alright but lets kick it up a notch
when they sting you they inject you with nanowasps that eat your flesh from the inside out but they make sure to do it painlessly. then after they have grown they fly out of your body and sting the fuck out of anyone nearby. only way people can stay away from you before you become a fucking bug bomb is if they hear a buzzing in your voice in the early stages or if they can see that your skin is moving in the late.

>>18570034

>>18570034
>when they sting you they inject you with nanowasps that eat your flesh from the inside out but they make sure to do it painlessly.

>they make sure to do it painlessly.

Fucking pussies.

4-point-fucking-0 on the Schmidt Pain Index, bitches.

Paralyze motherfuckers from pain alone, no actual paralytics required.

The insect world is a pretty fucked up place.

What's so scary about a wasp? Its kind of cute. Now a spider on the other hand.
Or flying scorpions. Or those boxes jellyfish from Australia.

Anything you find in Australia would be right at home on a deathworld

What if there are bugs wich polinates you to make more you?

>>18570085

You've never heard of velvet ants.
[spoilers]They aren't ants. They aren't ants at all.[/spoiler]

>>18570085
Box jellyfish are small time
The irukandji jellyfish is about the size of a peanut and kills by literally causing so much pain it shuts it's victims body down

>>18570107
Those things are cute. Nearly unkillable but cute

>>18570107
Mutillidae are a family of more than 3,000 species of wasp whose wingless females resemble ants. Their common name velvet ant refers to their dense pile of hair which most often is bright scarlet or orange but may also be black, white, silver, or gold. Their bright colours serve as aposematic signals. They are known for their extremely painful sting, facetiously said to be strong enough to kill a cow.

>Strong enough to kill a cow.
>Jesus fuking christ
>how horrofying

Meglagara Garuda... (I don't even need to explain this one. pic related).

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2012/03/120327-new-species-wasps-king-bugs-indonesia-animals
-science/

JESUS CHRIST.

Asian giant hornet

Brazilian Wandering Spider

Sydney Funnel-web spider

Tarantula hawk-wasps, I suppose (if they weren't as docile as they are IRL)

Bullet ants

Deathstalker scorpion

Heteroptyx dilata (malaysian/jungle nymph)

>>18570121
Irukandji is the one I'm talking about. Isn't Irukandji the same thing as a box jellyfish?
Also saw a documentary on it once. The guy filming them go down and got shock. The scene of him crying and begging to die in the hospital is horrifying. Would make a wonderful weapon.
>>18570107
>Wasp with "Fur"
That's adorable. With colour as well.

>>18570185
Nah box are bigger and painful but still relatively mild compared to some of the shit they have down there.

It can kill as opposed to the irukandji's will kill or make you kill yourself

>>18570185
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irukandji_jellyfish
Can't post pictures off an iPad
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Box_jellyfish

>>18570085

Ichneumon wasps have a polydnavirus encoded in their genome as a symbiote, so when the wasp stings its caterpillar host and lays her eggs within, the virus will get to work and disable the immune system of the caterpillar, ensuring that the wasp eggs can develop in peace.

They command designer viruses.

In addition, Ichneumon mandibles and stingers are tipped with layers of metals, making their tips able to drill straight through wood. Or armor.

Ichneumon species are slowly becoming cyborg wasps, having long ago surpassed the capabilities of simple organic meat and flesh and moved on to the purity and perfection of alloyed weapons and germ warfare.

Ichneumon wasps are parasitoid; they lay their eggs in live larvae of other species. To reach these species, they can bore through solid wood with their metal stingers, and as larvae they chew their way through both host organism and chew their way straight out with their metal mandibles. For these reason, and for their pure, vicious perfection at their niche, it was the Ichneumon wasps that finally utterly convinced Charles Darwin that there is not, could not be, a loving God. Not even an all-powerful all-loving God; even a somewhat influential nice guy God is not compatible with a universe containing Ichneumon wasps, for he would resist the emergence of such an abomination with all of his divine power.

Though Arachnophobia runs rampant throughout the human race, n spider in the entire history of the Earth has ever inspired that level of pure existential dread, that crisis and loss of faith.

Ichneumonoidea range in size from less than a centimeter to 6 inches in length. They are as long as a flying human penis.

Imagine it. A flying metal penis drilling straight through solid wood in order to fill you with demon-seed.

And remember.

You are alive when they eat you.

>>18570121
>Irukandji syndrome is produced by a small amount of venom and includes severe pains at various parts of the body (typically excruciating muscle cramps in the arms and legs, severe pain in the back and kidneys, a burning sensation of the skin and face), headaches, nausea, restlessness, sweating, vomiting, an increase in heart rate and blood pressure, and psychological phenomena such as the feeling of impending doom.

>the feeling of impending doom.

Mother of God...

>>18570290
Flying metal penises are both hilarious and horrifying

>>18570295
Makes you wonder why anyone goes swimming down there right?

>>18570290
>Members of the family Ichneumonidae are usually larger than members of the Braconidae, and are distinguished primarily by details of wing venation. Many species in both families utilize polydnaviruses to suppress the immune system of the host insect.
A flying metal penis full of AIDS, no less.

>>18570214
>>18570253
Ah alright. Thanks.
>>18570290
>Imagine it. A flying metal penis drilling straight through solid wood in order to fill you with demon-seed.
...That's kinda sex-
>You are alive when they eat you.
NOPE. NOPE TO THE HIGEST DEGREE.

>>18570295
I haven't been stung myself, but a friend of mine who lives in the NT has. It's just as bad as it sounds, if not worse.

>The severity of the pain from an Irukandji jellyfish sting is apparent in the 2005 Discovery Channel documentary Killer Jellyfish[20] about Carukia barnesi, when two Australian researchers (Jamie Seymour and Teresa Carrette) are stung. Even under the "maximum dose of morphine," Teresa remarked that she "wished she could rip her skin off," and is later seen writhing uncontrollably from the pain while lying on her hospital bed. In one scene, Teresa's feet are shown contorting and digging into the bed, and she is wiggling her toes and kicking her feet around. When the camera moves back, Teresa is seen rubbing her face, her body is contorting in agony, and her legs are rapidly sliding and kicking around on the bed. Jamie, at his worst, is also seen writhing in pain, curled up in a ball and barely able to speak. Jamie said he wished that he was stung by Chironex fleckeri instead since "the pain goes away in 20 minutes or you die."

>On the television program Super Animal, a woman compared her pain from childbirth to her experience with Irukandji syndrome: "It's like when you're in labor, having a baby, and you've reached the peak of a contraction—that absolute peak—and you feel like you just can't do it anymore. That's the minimum that [Irukandji] pain is at, and it just builds from there."

What bugs me more than anything else about wasps are the parasite kids.

Fuck man, that just ain't right.

>>18570290

>Virus-packed, parasitic cyborgs
>that fly

Welp, I'd like to think humanity had a good run.

Also,
>Phyrexia

>>18570437

You have a problem with our culture?

As if your species is one to talk.

Bigot.

>>18570387
>Even under the "maximum dose of morphine," Teresa remarked that she "wished she could rip her skin off," and is later seen writhing uncontrollably from the pain while lying on her hospital bed.

>That's the minimum that [Irukandji] pain is at, and it just builds from there.

>a feeling of impending doom

Imagine a tribe of pygmies who poison their darts with the stings of the Irukandji. Your players would love it.

No army ants? Imagine a writhing mass of ruthless carnivores, each one about the size of a rat, flowing under or over you, ripping apart anything and anyone not mobile enough to get into a bunker or skyscraper.

Intestinal worms, but eventually they go carnivorous. They leave you alive as long as possible, for reasons known only to Lucifer himself.

>>18570387
>a woman compared her pain from childbirth to her experience with Irukandji syndrome
>It's like when you're in labor, having a baby, and you've reached the peak of a contraction—that absolute peak—and you feel like you just can't do it anymore.
>That's the minimum
>minimum
>MINIMUM
Fuck Australia and everything near it.

>>18570484
You know, if it wasn't for the chestbursting, I wouldn't really mind the whole "facerape and esophagus impregnation" thing. Heck, it might've been kind of hot, since you all have ridiculously phallic heads and are a living walking allegory of violent sex/rape. But when the violent interracial bug sex leads to people's chests exploding open due to being raped from the inside out by a giant toothed penis worm, and their subsequent dying, I just have to draw a line, that's not contingent with the three S's of Safe, Sane and conSensual.

Just... It's wrong.

Nonetheless, have my phone number.

>>18570524

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarantula_hawk

Look, Cazadores.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irukandji_syndrome

>In 1964, Jack Barnes confirmed that the cause of the syndrome was a sting from a small box jellyfish: the Irukandji jellyfish, which can fire venom-filled stingers out of its body and into passing victims. In order to prove that the jellyfish was the cause of the syndrome, he captured one and deliberately stung himself, his son, and a local lifeguard, and observed the symptoms.

>>18570528
>Just... It's wrong.
Awfully insensitive of you to judge how I raise my kids.

