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/tg/ - Traditional Games


File: 1344042869605.jpg-(48 KB, 401x288, Little Boy Blue.jpg)
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Sup TG. Been awhile since I was last here and wondering if anyone wanted to hear anymore of the stories around the wonders of the Big Boy Blue stories?

Questions, comments, or concerns may be directed here, just remember that I will be typing up anything in real time.
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>>20169600
No thanks
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Yes. Yes. God yes.
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Oh yes yes yes.

I must hear more of these horrors.
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>>20170244

Well, I asked for questions or specifics you want to hear about... Anything?

>>20170181

No gods were involved.
>>
Why does anyone care about these? They're pretty obviously made up. As long as you recognize that, then... I guess, whatever, suit yourself.

Also, what is
>TG
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>>20170278
Hmm
Well from the archived thread you posted

>My roommate (a whole ‘nother story of horror that would make me leave housing later)
>First Girl started dating someone (oh gods, that is a horror story she could speak to… Otherkin angeldemon who made her… do things…)
>(he needed to have more messages from his sex-messaging girlfriend… That’s another story).
>had a string of self-destructive episodes that make for hilarious stories
>talking to New Girl about the whole story (what I had left out)

So pick one I suppose
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>>20170293
I'm more inclined to agree with this guy. That and the fact that the guy obviously had mental issues sour the whole story.
>>
I enjoy BBB stories, please proceed. I don't care if they're not real. This is /tg/, most of the stories we tell aren't real.

(Not that I don't believe, of course)
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>>20170293
Eh, even if they are made up its still pretty entertaining.
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>>20170311
Lets hear about Roomate.
>mfw bbb looks like 666
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>>20170395
Seconding rooommate.
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>>20170311

Well, I guess I will start with my Roommate experience, and go from there.

Ahh, Freshman year. A wonderful time to just get away from your family and get to spread your wings and meet new people.

My SLAS was at that sweet spot; just the right distance to be far away from that meddling parental influence, but close enough to be able to drive home on a weekend to see the folks and be back from classes. I was an early decision, but somehow my housing was decided at the last minute. I had explained that I was a smoker, a night owl, and somewhat of a light sleeper.

And so, in the magnanimous and ultimately flawless wisdom of the Residential staff I was placed with a non-smoking, early bird who had no problem knocking about at 5 AM to get ready to start the day.

The only saving grace was he seemed to be quite the geek. Tall, gangly, black-haired nerd, son of a wealthy family who moved away from home and a good scholarship as a legacy elsewhere, my roommate had gotten in a day early and stocked the room. Projector TV, sweet gaming setup, and art on the walls.

He had decorated the room in large Magic the Gathering art, drawn by his girlfriend. Now these weren't the greatest pieces of art (in fact they were worse than deviantart), but he loved them and enjoyed showing them off to everyone. As someone with a sweetheart back home I totally understood the desire to be happy. Put my own things up, and we began our relationship with a few games of casual and cracked a few of his pile of sealeds to do some sealed.

It seemed an auspicious start to our life together.

It was a small island in the sea of pain I would discover.
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>>20170476
aaaaand I'm drawn in
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Oh boy story time!
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>>20170476

You see, roomie loved his girlfriend.

A lot.

To the point that they spoke on the phone at all hours of the day and night. Some of the most innocuous, nonsensical, middle school bullshit. When I had to make calls to my own significant other I was forced to go borrow a phone from Giant Gimli, our loveable RA who was a 6’5” spitting image of the LotR dwarf.

We played Magic, but soon Roomie began to break out his real skills at card play. Obvious deck stacking, bottom dealing, trick shuffles… The kid was playing card mechanic during friendly games. He had this janky Stasis deck that would have been great except for the complete lack of control beyond Stasis.

Yeah, the guy tried to play Stasis without any counters beyond Mana Leak, and so little removal that the threat just wasn’t there. Elfball, Squirrel Prison, Land Destruction, Fish… All the decks I had created over the years of collecting and playing crushed it, and then he would attempt to play with my decks and fail miserably. He had enough money to afford a LOT of shit for the game, and even had playsets of things that would have made for excellent decks. An easily five to eight K collection, but he just couldn’t piece together shit at all.

So I decided, after the thirtieth ragequit, that we should both go to the local Gaming mixer and see how things would go.

And there we learned of the weirdness of SLAS’s gaming community.
>>
>And there we learned of the weirdness of SLAS’s gaming community.
Twin Peaks: /tg/ edition
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>>20170578


We come in to what can only be described as a cheap Halloween party set, complete with people in costumes.

Well, at least the purveyors of the Gaming Club were in costumes. Between the fog machine, skulls, and welcoming bowl of special ‘Gaming Club’ d6s, it was really a swinging hip place to be on a Friday evening turning into night. We sat down after grabbing some refreshments as we see the groups gathering. Two girls dressed in prom finery (including tiaras and corsages) are sitting in weird throne-like seats looking about.

And they had a jester. A midget who was dressed in motley, posed and doing little jokes and jests throughout the ‘soiree’, and then did little dance moves. Yes, they referred to the whole thing as a soiree. I wanted to be mortified for them, but they seemed to be taking it seriously and maybe it was there thing.

I stepped outside to have an illicit underaged cigarette where I met another tall, gangly man with slumped shoulders and a face like a caveman. The Missing Link would become important after the events of the story, but we did have a nice chat about L5R, tabletop, and the faggotry of anime.

Then we heard the trumpets and decided to go in to see the shitshow.
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ohboyherewego.jpg
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>>20170661

The Gaming Group was controlled by a cult of personality surrounding a girl known as… hrmm, this could be a tricky spot, so let us go with Miss White. Her Court, known as the Whities, controlled the money for several geek groups including an Anime Club, Gaming Club, Historical Outings Club, and a Fantasy Literature Group. With that money they threw these ‘elaborate’ events, along with buying themselves a lot of nice things. Their complete lack of accountability allowed them to bilk trustees and student activity groups for thousands of dollars to get silver chalices, bondage equipment, and… other things.

And the Group was run in the SCA style. Individuals were brought up to be promoted into the ‘nobility’ of the gaming society based on merit, providing cash, or servicing Miss White. She was an equal opportunity bicycle, but at least she had standards to her vassalage. This was the night that two of her favorite people were being elevated to Baron, and thus able to DM games officially for the Gaming Club.

Yeah, according to them, being part of the Gaming Club meant you could only be DMed by an ‘official’ Gaming Club DM. You also could only play in sanctioned tournaments, unless you were ‘playtesting’ a deck. The games run by the Gaming Club consisted of World of Darkness, World of Darkness, more World of Darkness, and the famous Ravenloft campaign (we’ll discuss this one later in this story).

The Roomie was enthralled by the spectacle. He just had to become part of the group, whatever it took, and wanted me to start going with him to their events and get interested! It sounds like fun!

So, in the spirit of camaraderie and good cheer, I signed up for one of these ‘official games’ of World of Darkness to learn what would go on.

Heaven help me.
>>
>. The games run by the Gaming Club consisted of World of Darkness, World of Darkness, more World of Darkness

Mother of God. I mean, the game is fun and all but they are a roleplaying group, not a WoD group.

> being part of the Gaming Club meant you could only be DMed by an ‘official’ Gaming Club DM

wait, what the shit?
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>>20170785
>being part of the Gaming Club meant you could only be DMed by an ‘official’ Gaming Club DM

Wow... just wow... I'd start a signup sheet for a non-sanctioned game immediately.
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>>20170864

Seconded. Can only play with sanctioned ST or GM? That's not cool...
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>Yeah, according to them, being part of the Gaming Club meant you could only be DMed by an ‘official’ Gaming Club DM.

What the shit
>>
The more I think about it the dumber it sounds. I used to be the president of a small gaming group at my college and if someone wanted to DM you fucking let them. It's all about securing a boss room with some nice ass chairs for them to do it in. In other words, this story is gonna be good.
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>Two girls dressed in prom finery (including tiaras and corsages) are sitting in weird throne-like seats looking about.

