Posting mode: Reply
Password(Password used for file deletion)
  • Supported file types are: GIF, JPG, PNG
  • Maximum file size allowed is 3072 KB.
  • Images greater than 250x250 pixels will be thumbnailed.
  • Read the rules and FAQ before posting.
  • ????????? - ??

  • File: 1335376031.gif-(448 KB, 500x275, doctorinreain.gif)
    448 KB Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)13:47 No.18857254  
    >Be a medieval peasant
    >Local lord goes to war, forced conscription on every man that's able to serve in the army
    >Be one of those
    >Be engaged
    >Fight battles
    >Lose friends
    >Fight more battles
    >Lose more friends
    >Finally, after 3 years, return home
    >Fiancee ran off with a rich merchant, thinking you were dead
    >Track her down, she screams at you for leaving her
    >Her husband bribes guard, he throws you out of the city
    >Get married to the big-breasted, slightly overweight, redheaded daughter of the baker
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)13:48 No.18857262

    >good end
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)13:48 No.18857263
    Copypasta. Almost stale, but not quite yet.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)13:48 No.18857269
    Things are finally looking up!
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)13:49 No.18857278
         File: 1335376193.jpg-(49 KB, 280x317, wullalala.jpg)
    49 KB
    Wait, if this is the good ending, what is the bad one?
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 04/25/12(Wed)13:51 No.18857291
    Wait a bit. I think I've seen this pattern before. Are you also a blacksmith son who's suppose to forge an armor that can protect the hero from any attack?
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)13:52 No.18857298
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)13:53 No.18857313
         File: 1335376432.jpg-(29 KB, 600x338, planned.jpg)
    29 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)13:54 No.18857316
    >a year later die of pneumonia
    >your baby girl and wife won't survive much longer
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)13:54 No.18857321
         File: 1335376456.jpg-(11 KB, 255x255, stare.jpg)
    11 KB

    Ending is always the same, story is different.
    The one your talking about is
    >Be blacksmith peasant
    >Fiancee is chosen one
    >She goes to save the world
    >Forge her the best sword you can for when she returns
    >Saves world
    >Marries to the cleric who supported her
    >Doesn't recognizes you.
    And then the ending is the same
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)13:57 No.18857355
         File: 1335376662.jpg-(39 KB, 500x284, french_laughing.jpg)
    39 KB
    > 1458 in the Year of Our Lord Christ
    > Not going after the miller's daughter

    She has inherited her worldly views from her father, whose wiliness is surpassed only by the most cunning of Jews.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)13:58 No.18857361
    There's just an overabundant supply of big-breasted, slightly overweight redheaded daughters of bakers so they tend to be pretty easy.
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 04/25/12(Wed)14:01 No.18857398
         File: 1335376890.png-(109 KB, 405x475, 1332844519624.png)
    109 KB
    Yeah that's the one. Damn NTR.
    But there's never enough tomboy daughter of the blacksmith.
    Such a horrible world we live in.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:05 No.18857436
    If they ain't big-breasted, slightly overweight, and redheaded she ain't shit.
    Also we aren't in 1458 you filthy heathen.
    It's the 1029th year of the Lord.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:09 No.18857481
         File: 1335377353.jpg-(75 KB, 500x351, isthisreallife.jpg)
    75 KB

    That's sad man.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:10 No.18857497
    >Get married to the big-breasted, slightly overweight, redheaded daughter of the baker

    So you won?
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:13 No.18857535
    >Marries to the cleric who supported her
    >Doesn't recognizes you.

    Man, there's breaking something off because of circumstances, and then there's just cold. I almost feel bad for the cleric, if she's that much of a bitch.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:16 No.18857572
    Something about nobility and political power.
    I don't remember.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:17 No.18857580
         File: 1335377850.gif-(27 KB, 500x346, 1335101051825.gif)
    27 KB
    Wait, I heard a different version

    >fiance ran off with a rich merchant, thinking you were dead
    >spend years crying and fapping back in home village
    >turn 30 while still a virgin
    >gain wizard powers
    >ride the land on a unicorn made of lightning, turning the local lord and the rich merchant into big-breasted, slightly overweight baker's daughters
    >marry them both
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:20 No.18857610

    basically it had been almost a decade, and the king ran off his stupid mouth and declared that they were getting married.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:20 No.18857612

    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:23 No.18857644
    Could be, don't know it exactly anymore.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:23 No.18857645
    >Be 18th Century Printer
    >Asshole Master keeps fucking you over with pay and career prospects.
    >His wife's cat eats better then you do.
    >Get a bunch of cats and start making caterwauling noises outside their house.
    >Get told to take care of the cats by the Master
    >Grab all the cats, including the Master's Wife's and murder them horrifically.
    >It's fucking hilarious
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:31 No.18857730
    Nah, dude, it's just fantasy.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:33 No.18857752
    He's been caught in a landslide
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:34 No.18857760

    No escape from reality.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:38 No.18857806
    >Be a medieval peasant
    >Local lord goes to war, forced conscription on every man that's able to serve in the army
    >Be one of those
    >Be engaged
    >Fight battles
    >Lose friends
    >Fight more battles
    >Lose more friends
    >Finally, after 3 years, return home
    >Fiancee ran off with a rich merchant, thinking you were dead
    >Track her down, she screams at you for leaving her
    >Her husband bribes guard, he throws you out of the city
    >feeling utterly defeated you fall back on the knowledge gained in your years at war
    >you scour the countryside
    >years pass and you've amassed a rag tag army of thieves, cutthroats, bandits, and marauders
    >you promise them blood, women, and riches under your leadership
    >you return to the town
    >demand that the merchant and his whore be turned over to you or you'll let loose your horde
    >they, of course, refuse
    >too trusting they are in the safety of their walls and complacent militia
    >this is the weakness you hoped to exploit
    >you and your army siege the city
    >you leave no one alive in your wake, no structure standing
    >finally, wounded and exhausted from the battle you come upon the merchant and his wife attempting elude your men and flee through a breach in the wall
    >your pains and weariness forgotten you call out to them in this, the sweetest of triumphs
    >they turn to you in horror
    >the man is indeed the merchant, but the woman is not your fiancee
    >you slaughter them anyhow before sucumbing to your wounds
    >rage and failure surround you as you perish in the ruins of the city, her name on your lips
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:39 No.18857817

    >she left the merchant years ago, not long after you began building your army of vengeance
    >realizing what she had done to you she was overcome by shame and regret
    >she sought to find you and make amends, perhaps even pick up where the two of you left off back when you were whisked off to war
    >always one step behind you and your men she eventually gave in to despair and ceased her hunt meaning to return to life as the merchant's wife
    >she returned home in time to see the merchant wed some other girl
    >upon seeing her he had the guards toss her out of the city
    >she wandered aimlessly through the land using and strengthening the skills she had picked up during her futile hunt for you
    >eventually she hears word of a growing force forming under a rebellious man who seeks to sack your home town and kill a certain merchant
    >she tracks down their camp and joins up mere days before you reach your goal
    >she never even guesses that the man now leading her is in fact you
    >the man she had been searching for
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:40 No.18857828
    >Not dying in the first battle knowing your place in heaven is secured
    Get on my level [spoiler]peasant.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:40 No.18857831

    >in the end, after your army has dispersed with their treasures and the city lays in waste
    >it is she that finds your body not far from those of the merchant and his replacement wife
    >realization hits her like a rock fired from one of the trebuchets that brought down the city wall mere hours ago
    >she removes your helmet and breastplate and embraces you tightly, willing you back to life, willing you back to your old self
    >but this is no fairy tale children, no amount of belief or tears will bring back the dead
    >she weeps silently beside your corpse until dawn
    >in the light of morning she leaves you under a roughly constructed stone cairn and walks off into the horizon
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:42 No.18857842
    >Be a medieval peasant
    >Local lord goes to war, forced conscription on every man that's able to serve in the army
    >Be one of those
    >Be engaged
    >Die of dysentery before seeing a single battle
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:44 No.18857863
    Open your eyes
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:44 No.18857869
         File: 1335379479.gif-(478 KB, 140x105, cryingnigga.gif)
    478 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:45 No.18857874

    Look up to the skies
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:46 No.18857883


    I just shed a manly tear.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:47 No.18857889
    And see
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:48 No.18857908

    I'm just a poor boy
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:49 No.18857909
    >Finally, after 3 years, return home

    Stopped reading there, you know nothing about how medieval peasantry was obliged to serve during wartimes.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:50 No.18857918

    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:50 No.18857921

    Then how about telling us?
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:51 No.18857922
    I need no sympathy
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:51 No.18857926
         File: 1335379893.jpg-(26 KB, 320x332, 1335227699094.jpg)
    26 KB
    The one guy who read Chaucer and thus understood the joke reporting in.
    Illiterate faggots, all of you.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:52 No.18857931

    Because I'm easy come, easy go
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:52 No.18857935
    >be a medieval peasant
    >king goes to war
    >shite, pretty shilling's worth more'n breaking your back on the farm
    >your old man taught you how to handle a halberd (well, a big oaken cudgel, but it's the spirit of things)
    >join the army, send the money home to your mom, the sickly old farthag
    >holey shite, so much dysentery, good thing we's got nothing to eat
    >'ere come the friching French again, hold fast lads
    >well, that was nasty, take me some leave to dump the swag at my place
    >walk aroond in captured breastplate, be a friching celebrity, bitches all over me bishop
    >tis a fair cop
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:54 No.18857948
    I do believe this deserves a screen cap.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:55 No.18857956

    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:56 No.18857958
    Geoffrey, go back to grave.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:57 No.18857967
         File: 1335380254.jpg-(26 KB, 480x286, Push button receive rhapsody.jpg)
    26 KB
    Oh, my, what have I DONE?
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:58 No.18857973

    Well for starters, they actually had periods of time during the year where the Church itself basically said "Ok Nobles, I know you guys like fighting each other over the drop of a hat for one retarded reason or another, but you really need to stop doing it during the planting and harvesting seasons. Some of us like to eat after all."

