, I will ignore him. Ass long ass he ssents uss weaponss and food, we will kill for him. Ass long ass he sendss uss gold to buy what elsse we need, we will enforcce hiss lawss on the townss near uss, and hunt thosse he callss outlawss.

    We will not trusst, him, but disstrusst is hardly new to uss.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:06 No.18321688
    >ass long ass

    i read that wrong a few times.
    >> Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg 03/14/12(Wed)05:07 No.18321689

    Hm...not sure what I could offer you. What are your interests, my scaled acquaintance?
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:07 No.18321693
    I did have a soft spot for kitties. But I am kept in a carefully warded cage when not in use. I do not think I will be allowed any kitties.
    But I am allowed th̛̲ͨͤͥ́͆̚e̺͙̩͔͙̹̝ͨ͊͆̄̏̆ ̭͎̱̗̋̌͒̽͌͆ͤè̐̌ͫ͜s̍͏̱͓̲̞̼̠s̝̙̼̥̯̆e̤̠̫̯̩̖̝̒̇ͣ̎̋ͭͣ͜n̥͕̳
    ̩͙̱̠c̒͏eͭ͆̌̐̌҉̜̤͙ ̐̓̓ͥ̑ͨ̀͟o̳͚ͯͮ̄ͯ̆̕f͏͍̳̮̻̮ ̴̤͇̫̤̣̱f͖͓̓̐͌͑͡ḷ̹̤̳̪͔͓ͧ͂͗ͫ̈́͟ḛ̭͖̲͇͕̮͠ŝ̱̰̰͕̭͎̙̿͝ḧ̜ͮ
    ̴̺̣͉̍ͥ̑̄͒̑ẗ̻͖̬̳̟̽̎͆͂ͅh̴͔͕̗͇͙̙͑ͤ̏eͫ͂ͬ ̗͈͒͛͐̌͒ͧͩ͢f̯̓ͥͥͧl͙̻̤͐ͤ̿̀ͦẽ̙̤̭ͩ̆ͦ̿̔̐ṣ̶̰͓̍͗̏ͅh̩ͩ̃̆ͨͥͥ
    ͔ ͎̩̲͍̘͖̩͛̄͠t̺̣̯͎͋̒̆ͦ͂h̬̹̰̒̅͟e̜̎ͥ̃̑ ̟̘̫̄ͩ͌f̣͎̯̪͍̉̎l̈́ͨ̊ͭ͏ė̂͋̔ͣ͏͎̳s̶ͯ͐ͦḩ̞̥̯͙̭̞̈́͌̉͐̇ͅ ͋ͬ̈ṱ̬̭̻̏ͤḧ̩̺̀ë̝̜̲̩̻̬́̂͘ ͚͉͖̰̫̬̲̑̄͊͛͂̇͘f͈͙̌l̻̰̲͇̻̭̇͌͜ĕ̘͈̹̩͇̖̫͋͂ͦ͐͢s͔̺hͯ͒ͬ̾͋ͯ̽
    >> Captain Relkirk, 3rd Heavy Wyverns 03/14/12(Wed)05:07 No.18321694

    Swampfighting's a shitcrock and no mistake. You can't get the heavy armor in there (until now), and no horses either, so there go two of our big advantages against the elves. Everything in there's alive and mean, and the elves can do that nature-talking bullshit and bring it up on you. If it wasn't for our scaly buddies, crossing the swamps would be a hateful meatgrinder.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:08 No.18321700
    oh god, it's a crazy cat orc.

    animal hoarding is becoming a problem.
    >> Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg 03/14/12(Wed)05:09 No.18321708

    Hm...what if I were to tell you that I may have an alchemical ingredient to aid your hunger, and mayhaps subdue it, albeit for a short period. No promises, though.

    As for where I found it, let's just say I travel quite a bit.
    >> Captain Relkirk, 3rd Heavy Wyverns 03/14/12(Wed)05:10 No.18321717
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    We have an Orc boy in our platoon. Skinny kid, for one of them, but he's got a good heart and lifting the lance is no trouble for him. Took the meanest little shit of a wyvern he could find and buzzes around on it like there's no tomorrow.
    >> Legionnaire-Colonel Vharka 03/14/12(Wed)05:13 No.18321733

    If we were still under the queen, I'd say meatgrinders are what the legion's for. but he's made us more of a weapon. And I think we're a pet project for the general, with all the magic they've been attaching to the armor, they've been talking about binding lesser demons to help power it all. it's getting just a bit insane, really.

    funny part? we've been training against human targets, recently, not elven ones. I think our lord is getting ready to finally make a move against the queen's loyalists in the north.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:13 No.18321735
    as a giant most people are upset when i go on a stroll but ever since the overlord gave me my new dutys moving villages to safer land things have been wonderful they even gave me speech lessons one bard even wrote me a poem.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:14 No.18321741
    I have no issues with the overlord. I am a scholar before him it was all noooooo that is heretical or noooooo the queen doesn't think we should research that. Now I can research whatever I want, and if it has military application I am set and well paid. Currently working on something similar to alchemists fire but much larger and deadlier that can be dropped from our wyvern riders from the sky.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:14 No.18321742

    There's a reason there's a northern front, mate. Not a lot of humans up here now, though. I think he's mostly got us dark elves up there because of how much most of us hate the Queen's loyalists.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:15 No.18321749
    When Friend Overlord is done subduing the elves does he plan on doing something about those haughty wizards who oppress and enslave the poor mundane folk?
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:15 No.18321753
    I'm not saying there aren't a lot of bastards in officer's uniforms, but we are fighting for a good reason. The Elves consider their alliance to be with the Throne, not our nation. Right now, you're seeing men die because a few idiots haven't been cashiered yet. If they win, you'll see men die because the half-elf bastards set up to replace our nobility want to give their land to colonists from the forest.
    >> Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg 03/14/12(Wed)05:16 No.18321759
    Looks like my freelancing isn't getting many bites...Ah, well. Opportunity doesn't always strike, as it turns out.

