[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k] [cm / hm / y] [3 / adv / an / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / hc / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / po / pol / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / x] [rs] [status / ? / @] [Settings] [Home]
Board:  
Settings   Home
4chan
/tg/ - Traditional Games


File: 1343956264879.jpg-(1.66 MB, 3584x2016, DSCF1043[1].jpg)
1.66 MB
Hey /tg/,

Let's make meatbread.
>>
File: 1343956339858.jpg-(1.68 MB, 3584x2016, DSCF1046[1].jpg)
1.68 MB
Friendbro doesn't know how to chop onions.
>>
Come one my hearts already got a murmur.
>>
File: 1343956513789.jpg-(1.66 MB, 3584x2016, DSCF1047[1].jpg)
1.66 MB
It is done.
>>
>>20154379
I have that knife!

It works pretty well.
I usually get a cooking knife for Christmas.
>>
File: 1343956646074.jpg-(1.67 MB, 3584x2016, DSCF1048[1].jpg)
1.67 MB
Beef is on the skillet.
>>
>>20154379
>What is quartering
>>
File: 1343956978803.jpg-(1.68 MB, 3584x2016, DSCF1049[1].jpg)
1.68 MB
Dumping a bunch of onions in here.
>>
>>20154432
>dat cut

Just buy a pizza, white onions don't deserve this.
>>
File: 1343957276282.jpg-(1.66 MB, 3584x2016, DSCF1051[1].jpg)
1.66 MB
Beefs + Onions are done.
>>
>>20154353
I'd rather use one large sweet onion.
And pork sausage.
>>
>>20154594
We were warned, to be fair.

>Friendbro doesn't know how to chop onions.
>>
You really just cooked the beef from the package?
>>
File: 1343957416096.jpg-(1.65 MB, 3584x2016, DSCF1052[1].jpg)
1.65 MB
Garlic. Pro chopping.
>>
File: 1343957507902.jpg-(1.66 MB, 3584x2016, DSCF1054[1].jpg)
1.66 MB
Pigflesh.
>>
please drain your meat. I can handle a lot of things, but for godsake drain your meat.
>>
Shouldn't this be on /ck/?
>>
... you mean Meatloaf?
>>
>>20154775
>Meatloaf
>Pizza crust
>>
>>20154379
Is this a chick? if not you have girly hands!
>>
>>20154775

Looking at the ingredient, it's definitely not meat loaf
>>
>>20154478
>>20154585
>>20154673
>unseasoned

>>20154720
>Fillet knife
>actually cutting

>>20154743
>Not in its own fat

Oh god, what a riot. If your pics weren't so big... you could troll /ck/ for ages, or make a glorious 2/10 wouldn't bite macro.
>>
>>20154353
>beefs
>using jalapeno cheddar
>not horseradish cheddar
Son, I am disappoint.
>>
>>20154755
Friend's response: "Oops."
>>
>>20154824
I visit /ck/ and this is honestly making me angry
>>
Meatbread is apparently orky food, ergo /tg/ related as anything on this board is. That is, tangentially.

Seriously, resize your pics.
>>
>>20154693

I don't do a lot of cooking, so I'm curious - why is this bad?

Also, that is toooo many onions op.
>>
>>20154880
Tell me, has /ck/ evolved beyond cow and processed cheese? The catalog isn't endearing.
>>
>>20154913
depend whatever mood the board is in. sometime we love real food. sometime this crap the op making. other times weeaboo take over and we have a ramen and pocky thread
>>
File: 1343958285879.jpg-(196 KB, 896x504, DSCF1055.jpg)
196 KB
Fine, resized this one. We have no idea what to do with the pizza crust.
>>
Wrap meat in it and bake?
>>
>>20154976
Burrito
>>
File: 1343958524592.jpg-(195 KB, 896x504, DSCF1056.jpg)
195 KB
Oh, right, we need a pan thing. Whatever these are called.
>>
>>20154976
I you gonna stuff the loaf, drain the meat well, add the bacon and cheese in and season well, cause you obviously didn't do it while browning. When you wrap the sucker up, remember to cut slit into the loaf less you want the thing to explode in the oven.
>>
Cover it with butter, at least.
>>
>>20155042
Sheet pan.
>>
>>20155042
grease the damn pan before putting you dough on it
>>
>>20154967

Lately it's just been endless Chik-Fil-A trolling. Irritating.
>>
File: 1343959027901.jpg-(207 KB, 896x504, DSCF1057.jpg)
207 KB
We are so good at cooking. Accidentally put cheese on the pizza crust instead of in the meat, but we found some shredded cheese in the fridge. Also we're putting olives in.
>>
Can't wait to see how this failure ends up
>>
Now, we just need to figure out how to close this.
>>
>>20155204
>Also we're putting olives in.
You forgot to mention it was done to eat healthy.
>>
File: 1343959452581.jpg-(184 KB, 896x504, DSCF1059.jpg)
184 KB
READY FOR OVEN
>>
>>20154379

>dat knifegrip

jesus christ I'm taking this to ck, holy god wat
>>
This thread is making me angry.
>>
File: 1343959712663.jpg-(188 KB, 896x504, DSCF1060.jpg)
188 KB
Happy meatbread. Herbs and shit to make it fancylike.
>>
Hahaha, good try OP

Let's show this to /ck/
>>
0/10

Would not nibble.
>>
>>20155343
it look more like the forever alone face
>>
>>20155376
Not surprising.