    Also theres a big list of stuff that will technically get you excommunicated on the spot, like stealing farm animals. And technically theres only like... eighty days of the entire year where its kosher to fight under the Truce of God.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:58 No.18857974
    >Be a medieval peasant
    >Local lord goes to war, forced conscription on every man that's able to serve in the army
    This didn't happen, stop getting your historical knowledge from fantasy games.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:58 No.18857980
    Little high, little low.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:59 No.18857987

    Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)14:59 No.18857988
    Not that guy. IIRC Peasants only fought for a few weeks or months at a time. When that time was up they went home, even if the war wasn't finished.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:01 No.18858012
    Mama, I just killed a man, put a gun against his head, pulled the trigger now he's dead
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:01 No.18858014
         File: 1335380503.gif-(1.22 MB, 196x197, clappetyclap.gif)
    1.22 MB
    >tis a fair cop
    oh fuck me I lost it.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:01 No.18858016

    Thank you both. I didnt know that though this just shows how muck it sucks to not have army of regulars.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:02 No.18858020

    Mama..life had just begun
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:02 No.18858021
         File: 1335380545.jpg-(277 KB, 863x1194, 1332923013060.jpg)
    277 KB
    If anyone's wondering, here's a picture of the redheaded baker's daughter. This proves that baker's daughter = good end
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:02 No.18858022
         File: 1335380548.jpg-(134 KB, 333x500, 1326845672495.jpg)
    134 KB

    >expecting historical accuracy
    >on /tg/
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:03 No.18858033

    Or at least, the one that was posted in the LAST commoner general thread
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:04 No.18858035
    But now I've gone an thrown it alllllll away
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:04 No.18858038

    Pretty much. Theres actual historical accounts of two sides meeting on opposite sides of a river, and the leaders getting together and hammering out a deal where one side would be allowed to ford the river before the battle started.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:04 No.18858039
    I copied/greentextified a couple of the commoner backgrounds I've heard over the past few months. Should I post them?
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:04 No.18858043

    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:06 No.18858049
    Didn't mean to make you cry,
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:06 No.18858050
    MAMA!. oooOOooOO
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:06 No.18858058
    If I'm, not back again this time tommorrow...
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:06 No.18858059

    If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
    >> Braith117 !!p+mQRoefJzS 04/25/12(Wed)15:07 No.18858061
         File: 1335380834.jpg-(915 KB, 970x1500, 1330357211742.jpg)
    915 KB
    And here's your daughter in about 12 years
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:07 No.18858064
    post that shit you jolly neckbeard you

    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:07 No.18858067
    Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters...
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:08 No.18858070


    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:08 No.18858071
    >not overweight
    >small tits
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:09 No.18858073

    Too late, my time has come
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:09 No.18858075

    Abridged version of "Sword of Eternal Endings" etc. etc.

    >Be gangly-limbed son of a blacksmith
    >Betrothed to marry childhood love
    >Childhood love is prophesied to be some great hero
    >Blacksmith must stay behind to forge ultimate armor
    >Bitch marries bumbling wizard sidekick after defeating ultimate evil
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:09 No.18858077



    Brb, going to ask bakers daughter to marry me.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:10 No.18858079
    She's neither large breasted or slightly overweight.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:10 No.18858082

    Also, she didn't need your armor after all..forgot that part.

    >Approached by adventurers. “Any rumors lately?”
    >Think of miller fucking blacksmith’s daughter
    >Think of tailor’s son sneaking off to dog fights every Sunday
    >Think about the tailor having gay sex with the local duke
    >Think of the cobbler that beats his wife, but threatens to kill me if I tell anyone
    >“Yeah, I saw some orcs in the town ten miles from here”
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:10 No.18858087

    All the better.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:10 No.18858088
    Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:11 No.18858091
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:11 No.18858094

    There were others posted, but they were pretty poor quality, so I didn't save them. Sorry, chap.

    Next commoner story:

    >Adventurers come to town
    >Apparently they’ll run mundane errands if you promise them ‘magic items’
    >Decide to get rid of an old, rusting urn in the corner
    >Trade my “Vessel of the Timeless” for a goblin whetstone
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:11 No.18858097

    Goodbye, ev'rybody, I've got to go
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:11 No.18858098
         File: 1335381119.jpg-(413 KB, 948x3997, 1324180896182.jpg)
    413 KB
    Technically not Commonermode, but this one is adorable.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:11 No.18858099
         File: 1335381119.jpg-(41 KB, 480x366, smutno_zle.jpg)
    41 KB

    still better a commoner thread, than an elf ranger thread.

    Snotty little bastards. Can barely stand those.

    Now, I've met some real decent elves. They tend to be reserved and calm, someone may be put off by their regard to environment and all, but some of those ultra-conservatives that won't even let you enjoy a hike in the mountains. And don't get me started on those man-eating cultists. I wish people were not taking Dwarf Fortress so seriously...
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:13 No.18858108
    Got to leave you all behind and face the truth
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:13 No.18858110

    >Get married, have a pretty good life
    >Prophet tells me I’m to help a certain hero
    >Spend several years searching for said hero, fail to find them
    >Wind up getting trapped in Warforged armor
    >Return home after many years, find my wife was pregnant before I left
    >My son is now a man
    >Teach him everything I know
    >Wife grows old, dies
    >Son grows old, has family, dies
    >Want to end it, but am duty-bound to watch over my line and wait for the hero
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:13 No.18858113
         File: 1335381215.jpg-(30 KB, 409x189, 1314851459392.jpg)
    30 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:14 No.18858119

    Mamaaaaaaa ohhhhh
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:14 No.18858122
    No need to apologize good sir. I wasn't offended, simply making an observation.
    >> Braith117 !!p+mQRoefJzS 04/25/12(Wed)15:14 No.18858125
    She probably just lost a few pounds after the wedding.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:15 No.18858134

    >Adventurer’s mean trouble
    >They bring in money, but they escalate all of our problems
    >Probably end up dead before they leave
    >They hold all the power, but we do all the work that keeps the world running.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:16 No.18858142
    I don't want to die,
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:16 No.18858144
    That's not how wives work at all!
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:16 No.18858150

    >Be Mayor
    >Forced to form committees and town meetings to solve local problems
    >People call me indecisive, but I just want to please everyone
    >I get our problems solved as best I can, and we make out okay
    >Adventurer’s blow into town to help with a problem involving animated bushes eating our cattle.
    >Ignore my authority entirely, talk to that bitch at the miller’s guild
    >She sends them on an adventure
    >They return with a young white dragon the cleric befriended
    >They make a deal with the guild leader and other influential members of the town
    >The dragon is now mayor and I’m nothing but a beggar
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:17 No.18858153

    I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:18 No.18858157
    I see a little silhouetto of a man,
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:18 No.18858164

    Scaramouche! Scaramouche! Will you do the Fandango?
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:19 No.18858168

    In one of the stories, the gangly limbed son of blacksmith wound up seeking revenge, and the redheaded baker's daughter became an adventurer in order to find him before he wound up killing the 'chosen one' and becoming a BBEG

    Also, in another one, the baker's daughter actually WAS the chosen one, and she had been assuming a different identity to match what the hero was 'supposed' to be.

    Also, in another one, she was a crazy person who was mad jelly of the blacksmith and the 'chosen one', so she hired a drifter to tell the girl she was the chosen one to get her out of the way...I don't remember how it ended, but I'm pretty sure the baker's daughter kills her and feeds her to the blacksmith's son
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:19 No.18858169

    A bolt to head doesnt kill me, it just makes me angrier.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:20 No.18858178
    Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me!
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:20 No.18858182

    This one is probably my favorite:

    >Make a living as a roof thatcher and tailor
    >Just sitting by my window sewing up some pants when I see a ragtag band of four stroll into town
    >They head straight to the inn/tavern owned by Sheamus McBargle
    >Next day, wake up to general sounds of chaos
    >The ragtag band is wrecking stuff and holding people at steel point
    >Muscled guy in bulky armor yanks me from my doorway and pushes me against the side of my hut
    >He's holds a sword at my throat; he looks spooked out of his wits
    >He demands I answer why the village doesn't have any children
    >"What? That's ridicul-"
    >33 years living in this village
    >Never heard a baby's cry or seen children at play
    >Can't even remember my own childhood
    >"Sweet mother of God..."
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:20 No.18858184
    Send a bolt of lighting, very very fighting me
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:20 No.18858186
         File: 1335381657.jpg-(141 KB, 1356x1946, 1332179670573.jpg)
    141 KB
    I saved this picture for one of those threads.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:21 No.18858196
    How were the Crusades fought, out of curiosity? Taking the excess sons of peasants, but leaving most? Recruiting people that can be lost without stopping food production like artisans and crap? I am intrigued.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:22 No.18858206
    And now I've saved it as well. Thanks, chap.


    >Be a dungeoneer
    >Work long hours for shitty pay
    >Cleaning out dungeons of cultists, monsters, etc.
    >Like an adventurer but with no phony self-righteous pretenses
    >Still get blamed whenever those asshats fuck something up.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:22 No.18858207

    Galileo, Galileo
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:23 No.18858209

    Aaaaaaaaand, anon delivers.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:23 No.18858214
    Galileo, Galileo
    >> Braith117 !!p+mQRoefJzS 04/25/12(Wed)15:23 No.18858218
         File: 1335381822.jpg-(171 KB, 594x900, 1331326704820.jpg)
    171 KB
    There are exceptions to every rule.

    Also, remember that armor and sword you made for your old fiance?

    Your daughter grows up, decides to use it, and ends up saving the world.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:23 No.18858222

    >Spent years studying history, anthropology, political theory
    >Find out about new ruins that will shed light on the greatest empire the world has yet seen
    >When I get there, the place is smashed up, looted, and devoid of all cultural artifacts
    >This happens every time
    >Start sending research teams ahead from now on
    >Arm them, send some guards to keep them safe
    >Adventurer’s think they’re bandits
    >Kill everyone
    >Looted, Plundered, Smashed up, etc.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:25 No.18858227

    >Bastard child of a petty noble
    >Join the militia, eventually become castle drillmaster
    >Lords treat me crap
    >Villagers think I’m a dog of the state
    >Hear recruits talking about how unapproachable I am
    >Barmaid I’m soft on agrees with them
    >I just wanted to keep them all safe, damn it
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:26 No.18858237

    Last one I've got

    >Local alcoholic
    >Spends all time in the tavern
    >Don’t give a fuck
    >Ragtag adventurers approach one day
    >Make up some shit about a lost tomb so they leave
    >Go back to drinking
    >Never see them again
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:26 No.18858241
    >Medieval Peasant
    >Killed 42 men with cheap weapons
    >been in a dozen battles
    >survived the black plague
    >fathered 5 children with 2 surviving
    >Speak 8 languages fluently
    >Can't write
    >Lost an arm in last battle
    >Age 24

    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:28 No.18858258

    Galileo, Figaro - magnifico
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:28 No.18858263
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:29 No.18858270
    I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:31 No.18858283

    He's just a poor boy from a poor family
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:31 No.18858284
    The original

    > Be the dark-haired, gangly-limbed son of a blacksmith
    > Be engaged to a beautiful blond girl whom you are completely devoted to
    > She learns that she's actually the Chosen One, destined to wield the Blade of Eternal Endings, and that only she can bring peace to the land for ten generations
    > You ask to go with her, but the prophet who informed her tells you that your place is in the village, forging the ultimate armor for her so that she will protected in the final battle
    > She goes on an epic quest to right the unrightable wrongs, fight the unbeatable foe, and run where the brave dare not go, succeeding in all of these things
    > Spend all of your money to get a lift so that you can attend the parade in her honor after she finishes her quest
    > The king announces that she's now engaged to her sidekick, a bumbling (male) wizard, he's so wacky, and that she will succeed him as regeant of the throne
    > She looks over the crowd next to her husband-to-be, and your eyes lock for the briefest of moments
    > She doesn't even recognize you
    > Go home, marry the slightly overweight redheaded daughter of a baker, who's devoted to you, but you never truly love her and she never understands why
    > After all your children move away and your wife dies, settle in bed one last time, sensing your own death this night, at age 46
    > Turn your head to the right as you close your eyes
    > Your last sight is of the armor your queen ended up not needing, that you've kept positively immaculate for twenty-three years
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:33 No.18858302
    Spare him his life from this monstrosity!
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:34 No.18858312

