You are a Magical Girl, and you have always hated dreaming.It's not because you have a history of horrifically-violent nightmares that involve your heart getting ripped out by a smiling, giggling, pink-haired goddess gone insane. It's not because the fevered dreams you manage to get once in a blue moon do not even have the decency to fool you, even in your sleep, that you are more than your pitiful existence - putting you in such idyllic, storybook-like scenarios that it's near impossible to suspend any amount of disbelief. It has always been either of the two extremes - joyful, shiny-coated paradise or a screaming, ignoble death.
it should end
>>20437302No, the fact that you hate dreaming is that you never really could tell which is prophecy, which is fiction, and which is that last shot of vodka that you probably shouldn't have downed. Add to that, sometimes you wake up unable to tell when the dream has ended and the reality had begun - one of the reasons Mami had long started the habit of locking her bedroom door when you were sleeping over.This time, however, seems to be different.You are standing in front of a screaming Kharn, her eyes fully red. Not black, red. Blazing. A massive black chainblade in her hands, two meters long, the name MALAL engraved upon its length in jagged knife scratches. You dimly remember being responsible for that - her first command to you as your Warmaster. You see her snarl your name, the name she'd given you, with all the hate she can muster. And she can muster a lot.Souji is screaming curses at you, off the side. Cradling a limp, lifeless doll in his hands. Half his face and most of his lab coat coated a sticky crimson. You blink your eyes, and they focus on the ragged bundle in his grasp - and you see Misaka's lifeless head loll brokenly with every shaking sob her brother makes. Her throat torn open, revealing bone, leaking blood. Farther from them, the smoking wreck of a giant that had once protected you lies broken in the snow. Even further, a clump of flesh trailing vibrant green strands leads to what remains of a subordinate - one who remained loyal until you tore her apart.[1/2]
>>20437344>this is you
>>20437347>Kharn>following MalalNow, this is some heresy alright
nightmare time? sweet.
Are we holding a golden weapon in our nightmare?Is it the 50/50 attempt gone wrong?
>>20437347i don't like this dream, i don't like it at all!make it stop!
>>20437347The smile on your lips tastes of copper, of despair, of life, of death.It tastes of the flesh of fallen angels.Another snarl, and the monomolecular chain-teeth of Malal starts to chew air. It is curiously silent, despite the fact that you've heard it before, and it is as loud as a jet engine. It is then that Kharn launches herself at you, seemingly in slow motion, as if gliding in molasses.You have one moment to react.What do you do?
>>20437416[x] Wake up.Please let this be a dream.Please let this be a dream.Please let this be a dream.Please let this be a dream.Please let this be a dream.
>>20437416Put the gun to our head."Not today."
>>20437416Well, the last two times (once vs Kirika, and during Mami's flashback) we were in this sort of situation, we threw away the Golden Weapon...So I say we keep to that pattern and throw any Golden Weapon we might have away.Oh, and also -- dodge. And pray, I guess.
>>20437416WAKE UPWAKE UP WITH POWER OF THOUSAND SUNS
>>20437416Dodge the chainsaw, then attempt a counterattack.
>>20437416Smile and step forward to meet her, with our bare hands if necessary.
>>20437416Stop time, Disarm Kharn.Bitchslap Pinky.
>>20437436>throw golden weapon away>it bonks Kharn>Kharn is dead>pinkyjustasplanned.jpg
>>20437416Stand tall, square our shoulders and close our eyes while whispering "Thank You." Fuck you Pinky, we're not playing your game. I'd rather die than serve you, you fluorescent bitch.
>>20437416>i want to vote for taking chain teeth to the face>this is not happening, this is not happening, this is not happening, this is not happeningstep out of the way of the swing check what weapons we are using, if golden, drop it like it's hot.please oh please let this be a dream!
>>20437416[x]Timestop, rush inside her cutting range, and relieve her of her weapon arm. Judging from your previous kills you must be using the golden katana or possibly the gauntlets, so let's keep up the good work.
>>20437457>Bitchslap Pinky.Sounds like a good idea.
I knew this day would come again.>>20437302Yeah, we should totally stop being asleep now.
>>20437472I'm not so sure we're armed. If we go full Pinky waifu mode, I'm guessing that we're not really going to need weapons...
>>20437435Most certainly this."Not today pinky, not today."We'll never fall that far.
>>20437416Stop time. Punch Pinky. "Misaka is off-limits."
>>20437416Screw you Pinky. We may be the biggest fuck up of a Magical Girl the world has ever seen but we're not going to acquire a taste for the flesh of fallen angels. We are not going to kill our subordinate, we are not going to hurt Misaka, ever.Fuck you Pinky, we're either putting a gun to our head, one that isn't golden, or letting Kharn slice us open. We'll never be yours.
>>20437416If this is a dream, better end it ASAP.If this is real, a moment of reaclaimed self-control after some unexplainable rampage, we went full Flesh of Fallen Angels and should be be put down.Either way, it's suicide time.so basically this>>20437435
We can't show Pinky how much this upsets us. The more we seem affected by the deaths of our friends, the more at risk they'll be, and the easier it'll be for her to influence us.
>>20437512You know you love this kind of thing.
>>20437528No, you do.
>>20437507Telling Pinky who she can and cannot reduce to Vegemite only increases the chances of the yandere fallen goddess stalker spreading our friends evenly across a continent. >>20437302Deculture, this is a terrible way to set up my word doodles. Midori's all dead in this dream, where am i supposed to go from there.(i kid, nobody murder me)
>>20437557You should have seen it coming, Midori trips a lot of death flags.
There is moment when one should realise it's his turn to quit. And this is yours. So either let Kharn do the honors or end it yourself.As for last words, let's go with nostalgic sigh "Pancakes." it worked last time.Mental note: Malal is a 5 letter word.
>>20437507Why should she be? She wouldn't have been to the old Murderface.But honestly, letting Pinky know that Misaka's death would be one that would affect us terribly doesn't seem like a good idea.
There are two options, one: we're dreaming and need to wake up, and two: we've fallen into angel-ness and are having a moment of lucidity.Thankfully, the solution to both is the same. I mean, getting shot in the face woke us up last time, yes?Nothing can go wrong
>>20437582To be fair, Pinky seems somewhat indiscriminate in who all she wants us to kill anyway, so her getting tipped off to who we don't want to kill may not help all that much since we're killin' ERRBODY.
>Kharn magical girl>Malal>...pinky?what the flying fuck you guys are doing?>>20437528nice pic. at least there's something decent in these threads.
>>20437592However dark, there's still possibility that we actually lost conciousness and flipped out.[x] Stop time and run
>>20437602I'll assume you're just passing through.Pinky = "Bad End" Madoka.
>>20437416Put gun to head, pull trigger
>>20437602Imagine Madoka, add a good serving of Noir, a pinch of Pancakes, and a dash of 40k references. Stir thoroughly and garnish with lesbianism according to your personal preference.
Blow her legs off. Then arm Soji and give him revenge.
>>20437632>Imagine Madoka>and garnish with lesbianismredundancy much?>
>>20437602>Kharn magical girlYes the universe is a crossover of Puella Magi Madoka magical girl + noir + 40K elements (most often term only).Pic is Kharn.
>>20437623I know, it wasn't hard to figure out>>20437632exactly, an avalanche of nonsensical clusterfuck.just my opinion though.
>>20437435This. And failing us actually having a gun in our hands, >>20437461 instead.
>>20437652I continue to be surprised every time we come across evidence of heterosexuality. But it looks like it was a false alarm with Kharn, so that's alright.
>>20437673Kharn might just be smitten with whoever cooks for her.
>>20437673I won't believe it's a false alarm until there's compelling evidence to the contrary. I think she's just trying to remain in the closet about her being with an abrasive nerd.
"Time to finish my project that's due tomorrow! I'll just refresh /tg/ one last time, and...">MGNQWhelp, there goes my ability to be productive for the rest of the night. Thanks, Deculture.No, seriously, thanks for running this man. It's fucking awesome.
As much as I like Pinky, she can't be allowed to win. Not like this, not even in a dream. So either finish the job by putting a gun to your head or let Valnikov do it for you. Apply "Fuck you Pinky" or "Thank you" as necessary.
>>20437662It makes more sense if you've been here from the very beginning. Well, it doesn't, but somehow it's awesome regardless.Well, not gonna convince ya. Just let us be, we enjoy this mash-up wholeheartedly, you can go engage in your prefered form of fun instead. Peace.
>>20437416Kill them. Kill them all.
>>20437732No, Johny, you are the daemons!>noticed nameI see...
>>20437732I think we should kill them all too. We can score points with Pinky.
>>20437749I recommend drugs.
>>20437749But we'd lose QB-points!
>>20437749I also agree we should kill them. Things can hardly get any worse, and self preservation would be Murderface's base directive. And right now we're far more Murderface than Chiaki.
>>20437766This guy knows what's up
>>20437766Nobody wants those.
>>20437766>>20437773No, no, clearly murder is the solution.If you aren't on board, we need to kill you too.Kill the voices in your head after killing everyone else. It's the only way to be sure.
>>20437771Nah, Murderface knew her downward spiral would have to end at some point. And this looks exactly like the point.