It knows it is an abomination.
>>
Oh god I'm dying
>>
leave the cooking to the pros @ /ck/
You are going to get salmobotushigacampacoli bro
>>
THIS FOOD IS NOT UP TO MY STANDARS. I WANTED YOU TO KNOW THIS.

GOOD?

GOOD.
>>
>>20154432
>Dem onion chunks.

Holy fuck, no.
>>
Why is this leaking into my /ck/?
>>
File: 1343960192286.jpg-(423 KB, 857x1000, 1334688953291.jpg)
423 KB
>>20155423
sorry to self police but shouldn't we be back in the kitchen? besides, it's cute how they try to cook.
>>
>>20155423
Dammit, now he will never suffer for his mistakes!

We may a well tell him 70°C is high enough to kill most microorganisms.
>>
>>20155314

I'm not a pro by any means, so I'll ask: what's the proper way to hold a knife?

For chopping, I always treat it like a lever, or one of those giant paper-slicers from grade school, but a lot faster motion and a lot shorter movements.
>>
>>20154432
>It is done.

The hell it is.
>>
File: 1343960314137.jpg-(54 KB, 389x336, 5451430338_64715fba2a.jpg)
54 KB
>>20155458
>>
>>20154720
You seriously need to learn how to mince vegetables.
>>
"The fact that you're not cleaning properly is making me sad. I mean, we just have pools of water on our cutting boards." - Friend's sister
>>
Enjoy your meatbread that taste of nothing but onion, garlic and misery OP.

Jesus christ.
>>
So is it done? I want to see the finished masterpiece.
>>
>>20155458
Cuts happen because of friction. Try it, grip the blade strongly, you won't be cut. What you saw is the curve working its magic. Move your knife over what you intend to ut.
>>
>>20155599

BEHOLD

>>20155343
>>
>>20155612
Wait.... that's the finished product?

Oh my sweet merciful fuck, do not eat that.
>>
>>20155612
THAT'S THE FINISHED PRODUCT? Holy shit. I thought that was before you put it in the oven. Don't eat that, bro. You might die.
>>
File: 1343961044637.jpg-(19 KB, 370x309, 98132752346.jpg)
19 KB
>>20155641
>>20155671

I told you man

I TOLD you about meatbread
>>
The thought of eating this makes me nauseous. Please. Don't eat that. I can't tolerate existing in the same universe as that abomination. God, it's worse than putting wasabi on your pocky.
>>
>>20155720
People do that? That's the stupidest/most weeaboo thing I've ever heard of AND I'm kind of a weeaboo.
>>
>>20155671

I'm pretty sure that's pre-oven. If it was post-oven, the outside of the dough would at least be cooked.

That being said, last time I made meat bread, the very center of the dough didn't get cooked all the way. My fat fuck friends and I still ate it, since it was fuckhuge, so the center was a very small portion of the total. I'm not sure why I went on that tangent, but like I said, the outside of the bread would be cooked it they had put it in the oven already, and it clearly is not in this picture.
>>
>>20155745

It was a purely hypothetical situation that I invented. I'll bet someone does it.
>>
>>20155771
I could do it.

But then, I occasionaly nibble on wasabi by itself. Love that shit.
>>
File: 1343961510692.jpg-(191 KB, 896x504, DSCF1061.jpg)
191 KB
Meatbread is out of the oven! Are you as excited as we are, /tg/ and /ck/?
>>
>>20155818

I would be if you didn't load that shit with barely-chopped onions.
>>
>>20155818
It looks angry.

I am not surprised at all.
>>
>>20155818
Oh thank god you baked it. We were worried for a while.
>>
>>20155833

FUUUUURY

A GREAT AND TERRIBLE FURY AT BEING ALIVE
>>
>>20155818
The onions are too big. It won't be enjoyable.
>>
>>20155818
D-daddy...Why does it...Hurt?

I c-can't see Daddy..
>>
You shall learn from this, OP. Learn and suffer, for you have created an abomination to taste buds everywhere.
>>
Why did you ruin this with these terribly onions. What the fuck why did you cut huge lumps on onion.
>>
Really, dude, it's vacation over there right? Just learn how to season shit. The basics are the same, so the only variations are like meats, legumes and salads.
>>
>>20155800

Don't get me wrong, I like my wasabi and my pocky as much as the next semi-weaboo neckbeard. I don't know if it's just me, but disgusting food/mixes are a surefire way to make me avoid an area. I lied about the pocky, by the way. Shit's too sweet.
>>
>>20155869

Oh god it's just like Jin-roh
>>
File: 1343961806234.jpg-(65 KB, 813x444, 1343961510692.jpg)
65 KB
>>
>>20155818
Enjoy your clean bathroom while you still have it.
>>
This is the best thread on /tg/ right now
>>
I can't stop laughing
>>
>huge lumps of onion and garlic
>unseasoned meat
Why, God, why?
>>
File: 1343961927506.png-(372 KB, 896x504, Why do I exist.png)
372 KB
>>20155818

Jesus fuck
>>
>>20155884

I don't like pocky or wasabi, but I love mixing my foods together. Dipping my steak in my mashed potatoes, stirring my shephard's pie into a slurry of tastebud-exhilaration, putting spaghetti onto my garlic bread to make an open-faced spaghetti sandwhich thing...
>>
>>20155916
Best thread?
or Best Bread?
>>
>>20155938
>pasta on bread
>>
File: 1343961988984.jpg-(176 KB, 896x504, DSCF1062.jpg)
176 KB
So, we didn't bake it all the way. Look at the dough. Gotta finish it up in the microwave.
>>
This thread is terrifying
>>
/ck/ is spreading love tonight.