>>18570608
Get back in your cage, you overgrown baby-maker. I need my hunting kicks and you're not pumping those things out fast enough.

For your perusal
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullet_Ant
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Army_Ant
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Africanized_bee
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tree_weta
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_bot_fly
Fuck this bug-infested earth.

Conus Geographus. Murder snail with telescopic rapestinger, fuck yeah.

>>18570651
Screw you, wetas are awesome. They're mostly harmless, too.

>>18570673
But they do fulfill the "Terrifyingly hard to kill" and "Fucking terrifying" clauses of death world life. Two out of three works for me.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stonefish

Behold, I bring you Mother Nature's smiley face.

Is there NOTHING in or around Australia that isn't fucking terrifying?

>>18570682
well... some of the sheep are quite docile.

>>18570646

It's interesting that the Alien's face is clearly a penis and the Predator's face is clearly a vagina, and yet it is the Predator that is a tool-using, technologically savvy hunter with a meaty masculine body, whereas the Xenomorphs are eusocial queen-oriented hive creatures with slender feminine bodies and a "culture," if you can call it that, revolving around pregnancy.

It's as if the movies are saying "vaginas are manly, penises are feminine."

>>18570682
Huntsman spiders?

>>18570608
I'm just saying that raising your children to commit chest-rape-murder isn't conducive to a healthy young mind. Can't they just, I don't know, go out one end or another of the digestive tract?

>>18570646
And look at this. Domestic violence? Involving ritualistic killing? That's terrible. You two need to see a marriage counselor.

>>18570698
About 25%, in fact. When you approach an australian sheep, just remember, one time out of four, it's totally harmless. Totally....harmless.

>>18570704
>spiders that can grow bigger than a human hand
>harmless
>NOPE.JPG

I'm so glad I live in Europe where nothing really wants to kill people.

>>18570682

They have some lovely species of trees and other plants, but a number of them are poisonous so be careful.

>>18570078
Oh fuck. Those bastards are the reason I'm never visiting Tokyo in the summer. Ever. Winter only for me.

>>18570651
This is why I like urbanization. Less chance of seeing these thing in human-filled area.
>>18570682
Those thing are deadly? I always thought they were harmless fish that just stay hidden. Fuuuuu
>>18570707
Even the sheep are dangerous?

>>18570711
>>I'm so glad I live in Europe where nothing really wants to kill people.
>>Nothing really wants to kill people
Ach, ah'll beatchoor 'ed in ya daft Englishman, fer sayin we scoots don't wanna kill ye!

>>18570682
The peaceful Dugong and some sea turtles.

>>18570682

We also have the worlds most venomous snake. A single bite is enough to kill over a hundred adult men or something like that.

Poor Inland Taipan, he never gets mentioned in threads like these.

>>18570701

No the predator was a last minute costume change because what they had before sucked. The aliens were movies based on rape and mindfucking the primarily male audience, so its not so specific of a message as it is just part of the total mindfuck experience.

>>18570719
>>Even the sheep are dangerous?
Sheep and cows are both surprisingly deadly if you piss them off. People die every year because they pissed off a bull or ram, got caught under a stampede, or got that little bit too close to a group of calves/lambs. Not sure how many, but yeah, you don't fuck with livestock if you know what's good for you, which is why cow-tipping is typically done in the dead of night and stone drunk.

>>18570719
You see this fucker up here: >>18570078?
He lives in urbanized areas.

>>18570711
>Europe
>where nothing really wants to kill people.
You forgot about the Europeans.

>>18570719

Stone fish do stay hidden, hidden with roughly a bucket of some of the world's most potent venom.

>>18570711

Actually there were at one point in time, but Europeans killed them all first. Now the only thing Europeans need to worry about having try to kill them are other people.

>>18570742

>>18570085
>>18570107
I used to catch velvet ants in summer camp, A friend of mine for his experiment in summer camp managed to scoop up an entire anthill and throw it into an aquarium with a shovel and frantic scooping.

I caught a velvet ant in an empty gatorade bottle by slamming the open lid on it and scooping it up.

They chirp by the way, weirdest thing.

So my friend gets the idea to pit a velvet ant against his anthill after his project was over. Seemed like a cool idea.

We threw the velvet ant into the anthill in the glass aquarium and all hell broke loose in that tiny enclosed space.

The damn velvet ant ran around in circles covered in fire ants desperately trying to sting and bite it to death for about half a goddamn hour. The whole while it was ripping the other ants in two like you would not believe.

Its armor was far too thick for the fire ants to handle, it was faster and stronger as well by virtue of its size and my god did that stinger look intimidating.

After the half hour of slaughter was over, the velvet and finally died twitching with about a hundred dead fire ants either ripped to pieces or clipped in half twitching on the ground around it.

The whole time we were watching I couldn't help but wonder what the fire ants might be thinking as this Goliath among them tore through their numbers. I had another one in reserve, but I didn't have the heart to give them a round two, I don't think the ant colony would have survived.

I remember something from my childhood, /tg/. I want to share it with you.

We lived in a part of Idaho infested with wasps. Big, dangerous yellowjackets.

One year, we had some live in a tree in front of my house. I accidentally pissed them off, and ran for it.

It stung me several times. My stepfather was on the porch.

My stepfather saw them coming for me. He stepped in front, and they went for him.

I'll never forget for the rest of my life what happened.

He stood there, and he punched the wasps. Bap! I've never seen someone's hands move so fast. He punched, and slapped, and knocked them out of the air one after the other. This wasn't uncontrolled flailing - he was carefully punching a swarm of wasps to death.

I saw some fall, and then get back up and go for him again. Again, he'd punch them. This happened over and over again until they were all still. Then, we went and stepped on them.

I knew my stepfather had studied martial arts when he was young, and new a lot of them. But that was the first time I saw them. When it was done, he did not have a single sting.

That is the story of how my stepfather punched a swarm of wasps to death with his bare hands, and saved me.

I love my stepfather. He is awesome.

>>18570757
>>That velvet ant's face when

>>18570680
So do cockroaches. They're not so bad.

Though I do actually have a story for you guys. Now, this is kind of a "my brother's cousin's friend said..." kind of thing, but bear with me. (My dad told me this one, and an Air Force buddy of his told it to him.)

Now, any milfags here can probably tell you a thing or two about Officer Training School. You stay there for 90 days, and any student that's been there longer than you is your superior. This being the military, hazing is common.

One certain Officer Training School happens to be in Texas. Now, the food at OTS isn't the best. It's cafeteria food. And among the meals you can have there is barbecued beef. Now, the barbecue sauce happens to have sugar in it. Roaches like sugar, so they climb onto the underside of the screen separating the hungry students from the kitchen workers. Of course, this gets rather hot. This results in the roaches passing out and falling into the sauce.

Now, I mentioned hazing. Sometimes, a bored senior student will go up to one of the freshmen and ask him what he had for lunch. If the younger student responds with barbecued beef, the senior will ask if it... crunched. Oftentimes, the freshman will respond in the affirmative. The next question of course, is /should/ barbecued beef crunch? At this point the senior simply walks off, singing "La cucaracha, la cucaracha..."

>>18570737
>He lives in urbanized areas

So does this guy. Nowhere is safe.

>>18570764
So there you have it. A bit of a campfire story, but at least it'll provide some relief from the horrors shown in this thread.

>>18570735
Oh wow. It seem everything in this world can kill be use to kill human one way or another.
>>18570737
As I said before. Wasp doesn't really scare me since they're cute.
>>18570748
>a bucket of some of the world's most potent venom.
TIME FOR SCIENCE.
>but Europeans killed them all first
Glorious. Make me wonder how many creature from myths is actually a deadly creature that got hunted into extinction by bored nobles.

all this stinging and venom and shit... and no rending claws? no razor sharp teeth? no tearing muscles? come on now, there are many different colors of death. Expand your palette

>>18570762
Your stepfather is a badass.

>IIT: Welcome to Australia

>>18570774
In that case, Gentlemen, I present to you the grolar bear. Cross-breeds of polar bears and grizzlies, these fuckers have all the size, power, and aggressiveness of polar bears and grizzlies, in an all-climate, 100% carnivorous package. Oh, and they're totally not sterile and can breed with themselves. And they're projected to be in the US soon. Sweet dreams.

>>18570762
that is quite badass.

>>18570772

The Nemean Lion from the Labors of Hercules was probably based upon the European Lion, by all accounts a fairly large fellow who was hunted to death by stone age human societies.

>>18570762
This is the most amazing thing I've read all day.

It's like something I'd find on Badass of the Week.

Punching wasps to death. Not a single sting.

Fuck.