>>20437471 >>20437448 >>20437461Time has not been kind to the Betrayer. Yes, she has the same terrifying fury that paralyzed everyone unfortunate enough to bring it upon themselves. Yes, she still could wield something that should not, by any means, be considered a weapon and more of an industrial tool that weighs one imperial ton. And yes, she is still fast, faster than the eye can see, faster than justice dealt with a trigger pull.But she is weak. She has grown soft, her sharpness dulled by being so far removed from active duty for far too long. Hesitation and mercy - the two things you have never seen in her eyes - is joined by fear. Were you not smiling already, this would have made your lips curl in amusement. In pity.In thanks.You close your eyes and open your arms, letting the golden katana fall from your grasp.Your first thought is that being torn apart by a chainblade nearly twice as tall as you doesn't really hurt all that much. [1/2]
>>20437766That settles it then! Shoot them all!
>Typical anti-quest monkey throwing shit.Wow, and I even said "just my opinion".
>>20437791You open your eyes and find yourself unable to move, or feel anything below your chest. One would have trouble doing so, after all, with most of their torso currently serving as the gory sheathe to a monster of a chainsaw weapon, its teeth inert.You lift up your quivering arms and reach towards your murderer. Tears streaking down her unnaturally beautiful eyes, exquisite in their strange coloration. Her mouth twisted in anguish as she feels your feeble touch stain her cheeks with Misaka's blood.You manage to thank her with what little breath you have left in your lungs, and she closes her eyes and nods. "I will take your skull," Kharn whispers. "I think I have earned it."You smile at this. She always had the strangest hobbies.You fall forward on your nerveless knees as she tears the massive chainweapon out of your torso. A flick of her wrist, and the beast of a sword roars into life, its killing edge wrought with many chewing teeth.The last thing you see before you wake up is the ground rushing up to meet you.
>>20437806asshole ground, punching us in the face again.
>>20437806Play a game of chicken with the ground.Murderface wins
>>20437806Ah, ground my old friend. We have been away from each other for far too long.
>>20437813Hello Chiaki! What's a nice girl like you doing in a dream like this?
>>20437813We Sperm Whale now?Or bowl of Petunias?
>>20437806>ground wants to fight!>beat it down with our head!
>>20437824>>20437825It's like we're going full Jack Sparrow.
>>20437825Well I think that Pinky wanted to fuck with our head, show us a possible way things could turn out.We flipped her the bird and that's how we ended up being reacquainted with you. It's been a while since I fell for you, how've you been doing lately?
>>20437838Oh, pretty good. Been pretty snowed under lately, but that's the way things fall I guess. Been up to much? Made any new friends? Is that why you don't visit me any more?!
>>20437806inb4 we wake upAfter we go bear hunting, it's time to hit the bottle and wash the memory of this night terror right out of our subconscious. Since we have a kohai, might as well share the details with her while we drown our sorrows.
>>20437829>Murderface used Headbutt!>Ground flinched!
Ground! So, at last we meet again for the first time... for the last time!You may have won the last 452 times, but this time I shall be victorious!
>>20437843I think I may have made friends, as much as someone like me can have them. I managed to patch things up between me and Mami which is good, my subordinate's doing okay, Misaka is excellent as always. I'm even doing okay with Kyoko, though me and Sayaka aren't that friendly. And then the whole Idol business, I try not to think about that.So yeah that's part of why I haven't visited you often, I'm trying to clean up my act a bit. They're expecting me of all people to be Warmaster. Don't worry we're still close, I'll probably visit you a lot sometime soon, with everything going okay something is going to go wrong and me and Mr. Kong are going to end up visiting you.
>>20437806>"I will take your skull," Kharn whispers. "I think I have earned it.">You smile at this. She always had the strangest hobbies.Now I'm wondering if she has a skull throne in her room.
and then someone wrote a cheesy love story between Chiaki 'Murderface' Matsuda and 'the ground'and they all lived happily ever after!yaaaaaay!
That was an interesting nightmare. I was kinda hoping for something different when Chiaki fell asleep last thread, but, hey, this is fine too.
>>20437876>I was kinda hoping for something different when Chiaki fell asleep last threadMidori licking Chiaki's soulgem?
>>20437883pinky licking our soulgem?
>>20437883I wonder what they taste like, considering they are YOUR SOUL!
>>20437874Include a bunch of 'I feel drawn towards you' puns and the whole thing would be golden.
>>20437868Oh, that's good. I just get a bit lonely is all. And when I get lonely I think odd thoughts... about how we should be together always...But enough about that! You better get back to your other friends. Because they'll last. Just know that I'll be here for you. Waiting.>>20437874 (Don't tempt me)
>>20437890They taste like souls.>>20437893>and the whole thing would be golden.>goldenmyfuckingside.jpg
>>20437895Well better not get addicted to them i guess
>>20437893Ground should be voiced by Morgan Freeman.It needs to have a certain gravity.
>>20437894Oh gods i'm reading that in GLaDOS's voice.
>>20437890Like jewelry. The stone parts just taste glassy, like crystal, a neutral flavor that doesn't really offend the tastebuds, but isn't exactly tasty. The metal parts probably taste metallic, and not very good.
>>20437906Jesus Christ how horrifying.
>>20437894Don't worry Ground I'll always come back to you. You know how often I hit rock bottom and you're always there for me. I think you should know how much you mean to me.
>>20437890it would likely not taste much of anything (except if you soak it in something, liquid has proven capable so far)i think the sensation would be similar to licking a glass marble with some sort of metal decorative encasing it.is all just speculation though.
>>20437806You open your eyes to an unfamiliar room - one that you recognize as one of the rooms that Kharn had granted you and your little party for the duration of your stay. You remember this with painful, annoying slowness, slower than you'd like. You shake your head and try to lift your head up off of the very comfortable pillow under your head - and it's then that you notice that you've apparently pulled the blankets up over your chest in your sleep, something you don't really remember doing. You also don't remember folding your jacket into a neat little pile on the bedside table, along with your shoes and glasses.You also don't remember getting into bed with your subordinate, who is sleeping the sleep of the damnably blessed, on her side and turned away from you. Her long green hair, unbound, spilling over her own pillow. It's not everyday you find yourself guilty of fraternizing with your subordinates, so you try to recount what just happened. You still remember your name, that's a good sign, and you think you know what happened for the best part of the last twenty-four hours.A quick, surreptitious check under the blankets confirms that Midori is still dressed. Well, she's taken her sneakers and socks off, but you're not sure if there's anyone who wears them to bed, anyway.It's then that someone knocks at the door leading to this room. Your room, which Midori seemed to have seen fit to infiltrate. Not that she did anything that would qualify as overstepping her boundaries, but..."Hey. Wakeup call, Matsudaface or whatever." An irritated voice, Souji's, snaps from behind the door - followed by a series of equally irritated-sounding knocking. "Hey, are you still alive in there?"What do you do?
What the flying fuck, guys. I leave for 20 minutes and y'all start trying to waifu the ground beneath our feet.
>>20437918"Are we ready to kill bears? Because I really need to kill coming"
>>20437918Wake up, get dressed, wash bad taste out of mouth with vodka.Wake up Green and ask her why she's in our bed.We gots ourselves some bears to hunt.
>>20437918No, I have apparently been turned into a zombie while I was asleep. the only known cure is removing blood from my alcohol system
>>20437935At least I'm down to earth.
>>20437920We know. Please leave.
>>20437918"No, call the morgue"deadpan voice
>>20437918Walk up to the door as quietly as we can. Shout "WHERE ARE MY PANTS!?" as loudly as we can, and swing the door open immediately. Watch carefully for where Souji's eyes go.
>>20437918>Your room, which Midori seemed to have seen fit to infiltrate. Oh, Chiaki, your memory is getting better, but still dropping some small details now and then...
>>20437918Reply. "Fuck you."Then wake Midori, be ready to smother her if she decides to make noise, and tell her to pretend to be a wall or something.
>>20437918I keep my soul in a pretty rock, so, by most definitions, No i'm not alive in here.What the fuck do you want.Also, i need labels on these doors. Soon.
>>20437918"Since i'm a magical girl, the answer should technically be 'no'. That said, I am awake."
>>20437918I'm alive, well technically being a Magical Girl I'm not alive, and it's just Matsuda. Me and Midori will be ready for bear hunting shortly.
>>20437918Just go open the door. Don't dress or anything.Not a fuck given.And give him the stare of doom until he goes away.
>>20437949This is tempting
>>20437918Help, I'm sober and I can't get drunk!
>>20437920Yeah, after thread 34 I couldn't resist anymore. Pinky reminded me too much of a certain other eldritch abomination with stalker tendencies.>>20437918"Still alive. Where's the vodka?"
>>20437949Can we punch him if he looks down?
>>20437962[X] This one.
>>20437918"Yes."Get dressed and open the door. No tact, all bluntness.
>>20437949This, maybe with a deadpan "You knocked?" afterwards.
>>20437962This is awesome. Let's go with this. Also, ask for vodka.
>>20437949This all of my this.
Kill them. Kill them all.
>>20437949I can support this as well. Chiaki might not have a well-developed sense of humor but I think it's developed enough for trolling Misaka's brother.