Meanwhile in /co/... >>39388552
>>
>>20155950
>microwave
HOLY FUCKING GOD MY SIDES.
>>
>>20155950

I'm seriously dying over here

It hurts to laugh
>>
>>20155950
This thread is unreal.

Why, gods, have you cursed us so?
>>
>>20155950

Oh my christ
>>
File: 1343962072713.gif-(603 KB, 200x189, 1279161300890.gif)
603 KB
>>20155950

jesus fuck thats even worse than the raw dough holy shit
>>
File: 1343962076186.jpg-(62 KB, 787x425, 1343961510692.jpg)
62 KB
>>
Man, at least they are trying.

My cooking has involved trying canned chile for the first time and discovering you can put shredded cheese and tabasco in it.
>>
>>20155950
...
>>20155343
>22:08
>>20155818
>22:43

Now you're just trolling.
>>
>>20155980
>Costanzatriesbaking.png
>>
>>20155992
The problem is it is the most minimal effort to not fuck up the way they are doing.

>>20155996
Oh Christ I missed that.
>>
>>20155950

DO YOU ENJOY SEEING US SUFFER, OP?
>>
>>20155950
made me vomit a bit into my mouth. That hasn't happened in a long time.
>>
>>20155950
Microwave won't finish it. Maybe you should read a fucking cookbook once and a while so you learn how long to bake things to the point of done-ness.
>>
>>20156005
That's true.

Okay, tomorrow, totally gonna bake something. /ck/ will be my guide.
>>
Doesn't this look great, /tg/?
>>
>>20155950
Microwave will not work for this, you'll have to put it back in the oven.
>>
File: 1343962274988.jpg-(186 KB, 896x504, DSCF1063.jpg)
186 KB
>>20156022
No picture, sorry.
>>
>>20156027
OH MY GOD MY SAN SCORE
>>
>>20156027
IT'S LOOKING AT ME. IT'S FUCKING LOOKING AT ME.
>>
>>20156027
This... is horrid.
>>
>>20156027

I wonder if the Old Gods would eat this
>>
rolled 9 = 9

>>20156027

ROLLING FOR SAN
>>
You know, I know I should be disgusted but... I'm actually a little hungry.
>>
>>20156015
This is /tg/
We skim the book, get the gist of the rules, and then play a couple sessions to get the hang of things. Or we don't read the book at all and claim it's shit and some other book is better.
>>
>>20156027
Oddly enough, that's how your intestines are going to look in about ten minutes or so.
>>
>>20156027

IT HAS AN EYE
>>
MORE DEMON BREAD CAPTIONS
>>
>>20156027
OP, this is disgusting. Don't eat this. You didn't peel the onion, didn't cook the bread, unseasoned meat, added shitty cheese, huge chunks of garlic and onion, not even cooked properly.

Don't eat this. Mercifully kill it.
>>
File: 1343962390034.png-(255 KB, 480x640, sureissummer.png)
255 KB
Op if you eat this you probably will not die, but keep a bowl next to your fucking bed if your body decides to say fuck you and chuck it. take it from me, I'm used to sampling culinary disasters. Not that I cause any.
>>
File: 1343962455508.jpg-(59 KB, 785x427, Pain.jpg)
59 KB
>>
>>20156027
I've shat out things that looked tastier than that.

As in, literally shat out. From my anus.
>>
I need some of that chef that swears a lot
>>
Are people really this sad and elitist that they'll denigrate someone about the way they hold a knife?
>>
>>20156129
It's partially because it's dumb, and partially because improper knife handling is a good way to lose finger bits.
>>
File: 1343962675553.jpg-(65 KB, 314x236, Ep22_Rape.jpg)
65 KB
The bread is in my mind, feeding on all my innermost fears.

OP, you have made something that should never exist on this earth.
>>
File: 1343962682999.jpg-(77 KB, 896x504, Hell.jpg)
77 KB
>>
>>20156129
You're right, we should all eat terrible shit that we'll puke up from forever rather than ask someone to learn the basic standards of cooking.

Also people should just cut off their fingers, nothing wrong with that.
>>
>>20156129
Yes. Don't even bother to come to /ck/. You would probably have a breakdown when we rip you apart for the brand of mustard you like.
>>
>>20156129
"cooking/baking" gutrot and holding a knife in ways that my 3 year old niece knows better than to do is worthy of derision.