>>18570757
>>18570757
By the way, something about earth

>Snakes that hide camouflaged that can murder you with a single bit in minutes
>Jellyfish that can murder you from a single sting in minutes
>Giant carnivorous fish and cephalopods living in the ocean alongside these creatures
>Bears that are strong enough to rip trees from the ground
>Wolves that stalk you and hunt in packs
>Tigers that can perform spinal surgery with their teeth
>Swarms of flying insects that can murder you and will chase you for miles
>insects that lay their eggs in you that can eat your brains and organs from the inside out
>Giant lizards that lie in the waters edge and wait to grab you and drown you, their bite is so full of pathogens you'd die within days of getting bit
>Millions of deadly and venemous insects no larger than your finger
>Fish that swim up your urethra and shoot poisonous barbs

>Water that is full of bacteria and pathogens that can make you shit yourself to death
>Plants who's fruit is enough to kill you in minutes of ingesting

>Lakes that can boil you alive
>entire stretches of land that are nothing but inhospitable desert
>millions of dangerous viruses and diseases

Your face when you realize Earth could be a deathworld. We have just fought and scienced it into submission.

>>18570791
all the more reason to stop global warming from sending polar bears down to fuck grizzlies

>>18570791

Those bears have already been found in Alaska.
Here is how they have been found:
Alaskans shoot them.

Dangerous insects are many times scarier than angry bears, because they're harder to notice and shoot.

>>18570762

I can do that, in fact that in particular is a skill I picked up after fucking with one to many yellowjackets, in part it has to do with how they fly they always stop and hover for a second and at this points they are fairly susceptible to strikes, also they don't really seem to try to doge that much.

>>18570791
Eh. I carry an EAA Witness 10mm all the time.
The Government of Denmark has issued the Glock 20 pistol chambered for the 10mm Auto cartridge to members of the Sirius Patrols in Greenland. The pistols were issued as a defense against polar bears which the patrols encounter.
And I'm a damn good shot.
Bring 'em on.

>>18570786
South America says your spiders are pussies, because they don't have venom that makes your dick explode.

They have dick-exploding wandering spiders that live in cities. They have fish that swim up your dickhole and have needle-spines. They have snakes which will bite your dick. They have botflies that will lay eggs in your dick and leave it a mass of writhing, spiny maggots.

South America hates your dick, and wishes to ruin it. Australians haven't got shit on that.

>>18570798
There is no environment on Earth that will make all men say: "I will not go there."

>>18570798
You forgo hippos.

>>18570791
Furthermore, I present to you the single most common, vicious, fearless, and fast-breeding predator on modernized Earth.
Fact: Dogs breed extremely quickly, bouncing back easily from any and all depopulation attempt.
Fact: Dogs have no fear of humans, period.
Fact: Dogs can run faster and probably farther than you. Some can jump fences in a single bound.
Fact: Dogs can, will, and do eat humans when convenient.
Fact: Feral dogs enjoy a rabies pandemic. If a feral dog bites you, better than even odds it had rabies and will not stop until you kill it, and then you better get your ass to the doctor quick.
Fact: Dogs hunt in packs, which means if they don't like you, you are out-fucking-numbered and they will be attacking you from the sides and behind.
Fact: They can literally smell your fear.

>>18570793
>who was hunted to death by stone age human societies.
HFY.
>>18570774
I don't know a death by being ripped apart or eaten doesn't sound as bad as being poison or eaten from the inside to death.
>>18570798
>Lakes that can boil you alive
What. This sound interesting.

>>18570798
Earth is a deathworld.
We have conquered it.
HUMANITY! FUCK YEAH!

>>18570798
This is why I love humanity. We fought Mother Nature, and we kicked her ass. God damn, technology is awesome.

>>18570829
And we keep them in our purses.

>>18570772
"Australian fauna? Ah, yes, we did have something like that. Ten times bigger. You know why Rome really fell apart? Yeah, you've got the idea. And yet now there's nothing left."

>>18570798
you forgot
>fungal spores that slowly take control of your mind and makes you climb stuff so when it consumes you from the inside out its spores get blown away by the wind
cordyceps fungus. never go outside again.

>>18570836

Only her children. She could take us with her anytime she wants.

>>18570719
>>18570719
Stonefish are the deadliest type of fish in the world, and have one of the most potent neurotoxins in the animal kingdom. I think only the platypus might be worse in effect.

>However, it produces excruciating pain which may be intense enough to incapacitate the victim. Swelling rapidly develops around the entry wound and gradually spreads outwards. Information obtained from case studies shows that the pain develops into a long-lasting hyperalgesia that can persist for months but usually lasts from a few days to a few weeks.[3][8] A clinical report from 1992 showed that the severe pain was persistent and did not respond to morphine.

It's not lethal, but is so bad that morphine doesn't work. As in, at all. And it goes on for weeks while you're paralysed. In some cases, you have to actually sever the nerve endings to stop the pain, and it can randomly start hurting again years afterward.

>>18570711
Europe has several venomous reptiles, and several dangerous (though rarely encountered) mammals, including:

Asp Vipers
Common Adders
Long Nosed Adders
Polar Bears
Wild Boars

....

Okay, yeah, Europe doesn't have shit on anyone when it comes to dangerous animals.

I encounter more dangerous shit on my 20 minute drive to work.

Texas: we're like a less dangerous, more humid baby version of Australia! Except without Giant Stinging Trees.

Fuck that shit.

Seriously Australia. Get your shit together and destroy the tree that has tiny daggers for hair, and has absolutely no purpose other than to be a giant microdagger spewing lung shredder.

>>18570819
Correction, plenty of environments scare people away.

But there is always a human somewhere that will look at the most dangerous spot to live and say "I could make this work"

We're omnivores, we survive because we can eat a rather broad selection of food. We have no niche because our ability is acquiring new abilities. Humans are the ultimate generalist species on earth, and that is why we will probably outlast any other species on earth. We will either compete them into extinction or just outlast them by virtue of our ability to adapt. Our tech has just given us a massive leg up.

>>18570836
"That's the thing that you aliens just don't get. You all come from worlds where you have everything you need to succeed. If a planet is a mother, then you all had the greatest, most understanding and loving mothers imaginable. Whereas us Humans, our mother, Earth, she was an abusive druggie bitch. We had to fight for everything we got. And then the only way for us to get out from under her thumb, was to kill her ourselves. So fuck you and your whining about us "stealing your planet away from you". Your mother is our slut now, and don't you forget it you little green skinned fag."

>>18570851

Or that parasite that eats the fish's tongues and replace them (even though it's almost "harmless" as the fish will still be able to use the parasite in his mouth as a substitution tongue)

>>18570862
>Correction, plenty of environments scare people away.

>But there is always a human somewhere that will look at the most dangerous spot to live and say "I could make this work"

That's more-or-less what I said.

>>18570866
>>18570851
>damnnautreyouscary.png

>>18570816
>implying funnelwebs aren't the Terminators of the spider world

And yes, they are not only covered in a kind of armour and can bite right through shoes and toenails (and survive in the water for several hours), but they will actively come after you.

'sides, Australia has cassowaries. Fucking dinosaur birds. Remember the raptors in Jurassic Park? Like that, except with feathers.

>>18570811
I didn't know there was a trick to it. I've never replicated that trick, and don't want to get the opportunity to try. Still, it became an inspiration to me. Since then, I've grown up and traveled all around the world, and seen a lot of deadly creatures. I don't make a habit of killing them (except spiders), but none of it scares me now. I've seen and killed rattlesnakes, camel spiders, persian fat-tail scorpions, and a lot of others. I've run into bears and managed to leave without either side dying. I go mountain climbing and occasionally see cougars.

And honestly? I regret not one bit of it.

The only thing that freaks me out are things like botflies and parasites. Anything else in this world, thanks to his example, I'm no longer afraid of. In the end, they'll all die to a shoe or bullet.

>>18570869

Pic related

>tfw you have a sentient tongue

>>18570830
>>Lakes that can boil you alive
>What. This sound interesting.
In America, there is a place called "Yellowstone National Park."

Some of the open pools are merely quite warm and pleasant. So some rangers or locals in the know will occasionally go to such pools in the middle of the night.

This is a story that I learned about why volunteers and rangers and everyone else should never ever do that.

One day, a group of young stupid people went to spend a night with some beer and some hot springs.

One of their number went off to piss.

He thought he returned to their selected, human-tolerable hot spring.

He was off by exactly eight feet. He didn't see his comrades in the darkness, but he heard them.

He immediately pulled himself out of this other hot spring, but the damage had been done; you see, the mineral concentration in the water raises the liquid's boiling point, and his particular pool had quite the concentration. The liquid there was many, many degrees above the boiling point of water.

As his friends turned on the light, he had time only to say "I feel--" and then his legs gave out. Not like buckling at the knee.

The protein structures in his lower legs had denatured. His ligaments and actin filaments and intercellular structures more or less melted.

He survived to tell the story and had taken a number of gruesome photographs of what it looks like when your limbs literally melt off.

You should volunteer at Yellowstone. They're pretty sure the volcano there is way way overdue for it's next big one, which they think should be powerful enough to do a pretty decent number on global technological civilization.

>>18570891
>>They're pretty sure the volcano there is way way overdue for it's next big one, which they think should be powerful enough to do a pretty decent number on global technological civilization.
Sounds like a job for Bruce Willis, Matt Damon, Samuel L Jackson, Keith David, and Will Smith in a summer blockbuster.