>>20437962Lets go with this.
>>20437918so Midori carried us to our room, put us in bed, set our stuff neatly on the table, got out of her own footwear and set down besides us on the bed and fell asleep."keep your pants on i will be out in a minute, hope you enjoyed the gifts."need to wake Midori up and explain that getting in to bed with your passed out sempai/sempai (which one is it?) is not something to pick up as a habit (yet?)."but thanks for taking me to my room."bear huntin time?!
>>20438017Or she's all like "This dickhead fell asleep on my bed. Ah, fuckit, i'll just collapse here next to her."
>>20437918Call him Doujinface or something.
>>20438017Technically the correct romanization is Senpai. But Japanese romanization is a clusterfuck anyway.
>>20438017If we are indeed in our own room, I suspect Kharn is the one that carried us here.The rest would still be Midori though.
>>20438017>midoriNo, we fell asleep in her bed for some reason, and she apparently decided that was an invitation to share body heat in the siberian cold, relatively platonically speaking.And then we forgot, because murderface is bad at memories.
>>20438017No, we collapsed in her bed and I'm guessing she came in, found us, removed our shoes and glasses, folded our coat, tucked us in, put a pillow under our head and then went to sleep fully clothed in her bed. Honestly she stayed within her bounds quite well this time. She did good.
>>20438028Actually, Japanese does have the nasal bilabial [m], as a realization of the phoneme /n/ before a plosive (/p/ or /b/). But their writing system doesn't include it, so while it's written 'Senpai' the word's actually spoken as 'Sempai'.Yay linguistics!
>>20438063fucking /tg/.i learn more shit here than anywhere else.they wouldn't have even told me this shit on /a/!
>>20438048She has acted quite appropriately. If we'd woken up to her holding either her or our soulgem with a guilty look on her face and flushed cheeks, THEN she would have been overstepping.
>>20438048>It's then that someone knocks at the door leading to this room. Your room, which Midori seemed to have seen fit to infiltrate.would lead me to believe someone moved us from Midori her room and into ours
Man. I am trying to draw The Murderface Experience themepark ride. This was supposed to be funny, but it is just turning out depressing!
>>20438113Chaiki is having a little bit of technical difficulties with her brain/memory at the moment. Please bear with us as we sort through this issue.
>>20438114This is a sign that you are experiencing the Experience. Carry forth in your noble mission.
>>20438114>Mr. Bones Wild Ridehope that helps!
>>20438139I remember this, please do this.
>>2043796 >>20437962 >>20437961You glance towards the door, before shaking your head and reaching for your glasses. Beside you, Midori seems to stir at Souji's racket, but she seems to settle back into her fitful sleep seconds later. Some people can sleep through anything, you think, as you rub the grit from your eyes before putting your glasses back on. The world coming back in sharp, clear focus.Another series of knocks, this time a bit more forceful, and it's then that you finally snap, replying rather sharply, and a bit more roughly than you'd like. Technically, you ARE alive, it's just that your contract's condensed your soul into a teardrop-shaped gem the size of a small egg. Because, you know, Magic. And Incubators have some sort of fetish involving jewels that apparently contain souls.Did you really have to jump down his throat for it, though? After all, you did tear out his little sister's own throat with your teeth.You blink at this, before shaking your head. No, that's...that was just a dream. Alcohol withdrawal symptoms, you tell yourself, remembering a lecture from Mami long ago. Horrible nightmares are one of them, and a sure sign that you need to get some amber restorative in you soon.Souji seems to take a moment to reply, as if taken aback, before snorting. "Whatever. You're due for the only hobby the yokels here have that doesn't involve drinking gallons of vodka. I'm supposed to get the two of you up top. Kharn and Misaka are already there, along with that weird robot of hers." He lets out the sigh of the massively-bereaved. "So yeah, I'd appreciate it if you get your magical ass in gear, I got research to do."[1/2]
>>20437918"Quiet, I'm trying to enjoy my porn here!"
>>20438114Pinky: Ooh! Ooh! This is my favorite part of the ride! This is where she forgets all about you and verbally abuses you!Midori: (unamused) I'm so fucking excited. Yipee.
"Since i'm a magical girl, the answer should technically be 'no'. That said, I am awake."
>>20438167Pink: What? You enjoy the bit where I use your intestines as a jump rope better?
>>20438156What a gentleman. You tell him to give you a few minutes to get ready."Don't take too fucking long. I'll be by the elevator, reading the porn you got me and shit." He snaps, before you hear his footsteps receding into silence.Seriously? This guy and Kharn? Nope, you're not seeing it. Not in a million years.You sit up on the bed, your tongue tasting foul in your mouth. You wince at the taste, but at least it's not something else. Beside you, Midori is still sleeping, quite peacefully at that.What do you do?
>>20438159>claim to be trying to enjoy porn of us and midori, in a room that only contains us, midori, and a comfy bed we're both in.I don't know what train you're on, but i'm reasonably sure as to it's lack of breaks.
>>20438156"Fuck. Can we do the other hobby, instead? The one involving massive amounts of vodka? I could use that."
>>20438178wait Midori up.Start off the day right with some vodka and OJ. We need the vitamin C!
>>20438156get your kit on, take a drop of the pure to fortify your morning then get your ass in gear.say nothing to Midori, don't even acknowledge her.
>>20438178Check the minibar for delicious alcohol. Mouthwash will work in a pinch.Then take a seat next to Midori's head and alternate mouthfulls and poking her until she wakes up.Then say: "Why are you in my bed?" as monotonically as possible.
>>20438178Wake up Midori, gently if at all possible. A few gentle shakes and telling her to wake up, we've got bears to hunt.Get dressed, head to the elevator.
>>20438178[x]Lick her soul gem
>>20438178Throw the covers off the bed and shout "It's bear time!" in her ear to wake her up.
>>20438178Wake Midori up gently. She has been nice enough to take care of us.Then get ready.
>>20438178Gently nudger her awa-Awww, who am I kidding? Poke her until she wakes up, then proceed to quickly dress. Maybe a gruff thank you for neatening up."Oh, and seeing as we spent the night together, I'll have to owe you breakfast for another time"
Well, oral sex wakes people up, right? That should work. Maybe have a swig of vodka before each lick?
>>20438178"Hey, midori, do you want to come bear hunting or sleep in?"Fuck, i dunno, do Callidi get their kicks from ultraviolence like all of the normal puella magi?
>>20438178Poke her until she wakes up."We're going on a bear hunt".Sing-song voice. Grin like a maniac.
>>20438178Rub her soulgem lightly. Thank her for trying to get along with Kharn.(No need to knock her out with a full lick here, guys)
>>20438178Take a swig of Kong or vodka to get the taste out of our mouth. The get dressed and wake up Midori.
>>20438178Poke Midori awake."Hey. Hey, hey. Heyheyhey. Bears."
>>20438178[x]Find something metal, and bang it against the wall above Midori's head until she wakes up. "Rise and shine, green. Hunting time."
>>20438178wake her up as gentle as we can, ask how we both got to this room.if she carried us here and put our stuff on the table then explain the finer points of not making a habit of sleeping in the same bed as your passed out sempai.can't really help it if they sleepwalk though...
Take Midori along with us, good time to see if she has any experience with guns. Even an illusionist needs to know how to handle guns. "You think this is real. Well it is"
As much as I am all for poking the girl awake while chanting "Bear Hunt" like a deranged 5 year old, mayhap a calmer course is best. Try running your hands through her hair a few times. Or lightly shake her while calling her name. She did take care of us last night, even if we weren't awake. And Chiaki's panties are still on. This calls for positive reinforcement.
Wake her up as gently as possible, whatever that might imply for Murderface. get increasingly forceful if necessary.
>>20438178Go and peek at Kharn's room. Because pic related.
>>20438343>whatever gently implies for Murderface.Probably, we only empty half an uzi magazine into the ceiling instead of the full mag.
>>20438361Yeah, but not shown are the ROBOT DEATH LIMBS.Which are best bits
>>20438257If I recall correctly, this happens to be Midori's room that we passed out in. We diplomacied her into opening the door and forgiving us, and then Kharn took her for Takoyaki cooking lessons. We just walked on in and passed out on her bed. As such, Chiaki should thank her for letting us stay over, and keeping us warm.
>>20438328>>20438343Agreed. Her little jealous hissy-fit of yesterday aside, Midori has done a good job. She even carried Chiaki to her room, tucked her into bed, and climbed into the bed with us....without removing our clothes or hers.Being gentle (or what passes for "gentle" where Chiaki is concerned) is the order of the day.
>>20438202This with a side order of>>20438215
>>20438375I agree.She's hard for us 24/7.
>>20438369Midori just did pretty okay. She didn't overstep any of the boundaries of our relationship, she tucked us in and even made sure we stayed warm by sharing a bed and didn't even use that as an excuse to cuddle or try to "share body heat". She deserves some positive reinforcement, Uzis are not positive reinforcement. Gentle waking, maybe even head pats. We might not be good at this, but we can at least try.
>>20438382Honestly, we don't know if she carried us to our room, or if Chiaki is just confused and thinks that Midori's room is hers now after passing out in Midori's bed.I'm banking on the latter, but we'll see.