    Easy come, easy go, will you let me go
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:35 No.18858318
    Bismilah! No, we will not let you go
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:36 No.18858329

    (Let him go!) Bismilah! We will not let you go

    (I have to GTFO now, someone take over for the last few verses please)
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:37 No.18858338
    >Bismilah! We will not let you GTFO
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:38 No.18858344
         File: 1335382710.jpg-(81 KB, 425x253, what-is-this-i-dont-even-16439(...).jpg)
    81 KB
    > Be Lord of a lovely Barony, have nice cavalry and local peasants seem to be good people
    > Fucking Highlord gives orders from King from Pope
    > "It's Time for a Crusade to the Holy Land Motherfuckkas!"
    > My cavalry is expected to be used for the king, my peasants are needed for the Forlorn Hope for some random ass conquest somewhere along the way
    > Don't want to fuck the peasantry over after all the fucking good food they produced and we have the best god damn baker in all of Europe
    > Baker has a busty redhead daughter
    > Highlord's conniving merchant son has a thing for busty redheads
    > Broker an arranged marriage to prevent waste of a perfectly good baker and my barony
    > Highlord screws me over, takes local populace for forlorn hope anyway and marries of his son to some poor sap's fiance.
    > Go on crusade with king, most of cavalry wasted, everyone in unit is freaking wounded, loose eyesight in left eye
    > Come back from crusade, barony wasted by poor sap
    > wtf.jpg
    >Screw this I am going back to the holy land...
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:38 No.18858348
    (Let him go!) Bismilah! We will not let you go

    (Same, I have class. It was fun fellow anon)
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:45 No.18858424

    >Be slightly overweight redheaded baker's daughter
    >Have a crush on the blacksmith's son
    >He doesn't even know I exist, spends all his time with some blonde bimbo
    >They get betrothed
    >Mystic shows up, tells the blonde girl she's the chosen one, and that the blacksmith's son must stay behind to craft her the ultimate armor
    >Still care about the blacksmith's son, lovesick as all hell
    >He devotes himself entirely to his work
    >Often forgets to eat
    >I bring him food and drink every day. He never says anything, but the empty plates are left out every evening.
    >Drought, years of poor harvests due to growing evil (why hasn't that blonde bitch done something about it yet. Well?"
    >Father dies, I have to assume control of the bakery
    >Food is expensive due to the dark times
    >Still feeding the blacksmith's son
    >Frequently skip meals so he can stay healthy.
    >Eventually, he finishes with the armor.
    >Waits patiently for the blonde girl to come claim it
    >She never does
    >Defeats the ultimate evil without it
    >Blacksmith's son is inconsolable
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:47 No.18858442
    As an actual archaeologist, I feel guilty when playing or running games where characters are likely to do that. I suspect I am a bad person.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:48 No.18858458
    (Let me go) Will not let you go
    (Let me go)(Never) Never let you go
    (Let me go) Never let you go (Let me go) Ah
    No, no, no, no, no, no, no
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:50 No.18858485
    >job is to delve into tombs and ancient ruins
    >be on /tg/ and play games pretending to do exactly that
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:51 No.18858489

    >It takes a while, but he eventually comes out of his rut.
    >We get married, have a daughter
    >He's frequently distant, doesn't take as much interest in the family.
    >Still the best blacksmith in the kingdom.
    >He refuses to sell any of the equipment he makes, however, so I have to keep our family afloat with the bakery (harvests are good, so grain is plentiful again)
    >Years pass...he grows more depressed, stops working entirely
    >I always try to keep his spirits up, but there's no helping it this time.
    >He gets ill, dies with the blonde girl's name on his lips
    >Realize I've wasted my entire life caring for him.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:57 No.18858554
    I generally run sci fi stuff online with friends, but have played Pathfinder in the past and likely will again. Killing dragons has a timeless quality to it. Fucking uppity reptiles

    >And I don't know if grad school is really a job, even if it is my life...
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:58 No.18858558
    Oh, also the work of digging is way more boring than people suspect even in their worst nightmares. The fun for me is the analysis
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:58 No.18858563
    >call yourself an actual archaeologist
    >not pulling an indiana jones

    wasted opportunity
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:59 No.18858569
         File: 1335383961.jpg-(68 KB, 500x316, nolulz.jpg)
    68 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)15:59 No.18858577

    >Be the daughter of a world-famous blacksmith and a humble baker woman.
    >Grow up constantly seeking my father's approval.
    >He spends all of his time working on masterwork equipment, ignores me and mom
    >Mom is visibly depressed all the time, but stays solely devoted to dad
    >I grow up basically unnoticed by my father, wind up taking on responsibilities in the household I should have to
    >Gather wood/coal/etc. for him to burn in his forge
    >Do all the repairs on our home
    >Keep my mother safe from suitors in the village, thuggish adventurers, the riffraff that's always coming through to see the hometown of the 'chosen one'
    >Become tough through hard work
    >Dad dies
    >Mom stops tending the bakery, barely speaks, forgets to eat.
    >I start going through my father's old works, trying to sell off anything that can keep the bills paid.
    >It's all great work, but far too expensive for anyone in our village or any of the caravans to afford.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:01 No.18858601
    Put that shit on and go adventuring.

    There's no other way.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:03 No.18858622
    >Be lord of a small county
    > Local Barons and Knights are good folks, don't get to hear much about peasantry but apparently our small part of the kingdom is thriving.
    > Pope screams time for a crusade, god wills it yaddy yadda... king needs our people
    > Most local barons are cool except for one whiny little bitch, who makes a shitty offer of marriage for a son that isn't even mine. (some baker's daughter or some shit)
    > Take his peasants for forlorn hope for insult upon my honor.
    > Put the forlorn hope through hell, but one peasant stands out as a warrior, broody as fuck about his wife but its quite the warrior
    > Make him a knight, give him some land and a title
    > Bastard son marries knights wife
    > Knight goes on killing spree in my least favorite barony
    > Baron is confused goes back to holy land to sort things out.
    > Go to barony to see what's up. Bastard killed by my favorite knight, who is now mortally wounded over yet another random woman
    > Rescue Knight, hopefully a useful ally later if he gets out of coma
    > Rescue some random busty redhead just for shits
    > Not a single fuck was given that day
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:04 No.18858630
    Volunteers and Feudal Levies. Lets say you are a Duke, and you want to go on crusade. You gather up all of the counts and barons that are your vassals, and all your household troops. They in turn get their vassals and household troops. Ask your fellow Dukes if they want to get in on some sweet, sweet crusading as long as you are going. You don't drum up the peasants to fight, as you are going too far away and they need to work the fields, however some may volunteer because glory and god. Hedge-knights and mercenaries might tag along too, maybe with, maybe without pay. Horde of camp followers forms from fanatical zealots. Maybe one of the Knightly Crusader Orders will tag along too, who knows? Its all very imprecise, because feudalism.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:04 No.18858636
    Take armor, weapons, gain first level as fighter, begin quest to kill dragons for profit.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:05 No.18858655

    Basically the Pope Urban II wanted to have some mercenaries or a few nobles go aid the Byzantines, since he kinda wanted to reconcile the two Churches. He gives a big speech at the council of Trent, of which we sadly have four different conflicting accounts. The big deal is that each version of the speech basically offers complete and utter remission of all sins past, present, and future for those who go fight the infidel. A huge response develops, and after a couple false starts, a dozen or so major nobles, plus a bunch of minor secondary sons set out, supported by thousands of armed pilgrims from all walks of life. A ton of them die either in the first group to set out, or just from being so stupid as to walk all the way to the Holy Land from Europe. They luck out in that the Muslims are divided and fighting each other just as much as they are fighting these crazed religious zealots who came out of nowhere, and conquer the Holy City, unleashing a massacre of such horrible scale that primary sources state that "Men waded through lakes of blood in the Temple up to their stirrups" or some shit.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:07 No.18858671

    >Come across a pristine suit of armor, sword, and shield in the attic
    >My heart begins to beat rapidly. I've not lived long, but this sight is the most beautiful I've yet seen.
    >I can't help myself. I don the armor, strap on the shield, and hold the sword.
    >It all fits perfectly, and the weight is negligible.
    >Realize that this is THE equipment that made my father famous. Yet, it's never been used.
    >A mixture of desperation and excitement crystallize into resolve inside me.
    >I leave home that night without saying goodbye.
    >Fall in with a group of pilgrims that follow the path of the "Chosen One", visiting places of significance to that quest.
    >They pay me to keep them safe.
    >The money is good. Enough for me to live on, and to send money back to mom.
    >Don't pay much attention to the stories they talk about. I'm not a hero; just a girl who does what she has to.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:15 No.18858788
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:16 No.18858797
    And now for part three
    > Be King
    > Pope wants a crusade, pope pays the bills and resolves conflict, not to mention vicar of Christ on earth
    > Put out orders to nobles try to make things equal
    > Get some hillbilly retard strength cavalry with bumpkin baron as part of my main regiment
    > They kick a surprising amount of ass.
    > Tell the baron that his people are exempt from this shit in the future
    > His people kick more ass
    > Grant him one request
    > He just wants his barony to have the good life
    > Understand and send his people home.
    > One year later his barony has torn itself apart in a local conflict
    > He offers himself up as part of kings guard
    > One of my counts sends some legendary knight for his partition to kings guard
    > Knight kills my hillbilly pal, in front of me.
    > Knight tells me harrowing story of how the love of his life was taken by some merchant that could have been prevented by hill billy pal
    > Explain to knight that actually the orders came from his count buddy
    > Explain to the knight that he is responsible for the death of everything he loves and that is enough punishment that I won't kill him
    > Knight swears revenge on the count and leaves with some busty redhead.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:19 No.18858830
    I will do something completely different next I swear.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:19 No.18858832

    >Years pass. The work for pilgrims is beneath my abilities, so I seek harder, more profitable work
    >Find myself entering dungeons by myself, slaying mythical beasts, and uncovering treasures untold.
    >A mystic approaches me one day...
    >Tells me that there is a task that only I can complete, and that accomplishing it will earn me the rule of this kingdom.
    >Know enough of the pilgrim's stories to see the similarities.
    >Against my better judgement, I undertake the quest he gives me
    >Eventually, I meet an awkward young mage who aids me in my travels.
    >The end of the quest draws nigh
    >We ascend the tower of a powerful Lich, with the intent to slay him.
    >As we near the Lich's lair, I hear laughter
    >A bolt of pure energy strikes me in the back, paralyzing me and knocking me to the ground
    >The mage who I thought was my friend stands over me
    >"Yes, yes...you'll make a fine servant. Much more powerful than that pathetic Queen ever was..."
    >His face melts away, revealing the skeletal visage of a Lich
    >I remember the stories of the Chosen One, how she defeated the ultimate evil without the ultimate armor
    >Anger wells up in me
    >I've got my father's sword
    >My father's armor
    >My mother's strength of heart
    >I won't falter here
    >I close my hand around the grip sword, forcing myself to my feet by sheer force of will
    >The Lich is visibly shocked, but has no time to react.
    >I strike him down with everything that I am.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:22 No.18858858

    Please make this into a good end, please.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:23 No.18858871
    It all makes sense now !
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:24 No.18858884
         File: 1335385467.png-(229 KB, 640x480, PolnarefManlyTears.png)
    229 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:25 No.18858905

    If you dont make this into a good end where blacksmith finnaly admits he loves the bakers daughter and they live happly after in haven,

    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:25 No.18858906
    And then...he regenerates ten days later at his phylactery hidden in the elemental plane of air and the whole dance begins again!
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:26 No.18858911
    Yet the question remains...
    Whom does she marry!?
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:26 No.18858912
    I know how liches work, my friend. Just let me finish the story
    >> Braith117 !!p+mQRoefJzS 04/25/12(Wed)16:28 No.18858941
         File: 1335385726.jpg-(247 KB, 900x1108, 1302723895496.jpg)
    247 KB
    Totally called it.