    Are there any properties for rent, such as a shop or store-space? I would be thrilled to get a spot in such a thriving city.
    >> Captain Relkirk, 3rd Heavy Wyverns 03/14/12(Wed)05:17 No.18321765

    That's gonna be a slaughter, unless they pull a hero or two out of their ass. I don't think the armor enhancement stuff is going to be widespread, though, it's expensive, and armor can be lost or captured. Probably they're grooming your boys and girls to be some kind of elite force, if it all works...you might be in for a promotion soon. Hey, if I'm right, I'll buy you an ale, I know this great place in Mistbough...
    >> Lizardman 03/14/12(Wed)05:17 No.18321766
    Amussingly, my people are expertss in swamp warfare, guerrilla strikess, and ssabotage.

    Ass for what we want, eh, we prossper under your lord. If you have more rewardss, we are willing to take on more obligationss.

    Ffuck you, it iss hard to sspeak your idiot tongue with teeth like ourss.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:17 No.18321769
    Ho ho, the wisdom of his overlordship is greater still than merely wiping away the nobles you once knew. Now he hasn't announced this officially yet, but I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a wench, and word goin' round is that the overlord isn't appointing one of his sons the successor of the empire. Says that this would result in all sorts of "murderous harem politics" and that he didn't want that for his children. No, instead he said he will lay down a new law- some wizardry he calls "meritocracy". One of them mage generals may just be your new overlord someday should you live to see it sonny.

    Can you imagine? From orphan to king. What a world we live in today! These are exciting times for all, fellow citizens. Who knows what could come next? An Orc successor perhaps? Who knows? He's turned the whole world on its head it has- or maybe just for the first time put it back on its feet!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:18 No.18321776
    That's what the Academies are for, good friend! He's testing them out on the orphans, and from what I'm hearing from the front those kids can rival even the elven heavy sorcerers. We won't lift off the wizards oppression - everyone who wants to become a wizard will be able to, if they've a sound mind and willingness to work for it.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:18 No.18321778
    I swear, everythin's better under the new Overlord. Used to be, I had to poach just to keep me family fed, and if I'd been caught, that would 'ave been all for me, and me little sisters too, all three of 'em. But now, I've got honest work as a scout and saboteur for the legion, fightin' them damned knife-ears with their own tricks. I swear, you ain't had fun 'til you've put a bodkin through a pointy-eared fucks throat and watched 'em gurgle. Me and my squad, we're all old criminals, bandits, poachers, cutpurses... and now we got great gear, good food, and real honest work. Killin' elves no less. I'm tellin' you light infantry boys, once they transfer you over to guerrilla warfare, you'll change your tune.
    >> Captain Relkirk, 3rd Heavy Wyverns 03/14/12(Wed)05:19 No.18321785
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    If you were a woman, I'd marry you.
    >> Legionnaire-Colonel Vharka 03/14/12(Wed)05:21 No.18321789

    ah, mistbough. I was posted there as a Legionnaire-Captain when the overlord's army came through. that's back before he had a lot of support, you remember? He's just had the 45th border regiment join him, and our battalion was split. My company and one other, we were his first heavy infantry, you know? well, other than his bodyguard.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:21 No.18321793
    Ah, the towers. I had a hand in designing those! The clouds are nothing to worry about, just a bit of a side effect. There might be black lightning storms at the very worst but as long as everything's operational none of that should hit anyone who's not an elf. The towers are basically just for siphoning power, though I understand there's also some intent to set them up to empower a mage stationed there. I didn't deal with that part personally.
    >> Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg 03/14/12(Wed)05:21 No.18321798

    So, maybe we can work out a few boons, then, eh? Me and my men work on a ship, and we sometimes have difficulties with deep-water salvage. Are your people good in the water? I would be willing to pay for their services, a fair share of the loot we collect.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:23 No.18321811
    Don't tell anyone, this is real hush-hush, but around the palace I've heard a lot of distaste for the Archons.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:24 No.18321815
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    >want to become evil dictator so i can kill elves that shunned me
    >overthrow crap empire using orcs from the swamplands.
    >but now empire is in shambles
    >rebuild military
    >by rebuilding military I revitalize the economy and create work for all citizens.
    >campaign against elves forces humans of the empire to accept the orcs as fellow citizens so they can unite against common enemy
    >in order to improve military effectiveness I had to invest in education, medicine, and veteran benefits.
    >with proper structure, access to education and newly found acceptance by the locals, the Orcs become productive members of society as well as excellent shock troops.
    >campaign begins anew and goes surprisingly well
    >backs against the wall the elves resort to more and more despite tactics including trying to expose me as evil to the people.
    >people don't buy it and actually start defending me without any need to bribe or threaten them.
    >On the verge of victory, I am celebrated as a hero of the people and elves are universally despised.
    >empire is strong, prosperous and currently going through a Renaissance of technology, art, and industry.
    when did i forget to be evil?

    Where did I go right?
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:26 No.18321830
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    Hrrrnnnff rrrurrrrnnff.... There we are.

    My apologies, two-legs, I hope our little communication mishap did not sow any distrust and suspicion. I managed to... misplace the... how do you say it.... monocle? Yes monocle, that would otherwise facilitate more fluid communication atwixt our species.

    This rudimentary potion will only last so long so I will be... hrrrrnnn.... swift? Swaft? Again I must apologize, even with the aid of magic the complexities of your tongue continue to escape me.

    That aside, could you please point me in the direction of the nearest representative of the One-Who-Is-Not-Living-or-Dead?
    >> Captain Relkirk, 3rd Heavy Wyverns 03/14/12(Wed)05:27 No.18321836

    I hope you've got a good annalist, that's gonna make your company's history, mark my words. We've got one of the flying girlmages keeping ours, the sassy one.

    Anyway, I'd better get these requisitions in, we're damned low on bolts. Keep safe, Vharka, it's good to see you as tough as I'd remembered.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:28 No.18321844
    Damn bloody elf-lover. The elves insult our people and they inhabit our rightful land. We'll farm their forests, and we'll capture their magical trinkets and their mana nodes. That's what we want. Why, if we had their land every able-bodies man could have a good hundred and sixty acres, and our mages would be flooded with power.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:29 No.18321848
    You decided to make your people useful. In doing so, you cared for them.