Mother of god man I would have made my self king by my own hand by now. Take out a battle axe and have at it if it seemed like this. I do not take kindly to Despot as well as despots who try to take the fun out of gaming for me like that. I know you can and should have official tournaments and stuff like that but don't make it the only source of gaming.
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>>20169600
So was the BBB story real? Damn, crazy shit, reminds me of a friend I once had.
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>>20170785

So we sign up. This being Roomie's first experience in any RPGs beyond a game of OD&D when he was in middle school. I happen to have the books for Vampire (their preferred game, only 'advanced players' were allowed to play Mage, Changeling was only for the 'royalty' of the society, and Werewolf was out of the question!) and direct him through the creation process. We both create based on their rules, and as we're entering into an established game we get some pretty high-powered characters to play as.

I decided to go Nosferatu (because I like ugly) and basically play Adam Baldwin as a Vampire. Not Adam Baldwin from the horrible show... but rather Animal Mother turned Nosferatu. The only word I fight for is vitae, and I have contacts within some Soldier of Fortune style groups to keep Hunters at bay, along with having my own personal Joker as my thrall.

Roomie decides to go with Brujah, because he wanted to be able to be the classical fast moving, strong vampire with a lot of ANARCHY. Kind of Johnny Rotten meets Dracula.

Guess what the rest of the group is playing?
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>>20171002
2deep, sparkly, emo vampires.
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>>20170987

Names have been changed to protect the innocent. Other than that the stories you have read are true.
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>>20171002
This involves lipstick, eyeshadow, and long black hair. I just know it.
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>>20171002

>VTM
>Fish heads

No.

NO.
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>>20171044
Im afraid to ask but...what do you mean?
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>>20171044

Wait, what's with fish heads?
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>>20171091
I assume some Malkavian lolrandom stuff? But I don't play WoD.
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>>20171091
> he doesn't know the legend of the fishmalk
No one tell him. He's in for a great surprise.
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>>20171002
> fishheads.jpg
oh boy oh boy
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>>20171099
Oh god why did I look it up this is going to end badly.
the pic is of the Chernobyl plant.
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Oh god, this anon.

Watching with horror
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>>20171002

An entire 5 person group... of Fish Malks.

If you've never seen a Fish Malk, imagine Kenders who burn up in the sun. Stupid LOLRANDOM shitbirds who cannot play the game but for their totally awesome CRAZINESS.

We started the session, and two hours later after resolving Mr. Adult Baby's desires to be changed by Mrs. Schizophrenic who Believes Clowns Chase Her Everywhere we get going.

We are introduced in a bar scene that is part Rocky Horror Picture Show and part Mondo Cannibal. The whole group has decided to eat what Mr. Solipsistic Sociopath has labeled as a rabbit, which turns out to be a small child. Mr. I Believe I am the Burger King Resurrected begins to prepare buns and condiments for the feast.

I sit there dumbfounded by this complete vorefest, and begin to shake with anger. I understand that the occasional sick twist can be involved, but they discuss on the smoke break (oh, how I hate the people who smoke cloves) how they spent several sessions torturing and molesting the 'rabbit' to be served.

Fuck. This.

So I decide that it is about time to figure out a way to get the fuck out of this hellhole. And try to stop this shit right in its tracks.
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>>20171161
>The whole group has decided to eat what Mr. Solipsistic Sociopath has labeled as a rabbit, which turns out to be a small child.
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>>20171161
>group of kender

Dude, strategic retreat, all day everyday.
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>>20171161

The battle begins when we come in. I may be a monster, but my Humanity is not so far down that I can willingly allow for this group of individuals to eat a fucking child they have spent the better part of a few sessions molesting.

I decide to initiate combat. Two of the Malks decide to get involved, and, being fishmalks, pull out their wacky weapons. One has a cartoonishly large mallet while the other uses a more traditional lead-loaded stuffed fish.

High Potency, combined with a large pile of justdontgiveafuck physicals, gets me pretty far. I am making successes in the first few attacks while the rest of them look on. They pull noisemakers and their 'party hats' and bibs out to enjoy the festivities.

Roomie sits watching me do this, and then decides to jump into the fray. With his speed and decent combat and my built-to-fuck-weaklings block we are able to incapacitate one of them and get the other one hemmed up pretty well.

And then the Prince decided to get involved.

Captcha: Venereal eros off. Indeed.
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>>20171161
my only responce.
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>>20171241
>And then the Prince decided to get involved.
This sounds ominous. Continue.
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>playing with zimfags
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>>20171241

Meet the Prince. Anyone remember the old Cain sheet that says "You Fucking Lose!" ?

Well, apparently Cain decided to go fuck a skinny black bitch and produced this monstrosity.

You see, I became Dominated. Strings of the Marionette, Chain the Psyche, all of the nastiness. No attempts to resist, no ability to stop it.

And that is when I was forced to fellate the Prince. Indeed, I walked out to screams of 'not playing fair' and not 'taking my punishment' for my act of attempted teamkilling. I ask Roomie if he wants to head home and he decides he wants to stay.

So I hear how my character, because of his insolence, is forced to repeatedly sodomize the Rabbit, then eat it, then be eaten in an act of diablerie by the party leader (Mr. Mallet/Sociopathic Solipsism) for ruining the fun.

I receive a call after going out to hang out with ML. The Storyteller wants me to know that what I did was completely unacceptable and that I deserved to suffer for it. I was going to be reported...

I kindly told him the following.
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>>20171361
>>
I could deal with BBB, even if only barely. Even at the height of depravity, he's only one man against the world.

But this... This is getting fucking Lovecraftian. Your whole town is cursed.
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>>20171361
>I kindly told him the following.

Oh please tell me you knew that old ex-marine copypasta by heart and shouted every line at that stupid fucker.
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>>20171403
Pretty sure it was a case of >mfw when he said "I told him the following".
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>>20171361
Shit like this makes me glad I'm going to a technical college.
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>>20171403
I think he was referring to the image attached to his post there.
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>>20171418
>>20171409
aw oh well still pretty good.
>>20171361

But seriously fuck man what deity did you piss off in your last life. This shit is crazy
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>>20171403
God, I must memorize that specifically in case I need to do such a thing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsZMbs5PC64
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>>20171361

Roomie becomes an important retainer, becomes part of the Malkavian, and begins to pore over my books and all of the available information on Malks to become better at the game. I get regaled at more tales of weird abduction fantasies, lots of erotic roleplaying ("It's really mature, and so hot").

And Roomie begins to ERP with his girlfriend. Twisted, fucked up phone sex. At first it seems she isn't into it but he begins to discuss drinking her blood, beating her, generally just going over the top into the whole vampire persona.

And then our first big visitor's weekend comes about. I was off dealing with other individuals at this point, but then I got home...
>>
Man... we need to get some drawfags together and someone with a good voice and make some videos. The world needs to know of this man's pain...
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>>20171446
Bro. Know that many roleplayers are not this fucked up, and we of the sane variety all have many feels for you. Godspeed, and thank you for sharing your tale.
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>>20171446
F GOD DAMN 5
>>
this next part is going to be brutal I can feel it.
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>>20171446

Roomie's girlfriend is laying, in my bed, fetal position crying. She's covered in bruises, tore up pretty badly, and smells coppery like old blood. Roomie apparently decided to take out some of his newfound aggressive sexuality on this poor girl, but they're IN LOVE and he just DOESN'T KNOW HIS OWN STRENGTH.

I spend the rest of the night consoling her, being Big Brother Bear fat man to a tiny girl, trying to convince her that this isn't exactly normal. I get to hear all about the brutality, she refuses to go to a crisis counselor, and explains that if I call Security or the cops that she'll just tell them that I beat the holy hell out of her.

I fucking hate people so much.

Roomie doesn't come home, though I have her shift back to her bed and take my stuffed bear (graduation gift from my toddler nephew, sent him pictures around campus and out of town while he was overseas) over to the other bed.