Looking down on first world kiddies who haven't cooked shit more difficult than mac n' cheese isn't really elitism - its more of a "what the fuck have you done with your life to this point that you don't know how to cook basic shit".
>>
>>20156066

You get points for technically correct roleplaying. the best kind of roleplaying.
>>
>>20156151
>They gave me the gift of life
demonbread.jpg
>I gave them the gift of food poisoning
>>
File: 1343962867202.jpg-(10 KB, 144x145, 1275020372439.jpg)
10 KB
>>20156197
>>
File: 1343962933162.jpg-(74 KB, 896x504, Sacrifice.jpg)
74 KB
>>
>>20155950
I have like, secondhand embarrassment, but instead of humiliation I need to shit real bad
>>
I demand photographic evidence of someone trying to eat this.
>>
Oh god, we need to update the 1d4chan wiki with this.
possibly have it in it's own section on the page.
>>
Oh god, this thread needs archived badly.
>>
>>20156253

Eat the demon bread, they said

It will be funny, they said
>>
File: 1343963411228.jpg-(76 KB, 896x504, Do It.jpg)
76 KB
>>
File: 1343963451980.jpg-(129 KB, 896x252, tg demon bread face.jpg)
129 KB
it's so happy! right?
>>
File: 1343963522696.jpg-(201 KB, 896x504, DSCF1064.jpg)
201 KB
IT LIVES
>>
>>20156389
Oh god, it has a tongue.
>>
File: 1343963596557.jpg-(274 KB, 824x776, 1342461924372.jpg)
274 KB
>>20156389
>>
>>20156389
I can still see the face.

This is alarmingly disturbing.
>>
File: 1343963620238.jpg-(33 KB, 600x450, 809709235.jpg)
33 KB
>>20156389

A TONGUE
>>
>>20156389
No.
No.
Noooo.

NYOOOOOOOOOH.
>>
>>20156389
Oh how lovely. It grew a second eye.
>>
>>20156389
Shoot it, SHOOT IT!
>>
>>20156367
It even has a Satanic soul patch.
>>
File: 1343963770856.jpg-(74 KB, 578x571, 1343722790919.jpg)
74 KB
>>20156389

God almighty.
>>
If I had the ingredients to hand, I'd do this shit right, blind baking and all.

Hell, I'd even get the roommate to take pictures of me doing it to prove it.

These people just suck at cooking.
>>
It is imperative you watch this, OP: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9Qzz8R_J1c
>>
File: 1343963832062.jpg-(47 KB, 640x480, 0802122007-00.jpg)
47 KB
>>20156253
>>
>>20156497

DON'T DO IT YOU FOOL
>>
>>20156497
YOU'LL FAIL YOUR FORT SAVE.

DON'T DO IT
>>
File: 1343963899593.jpg-(82 KB, 896x504, Devour.jpg)
82 KB
>>
File: 1343963904733.gif-(21 KB, 455x364, ahappyboner.gif)
21 KB
>>20156497
>>
File: 1343963928443.gif-(1.49 MB, 240x180, 1343917800170.gif)
1.49 MB
>>20156497
>>
>>20156389

IT HAS A TONGUE
>>
>>20156497

If you are trying to prove you are eating it, you must actually show it in your mouth. However I would also take that as proof that you are in fact some sort of demon sent to earth to torture man.
>>
>>20156505
Already done. The cooked parts aren't bad.

I want to make a Nurgle joke but can't think of a good one.

Anyway, we're making a second meatbread.
>>
>>20156487

http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Meatbread
>>
It's too much, too much for me
>>
Who the fuck archived this thread? Meatbread is an honored /tg/ food, and this thread seems entertaining, but I can't say it seems all that necessary to archive it. Still, personal opinion.

But whoever DID archive this is a retarded motherfucker with a sense of humor terrible enough to think it'd be hilarious to tag it 'lolmgwtfbbq' and nothing else. Just a stupid archive. Seriously, for the dignity inherent in meatbread (hah), downvote it and upload a less horribly tagged/written archival.
>>
>>20156552

Oh wow its true, fucking hell.

>>20156545

NO

STOP
>>
What a terrible fucking archive description.
>>
File: 1343964243320.gif-(10 KB, 64x64, pumpkin_3.gif)
10 KB
>>20156545
>Anyway, we're making a second meatbread.
>Anyway, we're making a second meatbread.
>Anyway, we're making a second meatbread.
>Anyway, we're making a second meatbread.
>Anyway, we're making a second meatbread.
>>
>>20156389
That's not a tongue. It's a dick.
>>
>>20156547
The only procedure I'd try is the second one, and I only have the mozzerella, which I'd have to grate myself.

Also, I'd probably chop the celery, olives, and mushrooms up so tiny they'd be better described as a paste. They probably make the thing taste great, but damnit if I want to be reminded that they're in there.
>>
Okay, explain to me what's so terrible about onions and garlic. I eat them raw in salads with just some oil, salt and sometimes vinegar, so i fail to see the issue.

I also don't think unseasoned meat is such a crime against nature, though i'd usually at least salt it.
>>
>>20156573
>>20156552

I tried to make a new one. It didn't let me. We may be stuck with "I just...like..pooped a little! In ma pants! XDD" forever.
>>
>MEATBREAD

don't you mean calzone or are you just being orky about this?
>>
>>20156633
Onion and Garlic are utterly fantastic.

It's the procedure in which they were prepared here that we have qualms with.
>>
>>20156633
Onion that big basically defeats the purpose of putting meat in there.
>>
File: 1343964517931.gif-(75 KB, 1200x1200, 1343110590829.gif)
75 KB
>>20156654

>He doesn't know about Meatbread
>>
>>20156648

It's getting downvoted already though.