    Interestingly, this will happen if you are intelligent whether your goal is to create a galactic golden age of peace or omnicide.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:30 No.18321855

    They're fading off the propaganda slowly. The Elves will be around for a good, long time, but after them...I've heard of a push on what's left of the Queen's forces. There's talk of seeing how brave the Caliphate is getting, too, even though their current Caliph is more interested in religious poetry than war. You can always funnel fervor into rebuilding and strengthening the economy, too.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:32 No.18321869
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    You never, my lord. You simply do your evil more efficiently, and in doing so wrought a relative good for the people who support you. To attempt to say that somehow what you have done to improve the lives of your minions and your peasant commoners will in any way defer the evils you will bring about through this empire is a objective falsehood. You have raised a generation of fanatical supporters, that sit upon the backs of a million more than contented common men and women.

    We await your command.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:33 No.18321870
    But why are we fighting the Elves you fool? It's no damn civilized reason and you know it. War is hell. It kills men, tears families apart, chew up entire generations and spits them out. And here we are, in the mud and the ash, killing and dying, men women and children alike, our brothers and sisters and sons and daughters and those of the elves who've never wronged us in the history of our people, all so our "Beloved Overlord" can stick a little flag in a map and a notch in his belt? I can't say much for your sense if you can't find fault with that. At least under the Queen, I fought only in defense of what was mine. I'm finished watching brave young men choke out the last moments of their life for another man's pride, and a fancy shield with his crest on it. You can boast of your courage in the field, but my shield doesn't make me feel any safer anymore. It's nature and the Gods', not honer nor prides's law we must obey. That's why I'm throwing this useless shield away.
    >> Lizardman 03/14/12(Wed)05:33 No.18321873
    My people are capable of holding their breath far longer than humanss can, and we do sswim fasster, so I sussposse we could be of usse. I will ssend ssome of our better sswimmerss to you. Perhapss, in return, you could ssee about getting uss rightss to the land we take from the longearss...
    >> Legionnaire-Colonel Vharka 03/14/12(Wed)05:34 No.18321876

    we're low on the list for the orphans, to be honest. We carry the spear to fight with, and live in our armor, and not many 10 year old kids can do that all that well and have anything leftover for casting.

    and I'd hate to see light armored kids in with us if we're going to be strike troops. No survivability and bad for morale.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:36 No.18321889
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    A deserter's punishment is de~ath. So I guess it's time for you to die~!

    >> Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg 03/14/12(Wed)05:37 No.18321898

    Well, as far as land-rights go, I can't do much, but cold hard cash probably isn't so bad for you either way. Though I will keep an eye out for you in those regards. Who knows where I may end up in this glorious day and age!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:38 No.18321899
    Oh, so the knife-ears never did nothin' to us, you say? I'm from a border forest, and elves killed me pa one day, just for chasin' a deer onto their land to feed me an' my sisters. Don't kid yourself about the elves you traitor. To them your no more than an insect.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:38 No.18321903
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    Ah, you orphans always know how to drag my spirits back to evil when I'm feeling good.
    >> artificer 03/14/12(Wed)05:40 No.18321917
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    Ha the old queen said i was an insane fool, but look at what i finished look at it perfection given the form of stone and steel, all thanks to this new overlord and his funding now i can finally finish my army of constructs in his name!
    >> Fell Knight 03/14/12(Wed)05:40 No.18321920

    Make no mistake, my lord. Everyone here knows you're evil. But damn it, you're just the better option than everything else, ESPECIALLY the elves, who managed to somehow kill one of our benevolent gods.

    I...never managed to apologize to that one for losing faith in him before he...My lord, at first, I followed you simply because you killed the few people who would employ me, and had little choice in the matter...but now, I follow you for chance at throttling those damnable elves, and to see the shining future you shall build! My blade may not be comparable to your generals, but it shall smite in your name!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:40 No.18321922
    The standard issue is 160 acres for a head of household. Since your people are considered a semi-dependent vassal, It would be reasonable for you to receive lands as a group do be distributed or held in common, so I'll see about getting that written up in a proper treaty if that's your preference.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:40 No.18321924
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    It's because I don't have any, uh, growth, isn't it. We're fifteen. I don't know where you guys are getting the idea that we're ten (probably the elves, the sodding bastards) but we're fifteen.

    Sure, it's barely of age. But it's still of age. We can't learn all the magic we need to know in a single year - it takes a lot of practice to get it right. Six years memorizing formulae, unless you've got a boatload of talent.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:41 No.18321927
    A little trick if you are going to be going after a enemy town and want to impress your commander is bribe a wizard to put a few cloud kill spells in jars and drop them on the town. Once the glass shatters the long ears die and the ground troops can clear the town much easier and none of the infrastructure is hurt unlike with say alchemists fire.
    >> Passerby 03/14/12(Wed)05:42 No.18321934
    When you decided to go into the rebuilding nonsense and not just skipping to the good stuff like killing everyone and raising them into your undead army.
    >> Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg 03/14/12(Wed)05:43 No.18321943

    Note to self: Import jars. Lots of them.

    On a side note, I am now hiring a team of wizards. If you are interested in getting dibs on magical artifacts not seen in centuries, apply here!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:44 No.18321948
    And what men shall farm it? The dead? You soft fat burghers and officers don't see what I do on the front. Thousands dead, young men in the prime of life! They shove a tin hat and a spear in their hands, and send them away to the war, and all the while the marching band plays Evaline's Waltz. Were you there at the battle of Suvla? When we hit that beach, the blood had already stained the sand and water, and three thousand of our boys were dead within the first day. Then night hits, and the band plays Evaline's Waltz, we bury the dead, and the Elves buried theirs, and then it started all over again. For seven long weeks, I kept myself alive in that hell called Suvla bay, and when we finally won, they gathered us all up and sent us home; they collected the cripples the wounded, and maimed and send us back home. The legless, the arm less, the blind and insane, those proud wounded heroes of Suvla. And as we who still had use of our bodies carried them down the gangway into our home port, the fucking band played Evaline's Waltz while the crowd gathered around, and nobody cheered like when we were shipped out, they just stared, and turned their faces away, like not looking would make it all not true.