I'm on the phone to my mother explaining the fucked up night at sunrise... And then the shit hits.
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>>20171688
AWWW FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
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>>20171688
AND THEN the shit hits!? Oh fuck. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck this has me on the edge of my seat.
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>>20171688
This might not be real but FUCK you need to write a book or something
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>>20171688

A tall lanky guy can beat the shit out of a small girl.

He can also get the jump on a fat man.

I took the base of one of those ancient phones made out of some hellspawn union of Bakelite and Adamantium to the back of my head.

We get into a tussle on the ground, and the fog clears as I begin to use the handset. Then I take the coil cord, wrap, and cinch.

He begins to turn blue before Gimli gets to the room. I see that giant dwarves do not wear undergarments to bed as a swinging pair of nuts and strong machinist hands wrench me off the Roomie.

Nothing was reported, it gets chalked to "Boys will be Boys".

And I'm still stuck.
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>>20171732

we need more stories!
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>>20171732
YES
MANLY GIMLI NUTS

YESSSSSS
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>>20171732
ow fuck man that sounds painful.
nice move with the cord though.
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>>20171732

I start to have severe headaches, some loss of control in the extremities, and a severe dick softening issue. Turns out that the blow did a work on my dome, and I have to go in for some tests and treatment.

After treatment for the swelling I was left with a slight tremor and better sexual stamina. So swings and roundabouts eh?

I'm going to take a short intermission on this story, but I do have a short one regarding a meetup at a Con and sexual misadventure/embarassment. Interested?
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Please, continue!

Even though I'm happy to listen, the anons doubting your story's truth has got me thinking. Is there any way you could provide evidence? Given the nature of what's happened to you, it's reasonable to refuse, but it would probably silence the naysayers and put people's mind to rest on the whole authenticity thing.
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>>20171789
Jesus christ what did you do in your last life to deserve getting shat on in this one like you are
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>>20171789
Wait are you OP or just trolling?
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>>20171789
I liked the other story but ive got nothing else going on tonight my friend share away.
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>>20171789
You, sir, are going to end up someone's muse.

Your suffering will become the most glorious novel in history.
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>>20171794
What naysayers?
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>>20171818
this is too detailed and fucked up to not be real.
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>>20171789

Sorry for taking the intermission, but I'm just kind of enraged about the Roomie story right now. So I will definitely post the other one and answers.


>>20171794

Nope. You can doubt the stories all you want. If it makes people happy to doubt them I'm fine by it.


>>20171807

Nay, it is I! I got a fucking stress headache from the rage of what is to come so I decided to tell something lighter.


>>20171815

Missing Link, New Girl and I always talk about writing... They were the Lit and Creative ones, I just do shit that has nothing to do with my major in hopes of finishing up law school (my real desire) or getting into network surveillance and infrastructure (more reliable work in my current region).
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>>20171849
this missing link fellow sounds like a nice enough guy.
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>>20171849
Will be waiting for more stories. That last one sounds like something similar to what I've seen happen before.
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>>20171849

Alright. So I got the opportunity to go to Origins in a period that I will keep vague for the sake of muddling my age and preventing this from being 404'd. It was a pretty cool experience, I got to meet people I had gotten to know pretty well through IRC and various sites and forums in CCGs and RPGs, play in a few events.

It was cash.

So I was staying with a group of friends who all drove the long haul with me. We played in a small tourney, and that's where I met her.

Cute girl, had discussed Magic with her from a forum, all around awesome gamer. Me being a disgusting fatbody and on the outs with my then-ex I decided to flirt with the girl who was giving me attention and spend some time. She was a student, attending a nearby university, and I was also a student... So it all balances out.

We got to talking, and went to a con party. When she decided to leave I decided to go with her to the house she was 'renting' with a few of her friends.

When we get there it is obvious that this is not a college house. Too neat, too few textbooks, not a 'girl house' but more of a 'family is away' situation.

We begin to do the things that two consenting young adults do, and she whispers into my ear that she would be willing to continue this somewhere a little more private.

We climbed the stairs, stopping every once in awhile, until we get to her bedroom...
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>>20171947
Time for some humpin?
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>>20171947
DANGER WILL ROBINSON, DANGER
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>>20171947

A pink room. Bright, fluorescent, hideous girly pink. A four poster bed. I throw her on the bed, I look up...

And dolls. Fucking dolls everywhere.

If you've never had the privilege of seeing hundreds of porcelain dolls on shelves around a room, well, you have missed out on life. Shelving three dolls high holds a Small World worth of little china dolls dressed in an ethnic frenzy.

Attempting to rally all Fat neckbeard Alpha I have within me I begin to get down to business. She starts talking, filth that has stayed in my mind as the most erotic and inopportune music ever uttered from a woman, and then makes the request every man wants to hear...

"I just want you to fuck my ass."

She gets into a position, raising her legs up in a contortion to make a gymnast proud, and offers herself up.

Meanwhile I am staring into the eyes of a Baby Mother Mary doll.

The sharp, piercing pain of unrealized Catholic guilt flows from brain to penis, and I attempt to rally...
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>>20172037
Oh god, my sides.
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>>20172037
This is getting good. Amazingly good.
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>>20172037
I would have noped out of there as fast as my penis could drag me.
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>>20172037

"What's wrong?"

"I... The dolls..."

"Oh, come on, they're not alive!"

Well, thanks for putting that option into my head. Now I think of some crazy Child's Play scenario of unmarried sex leading to a doll gorefest.

So we get up, naked, and begin to turn the dolls.

We spend the next thirty minutes turning each of the dolls, trying to get back into the mood, and I'm ready to get back into business. Lube procured, more moaning and good times, and just at the moment of truth I look up again...

To see that the BABY JESUS is now looking at me from over Mary's shoulder. A sad, "I died for your sins so you can bugger this bitch?" look in those eyes of pure Aryan innocence.

"Jesus is looking at me..."

"It's okay, I'm Jewish. (Someone) bought it for me for my bat mitzvah, they thought it was cute."

And so I hatefucked that asshole for the Son of God.

Even an atheist needs to be the Fist of God sometimes.
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>>20172097

Damn, pic didn't post for some reason.
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>>20172097
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>>20172097
haha oh god that's fucking fantastic
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>>20172097

>And so I hatefucked that asshole for the Son of God.

>mfw
>>
I've got a couple things I really want to know OP.
It's a long ass thread, so forgive me if this had been answered already..

1- How the fuck do you let this fat sack of psycho shit blackmail you to such an extent without taking measures to proof that he was 100% fucking nuts so you could go to the administration or counselors and be like, "LOOK. LOOK AT THIS PICTURE OF THIS FUCKER'S TAMPON SHRINE"

2 - How the fuck did you let this guy break up your engagement? All you had to do was tell her, "Hey, this guy was certifiably nuts. They found him cutting up animals and shitting in jars in between stalking me and my friends. Whatever he told you is a fucking lie."
>>
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>>20172097
>>And so I hatefucked that asshole for the Son of God.
>>
>>20172145

Sadly, at a lot of SLAS a guy like me (scholarship for being a good little hoodlum/bright poor kid) doesn't do so well. Combine this with BBB being the son of Daddy Warbucks I didn't have much of a chance.

My fiancee was not in the best of mental circumstances. She was a troubled person, and sadly passed away due to an overdose shortly thereafter. If you've never dealt with being deeply depressed and in that hole you may not understand it. I tried all that I could to fix the situation but the damage was done, we didn't speak, and I was crushed for a long, long time over it.
>>
>>20172187
Had no idea about the aftermath there. My condolences, friend. I've had people in my life fall so deeply into depression like that and unfortunately, I've lost them as well.