Can we contact with the dude who runs the archive?
>>
>>20156654
Proper meatbread is literally a loaf of bread baked around a large amount of meat, which in the process of baking also cooks the meat completely. It is not a calzone.
>>
File: 1343964563326.jpg-(4 KB, 107x125, bravo.jpg)
4 KB
>>20156598
Do it
>>
>>20156619
>The Demon Bread's greasy dick takes your anus by surprise, tearing right through. Your mind is simultaneously fucked, and the screams of your loved ones rings loud in your ears. The greasy dick of madness breaks off, and the abomination takes your soul to be charred in the oven of chaos.
>>
>>20156633
The onions need to be cut far smaller and the garlic wasn't minced correctly.
>>
>>20156676

Not that I know of. I guess we can try and find an email address.
>>
File: 1343964790466.jpg-(29 KB, 518x421, MEETBRED.jpg)
29 KB
JESUS IT'S LOOKING AT ME...
>>
>>20156633
Your love for onions and garlic is like sex with a beautiful woman. What the fucker in this thread did is like taking that same woman, shitting down her throat, disemboweling her, slitting a hole in her bladder, and then fucking that hole as she wails in agony and bleeds out.
>>
Tonight you will dream and tomorrow you will awaken.

You will be tied to do your bed, on your back. A plate will be lying on your chest, with >>20156389 sitting on it.

Staring.

At first, you will stare back defiantly.

Then nervously, you avert your eyes from the intimidating sight. You look back. It's closer to your face.

The process continues for as long as your willpower lasts, until tears start to flow from your eyes and you beg to be left alone. The meatbread won't care. The meatbread can't care. Although it was baked with a heart, that heart is cold and rotten.

As your sobs begin to come free from your mouth, it extends the strip of bacon, the tongue of half-raw pigmeat to lap at the tears on your cheeks. Trails of saliva are left there, if saliva was composed entirely of rancid grease, its putrid scent filling your nose.

Your crying grows louder and its torment grows stronger, its distorted form comes closer until its pressed so firmly against your lips, you have no choice but to take a bite. Then another. And another. Eventually it becomes too much and the last thing you feel before you vomit and pass out is the beast shoving its vile tongue of pork down your throat.

Are you sure you want to wake up later?
>>
File: 1343965005952.gif-(858 KB, 240x228, Mwxwr.gif)
858 KB
>>20156805
>>
File: 1343965070867.gif-(19 KB, 630x592, 1263876462742.gif)
19 KB
>>20156805
>>
File: 1343965092702.gif-(499 KB, 160x130, NO GOD NO.gif)
499 KB
>>20156805
>>
File: 1343965139643.gif-(1.83 MB, 350x263, 1343272316576.gif)
1.83 MB
>>20156805
>>
OP... I hate you.
>>
>Mother comes home. "Jeff... Jeff where are you?" She sniffs the air. "Have you been cooking?" The house remains totally silent.

>She wanders into the kitchen and see's... it, staring at her. "WHY HELLO MOTHER" Two voices speak in unison as the olives swivel to match her gaze. One is that of her own beloved child, the other a hellish nightmare that sends chills shooting up her spine . "WE'RE HAVING SUCH A WONDERFUL TIME. WON'T YOU COME JOIN US!?!"

>With that, long, thick, greasy strands of bacon erupt from the between the crust and wrap around her arms, dragging her into the golden brown maw of the beast. She screams and struggles to avail, and eventually the vile creature swallows her whole between it's flaky lips, before settling upon the kitchen top once more.
>>
>>20156805

Well fortunately I don't cook demonic meatbread myself(not that I cook meatbread.) so I would never have to deal with this fate.
>>
>>20156765
>Naar's favoured form is a great globular body, like that of a bloated spider, borne by a score of stunted limbs which emerge chaotically from the underside of a sac-like abdomen. His face hangs like a parody of a wrinkled old sow's yet with an evil-smelling black hole where one could expect a snout. The upper surface of his body is covered with pouches of vile fluids that trail wisps of black smoke, and his maw is studded with hundreds of blue-stained fangs. But it is the eyes that shock you most. The Dark God has the eyes of a man.
>>
File: 1343965365683.png-(523 KB, 739x284, it's_afraid.png)
523 KB
OH GOD.

OH GOD.

OH GOD.
>>
Let this day be marked. On the Second of August, we created a new Chaos God.
>>
>>20156908
Stop. Stop this right now.
>>
>>20156496
Oh he ends up making gazpacho. Highly recommended summer dish right there. Hell make it liquid enough and it's a drink too.
>>
Well, looks like OP gave up, panic mode off.
>>
>>20156983
Just waiting on a dude to get some more pizza crust.
>>
>>20157007
YOU'RE NOT OP
YOU'RE JUST A FEAR MONGER
STOP TRYING TO SCARE ANONS


[nospoilers]please don't be op[/nospoilers]
>>
File: 1343965755960.gif-(822 KB, 300x168, nope.gif)
822 KB
>>20156805
>>20156863
>>20156903
>>
File: 1343965818149.jpg-(44 KB, 453x592, Pttxk.jpg)
44 KB
>>20157007
>>
>>20156968
I posted it more so OP could learn how to handle a fucking knife right, but that's pretty cool too.
>>
File: 1343966061114.jpg-(374 KB, 800x600, MEATBREAD2.jpg)
374 KB
Take the sole good meatbread, elegan/tg/entlemen! Cling to its memory!
>>
File: 1343966083023.jpg-(48 KB, 640x480, 0802122050-00.jpg)
48 KB
My camera battery died so we're just taking pictures with friendbro's cellphone now.