    Also, another picture of your wife and daughter before all the excitement happened.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:28 No.18858942
         File: 1335385732.png-(2 KB, 48x64, sigurd[1].png)
    2 KB
    Why am I such a sucker for generation-spanning stories.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:33 No.18859000

    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:34 No.18859010


    grip of my sword* fuck, how could I ruin the climax like that? Oh well, next part

    >My strength fails me as I exit the tower
    >I collapse on the ground, unconscious
    >It's several days later when I awaken in a small hovel, to the familiar smell of baking bread.
    >I must be dead. This is the only afterlife a baker's daughter-turned-adventurer deserves.
    >My body aches in protest, convincing me that I must still be alive.
    >"Oh good, you're awake. You had me worried, miss."
    >A dark-haired boy around my age, with gangly limbs and an awkward smile, enters from another room.
    >He has a fresh loaf of bread.
    >He tells me that he found my collapsed near the abandoned tower across the hills to the west, and carried me back here by himself (he's really proud of that fact, though I know that my gear and my own weight can't be more than three hundred pounds total)
    >He offers to let me stay with him until I get my strength back
    >A few weeks pass. The baker continues to feed and take care of me in my weakened state.
    >I should be pleased by this, but something nags at me
    >The story of the Chosen One who defeated the ultimate evil, her bumbling mage assistant, her seat on the throne.
    >And the armor my father crafted, but the hero never claimed.
    >And the Lich I 'killed'
    >The pieces start to fit together in my mind.
    >My work isn't over, not yet.
    >In the dark of night, I gather my equipment, leaving behind a sack of gold coins to repay the baker.
    >However, as I step outside into the brisk air, a voice catches me
    >"You're leaving, aren't you?"
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:40 No.18859084
    > Be baker
    > Wife has been dead for years, daughter is all I have and makes me proud every day.
    > Yet she always seems a little sad.
    > Bakery is the talk of the town, the lords in the area love my bread and the townsfolk love my prices (thanks to my best friend the miller having an arrangement with me)
    > War breaks out, us old guys have to sit it out, daughter seems sad.
    > Try to introduce daughter to local lads in the village, she only has eyes for some fledgling black smith.
    > Do my best at what I do to keep my daughter happy and myself in shape.
    > Some local warlords come back.
    > My daughter comes back one day the happiest she has ever been in her life
    > Daughter tells me she is going to be married to the now extremely talented blacksmith.
    > Get daughter the marriage she deserves, use money saved for this
    > Daughter is the happiest she has ever been in her life.
    > Daughter comes up after I give her away to the blacksmith
    > Says "Thank You Daddy" -- Proudest moment of my life.
    > Few years pass, old man now, I am now a grand father
    > Grand daughter is always happy my daughter is well, leave money to her in will.
    > I can live the rest of my life with peace of mind that my daughter will be looked after, and my grand daughter will be fine
    > Die with peace of mind.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:43 No.18859120
         File: 1335386625.png-(28 KB, 300x748, 1304359997946.png)
    28 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:44 No.18859132
    Well that was not the reaction I was hoping for when I wrote that.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:46 No.18859159
    >be young farmer
    >"gee, it sure hasn't rained in a while"
    >get sacrificed to Tlaloc

    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:47 No.18859161
    Wait, I feel like I missed something. My brain is a clusterfuck right now. Re-reading the whole thing.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:48 No.18859176

    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:48 No.18859183
    I'm the guy who wrote/is writing this set

    The guy who posted


    Is someone else, and is posting his own work. I don't think he means to 'continue' off of mine
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:50 No.18859204
    Yeah seriously ,no intention for continuation bro. Just posting something while we await the rest of your masterpiece.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:52 No.18859223
    As much fun as this is (and the multigenerational epic) let's get something starting from a new basis.

    >Be monk
    >Work in scriptorium all day erry day
    >Making illuminated manuscript
    >Entire monastery is devoted to this
    >Cover is made of the little gold and jewels we can afford
    >Finish work after 10 years
    >Amazing time
    >Go on voyage to bring it to Rome
    >Attack by Vikings
    >Take book
    >Take me as thrall
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:53 No.18859236


    >I turn to face him, nodding soberly. I thank him for taking care of me, and tell him that I left plenty of payment inside.
    >He is silent for several seconds.
    >"...Take me with you."
    >I'm taken aback at this, and immediately begin to tell him why I can't do that
    >After an hour or so, he eventually admits that he would only slow me down.
    >"I don't know what you have ahead of you...but once you've finished..." He pauses awkwardly, before saying firmly, "I'll be here waiting."
    >I merely nod, leaving him and the village behind.
    >Several weeks pass as I make my way to the capital.
    >The Queen and her Lich Master are waiting, no doubt.
    >I see the walls looming on the horizon, and know that this may be my last battle
    >Take this last moment to reflect, and steel myself in preparation.
    >A military stands between me and the Lich, but I'm stronger than they are. Even when they find an opening, my father's armor deflects their attacks away harmlessly.
    >Eventually, I make it to the throne room.
    >The Queen is there, and the 'bumbling mage' of a Lich.
    >There is no betrayal to suffer, not this time
    >The battle is fierce. My body is pushed to its limits, and continues to exceed them through nothing but my own willpower.
    >Suddenly, a piece of steel flashes across my face, slicing a small wound upon my cheek.
    >My father's sword has chipped. It won't last much longer.
    >"Foolish girl. Did you think that unrefined hunk of metal could stand against the Sword of Eternal Endings?"
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:53 No.18859239
    I concur, I will work on something as well.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:54 No.18859253
    Errr, needs more context
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)16:59 No.18859323
    Change that to 'New Rome' and 'mutants' and you've got the first section of A Canticle for Liebowitz.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:05 No.18859401
    > Be a proud Macedonian, serving under Alexander-- have no family of my own and I am in this for adventure
    > Go to the ends of the world, fighting in one of the best infantry units in the world
    > Alexander recognizes the time I downed a chariot, before a battle against these Indians and their strange creatures
    > Assist Alexander in taking down one of these freaking things.
    > Army can go no further, wants to go home, Alexander doesn't and neither do I.
    > After steadfast loyalty Alexander awards us land.
    > Alexander himself asks where it is I want to settle.
    > "Alexandria the furthest"
    > Go to my new home, with a few other settlers. Set up a new village, raise horses.
    > People approach that we have never seen
    > A few weeks later, they send a guy to study our language
    > We learn about them, they want to trade with us wine and the alfalfa that makes our horses strong they show us new ways to forge steel and give us silk
    > Why the hell not?
    > This goes on for a while, meet local fall in love.
    > New leaders come, ask for our unique steel and silk. Trade with them
    > And thus the silk road, was born.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:05 No.18859407

    >I stumble backwards, dropping to one knee as the full weight of my exhaustion hits me.
    >The Lich continues to taunt me, insulting me for bringing inferior weapons to challenge him.
    >I stumble to my feet again, staring him down.
    >The Queen, the thrall of this powerful Lich, raises her sword again to strike me down.
    >I raise my father's sword again, taking a deep breath.
    >We both charge, meeting in the center of the throne room.
    >A suicidal maneuver allows me to strike a clean blow, but the Sword of Eternal Endings is given a clean opening to strike at my armor.
    >In one instant, both swords shatter to pieces, and the Queen and I are thrown aside by the destruction of her magical weapon.
    >My armor is destroyed. Bits of the metal pierce my skin, and I cannot move.
    >My vision grows dark, but I can still hear...something
    >I focus my mind, straining. I can hear the Lich cursing my name, and that of the Queen, and the Sword, and my Father.
    >His thralls' weapon, an unbreakable sword of myth. The perfect phylactery, lay destroyed, and his own life was closing on him rapidly.
    >I'm not sure if I did or not, but I like to think I managed to smile before it all ended
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 04/25/12(Wed)17:06 No.18859416
    Dude was just, essentially, enslaved by vikings. That's all the context you need.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:08 No.18859463

    Was meant as a sort of 'well, fuck'.


    >Taken aboard the Viking's longship
    >Barely understand their barbarous tongue
    >Sight of the book calms me slightly
    >Finally get to their home
    >Grab the pages
    >Vikings just laugh
    >Guy who grabbed me starts talking with their leader
    >Gives up some of their treasure for me
    >Grabs me and frogmarches me to his homestead
    >Thank god, one of his other thralls speaks Latin
    >Start learning barbarous tongue
    >Start learning what is expected of thrall
    >Fitted with an iron collar
    >Running now would be foolish
    >Take opportunity to start teaching my owner about religion.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:09 No.18859469
         File: 1335388144.jpg-(58 KB, 549x332, words.jpg)
    58 KB
    >medieval peasant
    >Local lord goes to war, forced conscription on every man that's able to serve in the army
    >Conscript every able-bodies man
    >Conscript every able-bodies man
    >Finally, after 3 years, return home
    >be at war for 3 years

    Gentlemen, we better stop OP before he commits a felony more serious than buffoonery.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:10 No.18859481
         File: 1335388206.jpg-(23 KB, 320x240, 1308226642597.jpg)
    23 KB
    Bump for conclusion...
    >> ClericMan 04/25/12(Wed)17:12 No.18859508
    you cant die here, theres someone waiting for you
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:17 No.18859582
    bumping to keep alive
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:19 No.18859599

    >Be a dark-haired, gangly-limbed baker in a small village
    >Always dream of going on adventures
    >One day, while venturing away from town (something reckless, but I do it for the sense that I'm a real adventurer), I see a figure beside the old Tower
    >I approach cautiously, and realize the form is that of a girl my age.
    >She wears a wondrous suit of armor, and I can see her sword on the ground beside her.
    >Being a good-hearted fellow, I decide to bring her back to my village to recover from whatever did this to her.
    >She's heavier than anything I've lifted before, but I struggle through it, carrying her on my back and back to the village.
    >Days pass, and she doesn't awaken.
    >Every morning and every evening, I bake fresh bread, so she has a warm meal to wake up to.
    >Several days pass before she awakes, and she only stays a week after.
    >I can see in her eyes that she intends to leave soon.
    >Perhaps it's time for me to set aside this life of bread and pastries, and move on to something bigger
    >I confront her when she tries to sneak away, telling her to bring me along.
    >She shoots me down, repeatedly. I finally give in, and tell her I won't get in her way.
    >The next morning, I gather my things.
    >I can't travel with her, but I still have to help. What if she's injured again? I need to be there to help her.
    >I manage to track her movements all the way to the capital.