Sorry if I poked at a sore spot.
>>
>>20171875

ML has stuck with me for a long, long time. I used a different moniker than what he goes by anywhere, but if you're into certain games (not ones listed) you've probably seen his stuff. Awesome cat altogether.
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>>20172187
>passed away due to an overdose shortly thereafter

I think its time we go whale hunting. The great blue whale has terrorized enough people for its lifetime.
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>>20172159

>hatefucked

what does that even mean
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This is one of the best storytimes all year.
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>>20172187
I hate to sound dim, but what's a SLAS?
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>>20172187
>passed away due to an overdose shortly thereafter

>>20172219
MAN THE HARPOONS
>>
>>20172222
You hate something that you are about to sex so much you do it as violently as possible
>>
>>20172211

Ehh, it took a lot of stuff to come out the other side. I have not been dealt the best hand, and these stories are sort of me telling moments so people can understand that it could be worse.

Right now I'm also going through a pretty tumultuous situation in my life so I want to get everything down in case something were to happen. This is sort of the place I let things off my chest before I sit down and write them out, and I figured I owed the board I lurked so long some good times just in case.
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>>20172227

SLAS - Small Liberal Arts School. Pretty much the kind of place where a lot of rich people send their kids to get an education. I don't want to say that the places are all that bad... There are some great times to be had. But the level of fuckedupedness that can occur at such places is staggering.
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>>20172241
Hey, yeah you. You are awesome and a great person, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.
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>>20172259
Which explains BBB and the fucked up fish heads.
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>>20172259
Yeah, I got it like a minute after I posted.

Sorry.
>>
CONTINUE THE ROOMMATE STORY
IT'S TIME
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>>20172241
Sir do you have a copy of the 1982 conan the barbarian movie? If you do watch it read the opening quote and take it to heart and then sit down and watch the rest of the movie. If you haven't watched it in awhile you will find you missed it most likely.
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>>20172211

I'm sorry about that, neighbor.
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>>20171789

And so I will continue the Roommate story. In the next segment comes the aftermath of my first attempt to setup a game outside of Sanctions, my meeting with Miss White and Roomie, and the overall.

Just give me a minute... I'm watching Black Swan and the Mila Kunis/Natalie Portman scene is coming up.

You know the one.

I'll be right back.
>>
>>20172285

GET OFF HIS NUTS!!!


>>20172342

Can't you see a man is trying to masturbate????
>>
BBB-Anon, I don't know you, but I know your writing.
If you don't write for a living, you damn well should.
I don't give a flying fuck if this is real or not, I'm fucking emotionally invested now
>>
>>20172342
You deserve a break; take all the time you need.
>>
>>20172342

Aw, go on, you crazy kid you...
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>>20172495
No offense but it sounds like you are trying really hard to make your voice sound deep.
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>>20172555
That's actually just what I sound like normally... the microphone distorts things a little because it doesn't pick up well, but that's all me.
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>>20172342
I needed to be able to game, damn it. So I decided to set up my own game. I wanted to run something in the 3.x style, possibly Modern, but I needed to find players. I posted all around the campus, on various bulletin boards, only to find my postings being torn down. You see, I was breaking into the Gaming Club's racket, and they were none too happy. I was marked as their version of a That Guy, all because I didn't feel like dealing with pedophile fishmalk vampires and wanted to play something with a few less d10s involved.

It got so bad over that week that I finally just gave up. ML began an inquiry, and we met up with the Girl and some other players to start something up. We took over a nice room in a lecture hall that was rarely used... Nice projector system, multicolored chalk boards, good acoustics. We got some townies from a tutoring program that one of the upperclassmen ran, and we were doing 8-10 man games. Lots of dungeoncrawling, getting into the system, developing my voice past high school grimderp and overdramatic plays.

I was working on a map for the setting. Using a program to generate some cool landscapes in the math lab we had everything setup, and each player was given a region to flesh out. Over the next month we began to make something really great.

It was around the time of the BBB drinking episode that I came home to find the map, all of the paperwork that had been hanging on my wall, post its, and a sheaf of notebook pages.. Gone.

Roomie explained that he had removed them because I was running an unsanctioned game. As I was persona non grata in the Gaming Group I didn't see the issue... But apparently Miss White did.

If I wanted to get the shit back I would have to meet. Feeling sad that there were no chain flush toilets in the dormitories I set the meetup in a common room and got ready...
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>>20172587

No, you were trying for a radio voice.

Don't.
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>>20172625

On a related note:

Ahh, I was incorrect. Just the scene of Portman alone...

Which is really even better. Delightful.

Anyways... Back to the story.
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>>20172625
OH MAN
SHIT IS GETTING REAL
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>>20172625
TO WAR
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>>20172634
Can someone do a good Orson Welles? I think that would go well with this.
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>>20172686
Rod Serling is the only choice.
>Submitted for your approval, one small liberal arts school...
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>>20172686

Hrmm... Uhhuh.
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>>20172701
ohhh, I like that one too!

All I can pull off is Morgan Freeman.
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MFW reading this threat
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>>20172746
>All I can pull off is Morgan Freeman.
>All
I really hope you're not complaining.
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>>20172761
No of course not, the soothing sounds of Morgan Freeman don't capture the horrors of these stories though.
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>>20172733
Better.

Also have you done youtube videos? Your voice sounds familiar.
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>>20172783
No, I don't. It's better because I tweaked some microphone settings, but I assure you that it is my normal speaking voice, my mic is cheap as fuck though.
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>>20172625

So, about Miss White.

She's the natural progression of the geek Desert Queen. I never understood how she survived in her position for so long; if I was able to pull the shenanigans and relationships I got away with there I think any of the other antisocial nerds could do so.

Maybe they just loved fat nerds.

Anyways, she was one of those individuals who decides that having a vagina is the ultimate skeleton key. Rumors of professors were attested, but the real issue was that you would have to fuck her to be able to 'move up'. She somehow thought she was the leader of a 'polyamorous collective'... First Girl got caught up with all of that nonsense.

The really scary thing is that Miss White believed she was a Faerie Queen.

You see, all of her Chosen men and women were just trapped spirits inside of their bodies. She had convinced Roomie that he was a powerful Fey noble, and that his natural rage and lust were just stepping stones to embracing his Faerie nature. Others believed they were dragons, or demons, or angels...

And so there's that.

She was a solid manipulator of a bunch of pussy-impressionable kids.

Well, I was playing with BBB at this point, so I was beyond giving a fuck. First Girl, ML, and I walked in together to deal with the bitch...
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>>20172839

Gods damn it.

Pic related
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>>20172839

Really?

Is anyone still reading ths bullshit!?!
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>>20172906
I am.

It IS a bit far fetched but rich privileged kids have a tendency of being fucking crazy.
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>>20172906
Of course we are, we gobble this shit up.
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>>20172839
Give me moar or i swear on my red and gold colored jarhead heart i will kick your door down and sodomize your family at christmas!
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>>20172906
Indeed we are. You see, Sir Fuckstick, some of us enjoy hearing a good yarn. So when someone approaches with one as interesting and enthralling as this, we listen and enjoy ourselves. Apologies for thinking that I could enjoy myself without your permission. I guess I'll go kill myself now.
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>>20172919
It comes from never being hit or told no as a kid and almost exclusively being told they were special and all that other child-worshiping bullshit that leads to them believing their own fucking craziness.
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>>20172906
We get it: You think the story is suspect

However, we don't. Or, we think BBB-non's writing and fiction skills are good enough to write a fake story and have it be interesting.

The way I see it, it's both immeasurably fucked if this actually happened and if someone made it up.

In any case, we all understand that it's sorta far-fetched, so stop telling us the obvious.
>>
>>20172839
>The really scary thing is that Miss White believed she was a Faerie Queen.
>You see, all of her Chosen men and women were just trapped spirits inside of their bodies. She had convinced Roomie that he was a powerful Fey noble, and that his natural rage and lust were just stepping stones to embracing his Faerie nature. Others believed they were dragons, or demons, or angels...

I know a girl like that. Raised by Wiccan parents that ran a year-round Harry-Potter-BUT-FOR-REALSIES camp. Thought she was quarter-fae.
She said my aura was red, and flame-shaped because of my heightened receptivity to spiritual energies (she didn't know I was a Christfag...odd) - as opposed to our skeptical atheist mutual friend, who was more teal and tear-drop-shaped.
She was also ECCENTRIC.
But man, she was cute.
>>20172906
I am.
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>>20172839

Miss White was sitting in a chair with Roomie and her then 'boyfriend', Sociopath Solipsist. She was dressed in one of her Victorian outfits, and drinking out of her ever-so-classy pentacle chalice (SOEDGY).

