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    35 KB Zerg Quest LXXXIV Cerebrate Anon 04/29/12(Sun)21:09 No.18913997  

    Accountantbrate's corporate empire now controls approximately 35% of the UED economy, including some minor defense contract work. So far, it has managed to keep from arousing any suspicion.

    Meanwhile, the Machine Fleet has drained 75% of the Barrens. Our planet stripping squads are guarded by our Love Muffins, but we don't have any to spare, yet, to assault the UED directly.

    (Scheduling: How's Monday the 7th? If you're really lucky, I might do another one between the 4th and 6th, too. You know, to make up for screwing you out of a thread this last week. Sorry about that)
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)21:10 No.18914012
    Jesus Christ
    >> Cerebrate Anon 04/29/12(Sun)21:24 No.18914164
    Yeah. I'm going to have to brush up on how to write out the next 10 in Roman numerals. It'll be like, LXL, right?

    This is the only time in my adult life that I ever use Roman numerals.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)21:26 No.18914182
    What's our dear sister up to?
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)21:27 No.18914185
    I think you're at VIC since C is 100
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)21:28 No.18914195
    Roman Numerals do not work that way.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)21:30 No.18914214

    Is Accountantbrate making use of multiple corporate giants instead of one large one?

    Ideally he should be managing multiple industry giants, maybe even having some in 'competition' with each other to help with the deceit.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 04/29/12(Sun)21:31 No.18914229
    Right, right. This is 85. 90 will be XC (XCI, XCII, etc).

    I'm so glad we stole the decimal system from the Middle East.

    Mostly watching and advising. She halted her infestation of the UED government, because we wanted to let Accountantbrate take a crack at it.

    She periodically reminds us that we have missiles full of infestation virus ready to cover all of UED space, so both the economic ploy and our imaginary AI attack are just ridiculous wastes of time.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)21:33 No.18914253
    Isn't that 84.

    Or 50+10+10+10+(5-1).

    Really, 84 of these?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 04/29/12(Sun)21:37 No.18914294
    If you count the Spooky Zerg Quests, we'd be at 87.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)21:40 No.18914322
    Yeah! How dare you guys have this much fun!
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)21:43 No.18914346

    How much of the love muffin technology is modular?

    The researching to produce these fine vessels must have shown us some way to provide upgrade packages for our standard BCs back home.

    If we can roll out a Block upgrade program, we can increase our firepower without drawing suspicion to the fact that we are actually impersonating the AI.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)21:50 No.18914436
    Okay, It's been a while for me, so what the hell are "Love Muffins"?
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)21:53 No.18914453

    The last tender (not really, no) loving you'll ever feel
    >> Cerebrate Anon 04/29/12(Sun)21:53 No.18914460
    We used existing technology, but designed the ship from the ground up. Part of the reason it can be better than the standard ships is because it uses Cyberbrate's machine parts, and therefore doesn't need space for organics, atmospheric systems, etc.

    Also, you guys rolled a 99 on defense and a 100 on offense, which is just ridiculous.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 04/29/12(Sun)21:55 No.18914480
    (They wanted to design a capital ship for our fake AI to attack the UED with. They rolled super well, so it's a scary powerful model. For some reason, they decided they are Love Muffin-class ships. I play along because it makes my narration hi-fucking-larious)
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)22:00 No.18914517
    Speaking of some unfinished business, has that protoss commander finally polished off the leftover scraps we left for him?

    If he hasn't, hes really taking a fucking long time.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 04/29/12(Sun)22:02 No.18914537
    (The Protoss still don't have access to, or knowledge of the existence of, our heighliners. Also, I forgot. Thanks. ROLL 2D20 FOR EGO-FEEDING!)
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)22:04 No.18914550
    rolled 16, 15 = 31



    >Also bumping for Zerg Quest Regulars
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)22:07 No.18914572
    rolled 1, 6 = 7


    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)22:08 No.18914577
    Man, this instant autosage stuff is aggravating.

    What mod has such a hateboner for quests?
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)22:08 No.18914586
    Apparently I should never become a motivational speaker.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)22:10 No.18914609


    We're getting bumped to the front page normally.

    I don't think the mods have checked the auto-sage, yet.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 04/29/12(Sun)22:25 No.18914787
    We're in autosage, already?


    Well, fuck losing threads. Archival in progress.


    Felanis' fleet arrives at a world just outside UED space, called Gringoire. It is a jungle planet of no real value, which is why we've been able to set up a false Dyles base, here. The Protoss attack boldly and soundly. It's almost hard to arrange for an opening so that we can arrive to help, but we manage.

    The battle is expensive (Accountantbrate makes sure we know that), but fun. We put on a very melodramatic show of saving Felanis, then letting him pay us back (Artisanlord laughs a hearty overlord laugh when Felanis tells us that now we're even). Then we flood the area with false transmissions declaring that Dyles is on the planet, and almost comically overdone declarations by our faux Dyles of his power. Felanis takes it hook, line, and sinker, though. His fleet makes a herculean effort, finally destroys the orbiting fleet, and victoriously glasses the planet, all the while making a prolix speech about the power of the Protoss Empire.