Anyway, we're cooking the remaining bacon a bit more while waiting on more dough. It turned out a bit raw last time.
>>
>>20157111
It will never look the same.
>>
>>20157117
OH REALLY?
>>
File: 1343966163255.jpg-(379 KB, 1136x2556, MEATBREAD.jpg)
379 KB
The one and only original meatbread.
>>
>>20157137
That just looks like a kolachi, which incidentally is fucking delicious.
>>
Why the fuck is this thread getting downvoted to fuck on the archive?

Are people really that tragic, that they'll neg rep a thread they haven't even read because some shithouse gave it a terrible description?
>>
>>20157165
Because some faggots are trolling the archives by archiving shit threads over and over.
>>
>>20157165
It was more because of the tags.

A search engine is only as good as the tags applied.
>>
>>20157165

We're downvoting to try and archive it with better tags. It isn't working.
>>
Guys. Guys.

What if...

What if we went the opposite route and made a chilled meatbread? Like, say, we hollow out a round bread. Spread some cheese on the inside. Fill that fucker with aspic. Then fill the aspic with meat and veggies.
>>
File: 1343966411635.gif-(202 KB, 300x200, Blarg.gif)
202 KB
>>20157117
>It turned out a bit raw last time.
You don't say.
>>
Oh god, op. My culinary education makes this abomination of meat and shame even more awful. I'd tell you the million things you could have done better but I'm not sure it would help.
>>
>>20157117
>it turned out a bit raw last time
ENJOY YOUR BOTULISM
>>
File: 1343966590624.gif-(613 KB, 120x113, 1320717717531.gif)
613 KB
>>20157215
>Aspic
>>
>>20157230
He's going to try again, maybe you should.

Also i tried rearchiving the thread to fix the description and tags, it supposedly worked, but then it disappeared from the archive.
>>
>>20157307
Nevermind, it was filtered and the tags didn't update.
>>
File: 1343966994125.gif-(2.88 MB, 240x180, f2f.gif)
2.88 MB
Why?
>>
>this thread
FUCK, OP, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE?! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU CALL SUCH HORRORS, BECAUSE IT CLEARLY ISN'T MEATBREAD.
>>
File: 1343967245420.jpg-(196 KB, 698x454, aristocrats_joke.jpg)
196 KB
>>20157404
>>
>>20157404
Behold, your new dark master:

>>20155900
Demonbread.
>>
File: 1343967420459.jpg-(62 KB, 480x640, 0802122113-00.jpg)
62 KB
>>20157404
Bow to (2/3 of) your faggot overlords.
>>
10/10 op, 10/10
you have inspired me to go troll /ck/
>>
>>20157263
Well, what else would you use to suspend what's basically a terrine?

I mean, we're talking just enough aspic to keep the fillings stuck together in a cold sammich here.

And if you want, you can use it as your vector to deliver herbs and spices, rather than cooking them into the meats.
>>
File: 1343967949986.jpg-(113 KB, 680x680, puke.jpg)
113 KB
>>20156908
>>
>>20156497
While he might be Satan's curse on the cooking world, that is one womanly friend you've got there. I'd fuck him.

I'm a dude by the way.
>>
Shouldn't meatbread be meat mixed into the actual bread?
>>
>>20157640
I don't think his asshole is going to be a place you'll want to be within five miles of for the next week or two.
>>
>>20157201

>We're downvoting to try and archive it with better tags. It isn't working.

The meatbread is so deadly it even fucks with the archive.
>>
File: 1343968190636.jpg-(46 KB, 640x480, 0802122126-00.jpg)
46 KB
So I was thinking of giving these 4 mini-meatbreads the marks of the 4 Chaos Gods, but then we just did faces instead. There's a Meatbread of Khorne, though.

Also when we were finishing cooking the bacon, smoke sort of got everywhere and we had to use fans and stuff to clear the kitchen.
>>
>>20157706
>Also when we were finishing cooking the bacon, smoke sort of got everywhere and we had to use fans and stuff to clear the kitchen.

What the actual fuck is wrong with you people?
>>
>>20157706
It's like none of you have Profession: Cooking.
>>
>Uncles estate was mostly bare when you arrived which was to be expected. His final years were ones filled with rumor which one would expect considering his house was away from town on top of that old hill that no tree would take to. Driving up this never paved road of gravel and sand you saw the few half dead bushes and dieing saplings that were scatered about and the failures that Uncle kept trying to plant. He was never a man to give up and beyond the old caped well there was nothing distinguishing on the road save up here but his one floor house looking to become a shanty from neglect. Though this was your place now, you inherited it being the his favorite nephew and you were left to figure out what to do with this remote house.
>>
>>20157706
I see a bit of finger on the corner of that shot, OP.
Learn to cook, nowait... Don't cook and learn to cameras.
>>
>>20157789
>No valueables could be found in the bedroom which had a pecular oder that was reminicant of the trash from some roast event and a stagnent tide pool. The best guess was it came from the bed itself so at least the matress would have to be thrown out so the couch would have to be the place of rest. Nothing worthwhile was hidden in ther room, not even money. How Uncle got by was always a mystory no one heard of his job when he somewhat unwelcomed showed up at family gatherings in his greasy flanel otufit and skiny yet potbelled form.