I explained, quite calmly, that I would be expecting my things back immediately without dealing with any more of this bullshit or involve the Dean of Students.

She begins to talk, and First Girl interrupts her speech.

As the two attempt to keep into their girl shouting match, Sociopath Solipsist leaps to his feet and screams:

SHUT UP YOU FUCKING KIKE CUNT!

Well, that was news to me.

I then heard the sound of ten small knuckles cracking, and a blur of newly-unveiled Judaic might stream across the room.
>>
>>20172906
Yeah me too. Some of it is out there but a lot of us have seen fucked up gamers before. The fact that it's possible for this to have happened is whats enthralling. That and the writing.
>>
>>20173003
oh boy oh boy

I hope she gave him what for
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>>20172906
You've never met a past DM I had, I'll leave it at that much. Believe me, people like this exist, and it's fucking horrifying.
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>>20172906
I had a previous "That Girl" in one of my groups that literally thought she was like some sort of Fae or Aasimar. Raised by poor-ass, neopagan parents and constantly called me "dragon" or "demon".

Shit was not fun as she hated my guts because I didn't kiss the cheesy lumps between her fat folds like the other group nuts dying to inhale the fresh whiff of low tide at the wharf that she called a "pussy". She would wear faerie wings to the gaming session on occasion and shake the house like an 8 on the Richter scale jumping around in the already structurally-unstable, low-income house.

And then later I entered -another- gaming group who had -yet another- fat chick, aasimar wannabe.

Seriously, what the FUCK is with aasimar and people that play them?
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BBB-anon is like that guy who posted that ridiculously hilarious copypasta with the one guy and his punk-girl and wife companions, who's FLGS was taken over by the shitty son of the couple who worked there, as well as being a haven for a child kidnapper and an immense fem-beast with horrid acne who didn't understand the concept of no. It's just one huge fucking accident you're driving by and you can't stand to look away, no matter how ridiculous it is.

Or, for those of you who didn't see that thread, here's Catan.
>>
Guy that posted the vocaroo things, would anyone like a sample reading of part of the story? (pick a post?)
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>>20173103

The entire aasimar fluff is that they are (part?) celestial and will have golden radiance and shit. Also they can be born from completely human parents because celestial genes are recessive.
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>>20173103
>Seriously, what the FUCK is with aasimar and people that play them?

I thought I was the only one who noticed that. A while back a dude I used to game with kept harassing me about his aasimar character that would dress up like a woman and trick the other PCs into thinking he was different women. Never watched him play this... just heard about it... 20,000 times...
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>>20173133
Why not. Go ahead.
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>>20173103
I've found that people that play fae and their various offspring are worse.

but then again, I'm biased; I've been in games with Colette.
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>>20173003

Apparently SS learned that the Girl was Jewish because of her relatively frequent appearances at Hillel.
You see, First Girl’s family is very hardcore in their Judaism. Being the lone survivor of a large family, Grandfather First Girl was quite enthusiastic. I learned the family story, how he had grown up in Bratislava, had been a bit of a disappointment to his family, and started running with the wrong crowd.

That wrong crowd included a man named Imrich Lichtenfeld. You may know him as Imi Sde-Or.

You see, Imrich Lichtenfield was a big deal in Slovakia. An all-around athlete (wrestler, gymnast, boxer), he took to the streets during the uprising of the Fascists and became a street fighter. Among the guys who took up arms with him was a younger man who would then have his family wander into the eagle’s nest, lose them, and make way to America.

They stayed acquaintances, and Grandfather First became quite interested in Sde-Or’s life work, an Israeli fighting tradition. He even made sure that his daughters, sons, and grandchildren learned the art.

Have you ever seen a 100 pound girl beat the shit out of someone using Krav Maga?

It is epic. When the dust settled and we were done SS was much worse for wear, with a missing tooth, a split lip, and a nose that was about 15 degrees off-kilter.

I love her to this day for that. I still have the original map, bloodstained, somewhere in storage. Bravo FG.
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>>20173188

Gotta love Krav Maga
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>>20173133
>>20173149
>>20172839
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0A2Ikc4VqQW

I hate how the mic picks up my breathing, I really do. Not re-recording over my stumbling of words.
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>>20169600
>This entire thread
I don't know if you recall the old WoD digichats from White wolf's site or independant sites, but, well experiences like yours and what i've dealt with are the reason I got out of RPGs in general.
This and the fact the majority of MtG-fags here are fucking bastards that spend 400+ dollars on a deck from divorced-daddy's wallet that is only good for that "Standard type" year are reasons I stick to Warhammer and Malifaux(with an interest in Warmahordes now).
No weirdness ever, except for neckbeards and the occasional retard who rants constantly about Khorne or meaningless theorys, comes from this.
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>>20173188

So, after that display we were mostly covered from the idiocy that was the Gaming Group. Because of 'irreconcilable differences' I was allowed to move to different housing which made me, sadly, closer to BBB. ML was closer too, which made life a little more manageable, and we began to take off as a group in earnest.

It was around this time that FG gained a secret admirer. Due to the whole situation with SS she gained a bit of a reputation as a hardass, belying her nature, and if there's something that sweaty neckbeards seem to like it is a dominant woman.

Sadly, she soon got entangled in some other stuff, but you probably don't want to hear any more.

If you want I do have a few more short stories about stupid misguided adventures, or we can open the floor for questions.
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>>20173188

>Really wanna take up Krav Maga now...
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>>20173265
>Sadly, she soon got entangled in some other stuff, but you probably don't want to hear any more.
I do.
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>>20173257

Oh, stop being a whiner.

I suffered through all of that and have some good gaming stories because of it too. But everybody wants to watch the trainwrecks... Tales of good games are always met with 'THAT'S SO SHITTY!!!'

At worst I get to hear a bunch of idiots who want to complain about how 'fake' my shit is.

Also, if you play it right, you can get away with a lot. I am still sore from losing my Big Box of MTG shit at a con... And when I look at prices on some of the shit included I weep.
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>>20173265
So was Missing Link basically a good dude and your go-to guy through college?
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>>20173284
/k/ here, Krav Maga is only great on screen. You "might" train, but it will probably be some bullshit mc-dojo. Low chance of actual Krav Maga.

Ask around, you're bound to have a few friends who train in something. If they're happy with their training, you should try it.

Doesn't really matter what combat art, because they all teach the similar things. Even boxing, even tho regarded as only an art in the ring, is great.

In the end, you can make your own personal art where you use moves that you're great with, and avoid all the flashy, useless shit that comes with every art.
>>
>>20173285
So you gonna finish that story of the roommate.

if not then
>>20170311
>First Girl started dating someone (oh gods, that is a horror story she could speak to… Otherkin angeldemon who made her… do things…)
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>>20173328

Thanks, /k/. I'll remember that.
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>>20173265

Ahh, and the epilogue of the Roomie story.

Well, after the debacle Roomie was in mental anguish. Taking up with all of the Whities in their special housing groups (they all banded together to get a large space through some well-played malarkey), he began to go deeper down the rabbit hole.

First Girl, during a visit to her then boyfriend in the housing group, accidentally walked in on Roomie with Miss White and her then beau, in the middle of a Lucky Pierre.

Shortly after that incident Roomie began dating Miss White and her boyfriend. The three began frequenting a popular club a couple hours away, and Roomie dropped out of college shortly after.

I saw him on the street a year or two ago when I was visiting friends in that general Metro area. He recognized me but I barely knew who he was until he mentioned our time together. He had a pretty severe burn across his face, and asked if I could buy him some Sudafed.