    Field too long...this one will be two medium-sized parts
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:19 No.18859605

    >The scene is unbelievable. There are so many people injured, unconscious, or dead. It shakes my resolve to see it, but the thought that she might be there among them, crying for help, forces me to continue forward.
    >The peasantry and non-combatants are all in hiding, and I feel their eyes on me as I follow the path of bodies, my eyes keen for the sight of her shining armor.
    >I arrive at the palace itself. In normal circumstances, I'd never be so brash as to enter it like this. At a time like this, I DEFINITELY shouldn't do so....but I enter anyway.
    >There are fewer bodies here, and I feel a knot start to tighten in my stomache.
    >If she had fallen here, that would be one thing. But to travel this whole way, and find no trace of her? The thought tears me apart.
    >I stand in front of the door to the throne room
    >Truly, the height of foolishness. A peasant baker, walking among hordes of fallen warriors, entering the throne room.
    >There is broken metal all across the floor, and a pile of scorched bones setting in the center of the room.
    >I look around, seeing two figures, each at opposite ends of the room.
    >One is clearly a former undead, though the hair is still rooted stubbornly to her head. The fine golden locks frame what may have once been a beautiful face.
    >I approach the other figure, crumbled into a heap.
    >My heart races as I see the firey red hair of the Lady Adventurer.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:21 No.18859624
         File: 1335388875.png-(197 KB, 1024x768, 1327897765537.png)
    197 KB
    Don't leave me like this.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:24 No.18859667

    Actually, it's a more recent book that's providing my original inspiration for this, but I'm not following that exactly.

    The idea of monks being waylaid by robbers is based on the fact that monks were often waylaid by robbers. Most monks actually learned a few weapons to start combating this.

    >Get to a point where I am trusted
    >Owner hasn't converted yet
    >Has to go off to a market
    >Leaves me, the half-wit thrall, the guy who speaks latin and his wife
    >The hour he's gone in come two big guys with weapons
    >Start trying to seduce his wife
    >Turn mean when she says no
    >One pulls a sword
    >Half-wit throws himself on sword-puller
    >Is killed
    >Wife runs, I grab staff and try to hold them off
    >Am wounded
    >Wife and other thrall come back with hunting hounds
    >Kill one of the roughs
    >Other is held at swordpoint
    >Says he has message from King
    >King is increasing taxes
    >Requires all subjects to come in a month
    >Walks off swearing revenge
    >Send other thrall to catch master
    >Two days of worry
    >Bury half-wit and guy we killed
    >Commend their souls to god
    >Third day, master returns
    >Pissed off
    >Also worried
    >Man we killed is king's karl
    >Killed in self-defense
    >Still a worry
    >Decides to take me to the call
    >Also trains me to make sure I can fight well enough to defend self
    >About ready to have kittens.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 04/25/12(Wed)17:24 No.18859668
         File: 1335389049.jpg-(150 KB, 700x800, Far Eastern.jpg)
    150 KB
    >Be the son of Al-Hassid, a merchant of the City of the Sun.
    >The Western Kingdoms are again invading the Holy Land at the bequest of their "Pope"
    >Plead with my father to go to the defence of the Holy Land with Sal-Hadeen's armies.
    >He says no, tells me how I am his only son, and must some day inherit his wealth, and that I should not waste my life over vainglory.
    >I argue with him, I say things that no son should say. And I leave. I runaway, and join Sal-Hadeen's army.
    >Not as a warrior, or calvaryman as I had hoped, in shining armor, but as a lowly footsoldier. A dented shield, some dull mail and a spear are my allotment.
    >We arrive outside of the Holy City of Heruesalem. The Westerner's have claimed it as their own and set up defences. It falls to us in the ranks to take it back.
    >My unit, along with many others are tasked with scaling the walls and destroying the gates.
    >They launch volley after volley of arrows, so many that you would think of a great flock of birds darkening the sky.
    >Our seige weaponry and theirs trade shots, crushing men, stone and wood alike.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 04/25/12(Wed)17:25 No.18859684
         File: 1335389118.png-(968 KB, 580x1000, Crusader.png)
    968 KB
    >Finally, after many deaths, we make it to the walls. I grip my spear, clambering up the ladder. At the top, many westerners wait, in dire combat with my brothers in arms.
    >I climb over the wall, and soon I am fighting for my life. I am hard pressed to use my spear, having to block sword stroke and shield bash from my opponent. Their armor is bloody, but underneath I can see the shine of gold and silver decorations...
    >I fight all the harder against my opponent, eventually thrusting my spear past their shield.
    >He drop his shield and sword to grasp at the haft of the spear sticking out of the armor
    >... suddenly, all I can see is his expression. Fear. Scared and alone, with a stranger standing a few feet away and friends dying all around.
    >As I look around, I see that I am the last of my brothers in arms on the wall. The first assault has failed and I am alone.
    >I drop my spear. I hadn't managed to get it through their armor, despite my best attempts.
    >All I can do is look at this wanton death, and destruction and the wasted lives...
    >I slump against the wall, head in hands. My father was right.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:27 No.18859707
         File: 1335389272.png-(303 KB, 457x506, 1327971158245.png)
    303 KB
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 04/25/12(Wed)17:29 No.18859737
    >About ready to have kittens
    But they're so cute and fluffy, what's there to worry about?
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:29 No.18859738
         File: 1335389385.jpg-(29 KB, 300x300, mfw21stcsm.jpg)
    29 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:32 No.18859780

    >I'm tired of fighting.
    >My father, a man so devoted to an ideal woman that he paid no mind to my mother or I
    >My mother, who gave her heart to a man that would never return her sentiments...
    >And me, a stupid girl with a complex, and a nature tailor-made for getting herself killed...
    >I'm tired of fighting...
    >There was a mystic once. He met a young girl and her fiance in a small town at the edge of the kingdom. He saw the future play out before him, he said, and this future was one of heroics, adventure, and glory.
    >Many years later, another young one crossed his path. The last one had fallen prematurely, but this one...she was already equipped for the mission. Why was she wasting her time fighting simple monsters in dungeons?
    >But I wasn't wasting time. Not once. I was running headlong to this conclusion. The end of my adventures.
    >To be honest, it wasn't a bad run...I can die satisfied...



    >I feel a slow, steady rising and falling. My breath? Certainly not...I'm not even positive I'm still capable of such faculties.
    >And yet, it continues.
    >Every few seconds, a heavy lurch shakes me, slowly bringing me to full consciousness.
    >I can't move, I can hardly breathe, and something is carrying me to god knows where...
    >I manage to open my eyes, and the bright sunlight assaults my vision, forcing me to jam them shut again
    >I try to groan at the feeling, but my body won't waste any effort on something like that.
    >I don't try opening my eyes again. I'm too tired for that. Best to sleep, for now...
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:32 No.18859781
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:36 No.18859834
    Someone be ready to screencap this story when it's done!
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:39 No.18859887
         File: 1335389957.png-(152 KB, 258x314, 86.png)
    152 KB

    >Finally we begin travelling
    >Come to the kingsmoot
    >I have never seen so many people in one place before
    >Our case will go before king in 3 days
    >Meet 'Scop', a former monk
    >Was also taken thrall
    >Lost his faith
    >Now sings songs for them
    >Meet up with the other guys who helped take me captive
    >Master is friends with them
    >I am tasked with getting ale for them
    >Give blessing over the ale
    >They see me as some kind of sorceror
    >Tell them I am just a scribe
    >Sent to their pagan priest
    >He's actually fairly educated
    >I teach him the latin alphabet, he teaches me their alphabet
    >All angular, designed for inscription on metal/stone
    >Show him how to make a quill and some simple ink
    >Pagan priest likes me
    >Start talking religion
    >Bizarre similarities
    >However, their gods sacrificed for themselves
    >Mine sacrificed for all
    >Go back to group, teach them about the one true god
    >Some surprising interest
    >3 days pass
    >Go before king
    >Shitting bricks
    >King's huskarl tells wildly inaccurate story
    >Tell the truth
    >Priest casts carved bones to find truth
    >Winks at me under robe
    >I am telling truth
    >King still lost huskarl, master only lost thrall
    >King will forgive the blood price if he keeps me
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:44 No.18859963
    Well, when I come back from work, if this thread is still up(it likely will be) and nobody else has done it, then I'll screencap it.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:44 No.18859965
    >not having any of the 4chan extensions.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:48 No.18860040

    >I don't know how long it's been, but when I wake again, I'm not moving anymore.
    >I feel something pressing against my hair, but pay it no mind...it feels nice, actually. It reminds me of how my mother used to stroke my head when I was young.
    >I manage to sigh in contentment.
    >In response, the stroking stops suddenly.
    >I open my eyes, searching for whatever caused the end of the first comfort I've had in many years.
    >I'm greeted by the shocked, sleepless face of the dark haired, gangly limbed baker. He stares down into my eyes, and the flood of emotions is visible in every line of his tired face.
    >I open my mouth, trying to urge him to continue stroking my hair "P..ple....ease...kee.....p"
    >My voice hurts, my body hurts, everything hurts. Please, please, please, just give me one positive thing to hold on to.
    >Luckily, he seems to understand, and continues to stroke my hair.
    >He doesn't stop, even when I fall asleep.
    >Even when I wake up, he's still there, stroking my hair as I asked him to.

    >I don't know how long we've been traveling, but finally, we stop.
    >He lays me down in the same bed I recovered in when last we met.
    >For the next month, he cares for me, feeding me soup, stroking my hair, and making sure I'm recovering properly.
    >Soon, I've recovered enough to walk, talk, and eat by myself
    >My strength may never be what it once was
    >I have no armor, no sword, and no adventures left.
    >But I've got the dark-haired, gangly-limbed baker boy.
    >And unlike my father, I've come to realize that I'd never be content with anything else
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:50 No.18860061
    Good end?
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:50 No.18860066
    There is no picture
    For that story.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:51 No.18860075

    tl;dr, the blacksmith missing out on the blonde bitch and marrying the baker's daughter is the best end, like we've been saying the whole time
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:52 No.18860096
         File: 1335390757.jpg-(72 KB, 768x553, MANUL.jpg)
    72 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:53 No.18860110
         File: 1335390800.jpg-(24 KB, 225x164, 1317571793119.jpg)
    24 KB
    My feels. Have them!
    >> Braith117 !!p+mQRoefJzS 04/25/12(Wed)17:54 No.18860126
         File: 1335390850.jpg-(182 KB, 795x446, 1326435726502.jpg)
    182 KB
    1000 internets to you, good sir.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:54 No.18860130
    best end.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:54 No.18860137
         File: 1335390887.jpg-(302 KB, 462x369, 1330296606400.jpg)
    302 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:55 No.18860140
    >Be the son of a slightly gangly dark haired baker and a retired red head adventurer
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:55 No.18860141
         File: 1335390905.jpg-(22 KB, 640x480, 1317205161183.jpg)
    22 KB
    I'm actually choking up right now...
    Eagerly awaiting screencap.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:55 No.18860146
         File: 1335390913.jpg-(157 KB, 696x750, hnnngh.jpg)
    157 KB
    Best end.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:57 No.18860178
         File: 1335391062.gif-(498 KB, 262x200, 1326660304701.gif)
    498 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:58 No.18860196
         File: 1335391130.jpg-(117 KB, 576x711, fuck yeah1.jpg)
    117 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)17:59 No.18860209

    As the guy doing the monk story...

