You have
A jar of sugar
2 pitchers
2d6 lemons
10d20 cups
A large baroque jar filled with water

Get eaten by Tyranids/Orks/Dark Eldar/Kroot/Slaaneshi Daemons (awww yeaaah).

rolled 1 + 99 = 100

Play with self in public.

>>18849408
You squint up at the sky as you hear a low droning sound, your hand starting to gravitate away from your genitals in fear. A large black ship slowly descends, and a fat, sweaty man comes out. He looks at you and points to his chest, where the rosarius of the Inquisition is pinned to.

Attempt to rape the inquisitor

>>18849463

Offer him a lemonade.

>>18849532

This, but offer it in the sexiest way we can manage.

>>18849532
>>18849532
"What do you offer, trader?"
"Only the finest citrus based refreshments on this rock."
He tosses you a platinum throne. The sweaty Inquisitor grasps at the cup you offer him. He frowns and looks at it carefully, analyzing it with his bionic eye.
He is about to swallow it when suddenly a grey knight runs up and knocks it out of his hands.

I say seduce the customers.

>>18849656
Ask if he would like another, then charge him.

Make friends with rock.

>>18849532
>>18849624

Also whisper to him that billy's familly from down the block has being expressing anti-imperial sentiments over the last week. You try to report them to the local officer but the mutants eat him two weeks ago.

>>18849656
Give him another, then charge the grey knight for it.

>>18849668
"Would you like another sir?" you ask calmly.
The inquisitor ignores you and is in a psychic exchange with the grey knight. You twitch with irratation as the lovingly made lemonade leaks into the irradiated ash of this foul world.
The grey knight turns and takes off his helmet.
"Know this, servant of the emperor, I am Supreme Grand Master Kaldor Draigo, and I have returned to this physical plane for now is the time when the Imperium's need is greatest for the kinds of me."

>>18849715
"Sure, yeah, whatever. Are you gonna buy some lemonade or not?"
We must be COMPLETELY unphased by the appearance of a grey knight alongside the inquisitor. The ONLY thing we give a fuck about is selling lemonade.

>>18849715

Also offer him a lemonade.

>>18849715
Demand to know why he destroyed our lovingly brewed Imperial Lemonade. Accuse him of being a heretic impersonating a Space Marine to destroy the Imperium's lemonade stockpiles.

I love tg

>>18849743
>>18849744
>>18849750
Oh god, all of these in that order.

OP we get your point, we have too many quest threads which are shit, enough alraedy.

>>18849772
I don't know what you're talking about, this thread is going places.

>>18849772

LIES.

>>18849772
Most or all will die on their own, as is the natural order.

>>18849772
But this is a good quest. Long lasting serious quests are generally bad.

One-off quests like this are great.

>>18849743
Throwing in a vote for this, then >>18849744

>>18849750
"Noble citizen, will you join me upon this quest?" he asks, his face molded into the greatest expression of valor and courage you have ever known.
"No. Will you buy lemonade?"
"I believe you have not-" he starts, firm in his conviction and cause.
"NO! You disrupt my service, destroy my products, and threaten me with unreasonable demands to abandon my duty that the God-Emperor himself entrusted me with!"
You brandish a lemon and he steps back.

>>18849855
IT BEGINS

We should make the grey knight pay for the lemonade that he already destroyed, actually. Sure, it's not our responsibility once someone's bought it, but destroying our handcrafted lemonade like that is not okay. We're already yelling at him, let's do some more.

>>18849855
Talkin' smack to Draigo and threatening him with lemons. I love you guys.

Also throw the lemon at his head and demand he buys some lemonade.

>>18849879
And by that, I mean he needs to buy the inquisitor another one. This man is disrupting our business and that isn't acceptable.

Ask him to pay for the lemonade, if he refuses then try to stab him in the face with the lemon

What kind of planet are we on? Hive World? Death World?

You begin to think of the time when your father left you at the carpet store, the time your brother sold your Ciaphas Cain action figure to buy a pornoslate, the time your uncle tried to "interact" with a hormogaunt. All your bad memories in one, and primed with prayer to the Emperor, you let fly with the lemon.

rolled 3 = 3

>>18849989
Rolling for success of lemon throw

>>18850002
Looks like it bounced off his armour and smacks us in the eye.

>>18850024
The spinning lemon strikes the human lemonade vendor in the eye, brusing the muscle!

The human has been knocked unconcious!

You dream that you are in a dark room. You are naked except for a pitcher of lemonade, and the God Emperor stands before you, locked in a pitched battle with Horus.

rolled 100 = 100

>>18850074
Rolling for Aang from Avatar to swoop in!

>>18850084
..........................nat 100

>>18850084

What the fuck?

>>18850074
USE THE PITCHER ON HORUS

>>18850095
You suddenly blaze with power, and a carona of pure psychic energy surrounds you. The combatants stagger from such power and with a single swing, you splash the pitcher of lemonade into Horus's daemonically warped face.

rolled 37 = 37

>>18850129
Rolling for Aang again!

>>18850129
Charge him for the pitcher we just chucked in his face.

>>18850129
"PAY UP MOTHERFUCKER, LEMONS AREN'T CHEAP. AND I USED A WHOLE LOT OF EM IN THAT PITCHER I JUST GOT IN YOUR FACE."

>>18850185
You scream your grievances and sorrows, along with the price of the lemons into Horus's face. Horus pays no mind, as he is shrieking, a truly dreadful and mind rending sound, from the citric acids burning in his eyes. You also have a glimpse of a bald boy with large ears and tattoos.

>>18850408
This is fucking gold right here.

>>18850408
Ask the God Emperor if he wants some lemonade.

>>18850560
I'm sure he'll want some, he must be parched after that long and trying battle with that loud dude with lemonade in his eyes.

>>18850540
The God-Emperor, with a single blow over such a waste of lemonade, slays his son. However, he is mortally dehydrated and he falls to your feet. Knowing that he needs refreshment and having no other option, you remove this from your special spot and shove it down his throat.

>>18850669
If the Emperor turns into an Empress/or is wearing a French maid's outfit in a minute, Minute Maid is obviously deceiving its customers with false advertising.

>>18850669

That's concentrated evil! Don't touch it!

The Emperor turns blue and passes out, but he is still alive. Frozen Pink Minute Maid lemonade may have saved him, but it also damned him in the process. You wonder what sort of effect this will have in the future as you walk out of the room.

>>18850753
I LOVE YOU BRO LMFAO.

No but really, bald boy with tattoos made my fucking night lol

You wake up with a lurch, and you see that you are surrounded by the dead and most horrifyingly, your stand is tipped over. The corpses of Eldar banshees surround you, and with a shudder you realize that they bled to death from vaginal penetration. They you realize you are wearing no pants and you are covered in bodily fluids.
You hear rumbling from behind and you look to see the fat inquisitor is riding on a platypus bear and Draigo is following close behind on a Big Wheel, his noble legs pumping like the pistons of a battlecruiser.
"We see you have passed the test of lemons. I pronounce you Inquisitor. For great lemonry."

THE END

On the next episode expect Inquisitor Lemons to fight heresy with chocolate.

>>18850966

the fuck?

>>18851038
Questfagging while drunk/high has that effect. It is also extremely awsome.

>>18850966
Someone HAS archived this right?