From what I can gather from our one mutual friend he began a spiral down into the depths shortly after dropping out. Parents disowned him, began cooking meth due to his chem major, and had a little accident . From his state when we met I figure he is probably sucking a cock (glass or flesh) somewhere in the general area.

As he was a pretty good woodwind player I hope his circular breathing helps him in all future endeavors. Fuck that guy.
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>>20173265

>but you probably don't want to hear any more.

MOTHERFUCKER THIS BETTER BE YOUR WAY OF GOING "I would rather not talk about it" BECAUSE YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WE WANT TO KNOW
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>>20173328

Yeah, not a lot of real Krav schools out there anymore. It is a shame... the Girl could really fucking wreck people. Between her and my midget buddy who did honest-to-gods Jujitsu it was always a hoot.
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>>20173417

Whoa whoa whoa.

Too much cool for me. Turn off your cruise control.
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>>20173423
>>20173377
http://www.resist.com/Kill_or_Get_Killed_Pt1.pdf

CQC book. Lots of nasties, eye gouging, ear slappin, nut crackin' and all that juicy stuff.
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>>20173407
aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAaaaaaaa why did I enlarge that picture
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>>20173423
>Ninja Midget

... GO ON. PLEASE, GO ON. THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE MOST AWESOME THING I'VE EVER HEARD.
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>>20173445

I-I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I apologize.
>>
So OP, any adventures between you and ML? He seems like an alright sort.
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>>20173265
Do you still live around Columbus?

Also, continue, these stories are great.
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>>20173545

When did I state I lived near Columbus?

I fucked a girl IN Columbus...
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>>20173564
I assumed when you said Origins.
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>>20173525

Oh, plenty of good times. Dodged a lot of craziness with him, and ML, the Sheikh, and I spent a couple of years just doing our thing. The problem is that the best stories are so tangential to /tg/ that it seems silly to post them.
>>
>>20173303

Not really whining. Well just a little
If your having fun with RPGs, then good. I just knew to get out of it while I was still ahead.
That and dating a woman thru an RPG group who turned out being an ex-crackwhore who needed RPGs to cope with reality because of how fucking shitty her existence is kinda does it. Mix it with the last time I tried RPing, my friend who was running 3.5 ruined it further for me because my character wasn't overpowered(I made a Half-orc Monk/Sorcerer) so he made some Assassin that looked like Kratos that could turn into a badger because of some half-assed random race chart he made up.......
I'm not saying you are "fake" at all. I know. I know rather well what sorta bullshit can occur.
Sorry to hear about your MtG loss.
>>
>>20173407

rrrrrrrriiiiiiiighhhhhhtttt.

Keep on lying /tg/.
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>>20173705
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>>20173705
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>>20173003
I remember reading a /tg/ story about some guy's girlfriend who was in the Israeli special forces or something. Same thing?
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>>20173453
>Lots of ways to actually win a fight
Fixed that for you.
>Published by Paladin Press
Hah.
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>>20173188
>anti-Jew person
>calls girl a kike
>pseudonym abbreviates as SS
Nice.
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>>20173407
>Fuck that guy.
I'm sure someone is.
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>>20173108
Holy shit, man.
The worst part is that there are friends of mine at my SLAS that would gladly defend them.
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>>20176891

You must always use the power of symbolism when available my friend... Otherwise you just let it rot on the vine.


>>20174495

Nope. As far as I know FG never decided to go be a Superjew... Just a normal, everyday Krav Maga practitioner.


>>20176858

But but but... Paladin Press is totally legit!

Haha. Looked at the book... Not horrible ideas but there's not a lot linking it together. So you're kinda fucked if you cannot put it all together.

So any questions? Thinks clawing at the interior of your skull? Want to hear more?
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>>20177367
Yes. MOAR. Particularly interested in
>First Girl started dating someone (oh gods, that is a horror story she could speak to… Otherkin angeldemon who made her… do things…)
for pure "i want to hate bad people even more"
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>>20177425

Not mine to tell my friend, that's kind of the point. I've asked her if she wanted to talk about it, but apparently she doesn't wish to and no one seems able to take a hint on it.

On that note namefag, thanks. I'm out!
>>
Bump
>>
This has been archived, right?
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>>20178050

Doesn't look like it.
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>>20178050
Bro-tip, foolz.us archives every single goddamn thread.
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>>20178733

Seems to have been archived.

>tagged 'Fiction?'

Oh fuck off.
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>>20178972

So, I think I will start up for the afternoon crowd with a story here in a moment... It involves gnomes, roleplaying games, paralysis, and Kevin Smith.

Interested?

Pic unrelated; probably my favorite lurked image since I stopped last time.
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>>20179896

Hell Yes.
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>>20179896

So sophomore year, after Miss White graduates (and remains in town for a year for 'advanced study' [read: institutionalized rich nerd can't hack the outside]), the Gaming Group frees itself up. Games begin sprouting up naturally, and most of the diehard jerkWoDs start to realize that their awesomely deep culture needs to go.

We get together a group of guys to play. ML, First Girl, New Girl, and the Polish Mule (exchange student who plays sports and is renowned for his equestrian nature) choose me to DM some straight up D&D. We throw the homebrew away, instead focusing on some classic imagery.

We decide to play in a lecture hall like before, but this one is a bit smaller and more cozy. The game progresses pretty well, and I decide that for the next session (about five sessions in) I want to introduce some gnomes.

As a lot of the game's fun had been in exploring "Yes, and" situations. The game was silly, with the party battling a mirror mage who was looking to create the first set of beholderkin corrective lenses, a group of clerics summoning their divine wrath in the form of a Pillsbury Dough Boy-like golem inspired by our recent viewing of Ghostbusters, and some other shenanigans.

So I was sitting down at lunch at a small cafe, minding my own business, when she walked up to my table...
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>>20180417
I'm on the edge of my seat already!
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>>20180417

She sits, sipping her chai and looking at my notes. Working on gnomes I decided to go a sort of 'maniac David the Gnome' type, including dire foxes, giant eagles, and a leader who wishes to bring about the Great Gnome Revolution. They have enslaved a group of blue goblins who are forced to wear white breechclouts, and forced them to build great works through a hive mind psionic process triggered by ritualistic chanting.

Yes, Gnomes have enslaved the Smurfs and broken them under their tiny boot heels.

The girl seems interested, and with her cute smile, piercings, and tattoos I fall for this pixie nerd girl. She explains that she is a freshman and that I should swing by as her and her roommate are going to be watching a marathon of movies this weekend.

I begin to politely decline and she rubs her heel on the interior of my Jabba-like thigh.

And my resolve fails. Girls night sounds GREAT! We exchange information and I go call off some hanging out I was going to do, while debating my next movie.
>>
>>20180623

>Going for girls night.

Oh you weak willed son of a bitch. Some things were not meant for mortal Men.
>>
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>>20180623

So I get a shower, shine myself up a bit, and head off the freshman dorms. I knock on her door, and ask if I can come in. She declines, coming out instead smiling, and giving me a kiss on the cheek.

See, she had scheduled for a viewing in a small 6-person auditorium in the library and her friends had ditched her, all very sad, we would be watching movies together tonight.

So what is the theme?

Oh, Kevin Smith movies. I love his work... He's funny, and charming, and I love Silent Bob.

I look to the heavens, thanking them for dropping this obviously mentally scarred chubby chaser into my proverbial lap, and we head down to watch some films.

The library viewing area is kind of old style, with soft cushioned benches for three people, then another, and a projector. Very cramped, but for a campus that is very rustic and out of the way its a good place to have some friends come smuggle booze and watch bad movies. This was actually where I had a seminar on Mythological Narrative in South Asian Film so I knew the spot, and we proceeded to turn on Clerks.

We're about 1/2 way through the movie, laughing, silent touchy flirting, when she decides she wants to lie down. The benches have little psuedo desks so we easily fold those up, and since she is a wee thing and I am who I am she takes the seat and I kick back against the bench on the comfy thick padded floor.

She starts playing with my hair, I look back and see something close to the image posted...
>>
>>20180667

>Total Alpha
>Will miss out on some of the best pussy and die alone.

