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  • File: 1335225930.jpg-(166 KB, 800x1024, 1331083607412.jpg)
    166 KB Tank Witches Quest - Tread 3, the Treaddining Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/23/12(Mon)20:05 No.18834522  
    You are Colonel Katherine Kent of the 101st Panzerhexe Lehr, the best equipped division humanity has to offer. And you are currently staring at the idiot who ordered M3 medium tanks.

    Sitting in on the far side of the desk is one Major Helen Roberts, dressed in the least witch-like way possible. With only a bra covering her top half and trousers, she looks up at you with a groan.

    "Ughh, can't you leave me alone to wallow in my own anguish? I drank way too much last night and now I have the worst sodding headache right now.... Oh." She looks up at you, trying to focus her eyes to the figure in the doorway and not throw up. " Kath? What are you doing up so early in the day?"

    You pause, trying to come up with something...

    >"Why do we have grants?"
    >"Why are you wearing pants?"
    >Flick the light-switch on and off really fast
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:08 No.18834562
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    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 04/23/12(Mon)20:13 No.18834623
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    >Why do we have Grants?
    >While flicking the light switch.

    There will be answers! And punishment!
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:13 No.18834629
    How about we shoot her for attempted murder? She gave us grants to march men to their own deaths you know!
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:13 No.18834633
    This. Serious transgression and all.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:15 No.18834653
    You know. I'm thinking we should leave one grant sitting around as a confidence booster. No matter how bad you are, you will never be THAT bad.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:16 No.18834662
    This. Also, we should totally have grabbed a megaphone for this.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:17 No.18834677
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    Demand reason behind Grants.
    Flick lightswitch untz and off.
    Randomly scream Hobart's name.
    >> wadsworth 04/23/12(Mon)20:17 No.18834682
    This sounds good
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:18 No.18834687
    >Flick the light-switch on and off really fast

    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:18 No.18834692
    I feel a need to defend the Grant. Sure, it's a hideous abomination against man (and tank) kind.
    Sure, it's got the gun in a fucking-stupid spot.
    Sure, it uses a frankly retarded multi-gun design concept.
    But they did alright.
    Better than fuckin' crusaders, that's for damn sure.

    You may now return to your regularly scheduled quest.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:21 No.18834732
    In her defense, maybe she wanted to have them modified into something akin to the Priest?
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:26 No.18834793
    Grants weren't modified into the Priest. That was a factory-built vehicle that used the Grant's chassis. You couldn't convert one in just a motor pool.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:28 No.18834820
    That's why I said "akin". Also I recall reading that the first M7s were indeed modified Lees, before the Priest went into proper production.
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 04/23/12(Mon)20:30 No.18834857
    >"Why are you wearing pants?"
    Some one's gotta ask it.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:30 No.18834859
    Actually reading through my books, they were modified at the factory during production, so scratch that. Still, no sense wasting good engines and chassis, we should ork something together, depending on how well equipped our base is.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:34 No.18834901

    The only reason why the Grant did so well, despite it being so horrible was that they were either deployed in big numbers against flaming metal deathtraps (like, for example, Italian tanks in Africa) or were deployed against an enemy who had no idea how to design tanks (the IJA and their "tanks").
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:35 No.18834914
    >IJA Tanks
    Oh boy. I wonder how the IJA is doing in this universe.
    >> Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/23/12(Mon)20:35 No.18834917
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    This....this transgression shall not go unpunished! You demand to know why the division has grant tanks in it's motor pool. You get some kind of gargled speech that sounds like almost like "They are decent tanks."

    "WRONG ANSWER!" you scream as you reach out towards what you hope is the light-switch... And flick it on and off as fast as you can. The sudden bursts of illumination are almost too much for you, the non-hungover one. You can only imagine the pain and suffering Helen is going though now.

    "YOU FUCKING WANKER! GOD DAMN!" she shouts as she tries to seek refuge under her desk. "ALRIGHT I SURRENDER! JUST STOP FLICKING THOSE BLOODY LIGHTS!"

    You comply, but keep your hand on the switch. "Let's try this again. Why in the king's name, do we have M3 Grant tanks in our motor pool?"

    She peeks out from under her desk with her hand shielding her eyes from the glaring lights. "I served with some in North Africa before the blasted squid-things showed up. I just thought we should have some for old times sake."

    "We have better options available you know. One's that don't blast rivets inside when hit! I'd rather send the boy's out in their underwear then in a Lee! At least they would stand a chance that way!"

    >Continue going on about how shitty the lee was
    >Change the topic
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:38 No.18834944
    We will need to ask about her pants, but first she needs to justify why she won't be driving the Grants out into the countryside so she can put them down, Old Yeller style.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:39 No.18834968
    Tank rage must persist. YOUR RANT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS!
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 04/23/12(Mon)20:40 No.18834977
    Change topic to "Why pants?"
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:42 No.18834992
    >Also, what's with the pants?
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:43 No.18834998

    Why the pants, Major?
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:43 No.18835002
    >Continue going on about how shitty the lee was

    We'll be damned before we put our husband in one of those deathtraps.

    Or suffer HIS ranting when he gets back and finds that some of his unit is using them.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:43 No.18835006
    >Endangering the lives of good soldiers for the sake of "old times."
    Why is this person still a quartermaster?

    Although it can be excused if she was going to use them for target practice.
    >> Major Airlift 04/23/12(Mon)20:43 No.18835012
    Pants. Where is her shirt?
    >> Potential Writefag 04/23/12(Mon)20:45 No.18835036
    Continue on about the Lees. Segue into rant about pants.

    Also, I've noticed something in the SWQ/TWQ universe.. Male clothing seems to rewire something in Witches. Now, think about it. SWQ - Minna puts on pants and become the Bounce Witch. Lucchini and Miyafuji put on pants and aviators and troll Marines with the Rolling Courtmartial. Sanya gets confidence from MC's flight jacket.

    Now this sodding wench puts on pants and suddenly thinks sending men out in deathtraps is a good idea when we have tank designs that aren't actively trying to kill their operators? I put forth, gentlemen, that male clothing causes imbalances in Witch brains. And not just blushy girly thoughts, either. I'm talking full on mental rewiring.
    >> wadsworth 04/23/12(Mon)20:47 No.18835056
    "Why the pants"
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:48 No.18835072
    It's a pantspiracy, I tells ya! Put girls in pants and there's no telling what they'll do!
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:50 No.18835097
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    >for old times sake
    "That's a perfectly valid thought process. Let's line the men up in trenches, too. That worked wonders."
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:50 No.18835104
    >Although it can be excused if she was going to use them for target practice.
    See, that's what I was thinking. Maybe she just wanted one around for nostalgia and the rest as practice targets.