    You rock, dude.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:03 No.18860274
         File: 1335391437.jpg-(35 KB, 344x342, happy-cuteness-overload.jpg)
    35 KB

    >captcha: has emmile

    Yes captcha, it has emmile. It has all the emmile.
    >> Jarboot !!j4xjG8Gxyo4 04/25/12(Wed)18:06 No.18860313
    No reaction image can describe that prose.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:06 No.18860317
    >Blacksmith's son, strong of body but lacking in education
    >Foundling, never knew my real parents
    >Father was friends with a wizard, arranged for a scrying
    >Prophesied to become the greatest warrior and conqueror to ever live
    >Also prophesied to bring an age of darkness to the lands, sowing chaos in my wake
    >Doomed to bring horror and death to all living souls
    >Kept completely secret for 20 years
    >Wizard dies, dividing up the estate reveals he wrote the prophecy down
    >Village chases me from town, all of my friends screaming hate at me
    >Father tries to protect me, beaten to death instead
    >Betrothed douses me with lantern oil and lights me on fire
    >Villagers toss me off cliff into river
    >Puts out fire at least
    >Wash up on shore many miles away knowing my death is near
    >Suddenly feel a presence the black out
    >Wake up two weeks later in an isolated, windowless, frigid castle high in the mountains
    >Hurt everywhere, flesh healed but still scarred horribly
    >Beautiful pale raven-haired sorceress enters room
    >Tells me she saw me and saved me during one of her travels
    >Thank her but tell her of my plight and how I am probably better off dead
    >Doesn't seem to mind for some reason
    >Says I can stay as long as I like, it's lonely in the mountains
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:07 No.18860331
    >Months later fully healed and know the castle fairly well
    >Most of the servants are quiet but don't think much of it
    >Life of luxury compared to blacksmithing
    >Never leave castle but never really need to
    >Direct sunlight hurts my burned skin anyway
    >Talk with the sorceress often, share meals and conversation
    >Not that many people other than servants in the castle, seems she really is lonely
    >Begins teaching me some basics of magic, reading, and mathematics
    >Meet captain of the guard who teaches me swordsmanship
    >Take to it amazingly well and quickly outmatch everyone else
    >Make friends with some of the sorceress's relatives living there too
    >Being nobility, they teach me battle strategy and we have fun with war games on paper
    >Soon can best anyone in the castle no matter the handicap
    >Time passes and study more with sorceress and captain
    >Eventually learn history and tales of conquering kings
    >Interested but still brings up bad memories, slip into depression
    >Sorceress tells me not to worry and just do what I want
    >Together with captain of the guard she throws parties and takes me on moonlit rides to cheer me up
    >Slowly fall in love with her and become best friends with captain
    >A year after being saved tell her my feelings
    >She is taken aback and runs from the room
    >Give chase into her private chambers
    >Coffin and bottles of blood everywhere
    >Castle full of vampires and undead servants
    >She's crying saying how she never meant to trick me
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:09 No.18860346
    >Don't give a single fuck
    >Kiss vampire queen passionately
    >She reciprocates and we share the night together
    >Next dusk ask for her hand in marriage
    >She joyfully accepts and announces events to her family of other vampires
    >Bride to be spends more and more time in the depths of the castle as wedding approaches
    >Captain of the guard assures me it's fine and normal, asks me what I am giving her
    >Run to the library and find out about traditional wedding gifts
    >Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck
    >Suddenly idea!
    >Find a specific magical tome in the library
    >Run to find captain of the guard
    >Eventually day of the wedding
    >Everything is wonderful, exchange vows and couldn't be happier
    >Bride is radiant and happily presents me with my gift
    >Black suit of invulnerable armor to protect my sensitive skin
    >Made from her own blood, will keep me alive undamaged and immortal as long as she lives
    >Smile and announce my gift
    >Captain of the guard opens ballroom door and dozens of skeletons stride in carrying banners
    >One for each of the undead legions I've raised
    >"My gift to you, my love, is to make sure you are never lonely again. To you I shall give you the world itself."
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:09 No.18860351
    I love this one.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:10 No.18860363
    >Be a commoner
    >Served a few times in the King's army. Lost a bunch of friends, saw more then most normal people should have. Came back with no holes and all four limbs, which is more than most.
    >Now a middle aged man, has a wife and 5 kids
    >Lost one to the plague, but that's why he had the fifth one
    >Still see that sparkle in your wife's eyes, and still put it to her when you can
    >Never wanted much, just fields to tend to and a loving family. Always works, rain or shine. His crops are his magnum opus, and hopes one of his sons will continue his work at his level
    >Has happiness. Never really enough food on the table, but that's fine as long as the kids eat and the wife is happy
    >One day a passerby calls for aid, is hit with an arrow
    >Accept him in, help patch wounds and feed him his share of dinner. Guy's a cleric, took a potshot from a bandit. Seems alright
    >Next day, time to tend to the crops. Cleric guy needs one day but can make it to the castle for further aid by mid-day
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 04/25/12(Wed)18:11 No.18860372
    I love how prophecy always makes itself happen. Mostly because of idiot superstition.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:12 No.18860391

    It's me again. Just wanted to thank you guys for making this thread such a blast to write that story in. You're all truly elegen/tg/ents

    I'm gonna start screencapping the thread myself, but mine's gonna have all the reactions from you guys as well as the story. Do you want me to post it when it's done? Is someone already screencapping it normally?
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:13 No.18860392
    >Hear screams at the farmhouse, go running
    >'Cleric' was a werewolf, just killed your family
    >All of them. Every person in that house is dead or dying. Blood is dribbling from the walls, candelabras, everything. See your youngest daughter pass out from exsanguination, arm clenched in that wolf bastard's maw
    >He's laughing at me, gulping down a bite of my family and walking towards me
    >Fucking laughing at me
    >You were a fucking Halberdier, taught some of your regiment how to properly use it in battle. They got damn good at it, too
    >Show this furry fucker what proper strokes, parries and form are, drawing him outside where you need the room. Your family's bodies will be buried correctly, and you won't be a wolf's meal this day
    >Some time later he dies from massive halberd to the face
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:13 No.18860394
    Do it. Screencap it, with the replies. I'll be waiting.
    >> Braith117 !!p+mQRoefJzS 04/25/12(Wed)18:13 No.18860395
    >>To you I shall give you the world itself
    I'm so stealing this
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:14 No.18860405
    >It hits you
    >Everything in the past fifteen years was for naught. They're all dead, your family, their bodies desecrated and devoured
    >You bury them as you should, using what gold you had for matching plots overlooking the farm you made in a corner of the cemetery reserved for men above your station
    >Things quiet down, even the passing clucking of tongues decrying your misfortune
    >Can't stand living at that farm anymore
    >Constantly reminded of them. The butter churn, that little rebecca could never really master
    >Sharpening tools that Justin used and was so damn proud about using on your halberd. It knocked the bevel out of whack something fierce, but you were proud of him regardless
    >The bed where you loved your wife, and made all those children that you loved dearly
    >It's all for nothing
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 04/25/12(Wed)18:15 No.18860414
    It's a good line.

    Ah, so that's where it was going.

    Twas a fine read, sir.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:15 No.18860421
    >One night it's too much, and you don your weathered and beaten armor saved from the war. Halberd in tow
    >Burn the fucking barn down before you, that their memories be kept for you and you alone
    >Turn around and walk the path before you, swearing to never stop fighting those damn werekin, that someone not share your misfortune ever again

    And that's the origin story of my lv 5 character. Didn't go as darkandedgy as it seems, but I put some effort into it.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:15 No.18860424

    Seconding >>18860394
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:16 No.18860430

    If I'm feeling ambitious, I might add the pictures that one fellow posted. The story was distinctly picture-less.

    If someone wants to post pictures I could use for the other characters, that'd be cool
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:16 No.18860432
    Damn it. I fixed all the other typos but left that one in.

    "To you I shall give the world itself."
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:17 No.18860448
    Also, just wanted to say you wrote such a beautiful story right there, anon.

    Thank you.
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 04/25/12(Wed)18:18 No.18860461
    The "typo" still works, with some punctuation.
    "To you, I shall give you the world itself."
    So there's a pause, and perhaps some emphasis.
    >> gier izuru 04/25/12(Wed)18:21 No.18860501
         File: 1335392483.gif-(487 KB, 500x282, 1332708662236.gif)
    487 KB
    >join party already in progress(lvl 7s)
    >play bard that joins group of mercs
    >become face of party(pick up jobs, get info, ect)
    >a year later (lvl 15)
    >evil wizard creates univers to breed new monsters
    >go throght with party
    >kill wizard
    >run back to portal to our dimension
    >it will close soon
    >"large wave of monsters block your path"
    >hand mage sitar
    >run of in opisite dirrection singing "i can't smile without you"
    >party excapes and i'm beaten and tortured for whats left of my chars existance
    >world emplodes because wizards magic no longer there
    i became a hero
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:26 No.18860557
         File: 1335392768.jpg-(545 KB, 1105x1600, img5.imagetwist.com-i-00882_7m(...).jpg)
    545 KB
    back on topic
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:30 No.18860613
         File: 1335393054.jpg-(32 KB, 500x333, 25.media.tumblr.com_tumblr_l9w(...).jpg)
    32 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:31 No.18860626

    Bumping while I continue working on the screencap. Don't want this to die
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:32 No.18860635
    OK, I was having a massive shit, sending my mind to wander while the deed was being done. And I thought I should try my hand at this.