    But no, by all means, if it means you might profit off some cheap farmland to feed your fat wife and fat children, we soldiers are delighted to loose our lives for it.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:46 No.18321963

    Then we'll find you soon treacherous coward. May your "god" help you then.

    You wish to know why we fight? So that orphans can become emperors. So that orcs can become scholars. You're thinking is old. When you say no "civilized reason" what you mean is no "royal reason". You wouldn't know civilization if it taught your children mathematics from an orcish professor.

    Social mobility, you sniveling royalist twit, is the reason we fight. Do you know what prevented it before? Royalty. Nobility. The very idea of a "Queen" fighting to protect what belongs to her- which is everything. The land, the serfs- everything the property of the monarch, to divvy to her suckups as she sees fit. And the elves seek to bring us back to that dark age. They support that way of life because it suits their immortal lifespan. For when men ask, "who should rule" and we are told, "the best- the aristocracy- for they have the most training and competence"- who will always assert themselves as most superior? Elves.

    No. By tradition, we have no right to her throne. We have taken it by blood and force. We will stamp out all notions of Royalty by treason against the throne, and we will do it with pride and a smile. We will tear the throats of any who dare whisper the legitimacy of our oppressors, for the very idea offends our dignity as persons- be we human, orc, or lizardman.

    You understand nothing old man. So leave. Go hide with your loyalists and sympathizers. Loyal to the Queen, and traitors all to her people. We will find you.

    Viva la revolution mother fucker.
    >> Legionnaire-Colonel Vharka 03/14/12(Wed)05:47 No.18321965

    I'll tell you what. If you can get an assignment to the legion, I'll fight alongside you. It'll be my sheild that covers you, and it'll be my spear that kills the ones trying to kill you.

    if you can get an assignment to the legion. like I said, we're not high on the list for orphans. our armor's heavy. and mandatory.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:47 No.18321969
    They can do that? Have to see about bribin' some wizards then, keep a few o' those handy for takin' out big groups. That's the one problem with bein' a guerrilla warfare and scouting unit. We just don' have the firepower to take on bigger patrols and survive, much less win. My first squad got butchered damn near wholesale when the slantears got us surrounded. I only made it out cause a few o' your fellow flyboys showed up last second like and pulled my ass out of the killzone. Some portable cloudkills'd deal with them groups nicely.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:47 No.18321972
    Quit complaining magical regeneration is a option or simply buy a replacement part from the neighborhood necromancer and have it grafted on. Make sure it is the right proportion though otherwise you will walk strangely and it will hurt later on. Sure buying a trolls leg is funny initially and lets you win in ass kicking contests at the local tavern but isn't so fun long term.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:48 No.18321975
    >And what men shall farm it? The dead?

    I'll have you know we are working on that technology!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:49 No.18321985
    Hah! A dozen elves fall for every one of our soldiers. Some of you and your fellows may have been wounded, but have you seen the things the mages make these days? You may get a false hand that grasps as though it were a live! There are magnificent things for veterans, you'll see when you return. It sounds like you may have been in the wrong line of work though. Why not seek employment in the Academy? Or perhaps you can claim some of that same elven land!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:51 No.18321999
    I'm happy under the overlord.

    I used to be a humble scribe, forced to manually copy dozens of books a day, unable to advance due to the influence of the previous bishop.

    That all changed with the Overlord. I signed up for the army and my knack for numbers saw me instated as a brigade quartermaster, my talent was recognized and you're now looking at the Quartermaster General of the East.

    It's tough work but rewarding beyond measure. I see our conquests and know I helped enable it, the reforms and procedures put in place will help us march further, more efficiently and even fight harder then we've ever been able to before.

    I even managed to see the Overlord in person once, I was assisting his chamberlain in organizing a feast to celebrate our recent victories and I was allowed to stay and mingle during the event. I kept my distance, I will not sully his presence with one as lowly as myself but to merely seeing him in all his glory has reinvigorated me.

    I will assist the Overlord to the day I die, may it propel him to further greatness.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:52 No.18322005
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    Forgive me, but didn't I just threaten to kill you a few minutes ago? Now I know that this is against protocol, but here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to recommend you go see a therapist to take care of your PTSD.

    Henrietta had a few problems too, you know, with that slimely old bastard Allyk. But Dr. Arryn fixed her right up and made the bad memories go away. So take my hand, and I'll gate us there.

    Or don't, and I'll just pop a few magic missiles into your ass and see what happens.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:53 No.18322010
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    Wish I had a boss like Hank Scorpio
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:53 No.18322012
    You can pop your magic missile in my ass any day.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:55 No.18322023
    Not quite as viable for ground troops. If the glass shatters while still on you then you die.Not quite sure how to make it usable and still durable enough to be carried by a ground fighter. Could have it in a harder outer shell and able to be withdrawn just a idea. Can use it to set up nasty booby traps that would make even our lizard allies jealous though. Or good for assassinations take a small glass phial and hide it under your targets seat or bed.

    As a side note that should make you jungle fighters happy I am working on concoction that eliminates the enemies tree cover... not sure about the long term effects though but meh long as the pointy ears die.
    Never doubt a scholars mind when unrestrained by "morals"
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:55 No.18322029
    >> Henrietta
    What did her loli love interest die?
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:58 No.18322046
    Revolution? What a pretty word, when you are not the one dying for it. I fought in you revolution you fool, for the same ideals you did. Did it earn even a moment of peace? Did it make me rich, or give me land? No, it merely replaced one set of masters with another. When it was all over, I was marched straight to war. Then another. Then another. In the years since, I have not put down my sword once. I bled patriots blood, until the day came when I'd bled all of that blood away, and I saw this revolution for what it was; empty promises and hollow words. Now my friends and family are dead, and I'm still standing, at the front of the line, In some one else's war. And you know what? In the end, dying for the royals and dying for the revolution don't feel so different. Keep your naive "Revolution," just don't come crying to me when it's your blood.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:58 No.18322047
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    Point taken.
    If you ever find yourself in need an artillery strike, Colonel, sending up Zero Niner Alpha Delta. Our battalion motto is Full Power Total Annihilation - and no one does it better.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)05:59 No.18322056
    Hmmmmm. Maybe a small enough container, strap it to a wooden shaft and fire it from a bow. And maybe some way for us to get in contact with command faster. Somethin' we can carry around and use at any time. We can't really take magic users with us into the green though, cause the damn pointies can track 'em, and that's no good for recon.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)06:01 No.18322070
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    No. Father Allyk kind of raped her, back when the Queen let the Church have total legal control over us orphans. She's had some issues because of it.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)06:01 No.18322071
    ITT: propaganda and brainwashing.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)06:02 No.18322076
    ITT: Fookin' Elfs posting in the meta to confuse us.
    >> Talik of the Third Hand 03/14/12(Wed)06:02 No.18322079
    Talik Reginald, 3rd Thief's Hand signing in. You have no idea how odd it was to find myself surrounded by teenage wizards, only to be told that I was being sent to the front line for my, ah, talents. Can you imagine my surprise when I found myself miles away from home, sitting in company with great cut-purses like the Wind Fox of Belaria? Awe-inspiring, I tell you.