    Though if she seriously considered sending men out into battle in those rolling deathtraps, she gets the lights again.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:52 No.18835126
    You get to keep one of them for your stupid fucking nostalgia, the rest shall serve as object lessons, they shall be targets, and terrain in wargames.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:55 No.18835153
    We COULD disassemble the grants and incorporate their guns into base defense.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:56 No.18835175
    We can always (threaten to) use them for punishment duty.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:57 No.18835184
    >File false reports of Significant effect of Grants on Martian invasion forces
    >"accidentally" let information fall into martian hands
    >They develop armor with specifications similar to Grants
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)20:59 No.18835205
    I don't think we're at such a stage in the war that the martians can understand our writing or speech.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:00 No.18835232
    We're the British Army, not the Imperial Guard. The armored equivalent of running barefoot through a minefield to clear a path for an attack is not an acceptable punishment.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:01 No.18835247
    Hey, tankfags, anyone know what's going on with SWQ proper? i missed it and/or can't find it.
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 04/23/12(Mon)21:02 No.18835270
    Planefag got hit by a combined case of Finals, and Work, so it didn't happen last week.
    >> Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/23/12(Mon)21:03 No.18835278
    No word from our planelord just yet, probably later this week

    also I am totally writing, I was just stuck for ideas a few minutes ago, postin once i give it the once over
    (Completely unrelated, what is every-bodies favorite WW2 Armored fightan vehicle? )
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:03 No.18835280
    On hiatus due to finals and shitty employers. Should return sometime this week, probably on the weekend.

    If you caught the N'oo'p Gaiden, you're all caught up.
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 04/23/12(Mon)21:04 No.18835291
    Aircraft Homosexual has finals. So Armored Assault Vehicle Magical Female is covering in the meantime. Also, no writefagging from me tonight. I did it twice in a row, don't want to take over TWQ as mine and mine alone for delicious writefaggotry.
    >> Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/23/12(Mon)21:05 No.18835314
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    "I use a M3 Grant striker and I am perfectly fine!"

    "You have magical shields AND you aren't the size of a lorry you twit! Of all the people who I should have ended up with, it was you who....." Your speech halts as your gaze drifts down towards her legs. "Are you wearing pants? You must have gotten plastered at the O-club last night if your wearing those, do you at least know the owner of the pants?""

    "Before you yell at me more Kath, Battalion HQ up in Gloucester called and said they wanted you to report there this afternoon. Something about a surprise, I wasn't really in the right state of mind earlier."

    >Light-switch rave and move out?
    >Something else witty
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 04/23/12(Mon)21:07 No.18835333
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    Light switch rave.
    Ounse ounse ounse ounse ounse ounse!
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:08 No.18835348
    Thanks, lot.

    Also, i'm going to say the Sherman Firefly. There's just something grand about looking at a serviceable design and thinking, "You know, i could probably put a really big gun on that."
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:08 No.18835350
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    >what is every-bodies favorite WW2 Armored fightan vehicle?

    And OONST out of there.
    >> wadsworth 04/23/12(Mon)21:08 No.18835362
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    [X]Light-switch rave and move out.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:09 No.18835380
    Fuck the GRANT, light switch rave while singing a song about how much the Lee sucks, then go and report.
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 04/23/12(Mon)21:10 No.18835396
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    Also, favorite vehicle?
    Sherman Firefly variant, accept no substitutes. We have more tanks than you do ammo, and our tanks have big ass guns now. We also have more bazookas than you do tanks. AMERICA FUCK YEAH!!!
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:11 No.18835402
    >what is every-bodies favorite WW2 Armored fightan vehicle?
    Its a tie between the ISU-152, the IS-2 and the KV-2 (for how ridiculous it was and all the cool stories about the few times it was actually useful for anything).
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 04/23/12(Mon)21:14 No.18835453
    I'm just going to point out that the Sherman Firefly was not an American tank variant.

    It was British. Used their 17pdr long gun.
    Keep calm and carry on.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:16 No.18835474
    Why is Captain America using a Thompson? I would think he'd be using a Garand.
    >> Technographer Decim 04/23/12(Mon)21:17 No.18835487

    "so you'll shield the M3's then. good to know"
    then oontz out of there
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 04/23/12(Mon)21:17 No.18835492
    Seems like something that us Americans would do. More dakka and all that.
    The saying in N. Africa was that if you took a shot at someone, and they returned accurate rifle fire, they were British. If they returned machine gun fire, they were Germans. If nothing happened for the next five minutes, and then suddenly, artillery starts exploding around you, they're Americans.
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 04/23/12(Mon)21:20 No.18835519
    Try firing a .30-06 one handed from a Garand. Go on, I dare you. Mind you, firing a tommy gun one handed is a dumb idea too.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:20 No.18835523
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    >mfw i realized the initial fireflies had CANVAS for gun mantlets.

    Also, wheres mah Sturer Emil! They made, like, two of them. It totally counts.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 04/23/12(Mon)21:20 No.18835524

    Really. Sure as a Churchill was British.
    >> Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/23/12(Mon)21:21 No.18835537
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    Before you leave the Major's office, you rapidly flick the light on and off causing her to howl in pain as she tries to duck back under her desk. With a loud thump, she hits her head off the edge of the desk and curses you with profanities you don't even know.

    You make your leave, and head outside. HQ is a solid 20 - 30 minute "drive" from RAF Moreton Valence. How do you plan on going there and do you take anybody with you?

    >Find someone to drive you there in a Kübelwagen or whatever the British equivalent is
    >Something I can't be assed to think of

    Escort Options
    >A witch you have already met ( Fuck you I'll pick who)
    >Halftracks everywhere
    >A few trucks
    >Something again, that I cannot be assed to think of

    And no, Goliaths are not an option
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 04/23/12(Mon)21:22 No.18835552
    Well hot damn. I learned something today.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:23 No.18835574
    Real Witches Tread onwards.

    Bright a witch we've already met along, we'll learn more about one of our girls. We need to know them well so we can effectively keep them sane and working cohesively.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:24 No.18835579
    Wait, why are we on an airforce base?
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:24 No.18835583
    >Goliaths are not an option
    Well fuck you, too.

    Anyway, Jeep and a witch we met.
    >> Major Airlift 04/23/12(Mon)21:24 No.18835585
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    >A witch you have already met ( Fuck you I'll pick who)

    Fuck you. Pick Claire.
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 04/23/12(Mon)21:24 No.18835590
    We "drive" ourselves, and bring a witch we've met.
    >> Landing Gear !DowN/N3yMY 04/23/12(Mon)21:24 No.18835598
    KUbbelwagen or a JEEP [did brits have thier own small transport?]