>Stranger still was how he never ate anything at them, stranger still when his kitchen and pantry were baren yet suprisingly clean given the state of it all. The only thing that was there was a queer cookbook which sat out of place leaning against the faded yellow tile wall next to the sink. You hesitated to guess what the man ate given his form and left it alone to head to town to get enough food to last the three days you gave yourself to decide the state of the house.
>>
>>20157807
>The towns people were friendly until I told them my business in their quant town. Any menion of Unles name and they were quick to gester some sign and go about their business. Gaterhing the basics of milk, bread, a few cans of food, and luncon meats I retruned to the lonely house on the hill and sat down for a meal of beans. The first spoonfull didn't taste right. While having never touched the brand before the only thought in my mind was that I was eating a bowl of lumpy ash. Tossing that out and settling on the bread was just as bad. Flaky in all the wrong ways and crunhy as if sand had been baked into it's tastless husk I threw it out and sat wondering at just how the store could stay in business.

>Giving up and trying to wash the failed meals down with water only gave me a mouth full of foul metal laced liquid. Spiting it out I wondered if I would need to see a doctor. That's when the queer cookbook caught my eye. It's cover was some kind of leather looking at it this close and a vulgar title of "Tendar vittles" was trying very hard to convey a sothern accent in it's reading. In this moment my hand reached for this tome, and opened it.
>>
>>20157822
>Rancid images of small creatures butchered and roasted in their own organs. How to properly or with the diagrams seeming to be of diabloic ritual improperly cut and drain game of all it's vital fluids. A section on using the blood in the dishes as some sort of sauce bile was rising in my throat until I saw a dish entiled Diabous Panis to which the first few lines wich shall never be reapeated caused me to close the book and throw into the trash where it belonged. Having no appetite left I retired to the couch seeing this trip as a waste and considering leaving the house for the state to claim.

>Dreams came and went. All flaovred by the danmed book, squirels on sticks with their eyes forever glaring at me as I ate them. Rabbits flayed open with their ribs used as some sort of plate below. Horrible naitous dreams came and went until I was kneeding bread flaovered with blood, even in the dream I could not be forced to entertain this idea and awoke. But I was not in the couch, I was sitting on a stool.
>>
>>20157844
>Before me laid the oven on to a timer clicked away. My hands felt dry and looking upon them I unleashed a shrike. White as death they were covered in flour, but it was unclean. Red blood as much as I wished it wasn't stood out. My foot went down to cause a crunch to come about the room. Glancing down only caused a lightness to enter my head but I did not pass out. Small bones littered the floor. Some flesh hung on them as did some skin but clearly they were freshy taken from their victims. That's when the danmable ding occurred.

>My eyes looked to the stove and in a trance my body lifted and my feet folowed. Tears streamed down my face as a foul cooked smell washed over it as my arms not of my own will pulled the door down. Inside layed the breaded crust, depresions in it looked like eyes and a redish brown line formed a cracked jeering mouth. "No" I muttered but allready my hands had found the mitts and reached in to take it out. The stench was even stronger smelling as though what laid inside was not cooked but rotted! The pan hit the table containing the putrid refuse and my hand now shaky reached for some knife.
>>
God damn, /tg/. If you keep up all this awesome shit, you're gonna short yourselves out.
>>
>>20157855
>
I beg whatever unseen force drove me I pleaded but it moved it moved to plunge the knife into this baked abomination shich bled where the blade sunk. And it screamed. The thing that was not pie nor bread screamed in the voices of injured animals and the knife crept across it until a slice fell off letting me see what was not meant to be seen. Onions barly choped, olives pretending to be eyes this I wished but no it was worse. Whatever was in there stared back, it's organs cleanched feeling the cool air, it's meaty sizling strip of meat that was it's tounge lulled out like a dog and it stayed there giving itself as a sacrifice to me.

>But I did not want it. My head moved to see a fork. The hand, now more shaky than ever reached and finaly stoped. For a second I was in contorl, I could run but before that a voice was heard. "Eat up son, i'll put meat on yer bones". My wish was granted and I ran, the Diabous Panis cried as it's purpose was wasted but I got to my vehicle and drove faster than any man should on the road. I heard the voice a voice that should no longer be heard. But that voice of my Uncle, it did not come from behind me I could almost accept that upon seeing what his spirt drove me to do.

>The voice it came from my own mouth!
>>
>>20157742
Actually, they do, they just specialized in Abominations.
>>
>>20157804
Onionchopper
>>
>>20155376
No, fuck you.
>>
Almost 30min of baking by now, in small portions...
>>
File: 1343969933334.jpg-(44 KB, 640x480, 0802122156-00.jpg)
44 KB
>>
>>20158156
Looks like you've actually got something edible.