>>18570887
i... i don't like this thread

>>18570887
That would be awesome to have in certain situations.

The truly ironic thing is that OP's picture is of a male cicada killer wasp, which is one of the least threatening thing ever (although it does look threatening). It will buzz around you, but it's trying to figure out if you're something it can fuck.

>>18570903

Yes

>>18570849
>Ten times bigger
The idea is just horrifying. A 10X size ant moving around eating people. So glad the asteroid hit Earth and force all the bugs to turn smaller.
>>18570851
Still think this is the best idea for a weapon ever. Release one of this on a population center and watch it kill itself from the inside.
>>18570859
So the worst part is you can't stop the pain and it goes on forever. Nature is fill with torture tool just waiting to be use.
>>18570887
"Oh. Hi there"
>>18570891
>The liquid there was many, many degrees above the boiling point of water.
>he had time only to say "I feel--" and then his legs gave out. Not like buckling at the knee.
I'm never going near any natural water source ever again. Goddamn the only thing left that doesn't kill you is the air and I'm sure that somewhere it's poison.

>>18570911
>It will buzz around you, but it's trying to figure out if you're something it can fuck.

This is what alien species are going to say about us. And the answer will always be yes.

>>18570911
>but it's trying to figure out if you're something it can fuck.
...uh, what happens if it decides the answer is "yes"?

>>18570826
>>18570851
>>18570866
I forgot a few things, but yes, I know about these.

>Fungal spores that silently eat your lungs and make you cough up blood
>giant amphibious creatures that crush you to death not to eat you, but to prove a point
>tiny amphibious creatures that kill you just by skin contact that can leap 10ft in an instant
>water currents that drag you under and drown you
>90% of all that water being undrinkable without treatment lest it give you kidney failure
>The star that brings us life can also kill you if you are exposed to it for too long, bringing cancer and sunstroke
>Parasites in the water that grow ten meters long in your intestines that eat your food before your body can absorb it
>Swarms of millions of tiny venomous insects that eat you and your food in the dead of night (driver ants, look them up, also called siafu)
>Giant hoofed and horned animals that are considered docile foodbeasts by us that can trample, kick, and gore people to death, strong enough to crash through strong metal barriers.
>Creatures we deign tame enough to ride, strong enough to kick and trample us to death. We reinforce their hooves with iron.
>fish that look like stones with near perfect camouflage that kill unintentionally by brushing against you.
>Giant land dwelling lizards with poisonous bite

Puffer fish get a special mention in my book because they are harmless looking fish. Their meat if not specially prepared can kill you with a potent neurotoxin.

>>18570927
Then you're fucked.

>>18570911
AND THEN IT WILL FUCK YOU WITH ITS POISON ASSHOLE

>>18570793
Lions persisted in Europe until at least the Greek Classical Period.

>>18570919
/r/ing the Humanity Fuck Yeah about how humans are special because they can fall in love with, fuck, and impregnate or be impregnated by, ANYTHING IN THE GALAXY, as it seems approtpriate.

>>18570932
>Fungal spores that silently eat your lungs and make you cough up blood

It would be worse if they did it noisily.

>>18570175
"But the fates of these species—including the newfound wasp—are in jeopardy. Since the 1960s forests in the region have been increasingly leveled to plant several types of crops."

Oh gee, too bad.

[spoiler]I think I know where the US can dump all of its leftover Agent Orange[/spoiler]

>>18570932
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candiru

>>18570949
I think my balls and dick are level with my lungs about now.

>>18570918

Poison air? be careful around volcanic regions carbon dioxide and sulfur can be release in high enough concentrations to kill. Also there are certain lakes that have large amounts of carbon dioxide that builds up in them, and is then released all at once suffocating everyone in a fairly sizable area miles away from the lake. Though I don't know of any of those outside of africa.

>Imagine it. A flying metal penis drilling straight through solid wood in order to fill you with demon-seed.

>>ITT: The natural world hates you and wants you dead. Fuck Nature right in the butthole.

>>18570949
Reminds me of a Goa'uld from Stargate

>>18570949
Saw that thing when I watch River Monsters. Eating you from inside out. Never near natural water source ever again.
Also there's that carp that swallow human whole. Dorf Fort isn't so far off.
>>18570960
Well I know about the volcanic region but lakes too? I'm waiting for a life onboard space ship now.

>>18570963
You mean something like this, but aimed at your anus?

>>18570918
>and I'm sure that somewhere it's poison.
Yellowstone again.

See, the mineral springs make subterrenean caves, and these caves are frequently filled with boiling hot mineral spring waters. So if you step in the wrong place, the ground you step on might give out and drop you into a cave full of burning boiling pain.

But sometimes the surface rock giving way just drops you into a place where the mineral springs once caved the place out, but cooled down or drained the liquid to somewhere else, but the air in the cave has never been connected to any surface air.

So it's full of sulfur dioxide.

You might think that having fallen into the cave would mean that the sulfur dioxide would rush out of the hole and into the atmosphere until the sulfur dioxide and normal air were at equal concentrations on both sides of the hole but, you see, it's heavier than air. So it moves slowly and is very reluctant to move up and out of the cave.

So it just burns your lungs and kills you to death instead.

These threads are why I'm afraid of everything /tg/. Curse you.

The catachan death worlder codex back in 3rd ed actually gave you a bestiary.

Does anyone have a scan of that?

One of the things in it was a "spiner" which was a plant-like thing about 6 feet tall that was covered in fuck-huge needles. If you got stung by these needles, you'd get poisoned and feel pretty lethargic. Well shit that doesn't so bad right?

Then you start getting fuzzy all over your skin and eventually just collapse, at which point the spikes tart to grow all over your body, feeding upon your delicious nutrition.

The best part is that it can do this to shit like Catachan Devils or the Scorpions the size of Lemun Russes.

>haven't slept in three days
>turn off lights
>listen to debussy (he makes me sleep sometimes)
>snuggle in
>sleepily wander to /tg/
>this thread
>covers off
>lights on
welp

>>18570980
Fucking Yellowstone. Pretty sure it's a national park because no one sane wants to live there.

>>18570975


Oh further note, at least one of these lakes also has high levels of methane, higher than the carbon dioxide, and that lake is over a volcano, a volcano no one knew about until recently. One thing people are doing right now is trying to pump out the methane so that when the volcano erupts the lake doesn't release it and then ignite. The amount of methane is roughly enough to cause damage more similar to a nuclear blast.

>>18570980
So, uh, about that supervolcano apocalypse.

Is there any conceivable way we can force it to NOT EXPLODE CATASTROPHICALLY and cover the entire Earth in a cloud of molten dusty death? To cool and calm the raging pit of fuck, deep below the surface, down?

>>18570991
Nah, TR just wanted to preserve the one place on Earth that could provide a challenge to his endless manliness.

>>18570987
That sounds very threatening, but again. We have things that do something similar, except its invisible.

The fungi that gets under your skin and eats your eyes. Without assistance, you either starve to death, die by dehydration, or are eaten by any of the previously mentioned creatures without even the ability to see whats killing you.

>>18570927
Are you a female cicada killer wasp? If not, I don't think you have a problem.

>>18570980

Don't step off of the marked paths at Yellowstone. And when there are wooden platforms for visitors, for the love of God don't step off of the wood platforms. Keep your eyes on your children at all times and do not let your children step off of the wood platforms. Do not feed the bears. The wolves are not your friends. Do not litter as the smell of human on your trash will draw the bears and wolves. Do not play with matches anywhere, not just in the forest, as various sulfides which are virtually omnipresent can sometimes be incendiary. Do not touch the water. Do not go off the marked paths. Do not go off the marked paths. Do NOT go off the marked paths. And finally, for the love of all that is holy, do not go off the marked paths.

Have fun at Yellowstone National Park, one of nature's most beautiful locations.

>>18571003

his spirit still wanders the grounds, some say that its it fighting back the super volcano from exploding

if its true pray he never falters in his eternal struggle

>>18571003
how about the knife field of madagascar?
and... the strid

>>18570980
>>18570999
>So if you step in the wrong place, the ground you step on might give out and drop you into a cave full of burning boiling pain.
>So it just burns your lungs and kills you to death instead.
>at least one of these lakes also has high levels of methane
>and that lake is over a volcano
>The amount of methane is roughly enough to cause damage more similar to a nuclear blast.
What the hell Yellowstone. Why is it call a natural park and not a death trap or a timebomb? Infact why aren't they quarantining the area?

>>18571021

That lake with the methane is in africa. Yellowstone doens't have a lake like that, though it could form one.

I am ok with Polar Bear - Grizzlys.

(Bad news for the Alaskans who accidentally shoot them: since they are rare, they are a protected species.)

>>18570982
The outer races once believed that humans do not feel fear. They now know that we feel it, but press on anyway.