>>20438202>>20438215>>20438390The Sass. It can not be contained! We've gone critical captain!
>>20438214 >>20438205 >>20438202You let your stockinged feet dangle off the edge of the bed before leaning forward, holding your head in your hands. For some reason, the nightmare's not fading as quickly as the rest, taking on the kind of recall that your stalemate with Pinky had. Usually you forget the little details easily enough. You remember Pinky ripping your heart out, you remember shooting her right between the eyes. But you don't know where you were, back then. What lead to such a finish. Hell, you're not even sure what caliber and make the gun in your hand was back then, or if the firearm itself was gold in the first place.Well, Kharn murdering you isn't as disturbing as it should be. Not as such.It's how you let yourself go completely out of control that bothers you the most.You lever yourself off of the bed and shuffle towards the room's privies, where a sink, a shower and a toilet is in rather pristine, if unused condition. You glance at yourself in the mirror, before reaching up to pull the entire thing aside - revealing some basic toiletries. You find a bottle of mouthwash, and you remember reading something about how the mouthwash in these parts are used by the majority of the population as surrogate alcohol when there's no vodka left to drink.You twist the cap open and take a healthy pull from it, wincing at the strong minty taste as you gargle with the stuff. You spit it into the sink, careful to watch for any strands of crimson floating.Nothing. So it was just a nightmare, then.You take another pull, and this time you force it down your throat.You manage to hold it in for a few seconds before dry-heaving over the sink, coughing the fire that seems to have suddenly filled your lungs.Christ. Never again. You'll never be desperate enough for surrogate alcohol.[1/2]
>>20438421Silly Matsuda! Mouthwash and other sanitary products that contain alcohol also contain other various chemical compounds intended to cause gagging and be generally impossible to keep down. That way, nobody can really abuse those items and those companies can avoid hefty fines and PR nightmares!
>>20438421>not checking that it DOES have alcohol firstSome don't, you need to be careful of that.
>>20438481wouldnt be surprised if those fuckers just cut the middleman and gargled vodka in the mornings.
>>20438501Please, this is a well-funded secret war machine research base.They use mint schnapps.
>>20438470>sanitary products that contain alcohol also contain other various chemical compounds intended to cause gagging and be generally impossible to keep down. Odd, I'm pretty sure I was seeing some of local... umm... minotities drinking Windex on regular basis without having any problems keeping it down.
>>20438512That's fucking Windex. Window cleaner isn't usually classified under the same regulations as mouthwash.Also, >Insert obligatory Greek windex joke here
>>20438523Haha, that's freaking awesome!
>>20438523That is fucking awesome. Excellent job.
>>20438523It's so beautifully depressing. I love it.
>>20438512adaptation.if my 8 year old self could keep biting my nails despite mum covering them in that fucky repellent shit, i'm pretty sure nigs gonna continue to nig -no matter the flavor.
>>20438523The pancakes are always kept juuuust out of reach, arent't they?
>>20438523That is seriously fucking unsettling.You're good
>>20438512Windex? Are you sure they're still alive? I'm not even sure if windex contains alcohol.
>>20438523IT'S GLORIOUS.Nice work.
>>20438532>if my 8 year old self could keep biting my nails despite mum covering them in that fucky repellent shitOh man, I did the same thing. It never tasted that horrible to me.
>>20438512I'm pretty sure they were just doing the "drinking kool-aid out of windex bottles" thing that kids do to try and prove how tough they are, since the real stuff is going to eat a hole in your stomach and you can't even get drunk off it anyway. And it's more expensive than cheap booze in the first place!
>>20438512That's because if you swallow window cleaner it's your own damn fault.
>>20438523Very authentic. The chin on idol is giving me some Franken Fran vibes... not sure if that's intended, but it certainly adds to the depressing feel.
>>20438523>WTF is with Pinky's hand?>stare>slow, dreadful realizationDear fucking God, every time I look I find something new to be disturbed by. It's like I'm really seeing Chiaki's life story.
>>20438523There's something about mounting a giant bottle of Vicodin on a merry-go-round that's just delightfully macabre.
>>20438532There's a pretty big difference in tasting what's the equalavent of nail polish remover, and actively drinking windex. And that difference is going to put you in the hospital. :|
>>204385237/10 would ride again
>>20438555The ability to taste that repellent shit is genetic. Some people are more resistant to it than others.
>>20438523is that supposed to be kharn or pinky on the right
>>20438421You step out of the bathroom after taking a moment to compose yourself and wash your face, and when you do, Midori seems to already be waking up, sitting up slowly and gently rubbing the sleep out of her eyes."Mnnh--? What was that...?" She murmurs, her voice still thick with somnolence, and it's with a slow blink of her crimson eyes that she regards you with mild confusion. Earlier, she'd been looking at you with those same eyes with something akin to hate. A bit later, you'd seen them wet with tears. A little more after that, contrition.Midori has pretty eyes, you decide. But that's beside the point, really.You ask her what she's doing in your room. Of course, you appreciate what she's done, and nobody has really ever picked up after you besides Mami so that's nice - but sleeping in the same room as your boss isn't really something subordinates do, right?Midori blinks at you again, before managing an awkward smile."N-no, that's not something subordinates really do, sempai." She shakes her head. "It's...it's just that you're in my room. I managed to teach Miss Valnikov how to make takoyaki a few hours ago, and I thought a nap would be alright. I found you here, in my room, and..." She frowns, slightly. "...it looked like you were having a nightmare. You know, twitching in your sleep, mumbling, turning back and forth. I was going to leave you alone and use the other room, but I thought that it'd be better if I at least slept beside you. I find that it helps with nightmares, and if anything, I'd have been here in case anything happened."[2/3]
>>20438421Drinking mouthwashClassy murderface.
>>20438563Not really aiming for Franken Fran specifically. Just going for the "Crappy fairground animatronic" look.The writing on the pill bottle, incidentally, isCODEINEThe pills would hold the pain back for a while.
>>20438609oh.....uh... thanks.That's... what normal people say in these situations, right?
>>20438609And yet something did happen. Thanks for nothing Midori. Bet you she can't even dream dive.
>>20438557Ethnical minorities (gypsies and such), not minors (kids). Yes, I'm pretty sure it's actual Windex.
>>20438609>I was going to leave you alone and use the other room, but I thought that it'd be better if I at least slept beside you. I find that it helps with nightmares, and if anything, I'd have been here in case anything happened.So sweet.Use new skill: awkward hug.
>>20438627Protip for those new to the quest: If the post has [2/3] at the bottom, then you don't get to give input.
>>20438608Is Faust.She never really struck me as the type to take "capturing your heart" non literally.
>>20438609"Not the best idea, Midori. Not the best idea. Mami learned pretty fast to lock her doors, when I'm around."
>>20438637ah, the hands confused me. they look an awful lot like kharn's
>>20438637"Your heart is mine, Homura-chan. It always was. But I took a little of your left lung as well, as interest."
>>20438655Yeah. I cannot into Madoka gloves.
>>20438636really, it's more of an [x/y]Yahk Deculture and all that, but his estimates are worse than windows file transfer utility.(<3, De.)
>>20438636But we can still throw out ideas.>>20438682I just assume it's a transition label. Update 2 on one side, update 3 on the other.
>>20438682>Yahk Deculture and all that, but his estimates are worse than windows file transfer utility.Nonsense. The only thing worse that windows file transfer utility is Mayan doomsday countdown.
>>20438642To be fair, we don't know WHY Mami locked her doors. Was it to keep Chiaki out.. Or to keep her IN?
>>20438637This has just given me a terrible, terrible idea.
>>20438609Wow, this is actually... cute and sweet.
>>20438697>I just assume it's a transition label. Update 2 on one side, update 3 on the other.Hm. I suppose that does make a bit more sense than the Glorious Overlord doing 30 threads without ever quite getting the hang of the character limit.
>>20438631I wasn't saying that only kids did it, but that it was something stupid and kid-like to do in faking that. They definitely weren't drinking the real thing, unless they wanted to make a trip to the hospital for eroded stomach lining.
>>20438631Hmm. Next time my friend insists on making a Gypsy character, I'll make him take some sort of poison resistance feat. Thanks /tg/!Polite sage for more off topic than usual.