    However, that's not the important part. You know elves like their forests and meadows and swamps, but what the infantry is not seeing is their true cities. I don't mean the huts built into trees; they have cities built into mounds, using the hills as walls to protect and hide them. And I've been inside several.

    The rumors that the elves were supporting royalty? Anyone knows those are really facts, but no one knew just how true they were. Everyone (or, every thief, maybe) heard how the previous Queen's crown went missing shortly before her disposal, but no one knew were it went. Right now it's sitting in the camp's loot tent, but three weeks ago? Sitting on the head of an elf noble. A lower class noble, at that. Picture that; our old kingdom's most valuable treasure, considered trash by those uppity knife-ears.

    Well that doesn't matter. We got it back, plus a few goodies. If some particularly fast wyvern riders are willing, we have a few trinkets we've liberated from elven dragon stables that your mount will love to wear during parades. There is a course over here in Camp Lessasria (lizard folk uses odd names, but they're damn good at picking locks); you beat the time on the course and nail the target at the end with your lance, and we'll send a few saddle adornments towards your Wing Platoons. The boys could use some entertainment, and we love seeing you guys fly.
    >> Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg 03/14/12(Wed)06:02 No.18322082

    Never worry you about him, my friend. Now, how about a sword that glows when Elves are near? Fancy, I know!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)06:04 No.18322094
    ITT: your mother isn't watching you so you can curse normally.
    >> Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg 03/14/12(Wed)06:05 No.18322098

    This has given me an idea...

    Excuse me, o members of the Overlord's military! Does he require any front-line merchants? Someone to appraise and sell any spoils of war, mayhap?
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)06:06 No.18322109
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    How much?

    And more importantly, does it actually work?
    >> Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg 03/14/12(Wed)06:09 No.18322125

    Well, for those half-elves of stronger blood on the elven side, it may glow at a lower light level, but it will noticeably alight when your long-eared enemies are near. At some points, you can even hear it humming!

    As for a price, it's not a particularly difficult piece of magic, so I'd be willing to let it go for eight hundred gold. I mean, that may sound expensive, but who knows when it may just save your life!
    >> Talik of the Third Hand 03/14/12(Wed)06:10 No.18322135
    Friendly warning sir; you're not welcome amongst the 2nd Hand anymore. Not after you sold an officer (HA, like that means anything) a 'lock pick that wouldn't break' that broke when they were trying to steal the maps to elven burial sites.

    However, if you have normal lock picking gear, the 3rd Hand will happily purchase it from you; training pick pockets to open locks has dwindled our supply.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)06:11 No.18322137
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    I drew up a idea for something that is more defensive in nature. Not a very good diagram I am a scholar and thinker not a artist. Perfect for jungle fighting simply bury it under ground and wait for someone to step on it pressing the nail into the wax and releasing the spell.
    >> Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg 03/14/12(Wed)06:15 No.18322163

    Whoa now, stay your tongue. I have never once under my knowledge sold faulty equipment, and as such, I do not wish to be seen as one who defaults on good deals.

    I think I remember the one who bought the, -ahem-, 'unbreakable lockpick'. While my stores may be plentiful, such a pick would actually be kept by myself, though I did sell him a perfectly sturdy set of lockpicks, which were, in fact, stronger than their normal counterparts, His embellishment should not tarnish my name, and I would see myself cleared...though I do regret their failure in your time of need.

    Though someone with less experience probably failed with them, causing their malfunction, I will refund half the price of the picks to your group.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)06:15 No.18322164
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    Desert elf ambassador here.
    You know what? You look much cooler than our tree-hugging "brothers". Not to mention you didn't exile us generations ago for some superficial "grave insult".
    So if you need any warriors, pyromancers or Abdul you can count on us.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)06:17 No.18322174
    Yet instead of taking pride in your would-be valor, you sacrifice the only thing you would otherwise have left, and leave yourself a broken and miserable coward. Do you not hear the voice of the people? Of every farmer who's children now learn? Of every builder who shares his weekends in fraternity with an orc? You deny the peace, prosperity, freedom, and enlightenment, and cast nothing but a bitter pall. Clearly the prosperity of orcs means nothing to you. Clearly the welfare of farmers means nothing to you. You are nothing but the worst kind of selfish, and your words reek of the piss you've soiled yourself with.

    Be grateful our leaders are more gentle than I. Rather than gut you for treason on the spot, they weep for you and offer you medicine. They see you as wounded, not wretched. I'm sure my descendants will be raised by the state to have the same kindness and forgiveness, and someday they will look upon me and think me old and uncivilized for being so petty, but if that's the price for spitting on your grave, then I'll cling to being a savage just long enough.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)06:17 No.18322178
    yeash, so even the desert elves hate you wood elf guys?

    and here I was thinking WE were the evil ones.
    >> Sgt Karl Straven, 17th Irregular Recon 03/14/12(Wed)06:18 No.18322180
    Ooooooh nasty. The boys are gonna love these.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)06:21 No.18322210
    Problem: The elves know the forest better than our boys do. We're more likely to hurt our own people this way. They could be buried in a perimeter around camps and dug up in the morning if untriggered, but leaving them in trails and whatnot is likely to backfire. And even around camps they'll have to be far enough away that even a strong wind can't blow them to the sleeping soldiers, and well hidden, so setting them up will take some time.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)06:25 No.18322229
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    Ah, a true testament to the age of innovation and enlightenment that our Overlord has brought with him.