    Halftracks, halftracks everywhere.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:25 No.18835606
    The M4A3 and A4 (maybe) would be the rough US equivalent of the Firefly, but I think they came later.
    >> wadsworth 04/23/12(Mon)21:27 No.18835622
    Real witch thread onward

    Bring a witch we already know
    >> Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/23/12(Mon)21:27 No.18835632
    Easier to muster at an established base that supplies can be flown in then some god awful field

    One also already has fortifications, the other has free beef
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:27 No.18835633
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    >favorite armor

    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:27 No.18835639
    > No Goliaths
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 04/23/12(Mon)21:28 No.18835642
    Half tracks. REAL WITCHES TREAD ON!
    >> Landing Gear !DowN/N3yMY 04/23/12(Mon)21:30 No.18835679
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    kV-IV was here, Maus is smalltime.

    > Does the witch equivalent of this look like a human centipede?
    >Answers point to yes.
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 04/23/12(Mon)21:31 No.18835686
    Free beef. One letter away from what we need right now.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:33 No.18835709
    Tree beef?
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 04/23/12(Mon)21:33 No.18835716
    Free beet(s)?
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:34 No.18835722
    Flee beef?
    >> Landing Gear !DowN/N3yMY 04/23/12(Mon)21:34 No.18835729
    Free bees?
    Free beet?
    Free reef?
    Free teef?
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:35 No.18835741
    Kree Beef.

    Breakfast of First Primes.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:36 No.18835754
    >human centipede

    that movie. I will never get that movie out of my head.



    "Yes, feeeeed her....."
    >> Landing Gear !DowN/N3yMY 04/23/12(Mon)21:36 No.18835755
    fret beef?
    kree beef?
    fres[h] beef?
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:36 No.18835757

    or one of those lovely little tracked things that can mount a bren gun... I forget the name
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 04/23/12(Mon)21:37 No.18835765
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    I'll give you guys a hint: We'd need a shit load of it to even consider entering a Grant. Or being near one in a battle.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:37 No.18835768
    Bren carrier, funnily enough.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:38 No.18835777
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    mah nigga
    >> Landing Gear !DowN/N3yMY 04/23/12(Mon)21:39 No.18835785
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    this thing?
    >> Technographer Decim 04/23/12(Mon)21:40 No.18835804

    free teef
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:41 No.18835822
    Oh, I getcha now.
    Frey Beef.
    >> Landing Gear !DowN/N3yMY 04/23/12(Mon)21:41 No.18835823
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    Free Bees then

    <cant we just take a DUKW?
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 04/23/12(Mon)21:41 No.18835826
    Your getting close. The changed letter is in the second word...
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:42 No.18835835
    Beef fear?
    >> Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/23/12(Mon)21:43 No.18835855
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    >Halftrack + witch?

    Going alone is just asking for trouble, you don't want to be caught with your pants down.(Metaphorically speaking.) You ask around to see if anybody wants to go along with you to HQ, and you manage to find a few takers. Oberleutnant Manfred mounted in a Sd Kfz 251/17 and Captain Barkmann both jump at the chance to go with you. You jump into your strikers, grab your 75mm gun, and head out.

    >Did you pack a lunch?
    >Did you remember to turn the oven off?
    >What do you do during the trip?
    >> Landing Gear !DowN/N3yMY 04/23/12(Mon)21:43 No.18835856

    We're gonna need the engineering corps?
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 04/23/12(Mon)21:43 No.18835865
    ONE LETTER AWAY! Hint: The changed letter is in the last one of the second word.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:44 No.18835871
    >> Landing Gear !DowN/N3yMY 04/23/12(Mon)21:44 No.18835876
    we play punch buggy with the halftruck.
    Punch the truck every time we spot a cow or something.

    It can punch back if it wants
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:45 No.18835886
    Of course we packed a lunch, we're a mother of two boys we remember these things. We can stop for a picnic on the way back or something like that.

    Talk with Barkmann, learn more about her, get her opinion of the witches under her command.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:45 No.18835887
    Free Beez.
    More extreme than Free Bees.
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 04/23/12(Mon)21:46 No.18835897
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    CORRECT! I'd give you some sweeter puppies if I had them, but a kitten is fine too.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:46 No.18835900
    Free beer.
    >> Landing Gear !DowN/N3yMY 04/23/12(Mon)21:47 No.18835908
    But anon, the letter Z wasnt invented until the 90's
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:47 No.18835911

    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:47 No.18835912
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    We should totally do this again some time.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:47 No.18835914
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    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 04/23/12(Mon)21:48 No.18835933
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    Quite. It was kinda fun.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:49 No.18835937

    err, wait.

    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:49 No.18835939
    Chat it up with our escorts. Try to find out the bases opinion on us, being a new colonel for them and all.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)21:51 No.18835961
    ask then why the hell they wanted to come along with us to HQ and maybe how they feel about us being in command
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 04/23/12(Mon)21:52 No.18835968
    Oh dear, we forgot lunch. Might want to turn back to get it.
    >> Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/23/12(Mon)22:03 No.18836103
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    Thankfully, you packed a lunch for not only yourself, but for your companions as well.

    "So why did you guys decide to join me on the trip to headquarters?"

    "Well, my father is at headquarters so I decided I may as well bother him while he's on this side of the isle." Manfred pipes up over the loud rumble of the halftrack.

    "Wittmann is fighting with Knispel again, for about what, the third time today? I just needed some fresh air before I go play referee with them again." Ernsta says over the radio.

    "Are you sure it's because you two aren't in love with me?"

    "You're married aren't you?" they both reply. Really creepy with their slight German accents.


    >Anything else before LOLHQ TIME?
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 04/23/12(Mon)22:04 No.18836112
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    Nah. My body is ready.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:06 No.18836145
    Headquarters, ho.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:06 No.18836148
    I got a bad feeling about the oven. Better go check it before it's too late.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:09 No.18836195
    I am married, and very happily at that. Doesn't mean I can't raise your hopes up and dash them against the rocks. Talk to Barkman more, tell her that dealing with a group of bickering people is much of what commanding is all about, the trick is to let them both think they won the argument.