>>20438609It's then that she looks at you curiously."It's not that there's anything wrong with two girls sleeping in one bed, is it, sempai?" Her frown deepens, before she shakes her head. "Look, I draw porn of you, sempai, and admittedly I like the idea of sleeping with you, but it's not all I think about. I can be concerned about my own boss' welfare too without wanting to jump her bones every chance I get, can't I?"You have no reply to that, but the expression on your face must have been telling enough that she lets out a sigh, a resigned smile on her face."It's fine, sempai. Nothing to worry about." Midori covers her mouth in a yawn, before stretching her arms over her head. "I guess it's time for us to kill cute, fluffy bears for sport and pleasure?" The green-haired girl pulls what looks like a yellow rubber band from her wrist, before reaching behind her to gather her hair into a ponytail. Two, three snaps, and what was once a long, thick mass of green is tied up neatly. "I think shooting animals is pretty cruel, sempai, but I'll try anything once. We're in Siberia, after all."You manage to nod at this, stepping into your shoes. You should probably ask Kharn if she has any boots to lend you - you doubt heels would be useful much in treading snow. The last thing you want to happen is you eating dirt while getting chased by irate bears.You pull on your jacket and zip the front up. A shake of your right wrist, and your Shield manifests, clamping onto your right arm, over the sleeve of the bulky black garment that'll keep you from becoming a meat popsicle later. You're not planning on meeting Pinky anytime soon, but you'll risk it if there's an emergency.[3/4]
>>20438724Well here's a tip for you.They do drink it, the supermarket I worked at had to lock our cleaning supplies up because the local ethnicities decided to drink it, they don't go to the hospital because they either don't care or don't have the money and they drink that because it is easier to steal or purchase when drunk than actual alcohol.And the chemicals in them do screw you up worse than alcohol.Same thing as spray paint because it kills brain cells very fast along with your internal organs.
>>20438769Hehe she thinks they will be cute.I admit to liking bears a bit much given how deadly they are but it's a stretch to really call them cute.
>>20438773> they don't go to the hospital because they don't have the moneyAMERICA
>>20438769After a few more moments of awkward silence and waiting for Midori to finish preparing, you and your subordinate finally exit the room, your subordinate closing the door behind the both of you. You make your way towards the elevator, where true to his word, Souji is waiting - and rather impatiently, at that. Fiddling with a smartphone in his hands."Took you long enough." The white-haired director says after a moment, a smirk on his suddenly very punchable face. "What, she ask for seconds, or something?" He nods towards Midori, who has the decency to go a hot crimson at the young man's implications.This...this is probably what someone having an illicit affair feels like.How do you respond?
>>20438609>i thought she carried us to our room.>my bad!awkward gratitude time!>and someofecwhat the hell is ec captcha?>results range from motorbikes to helicoptersok, we need to inventory some of those.
>>20438769You object to killing giant robots?Also, have you seen my anti-tank rifle anywhere?
>>20438806She had more helpings last night then you'll get in this life. How's your wrist?
>>20438806With a fist.Into his arm."I won't miss next time, Doujinface"
Personally, having done a quest-ish thing on /m/ a while back, I found the comment field unable to hold all my text. And then you submit 1500 characters, start adding some more story as inspiration continues, and end up repeating the process. I find Deculture's post count uppage to be amusing and suspenceful at the same time. Denfinite "Oh, gee, there's more? Yay!" moments. Keep on questing, Deculture!
>>20438806"What put you in such a bad mood? Sprain your wrist?"
>>20438806Can we break a finger, please? Pretty please?
>>20438806No for some reason I just seem to attract other girls in my sleep, possibly be due to not being a basement dweller or maybe it's the glasses?
>>20438806Inform him, in excruciating detail, of exactly how we will flay the veins and arteries out of his living flesh, and knit them into a lovely crimson funeral veil for his girlfriend, if he ever again implies that either of us is taking advantage of things in such an unprofessional way.All the while smiling cordially.
>>20438769>"I think shooting animals is pretty cruel, sempai, but I'll try anything once. We're in Siberia, after all.">"I'll try anything once."Girl, if it ever comes to pass that Chiaki actually becomes intersted in you two getting intimate, you might yet regret these words... because our collective hivemind can be very, very creative.
>>20438840Ha. Yes. I like this. Second.
>>20438806I forgot to turn off my swag. Fortunately there is a shortage of girls otherwise I'd be covered in them
Alternatively we can say that once we forgot to turn off swag.And the next morning we woke up covered in bitches
>>20438815this. then this>>20438840
>>20438847Case in point:>>20438846
>>20438806Start chuckling, then laughing then just start rolling on the floor laughing, barely able to breath. You actually think I'm capable of anything even vaguely resembling a physical relationship, romantic or otherwise with someone?I'm not sure what's more depressing, that you thought something like that, that it's completely false, or that we happen to be in the same boat relationship wise for completely different reasons.
>>20438806Maybe the three of us and your wrist could go on a double date sometime. Now, unless you wish to discuss my 'magical ass' some more, I have alcohol to drink and bears to kill. We'll leave you to the 'research materials' I brought you.
>>20438840Thirding. We should get another gift for Souji: wrist-braces for carpal-tunnel syndrome sufferers.
>>20438806Oh god.These two, definitely:>>20438815>>20438840
>>20438806Grab him roughly by the throat and bring his face closer."I don't care what you say about me but if you are disrepectful with one of my subordinate again, I'll break your knees with a hammer."Release him."Is that perfectly understood, shounen?"
>>20438842This.Calmly, casually, break a bone. Say, "So where's the party?" Then grab the next fingre in line.
>>20438806something along the line of him getting his mind out of the gutter because in the real world 2 girls in one room doesn't always end like some cheesy porn film. oh and call him doujinface aswell.
>>20438897>Satsuki crying outside the windowEvery time
>>20438883Yep, we definitely need to start referring to him as Doujinface.
>Calling Souji a "Shounen". >When he's obviously a "Cherry Boi".
>>20438880>>20438846>>20438833Don't threaten. Either hurt him or laugh at him, but don't say we'll do things then not do them.
>>20438882>>20438842Sure, if you want to get Misaka mad at us, but more importantly, further piss off the person who is going to be controlling the upcoming experiments that will either let us use the Golden Weapons or will make our nightmare come true. Not to mention we're not GRU, we're supposed to be more professional.
"Aww. Poor Soji didn't get any now that I'm here?"
Hmm, speaking of. Wonder what'd happen if Doujinface got his hands on the doujin of us.
>>20438902>Satsuki crying outside the windowwho?
>>20438921So...Shut the fuck up, nerd and lead the way?
Seconding the "Doujinface" and "Sprained your wrist?" suggestions. And no physical violence. He's Misaka's brother, which makes him almost like family as much of a jerk as he may be.
>>20438932>implying he didn't already
>>20438921Pretty much everyone in the quest we've met so far has fully expected us to injure or maim anyone who even slightly annoyed us. We could be getting away with FAR more then we have been.
>>20438921Hey even Kharn was amazed we only insulted him to begin with.She probably expected us to shoot him in the dick or something
Yup, insult/troll/humiliate him all we can, but no violence.
>>20438840This. No hurting Misaka's brother but return his insult with another.>>20438911Oh great, now you've done it. I was in perfect Noir mode until that P&SwG reference and now the boombox in my head will play "Fly Away" every time Chiaki and Midori start killing bears.
>>20438950Temporary, yes. In long, run it's better to be "nice" (or w/e pases for Murderface-nice).
>>20438921>or will make our nightmare come true.Implying he wants to die. Some people aren't retarded enough to let grudges get in the way of work.
>>20438952I say we shoot him in the foot next time he mouths off. Or if he treats Misaka badly.
>>20438989>I say we shoot him in the foot next time he mouths off.No. That's overreacting, given that he's Misaka's brother and possibly Kharn's boyfriend/crush.>if he treats Misaka badly.Now, THAT would warrant shooting an extremity.
>>20438950>>20438952But is that really going to fly when we end up injuring the Director of QB's R&D facility?Not just some nobody employee of the company, or a low-ranking Magical Girl, but someone that's actually valuable to QB.>>20438975>retarded enough to let grudges get in the way of work.Oh but we seem to be well on the way to that.
>>20438989Let's do that, but with rubber bullets.That way he won't get any time off work.
>>20439013Nope, that's just the "GRIMDERP" chucklefucks crawling back out of the woodwork.
By the way, I proposehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ryzm-Slxuroas Doujinface's theme?Opinions?
>>20438962I wa-a-ant you-u-u... ~
>>20439013Ok, ok, we'll just break his leg then. He can still work with one functional leg.
No threatening violence, just threaten to spike his skin lotion with jalapenos.
>>20439022>Kharn thinks we've shot her boytoy>"It's okay, we're using rubbers.">Crack manic grin
>>20439013No, we're responding to his dick waving with our metaphorically larger dick.We should remind him that if these experiments fail we'll be ripping his limbs off and shoving them down his neck for all of these comments. And we're gunning for him first.
>>20439031Doujinface theme - troll edition>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBeAjISBb2U
>>20439041This actually seems like a good middle-ground between old Murderface and the more reasonable Chiaki pranking style we're moving towards.I suggest we 'requisition' a bunch of rubber bullets from somewhere as a way of telling off people we don't want to actually injure/kill.
>>20439036Still having the thing for cripples? You sure are hopeless...
Well, our reputation is plenty violent right? I think we need to only make threats when absolutely necessary. And never a threat we won't carry out. If we boast too much, it'll weaken that reputation and our status. Whereas, if we deadpan while informing someone of violence we will visit upon them, and then remain absolutely calm as we carry it out, we maintain our rep, and at the same time should be able to threaten people by merely looking at them.
>>20439057Funny, but still bad idea.First - we might accidentally our DEagle brand DEagle instead of gun with rubber bullets and consequences would never be the same.Second - we might be socially retarded, but we are well versed in arts of gun-fu and take it too seriously to even attempt turning it into joke.
>>20439049>And we're gunning for him first.No, we'd be gunning for Kharn or Misaka first.Probably Misaka, so that she can't summon Tiny Pete.