    It's rather like watching an action holovid.

    Felanis thanks us again (!), and declares that we are fearsome warriors before departing to spread the news to the Protoss Empire of his glorious defeat of the nightmarish Dyles Entity.

    Salem Saberhagen, who we left in charge of this, really outdid itself.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)22:27 No.18914808
    Oh Felanis, you're like the little retarded kid who keeps telling the same joke over and over and everyone laughs just to make you feel happy with yourself, but on the inside they're laughing at how retarded you are.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)22:28 No.18914810


    I like this one. We infect him last.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)22:33 No.18914878

    Commission the holovid. Have artisanlord be the director and use the footage we have since we orchestrated this attack but have him insert a human contingent into the final assault as well.

    Then have one of accountantbrates' holding companies negotiate the rights to air it in UED space.

    The royalties and ticket sales alone should pay for the battle.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)22:36 No.18914930
    >videotape our battles and sell them as movies to pay for the expense
    >accountantbrate is ecstatic

    Hell, considering that most alien movies today are about humans getting their asses kicked, we could even have the UED bankroll its own destruction!
    >> Cerebrate Anon 04/29/12(Sun)22:36 No.18914936
    Well, roll yourself a d20 to see how that works out, I suppose (also, are you guys not wanting to roll for Accountantbrate or the Machine Fleet this thread?)
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)22:37 No.18914946
    rolled 4 = 4


    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)22:38 No.18914959
    rolled 7 = 7


    Kinda waiting on you for a prompt on when to roll, though.

    Making a good movie
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)22:40 No.18914986
    rolled 20 = 20

    >> Cerebrate Anon 04/29/12(Sun)22:48 No.18915087
    (You two should've let >>18914986 speak for you. Fortunately, the dice have chosen the most sensible outcome)

    The movie is a box office flop. Audiences are sore enough already that an alien race had to help them to destroy Dyles, but they are repelled by the notion that they would ever need TWO. Some reviewers liken making a spectacle of the recent war to selling beer and pretzels at a funeral. Surprisingly (or not, as the case may be), it is still considered a better film than Phantom Menace.

    (Ok, then. 4d100 for Economic Victory and Machine Fleet Boogie)
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)22:53 No.18915168
    rolled 92, 28, 70, 73 = 263


    Rolling for great victory
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)22:55 No.18915198
    rolled 12 = 12

    Sure why not.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)22:57 No.18915218
    rolled 2, 68, 10, 20 = 100

    Might help if I actually put the right dice in...
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)23:02 No.18915297

    CA, according to our diplomatic contacts with the Protoss and lil sis' spies, how is their political climate, right now?
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)23:42 No.18915750
    Er, CA, quest runs better if you post some.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 04/29/12(Sun)23:54 No.18915905
    >Roll 4d100
    >Get 12

    Accountantbrate's business acumen shines through again. While a few of its companies come under suspicion, it is all swept under the rug by expert coverups and discreet infestation. It has managed to insinuate its way into a controlling interest of approximately 50% of the UED.

    Meanwhile, our efforts to strip the Barrens of supplies continues unabated. Fully 92% of the Barrens are exactly that: barren.

    As the materials pour in, our Machine Fleet grows. We now have a healthy supply of Love Muffins free to use in any spontaneous, poorly-reasoned assaults on UED space we decide to engage in.

    Tense. For 1d20, I could see about what...
    >> Cerebrate Anon 04/29/12(Sun)23:55 No.18915914
    (Sorry. Got distracted by Futurama)
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)23:56 No.18915924
    rolled 19 = 19

    Oh well that's okay then.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/12(Sun)23:57 No.18915933

    Not really I just wanted to say that.

    All things considered: Having 50% ownership of the UED is nice, but how does that translate to strategic power? If we tried to hinder their war machine in every way (slow down production, build faulty equipment, build traps into it, exert political pressure to take out competent leaders, etc.) would we ruin them, or just throw away our money?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)00:05 No.18916019

    Polish off the remainder of the barrens.

    Then send a small fleet to 'recycle' a planet further into UED space. If there are humans on the planet, recycle them as well. They are a good source of Iron.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 04/30/12(Mon)00:06 No.18916025
    Hard to say. It depends on how we went about it. At the very least, destroying 50% of their economy would begin a horrible depression that would most likely remove them as an interstellar power for decades.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)00:09 No.18916059
    Also, serious props to accountantbrate.

    That little worm not only manages our own finances, but has co-opted half of an interstellar empire. Holy Fuck.

    Does he need a secretary-brate?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 04/30/12(Mon)00:18 No.18916138
    >Good source of Iron

    Not really. Mostly water.

    Anyway, polishing off the Barrens is just a d100 roll away, unless you roll under a 32...

    What, and bloat out its payroll costs? It scoffs at the idea (inasmuch as giant slug monsters can scoff).
    >> Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)00:23 No.18916183
    rolled 99 = 99


    >> Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)00:24 No.18916193
    >visit /tg/ rarely
    >saw zerg quest 3 or 4 ages ago
    >mfw this like a year later

    Keep up the good work OP, I guess.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 04/30/12(Mon)00:31 No.18916267
    Thanks! They're archived, if you feel like lots and lots of reading.