    Get to the HQ, we'll picnic on the way back.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:10 No.18836213
    Dont forget the Ammo boss
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:12 No.18836246
    Are we a lesbian? I want our character to be the mechanized champion of /u/!
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:12 No.18836252
    We got a hubby and kids
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:13 No.18836262
    >Have husband

    I don't think it works that way.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:14 No.18836271
    So, I know strike witches fly around in airplane stockings. do tank witches just walk about in thigh-bearing army uniforms and shoot heavy weaponry at people?
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 04/23/12(Mon)22:15 No.18836286
    I think so.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:15 No.18836299

    We're secretly bi right? We'll fall in love with another female solider and marry her after divorcing that guy..Right?!
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:15 No.18836300
    he's gay. it's a cover
    >> wadsworth 04/23/12(Mon)22:17 No.18836323
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    TO HQ!
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 04/23/12(Mon)22:17 No.18836325
    It's more like skate a few inches above the ground in tank-like pants, as I understand.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:17 No.18836328
    >divorcing that guy
    >the man we've been happily married to for over 20 years

    We're a witch. If we didn't love him, we could easily be rid of him. Since we're still married, all signs point to "Yeah, we actually like him".
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:18 No.18836339
    It's more like skiing in Tribes with really big guns.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:19 No.18836351
    No, happily married and with kids, strictly monogamous. After the war we'll move to a small house in the country-side and live out our days together in peace and happiness, until death do us part.
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 04/23/12(Mon)22:19 No.18836353
    Divorce the father of our children? In 194X? Think of the scandal!
    >> Starasp 04/23/12(Mon)22:20 No.18836364
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    To the HQ! Picnic later with squadmates, maybe learn some more about them.
    >> Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/23/12(Mon)22:20 No.18836372
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    >"I am married, and very happily at that. Doesn't mean I can't raise your hopes up and dash them against the rocks~."

    "Here I was secretly hoping..." Manfred trails off...

    "Captain." You say while looking back at the pale witch behind you... Jesus K rist the rifle she carries is huge." The trick with arguing comrades is simple, you need to make them both think they won the argument. That is the true way to victory."

    "You are right. Thankfully, when we deploy to lord knows where, they will be in different platoons. Should alleviate the situation."

    With that, you reach the outskirts of Gloucester.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:22 No.18836386
    Favorite tonk? M3 Stuart. Fuck your big guns, Imma scout
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:25 No.18836423
    Be aloof.
    How you ask?
    I don't know
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:26 No.18836436

    If this society is so backwards why are we allowed to fight in a war? Meh, at least they allow women to fight at all...

    That's it! Our daughter is a lesbian! She'll become the head CEO of /u/corp during the cold war...
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 04/23/12(Mon)22:27 No.18836463
    Get non-liquid eggs. And possibly a new cook.
    >> wadsworth 04/23/12(Mon)22:30 No.18836505
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    This, though speak with the local commander for a status report of current standing within the base and front lines.
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 04/23/12(Mon)22:31 No.18836524
    >why are we allowed to fight in a war?
    Because witches. Doesn't mean it wouldn't be a scandal to get a divorce from the man we've been married to for decades.
    >> Starasp 04/23/12(Mon)22:36 No.18836601
    We know next to nothing about the guy though. It makes no sense for us to just dump the guy so we can have homoerotic silliness.

    Hook up our squadmates with one another instead.
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 04/23/12(Mon)22:37 No.18836617
    We matchmaker now?
    Captcha approves!
    >Irelaid Infantry
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:38 No.18836624
    Or, if they're nice girls, with one of our boys.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:38 No.18836628
    Saunter on up, give our report and shanghai a proper cook for our regiment.

    Once we get to know the witches under our command we can collude with our husband who knows the guys under his command and we'll play matchmaker.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:39 No.18836636
    >> Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/23/12(Mon)22:40 No.18836649
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    Since I am shit at describing stuff, I'll break it down
    >Need new cook and non-liquified eggs

    You ask Manfred to go round up some chickens and a cook for the base. He accepts the task with great enthusiasm, he too probably suffered at the hands of the current cook

    >Pester the local garrison commander for information about the current front lines
    "Well Colonel; the Martians raided several positions on the east coast a few days ago, no real activity on our side of the channel." The short mustached man says.
    >Hq time?
    You managed to find the large town hall that is being occupied by the 101st division's HQ staff. You stand before the large oak doors and hear some talking inside, what do you do?

    (Shirley unrelated, didn't have anything interesting images for this situation)
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 04/23/12(Mon)22:41 No.18836653
    Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we should dump him. We the players may not know him well, but Colonel Kent must have stuck with him for a reason beyond avoiding scandal.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:41 No.18836654
    What, they're both 21~22, and unless they've already got girlfriends, it's time we made sure they did.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:41 No.18836659
    I'm late, jetlagged by 4 timezones, posting from a mobile, and need to be up in a couple hours... AND GOD DAMN, WHY HAS THERE BEEN NO PANTHER LOVIN' SINCE HE ASKED ABOUT FAVOURITE TANKS OF THE WAR?

    And then I sleep. That is all.
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 04/23/12(Mon)22:42 No.18836673
    Walk on in. Need to meet the other brass.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:43 No.18836679
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:43 No.18836680
    We all already know the Panther was the single most innovative tank of WWII and it could be considered the best, no need to talk about it.

    Stroll on in, tell them it's Colonel Katherine Kate here to report.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:45 No.18836702
    Because then we'd have to start making the rounds of 'in before/during/after panzer' jokes, and i'm just not up for that.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:56 No.18836851
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    >This entire quest
    You're only here for the tits and lesbians.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:58 No.18836872
    fuck you I want tanks
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:59 No.18836881
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    >implying that that's a problem
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)22:59 No.18836885
    Well duh. Any other brilliant revelations you want to make?
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:00 No.18836889
    Actually I came here because I enjoy tanks more than planes, but it seems I ain't getting my tank fix.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:01 No.18836903
    I'm here for Black Prince vs. Aliums with a chance of Königstiger + good engine.

    I'm willing to abide tits and lesbians though.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:01 No.18836904
    We probably do need to look at getting some field exercises in. They say they gave us the best, but we need to see what we have.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:02 No.18836914

    there is a disturbing lack of tanks and SWQ LAWL RANDUM

    honestly, i'm confused
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:03 No.18836926
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    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:04 No.18836936
    It seems to be starting kinda slow. I can live wiith that though. We're in tanks so we can't just oop over the channel at our own wim. Also we don't know it London has been invaded yet in Panzer's story.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:10 No.18836992
    Looks like our panzer blew a tread
    >> Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/23/12(Mon)23:10 No.18837004
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    You and Barkmann dismount your strikers at the nearest motor pool and march into the building. You decide against kicking in the doors..

    "Colonel Kathrine Kent and Captain Ernsta Barkmann of 1st Panzer Abteilung reporting in!" you say as both you and your escort snap salutes. (Why are all the formation names in German anyways?) You look around the room and see alot of people, both witches and non-witches, some of which you recognize...