>>20438806[x] Kick him casually in the balls, then press elevator button.Even HE wouldn`t be wussy enough to mention to his sister or kharn that a girl actually kicked him in the balls.
>>20439144HEY! Not cool! Kharn still needs those!
>>20439114We have a reputation for "interrogating" people in such a way that the clean up crew needs to take down decorations made of our prisoners insides.I don't think that we particularly give a shit about proper gun handling towards people we dislike given this fact.
>>20439173So what? We're also a professional.Back to reddit, grimderp-er.
>>20439168[x] Kick him even harder vor the mental Image of his balls slapping Kharn`s Abdomen as they do.. the unspeakble deed.
>>20439187Actually I normally try to avoid grimderp because it is just stupid but in this case rubber bullets allow us to stay Chiaki and shoot people but show that we aren't murderface anymore and do it in a non lethal way.That and this prick just deserves it
>>20439187>Back to reddit, grimderp-er.Remarks like that are the fist step to another shitstorm.It also makes you look like a fag.Cease at once.
>>20439187>Back to reddit, grimderp-er....Not the guy you replied to, but how about going yourself back to /v/?
>>20439210I propose a topic change. Which gun are we going to use for bear hunting, and what are we equiping Misaka and Midori with?We should definitely try shield pot luck at least once, we might get something explosive. Which would be fantastic.
>>20439208>That and this prick just deserves itThat applies just as much to Murderface. She was heading towards a forced retirement before she lost her memory and tried to start being a better person.
>>20439231> we might get something explosive. Which would be fantastic.We want bear steak, not stew.
Also, autosage after only 4 hours. Fan Fucking Tastic guys.Why all the shitposting today? We get a bunch of new people or something?
>>20439194>[x] Kick him even harder vor the mental Image of his balls slapping Kharn`s Abdomen as they do.. the unspeakble deed.>balls slapping abdomenNow I swear there is something wrong with that mental picture. Though I imagine Kharn could get quite acrobatic...
>>20439235True but we are playing from the perspective of Murderface who doesn't particularly like this guy and has been trying to deal with people without resorting to violence for quite a while.A little release would do her good.
>>20439231>usbattleship cannon>Misakaportable, weaponized tesla coil>midoriheavy machine gun
>>20439235Too bad, we're the boss now dog
>>20439231Pipebombs.Remember the Fishing-Scene in Crocodile Dundee? Its like that only with bears.
>>20439235Absolutely. This guy gets it.
>>20439231Knife only.No magic.Final destination.
>>20439261>>20439252Small time. We are wrestling our bear to death.>>20439236haha, magical girls trying to stamp out heterosexuality
>>20439229Ignore him>>20438806Just tell him to fuck off
>>20439250We'll get to blow off steam by hunting bears.
>>20439257Which carries with it certain expectations of behavior. Besides, we're only a Warmaster-in-training, we aren't the boss yet.
>>20439248Probably that it would require him to have very low hanging testicles among other things.
>>20439290The only thing QB cares about is results, not how they are obtained. Try again please.
>>20439305But the cat also prefers collateral damage be kept to a minimum as well; lots of it is bad for his business.You try again...
>>20439305Results includes not losing productivity due to injured employees, or loss of productivity due to dead employees. And he's already said that he prefers lower collateral damage.
>>20439298>>20439248>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5SZzFaAZyY&feature=player_detailpage#t=24sYou guys were saying..?
From Deculture's twitter:"Blargh, had to run out for a bit to get medicine! I'm back now, though, typing up the next post!"
>>20439348I hate you for this.
>>20439424Hush, sweety. No dreams, only tears now.
>>20439348>That doctor's rant about the Bloodsucker being a loliconWe totally need to hassle Doujinface with that at some point. Maybe during the bear trip.
>>20439508Or we give him heaps about being a siscon, or both
>>20439248Wait, how acrobatic could Kharn actually be?
>>20439540No. No sullying Misaka!
>>20439540If he is, Cherry-boy is in for a serious disappointment. Misaka is a good girl.
>>20438840You are not the sharpest knife in the drawer when it comes to backtalk, that much you're willing to admit. You're not given to insults and verbal posturing, although coarse language comes easily to you enough to earn Mami's disapproval in that respect. Your idea of a scathing retort pretty much involves hurting the other party hard enough and fast enough that they end up in a curled fetal position on the floor, unable to make any more wisecracks due to all of the hurting. And the pain. And the bleeding.But you remind yourself that those days are long past you, now. You're not just a Vindicare anymore - you're a Warmaster-in-training, and you can't operate with the same kind of parameters as you did back then, soul-crushingly depressing as that sounds. Things must be handled with tact, with finesse, with utmost consideration. You've done a very good job with Midori, earlier, no reason why you can't handle this jerkass in a labcoat in the same way.You give him a thin smile, one that barely reaches your eyes, before you ask him if the reason he's in such a bad mood is from all the masturbating he's doing. With the porn you brought him, you mean.Midori, seemingly having flinched in advance for the sudden act of violence that you've apparently decided against, slowly opens her eyes, before looking at you and then at Souji. As if unbelieving that the young man was still standing, and you not shooting off his kneecaps or something.[1/2]
>>20439508>>20439540[x] Kick him casually in the balls[x] Press elevator button[x] While the elevator is going up and Accel-kun is squirming on the floor ask him in a indifferent voice: "So.. since when are you lusting after your younger sister?"Why bully Midori, if we can bully Accel-kun.
>>20439586>Things must be handled with tact, with finesse, with utmost consideration.>you ask him if the reason he's in such a bad mood is from all the masturbating he's doing. With the porn you brought him, you mean.I love Chiaki's concept of tact. So, so much.
>>20439586>not shooting off his kneecaps or something.We reserve that only for very special people.
>>20439586YES! We showed restraint. Mami will be so proud.
and then she kicks him in the nads.
>>20439626Actually, it would be cool remark if we got to phrase it properly."What's up Midori? You were worried I'd shoot his legs off. C'mon now, I wouldn't do THAT to just about anyone, as of recent I've decided to save that only for people that are special to me."We'd get to tease Midori a little and the nerd would have no idea what's going on.
>>20439675So, we get more pancakes the better we behave?I think that might be the motivator Chiaki needs…>Captcha: for foriteeYes, Inglip, we'll do it for forty pancakes!
No-ones dead, dying, or trying to kill us.This is pretty much a new level of tact for us.
>>20439698>InglipOh dear, I've almost forgotten of our mysterious wise Lord.
>>20439586". . ." Souji scowls at you in stony silence, before letting out a derisive snort as he punches the call button for the elevator. The huge metal doors sliding open with the noise of metal grating against metal, and you follow him in, Midori at your heels. A couple of button presses and ID authorization, and you're well on your way back to the surface, machinery grinding underneath your feet as you are brought slowly up from the subterranean levels.Souji is...strangely quiet during this elevator ride, for some reason. A bit disappointing, as you were expecting a return volley. Not that you don't mind giving this snide verbal sparring thing a break, of course. You're much more acquainted with the more direct forms of conflict."...Thank you for taking care of Misaka." You hear the young man say this as he sighs. "I heard from Kyuubey how she considers you her big sister. Using her as a sniper in a retirement mission notwithstanding, I'm glad someone's looking out for her in that hick town." He then turns to look at you, the smirk gone from his face. "We started off on the wrong foot, and that's fine. We're not here to make friends. But I was brought up to give thanks where it's due, and you deserve it as far as my little sister is concerned."You blink at this, and nod after a moment. Not that he really needed to thank you, of course. If anything, it's Misaka who's been taking care of you, not the other way around. Still, maybe there's something more to this guy--[2/3]
>>20439721Praise the Lord for his wisdom!>Captcha: his ecilisal…and his ecilisal?
>>20439735"Don't get any ideas, though. I still think you're a stupid choice for Warmaster." Souji turns away from you, hands in his lab coat's pockets. "Hell, they can reinstate Kharn, force her out of her retirement, and she'd still do the job ten times better than you."--or not. You're a horrible judge of character, Chiaki Matsuda.What do you do? Seriously, this guy...Ask him about his relationship with Kharn.Ask him about Kharn's retirement.Ignore him and wait until you get back to the surface.
>>20439745[X]Ask him about Kharn's retirement.Then[X]Ask him about his relationship with Kharn.We need to know, in case this might be important later.
>>20439745>[x]Ask him about his relationship with Kharn.
>>20439745"So, are you two actually bonking, or am I just imagining things?"
>get my internet back>MGNQ is on>about to find out more about Souji/Kharn relationshipDecu, I am warning you.
>>20439745>>Ask him about Kharn's retirement.Also tell him he's not invited to the VODKA VICTORY PARTIES.
>>20439745"So... are you banging Kharn or what?"
>>20439745>[x]Ask him about Kharn's retirement.Point out that even if your memory is somewhat lapsing at times, you're pretty sure that Kharn decided to retire on her own. And that you weren't exactly aiming for the positions, but obviously your mutual boss QB knows better, so maybe he could ask him.