    >Be a blacksmith's apprentice
    >Be a good smith, not the best, but who needs the God's favor when you have your own inner steel?
    >Craft blades, shields, maces, plate mail and my personal favorite, warhammers.
    >They were the easiest to make, just a square of metal and a spike. Not sharpening or tempering needed.
    >Warhammers become my specialty, as armour gets better, more people need my trademark weapon
    >Become best in town for special spike design, boast that it could pierce a dragon's hide in one blow
    >One day a far-seer comes to town, babling on about prophecies
    >I'm not a fan, the only prophets I need are the ones in the Lord's book
    >Never the less he stops by, wanting a short sword to defend himself on the road ahead
    >He has no money, aswell as no gold or jewels.
    >He offers to give me a prophecy for my work
    >Accept, I want to prove him wrong
    >I'm to forge the blade that stops a great evil
    >It's the third time he's said this now.
    >Once to the baker
    >Once to the wizard
    >And now to me
    >How the fuck is the baker going to make a weapon?
    >I give him his sword and send him on, he gives me a knowing wink like he let me in on some great secret
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:33 No.18860643
         File: 1335393224.jpg-(104 KB, 681x1024, p2-2.xhamster.com-000-008-800_(...).jpg)
    104 KB
    good heavens
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:33 No.18860645
    Aaaaand... archived!
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:35 No.18860664

    Nose piercing = tramp,

    would not fuck
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:36 No.18860681
    > be some fighter, lying in a snowy forest
    > wounded
    > besides me, corpses and more corpses of some useless crusade proposed by the pope
    > i can't move my legs, or most of my body
    > i know i'll die soon, as my blood is going out of my body
    > look at the sides, seeing old friends, rivals and other peasants
    > realize, just know, how much he hates the church, and how bullshit it is
    > also realizes that he will die alone, because he knows his bride, a nor ugly nor pretty good woman, is miles, miles distant from him
    > and, because of some Chosen One legend, he also knows he will die as an anonymous, and be forgotten, forever
    > sun starts going out
    > hear wolves
    > sigh, close the eyes, try to pet his best friend hair, like he used to, in their plays, because he knew he hated that
    Such a life as a peasant.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:37 No.18860692
         File: 1335393470.jpg-(48 KB, 224x257, Even now there is hope for man.jpg)
    48 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:41 No.18860722

    got all the parts and reactions saved. Just need to make them one big picture and it'll be ready
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:43 No.18860742
    >A few years have passed, still no great evil, just a few raids by bandits
    >They're quickly felled by the guards, only managing to kill a few cows
    >Manhood comes and I start to feel lust towards the baker's daughter
    >I shall not describe her hair colour or physic
    >We are married with his blessing
    >I need to increase weapons production to provide for my new wife
    >My skill has increased evermore and I've completely stopped producing sword and now focus only on my hammers and shields
    >Try my hand at chainmail
    >It's alright, it's cheap enough for the regular folks to buy it
    >My wife is now with child, I am overjoyed that I'll have someone to carry on my life's works when I'm old and arthritic
    >The local Lord lost his last war because of the enemy's superior armour, his men couldn't break through
    >This is my chance for the big time!
    >I present my wares to him, he gets a man to test it on his finest breast plate
    >Right through like fucking butter
    >I'm presented with a contract
    >Less time with heavily pregnant wife, more money
    >Child is born in late October, my daughter is named Elise
    >She is a fine child, I can tell she'll be a grand smith, she has that look in her eyes
    >Deliver order to Local Lord, he goes off to get revenge for his loss
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:43 No.18860748
         File: 1335393809.jpg-(87 KB, 469x428, trollface.jpg)
    87 KB
    >>Be baker
    >>Drunk wizard tells me I must forge a weapon to defeat a great evil
    >>Challenge accepted
    >>Intentionally mis-make it so that it's much more solid than any usual loaf
    >>Bake an oversized loaf of bread
    >>Over-bake it till it's hard
    >>Coat it in a mixture of oils, waxes and herbs that essentially become a resin coating when baked
    >>Re-bake it again and again until it's essentially a solid hunk of rock
    >>Have the local hedge-witch 'curse' it to weigh a dozen times what it should
    >>Hand it to wizard, tell him it's a magic club glamered to look like an innocent loaf of bread
    >>He buys my load of shit
    >>Evil overlord gets his head stoved in by a dwarf wielding a loaf of bread
    >>"Dwarf bread" created in memory of the 'magic mace'
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:45 No.18860770
    >Be a farmer
    >Get conscripted into my lord's army
    >Given a board and spear
    >Enemy heavy cavalry charge
    >I cannot into combat
    >Knocked down
    >Broken bones
    >Heavy bleeding
    >Can't move
    >"Oh well..."
    >Accept my fate
    >And then some underaged kid with spiky hair, belts, a vest, chosen one powers, and a giant sword get the fucking glory.
    >Fucking everything is unfair.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:46 No.18860780
    >wolves trouble our village
    >band with several other ragtags in a tavern to enter the wolves den
    >get my leg gnawed off in the first encounter
    >crippled for life
    >one year later our king declares war on another nation
    >every man in the village is drafted except me
    >nobody came back
    >drowning in bitches all day everyday
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:46 No.18860782
    > Be a prince
    > Father is a dick, and has his nobles invade small kingdoms
    > "just for funsies"
    > One day a baron and his wizard, the only survivors of such fun
    > come in. Father gives land to wizard and higher title to baron
    > Baron says under his breath
    > "I would rather have a king that can fight his own wars"
    > Thankfully father can't hear, but the baron inspires me
    > Train hard in wizardry and combat with the sword
    > Learn the arts of the smith
    > Learn the sciences
    > Wizard teacher declares me a polymath
    > Not enough for me
    > Father declares another war
    > I join the vanguard
    > Battle is waged, and I make the difference with less loss of life
    > Continue on like this
    > One day father grows sick, and I find out he is dying
    > Father dies, become king
    > announce to kingdom my intentions not to be like my father
    > Nearby countries take that as a sign of weakness and invade
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:48 No.18860798
    And thus began the tale of Alexander the Great.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:53 No.18860856
    >>Be warlord for the glorious republic
    >>Kicking the ass of the barbarian tribes, widespread public support
    >>People start thinking I plan to invade and crown myself king
    >>An alliance forms against me, including some of my best friends and former allies
    >>I kill them all in the resulting civil war, return home and begin attempting to reform the corrupt government
    >>A conspiracy including my own adopted son stabs me to death in the Senate grounds, where violence is forbidden
    >>My will adopts my great-nephew and makes him my heir posthumously. He eventually unites and rules the republic under my name. I'm dead, but at least I'll never be forgotten!
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:55 No.18860880
    Hey now he is my hero damn it! But still.
    > No time to rally a huge army like my father
    > Just ask my nobles to get only volunteers
    > Find out one of the armies is led by some "Chosen one"
    > Find out that the "Chosen One" will unify all the kingdoms
    > Not. On. My. Watch.
    > Have pretty much an army of common men
    > One of my best people with a horse is a miller
    > Send him and some baker scout to tell me about the army amassed against us
    > Apparently they like their formations
    > Chosen one at the front
    > Tell my army that we are going to walk a different path
    > Prepare for battle
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:57 No.18860903
    > be pris-
    > be peasant
    > work hard everyday as handyman, do every kind of jobs
    > workhaholic, so he can bring a confortable life for his wife, who he cherishes so much
    > day upon day, sun to sun, he works
    > gets home
    > eat
    > stroke his dear wife's hair gently til she sleeps
    > feel happy, despite having a hard life

    > One day, have to rush home because he forgot the buffalo hide
    > enters room, wife should be sleeping, because he loves her sleeping face
    > one dude is fucking her
    > they both look at him
    > gets mad as fuck
    > the dude's a Wizard, even if he have some muscles
    > he paralizes me
    > he could just have ran, but he proceed to resume fucking my wife, in front of me
    > she doesn't say anything, out of shame, but at the same time, pleasure
    > '' P-Phoebe.. P-Pheb.. Why... I thought.. I Thought you loved...''
    > this goes for one hour
    > the effect goes off
    > this time, wizard throw me out of my own house by the window, enhanced by his magic
    > he charms and use hypnosis in a guard, so he will think i commited a grave crime
    > thrown in jail for a life time
    > spend day after day in a small cell, cold, dark, dirty, and having rats as fierce rivals when the guards throws rotten food
    > day after day, starving, some of them
    > only really wished, after some years, that he could see the sky again, or even his wife, even after what she did to him
    > he dies, one day, alone, thin, weak and sick, in a cold, dark and dity little cell, at some catacomb, in the town
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:58 No.18860912
    Like so.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:58 No.18860915

    I'm bad at this, so it's taking a while. I'm about 2/3 done with it though, so it'll be here soon
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)18:59 No.18860921
    >Guess what they did mid way though their war?
    >They stumbled upon an ancient evil, no points for guessing what form it took
    >The dragon slaughtered both armies, neither could damage it
    >I don't even give a fuck, I knew this was coming
    >I drop all projects and begin forging weapon to destroy the creature
    >Day and night I forge, ever changing my designs and different types of metal, nothing is good enough.
    >I'm getting on now, and I think it's time to let my daughter in on the business
    >We forge together, father and child, joined by blood, bound by the steel and furnace
    >My wife died in the winter from cold chest
    >I buried her in the forests
    >My child is now 17 years of age, I should be trying to marry her off now, but we need to finish
    >By the time she's 20 we finished
    >The weapon is too much for one man, maybe even two to lift
    >Call in a favor from that gangly faggot wizard to enchant my hammer
    >Those who should, can now lift it
    >Fine by me, I don't give a shit
    >I wait for an adventurer to come and claim the thing while villages around me a razed and towns are destroyed
    >I marry my daughter off to the Baker's son
    >He's an alright kid, got heart and a strong grip, I like him
    >My trade routes are gone now because of this fucking dragon
    >Fuck this shit, I contact a wizard or mage or something to send out a message to find the chosen one while I fix my child's wedding
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:02 No.18860951
    >be a peasant
    >wake up at night and hear someone shuffling through our belongings
    >grab my pitchfork and stab him in the neck
    >turns out he's the rogue of an adventuring party that just came into town recently
    >sell his armor and weapons for 50 gold
    >I am now a middle class merchant
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:02 No.18860955
    Put some blah,blah in the middle and some boring details, and you have the next Ken Follett book
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:03 No.18860973

    Make the wizard black, and post it on /sp/
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:04 No.18860996
    > Not doing this like my father
    > We ambush their army from the forest just before dawn
    > I reign fire and death from siege engines and magic
    > My best archer, A FUCKING CARPENTER shoots a poison arrow
    > Finds it's way to the heart of the pretty boy chosen one
    > Their army scatters like the sheep they are
    > I command my army to take prisoners
    > Wrangle up the enemy army
    > I let them know I don't want their kingdoms
    > I just want them to stay the hell out of mine
    > So my men don't have to die in droves anymore
    > Fucking tired of slaughter
    > Tell my army to release them.
    > They don't leave and ask if they can join my kingdom
    > Ask them what the hell is so bad with theirs
    > Tell them to go home
    > Train a regular army, only of volunteers
    > Start a magic school to teach the gifted
    > Suddenly Refugees EVERYWHERE!
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:10 No.18861086