    >Major General Sir Percy Hobart; Divisional Commander of the 101st
    >Major Simon Fraser, 15th Lord Lovat of the 101st's commandos
    >Colonel Victor Kent
    >Witch-Commander Major von Luck of the 101st 2nd Panzer Abteliung's First company

    "Ah yes, Colonel Kent. Please take a seat. We where just discussing the 101st's role in Operation Gymnast." Sir Hobart replies. As you take a seat, he continues. " We shall land on the Moroccan coast and drive the martians into Algeria; where are Italian allies are waiting to ambush them."

    "Are you sure it is wise to trust those sods? They faltered without the assistance of the Germans before the martians invaded! What makes you thin...." The bloke is interrupted by a large explosion nearby....
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:12 No.18837014
    >> Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/23/12(Mon)23:15 No.18837049
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    You and just about every other staffer there is rushes outside to catch a glimpse of a heavy Martian fighter take a face-full of 2cm AA rounds, and crash into a nearby building. You see several other Martian fighters zip around, taking advantage of the time it takes to get fighters airborne. With that, the air-raid sirens come to life....

    .. You make it to the motor pool in mere seconds, mount your striker and prepare for combat

    >What do?
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:15 No.18837052
    >Italian allies are waiting to ambush them
    >interrupted by a large explosion nearby

    Why do I feel these are directly connected?
    Fucking Italian army...
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:17 No.18837067
    Start firing our machine guns, if we got them. The 75 won't be much use here.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:17 No.18837069
    Try and see what happened in the damaged building.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:17 No.18837071
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    Try to AA fire with a Grant. :3
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:17 No.18837076
    We don't happen to have proximity fuzed AA shells on hand do we? I guess we can still use our machineguns if not.

    Get outside and scan for ground targets, engage air targets of opportunity.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:20 No.18837097
    Maybe instead of doing some ineffective AA fire, we should do what officers do and start organizing people to take care of the wounded and prepare some defense in case a ground attack follows up.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:21 No.18837116
    This. We are a colonel. time to act like it
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:21 No.18837119
    Are there any witches other than Barkmann around?

    Our huge gun won't be as useful unless there is a seriously fucking huge plane about, and we're not the best choice for anti air, keep an eye out for any ground targets, shield any ack-ack batteries under heavy fire.
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 04/23/12(Mon)23:22 No.18837127
    >Colonel Victor Kent
    Unrelated, I presume?

    Or is he a father/brother-in-law?
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:23 No.18837135
    rolled 32 = 32

    This, atleast until their regular commanders get there.
    Not sure when in the SWQ timeline this stakes place, its not during the invasion of England is it?
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:23 No.18837143
    >> Starasp 04/23/12(Mon)23:23 No.18837146
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    Shoot those fighters.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:24 No.18837150
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 04/23/12(Mon)23:26 No.18837186
    I thought he was a Major. Eh, whatever, I could easily be misremembering.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:27 No.18837191
    People get promoted over time. He was a major when we met him.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:27 No.18837192
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    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:28 No.18837199
    >Operation Gymnast
    Sounds hot.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:30 No.18837223
    hey, wasn't our non-witch guy in a halftrack? does it have a flak gun on it?

    if it does, we should support him with shields so he can help defend the base, while we bellow orders
    >> Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/23/12(Mon)23:30 No.18837226
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    It's not much more then a big smoking pile of rubble right now. Thankfully, a lot of the civilian population has been relocated a bit further north, so you expect casualties to be light.

    You rally the nearby troops, Cpt Barkmann, Major von Luck, some more of those delicious 251/17 Flaktracks, and a trio of Shermans to prepare for a Martian assault

    You manage to power up your long range command radio and hear chatter about some huge assault force outside of London, something about a giant floating freighter or something, whoever is talking probably isn't in the right state of mind.

    While mucking about, Barkmann taps you on the shoulder. " Chances are they will attack from the northeast, away from our base of operations"

    >The treads are in your hands now anon
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:32 No.18837241
    Oh so THATS when we are? K this is going to be fun.
    >> The_Piano_Maker 04/23/12(Mon)23:32 No.18837243
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    "Where the fighting is heaviest, that is where we shall stand..."
    >> Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/23/12(Mon)23:33 No.18837246
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    My apologies, I havent gotten that far in my history doc

    And sorry for the slow pace, I have no fucking idea what I am ever doing, but now hopefully ,shit will get real and slightly(only slightly) less lesbian
    >> Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/23/12(Mon)23:33 No.18837250
    Still in england~
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:35 No.18837271
    Invaded England if im not mistaken.
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 04/23/12(Mon)23:35 No.18837273
    no worries, I was misremembering his name. Or actually, not remembering it. My own fault entirely.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:35 No.18837280
    Head towards the northeast, currently as ground witches without much in the way of anti-air, our goal is to shield ack-ack, provide support, and reinforce fortifications. If anything big comes or anything ground based appears then we will fill them full of cannon.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:38 No.18837299
    Inform command we are heading towards the fighting
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:41 No.18837330
    Hmm. Can we contact the rest of the 101st? Find out their situation, tell them to get ready if they didn't get attacked yet (unlikely). If the situations is as bad as it sounds, we need to make it back to our troops as soon as possible.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:50 No.18837414
    How far is London? Let's try and get in on that freighter action.
    >> Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/23/12(Mon)23:51 No.18837427
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    You inform command that you are headed northeast with your group. "Roger that Colonel, good luck and godspeed" an older gentlemen says though your radio "Bag a few squids for me eh love?"

    "I'll try Victor, just stay alive?"

    "Don't worry about me.."

    You head NE with your battlegroup. "I shall take das armor north and try to flank them mein commandant " von Luck says. With no reason to deny her, you wave her her off, as she takes a left with the Sherman's in tow.

    While the halftracks fill the air with 2cm rounds, you hear the best sound a ground pounder can ever hear, glorious allied air support. You call off the flak long enough to see 3 witches tear overhead with several spitfires in formation.

    "Colonel, looks like they are mounting an armored assault near the outskirts of the city." One of the airborne witches calls out over the magical radio. "Count about 15 light and 7 heavy models"

    (Jesus fuck this shit is fragmented, next time I'll do alot better, got a raging headache from all this sudden rain)

    You reach the outskirts just in time to see the turret/hull of one of the large tanks peak over a hedge.

    (Think of the Heavies as KV-2 turrets upgunned with short rocket mortars and short stubby legs)
    >> The_Piano_Maker 04/23/12(Mon)23:52 No.18837432

    Two possible outcomes of that:

    1) We're too late and nothing comes of it and we waste out time.

    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:53 No.18837456
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    get in cover/try to flank around the hedge?