But the sacrifice made...
>>
>>20158200

Are you kidding? It still looks vaguely malevolent.
>>
>>20158156
IT'S BROWN
>>
File: 1343970394625.jpg-(41 KB, 640x480, 0802122203-01.jpg)
41 KB
souls
>>
>>20158258
>demon bread can count to potato.jpg
>>
"There's hair in mine."
"Extra fiber."
-Meatbros
>>
File: 1343970944474.png-(202 KB, 863x431, long black haired women s(...).png)
202 KB
>mfw americans in charge of food
>>
>>20158258
oh fuck i literally feel ill and my mind genuinely feels like it's going to snap

help me /tg/ oh god
>>
>>20158402
That's bothering you, and Darklord Naar didn't?
>>
>>20158402
This demonic ritual they call cooking has claimed another to the Warp
>>
File: 1343972037840.png-(70 KB, 595x327, Cow_Phil.png)
70 KB
>>20158258
it kinda reminds me of the Phil face.
>>
>>20158620

Oh my god, it actually is.
>>
File: 1343972911477.png-(362 KB, 644x480, 1342981421063.png)
362 KB
>>
>this entire thread
NASA is wondering why the hell the mars rover just picked up video feed of my sides flying through space
>>
Thank you, OP, for reminding of the old chan adage: sometimes, the best way to win is to fail horribly.
>>
You have made a goddamn Behilit.

May God have mercy on us all.
>>
File: 1343974064725.gif-(710 KB, 140x130, BehelitScream.gif)
710 KB
>>20159032
>>
File: 1343974724013.jpg-(29 KB, 512x384, perils of the warp.jpg)
29 KB
>This whole thread
>>
IA IA MEATBREAD FATAGHN!
>>
File: 1343975587421.jpg-(153 KB, 1200x803, THETHING.jpg)
153 KB
Jesus FUCK KILL IT WITH FIRE
>>
And worst of all, OP is obligated to put the demonic Phil-Behelit bread in his body.
>>
I am in absolute pain and love. I'll not speak for days as I've laughed until I had no more sound and tonight I shall soak my sheets from the terrorsweats conjured by the memory of The Bread.

I have no regrets.
>>
File: 1343975790072.jpg-(31 KB, 385x477, Ripley.jpg)
31 KB
>>20159342
Nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
>>
>>20157482
Hey, I know that guy!
>>
>>20159403
Then you must murder him for the monster he hath wrought upon this earth.
>>
>>20159403
OP or the other dude? Or did you recognize the mysterious person #3 by her hands?

captcha: services demonen
>>
File: 1343977002447.jpg-(23 KB, 274x434, mfw.jpg)
23 KB
>>20155423
>leave the cooking to the pros @ /ck/

There is about as much cooking on /ck/ as there are people who enjoy games on /v/.

It's a useless board.
>>
>>20159537
Just because we spend all of our time bickering about nonsense and don't post OC, doesn't mean we can't cook.
>>
As a fa/tg/uy who enjoys fine food this thread makes me feel sad.
>>
>>20159850
Also, we spend half of our time getting drunk and trolling incompetent newfags.
>>
Man, this is the only time I've ever been glad that another board has visited.

Though /sp/ getting /v/ to troll them because of a camwhore was pretty hilarious.
>>
Did anyone post this on /ck/ yet?
>>
This way lays madness...
>>
This thread, this fucking thread. It's like a nightmare that doesn't end.
>>
This thread makes me want to make some real food and show /tg/. Maybe next time I do rabbit pies or something I'll take some photos. Good scene setting food for fantasy games.

Nothing to make you feel like you're in fantasylands like a good crusty rabbit pie.
>>
>>20160683

No John, he said.

You ARE the meatbreads.

Then John was the meatbreads
>>
>this thread
Fun and dysentery was had by all.
>>
File: 1343988898585.jpg-(65 KB, 400x400, dysentery.jpg)
65 KB
>>
>>20160765
/thread
>>
great... NMow I ahve to make up my own meatbread recipy to cancel out the horror of this thread
>>
File: 1343989870706.png-(96 KB, 794x932, phil_face_by_brianc1006-d(...).png)
96 KB
>>20158258
P...Phil is that you?
>>
As a finn I'm gravely offended by OP's attempt at making lousy and soggy meatbread with white bread. Fucking white bread!?
>>
Is it just me, or did OP fail to make meatbread by not actually involving any BREAD in the cooking?

Seriously, OP should've just stuffed some meat in a loaf of bread and baked it.
>>
>>20160873
If you like cow food so much, go stand in a field.

We are HUMANITY, we are the pinnacle of evolution, we can purge all nature from our foodstuffs.
>>
File: 1343997218278.gif-(21 KB, 350x350, 1333493102455.gif)
21 KB
>>20155916

Oh god this is the best night I have had in a while.
Someone screencap/archive this
>>
I've been toying with the idea of having a regular cooking thread on /tg/ because I'm a cook and I'd like to add some more original content to the board. Nothing fancy, but some basic "here's some easy shit you can make for your game group, or just in general" type shit. I always held off because I thought I probably don't know enough about cooking.

This thread has shown me that standards are perilously low, though. Maybe we should start with one that's just titled 'don't eat raw meat.'
>>
Whoever did the archiving? YOU ARCHIVED THE OTHER FOOD THREAD, NOT THIS ONE.
>>
>>20161719
Nah, this is archived. It just got downvoted to shit because the asshole who originally archived it, did so in the worst fucking way possible.
>>
File: 1344002858743.jpg-(7 KB, 246x205, brain hurt.jpg)
7 KB
Jesus Christ, I come back and OP has made another monstrosity?
>>
>>20161659
I used to eat minced meat and sausages raw now and then. It tastes good, and somehow i didn't get an infection.


Delete Post [File Only] Password
Style
[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k] [cm / hm / y] [3 / adv / an / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / hc / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / po / pol / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / wsg / x] [rs] [status / ? / @] [Settings] [Home]
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

- futaba + yotsuba -
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.