Know when to pick your battles. If a girl randomly invites you to something the same night that is free, and happens to rub your dick with her foot while smiling you're probably in the clear.
>>
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>>20180746

I am ready, mind, body, and soul, to do things about this.

And then we have to switch movies. Chasing Amy is up.

Now, I would like to take a moment to personally thank Kevin Patrick Smith. I don't know what is contained within his work, but I am currently batting 1000 over my sexual history with first dates and the involvement of Kevin Smith.

I was blown in a theater during Jersey Girl. The only happiness anyone received from that movie.

Anyways we begin to watch Chasing Amy and she comes down to my level to drape herself on me. I'm alright with this and thankful that the library viewing rooms look and are invisible to the outside world as she has divested herself of her sundress and hands me her panties as she pulls them off.

I have a nude 18 year old across my lap. Life is good.

We begin to do as anyone might, and then we get to the action.

Pic related, her face was in this position for some time.
>>
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>>20180965

Realizing the limits of this confined space for further enjoyment, we decide to retire to her place. I was quite a bit of a distance from my own dorm, had walked as it was a nice night, and I wasn't about to prevent this Kevin Smith induced delicious gift slip away. We get to her place, knock, no answer, and proceed to walk in...
>>
>>20181013
Oh god gnomes everywhere?

How many times has this happened?
>>
Maybe a Sean Connery voice would be good for the reading. OP is pulling some classy James Bond shit right now.
>>
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>>20181013

She’s definitely a geek girl.

Lots of posters, Labyrinth, Dark Crystal, Flight of Dragons, an old store MTG banner. Bunk beds.

She has some awesome stuff, and shows off a bit while I am more than happy to ignore all of that shit. She and her roommate have decided to go with a bunk bed configuration, and she (of course) took top bunk. Both have the enormous amounts of blankets that only girl rooms seem to have, and while the roommate has the traditional pink frilly shit, Awesome Chick has Star Wars bedding.

Star Wars bedding. I am about to commit the first non-molestation sexual act on Star Wars bedding in documented history!

Why did it have to be the top bunk! Well, they’re big college beds (that weird ‘not a twin but not a queen long but sorta wide’ thing, and she undresses, leaps up after embracing me in full undress, and readies herself.

I strip down, stubbing my toe on something, and get into bed with her. We begin to tussle, questions about condoms occur (she’s on the pill, I’m a completely reckless college student who is happy to hear that)…

The moment of glory comes and she coughs, reminding me that there is a certain quid pro quo that must be satisfied.

I get to my business like a fat kid on cake. She’s vocal, moaning loud enough to get a rap on the wall from a neighbor (Through thick prison dorm walls) and very mobile. She’s small but wiry, that nice tight ballerina build with the curves you get from not being too serious.

The moment of truth comes, she lets out a final scream and thrusts upwards. I am off my center of balance, and the thrust knocks me into the air.

I think OHFUCKMEFUCK as I fall…
>>
>>20181193
>OHFUCKMEFUCK
That's what she said!
>>
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>>20181193

My left foot hits something and I feel a sharp, stabbing pain in my right shoulder as I fall.

I pass out, for around 10 seconds, and wake up to crying and laughing.

You see, the roommate had apparently been sleeping when we came in. We were too busy to notice, but she was sneaking a peek at our activities as I was performing an act of Jedi-level cunnilingus, and at the moment of Awesome Chick's orgasm I was propelled out of bed to have my foot collide with Less Awesome Roommate's face.

I try to get up, laughing at the whole situation, but realize that I cannot move my legs.

Did I forget my training? Had my final act pre-orgasm (what I like to call the forbidden hello) damaged my karma?

I turned my head to the side where my shoulder was hurting (foot was a momentary POW and done but that fucking shoulder...) to see the cause.

A fucking gnome. This gnome, but larger, had been a few precious inches from being what broke my fall and probably my spine with it. Instead, I just took a pretty hefty blow to the shoulder, and a weighty bruise.

The sudden jolt left me unable to move for around an hour. The ambulance is called, and about half way to the ER I regain most feeling in my legs and feet. They triage me, determine it was a momentary lapse, and I was set free.

We surveyed the damage (one content AC, one split lip and chipped canine on the roommate, a gigantic bruise on my shoulder). . . and a relationship that would last about a year.

Awesome Chick is still awesome. We stay in touch occasionally. She married a guy who looks just like me but whose bank book is quite a bit thicker. We had a lot of fun times (her sophomore room adjoined a girl we were both interested and had a shared bathroom so...)

And all was well. Hope you laugh at a bit of my misfortune and aren't too sad that not all my stories are ragefilled.
>>
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>>20181316

Was to be expected.
>>
>>20181355

So, any other questions, comments, or story suggestions?
>>
>>20181404
Awesome Girl story was very nice. Glad everything turned out as well as they started.
Maybe
>(he needed to have more messages from his sex-messaging girlfriend… That’s another story).

If it's your story and not someone else's. If not, I dunno, whatever you want, as long as we get our storytime.
>>
>>20181355
> We had a lot of fun times (her sophomore room adjoined a girl we were both interested and had a shared bathroom so...)
... Go on.
>>
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>>20181461

I don't think I can just start writing erotica in a thread for no reason.

I mean I wouldn't tell you about that girls smooth, bronzed skin and soft curves, or how they looked as the two of them entwined in the large dual-headed shower, joined together by...

Well, I just wouldn't. It would not be in keeping with the safe for work nature of this board.
>>
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>>20181553

You fat fuck Scheherazade!

I will allow you to survive one more night if you tell the story.
>>
>>20181553
u son of a bitch you have to tell us NOW. It is too cruel to leave it at that.
>>
>>20181553
So tempted to make a thread on /u/ and cross-link it here...
>>
>>20181553
Go on.
>>
>>20181617

No. I see the inherent racism in /tg/... I mean, no one wants to hear about a mixed race girl who gets assigned to a place, walks in on a couple in the shower, decides to watch, gets...

Well, it's a long, protracted story that doesn't have /tg/ related material in it. Except for maybe the use of riding crops and that one time where we kept joking about Use Rope and circumference...

No, totally not anything anyone would be interested in.
>>
>>20181693

You're wearing that joke kinda thin buddy

Just post the story you fuck
>>
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>>20181693
>>
>>20181624

/u/ doesn't really fit for it. yurifags would be upset because there may be a penis involved somewhere.
>>
>>20181773
Yeah that's what I thought, but I had posted already. /h/? Dunno if erotica is /h/.
>>
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>>20181553
> bronzed skin
I don't care if you're trolling or not.
>>
>>20181802

Yes, I make a typo and somebody get butthurt.

Go fuck yourself.

I figure /b/ is about the only board that would be anywhere near it... Sadly.
>>
>>20181845
Okay, but there's one big problem with that assumption: You didn't make any typos.
>>
>>20181845
>>20181802
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/bronze
Sup son.

Basically "bronzed" can be a synonym for "tanned"
>>
>>20181891

Ehh, I always thought it was bronze and not bronzed.

Learn something new everyday.

Well then
>>20181802
Guess you're just a small cocked racist faggot.

Surprising.

Since I cannot write up that story here guess I will go with something else.

Anything you guys want to hear about?
>>
>>20181936
Bronze is also a verb. Anyway, yeah.
Let me just quote myself here.
>>20181423
Maybe?
>>
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>>20181891
Gee, I can't possibly understand why someone would be mad at someone for not sharing a story involving delicious brown girls. Let's think about this for a moment.
>>
>>20181936
Write up the story elsewhere and give us a link.
>>
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>>20181971
Did I hear someone say "delicious brown girls"?
>>
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>>20182005
Hells yeah you did.
>>
More delicious brown girls god damn it
>>
I'll fully admit, I only entered this topic because I saw something about brown girls on the front page.
>>
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>>20182045
Ask and ye shall receive.
>>
>>20181958

Oh, the story of Second Roomie and the fucking messages...

Oh yes, I can definitely tell that one.