    >i'm driving closer, i want to hit them with my striker!
    >> The_Piano_Maker 04/23/12(Mon)23:54 No.18837466
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    How do our units stack up to the ALIUMS?

    How many witches does it take to destroy a Heavy? Can a witch take multipule heavies?
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:54 No.18837471
    Try and set up an ambush. Hit em' from the sides.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:55 No.18837490
    Faster units, Panthers and the like circle around to the right and flank, me and the heavies will go left and force them to turn that way to expose the side armor for you. Godspeed ladies.
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:56 No.18837498
    If it's armor is as thick as a KV-2's, definitely aim for the legs. Mobility kill is better than no kill.

    Let's show those martians the mistake of bringing legs to armored warfare (our own notwithstanding).
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:57 No.18837508
    whatever happens, we have got
    sparkleshields, and they have not
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:57 No.18837513
    Tap dat rear armor.
    >> Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/23/12(Mon)23:58 No.18837532
    Current list of units:
    1 Churchill Witch with 75mm gun
    1 Panther Witch with long 75mm gun
    3 Flak-tracks (2cm gun can be used against land targets)

    Major Von Luck PanzerIV witch with 75mm
    2x Shermans with 75mm
    (Will arrive shortly)
    Air-support x3
    >> Anonymous 04/23/12(Mon)23:59 No.18837536
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:02 No.18837564
    get someone to draw fire while the other goes and flanks?

    just a suggestion, other anons chime in on it as well, especially since im not familiar with the capabilites of tank witches or all that familiar with the tanks themselves
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:03 No.18837566
    On an off-topic but slightly related note, when's the next Strike Witches Quest?
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:03 No.18837569
    >3 Flak-tracks (2cm gun can be used against land targets)

    Oh hell no. We're wise to the Martian's tricks. Unless shit gets desperate, keep those guns pointed towards the skies. The alium air support come drop on us at any moment and it is best not to get caught by it.
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:03 No.18837570
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    >KV-2 turrets
    Oh god what
    Those things have retardedly slow traverse. Flank the shit out of 'em. The sides and crew hatch are easily penetrated, and with the whole
    thing, I'm betting a single AP round through the hatch will ruin their day in a massive explosion.
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:04 No.18837572
    engage, send our fastest tanks/witches to flank it while we draw fire. It can't present the thick armor to both groups!
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:04 No.18837573
    probably sometime this upcoming week, most likely friday. planefag's got exams and stuff like that to deal with right now apparently
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 04/24/12(Tue)00:04 No.18837576
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    Guys listen.
    I just had the greatest idea.
    You're listening right?
    What if...
    What if we stole some alien rockets...
    What if we stole some alien rocket things...
    And attached them to a PzKpfw VI Tiger Ausf E.
    And turned it into a PzKpfw VI Tiger Raketen.
    Think about it guys.
    All the dakka. All those little spirally rocket things.
    On a Tiger.
    Better yet...
    We stick them on a Tiger Ausf B.
    A Konigstiger.
    All those rockets on a King Tiger.
    Think about it.
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:05 No.18837586
    Don't the martian weapons explode when handled?
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:05 No.18837588
    >take Katyusha
    >remove truck
    >add tank

    No need for looting.
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:06 No.18837592
    i thought all alium weaponry was unusable by humans?

    also inb4 how many alium rockets could we etc etc etc
    >> The_Piano_Maker 04/24/12(Tue)00:06 No.18837593
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    Why don't we just give the Panzerjager a turret while we're at it?
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:06 No.18837598
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    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:06 No.18837599
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    For science
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:07 No.18837602
    >look like KV-2 turrets
    They're not actually KV-2 turrets so we can't assume they have the properties of one.

    Although a list of their capabilities would help, maybe some statistics too, panzerhexen.
    >> Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/24/12(Tue)00:07 No.18837604
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    You fire two 75 mm rounds at the bastard coming over the hedge, one just bounces off it's hull while the other pieces a leg, causing it to tip over and fall gun first onto the ground, not much different then >>18837456. It gets even better, when he hits the ground, the loaded rocket-mortar goes off.... Pieces of Martian alloy hit your sparkleshields, dealing no damage, while your flaktracks don't stand up as well. They are still operational, but riddled with holes. Barkmann is nowhere to be seen.

    You see a group of light armor (5) at your 12 o'clock 150 ft away, 2 heavies at your 2 o'clock and some light infantry at your 5

    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 04/24/12(Tue)00:07 No.18837605
    No, we just put more rockets on it to make up for the lack of a turret. Maybe make them bigger.
    >> The_Piano_Maker 04/24/12(Tue)00:08 No.18837614
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    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:09 No.18837626
    With 1943 tech, that would turn out the same as when KV-2 fired armor piercing shells (jammed turret). Either that, or something ungodly huge and unreliable.
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:09 No.18837628
    Take out the heavies first - the rest'll be easier.
    >> The_Piano_Maker 04/24/12(Tue)00:09 No.18837631



    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:09 No.18837639
    Radio for Barkman
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:09 No.18837642
    >coming over the hedge instead of staying hull-down and covering its legs
    martian tankers confirmed for not very smart...maybe Dr'rp was a former tanker

    also, probably not a good idea to put the heavies at our flank, so deal with either them or the lights, let the 20mm half-tracks deal with the infantry
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:10 No.18837643
    Light armor is at worryingly close range. Position self between Flaktracks and aliums and get to work.
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:10 No.18837648
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    Focus fire the heavies, if they get a good shot off your goose is cooked. Have the flak take down the lights.
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:11 No.18837654

    are those forces friendly or foe?
    >> Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/24/12(Tue)00:11 No.18837657
    the Heavy tonks i mean, the heavy martian armor, are around 10ft tall on 6 stubby legs with a short squat mortar on the front, with a flat rear like the KV2, barring the hatch, "Thick" frontal and side armor, the legs arn't too shabby either, you just got lucky with a hit earlier
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:11 No.18837661
    We'll want to expose the side and back armor of the heavies so we as the slower armored witch, go one way and the faster witches go the other. We draw the fire of the heavies and we can just pierce through the light armor from the front, take cover, make them point towards us and the other witches shell the 2 heavies from the side/back.