    And don't worry about being forgotten in bureaucracy, the state never overlooks potential.

    Oh excuse me, Lord-Magus Arkhall, Military Section of Magical and Technological Development.
    >> Sgt Karl Straven, 17th Irregular Recon 03/14/12(Wed)06:28 No.18322250
    Me and my recon boys could use 'em pretty damn well in an ambush though. Crap for a long term munition, but considerin' that the elves have taken to diggin' small pits, just big enough for a human foot, puttin' spikes in 'em, and smearin' the spikes with shit, so the wounds get infected, I figure it's about time we had some form of payback. Oh, and anyone who knows of a way we could drop trees on command while the slantears are in 'em, give a holler. 'Cause if we start denyin' 'em the ground, they'll take to the branches.
    >> Talik of the Third Hand 03/14/12(Wed)06:30 No.18322257
    I adore desert elves (especially the women, nudge nudge) because of how damn good of a distraction they can be. The 3rd Hand were assigned to make a elf caravan's valuables disappear (no casualties, we're thieves, not bandits), and wouldn't you know it, there was a desert elf ambassador staying at a local inn, settling trade agreements on fish, because desert elves just love fish. Wind Fox approached her (she had the loveliest eyes), and told her we needed to make a nearby caravan stop for at least fifteen minutes while we did our thing, and we were looking for a few ideas. Next thing you know we're in position, the elves walk into the spot, and WHOOSH. The pretty thing set us up with a firewall trap, looks a lot like a wizard attack but it stops a few feet away from the target instead of, you know, dead on their head.

    Have you ever seen an crew of orphans miss their target? Nope, because they don't. However, the elves don't know this and assume they're under attack. Into formation, stick together so they can defend each other, listen for armored footsteps or wingbeats. Any fighting man knows what I mean. The thing they didn't do, however, was watch their cart.

    Did you know that elves use cinnamon as an inhalant? Because there was fifty pounds of the stuff on that cart. We tried to got the half-elf Baletim to sniff some back at camp, and he spent the next hour digging a hole around the chef's cart because he was certain that the chef actually had a kitchen underground.
    >> Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg 03/14/12(Wed)06:31 No.18322259

    I might be able to get your men their hands on some sturdier boots...er, feet in, I should say. Thick metal plate in the bottom of 'em, to protect from such traps. One and a quarter hundred apiece, but a fine investment for your soldier's lives.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)06:31 No.18322260
    I don't know about taking the trees all the way down, but the fastest way to get an elf out of a tree is to throw some pitch up there and light it up.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)06:32 No.18322270
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    Hmmm, maybe their application would be better used in coordination with Undead Regiments? The Necromancers could stay at safe distance, and carry "Breather Masks", a nice little invention, it's a mask of leather and cloth, with a filtration device made of a small Spirit of Air enclosed in metal "bottle" over the mouth and nose.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)06:33 No.18322272
    I was thinking over the earlier comments putting a bottle on the end of a arrow if you did it in the field it would not be effective due to aerodynamics making the arrow not travel like it normally would. I suppose you could have a designated shooter using a heavy crossbow and specially made bolts with the bottle integrated into the arrow to make it more aerodynamic. Put one in each squad and have him be the designated heavy hitter. I would suggest fireball instead of cloud kill though will gib the pointy ear and his teammates nearby or to take out hardened targets such as dire war bears they sometimes ride. I will bring this up with my superiors give it a few months and if I get approval you will have one in your hands.
    >> Sgt Karl Straven, 17th Irregular Recon 03/14/12(Wed)06:36 No.18322282
    We're already usin' that, but they just jump to the next one, or down on top of us with those freaky curved swords of theirs. And we can only carry so much pitch. Somethin' we could use to chop through the whole damn trunk in one go though, that'd catch 'em off guard for sure.
    And thanks, I'm sure the boys'd kill to get there hands on those.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)06:36 No.18322285
    >(no casualties, we're thieves, not bandits)
    They're goddamn elves. Just because killing ain't your mission doesn't mean you shouldn't kill as many as you can.
    >> Talik of the Third Hand 03/14/12(Wed)06:39 No.18322295
    Get in contact with the 1st Hand. Word in the shadows says that a thief named Whipknife found some sort of amulet that makes trees bend down upon command.

    It was a personal find on one of his outings, so it'll probably cost you a lot. When/if you do contact him, nobody from the other Hands told you about that amulet.

    Oh, word in the shadows also states that your division is about to get reinforcements in the form of the local bandits. They don't know the forest as well as the elves, but they do know somethings that the pointy ears bastards don't. Word of caution; if you end up dealing with any of the Yellow Hats, do not leave them alone in the presence of women. The Overlord may be strong, but he hasn't gotten around to straightening out all the bandit clans. Feel free to save him the work however if they step out of line.
    >> Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg 03/14/12(Wed)06:39 No.18322299

    No need to thank me, kind sir. Your boys get protection, and I get my profit. All is fair, friend.
    >> Thakron 03/14/12(Wed)06:40 No.18322303
    I like working for the new overlord, he made the voices stop. I used to sit in my little cell trying to block out the voices and screams but then his wizards came, since then theres only been silence. I'm even allowed to work at a tavern now, all the apples i can eat. I never got to eat apples in my cell, only some kind of water that tasted weird.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)06:41 No.18322313
    Sir would you mind putting me in contact with the undead division? If they can make a zombie that can pass for elf at a distance and act passably I have a few ideas with zombie suicide bombers.
    >> Sgt Karl Straven, 17th Irregular Recon 03/14/12(Wed)06:44 No.18322326
    Thanks for the heads ups, both of 'em. I'll see about gettin' in contact with him. I never heard it from you. And don't you worry, our girls can take care of themselves. We've had more'n a few would be rapers wind up with knives 'twixt their nethers. Anybody we can't trust to have our backs out there doesn't last long.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)06:45 No.18322328
    <a challenger appears!>
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)06:49 No.18322354
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    I, for one, welcome our new Evil Overlord overlord!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)06:59 No.18322420
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    You have your man, I happen to be one of the many liberal wizards that where shunned by the old regime, my speciality happened to be Necrourgery (The application of necromancy coupled with magical technology and transmutation) and the Phantasm sub-school.