Roomie decided to move out, and it was a well-known fact that I was getting away with having a double room as a single. Life was nice, but it never lasts in a SLAS.

We got in a couple of transfers, and so the housing group shifted me over with one of the new kids. Quiet, clean-cut, awesome kid who had been at the SLAS, transferred to a closer school to support his mother through chemo, then came back. He needed a few semesters to complete, but got stuck in the freshman dorms because there wasn't a lot of room available in the better locations.

So we met, hung out quite a bit... and then the calls started coming in.

Roomie had been the aggressor, but Second Roomie's girl was quite obviously the one interested. She would get graphic, and the mailbox would be full of things...
>>
>>20182103

Her favorite thing was ageplay. She would call up and start in on these rants about missing Daddy and wanting him to come home and play with her.

Ever get that awkward boner from hearing a fully grown woman talk about her little whore cunny needed to be stuffed so that it would stop feeling so empty?

While her boyfriend is in the room?

Yeah. You should try it out.

She would go into long fantasies, and had that high, sweet girly voice that sounds absolutely perfect to corrupt with filth. She would discuss how Daddy needed to spank her, tie her down, force her onto the bedpost...

We fought a lot, especially after he deleted those messages. But the guy was pretty whipped and couldn't have known... I mean, the fiancee left a lot of innocuous messages, and they had been there for a week.

But then the last visitor's weekend before finals came, and I got to meet my Roomie's 'baby girl'.
>>
>>20182152


She is enormous.

Not fat, no fat would be expected. This girl is 6’3”, tanned, highlighted hair. Roomie 2 is maybe clearing 5’7” on a good day with lifts. She’s definitely attractive…
But she has a fucked up face. We’re not talking “oh, you busted your nose playing softball” or “fix the teeth and all will be well”. No, she was horrendous. Hooked nose, crooked teeth, a sort of frozen look of shock.
And she leaps onto Second Roomie. Locking up with him in the vice grip usually seem in middle school romances. We chat, and enjoy company. I get New Girl to tag along with us for a ‘double date’ and proceed to set out to the local pub/restaurant.
We have fun. She seems to be more geeky than he is (shocker!) and we get on well. A few games of some available card games and purchasing of completely legal alcohol we’re socially well-lubricated.
I walk New Girl back to the dorms, where she has been socked out of her room. Door knob covered, no options available and tipsy/flirtatious she invites herself back to the room.
We go on back and I have my one fucking case of whiskey dick in my life. Yeah, here’s a girl I have wanted to fuck for months on end, been unable to because I was engaged, perfect night… And cannot get it up. Thankfully we both laugh it off, I do my proper payment for disappointment, and we wrap up just as Second Roomie and the Biggest Waste of a Hot Body get back.
Jokes are made about the sock on the door, we feign ignorance, we leave the two of them to their thing (why they didn’t just stay back at her hotel room…) and then come back to sleep.

Then it begins…
>>
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>>20182348

It begins with me feeling someone pressing on my chest. Then the pressing becomes more frantic, and I wake up with a jerk.

New Girl is looking hungover and horrified at the end of the bed.

BWoaHB is sucking on New Girl’s toes. Apparently vigorously. The sound of her slobbering suction is filling the room, and she has managed to get 3” of NG’s full foot into her mouth.

I then notice that BWoaHB is in footie pajamas. And seems to be wearing an adult diaper.

I begin to tap her on the head . . . Then, fearing she my bite down with those jank teeth and cause some damage, NG slowly extricates her now-sopping tootsie out of that maw. BWoaHB seems completely asleep. No movement, eyes closed, keeps sucking on air.

Second Roomie comes in and profusely apologizes as he attempts to get her back into bed. He explains that she randomly sleepwalks and does strange things during the night, and is a chronic bedwetter. Of course I know a bit about the concept of the Adult Baby, and I am not buying it for a minute.

BWoaHB leaves the next day, looking downcast and generally aware of what has happened. She calls to apologize, and then begins to try to be coy and sexy to initiate some of her creepy fantasy.

It was then I realized that I really needed to get fully the fuck out of this dormitory, and beat a path toot sweet.
>>
>>20182091
>>20182089
>>20182012
>>20182005
>>20181971

Thanks for shitposting my thread gentlefags.
>>
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>>20182477
>>
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>>20182477
We aim to please.
>>
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>>20182477
In a more mature response, I don't think delicious brown girls are going to "shitpost" in a thread with a story currently about Adult Baby fetishes.
>>
>>20182650

>Not understanding BBB
>Needing validation for only having poorly drawn anime women.

Did you READ any of his stories anon?
>>
>>20182650
stop shitposting over storytime, summerfag.
>>
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>>20182718
>Needing validation for only having poorly drawn anime women.

>>20182721
I will if it actually gets interesting and not just "WOW, PEOPLE HAVE SOME FUCKED UP FETISHES".
>>
>>20182774

>Doesn't get BBB stories
>Reeks of Summer.

Again, stop being a shitposter.
>>
>Someone posts fanfic
>/tg/ believes it

for fuck's sake. This shit is as bad as modern fantasy/quests.
>>
>>20182448

So, other than the rampant faggotry how's everyone doing?

I know, the story was an odd one. But most of the SLAS scene was.

Thankfully most things calmed down after awhile, but those first few years were ridiculous.

Anyone want to hear more about anything? If not I think I'm tagging out and heading off.
>>
>>20182774
Shoo, vile sunshinehomo.
>>
>>20182817

I would like more please. If only to help me realize that I'm not alone in dealing with these socially inept monstrosities that call themselves human beings.
>>
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>>20182815

>Feels the need to ruin everyone's fun.

NOMOREFUN! HATEHATEHATE!!

>>20182817

Go on...
>>
>>20182817
We've heard so much about the shitty times, so how about the good times?

Any awesome games or anything?
>>
>>20182794
BBB stories are summer you fucknugget.
>>
>>20182650
>>20182774
>>20182815

Sure is butthurt samefag in here.
>>
>>20182846

It's actually really easy to moonwalk with a shopping cart due to the way moonwalking works. You can support most of your weight on the cart and focus more on doing the walking motion rather than properly moonwalking.

Just Google how to moonwalk, and don't feel bad if your moonwalk is shit at home because it'll be a lot better with the shopping cart.
>>
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>>20182852

>Entertaining OC about a nerd with fucked up times
>Cancerous Summerfaggery

Pick one.
>>
>>20182848

Most of my good times are just everyday fuckuppery. I'm a fat fuck who ForeverDMs...

Could tell some character stories. Most of Crowning Moments during a session would require doing a whole fucking storytime just to get it down.

There was Knocking on Heaven's Door, where the players were playing in a 1960s/70s Arcane Americana game that had a mad scientist trying to open a portal into the Kingdom?

I'd love to go into the Three and a Half Samurai but I would need my game notes... Halfling, Nezumi, and Vanara samurai battling against a group of goblinoids?

I could of course try for crowning moments of awesome for a few characters...

Calvin Hobbs, the character concept whose name is a complete 180 from what it became...

Slim Charlie, the blues guitarist who now sits on the Throne of Heaven...

Plenty of stories, just don't know which is worth telling without having to do an entire novel on it.

A lot of my games are kind of fucked up thrill rides filled with a lot of weird history and shit. They're fun to play, but interpreting the overall moments can be difficult.

I can definitely try if something sounds good.
>>
>>20183008

Pretty much any one of the aforementioned piques my interest atleast. Or, you know, anything you're up to regaling us with.
>>
>>20183171

Bump for interest in God as a Blues Musician.
>>
>>20184282

For some reason I just got several short bans trying to post because the system is reading me as a spambot. (?)

So I guess I will cut this short until I find out what the hell is going on.

Let the thread die... I will drop the story into another thread on PCs then.
>>
>>20172906
You live a sheltered life. Now go fuck yourself.
>>
>>20173423
>Krav Maga Jewish girl
>Jiujitsu Midget
>Not starting a Fight Club or vigilante pack

I shucky ducky.


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