    Keep the Air Support unused for now, we'll want it later and have the Flak-tracks come with us, their slower than the other witches and the fire coming from them will further make the Aliums look at us and they can help with the light armor. We can keep them from severe damage with our hopefully monstrous shield.
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:11 No.18837662
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    Let's shoulder slam them all to death.
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:12 No.18837671
    Us and someone else with a proper gun should focus on the heavies while moving to shield flaktracks. One of the flaktracks should focus on the infantry to keep them suppressed because I don't want anti-tank rockets up my bum. We can leave the light tanks for support.
    >> The_Piano_Maker 04/24/12(Tue)00:12 No.18837675
         File: 1335240756.jpg-(161 KB, 960x720, AW SHIT NIGGA.jpg)
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    >flat rear


    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:18 No.18837739
    God yes. Tap dat flat rear armor!
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:19 No.18837750
    >90 degree armor angles and legs...damn. somewhere on the other side, a martian tank commander is flipping a shit at the guys who designed their armor
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:19 No.18837757
    I agree, Kansas City Shuffle, they point one way, there's a very large gun the other way.
    >> Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/24/12(Tue)00:19 No.18837758
    My current makeshift map to keep things in order, support comes from the left side
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:20 No.18837766
    While shooting of BRITISH ANACHRONISMS.
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:24 No.18837806
    Hmm, it's going to be difficult to get good shots on the side and back of the heavies from out position. Our best bet is to head down towards where the enemy infantry is and leave their side/back open for the Shermans to rip apart.

    The halftracks will cover our tactical retreat to that position by shooting at the Light armor Katherine and Barkmann mow down the infantry with machine guns. Once they are dealt with find cover and continue to draw heavy fire and return fire onto the lights who we ought to be able to penetrate easily. Leave the heavies for the ones with a good firing angle.
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:29 No.18837854
    >2cm guns
    Better one of those on the infantry while tank witches do damage to tanks. AA machine guns are really good at anti-infantry work.
    >> Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/24/12(Tue)00:30 No.18837869
         File: 1335241814.jpg-(243 KB, 850x1168, 1327520569441.jpg)
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    You look behind you to see Barkmann crouched behind a low wall with her long rifle out, her camouflage ability makes it hard for even you to spot her.. She lets loose a pair of rounds towards the heavies... And you see off in the distance two heavies explode as their rocket ammo explodes in the hull...

    You turn your attention towards the light armor to your north, and fire as many rounds as you can towards em.. Two rounds connect with the third going wide... and both hits crumple the light armor...

    The halftracks open fire upon the close infantry, inflicting light casualties, but pinning them down

    The Light martian armor moves up and engages the halftracks behind you... You manage to intercept most hits, but 1 of the Flaktracks gets wrecked...

    The major is nowhere to be seen

    New enemies,2 more groups of light armor from the north (5 each) and 6 heavies from the southeast

    >Your move mobile su... Colonel Kent
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:31 No.18837887
    Keep nuking lights, let Barkmann take the heavies.
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:33 No.18837911
    Tactically withdraw to better cover. Give the remaining half tracks cover then follow
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:33 No.18837916
    we should probably move a little bit to the east so we're not caught in between the two groups shouldn't we...also, put the halftracks somewhere...safer?

    heh, the hexgrid really brings me back
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:34 No.18837923
    err, west, not east
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:34 No.18837930
    Where exactly from the left are the Shermans going to come?

    We'll want it so they have good shots, I suggest we focus on the light armor ahead of us and try to bust through, this means the Heavies will face more north and the Shermans will tear them apart from the side. We can use the smoking wreckage of their lights as cover.
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:37 No.18837958
    always trying to find this book Gales and Girls, basically a bunch of busty girls dressed as artillery, gunboats, and such. this thread makes me all the more ashamed i could not find it
    >> Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/24/12(Tue)00:43 No.18838034
         File: 1335242631.jpg-(187 KB, 505x520, 1327459246198.jpg)
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    "PIP PIP CHERRIO" you hear over the radio as a pair of shermans backed by von Luck burst though a wall of a house, they move up to slap the Light armor's shit... The weak side armor cannot withstand the brutal assault as three of them start burning like a Lee hit by a 88 flak.

    You fire on the closer light armor... You knock out two, and the third one explodes in a magnificent fashion, engulfing all three in flames

    Barkmann again, lights up two of the heavies with her long panther's gun, its almost like shooting fish in a barrel.

    The FT's withdraw while firing at the light infantry, killing a group.

    The light armor engages your support units.... Slodeing one Sherman, but von Luck wont have any of that and counterattacks, slaying 4 in close quarters combat

    (Will end soon)
    >> The_Piano_Maker 04/24/12(Tue)00:46 No.18838069
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    >Slodeing one Sherman

    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:47 No.18838087
    We have them on their heals. Keep pushing. Finish off those heavies
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:48 No.18838098
    Shoot a dude
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:48 No.18838105
         File: 1335242898.jpg-(197 KB, 807x605, 1331428879818.jpg)
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    No worries. There will be more
    >> Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/24/12(Tue)00:48 No.18838109
    The martians, seeing they are fighting a superior foe, break off towards the east, but not before Barkmann brews a few more up. Finally your air-support shows up and mops the floor with the survivors.

    Next time on Boondoggle quest, Making some combat make sense! ( Thursday or maybe Friday, same time same channel)
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:49 No.18838122
    oh grorious air support! see ya next time panzer
    btw, the hexgrid thing was good...well, i liked it at least
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:50 No.18838135
    Keep up the grid work, dude
    >> Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/24/12(Tue)00:51 No.18838148
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    Next time I won't rush it and actually finish making combat ruuules so anon can tonk gooder
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:53 No.18838161
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)00:56 No.18838201
         File: 1335243397.jpg-(81 KB, 378x378, marine-artillery-cannon-specia(...).jpg)
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    >> Postingwritefagging !mYedictMKA 04/24/12(Tue)00:58 No.18838225
    It is December 7.

    Darkness filled the sky as guests filled the hall.

    They were going to listen to Germany’s finest musicians, conducted by the finest Nazi Germany had to offer. After all, wasn’t it Hitler who shook this talented man’s hand? Wasn’t he in charge of the music they had heard?

    They were assured of a good time. Unaware of the looming threat, they relaxed, awaiting the magic of the music.

    Elsewhere, the famed conductor fretted. He had dreaded playing in front of all these... Nazi supporters. The news from the front had not been good. The news within had been even worse. He did not approve of what was happening.

    Yet, there was work to be done. Culture, he deemed, had to be preserved. He had one only one weapon and he was going to use it. Damn the Nazis, damn the Final Solution, damn this war to hell.

    “Conductor?” the voice of an aide broke his train of thoughts.

    “Yes?” he turned to the voice.

    “It is time.”

    “Good. Let us have a wonderful performance.”

    He strode to the door, resplendent in the suit he always wore for concerts.
    >> Postingwritefagging !mYedictMKA 04/24/12(Tue)00:58 No.18838233
    He strode to the conductor’s plinth, scanning the crowd as he walked. He saw plenty of people, no doubt the richest Germany had to offer, but the apparent lack of Nazi officials was surprising. He regarded this as a good sign.