    Actually we have already started working on undead Carrying explosives and other types of bombs. We have however focused on the use of lobotomised and pacified Ghouls, and other faster undead, as the quick, and I loath to say graceful, movements of elfs are hard to mimic by a shambling corpse, even freshly killed.

    With the lack of need to breath, we've also sketched up ideas for undead used for digging under enemy forces, but they have proven much more effective when used to destabilize the earth before cavalry and in Siege enactments.
    >> Sgt Karl Straven, 17th Irregular Recon 03/14/12(Wed)07:01 No.18322439
    Maybe you could use 'em to collapse sections of forest in order to guide the elves into prepared killzones. Fields of cloudkill mines, with those new heavy crossbows firing from entrenched positions. Maybe collapse the whole field into a pit that we could fill with fire and cloudkills.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)07:03 No.18322452
    >Fields of cloudkill mines
    That doesn't really sound economically viable.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)07:04 No.18322457
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    you lookin for this pic bro
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)07:06 No.18322468
    That's an ant though, so I went for a generic one to not insult our new overlord. Who knows what he'd do if he were depicted as an ant?
    >> Talik of the Third Hand 03/14/12(Wed)07:07 No.18322472
    Ah, I'll let you in on a trick we use to get unexpected elves to stop. Hooded heavy robes and magic trinkets. Elf mages of all types wear robes for some reason or another. This covers up the body, and hinders that unique movement that have. That covers them discovering that they are indeed undead and not elves.

    However, the robes will make them expect magic; this is where the trinkets come in. They don't have to do anything fancy, or anything at all, in fact. They just have to radiate magic heavily, to the point where it mimics the aura of any living spell slinging elf. Elven casters are extremely valuable to them for whatever reason, so they WILL risk their lives in order to save any potentially wounded mages.

    With fill in the rib cages with explosives, and you have a winning recipe for suicide bombers.

    Please, do take the credit. Call it a 'stroke of brilliance' that came to you while eating lunch. Overlord knows those pencil pushers back at the capital don't like to acknowledge the any of the Thief's Hands as being useful.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)07:09 No.18322479
    Ever thought of having a human with grafted elf ears nearby to control the bomber and cast swiftness on him right before just to make it look more like a elves movement? Be hard to find willing people to get elf ears though.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)07:10 No.18322483
    Carn collective member here... Whoever sits on that throne, we are ungovernable!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)07:13 No.18322492
    Sadly their performance in tests situated in old elven forests have been unsatisfactory. The ancient thick roots keep the ground stable and slows them down.

    However, we may see appliance of much more hulking variants of "boosted" undead for levelling trees, we're thinking on apply the Caliphates use of lightning elementals to spin metal disks at high speed on a larger scale.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)07:14 No.18322496
    I heard anarchists were all secretly Queen Loyalists.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)07:15 No.18322504
    It's true. They know we're not stupid enough to go back to the queen so they're trying to get us to do something else that will weaken the Overlord.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)07:18 No.18322514
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    Hey, overlord guy.
    I'd seriously stop messing with those demons if i was you.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)07:20 No.18322525
    That makes no fucking sense. They were around before the Queen was removed and they hated her too. They have become a bit more active recently, but I think the Overlord has been sending undercover agents from the former assassin's guild to infiltrate the Collective and make them do stupid shit so he has an excuse to arrest them all.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)07:20 No.18322528
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    Ahaha, no no, nones taking credit for anyone else's work here. Such behaviour would be devastating to the morale, especially when some here was "turned on the path of evil" as much more conservative wizards would put it, by just such incidents.

    By the way, I should note that the Agency of Intelligence and Counter-Intelligence would be quite interested in men like you.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)07:21 No.18322529
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    Overlord? My, old Jimmy really has moved up in the world. I remember when we were killing goblins together to save the village nearby (well, I was doing it to better my arcane power... I think Jim just wanted power).

    Really, you leave for a few decades to walk the multiverse from the privacy of your personal demiplane and everything turns upside down in your home town. Ah well. Tell Jim I just stopped by to pick up the Soulslayer from his vaults (you know, big black metal axe, screaming skulls on it, moans with the pain of the billions it's slain over the millennia, red jewel in the pommel?). He'll have to make do with Elfskinner until I'm done taking the souls from the axe for currency.

    You wouldn't believe what a soul is worth if I can get them stored in the proper receptacles for trading. And it's not as if they can actually go anywhere once the axe has them anyway.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)07:21 No.18322533
    He doesn't need an excuse. He can arrest them if he damn well pleases, and I'd be glad to see them go.
    >> Desert elf 03/14/12(Wed)07:24 No.18322555
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    Just send in the Efreeti. No forest- no problem.
    I think we could round up other exiled elf nations.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)07:26 No.18322566
    He can arrest them if he wants to piss off a lot of people. And ALL the dwarves. Remember it was Carnites that were first on the scene to help them rebuild after the cavern collapsed on Tunnelvale a few years ago, while the Queen didn't do anything for a couple of months. For PR reasons, he needs to make them look bad if he's to arrest them.
    >> Sgt Karl Straven, 17th Irregular Recon 03/14/12(Wed)07:39 No.18322643
    Wait, so you Desert Elves have a weapon that can clear whole forests?
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)07:41 No.18322653
    It's called a holocaust of fire.
    >> Sgt Karl Straven, 17th Irregular Recon 03/14/12(Wed)07:42 No.18322662
    I want one, I want one, no I want two.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)07:45 No.18322679
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    Just refuse when they try to grant you wishes. They have notoriously poor sense of humor.
    >> Sgt Karl Straven, 17th Irregular Recon 03/14/12(Wed)07:47 No.18322683
    Can you put one in a bottle? I really don't wanna be nearby when that thing gets loose.
    >> Sergeant Folgar, 2nd Forest Division 03/14/12(Wed)07:47 No.18322684
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    I didn't hold any grudge against the nobility myself, I worked at my family bakery, they were nobles, that was how things were supposed to be, right? One night I was walking back home from the windmill when I was attacked by a huge wolf-like creature. I still don't know how I survived, but I did. When the nightmares started I was sure I was turning into a werewolf. So did my family and the rest of the town. I had to run for my life, even my own brothers wanted to kill me. So I hid in the forests.