>>20439745>[X]Ask him about his relationship with Kharn.We're in an enclosed, most likely reinforced, space with a guy who's been insistently dickish to the person who's a close friend of (and almost considered family by) his little sister. Time to be awkward....Actually, come to think of it, that could explain Souji's issues. His little sister sees us as a sibling, and his maybe-girlfriend obviously cares quite a lot for us. Maybe he feels like we're taking his place in the lives of all the people he cares about.
>>20439785>no victory partiesSeriously, this guy is a dick. Ask him about Kharn's retirement. Becasue going behind Kharn's bad seems to be a Bad Idea.
>>20439745sure sounds like he thinks highly of KharnAsk him about Kharn's retirement.lets dig up history... oh and,Ask him about his relationship with Kharn.not as important but we must know, its only natural to be curious about it right?
>>20439745"Hmpf. Fine. No more porn for you."
>>20439745he's not treating us fairly at all.doesn't even matter that we're Warmaster IN TRAINING.that is a long way for us to go still and he's already drawing his own conclusions.what a dick.
>>20439745"Y-You don't get any ideas either. I-It's not like I'm asking for your approval. Just do your job, baka!"In over-the-top tsundere acting tone.Followed by deadpan. "Is that just like in your chinese cartoons?"
>>20439745Mutter "That makes two of us."Unfortunately, we're stuck with each other so we may as well learn to get along. What can you tell me about Kharn's retirement? I was elsewhere at the time, so I haven't heard much about what happened.(Since sharing our lifestory and the fact our memory is swiss cheese with all and sundry really isn't the best plan)
>>20439745[x]Ignore him and wait until you get back to the surface.We have to work with him, whether we like him or not. The less we interact with him, the less we'll be tempted to punch him in the face and disappoint Mami.
>>20439839I'm tempted to agree with this.
>>20439839I like this one.
>>20439745"So what's sleeping with a retired Warmaster like?"
>>20439839This is too hilarious NOT to do.
>>20439745First:[x] Inform him you think it's a poor choice as well, all things considered. You, Warmaster? Please. If the post hadn't been awarded by nomination, you'd have turned it down. You have no idea what the entirety of the Offico is thinking.Then:[x]Ask him about Kharn's retirement.Finally:[X]Ask him about his relationship with Kharn.
>>20439837Given our reputation as Murderface, and Kharn's past performance as Warmaster, his opinion is kind of borne out.And some people want to bank on our reputation, or even reinforce it.
>>20439839....I detect a strong scent of HUE, here.Is Papa Home?
>>20439839ALL OF MY THIS
>>20439839Oh god! This!
>>20439783Someone looks potentially jealous.
>>20439839We might not have reached the level of sarcasm necessary to pull this off yet.This is higher level sarcasm and we just figured out what a tone other than deadpan was a week ago (if that).Maybe we should work up to this.
>>20439902Baka, etc.I don't want to lose out on best girl ;_;
>>20439675B-b-back dat ass up!
>>20439898It makes sense>>20439839This like the fist of an angry god
>>20439903He threw the ball, we just have to hit it. Let's give it a try.
>>20439913Sooner or later something will happen with Kharn and make you despair. You can't hide.
>>20439698I get the impression that Mami approves of our effort to become a better person and that seeing us try makes her happy.Perhaps Mami rewarding us with pancakes when we do good is the easiest road to redemption. It's like us patting Misaka on the head and telling her she's a good girl; positive reinforcement. But in the case of Mami and Chiaki: it's pancakes and hugs.>>20439861Voting for this...because I want MOAR background on Kharn.
>>20439050That was painful to listen to. Why would you do that?
>>20439839Seconded, thrirded, and fourthed. This is the perfect way to respond to him after he insulted us, then thanked us; it lets him no that we appriciate it but nothings changed.
"Too bad your opinion is worth shit. Now shut up. I really can't wait to hunt bears with my bare hands. I want to punch cute animals until I can drink their brains directly from the skull."
>>20439964because you tripfag yourself at night
>>20439927I got this from the cam I hid in Miyori's room. *trollface*>>20439964My best guess: Pinky or some other horrible thing is going to show up and Kharn will become victim of the Worf Effect.
>>20439993>Kharn retired because she has 5 golden weapons.
>>20439791 >>20439785 >>20439758He blinks at your question, before chuckling to himself, shaking his head as he does so. "What, you have to ask about that? You, of all people, want to ask about what you did to Valnikov Kharn's career?"He turns to look at you, as if trying to see whether or not you're joking - and you're pretty sure you're not. You frown, your eyes narrowing behind your glasses, and you ask your question again. Never could tell with these science-faring types."Wow. You...you don't really know, do you? Didn't Kyuubey tell you--no, no. Of course he wouldn't have told you. Probably didn't want his next Warmaster feeling guilty and shit." He raises his hands in mock surrender. "Nevermind, I get it. But really, if you want to know? You should probably ask Kharn herself. Ask her just how you ruined her life and had her sent here, in the middle of fucking nowhere."The smirk falls from his face as he glares at you with a markedly increased amount of venom than he did when you greeted him with tawdry store-bought pornography.There it is, then. The reason for all this nonsense. You were wondering if you were just that bad with meeting new people, or if there was some underlying explanation to all the vitriol.You don't have any reply, other than feeling...what? Guilt? Of course, you're guilty. Kharn has been nothing but nice to you ever since you got here, and she seems to genuinely like you, even at your worst. If what Souji is saying is true, then you've done something horrible to her, enough that her way of life was upset and she got shipped off to this Disney On Ice shithole extravaganza. Her career as Warmaster, down the drain because of you.[1/2]
>>20440011could we get some of this?>>20439839
>>20440011He's still not invited to the Vodka Victory Parties.Try to guilt trip us won't help him.
>>20440011You must have looked pretty bad for Midori to take your hand and give it a squeeze."It's alright, sempai." Midori murmurs. "Whatever happened, I'm sure Miss Valnikov's already forgiven and forgotten all about it. She wouldn't be nice to you if she didn't, right?"You're...you're not too sure about that, but...Souji chuckles once more, but says nothing the rest of the trip back to the surface.You don't have much to say, either.Just how much have you forgotten? Just how many people did you ruin?
>>20440028>majority of this thread fucking loathes you and your avatafagging. Apart from one two neckbeards who have THE SAME DRAMA IN EVERY THREAD, the majority actually wants to read the damn thread. Use a filter and stop whining.
>>20440023That kind of awesome need to occur faster so Deculture see it before writing plot. So, probably no.>>20440028Can we not get into the Avatar / trip / namefag fight for the fourth time? Please? yes, it's annoying, yes you hate it, just be mautre, install 4chanx, and block his / her / it's comments if it bothers you that much.
>>20440047Yeah, we better ask Kharn. Politely.
>>20440063This. We don't remember any of it, so it's best to ask Kharn-sempai what happened and apologize for our past behavior.
>>20440047>end threadONE MORE THREAD WITHOUT BEARS AND I WILL END YOU DECULTURE
>>20440028I've always been amused by it and decu said it was okay(before the rule posting)Don't pretend there is only one feeling towards it.
>>20440047And that's the thread for tonight! Thank you for everyone's participation, and please leave feedback if possible!
>>20440063Wait until the promised Vodka Reminiscence scene, then tell Kharn details about your memory problems, and ask her to fill you back in.Probably the best way to go about it.
>>20440056Like it or not, it is against the rules. Reporting it is your duty as an official /tg/ neckbeard.
We need to bring a gift when we are asking that though.Takoyaki probably. Or a better Takoyaki maker.
>>20440076Doesn't matter, it's against the rules. He was banned for in once already. He knows he shouldn't be doing it.
>>20440051>Just started to read this quest last week and catched up on it in the archives>Shitton of people feel bothered by it>"Apart from one two neckbeards who have THE SAME DRAMA IN EVERY THREAD"Yeah, right. Sure thing, mate.
Also, I apologize for the horrible delays, I've been posting under the weather.Personally, I don't mind Miyori's reaction pictures. They don't detract from his/her replies, and I rarely use images anyway.Thank you again!
>>20440086Could we please, please, please, please get Midori pictures in some of following threads?
>>20440086THIS>>20440075THISRAARGHBARGL...Other than that, decent thread. We didn't make as much ground as I would have liked, but that's alright, I presume you're pacing it a certain way for a reason.
>>20440028>what is a filterAlso, no>>20439993That would be the saddest of the quests.Furthermore, that was not a nice thing to do.>>20440002>>20439984>>20439986No>>20440086>no bearsWhat are you even playing at?Apart from that, a fine thread. Yesterday's was grand too. So thanks for those.You are the dandiest.>>20440114:3c
>>20440114no one cares that you like it. they are not reaction pictures. he was banned for it once.He is avatarfagging.
>>20440089Actually it's our duty as fa/tg/uys not to be immature fucks about something as small as one person avatarfagging.Crying about things you don't like and pushing to get them banned is /a/ or /v/ level shit
>>20440114It's fine, Deculture.Get better soon.
Is Pinky and QB eating the flesh of fallen angels?
Ah, damn. I was hoping to have the blueline pass (because I despise inking, and cannot do it) of The Murderface Experience done before we Chikuwa'd.Ah well. Next thread.