    He tapped his baton, and proceeded to weave the magic he was well-known for. His only weapon and ally against the looming darkness. And right now, it was loaded with a most peculiar round: Bruckner’s Symphony No. 9 in d minor.

    A furious wave here. A sharp jab there. Sometimes there would be a strange gesticulation. His conducting, it was once said, looked like someone having a grand seizure.

    But he didn’t care. He firmly believed in the notion that music soothed the savage beast. And if it didn’t soothe the beast now, then it would be later.

    It was all he had. It was all he could do. What else could he do, when his world was crashing down on him? Ideals, dreams, hopes. All crushed by the horrid Nazi machine.

    He conducted on, ending the first movement with a flourish. He ignored the thunderous applause, preferring to look at his sheets for the second movement.
    >> archivalfag 04/24/12(Tue)01:00 No.18838245
         File: 1335243600.jpg-(306 KB, 1384x976, DOUBLETROUBLE.jpg)
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    Panzer continues to test my patience BUT I ENDURE.


    I also managed to finish Demons of the Pacific PART DEUX this week. Read the superior version in the archive OR read the unformatted version below. This week: FUN ACTIVITIES TO DO WITH A TRAINING STRIKER.


    READ IT. Also, if you're writefagging something and want it in, please for the love of god tell me and have a pastebin or something. There's so many of you that I can't keep track of it.
    >> Postingwritefagging !mYedictMKA 04/24/12(Tue)01:00 No.18838248
    “What do you mean evacuate?” he ejaculated at the German soldier during the intermission.

    “I’m sorry, Councillor, but it’s the Fuhrer’s orders. You and the Berlin Philharmonic are to evacuate to the nearest shelter at once. Unknown enemies are going to invade Berlin at moment, a-”

    “Nonsense. We will play on, regardless. There is more to the war than killing.” he interrupted, annoyed at the news.

    “But Counc-”

    “We will play on. You are welcome to sit in. Though you are a bit late.” he declared.

    “I mean no disrespect, Councillor, but you are an impo-”

    “I have a crowd to play to. Your ministrations are useless.” he finished, irritated at the poor soldier’s insistence.

    “Well, the Councillor refuses to move. Fan out and secure the concert hall the best you can. And don’t let any of the alien bastards in!” he turned to the platoon behind him.

    >> Postingwritefagging !mYedictMKA 04/24/12(Tue)01:00 No.18838254
    The performance was magical, even by conventional accounts. The applause that followed the last note was thunderous. Even he had to admit, it was a pretty good night for him.

    Though his good mood did not last long.

    A radio crackled to life.

    “This is Admiral Karl Doenitz! Our Great Fuhrer is dead! Murdered by some alien... beings! As of today, I am now leading the government! Berlin is safe! Please stay where you are, wherever you are! Help will come shortly! Sieg Heil!”

    A hushed silence filled the hall. Some people were openly sobbing, others sighed, a sense of relief flooding them.

    Tap tap tap.

    Everyone turned to the stage. The famed conductor started up another performance, this time, a Wagner.
    >> Postingwritefagging !mYedictMKA 04/24/12(Tue)01:01 No.18838261
    Papers all over the world would come to know of the miraculous survival of the Berlin Concert Hall, the Berlin Philharmonic, and all the people in it, including the platoon of soldiers sent to evacuate the people within.

    It would be compared to Dmitry’s Stand as one of the more iconic moments of the invasion.

    “Das Wunder Furtwangler” would occupy the headlines for a week. The classical music world would heap praises. Even Toscanini would openly declare him as “the best conductor of all time”. He would be forever exonerated of all perceived crimes and Nazi connections.

    But those were all in the future. Right now, Wilhelm Furtwangler carried on doing what he did best: enthralling everyone with music.
    >> Postingwritefagging !mYedictMKA 04/24/12(Tue)01:02 No.18838281

    Wilhelm Furtwangler

    An immensely talented musician and conductor. Born in 1886 to a privileged family. Was educated about german culture by tutors, family friends and a few Witches.

    His musical talents surfaced early and he became proficient with the piano. Though he really wanted to conduct and compose his own works. When his father died, he took up conducting primarily to support the family, but also to further his dreams.

    His rise in the musical was meteoric, no doubt helped along by the Witches he made friends with as a young lad. He toured around the world, becoming popular throughout, but America was a bit less forthcoming.

    Then Hitler came.

    He could only stare in sadness as his proud homeland was reduced to nothing but barbarism, jackboots and violence. His friends urged him to leave. He stayed on, bound to his love for his country. The Nazis did all they could to make his stay permanent.

    His only solace was with the Witches he had befriended. He soon made new friends within the witch communities, some of them being fans of his.

    The war years were hard on him. News of concentration camps, especially from his witch friends and fans, were particularly unsettling. The political redeployment of some his closest friends had an adverse effect on him as well. It didn’t help that the Nazis raised up von Karanjan as a rival to him. And yet, he soldiered on, despite knowing that music didn’t soften and purify hearts.

    Thankfully, the Martians changed all of that. And after the Martians came, Furtwangler became a free man.
    >> Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/24/12(Tue)01:04 No.18838292
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    And that concludes tonight's session

    Love you too archival

    Keep up those positive waves beautiful people
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)01:07 No.18838329
    Good stuff yo
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)01:42 No.18838704
    Did planefag ever get around to saying when the next SWQ eas?
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)02:05 No.18838888
    >all that work

    Amazing to see so much being created out of one man's alternate alternate history. Even more so to see that it's a respectful reconstruction of a fan-service anime.
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)02:18 No.18838997
    It's mostly shit. About the only good things are the quests proper.
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)02:29 No.18839085
    I like Thunder+whatever.

    But yeah, some of it is garbage. It's just what happens when lots of people write stuff. Some of it is shit.
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)02:33 No.18839117
    I think T&L's about the only good one out of the bunch. Everyone else is just throwing gnomes out. Either that, or they're good friends with the witches, who have been described as being aloof to everyone but their own ranks.

    Fucking special snowflakes. The whole lot of them.
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)02:41 No.18839206
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)02:56 No.18839366
    So far only one has been about a gnome. I don't even know what you mean by that second point. I suggest you actually know what you're talking about next time.
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)10:15 No.18841975
    TWQ can't hold a candle to SWQ
    >> Anonymous 04/24/12(Tue)10:32 No.18842097
    It's still better than most of the other shit that got made because of SWQ.
    >> Panzerhexen !mYedictMKA 04/24/12(Tue)11:38 No.18842614
    I'll take your word for it

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