    What happens to the chosen one boy with the golden, spiky hair and the oversized sword?
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:13 No.18861124
    > They here that my kingdom is one of hearts and minds
    > Whatever the fuck that means
    > Miller bro, now a general, comes in with Foreign Alchemist
    > Claiming of some prophecy or some shit
    > Tell him that I have no need of such superstition in my kingdom
    > I rule for the people-- not for some hokey mystic
    > Alchemist says it was some test
    > Asks to stay
    > Well an alchemist can't hurt, I only ask him to maybe help with crops
    > Alchemist smiles and nods.
    > Years pass
    > My tiny kingdom has grown in population size
    > Science and magic work hand in hand
    > And now the same prick with golden hair has gathered another army
    > Fuck this noise, I declare
    > I ride out and find his hold
    > I challenge him to single combat right there
    > I am not wasting an army on someone who believes the world is handed to them
    > Thankfully he accepts
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:13 No.18861125
    >People get the hint and come to take the hammer
    >A few of them can pick it up, usually they leave it because they only came for a laugh
    >There are people being burnt alive, they want a fucking laugh
    >I get son-in-law to kick their asses
    >I like the boy more and more every day
    >My hair is now sliver and thin
    >My bones are old and fragile
    >The son-in-law decides to kill dragon
    >Good on him, I think he can do it
    >Next day he's skipped town, leaving my daughter without a husband, and also with child
    >If I were 20 years younger I'd of dragged him back by his clinkers.
    >Daughter is broken
    >She's gone the next day
    >So's the hammer
    >My only fucking child
    >Ran off
    >With my life's ultimate work
    >To throw her life away
    >Fighting the beast
    >It's been two years
    >I've had the hammer returned to me along with a young baby
    >I've not seen my daughter since
    >I'm all alone with a child I wont see grow up, as the plague has set in, and no one's stopped the monster
    >I've wasted my life, and nothing I've done has mattered
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:21 No.18861244
    > The fighting, is not brief
    > He taunts me in combat
    > His friends stand aside
    > Courtesans swoon
    > How some fuck can talk and still fight is beyond me
    > I bring the fire taught by my teacher
    > I bring the steel forged by my people
    > It finds it's way to his heart
    > Again he taunts about something
    > Fuck it
    > I take his head with my blade
    > His body falls to the ground
    > I toss his head aside
    > I tell the nearby people if they want revenge come at me alone, I will not have more bakers, millers, or civilians slaughtered in droves to fight against my kingdom
    > The son of the "chosen one" comes at me with a blade
    > He hasn't even seen ten years
    > I stop him with what magic I have left, tell him to grow strong and come at me when he is older and able
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 04/25/12(Wed)19:22 No.18861268
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:32 No.18861382
    > Years come and go
    > My kingdom has thrived
    > I now have a wife (The miller's sister)
    > I now have a son
    > My hair has grayed a little
    > All nearby states leave my people the hell alone
    > A youth with long golden hair enters the throne room
    > He carries a giant sword
    > His fathers
    > He says he wants revenge
    > My guards rise up
    > I command them to stop
    > I get up from my throne
    > I pull out my sword
    > And the fight begins again.
    > I am slower than I used to be, but I am still strong
    > Blondie punishes it for me with the swing of his sword
    > His armor is enchanted, my spells don't pass through
    > He stabs at my heart and stops
    > I fall to the ground
    > I look up at the blonde my men jump him, slaying him quickly
    > My friend comes up and casts spells to heal me
    > I look to my son "Do not seek vengeance, do not be cruel"
    > The last thing I see before my vision goes are my friends, common men and women-- of uncommon character
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:34 No.18861415

    It's all in one picture. Just prettying it up now
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:38 No.18861494
         File: 1335397134.jpg-(49 KB, 256x329, Fablebox.jpg)
    49 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:43 No.18861554
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:44 No.18861565
    > I wake up, and that alchemist sitting next to me
    > he says our time is coming to an end
    > I ask him what the fuck he is talking about
    > "Heroes like you, there is much less war"
    > I tell him I was just trying to rule the right way
    > I tell him that I was just doing what I thought was right
    > He nods and stands up
    > His appearance changes
    > It's the fucking baron from my childhood
    > He has fucking wings
    > He pats me on the shoulder
    > He tells me that I surpassed every king he has ever seen rule this kingdom
    > He says he is death
    > He says it's my turn to go where kings and heroes go
    > I cry, not for my son or my wife, for they will be well
    > I cry for all those that died under my father and other selfish rulers, how I could not save them
    > He tells me not to cry, but my comrades in arms shall meet me
    > I go with death as friend
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 04/25/12(Wed)19:44 No.18861571
    That is a crap end. Serious downer, y'know?
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:45 No.18861582
    My File is Too large...

    5 minutes to trim it, and then it'll be up. I promise it, friends
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:48 No.18861613
    I hope this story was to your guys liking
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:49 No.18861631

    I like it.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:50 No.18861637
    Maybe there is another part to it.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:50 No.18861640
         File: 1335397831.png-(1.81 MB, 1562x2334, My Story Part 1.png)
    1.81 MB

    It's done, finally. I hope it looks alright. Commencing part 1
    >> Skyfist 04/25/12(Wed)19:50 No.18861641
    yeah, that was good
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:51 No.18861652
         File: 1335397895.png-(1.36 MB, 1733x2034, My Story Part 2.png)
    1.36 MB

    part 2
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:52 No.18861673
         File: 1335397945.png-(1.53 MB, 1848x2784, My Story Part 3.png)
    1.53 MB

    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:53 No.18861680

    You've got a double post in there, about the fourth and fifth down.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:53 No.18861690
    Thanks, I'll take care of it
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:55 No.18861719
         File: 1335398125.png-(1.85 MB, 1552x2052, My Story part 1 FIXED.png)
    1.85 MB

    How's that?
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:58 No.18861749
    >be a medival peasant
    >engaged to the most beautiful blonde in the village
    >get drafted into army
    >she promises to wait for me
    >make lots of friends, fight beside them
    >a wizard joins, dude is a total dick but looks prettier then the prince, bitches swoon and he ignores them
    >kills allies with collateral damage, give no fucks
    >gets away with it because his services are needed badly
    >yell at him for being a dick, call him a permavirgin, tell him he will die miserable and alone etc.
    >he claims that learning magic brings more happiness then a family ever could, we shout at eachother all night long
    >win war, lose all friends, heart broken
    >return home, wizard insists on coming along
    >find out that my fiancée married a ritch merchant
    >fucking devastated, country facing an economic crisis because of the wars
    >wars over, nobody wants a broken down soldier
    >can’t even feed myself
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:59 No.18861769
    >wizard offer a job as an assistant
    >well, fuck, not like I have much of a choice
    >start learning spells
    >work for him for years, dude doesn’t age a day
    >neither do I
    >keep getting deeper into magic
    >learn more spells, become real wizard
    >30 years later, meet ex fiancée, her husband left for a younger chick
    >she’s old, poor and alone, but still has some good looks if you squint
    >realize that I know enough magic to restore her youth and make her (technically) a virgin again.
    >Realize I can make all the dreams of my youth come true
    >realize that would cut into my study time
    >realize that having a family would slow down my magical research
    >wizard dude barges in
    >realize that he has been teaching me magic for the last 30 years just so he could prove that he was right in our argument
    >realize that I would do the same

    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)19:59 No.18861772
    You do know I was shitting at the time, so a crap, down ending is the only way I could of ended it.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)20:02 No.18861804
         File: 1335398579.jpg-(214 KB, 900x692, take_me_now.jpg)
    214 KB

    It is glorious.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)20:06 No.18861836
    Whelp I am glad people liked it
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)20:06 No.18861837

    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)20:17 No.18861987
    fucking amazing.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)20:35 No.18862191
    screen cap that shit
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)20:37 No.18862203
    would love a screen cap of these as well
    love a story told from the "villains " perspective (I.e. someone other than the "hero")
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)20:42 No.18862251
         File: 1335400934.jpg-(28 KB, 330x443, lol punch.jpg)
    28 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)20:45 No.18862278
    Sadly no pictures go with the story of the man who would be king, but a villain story could be in order
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)20:48 No.18862332
    We all know that the red haired girls with cheery attitudes are the best girls.

    Even IRL.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)20:48 No.18862333
    >implying the prince isn't as pure and good as driven snow
    Fuck that, the dick-ass invader is only identified as a hero because of a prophecy and looking like a generic JRPG protag. If he didn't he'd just be shitty Genghis Khan or something.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)20:50 No.18862358
         File: 1335401449.png-(106 KB, 729x1333, Vampire.png)
    106 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)20:53 No.18862393
    I am pretty sure he was talking about the guy who married the vampire, which was also pretty bad ass. I too would like a prince screen cap.
    Though as the writer of the prince stuff, I have no idea what he looked like, I just thought of a man who was doing what he believed was right.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)20:56 No.18862422
         File: 1335401760.jpg-(43 KB, 327x464, Hell_yeah_motherfucker.jpg)
    43 KB
    Jolly good tale, chap! regale us with another!
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)20:58 No.18862451
    i think it's safe to say we can't top the baker, the blacksmith and the daughter
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)21:12 No.18862630
    I guess I can write the story of the prince from the chosen one's perspective if people want.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)21:14 No.18862663
    i fucking daaaaaw'd at that story
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)21:23 No.18862810
         File: 1335403394.jpg-(137 KB, 791x694, WIZARDS_screencap.jpg)
    137 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)21:32 No.18862948
    >Be a Lemonade vendor on death world
    >Meet Inquisitor and Kaldor Draigo
    >Threaten Draigo and attempt to kill him with lemon
    >Meet Emperor in dream
    >Become Alpha Plus Psyker
    >Become Inquisitor
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)21:39 No.18863035
         File: 1335404351.jpg-(13 KB, 320x240, iseewhatyoudidtherecat.jpg)
    13 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)21:48 No.18863143
         File: 1335404885.jpg-(1.31 MB, 3144x3184, 1333402923363.jpg)
    1.31 MB
    >Be a barbarian
    >Serve under my glorious leader as we rape and pillage
    >He marries some blond woman who is said to be of the blood of dragons
    >Sworn into her service
    >My lord is killed and ressurected through witch-craft
    >My liege lady goes into pyre of my lord to burn with him
    >Suddenly Dragons
    >Ride through the wastes
    >Find abandoned city
    >Find another city
    >Burn second city to the ground
    >Sail to slavers city
    >Acquire slave army
    >Burn that city to the ground too

    Damn. Lifes great when my lords woman is a better conqueror than my lord was.
    >> Anonymous 04/25/12(Wed)23:45 No.18864849

    You wouldn't happen to have a guilded weapon and a unhealthy pre-occupation with horses, would you?


    >Peasant in Northern lands.
    >Proud Winter blood.
    >Some Loser takes goverment lands in the north.
    >Join the watchmen up north.
    >Lord teaches me to read and write.
    >Snow commander is best commander.
    >Guys about my age.
    >Wait a tik, these guys are alright.
    >See my first wri-HOLY SHIT WHERE IS THE OBSIDION!?!
    >Still waiting for the other shoe to drop with mister "I'm a grumpy southern poligimist fucker that has a shiny sword and steel balls."

    I just want to know, is black as slimming as I think it is?
    >> Anonymous 04/26/12(Thu)02:21 No.18866645
    You're missing the part where she finds the armour, i believe.

    [Return] [Top]
    Delete Post [File Only]
    Style [Yotsuba | Yotsuba B | Futaba | Burichan]