    I'm not proud of some of the things that I did, but... I just couldn't break with my life, you know? I missed everyone. I was a wreck. With a little effort I could hear them talk about my killings, how I was a monster and the nobles were forming a hunting party to put me down. But I just couldn't leave, that was my home! I... I approached my sweet, sweet Anna. We weren't in love, but our families had arranged our marriage before... well, before any of this happened. I could see the fear in her eyes, the pain, the hate. I took her with me to the forests, to this little cave I'd been calling home for the past months. I told her it would be alright, I had stolen some chains from her father's store, I wanted to prove her I could control what was happening to me. I was wrong. I was dead wrong. I was ready to end my cursed life after that.
    >> Sergeant Folgar, 2nd Forest Division 03/14/12(Wed)07:50 No.18322700
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    Then the Overlord came for me. Well, not the Overlord himself, one of his lieutenants. His dark elf scouts tracked me down all the way to my cave. They've heard about me, they could help me with what I had become, give my life a purpose. I thought it was a signal from Heaven. I still do. The Overlord's armies needed my help. My help, can you believe it? I accepted and I'm so glad I did. I don't remember much of the war, the wizards in my regiment took me apart and forced the Beast to come out during daylight or nights without full moon. I remember the confusion, waking up covered in blood, surrounded by dead bodies and with meat between my teeth. Me and my pack, we bring the fight to the enemy, you know? We hunt them down in their sacred forests, we gather info for the infantry and sometimes we even join the Light Infantry to repeal the dreaded bear cavalry.

    My unit appreciates me, most are werew- sorry, lycanthropes like myself. After the war the rest of the army stopped looking at us with fear, now there are respect in their eyes, sometimes even gratefulness. We've saved many lifes out there thanks to our wizards. They are the ones making sure we don't get too wild in the battlefield or in the barracks during a full moon. We got chaplains we can go talk with about our nightmares and our hunger for human flesh. We even got freshly hunted raw meat for us at the canteen. I'm a valued Sergeant, condecorated for the Battle of Medavog (I hated that damn swamp, I'll always feel in debt with the lizardmen for what they did there) and I won a Red Skull medal for slaughtering an entire gnome regiment, machines and everything. I don't remember anything of it, but apparently I'm a hero now.
    >> Sergeant Folgar, 2nd Forest Division 03/14/12(Wed)07:52 No.18322715
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    For my deeds, the Overlord has granted me land in the western mountains. Sometimes I go there, between campaigns. I have a little two-story house, with a chimney and everything. I was afraid my new neighbours would react to my presence with fear and hate, and some did, to be honest, but other saw my uniform, my condecorations, and I could see something else... approval. Two nights later, a little orc girl (her family new in town just like me) came to my house to bring me a pie her mother had just made for me. I'm not ashamed to say I cried.

    The Overlord has my loyalty for the rest of eternity. I've already signed off to have my body recovered by the army necrom- doctors if I die in battle and used in experiments to create undead lycanthropes.

    Gentlemen, it's a pleasure to fight by your side.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)07:53 No.18322723
    Trapping an Efreet like that is the best way to ensure that once they're done burning everything in sight they return. They respect fire-worshippers and follow contracts, so we can send in scholars and pyromancers.
    >> Sgt Karl Straven, 17th Irregular Recon 03/14/12(Wed)07:54 No.18322729
    The honor is mine Sergeant.
    >> Totally a spy 03/14/12(Wed)07:58 No.18322741
    everyone! i found the rebels!

    they conspire against the Overlord as we speak!
    they will only be here for a few more minutes.
    (I think they have begun to suspect me)

    They are here >>18322290
    quick strike now before they flee!
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)08:03 No.18322764
    <god modding like a motherfucker aren't you? how exactly did you slip past an entire continent of enemy lines into a heavily guarded council, hm? I see you have no spirit for keeping things interesting, and actually playing the two sides against eachother... pity.>
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)08:04 No.18322769
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    >Boar hunting drunk
    >> Talik of the Third Hand 03/14/12(Wed)08:14 No.18322818
    I've seen the work of lycanthropes. Can't say I'll ever get a stomach for seeing a camp torn to shreds like that, but I will say you people are damn effective, and I'm glad we have those like you flush them out before we clean'em up.

    You ever need something, off-duty or on, contact any of the 3rd Hand. Our CO has a lycan for a brother, and we owe him our lives for when he sniffed out an ambush waiting for us to set up camp.

    Do not, however, contact the 5th Hand. Five hands, five thieves is how it should be. But the 5th Hand is not a group of thieves; they're bandits who just happen to know how to pick locks. Same goes to you, Sgt. Straven. All of the Thief's Hands are loyal to the Overlord first, coin purse second, but word in the shadows says the 5th Hand may be selling caravan positions to Loyalist bandits.
    >> Anonymous 03/14/12(Wed)08:16 No.18322832
    War with Elves. Orcish allience. This nigga for 2012
    >> Captain Argo Betts 03/14/12(Wed)09:35 No.18323296
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    Discipline is fantastic and the new measures our new Leader has implemented have drilled my troops from under equipped country folk dying pointlessly in border conflicts with our southern neighbors into hardened and well-equipped legionaries a marked change since the squabbling in the Queen's court prevented funding of any kind from reaching all us ex-cons down south. I haven't seen a damned desert folk raiding party for the better part of two months since we demonstrated we can actually not only keep pace with them but give them a whoopin they won't soon forget. Those duneriders never seen so many bolts comin their way and by the time all their camels were writhing around in the sand we were on em with our axes. With the new big man up north we have uniforms that are practical while under the gaze of the unforgiving sun. Life in the Southland legions has never been better, I only wish I got ta kill them northy tree-huggin bastards. Hail Overlord and keep up the good works. As we say in the Southlands Legion, Ostendo non Ostento, just wish I could show you men the good works down here.

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