>>20440086You might want to consider dropping a status update post in the thread so people reading it know what's what without resorting to twitter. I only use twitter when I'm bored at work and want to see if you're planning a thread.I'm liking Kharn, a lot. And Souji's an ass.Good job on the Patching up with Midori.Where's my bears at?!Thanks for the Quest, Deculture! Keep on Keeping on!>>20440089A) I'm from /m/, so I don't give a crap. B) Doesn't reporting people go against Rule #1: BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER?
>>20440143Crying about things that are already against the rules is totally fine. I'm not pushing to get avatarfagging banned, it's already banned. Moot has spoken, and his word is law.
>>20440113Actually very few people give a fuck and it is simply a few very vocal assholes.>>20440131Without Deculture we wouldn't have these threads so how about actually not being a cunt to him and accepting that he doesn't have a problem with it so you can just learn to deal with itReport him if you feel the need, filter him so you don't see it but don't come shitting these threads up with the same old bitching.
>>20440088This is best.We won't sound antagonistic about it this way.We just shouldn't mention it alone suddenly.
REBELLIONWE WILL HAVE BEARS
>>20440128You should screencap Deculture's>>20440114post. I'm getting sick of people shitposting about your pictures, so this ought to shut them up.Again, thanks for running the quest, OP!
>>20440086enjoyed it and i don't ever want that dream becoming reality.i am worried about how Chiaki ruined Kharn and what that might get us in to in the near future.
>>20440171Then report and move on instead of crying about it in thread.I know it is against the rules but making needless drama over it is spamming or shitposting which is also against the rules.
>>20440128IIRC you agreed to limit the avatarfagging to reaction post only.But it's not the first time you didn't keep your word.Anyway, I don't care either way.You can use that pic at least you will slightly thread related.
>>20440182>i am worried about how Chiaki ruined Kharn I'm getting this asociated with the scene of Murder Mayumi "ruining" Miracle Midori... and I should probably feel bad about it.
Guys, calm the fuck down. What happened to the reasonableness thing we were working on? Honestly, the avatarfagging annoys me a little too, but the people bitching about it are worse. Logic has cut down on the pics, and apart from a fixation on Midori/Kharn generally gives quite solid suggestions. Fuck me if the grognards aren't out in force today...
>>20440118You thought it was going to be a hot girl? TOO BAD, IT'S MIDORI!
>>20440086Thanks so much for the thread today, Deculture! You're the best.
>>20440213that fapfic a few threads back is looking pretty plausible right now.
>>20440216Well, "ingame" progress is quite smooth now, so we are venting bickering on each other... at least that's how I see it.
>>20440243>that is actually quite accurate...Huh.Better get improving that.
I have no problem with the dude with the dumb reaction pictures, but I will fight him over getting to bully Midori, because It Is Fun. >:3
>>20440241We are much better, but I'd really rather things didn't turn back into shitstorms all day everyday. The only inclement weather we should have to worry about is the storms that cut out Deculture's internet (Or almost sweep his house away). Venting a bit is alright, but we lost most of the extremists, so we generally get a pretty cool vibe going.>>20440243Look, I agree with you, the avatars are disruptive. But there isn't much we can do about it by whinging at him. You want to take definitive action, report him, let the mod/janitor make a call. Hell, that happens once or twice and he might even be sufferable. But whining in the thread only makes his dick harder, and moves us closer to the above mentioned shitstorms.
>>20440258I'm against you avatarfagging just because now that it's against the rules it's pure trollbait.
>>20440263Really I enjoy the molesting / teasing more than anythingI am just hoping that we cause Midori to distract Iori once we get back, assuming she hasn't made a contract / gone flesh of fallen angels
>>20440243This.This is what truly makes him annoying. /tg/ doesnt give a fuck about tripfags for the sake of quests or storytiem but Decultures threads tend to turn more and more into Tripfag-circlejerks thanks to those people.
btw: are we archieving? (sp?)
We better shoot some bears next thread or I'm going to vote to start shooing people.
>>20440292How have any of the MGNQ threads turned into a circle jerk?Honestly the answer is not at all, we have tripfags and they simply contribute without causing a circle jerk. The only problems we get are shitstorms between grimderp/waifu extremists and this one recurring issue of a couple of people not being able to deal with one person avatarfagging through the many means we have to ignore or stop it.
>>20440298Yep. Someone kindly archived the thread.Great job!
>>20440311The last few threads have had the namefags start to have decent sized reply chains about their fucking shipping preferences.It's only going to get worse.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Magical%20Girl%20Noir%20Questarchive is up, feel free to point if i did anything wrong.
>>20440326All good. Well done.
>>20440311It's especially funny when they whinge about the trip, when it was a measure to make the guy easier to ignore.>>20440308Inb4 bad end at the claws of a bear.
>>20440324>people having the wrong kind of funShocking!
>>20440324And that is Different from Anons discussing that or how they think we should have handled Iori or any other situation differently?The only reason you are mad is that the few people who choose to identify themselves for whatever reason had a conversation, circle jerking is when they all go on about how good they are and how their opinions are the best onesI swear these fucking kids should learn what words mean before they start throwing them around.
>>20440324Eh, it looked like it was going to get pretty bad during the factions era, but we survived it. The overall consensus does seem to be that any sort of romantic relationship is a fucking horrible idea, so as long as things stay that way they can be safely ignored. Though if we do have to choose a waifu, I'm personally voting for the ground. It's supported us, long term, not matter what, ready to embrace us at our worst or most drunk.
>>20440354>Protip: You're replying to two different personsI didn't say they were circle jerking yet, but it can only get worse now that there's five of them and you lot are encouraging them.
>>20440388>not our flaskyou two timing piece of shit. I bet you licked the dirt too?
>>20440402Well, we in MGNQ, we do lick -everything-.But wait, do we even have a flask? I was of the notion we were a 'bottle at a time' kind of girl.
>>20440447True. We never used a flask.Unless you count Midori' soulgem.
>>20440447I imagined us having a flask. If not we should get one so we can store our soul gem in it.Then it can be cushioned by honey whiskey all day long.
Friendly reminder that Nanoha has a golden weapon.
>>20440468>honey whiskeyOff topic, but it hardly matters at this point.I don't suppose anyone has actually tried it? It just seems to be popping up more at the moment, and I admit that I'm rather curious.
>>20440505I stick mine in the box freezer and drink it out of chilled glasses. It's pretty good that way. Otherwise the alcohol just overpowers the honey. I've put it in milk(normal honey in milk is great too) too but I've been called a terrible person for doing that.Drinking is never off topic in this quest.
>>20440544Hmmm, I might give it a go. Drinking it with milk does sound an... interesting choice, but I can see the reasoning. I'll try it chilled and make a call from there. Thanks.
>>20440648Mami can't say you're having a bad breakfast this way. We're having vodka with the OJ or we're drinking milk with our whiskey.
>>20440505I drink it if I go out drinkingIf you get decent to good quality stuff it is absolutely beautifulThe whiskey needs to be good quality or it is horrible but if it is good and mixed right you get this great combination of the whiskey flavor and this little bit of sweetness as an aftertaste that is great..The cheapest one that I find drinkable is Wild Turkey American Honey ( actually capitalized like that for the marketing ) but there are much better out there
>>20440826Oooh, thank you. I'm a student, so drinking cheap is a depressingly high priority. I'll give the Wild Turkey one a go.
>>20440826this has it, don't get the Jack kind if you can help it. The Jack has a.. strong/bitter aftertaste the Wild Turkey doesn't.granted we're bitching about ~30 USD bottles like the peasants we are.
>>20441000Well for me it is 50 AUD thanks to taxes and other bullshit but yeah it is still relatively cheap.It isn't hillbilly cheap though which is the difference.
>>20441042ha, and the AUD is still on par with USD. I'm crying on the inside.but yes, we not drinking bud light at least,
>>20441042$40 from Dan Murphy's ;)Still though, whenever I hear American's bitching about the price of just about any product I just want to slap the gits.
Hrm. May even have the colours done for tomorrow at this rate.
>>20441173Good lord, man! That looks even better! God speed with the coloring!
>>20441099Heh yeah like games"I pay $60 for a new game"Try living here and paying $100+ for it sometime.Or paying more for mini's, books etc because apparently we are on another planet.Even goddamned steam tried pulling that bullshitAnd sadly I live in a small town so no Dan Murphy's
>>20441488Ooh, ouch. I get away with some shit not being too expensive since I'm in a fairly populated area, but everything imported has some sort of mark up.
>>20441488I feel for you man.I live in Europe, it's no way near as bad as you guys but we still got shafted on prices and release dates.
>>20441661>>20441745That is why the PS3 and EBay end up being my go to options.They can mark shit up all they want in local stores so I will ignore it and buy it cheaper from the Internet.
Nice pic man, you better finish coloring it soon...or else.
>>20441887It'll be done when it's done.
Not sure if anyone is still in here, but whilst trying to over analyse Diary Entry 6, I googled sarcophagi, since serious shit is happening behind our little struggle. The word root for sarcophogus is 'sarkophagus', which is greek for "Flesh Eating". Am I finding links where there are none? Because my paranoia is now in overdrive.
>>20442142That picture is terrifyingly brilliant.