>>18571015
Thankfully, that paragon of manhood had more than one soul. What I have posted is an image that some say is faked, but I know the truth. The five souls of Teddy Roosevelt fight to this day. They are reinforced on occasion, by the most badass of dead warriors who bring with them new materiel for "Fire Team Teddy", as it is known, to use. This is the only known picture of the Teddies.

>>18571021
When things have been sitting for a million years, people tend to assume that they will continue to do so.

They won't. We thought the same thing about Mt. Saint Helens and built houses on and next to it.

That said, it's sort of cool to live on a live explosive landscape.

>>18571026
>That lake with the methane is in africa
Oh. No problem with that then. Not like the continent could go any worse.
>though it could form one.
Don't give nature ideas.

>>18571029
Not all rare animals are protected species genius. There's a list, and Grolar Bears aren't on it.

>>18571001
Controlled release of pressure, possibly involving manually triggered earthquakes, gigantic drills, and spigots of some kind.

We can probably find a use for all the piping hot magma down there.

>>18571006

That's pretty much it, everything on Catachan was normal shit on earth bumped up to 11. You have the venus mantrap which is 15 times bigger than a man and can actually move its leaves to go grab things. If it does grab you, it'll slowly digest you as it drags you through its toothy insides. Since everything needs fucking spikes.

And then you have the Grox, which are basically beasts of burden that is the size of a person and the females are really fucking ill-tempered. Catachans also use them as food animals.

Then you have Brain Leaf, which is a quasi-intelligent plant that can launch "leaves" (which I assume is a british term for something, since the picture shows a very-not leaf looking feeler) into its prey, and then has tendrils that reach into the victim's spine or central nervous system to control their actions.

Presumably they do this for much the same reason the actual parasite does.

Oh and Catachan Devils are pretty fucking big, being about 20-40 "paces" in length. Catachans tend to kill these things and take their teeth to turn into knives as a rite of passage.

The best part is that the bestiary is narrated by 40k Nigel Thornberry.

>>18571026

Oh and when I say could form one, I mean like in 5 years without anyone knowing, because yellowstone is like that. Because of the volcanic activity the land is shifting rapidly, which could cause the development of a deep lake over a lava pipe. The other factors for an explodey lake are already in place, I just don't know of a deep enough lake for it to happen there.

>>18571019

Knife field in madagascar?
Tsingy de Bemaraha National Park?

>>18571038
>>Not like the continent could go any worse.
And then Africa fucked Australia just to prove your dumb ass wrong. And just remember, we're fairly sure AIDS came from Africa, so who knows what the fuck else is lurking there, allowed to spread and breed and mutate by all the immuno-deficient Africans around all of a sudden, growing in power to affect people uninfected by AIDS...

>>18571021
Because humans are made of tougher stuff than that, and there is always someone who will find something incredibly dangerous fun. See those people that skydive in birdman suits.

The thing to consider here is that humanity is kind of like a minecraft player. Previous generations have gotten past the part of hiding in dug holes in the wall with stone weapons hiding from large groups of mobs and hunting piecemeal animals (Dawn of man)

We then moved to basic farming and defensible structures with fire and basic farming and/or animal domestication (neolithic era)

To actively hunting, killing, and in some cases farming mobs for entertainment while we perform physics experiments within our walled strongholds with enough farmed foods gathered from around our world to one spot.

Our generation is in the part of the minecraft game where we have our strongholds, farms, and machines to do make us survive. It still doesn't stop the fact that mobs can still kill you outside of the walls.

Or in the case that a dangerous animal gets loose in the neighborhood mobs inside the stronghold.

>>18571021

The Yellowstone quarantines have generally negatively affected the wildlife.

The Indians native to the region are actually a part of the ecology of the area; their hunting patterns have influenced the habits, migrations, and population balance of the deer, the bears, and pretty much everything else.

There are also the massive replanting efforts that are STILL ongoing in the wake of the Great Yellowstone Fire; you need people to maintain the ecology at this point so that the place does not collapse in on itself and become a desolate waste. And, in part at least, you need tourists to fund the conservation efforts. Tourists who should not go off the marked paths.

The study of Yellowstone and all conservation efforts directed towards it are basically trying to find the proper balance to keep Yellowstone in a proper balance. We would not wish to exterminate the buffalo again.

There are also rare bacteria living in those boiling lakes and springs which are above the boiling point of water. Microbiologists love Yellowstone. Microbiologists sometimes go off the marked paths. Microbiologists generally know what they are doing when they do this. You are not a microbiologist. Do not go off the marked paths.

Yellowstone is a precious and important resource, not just for wildlife and the beauty of nature, but for the future of science.

Do not go off the marked paths.

>>18571048
Don't forget that all of the variant strains of Ebola all came from a pile of batshit in one cave in central africa.

>>18571042
"Hello, I'm Nigelus Thornberricus!"

>>18571048
i thought that shit came from monkeys?

>>18571066

For your information here is the tldr of ebola,
We don't know, we just don't fucking know.

>>18571057
The main thing I'm taking from your posts is that I need to learn how to survive in Yellowstone, so I can go off the marked paths.

Like a badass.

>>18571042
>that pic makes me sing
"It's a guardsman's life, for us!
It's a guardsman's life, for us!
'Steada treats,
We get trenches!
'Steada bitches,
We get killed!

It's a guardsman's life, for us
It's a guardsman's life, for us
No one cares a smidge
When you're fighting up the ridge
It's a guardsman's life
It's a guardsman's life
It's a guardsman's life!"

>>18571076
Be prepared
That's the Guardsman's marching song
Be prepared
As through life you roll along

>>18571050
>Last column is humanity on earth.

>>18571041
So, uh, that could work. Great. I thought of ideas along those lines but was dissuaded by the fact that the magma and ultra hot gas might just shoot the fuck up the pipe and explode outwards, triggering the eruption early.

>mfw I live in the SF Bay Area, where the worst thing around is Oakland.

>>18571083
Ah, a hive worlder. Well, just stick close to us, and if it's eyes glow, shoot it.

>>18571041
Let's build a magma cannon!
And then dig deeper and deeper till we hit the hell itself

This is why we wont be using any conventional weaponry on any aliens that fuck with us as per our usual HFY stories
no
we're gonna drop pods full of these fucking bugs on them

>>18571081

No the forces keeping the magma in places won't give a damn about a pipe, its not like the rock holding it all in is a perfect balloon waiting to be popped. Maybe the pipe would be filled with magma shooting out, but its not like that would be a problem, when its sort of how you would want things to turn out.

>>18571086

Hive worlder are pretty much badasses. If he were from South Central he'd be a hive worlder.

Now's just some upper-spire pansy.

>>18571042
The one thing I like about Catachan Devils is that they attack Tank convoys.
>>18571048
Africa is home to the worst virus and dieseases while Australia and the Amazons to the worst sea creatures and poisonous incect.
And the US got a world-wide disaster time bomb disguise as a natural park. Wonderful.
Also sorry for being dumb. I try not to study about stuff like this so I won't have fear of of adventuring outdoor.
>>18571050
Creeper like creature in real life. Its inside is fill with chemical and gas that could turn into an explosion. Mite b cool.
>>18571057
The only thing I got from that post is "Do not go off the marked paths". But in all seriousness if human leave it alone it become a desolated wasteland? That's something new. One would have thought nature would florish if human is gone.

>>18571091
Still a hive worlder. Just happens to be one of the lucky cushy bastards. And all hive worlders are lost here in the jungle. The advice holds. Stick close and if it's eyes glow, shoot it. If it's eyes DON'T glow, let us know, and we'll decide if we should shoot it.

>>18571083

>he thinks hes safe from yellowstone super volcano
>laughingvolcanos.gif.mp4.wav

>>18571081
The magma exploding out of the pipe is basically what we want to happen, because we can then direct where it goes.

>>18571092
A stalker? Afraid of the world? You're not going to like today's schedule for blowouts, then.
And today's schedule for predicted bandit raid. And today's schedule for predicted Bloodsucker routes. And the location of that oh-so-elusive Controller the loners spotted last week.

>>18571101
>>because we can then direct where it goes.
I pre-emptively vote we send it into New Jersey. Nothing of value would be lost.

>>18571104
BOMB NEW JERSEY!

>>18571090
>>18571101
But the problem is, what if the pipe doesn't hold together against the massive force, causing a loss in control of how the pressure on the supervolcano pit of raging fuck is being released?

>>18571103
I have no problem with enemy I can fight and kill. The problem with most of these nature stuff is that I can't kill them with a gun.
And blowout can just be avoided by staying indoor. That's easy.

>>18571104
You realize that there's a substantial amount of real estate between Jersey and Wyoming, right?

Spider Wasps.

Prepare your anus.

>>18571111

In the words of the Imperium, the Emperor will know his own.

>>18571111
Well, we could just make a huge magma cannon and have it shoot the magma over the rest of the country and have it land on New Jersey.

>>18571086
>>18571091
>>18571097
Hive worlders have to deal with something just as bad as any deathworlder.

Desperate, dangerous, humans
Cults
Disease outbreaks
Daemons in some cases
etc.