    >99 out of 32

    You made it...barely.

    The Barrens are finished. We have drained them of all resources, in a megaproject of ridiculous proportions.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)00:33 No.18916294
    And now we have a fleet of very, very fat zerg floating above our worlds.

    The combined resources of an entire sector of space. We could build the swarm to such levels that the other species wouldn't even register on our psi-dar.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)00:34 No.18916312

    Begin the next phase of resource collection.

    Set course for the nearest UED system to the faux AI.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)00:38 No.18916362
    Oh hey, we bumped.
    >> EnthusiasmBrate 04/30/12(Mon)00:39 No.18916384
    rolled 23, 72 = 95

    I think its time for more Accountantbrate success then. All we need to do is get it to a healthy 85% and we can call this a flawless victory against the UED.

    I cant wait to let the betrayal really sink in when the Federate leaders realize literally minutes before their executions that we orchestrated the entire downfall of the UED during and on the heels of a extermination campaign on an alien race that was wooping their asses.

    Maybe we will even get a chance to ask them what they were thinking to let a crazy race of bug bureaucrats ever get in their affairs.
    Fucking Idiots. I'm glad we robbed them blind. Yay team zerg!
    >> EnthusiasmBrate 04/30/12(Mon)00:41 No.18916395
    rolled 90, 14 = 104

    >> Cerebrate Anon 04/30/12(Mon)00:49 No.18916474
    Wait, are we hitting them with the Machine Fleet, or letting Accountantbrate do his thing?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)00:50 No.18916492

    Why choose?


    As some silly humans do their part by selling their stuff at cost, Accountantbrate can buy them up.

    The brush war will also divert any scrutiny that was on his companies.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)00:53 No.18916512
    Yes, both.

    have the machine fleet being attacking a little bit at a time. The UED will panic and ramp up wartime production, creating opening for accountantbrate to make even more acquisitions, as well as introduce equipment that will fail on our command.

    Think of it: The entire UED warfleet arrayed against us, and accountantbrate flips a switch and they all vent atmosphere.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)00:54 No.18916534

    And when all the fleets are all arrayed that way to face the AI threat...

    Infestation missiles up their other honour.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 04/30/12(Mon)01:03 No.18916633
    Hm. Well, I suppose you should roll 3d100 to get that started, then.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)01:04 No.18916644
    rolled 38, 23, 72 = 133

    Okie doke.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)01:09 No.18916698

    >> EnthusiasmBrate 04/30/12(Mon)01:09 No.18916699
    rolled 90, 63, 70 = 223

    >> Cerebrate Anon 04/30/12(Mon)01:27 No.18916887
         File: 1335763625.jpg-(50 KB, 750x600, Vespene-gas.jpg)
    50 KB
    With the mining complete, all of our Love Muffins can be brought to bear against the UED. After a pitched battle, the defensive forces over Jehan (an oceanic world famous for its expansive underwater religious complexes and home to a large Vespene refining platform, which supplies gas to four worlds) crumble before the onslaught of our Love Muffins, and the survivors retreat. We begin the extraction of the planet's resources.

    Accountantbrate makes a killing from the stock upheaval, of course, but it also manages to gain a voice in several unions affected by the attack, and inspire work stoppages in one or two of its competitors, which gains it several exclusive defense contracts. All in all, Accountantbrate estimates that it controls more than 65% of the UED's commerce and private infrastructure.

    (God, I type slow)
    >> Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)02:15 No.18917441
    I wonder how accountantbrate is pulling this off.

    I mean, he can't be doing it under one company name, that would trigger so many red flags.

    I've got this image of accountantbrate hoisting himself over a large table full of figures, names, and little figures depicting his competitors. He's moving them all around, never stopping as multiple ticker-tapes move across the room. He masterminds every purchase and sale, every corporate merger and hostile takeover. Millions of plans and schemes, blackmail and fraud, honest deals and transfers.

    And through all of it, over the endless drone of the stock watcher and the clacking of keys, accountantbrate chuckles to himself. Laughing at the simple humans and their inability to see the web he is weaving around their throats...
    >> Cerebrate Anon 04/30/12(Mon)02:20 No.18917480
    Something like that. There's a healthy amount of infestation going on in boardrooms across the Directorate, but old-fashioned bribes, blackmail, and corporate espionage can do amazing things, as well.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/12(Mon)02:46 No.18917716
    We're finally hitting the UED? Excellent.

    Throw the love muffins wholesale into them. Total war, invade everything.

    Then we collapse their economy. Fuck everything.

    Then we tell Kerrigan to pull all her strings too. Ruin their government as we ruin their private sector.

    And finally, when their forces are depleted, their money gone, their leaders dead, their people will look up to the skies, and watch as a barrage of zerg spores rain down upon them.

    Glory to the Swarm.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 04/30/12(Mon)02:51 No.18917752
    Assuming the dice like you guys, next thread.

    I'm still working on the next Big Things, so it's kind of a relief that you've been dicking around so much. Takes the pressure off.

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