>>18571114
Spider Wasps are man's best friend, though. They kill the horrifying spiders of the world in awful ways.

I say, we throw about thirty kinds of them in Australia. Laugh our dicks off as funnel web spiders cry themselves to death as wasp larvae eat them from the inside out.

>>18571111
It would be worth it to eradicate the Jersey plague once and for all.

>>18571111

Samus suggests tubes.

>>18571107

Then you will still have released pressure, and its time to drill another pipe, conceivably you are no worse off than before you put in the first pipe.

>>18571118
...what if you mix Catachan with the deadliest hive world?

>>18571118
I'd much rather deal with gangers, daemons, and genestealer cults than to live on someplace like Catachan. Seriously.

>>18571042
>"leaves" (which I assume is a british term for something, since the picture shows a very-not leaf looking feeler)

Really? It's the plural for leaf. But leaves don't have to look like other leaves. Like pine needles are leaves but look nothing like oak leaves.

>>18571123
You get people moving to void life instead.

>Squirt cyanide.
>Laugh about it.

>>18571092

Yellowstone is one of the few places where nature has formed a balance with human presence.

It's odd.

People argued that the Indians merely adapted to Yellowstone because they had such respect for the place, but when Phil Sheridan's orders were ignored and the Indians were barred from their traditional hunts, the wildlife became out of balance and it took years to recover stability.

But it is not just the Indians. The conservation efforts of the United States Government, too, are now all but inseparable from Yellowstone's ecology. This is largely because America has so thoroughly FUCKED the place in the past, mind you. Feeding the bears. Do not feed the bears. Do not feed the wolves. If you see a bear or wolf, do not leave your cars and do not roll down your windows. Do not go off the marked paths.

It is also odd that Sheridan, SHERIDAN of all people should have been an advocate in favor of Indian rights and traditions. It's almost as if Yellowstone needed him to argue its case, and so, changed him, to suit its purposes...

...nah.

>>18571118
Yes, but a hive worlder doesn't know HOW to survive on a death world. Surviving gangers and surviving predators are different things.

>>18571123

I would recruit from it for my crew.

>>18571118

That's exclusive to Hive City and Underhive (if it has one).

In the Upper hive, which you damn know what SF bay area would be, they only have to worry about losing cable reception.

Picture related

>>18571123
The underhive toxins will thankfully kill off the dangerous native life.

Or mutate them into even nastier things.

>>18571123
You only get one or the other. Either humans consume the wilderness (which they WILL do quite easily) or, the wilderness consumes the humans.

The Imperium can quite easily destroy the death worlds and make them peaceful, but it doesn't because it wants people living on them to fight on death worlds the Imperium is conquering.

On Hive Worlds, nature is gone. LONG gone. It's nothing but industrial waste and ash outside the hive cities.

But if, by some chance, you DID get a combination world?

It would be the most badass place ever to exist.

>>18571122
But what if-

>Samus

NEVERMIND. THE HUNTER IS RIIIGHT, FOR ONCE! PIPES ARE THE ANSWER! OR SHOULD I SAY...

TUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBES!

>>18571123
... an all fucking out war between gangers that have clawed their way trough life with their teeth + catachan fighters VS something that make dead spaces necromorphs seem like pussies, in the Lower hives.

>>18571118
>>18571123
>>18571126
Imperium ships orbit earth and take stock of our world.

>Classify us as advanced tech world
>Classify the nature as near deathworld rating
>Earth humans are now deathworlders

YFW

>>18571144

>>18571133

You didn't see Outlanders for Necromunda. You have plague zombies, you have millipedes the size of people, and you are in an environment that has very little light, is very cramped, and is filled with toxins.

Then you have the Sump or the Deep in Necromunda, a place where horrors occasionally get forced to the future and sometimes need the local PDF to get in and clear that shit out, or as is this Necromunda, some group of badass gangers looking for fame and fortune go down.

You also had things like Sump Spiders, which were giant fucking spiders that could swim. Along with various types of fungus, including Razorweed, which is an organic barbwire the Imerpial Guard uses that grows in some places, and then

Then you got Spryers, which are upper-hivers who want to prove themselves, so they tie themselves in a semi-organic suit and go down to the underhive to kill as many under-hivers as possible, sometimes they do it for fun.

This is really only a handful of things of the many, many, many things that Necromunda throws at you in the game.

Small picture, but this is a Young member of House Goliath, and considered scrawny by his kind.

When 40k decides they want to make a place shit, they decide that they are going to go well past the point of anything rational, but never quite reach the level of New Jersey.

>>18571155

Not future, but I guess Space Hulks could be pretty damn horrific since the book for Space Hulks mentioned that some of them are so badly fucked up by the warp they can exist in multiple points of time, and that the same Hulk can show up in multiple places, sometimes in very different states.

>>18571148
We will supply them with Gurkhas to meet our tithe. They will not need to return for a second tithe.

>>18571151
WHAT DO WE DOOOO WITH ALL THE LAVA WE PUMPED OUT OF YEEELLOOOWSTOOOONE?

rolled 76 = 76

>>18571163

Which comes to another problem, what will we name the regiment?

We can't it the 1st Terran due to HERESY.

>>18571175
We discussed this, we send it to Jersey in retaliation for reality TV. I'd like to know what else you plan to do with it.

>>18571175

Flood the entrance to our base to prevent access. On this note I would like to add that we should place our lava suit RnD on the other side of this lava field for easy access to lava.

>>18571175
Imagine, if you will, a network of tubes, circling the globe. Instead of carrying data, it carries magma. We will bring geothermal power to the surface, quite literally.

>>18571147
THE ANCIENT WORLD OF TAMMUZ PRIME

This world is an ancient eldar maiden world, later colonized by humans during the dark age of technology.

This colonization became rapid, and this world eventually became a hive world, choked with ash and decay behind it's grand city-spires, home to three trillion human beings.

This was not to last, however. During the age of strife, mankind lost this world to the mad psykers of this era. One destroyed a remote facility outside the hives containing innumerable species of death-world creatures, some of the fiercest pre age of strife mankind had encountered.

Over ten thousand years later, on the current date, the world is in a constant state of war. The vast hive-cities remain, safe havens of humanity but also, places of crushing inhumanity. The dark jungles have consumed the world outside the hive - and are almost exclusively dangerous, carnivorous fauna and flora. Wandering bands of exiles have formed together and live in these jungles, surviving in the dangerous wilderness outside the vast hives.

The world is in a perpetual state of war. The jungle attempts to invade the hives, and the hives perpetually attempt to expand into the jungle. It is an endless contest of man vs. environment.

Little known to the inhabitants of this world, it is also a Necron Tomb world. In ancient times, this became an Eldar Maiden world to seal away the ancient horrors, and ensure they would not awaken again.

Now, the land is a perpetual place of conflict between the deep hives chaos cults and mutants, the forces of the imperium, the awakening Necrons, Eldar reclaimers and Dark Eldar Raiders, and the land itself.

Some call it hell. The people of Tammuz call it home.

>>18571163
>>18571163
Gurkhas, FFL, SAS, Spetzsnaz, US 75th, etc.

What do you mean they won't come back? Give us the power armor tech and we would basically crank out reasonable marines and catachans. They will just raise the bar, I see a bunch of training and breeding in the future of earth

>>18571163
Nonono. A mixed unit of Gurkhas, Finns, and Australians.
>>18571182
1st Maailman ("Maailma" is Finnish for "world")

>>18571196
I mean the Gurkhas will have killed all of the Imperium's enemies by the time they would normally return for more men.

>>18571196

all supported by the bastard child of an abrhams tank and a leman russ

>>18571201
Bud, I'm all for being "Humanity fuck yeah" but the imperiums opponents are so vast and vicious that they would breed faster than the population of our planet could kill them.

Never mind a small portion of highly trained individuals

>>18571208
No, Baneblade sized Abrams. ELDAR, PREPARE YOUR ANUS!

>>18571200
>maailman
>mailman
Our motto shall be "Serve the Imperium, even through rain, sleet, hail, and snow".
An alternative would be
"Time to go POSTAL!"

>>18571184
>>18571185
>>18571186
BUT WHAT IF...

>>18571211
You're not getting the joke, but it's early as hell, so I don't mind.

>>18571217

Inject the lava into ourselves and using it as an in body heating system and hydraulics? Brilliant!!

>>18571188
.... why dont they just drench the forest in promethium?

>>18571148
>>18571196
>>18571201
>>18571211
Seven, that all sounds good. But have you stopped to consider our neighbors in /d/ and the population they represent? Slaannesh worship would spread like wildfire in this world.

It would be a functional deal for a few decades, us and the imperium, but eventually this planet would turn to block by block urban warfare and/or exterminatus.

just read up on ghurkas

Whispers of Gurkha war tactics quickly became legend among Axis soldiers. Stories of shadowy troops began to circulate; Gurkha soldiers who would break into German barracks at night. The stories went that the Gurkhas would quietly make their way through the soldiers; the first soldier in the line of beds would have his throat slit in his sleep, the second would have his bootlaces cut, and so on in that fashion. When a German soldier would wake up to see that the man on either side of him was dead, he would panic and immediately go for his boots; only to find that the laces were cut. They would be horrified to see this sign that they could have been killed as well.

just jesus fucking christ i think i wet myself in terror

>>18571234

so....detroit then..except instead of bloods and crips we have furfags dressed up as cats fighting furfags dressed up as dogs

>>18571232
No doubt they occasionally do.

The "natural" state of the world outside the hives is a desert. It might sift and cover an entire section of forest, while exposing an ancient ruin.

And in short order, the plants cover it again. They lay buried, ready to spring to life again the second the sifting sands shift again to expose them to the surface. Or they infest the vast tunnels running under the planet, creating a great jungle underhive from which they spring every time the surface is cleared.

The jungle does not die, but does not conquer.

>>18571259
Or just a giant pile of writhing furries in a giant orgy shouting animal calls as their sweaty forms squirm over each other drenched in their own and others fluids. Mix in some actual anthropomorphic features via warp taint and some slaanneshi daemonettes in the mix with some fucked up human/animal noises such as grunts and squeaks and you've basically got the picture.

>>18571232
The trees probably have napalm sap

This thread makes me glad to live in Kentucky. Sure its a pretty shitty place, but the Brown Recluse Spider is pretty much the only small thing that wants to kill us.

>>18571271
>that whole post

>>18571271
Oh dear god, I've been tainted, because that sounds halfway hot.

>>18571234

/d/ here, you can keep your slaanesh, I just want Mechadendrites, most fetishes can be accommodated with 40k level tech with no problem. Also Slaanesh is in general a fucked up entity, and a fucked up asshole is a pretty quick way to ruin the mood.

>>18571276

1. Obtain holy promethium
2. Cover self in holy promethium.
3. Light
4. ????
5. The emperor's will is done, also Profit!

>>18571280
Fellow /d/eviant, tell me, because I've never seen one... Is... Is there ever a fetish thread on /d/ for...

TUBES?

>>18571271
I feel partially responsible for that post...I deeply apologize

>>18571280
Its not a choice. You start going at it with your Mechadendrite created whatevers, Slanaash looks over with an all seeing brown-eye and says "I want in on that." and then bobs-your-uncle spiked penises, furries, and spaceginas.

>>18571293

Tubes?
Tubes in girls?
Tubes in girls in tubes?
Tubes in girls in tubes in tubes?
The answer is yes.

>>18571271
>Cultists upon finding earths never ending supply of fetishists, diseases, bio terrorists, endless buffets, violence, wars, and stupidly vast conspiracy networks.

>>18571311

And then there's Monkeys that that go straight for your balls...

>>18571333
Oh right, that part of the thread

>Monkeys that rip out eyes and reproductive organs, throwing their feces at you so you die of infection
>Apes twice as large and eight times as strong as men that will rip you apart or smash you to death with their strength
>animals that..

fuck it I'm still recovering from the sweaty furry pile visual

>>18571320
Someone once asked me what my reaction would be if cultist just randomly walked into my place of work during on hours.

My obvious response

>>18571374
I would probably have to sit down and think about the implications of cultist existing, but the clever thing to do would be to distract her with a buffet or something while you figured out the quickest way to kill her without spreading the god knows how many plagues she is carrying. (plus she will reincarnate somewhere)

>imperium would exist
>chaos would exist

This thread went in a really weird direction.

>>18571398
It's normal when threads about Earth being a Deathworld come up.

The topic freaks people out enough when they realize the very planet we have supposedly conquered still has a trillion fangs and poisons and pains to destroy us with if we slip up even the slightest bit.

Discussing Chaos is actually something to distract people from the horrors that are real life plants, animals, and places.

>>18571398

We went from wasps to wasps that are flying metal penises to Yellowstone and now we're mostly back to flying metal penises, but it's chaos penises rather than nature penises.

Apart from the Yellowstone digression, it's a fairly logical progression.

>>18571398
THE INTEERNEEET IS A STRAANGE AND WOONDERRFULLL SERIES OF TUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBES!

>>18571413
Someone say chaos penises?

>>18571413

Some in this thread has a serious Yellowstone fetish

>>18570354
Some types even rewired the larva's brain to protect and nurture the wasp larvae after birthing them through several brand new holes

THEY MAKE YOU LOVE THEIR BABIES WHILE THEY EAT THEIR WAY OUT OF YOU

>>18571618
>this post
>that abomination

>>18570711
>>18570742
I swear to God, the first thing that crossed my mind was "Isn't Serbia in Europe?" Then I scroll down and there it is.

>>18570798
AND THEN THE BLACK SHIPS COME FOR THEIR TITHE

>your face when we find out Earth is only a deathworld named after Terra in some forgotten Low Gothic dialect and GW is the barest holder of half-remembered lore passed down through our genetic legacy
>tg's face when they realize those threads about 40k weapons being flimsy now make sense

>>18570791
>different species
>not sterile

So can we say that blacks and whites are different human subspecies now?

>>18571703
>my face when we see tyranids for the first time and I'm more scared of an actually harmless spider back on my homeworld.

New Homeworld for any FFGs I run: Maailma

they get some amped-up version of Jaded and Dark Soul with Tech-Use and various Forbidden Lores as a trained option

>>18571703
wait, aren't we also very capable of becoming a forge world as well? Forge Deathworld

best combination

You know what's funny about all these nasty things? China doesn't want you to know about them.

First sars, the two different kinds of flu, now giant man eating catfish.

http://shanghaiist.com/2007/08/11/amazingly_huge.php

>>18571928
So what's the DOWNside to being from Maailma

>>18571977
You had to grow up there.

>>18571977
the common citizen has ready access to watered down elements of forbidden lore and secular technical knowledge as well as a culturally secular belief system alloyed with Imperial proxies; we're a living example that the Church might not work out and we have a festering minority of militant atheists (aka Iconoclasts) and a solid foundation for chaos cults to start inroads on our population

so, Apostate, Sceptic, Pagan, Chaos Lure, Weak Faith, Segregated, but also possibly warp-resistant or even blunt

>>18572014
That's goooooood. This is going in my games.

>>18572014
tl;dr, we're a liability and are more realistically going to be a small journal entry written and defamed by whomever discovers us first, probably an Inquisitor; semi-radical and mildly compassionate Rogue Trader if we're *very* lucky.

>>18572034
So we're perfect for a Rogue Trader campaign.

>>18572014
Eh, we might have a very minor atsropathic minority assuming reality holds and the staff at Nottingham actually have fluff that functions as half-reliable lore.

>>18572057
More or less, that is the correct presumption. the way "Imperial Space"(tm) works out in practice, we could be deep inside the Astronomican and not know about it till voyager hits its millenial mark.

>>18572029
>>18572057
>>18572084
Hey, guys, I just figured out what happens in the 42nd Millenium.

>>18572057
pic related, the 42nd Maailman Special Auxiliaries, Hounskul 3rd Assault Fireteam

>>18572103
>The 42nd Maailman Special Auxillaries
>Maailman
>Mailman
Their creed: "WE DELIVER DEATH, IN METAL BOXES."

>>18572118

I see you missed >>18571213

>>18572173
Great minds think alike I suppose.

Hey, Indonesian Gentlemen, YOU SAID THERE WOULD BE ROBOTNIK HEAVY INDUSTRIES QUEST AFTER NEW YEARS. WHERE IS THE ROBOTNIK HEAVY INDUSTRIES QUEST, GEEENNTLLEEMMAAANNN?

>>18571977
>>18572029
>>18572103
Tell me more about this Maailma

shameless bump for homeworld development

>>18572265
Imagine if modern day Earth existed in an unexplored corner of the 40k-verse, and we were run across by, say, a Rogue Trader. (Maailma is the Finnish word for "world", by the way.)

Okay, okay, if Earth is categorized as a high-tech deathworld, and say we take this idea to its furthest extent in that some people have said that you could spend several lifetimes on this planet and never see everything it has to offer

now, what does this imply about other 40k worlds?

tl;dr sum up earth as a deathworld in three to five sentences

>>18572346
Australia.

>>18572346

It implies that to create a world that is as realistically detailed as earth is a time-consuming creative process and most writers will just jot down a few major defining features to save time when you have lots of them to generate.

>>18572336
...oh

>>18572355
four syllables, good enough

>>18572355

Africa and the Amazon rain forest are pretty scary places too.

>>18572346
Also, the introduction of the glorious 10mm Auto round to the grim darkness of the far future would revolutionize warfare. Seriously, look at the ballistics on 40k weaponry. It's kinda pathetic.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portia_%28spider%29

These, just big enough to hunt humans.

An intelligent spider capable of learning and adapting to new prey. And one that changes it's tactics.

>>18572346
Temperate deathworld. Secular technologic semi-corporatist/statist society. Multiple religious denominations of the Emperor mixed against themselves and a burgeoning series of Iconoclast sects, benign sects tend to ally with technological aspects of society. Lack of awareness of the Emperor as their universal savior contributes to religious feuding. Noted for a collection of semi-reliable lore, forbidden and lost to time, with no known physical method of comunication, suspected sub-Gamma-level psyker activity, specifically semi-astropathic postgnostication, within the "gaming industry". Genetic integrity of populace significantly notable, traces of genetic stagnation in heavily settled areas and select other social strata, overall quality above par with significant desirable variance. Military potential assayed at a blooming post-modern capable of supporting third-tier PDF operations world-wide, comparable to Elyssian Drop Forces in general doctrine and logistic focus; total force projection is fractured among several continental nation-states and petty alliances. Individual elements highly mobile and technically self-proficient.

Recommendations: submit contract to Archeologis for pre-contact catalogue of ecological phenomina while Ecclesiastical mission is assembled for first-contact, subsequent purging, and conscription into penitent crusade; arbitration with Mechanicus representatives expected.

>>18572490
Don't forget that we've had weaponry that outperforms Imperial standard issue for close to a century.

>>18572507
It's a subjective report with no reference model against Imperial technology. Elyssians are also kind of... not highly thought of IIRC by the rest of the Imperial Community.

>>18572336
hey, written and oral history fragments go back to about 40,000 BC/bce, which puts us at roughly the 42nd millenium of man (on this world)

is it bad to wish this were not just amusing cooincidence?

>>18572538
Fair enough. I just really want to take my Witness with me when I pack off to join a Rogue Trader's crew. Once I drop an Ork with a quick Mozambique drill I figure that'll secure me a place in the inner circle.

And lo, in the early 42nd millenium, a diamondi n the rough of the Emperor's Most Glorious Imperium was discovered nestled in the bosom of Segmentum Obscuras beneath the glow of His Most Holy Light of the Astronomican.

Maailma, the world of postgnostic assayers, the entire history of the Imperium's conception, birth, and struggles woven into the tapestry of their culture by the storyteller's artful word. A boon as well for the people of Maailma were varied in blood and blessed by the Omnissiah's silent vigil that they survived the Long Night so intact for their war machine rivaled the best equipped of PDF forces and their soldiers took to the battlefield with zeal and stout hearts for the nightmares of the Emperor's foes had been the fairytales of their childhood. But woe unto the people of Maailma, for their great fortune wrought in them a cancer of doubt against all things, even the hardiest of faiths. Doubt would beget heresy and no such jewel of humankind could be allowed the chance to falter, so the Ecclesiarchy brought them under the fires of redemption and there was much blood shed upon the priests and their altars as brother killed brother in this new strife brought upon themselves from the stars.

>>18572556
hope you can identify the base materials you need to make powder and can pack a round proficiently; good ammo is going to be tough to find, especially in the right caliber

>>18572652
Dude, I already load my own rounds. 10mm Auto is fuckin' expensive, and that eases my wallet's asspain. Plus, the Explorator would absolutely LOVE to get his hands on one for the purposes of experiments. So I bring an extra for him.

>>18572665
My goal in life is to be half as awesome as this asshole.

>>18572683
Handloading really isn't that hard. It's just kinda expensive to start up, and time consuming. But, once you get it down you can do it while watching tv, browsing /tg/, etc. It's actually less difficult than painting a good army for a tabletop game. It's just a matter of practice to get your quality up.

>>18572683
Unless you live somewhere with faggy gun laws.

>>18572697
Don't even have a gun, a fan of the Liberator series from Calico, but never had the disposable income to buy anything.

>>18572490
>>18572610
Okay, out of muse-juice, somebody else's turn, I'ma take a shower and get ready for work.

>>18572719
Well, if you're really interested, for a first purchase look into a .22lr rifle. That might sound silly, but the low recoil lets you develop proper technique and avoid getting a "flinch", a habit of twitching in anticipation of recoil that you can get if you learn on something heavier. Once you've got the technique down, grab a nugget. A nugget is a Mosin-Nagant model 1891/1930 rifle. Bolt action, Russian, easy to care for, dirt cheap (ninety bucks), heavier calibre so you can get used to recoil, and a dream to shoot if you get a good one. I'm recommending rifles at the moment because they're the easiest to acquire without having to wade through gun laws.

>>18572719
Oh, and I think you meant the Litberty series. The Liberator was a little single shot bastard the US made during WWII to airdrop over Europe to resistance fighters. Thing took longer to reload than it did to make one. The idea was for a resistance fighter to hide it up a sleeve or in a pocket, use it to off a German soldier, and steal his weapons. A great gun with which to get another gun.

>>18572810
On the subject of the Calico Liberty, what kind of weird firearms innovations would Maailma introduce to the grim darkness of the far future. I could see the Space Marines being ALL UP IN some helical magazine action for their Bolt Pistols.
pic related, it's a diagram of how a helical mag works.

>>18572810
Ah, yes, I did mean Liberty 950 and 960 models, so pretty.

Also, the shower gave me another idea; The College, a network of engineers, scientists, and general scholastics establish post-Imperial contact aimed at bucking the blind faith method and ferreting out Imperial History proper and the mystified knowledge of the Adeptus Mechanicus

>>18572912
I'd imagine they're mostly focused on materials and energy technology, with the dreaded Peer Review Board to deal with any upstarts trying to tackle items like vortex bombs and warp drives before the Collegiate has the required technical base and physical understanding to attempt reverse engineering those design principles.

"I'm sorry, Mister Albreich, but your grant has been revoked."

"Mister Albreich, you know it's best to come with us, it won't be pretty for anyone if the Inquisition catches wind of your... endeavors. Just put the Tyranid larvae back in their specimen bags and keep them away from the retromutagen."

>>18573264
"And our friend with the shiny bolt pistol won't have to kill you."

>>18573348
"That's not helping, Lars; Mister Albreich, really, The College is reasonable, show up for your conduct review hearing and you might only have a few years assistance before parole for contributive conduct; the world isn't ready for your recombinants yet, you'll have your moment, just not now, so please put down the syringe and come with us."

>>18573523
"N-n-no! Y-you'll t-t-t-take my b-b-babies away from m-me! I c-c-can't l-leave them like th-th-th-this! P-please!"

>>18573551
"Oh shit, hysterics, call overwatch and tell them we have a brewing 901V on our hands- Mister Albreich, we aren't going to hurt your... your babies, we're just going to put them in a very safe place were they can't get hurt until you've shown that your theorems are safe to test- remember the Primer, Mister Albreich? 'First do no harm and no harm will be done.' Right? Remember, Mister Albreich? They told us that in our very first class and once a year, every year, those big windbags on the Board; now I want you to say it for me 'First do no harm and no harm will be done,' nice and simple, a good ethic to follow, Right, Mister Albreich?"

>>18570762
>Punching wasps
I think I know who your stepdad is.

>>18573656
"F-f-first, d-do no h-harm, an-and no harm will be d-done."

>>18573733
ugh, that reminds me of summer down southish of where I live, we get some sort of cavalcade of ants and grasshoppers and they- just- pop- when you drive over them or try to walk anywhere, just eugh, I stay inside until I'm told they're gone

>>18573741
"Very good, Mister Albreich, very good, this will reflect excellently on your review and, depending on your psychological evaluation you might even get off with a slap on the wrist; won't that be nice, Mister Albreich? You'll be able to start right away on proving your theorum soundly, I even hear a few members on the Board of Directors is hoping your research comes out favorably, but that's just hearsay, so I wouldn't get my hopes up to much, but people do like what you have- it just has to be safe, isn't that right, Mister Albreich?"

>>18573819
"Right. S-safe. I can do safe. Safe is good."

>>18573830
"That's good to hear, Mister Albreich- say, have you eaten at all since you came down here? Come one, let's head up towards HQ and get you something that'll stick to your ribs before we go through processing down at Collections; get you some nice clean clothes and a comfortable cot to sleep on, then maybe you review your notes or talk with the adjutant who will be representing you during the review. A bit of R&R, doesn't that sound nice?"

>>18570484

'Fraid to say I lost it.

>>18572490
>third-tier PDF operations
...so wait, you obviously don't mean for them to be shitty, especially after the high-billing we tend to give modern forces against the abysmal statistics 40k writers dole out and comparing them to Elyssians, so...

all I can think of is the Cadian Gate, a planet-bound and at-home PDF unit at quality with the level of professional Guard formations

for a biology class we had to take cotton swipes of various places inside out school complex, i did some lockers and the floor of the gym. nothing interesting there, someone in a different class only took 1 cotton swipe from inside the cafeteria kitchen, i do not know much detail except that what eventually grew inside the pitridish looked something like a tiny fuzzy black palmtree. My biology teacher taped it up and send it to a laboratory to find out what it was exactly, they send a letter back which said that as soon as they tested it they sealed it airtight and tossed it into an incinerator.

appearently tiny fuzzy black palmtrees kill within 24hours of inhilation.

>>18575242
Yeah, Maailma is kind of a shithole.

>>18575262
>>18575262
Price we pay for having pretty cushy lives